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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 11:
Not So Civil Disobedience

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – When voicing Ithorians, Nick uses an incredibly low, deep, drawn out voice and often pauses in the middle of sentences.

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Friends, a lot of things have happened since two Thursdays ago so stick with me, namely I have some reviewers that I am excited to thank. First up, opRIAter. Thank you so much for your kind words and review. Also, I wanna thank Rated RConO. You’re wonderful. FLSocialWorker, you said some very nice things , and you’re a super cool person. ProperGentleman, you rhymed and were sublime, thank you. I want to thank the user FunnyStarWarsPodcast. You said some extremely kind things, and you have a super appropriate username. Special thanks to FrostyTheSnowman92. Drive safe, and thanks for joining us on our adventures. Last but not least, I want to thank Dolpheus123. You’re a thoughtful and engaging human that we all enjoy.

Phew, that was a lot. Right? Well, for anyone that was counting, that puts us at exactly 20 reviews. Cameron is currently stressfully, but happily, editing our bonus episodes featuring Karma and her twin sons. You can expect the next episode next week. I hope you all look forward to six straight weeks of Star Wars shenanigans. Everyone on Tabletop Squadron is ecstatic with the recent listener responses we’ve been getting, and we want to thank you all from the bottom of our multiple alien hearts.

After all that, thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy.

## [0:02:05]

NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 11 of Tabletop Squadron. I am your host, Nick. This is going pretty good. I’m pretty happy with it. Thank you for joining us on this journey. I’m gonna go around the table. Everybody introduce themselves and their characters, starting off with the person who gave me the double bird when I said 11.

LAURA: Hi, I’m Laura. (laughter) I play Xianna who is a Twi’lek thief, and I did indeed double flip Nick off. I was just making sure you knew we were on Episode 11.

NICK: Yeah, obviously.

LAURA: I was being helpful.

NICK: Thank you very much, Laura. This is great for my self-esteem.

LAURA: You’re welcome.

NICK: And, next we got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi Nick, it’s great to be here.

NICK: I’m glad.

HUDSON: I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: And, Steven.

STEVEN: Hi Nick.


STEVEN: Thank you for allowing me this chair.

NICK: Oh, I mean, it depends on how you behave. We may take it away.

STEVEN: Yeah. … I play Sabos, a Togruta, a fringer. I’m done.


NICK: Good work. Yay!

CAMERON: You should just leave all of those in. Leave the whole thing in.

NICK: Listeners need to know that was like the fourth try. And last but not least, we have Cameron.

CAMERON: Hi. I’m Cameron. I’m playing Karma the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Good job. Professional. Succinct.

CAMERON: Thanks. I memorized my script.

NICK: Yeah. It’s like a sentence, so…

CAMERON: Mm-hmm!

LAURA: It’s really not that hard.

CAMERON: No, it’s really not.

STEVEN: I’ve only given it 11 times. Okay?

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: It’s true.

NICK: Alright. Before we get started, let’s kick it off with the Destiny Roll.

STEVEN: Two light side.

CAMERON: One dark side.

HUDSON: One dark side.

LAURA: One dark side.

STEVEN: God damn it, guys.

NICK: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

CAMERON: Three dark side, two light side.

NICK: It’s better than last episode where I didn’t have toys to play with. This is much better. Alright. If you remember, last time we left off you went to a gaming den on the outside of the Ithorian herdship looking for Kettle, as she’s known in the underworld “the Queen,” who had won an important piece of equipment off of your contact and you needed to go get it back. You had challenged Kettle to a Sabacc tournament to try and get the Rancore Protocol back and you were successful, you even secured an IOU from the mobster, and we left off with her seeming not really that worried about it, almost like that’s what she had expected all along.

LAURA: I’m not worried.

CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine.

NICK: Yeah, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll probably forget. Right?

STEVEN: She’s a kind, benevolent queen.

NICK: Sure she is. Is there anything else you guys want to do in the casino? Do you want me to start you back in the bar, or on the street?

LAURA: Yes, please.

STEVEN: Bar sounds good.

CAMERON: Yeah. Let’s go back to the bar.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: No, so, Xianna definitely goes back over to the Twi’lek waitress and gives her her com number, and is like, I’m sure this will be totally fine. “That is my number. I do not know how long we will be here, but you know.”

NICK: I’m not sure what it looks like if you’re green and you blush, but that happens.

LAURA: I think Twi’leks bleed red?

CAMERON: Yeah, but if your skin’s green…

LAURA: It would be kind of like a rutty…

NICK: I guess her skin would just darken… Eh.

CAMERON: Karma blushes a darker green, so… as blood rushes to the skin.

LAURA: I think it would just be kind of like a rutty red.

NICK: Here’s a cool writing trick. The green Twi’lek waitress blushes and titters behind her hand, and does some lekku twitches that show that she’s pleased with that ,and tucks it inside. “Well thank you, and thank you for joining us at the gambling den.” She makes eye contact for just a second, and then someone calls for her by the bar and she hurries away to go continue her job.

You leave the gambling den, and the camera zooms in on a tray of drinks and into the top of the drink, and then zooms out from a circle of drinks at a round table as you all each grab a glass, and you are back in The Gooberfish. You’re in that round booth from before, so you’re all sitting, there’s one table. You all have Felton Mox crammed between you two on each side so he’s not going anywhere. The Ithorian bartender is off kind of in the corner bustling around with the glasses, and that’s where we’re gonna start.

STEVEN: I take my Imperial Stout and say, “Good job, guys. Thank you especially, Felton.”

NICK: “Yeah, uh…”

LAURA: “I mean, he did not do very much, so…”

NICK: “What? I, I am a valued member of this team at this point. I brought you to the contact. You were successful.”

STEVEN: “You are sitting with us.”

HUDSON: “Zero is a value, I guess.”

LAURA: “Very true.”

CAMERON: (laughing) The hood giggles.

NICK: “You know, I didn’t do a lot of math growing up, so I guess—I don’t know. That’s fine. So, you have your tools you need.” The camera zooms in on the data spike and the plasteel box that you have collected. The data spike for the Rancore Protocol is curved kind of like a talon and has some exposed circuit boards on the outside. It looks a little less finished than most that you are used to. The plasteel box is about six inches by six inches and it rattles ominously for a second before going still again.

LAURA: “So, does anybody have a plan?”

STEVEN: “Do you know how to use these devices, Felton?”

HUDSON: “I can use them.”

NICK: “Well…”

STEVEN: “Tink?”

HUDSON: “Why would he—Why would you want him to use them?”

STEVEN: “Oh. I don’t want him to use them. I’m curious if he knows how.”

LAURA: “I would assume Tink would know how to use a data spike.”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Do you know how this relates to shutting down the Imperial blockade?”

HUDSON: “Are you questioning my knowledge?”

LAURA: “Oh. We have to get onto one of the ships and then use the data spike. Right? That was said at some point”

HUDSON: “That’s correct.”

CAMERON: The hood nods.

LAURA: “Yes. So, all we have to do, just a little thing, get on an Imperial ship, and then put in the data spike, and then destroy the blockade.”

STEVEN: “That should be fine.”

LAURA: “Yeah. Uh-huh.”

NICK: Felton has really wide eyes, and he goes, “Well, uh, we’re not really sure what that data spike does, or at least I’m not. You probably are gonna wanna open that up. Since the big guy seems pretty confident in his skills he should probably work on that. Remember, the goal is to crash the flagship, break the blockade for the Ithorians, that little box there probably would be pretty useful in taking down a Star Destroyer. I wouldn’t open it though, yet, if I were you.”

LAURA: “What is in it?”

STEVEN: “Should we open it on the Star Destroyer?”

NICK: “Uh… Yeah. If you open it on the Star Destroyer it’ll probably do it. Let’s just say it’s a particularly unconventional weapon. That’s all Sentinel told me, but he did say don’t open it.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

HUDSON: “So it varies from normal convention?”

LAURA: “Well yes, that is what unconventional means.”

HUDSON: “I’m just making sure, man.”

NICK: “Yeah. You know, it’s an important point to clarify. I think you should ease up off my buddy here a little bit—“

HUDSON: “Yeah!”

NICK: “—you know, because us hairy folks gotta stick together. Am I right?”

HUDSON: “Yeah! People are questioning my knowledge. This guy gets it!”

LAURA: “No… No…”

NICK: He puts his arm up for a high five. You’re sitting on the outside of the table, so you’re gonna have to high five over Xianna.

HUDSON: I try and I miss.


CAMERON: He’s still a little drunk.

HUDSON: I’m still a little drunk.

NICK: So, your hand hits the table, everyone’s drinks rattle, Sabos’s Imperial lager which is still pretty full goes over the side of the glass just a little and it leaves kind of sudsy, but your arms are long enough that you can reach Felton so he kind of like picks up your wrist and then high fives next to your hand so that the high five was completed.

HUDSON: “…Alright.”

LAURA: “So, anyways. We will have Tink look at the data spike, investigate that, figure out how it works. Any ideas how we get onto the Imperial ship?”

STEVEN: “We do have a code cylinder.”

CAMERON: Karma pulls out the code cylinder.

LAURA: “Oh yes, we have that.”

CAMERON: And then places it back in her jacket.

LAURA: “Big problem, none of us are human, and while you are, you know, you—“

NICK: “I knew it!”

CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: Xianna like holds up a finger at Felton Mox to shush him, “and you are you, but that is a special circumstance and we do not know how far we will get before they ask to see who exactly you are.”

HUDSON: “Shave me and I look enough like a human.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, have you shaved yourself before?”

HUDSON: “There was this one time in college. It was kind of a bet. And, yeah, it’s happened.”

LAURA: “I mean, I have seen a hairless Wookie. They do not look like humans.”

HUDSON: “They look like a human with something messed up about them.”

LAURA: “No. They look like a hairless Wookie.”

HUDSON: “You’re only one part—What do y’all think?”

NICK: “I mean, my hairy buddy here isn’t a Wookie, so maybe he looks more human. You don’t know.”

HUDSON: “That’s right.”

STEVEN: “How about we make him look like a Wookie.”

LAURA: “Wait, wait, who here is a Wookie?”

NICK: “You said a hairless Wookie doesn’t look like a human, but he’s not a hairless Wookie, he’s a Gigoran. Right? Yeah. I’ve been there once. It’s real nice. There weren’t any Gigorans there, though. That was weird.”

HUDSON: “Ah. Yeah. You just got some bonus points there, Filmon.”


NICK: “Uh, Felton.”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

NICK: “Yeah. Yeah, so we’re, we’re pals—Hey. I gotta go to the bathroom, so if you guys could just let me scoot out of this booth for a second here, I’ll be right back.”

HUDSON: “Oh, no. I’ll join you. Social convention and all.”

LAURA: “Yes, Tink, you go with him.”

NICK: Okay. So there’s a way too long shot of you all like skootching out of the booth, and Xianna has to get out and wait…

LAURA: (sighs heavily)

NICK: …and Felton gets out and starts to head towards the back, and Tink goes with him?


NICK: Okay. They go off camera-right into somewhere, and it’s the three of y’all sitting at the table.

LAURA: “Okie, so, how badly do you think Felton will react if he ever figures out who you are?”

CAMERON: “He was pretty drunk, so I don’t know if he’d 100% remember. He’d definitely recognize me, but it’s also at this point I’m wondering if I can just start talking but leave the hood on so that any cameras don’t see me… but the quietness is chafing.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “I’ve been working on my Imperial accent, but it’s not great.”

LAURA: “We should’ve picked a human.”

STEVEN: “As long as they don’t recognize me, Togrutas aren’t super threatening.”

LAURA: “No, but they do not look Imperial.”

CAMERON: “But you’re also an alien.”

STEVEN: “I could be a servant.”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “Well yeah, that’s how we got here—“

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

CAMERON: “—was that we’re ignoring the fact that I’m not human.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, oh yeah, right. I am the servant.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”

LAURA: “So, getting through the blockade is one thing. Getting onto an Imperial ship is a different thing, because then like, real people see us in person and see that we are not human.”

CAMERON: “So, well, this gets a little weird, but some of y’all do have Imperial bounties on you. I could turn you in, we get the money for the bounty, and then you’re on the Star Destroyer, we’re there, we wreck whatever havoc we need to, and then hopefully we leave.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “That sounds alright. I’m just not sure if my bounty is important enough to them to actually seem not sketch.”

LAURA: “Well, we could always wreck up the place down here a bit.”

STEVEN: “We… could. Somewhere the Imperials are watching?”

LAURA: “Yes.” (laughs)

NICK: The Ithorian bartender kind of leans around the bar and goes, “I… would like… to disagree.”

LAURA: “No, no, not this place specifically, this bar, I mean like an Imperial station or something.”

NICK: “With that plan…”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

NICK: The Ithorian bartender is like paused with a finger up… and then goes back to wiping down the bar.

LAURA: “Yes. So, if we could find some sort of Imperial outpost or galactic run company front, or something like that.”

CAMERON: “The way that this would need to work if it is me turning y’all in, I would need to drop you off and I would need to leave, and y’all would need to get another ship to get off.”

NICK: Smash cut to Tink and his buddy Felton in the bathroom at two urinals. Tinkly water noises.

LAURA: Psss… (hissing)

NICK: Oh, no, that’s like a sibilant noise. We don’t want that one. Have you been in a men’s bathroom? It doesn’t sound like that at all.

LAURA: Well, I can’t make the tinkle sounds of hitting the porcelain!

HUDSON: Blorb blorb blorb blorb blorb.

STEVEN: Just imagine asparagus.


NICK: Ugh.

LAURA: That’s not a sound!

NICK: You’re gross!

STEVEN: I use too many bathrooms at work.

NICK: Sounds like asparagus. (others giggle)

The camera is on their backs, and you see Felton’s head turn towards Tink. “You know, sometimes they call me the Rancore of Coronet,” and he’s like looking pretty proud of himself.

HUDSON: “Are you coming on to me?”

NICK: “Uh… I—No? May—“

HUDSON: “Good.”

NICK: “Okay. Yeah, I wouldn’t, come on, no. we’re, I hope—It’s platonic!” And he turns around real quick. We cut back to the table.

HUDSON: So awkward. (laughter)

CAMERON: It’s so awkward.

LAURA: “So, yes, we will throw some like grenades at some—“

STEVEN: “I could be your bounty.”

CAMERON: “No no no.”

LAURA: “No, not my bounty. I’m not bringing them in. I have a bounty out for me. It was more than yours.”

STEVEN: “Aren’t you the bounty–?”

CAMERON: “I am a bounty hunter, under the cloak here.”

STEVEN: “Oh okay, yeah.”

LAURA: “Karma is the bounty hunter.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, that’s right…”

CAMERON: “Y’all are the ones with bounties.”

STEVEN: “Yeah. I’m trying to find a reason…”

LAURA: “Yes. Well, Tink doesn’t really have one—“

CAMERON: “No. Tink was clean.”

LAURA: “—but I’m pretty sure if you just bring a Gigoran in they will assume he did something.”

CAMERON: “Well, it’s also how we want to work it. Do we want to split and have Tink be somewhere separate where he can hack into things if necessary, or do we want him on the ship?”

LAURA: “You know, he is surprisingly sneaky for his size. He could be on the ship and then sneak off while you are bringing us in. we will just make some sort of loud commotion as you are bringing us in so that they do not look as closely to the ship as they should. He sneaks off and he hides in there, and then we meet up later?”

NICK: Smash cut to the bathroom! They’re still standing at the urinals. Felton says, “You know, I’ve always kind of had a thing for tentacles.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Yeah. I know a fellow with head tails. Is that what you mean?”

NICK: “Uh… You know, my friends always said never date a Togruta. I’ve made that mistake before.”

HUDSON: “Oh, and you’re not willing to make it again, are ya?”

NICK: “I mean, what’s a mistake but another of life’s little lessons, right?” And we snap back to the table.


LAURA: I want Tink to set Sabos up on a date!

STEVEN: And I hope Felton is—He’s like, he’s been done peeing, but Tink obviously isn’t, so he’s just standing there still, just pretending.

LAURA: Just like a race horse, just goes forever.

CAMERON: He had a very large drink at the gaming den.

NICK: Okay, yeah. That’s canon.

STEVEN: He’s bigger, clearly.

CAMERON: Tink has a very large bladder.

LAURA: Yes. He’s giant.

STEVEN: Yeah. “So, I need to be on the ship, or I go out with you as your servant still?”

LAURA: “No. So, you have a bounty.”

STEVEN: “I do.”

LAURA: “I have a bounty, so we have to be seen, and we should probably do something here to make it a little bit more pressing, so we should like be seen doing something to a building, or Imperials, or stormtroopers, something of that nature, so that when Karma brings us in they are a little bit more excited about it.”

CAMERON: “Just so that there’s a reason that I’m disturbing the blockade.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “Will they not be suspicious that Karma’s servant now suddenly has a bounty?”


LAURA: “No, no, she will take off the robe, the cape, situation.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I would become myself again.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see. I understand now.”

LAURA: Because she is a known bounty hunter, so they will not be suspicious if she, as Karma, brings us in.”

STEVEN: “Will they let her as Karma back through the blockade on the way out?”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “They probably will not let me leave, but I should at least be able to get to the ship and drop y’all off.”

STEVEN: “Yes, that’s true.”

LAURA: “And then Tink can hide in the ship, and when we make some sort of commotion he gets off the ship and hides, and then we will just somehow try to meet up later, get out of the prison, or you know Tink come gets us.”

NICK: So, one thing I do want to call out, if you “turn in a bounty,” if you want to preserve your relationship with the Empire, you would want to be careful that they don’t see you for what you’re doing, which is like letting people loose on their ship for hijinks.

CAMERON: Yeah. That’s why I was saying that I would need to leave once I dropped them off, and like once the dealings were done and I found out if there were any other people I could go after on the planet, because obviously I’m not gonna try and leave because of the blockade, and I respect the Imperials, so it’s just if there’s anyone else down there they want me to get while I’m stuck here.

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: “Also, you can tell them that you have another bounty. Does Felton have a bounty?”

CAMERON: “One sec. I know he does on Coronet. I don’t know if he does within the system, though.” I get out my data pad and look up Felton Mox.

LAURA: “We could always bring Felton with us when we go… I don’t know, throw grenades at the place? We’ll figure that part out.”

NICK: Smash cut to the bathroom. It is very clear that Felton has been done peeing for a while but he’s still standing there staring at the wall, and his head tilts over towards Tink again who is still going. “So, uh, what’s your deal?”

HUDSON: (laughs) “So… Tink made a tinkle.”


NICK: “Ha ha ha…”

LAURA: Oh, you are too drunk.

NICK: Felton stops for a second. “Uh… Yeah. Yeah, you did,” and then snap back to the table.

LAURA: “What we could do is you drop Sabos and I off and then you say that you have another bounty back on the planet that you will have to bring up later, and that way you can come back for us.”

CAMERON: “That’s true. I could do that.”

LAURA: “And we will just have to be very careful to sneak onto the ship so that they do not ever know we are together, because I think you want to still stay a respectable-ish bounty hunter?”

CAMERON: “Everyone’s life is a lot easier if one of us on the crew is not wanted.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “You could just say you caught me gambling, because I think it’s clear that my bounty is a money problem. Right?”

LAURA: “I do not think that gambling is illegal. Is it?”

STEVEN: “Well, I have a bounty, though.”

LAURA: “I mean, in some places it is.”

STEVEN: “I do have a money problem bounty.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, I mean, I could definitely pick you up in the gambling den, but that wouldn’t be why I was turning you in. It would just be, that might be where I saw you, to make them think that you were gambling away all of the money that you stole from them.”

STEVEN: “Exactly. I feel like they would take me for that.”

CAMERON: “Well, I mean, they’re gonna take you anyway. There’s a bounty out on you.”

STEVEN: “It’s a little bounty.”

CAMERON: “I know, but they’re still gonna pay me and take you.”

STEVEN: “True.”

LAURA: “But again, that is why we are going to go be seen publicly doing something illegal so that when she brings us to the ship it is a little bit more impactful, because we would have just done something.”

STEVEN: “I’m just worried about my diplomatic status.”

LAURA: “That is not a thing at this point. That is gone. It is no more.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I am an Osaronian diplomat.”

LAURA: “No…”

CAMERON: “Yes, so we’re not arguing with that. What Xianna is saying is that you already kriffed up your relationship with the Empire.”

STEVEN: “Oh, they don’t know me.”

CAMERON: “Uh, yeah they do. They have a BOUNTY out on you, Sabos.”

LAURA: “You have a 2,000 credit bounty.”

STEVEN: “Just a little bounty.”

CAMERON: “Yes. That still means they know about you.”

STEVEN: “I play both sides. You know, I know some of the Empire, I make deals with the others, some try to catch me.”

LAURA: “Okie. So, as someone who often plays both sides, the problem is eventually—“

NICK: Heh.


LAURA: “Eventually both sides figure out what is going on, and sometimes those both sides get together to come after you as a group, and that is worse.”

NICK: We cut to a well-furnished dark wood office overlooking a jungle, and we see a tan man with little horns wearing an Imperial uniform holding a martini glass staring out the window. Falx goes, “Wow. I feel like someone was just talking about me.” And we cut back to the table.

LAURA: “So, if you have an Imperial warrant for your arrest for 2,000 credits, the Empire knows because they issued the warrant. Do you understand how warrants work?”

CAMERON: “And did you notice that eventually Falx did look y’all up. That’s something that they do. They do run your credentials.”


LAURA: “I am not surprised about that. I am a career criminal. That is how that works. That’s why I use fake names. You keep using the same two names.”

STEVEN: “Normally Osaron is just too far and remote for them to come and worry about.”

LAURA: “And that is fine…”

CAMERON: “And see, that works great as long as you’re not interacting with Imperials, but you’re going to be.”

LAURA: “…but you are interacting, and you have an Imperial warrant.”

STEVEN: “Oh… That’s fine. I think I can pay it off.”

NICK: Smash cut, back to the bathroom. There’s no longer any urinating noises. They’re both still standing at the urinal. Felton turns to Tink. “We’ve been in here a really long time.”

HUDSON: “Uh, I don’t even know what time is anymore. I can’t figure out how long I’ve been in here. You’ll have to help me with that.”

NICK: “Right. I think it’s probably time to go back to the table. If you go first I’ll make sure I wash hands for the both of us.”

HUDSON: “I’m supposed to be watching you because you’re my friend, so I think that we should wash our hands and I’ll follow behind you.”

NICK: “Alright. Let’s get those hands washed, big guy.” And they go over to the sink. Cut back to the table.

LAURA: “So again, I feel like we have this plan already planned out pretty well.”

STEVEN: “Sounds good.”

LAURA: “Okie. Do you understand?”

STEVEN: “I think so.”

LAURA: “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Okie.”

STEVEN: “Oh yes.”

LAURA: “So, I guess we should find some sort of Imperial galactic place that we can be seen, like, graffiti-ing, or throwing a grenade at, or… Do we have like real bombs?”

NICK: On that note, Felton and Tink walk back to the table. There’s an awkward silence as Xianna skootches out and Felton skootches in.

HUDSON: “Me and Femur are back from the whiz palace, all.”

LAURA: “Anyways. So Felton, do you have like any bombs on you? Or not necessarily on you, but like at your place, or one we could borrow?”

NICK: (Felton sighs)

STEVEN: “Well…”

LAURA: “I guess one we could just use.”

STEVEN: “We might not return it.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “We will not return it.”

NICK: “Yeah, no. I gave you two of the strongest weapons in the galaxy just now, so.”

LAURA: “No, we need like a little bomb.”

NICK: “Mmm… no, but I know someone who might be able to help.” We can swipe cut, and what I want to do is a montage of Sabos and Xianna doing public disturbance type stuff for the camera. So, think of your first thing that you do.

STEVEN: Where are we at?

NICK: You’re on the herdship.

STEVEN: No, I get that, but what do we see around us?

LAURA: Like, are there stormtroopers? Is there like…

STEVEN: Statues that are important to the Imperials?

LAURA: Yeah, anything important to the Empire?

CAMERON: Trying to mess stuff up for the Empire, not necessarily the people who live here.

LAURA: Is there a statue of Sheev?

NICK: So, the problem is Ithor has been fairly neutral, and you guys may remember the first Imperial to set foot on the planet since the blockade was Karma, apparently, so there isn’t a lot of stuff. There’s a few things. There is an Imperial archive that has been there, because they place those all over the place, so it’s like a library with a lot of military records, but they’re like propaganda records so they’re not that helpful. There are some communication nodes that go back and forth into space. They’ve been silent lately but they are monitored. Your best bet you realize would probably be to take out infrastructure stuff, because the Imperials want these things functioning so they can use them. If you take down like public transit or electro-grids or anything like that, that’s something that they’re going to notice, but because there’s no Imperial presence the more stuff you do the Ithorians may complain. It may go into your reputation a little bit, but they’re kind of incommunicado, so it’ll really just help you get off planet and to the ship faster, it’s not gonna make you higher profile, and the more you do the more you’ve messed up this neutral city.

CAMERON: So, before we start selecting the targets, Karma wants to go talk to the Oracle again and just explain we’re trying to break the blockade, which we had talked about beforehand when we met them before.

NICK: Let’s just do that scene.

LAURA: Yeah. Let’s say that Sabos and Karma go there, and then Xianna and Tink take Felton and—

CAMERON: And babysit Felton?

LAURA: –and go get a bomb.

NICK: Okay. We need to do those two scenes. So, we’ll start with, we swipe to Sabos and Karma standing in front of the Oracle who is sitting cross-legged. “You have returned… quickly.”

CAMERON: “Yes. We are putting a plan in place to break the blockade, and wanted to run a few things by you and get some advice.”

NICK: “I exist… for advice…”

STEVEN: “That’s true.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful.” Karma’s never quite sure where the sentence finishes, so she waits a little bit longer than—It becomes slightly socially awkward to make sure that the Oracle’s done talking.

NICK: The Oracle looks extremely placid and calm, and doesn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable you are with conversing with him.

CAMERON: “So, the current plan is to try and cause some problems on the herdship that hopefully do not inconvenience your people in a particularly large way but would cause the interest of the Empire so that the ones responsible could be taken to them to reach the ships. So, I would like to request assistance in selecting these targets to where hopefully the end result of this is that the blockade is no more and you can resume life normally, but not have the small amounts of destruction impede that normal life.”

NICK: “The wisdom… of the Mother Jungle… states… that to preserve the trees, sometimes you must prune branches. You… will not… be prosecuted… for any mischief. What… targets are you looking… to attack?”

CAMERON: (giggles) “Things we had discussed were potentially communication nodes that the Empire might be utilizing, the Imperial archives, but also potentially some infrastructure as they want Ithor to continue its current production of everything, so some infrastructure things there. I’m more requesting assistance in selecting infrastructure targets that do not impede your people but might seem like large enough disturbances to warrant the Empire’s attention.”

NICK: The Oracle’s eyes get real wide, and they say, “Whatever… you choose… do not destroy the repulsor pylons. The city will fall out of the sky.”

CAMERON: “Oh, of course. Yes. Not the pylons ,no. more like transportation and those types of things. On top of the herdship, not the inner workings of the herdship at all.”

NICK: “Good. We have a small but respectable metro system… It’s like a monorail, but it’s Star Wars.”

CAMERON: “Oh, cool.”

NICK: “And we don’t use it much, because our population… is shrunken. Knock yourselves out.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful. We’ll make sure the area is clear of any citizens before knocking ourselves out.”

NICK: It’s eyes widen again, and says, “I had assumed… that was a given.”

CAMERON: “Yes. I was just stating it to be clear.”

NICK: “Thank you. We will allow you… to handle the details. What else did you need?”

CAMERON: “Did we need anything else?”

STEVEN: “I think that’s all, your Oracle-ness.”

CAMERON: “I think that is it.”

NICK: It smiles at you like it likes that title. “Well, thank you.” It turns around and it is clearly dismissing you.

STEVEN: “Good bye.”

CAMERON: We leave.

NICK: Swipe cut to… Tink and Xianna and Felton are doing a deal to get a bomb.

LAURA: I’m picturing that we’re like in some back shop that just has like electronics, and we’re doing the whole like, ‘so we need, you know, some special equipment.’ We’re doing one of those things where Felton is asking somewhat code, and we’re just like ‘mm-hmm.’

NICK: From the camera angle, it’s like a dark shop, it’s got a glass case, there’s some random assorted electronics. There’s a Devaronian shopkeeper, which is like a sort of devil-looking guy if you’ve listened to any of the episodes—

CAMERON: A ‘dee-vil.’

LAURA: A ‘dee-vil!’

NICK: Oh man.

LAURA: Hudson, say it.

HUDSON: ‘Dee-vil!’


NICK: Okay. There’s a Devaronian behind the counter, and he’s like, “So, I’m not sure I quite understand. What exactly are you looking for?”

LAURA: Xianna leans in real close, and I imagine this is after a few minutes of subtle little things, like “you know, some equipment,” and she leans in and she goes, “we need, um, how do you say, a bomb.”

NICK: He’s also leaned in, and he goes, “Oh, a bomb. All this weird double speak, I thought you were looking for like drugs or something.”

LAURA: “You have drugs?”

NICK: “Uh, well, that kinda depends.” You can see there’s a little curtain, and on the other side of the building there’s a normal large shop that seems to be selling a lot of gardening implements and stuff like that.

An Ithorian pokes its head through the curtain and says, “What is the problem?”

And the Davronian goes, “Hey, don’t worry about it, just doing some deals back here. You know, I’m here to sell the over inventory. That’s why I’m here. Don’t worry about it one thing. Why don’t you just go back to the main part of the shop?”

“Okay…” And they go away.

“Oh yeah. We got lots of drugs.”

LAURA: “Do you have impact?”

NICK: “Oh yeah, we got impact.” He hits the counter and the top pops open, and you see that it’s like a mirror case, and inside there’s just a nice container shadow box with a lot of different compartments, and he pulls out a surprisingly large baggy of impact.

LAURA: “How much?”

NICK: “Uh, probably only charge you about 20% over the going rate.”

LAURA: (pauses)

NICK: “We’re under a blockade.”

LAURA: Yeah. How many doses of impact do you think is in the bag?

NICK: Like, ten.


NICK: Okay. Here’s what I want to happen story-wise, Laura. I want you to have to choose between getting a shit-ton of impact and being able to buy the bomb.

LAURA: So, Xianna’s like, “How much is the bomb?”

NICK: “About 1,200 credits.”

HUDSON: “I think we may have that.”

LAURA: “No, so, do You have 1,200 credits?”

HUDSON: Uh… I thought we had 1,200 credits.

LAURA: I have 1,500.

HUDSON: Oh, that’s not group money.

LAURA: No, I personally have 1,504 credits. What do you personally have?

HUDSON: 270.

LAURA: Okay…

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s like doing the math in her head. She’s like, ‘oh shit, no.’ (sighs) “Okie, fine. We will buy the bomb.”

NICK: “man, you’re really missing out. You know, this impact, it’s like top notch stuff.”

HUDSON: “We’ll take the bomb!”

LAURA: “I mean, could you sell me like, a smaller amount than the giant bag?”

NICK: “Well… no.”

LAURA: (sighs)

NICK: “I would hate to break up such a big collection, you know. The dealers really prefer this amount. If I break it up even less than that then I won’t be able to get all my money back.”

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s how that works.

NICK: Shut up.


LAURA: ‘Hate to break up the collection!’

HUDSON: That’s how drug dealers talk.

NICK: “No, it’s like this is our gross. If you start selling less than this then people won’t be able to smuggle it.”

STEVEN: Oh, I’d hate to break up the distribution size to people that buy it to make money on the distribution—(laughter) Sounds fine, though. It’s all good.

NICK: “No, because plot points!”

LAURA: “Fine. We will take the bomb.”

HUDSON: “Thank you, Xianna.” I’m very sober by this point.

NICK: Okay. He routes around and he pulls out what looks like two thermal detonators stuck together with a toilet paper tube.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: It’s got like extra wires and things, and he sets it on the counter and nudges it so that it rolls, and that seems real sketch.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna takes it and then holds it for a second, and as she’s putting it in her pocket goes, “Oh, and do you have cans of spray paint?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah.” And we’ll cut from there to the next scene.

LAURA: So, the bomb was 1,200?

NICK: Yeah. Expensive bomb. But now you have a large story bomb that does story bomb things.

LAURA: Yay, story bombs. Booomb~

NICK: So, you all wanna do your sabotage montage?

LAURA: Yes. The first one we’re gonna do is we walk to the archives. Xianna has Sabos walk to the Imperial building, and she throws him a can of spray paint and goes, “Okie. Tag the front of the building, Free Ithor.”

STEVEN: “In Basic?”

LAURA: “In whatever language you want, but probably Basic so that the Imperials read that it says Free Ithor.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see.”

LAURA: “So, tag that building.”

STEVEN: I tag the building that says the Imperial Archive that says Free Ithor, in Basic. I also draw a figure with four head tails.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: It’s your signature.

LAURA: As he’s doing that, Xianna’s just kind of watching, and once he finishes up walks into the building—

STEVEN: Oh, and I use my head tails to rub some of the paint artistically.

NICK: Egh.


CAMERON: Oh god.

NICK: So, how I picture this, Sabos wasn’t around for parts of the plan so you just hand him the spray paint and say just tag Free Ithor on it, and he goes up and tags it, and as he’s rubbing his head tails into it and really getting into it you can see he’s starting to like… He started with just a tag, and then he’s going back and starting to like, perfectionist stuff. Karma, how do you arrest him while he’s doing this?”

CAMERON: Alright. We’re kind of all standing in the shadows to the side. I turn to Felton, “Don’t freak out,” and I drop my cloak.

NICK: He looks at you and goes, “Oh, that actually explains a lot. Man, that Togruta is gonna really be surprised when he finds out that he’s been hanging out with a bounty hunter this whole time.”

CAMERON: “…Yup.” (laughs) “Surprise.”

LAURA: Surprise~

CAMERON: I swing my carbine around to my front and just stalk out into the street, and I think I’m gonna shoot him. I’m gonna stun him.

NICK: Okay… So, Sabos—

CAMERON: It’s gotta be convincing, okay?

STEVEN: (sighs)

CAMERON: I didn’t tell you I was gonna stun you, though. You knew you were gonna get arrested, but you didn’t know I was gonna shoot you.

STEVEN: I did.

NICK: So, Sabos, you turn around and you’re like, ‘Hey, is this re—‘ (whooshing shooting noise) and you just get dropped. Then we swipe cut to a monorail station, but it’s a real small station with a really big track, and a train has just gone by with two Ithorians on it. It’s like a six car train, but not very many people are using it. Xianna, what do you do?

LAURA: So there are people on the train?

NICK: They’re on the train but they just went by, so if you destroy the tracks it’s not gonna drop them.

LAURA: Okay. So, Xianna also takes out a can of spray paint and tags the building again with Free Ithor, and then sets the bomb and runs off, but she makes sure that she looks into the cameras and probably does a little kiss and wave at whichever one she sees as she’s tagging the place, and then just like sets the timer, tosses the bomb behind her, and runs out.

NICK: Karma, how do you arrest her before she makes her escape?

LAURA: Oh, we definitely timed it. I was like, I will run out of this building, and you tackle me.

CAMERON: Yeah. I was carrying Sabos around, because I literally just arrested him, and just—

NICK: You can have like a wheelbarrow that you’ve been carting him in.

CAMERON: Yeah. I just had a wagon. I was pulling a wagon behind me, and I had Sabos in the wagon. He’s in binders at this point. I just see the explosion start as Xianna runs out of the building, and just run and flying tackle from the side… but it’s all done very artfully so that we both land on the side so that we don’t hurt each other.

LAURA: We rehearsed it.

CAMERON: Yeah. We practiced a lot.

LAURA: It’s very WWE.


NICK: So, we get two different camera shots. The first one is a close up kind of grainy security cam film of Xianna in profile spray painting and she does her smooch and wave and winks at the camera, and turns, and then becomes all business and runs out. Then we get a pan of the wide street of another security camera that’s kind of gritty, and she takes like three steps, and then we just see Karma go (three impact noises) and just nail her, and they go flying off screen again.

So, from there, we cut to you all in space. Is Tink on the ship as well? I would imagine so.


NICK: So, you’re on the Afternoon Delight—

CAMERON: Can we take a different ship up?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: I’d like to not take our ship.

LAURA: Just like rent a ship.

CAMERON: Yeah. I just want a rental, because obviously I’m not in my bounty hunting ship, and I’ve been here a while. I didn’t come in on the Imperial shuttle. ‘I’ve been here.’ So, I just rent a ship.

NICK: Okay. We’ll get you the Star Wars equivalent of a daycare van.

CAMERON: Awesome, great.

NICK: It’s a very blocky ship with just like a single view port, nothing fancy, seats like six people, and that’s it. It’s for short hops.

CAMERON: It has a cargo compartment though, so that Tink can hide in the cargo compartment.

NICK: Yes. There’s a compartment under the floor of the ship that a Gigoran laying prone could fit in. we get a shot from behind the ship as it’s on an approach vector to the Star Destroyer. You get a ping on the com, and you hear, “Unidentified vessel, why are you approaching the ISD Vengeance?”

CAMERON: “Yes. This is bounty hunter—“ insert Karma’s bounty hunter ID.

NICK: Whoop! We get the close-in of a slide in card, and the three yellow lights that go across over and over again, because 70’s Star Wars thing. “We have your identification. Why are you approaching the Vengeance?”

CAMERON: “I have two bounties to turn in to Imperial control.”

NICK: “We don’t normally accept bounties on blockade. Why should we let you onto the ship?”

CAMERON: “Well, there’s no holding pattern on the ground, and they’ve been causing some mayhem aboard the herdship. There was a transportation center blown up, and tagging, causing some unrest across the populous, and I figured you’d like them off planet. You are my only option to turn them in at this point.”

NICK: “Oh yes, because you’re not getting out of here, especially not in that.”

CAMERON: “Well, obviously. (laughs)”

NICK: “Roger that, Ithorian sip, uh, Harmless.” (snickering) “You can approach to the third landing bay. Have your prisoners restrained and we will process bounties accordingly.”

CAMERON: “Thank you. Proceeding to the landing bay.”

NICK: Beep-boop. And then we get the shot of the ship going in, and it’s like the cool Star Wars models so it looks nice, and then it lands. How do you all look coming off of the ship? Are they beat up? Are they bindered?

CAMERON: Yes, bindered.


CAMERON: Sabos is looking a little worse for wear, because I shot him…

STEVEN: Do I come in on a wheelbarrow?

CAMERON: No. it’s been long enough by the time—My stun probably didn’t 100% knock you out, it just, yeah.

LAURA: Stun just works how you need it to work in Star Wars.

CAMERON: Yeah. It just, it got you pretty good, and I was able to get the handcuffs on you while you were unaware. So, you look a little frazzled, probably.

STEVEN: I look frazzled.

NICK: Does Sabos have like, a head tail askew, like bad hair? Is he that frazzled?

LAURA & CAMERON: I don’t think that’s how that works.

LAURA: That’s like a nose. I think it’d be broken.

NICK: Oh no.

CAMERON: Yeah, no. he’s fine. He looks a little roughed up. He’s—What color spray paint were you using?

STEVEN: Uh, we’ll go with black.

CAMERON: So, he’s got the tip of his head tails kind of covered in black, and it’s kind of a nice ombre up his head tails with the black.

NICK: Nice work.

CAMERON: Yeah, well he was doing gradient for his graffiti painting, so it kind of did that naturally, but his hands are kind of covered in paint.

STEVEN: See, it couldn’t be red, because it would just blend in with me.

NICK: I was picturing mustard yellow for the graffiti. I don’t know why.

STEVEN: I figure the Imperial archive is a nice, uh…

CAMERON: Clean gray building.


NICK: It’s always gray.

CAMERON: It’s a nice solid black, looks nice.

STEVEN: Exactly. Nice clean gray, so black is definitely noticeable.

NICK: Yeah, it’ll be a pain to clean, and they can never match it when they try to paint over it, so then it looks really obvious. Xianna?

CAMERON: You probably have some soot on you from the explosion.

LAURA: Yeah. I probably added extra soot, and I definitely made sure to hide everything in my deepest pockets. I probably left a can of spray paint in one of the easy to find pockets, so if they search me they feel like they found something, and then I took my scanner goggles off and put it in the deep pockets with my other stuff.

CAMERON: Well, anything you don’t want them to have Karma can keep, too, if you don’t want them to confiscate it. Like, your rifle and stuff, I won’t turn you in with a rifle

STEVEN: That would be a good idea.

LAURA: So, I most likely gave you things like my binders, my surveillance tagger, the IOU from Kettle, but I probably kept my blaster and my little snuff box, because I just put them in my deep pockets because they’re decently hard to check, but I did leave a can of spray paint and some little things for them to find and they feel like they did something when they search me.

STEVEN: I’ll have nothing but a com link in my padded armor.

CAMERON: Your com link’s probably in your… however you have ears.


NICK: So, you’re frog marched out by Karma. There’s two stormtroopers next to a low ranking Imperial officer. He looks like the deck commander. He says, “Well, are these our ne’er-do-wells?” and he looks pretty proud of himself. He’s got like a little squeebly mustache.

STEVEN: “I think I did pretty well.”

CAMERON: “Indeed, officer, they are.”

NICK: “Well, if the records of the scans are to be approved, I don’t know why you look so proud of yourself, Togruta. All you did was spray paint some things.”

LAURA: “I mean, that is actually quite a bit for him.”

CAMERON: “They apparently know each other.”

NICK: “Huh, interesting.”

STEVEN: “Oh, we know each other pretty well.”

LAURA: “No…”

STEVEN: I say implicatively.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: “Well, we’ll be taking over custody now. After the bounty has been turned in and approved you can expect your payment in six to eight weeks.”

LAURA: “I mean, so who approved your mustache?”

NICK: “I’m an Imperial. We can have mustaches.”

LAURA: “You really shouldn’t, though.”


NICK: He motions to a stormtrooper and they punch you in the stomach with the butt of their rifle.

LAURA: “Ow!”

NICK: It hurts.

CAMERON: I swap out my binders with the binders that the stormtroopers have.

NICK: Yeah. It’s all very professional, just click-click, snap-snap.

CAMERON: Yup. Remove mine, put them back up on my head tails.

NICK: The deck commander looks kind of smug and leans over. “Not so smug now, are you? Search the prisoners!” And the stormtroopers come up and start to pat you down. What does your smuggling coat do?

LAURA: It’s an opposed Skulduggery.

NICK: Oh shit. So they’ll have two green… Does the coat make it an opposed Skulduggery, or give you a bonus to it?

LAURA: No, it is an opposed Skulduggery to search.

NICK: Oh. Yeah, they only have two greens. Well, we’ll make it a green and a red. This guy’s been trained. He’s a marine.

LAURA: I want to flip a light side point. I really don’t want them to find my stuff.

NICK: Well, so it’s opposed… Yeah, you can roll a purple and a red on yours, so that we’re building a smaller pool.

LAURA: Six successes, but two threats. And remember, they will find the spray paint.

NICK: Yeah, so they find the spray paint. The stormtrooper pulls it out and says, (muffled) “All she has is this, sir.”

LAURA: “Hey, I want that back. That is mine.”

NICK: “You can have that back… in jail! Ha ha ha.”

LAURA: “Oh, so you will actually give it to me once I am in my cell?”

NICK: The deck commander just slowly shakes his head and says, “Take them to the holding cell.” They pat down Sabos and pull off his com. They leave your armor on, they don’t care. They start to march you away, and the last shot we have is Karma standing at the thing… You’re gonna leave, right?

CAMERON: Yes, after Tink gets off the ship.

NICK: Right. Karma is standing at the foot of the on-ramp, and Tink lifts up the roof of his smuggling compartment and sticks his head out, and says…

HUDSON: “Am I good to go?”

CAMERON: (quietly) “Yeah, I thought you left already.”

HUDSON: “Oh—“ I run out.


NICK: And that’s where we’ll end the episode!

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 10 Sabacc in Business

PDF download: Episode 10 Sabacc in Business

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 10:
Sabacc In Business

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

CAMERON: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Cameron, not your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Thank you so much to GearedForMusic for leaving us an iTunes review. You saying that listening to us was like hanging out with your funny, nerdy friends in space made us smile. iTunes is actually the reason that I’m giving the intro today instead of Nick, your actual game master. GearedForMusic’s review took us to 13 reviews. When we reach 20, we’ll be releasing a series of flashback episodes that I ran featuring Karma’s twin sons. We brought in two of our best friends to play Jet and Juke Nailo, and we had a ton of fun recording this little side adventure. The best thing about the flashback episodes is that we’ll be releasing them on off weeks, so you’ll get double the Tabletop Squadron in your ears for approximately six weeks. I have the first episode edited and ready to go as soon as we hit that 20th review, and I would love for all of you lovely listeners to make me feel rushed to get the next two done.

A huge thank you to everyone who has left us reviews so far and said nice things about us and the show. The squad appreciates it more than you can possibly know. Anyway, I’ve talked enough. Thanks for reviewing, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy.

## [0:01:47]

NICK: Hello, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 10! I’m your host, Nick. Good to have you back! Nothing special.

(long pause, laughter)

HUDSON: Wait, what? Oh, okay. I get it. You can say good to have you back because you’re not referencing it as like we’ve been gone.


NICK: Some people may not know…

CAMERON: (sighs)

NICK: This show releases every two weeks, so we can pretend that we know our listeners and that we’re happy to see them. (laughter) This is going in the god damn episode.

LAURA: We are happy to see our listeners despite this being a purely audio medium.

NICK: Well that’s what the microphones are for. If you look through them you can see, like, ten.

STEVEN: Oh, I see it.


NICK: Yeah. See!

CAMERON: Mine must be broken.

NICK: So, we’re gonna go around the table—

LAURA: Is that why there’s a crystal ball in the middle of the table, so we can astrally view our listener?

NICK: Well, that’s a d1, actually. You roll it if you need a number between one and one.

CAMERON: Hmm. Alright, cool.

HUDSON: The villain from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers left it.


NICK: So, moving on! We’re gonna go around the table and introduce everybody real quick, starting with Steven!



STEVEN: I’m Steven.

NICK: Hi Steven.

STEVEN: I play Sabos the Togruta. Sabos a Togruta? He’s not the only Togruta.

NICK: Good work. Moving on. Cameron!

CAMERON: [through giggles] Hi, I’m Cameron.

NICK: Hi Cameron.

CAMERON: I’m playing Karma the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Great. And, Hudson!

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson. I’m playing Tink, the Gigoran slicer who has the career skill of Technician.

NICK: See Steven, they remember specific facts about their character and relate them in a standard way.

STEVEN: Oh. … No, I don’t do that.

NICK: Yeah, obviously. And, Laura!

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: We got some experience last time we played, if you could just rattle off what you’ve spent any experience points on. We’ll start with Cameron.

CAMERON: So, for Karma, I bought a talent on my Assassin bounty hunter tree, Quickdraw. Once per round I can draw or holster a weapon or item as an incidental.


NICK: Does it have a limit on what kind of weapon?


NICK: So you could like draw a rocket launcher?

CAMERON: Sure. If I have one. I don’t currently, but…

NICK: Eh, I’ll get you one. Yeah, that’ll be fine.

CAMERON: Maybe we can fix that.

NICK: Let’s go to Steven.

STEVEN: Hi. I, Sabos, the Togruta fringer—

NICK: Hey! Good work.

STEVEN: Yay—spun, spent, did spend, spent, right? Spent 15 points on Rapid Recovery in my fringer tree which allows me, when healing strain after an encounter, to heal one additional strain per rank of Rapid Recovery.

NICK: Okay. So, continue to shoot Sabos. Duly noted.

LAURA: Got it.

CAMERON: Only with stun, though.

NICK: I’ll just—He’ll figure it out.

STEVEN: I haven’t got the crit one yet, sorry.

NICK: Okay. Laura.

LAURA: I am hoarding my points.

NICK: You have spent no points.

LAURA: I have spent no points.

NICK: Saving up for that shiny new talent.


NICK: Okay. Hudson, did you spend any experience points?

HUDSON: I’ve spent zero experience points this time, because I’m saving up for a shiny new talent on my talent tree.

NICK: Okay! How about the Destiny Roll!

CAMERON: Two light side.

STEVEN: Two light side.

LAURA: One light side.

HUDSON: One light side.

CAMERON: So we have six light side points!

NICK: Alright, so, we haven’t recorded in a while, just a peek behind the curtain. We’ve had some stuff happen and haven’t recorded in a while, worked our way through our back log, so we’re gonna give a little bit of a recap and make sure all of the players know what’s going on.

So, stepping back a couple of steps. You fled Unroola Dawn. You went to an asteroid and shot some people, and killed them, and then you went to Ithor, which is a planet with like hammerhead slow-talky guys. You landed on the planet, and you went and met the Ithorian Oracle, and gave them the Stone Breaker, further cementing your business relationship. You then went to the…

CAMERON: Gooberfish!

LAURA: The Gooberfish.

NICK: Yeah, The Gooberfish, one of the bars that is near the Oracle’s retreat, and you met with your contact. Karma is currently disguised as an Imperial something or other in a full cloak and robes, and it turned out that your contact was…

CAMERON: Felton Mox.

NICK: …was Felton Mox, a large otter of a guy with a beer belly. He’s a Selonian, and somebody who you may remember was your original bounty in Prologue 1. So, you talked to him a little bit. He was able to give you a small, gray plasteel box with something inside with instructions that it would help you to break the blockade, and he also informed you that he may or may not have lost another piece of the puzzle, the Rancore Protocol, and he tried very hard to convince you that you didn’t need him and that he was gonna go on his way and everything was good, but that’s about where we left off, you all grabbing him as he tried to leave and saying ‘no, we think we’ll hold onto you.’ You know that Kettle has the Rancore Protocol somewhere, and that she’s somewhere on the planet, and you know that Felton Mox is supposed to be your contact with local information who can help you, and you now have the little plasteel box with something in it.

Okay. We start our scene. You are standing in the late afternoon sun on the street of the Ithorian herdship, which is a giant floating city above a beautiful, pristine jungle way below. You can’t see it from where you are, but it’s there. You’re standing outside The Gooberfish. Tink has a big mitt on Felton Mox’s shoulder. He looks extremely uncomfortable, he’s sweating a little in the humidity and is trying to inch away from you, but he’s not going anywhere. You have just exited the bar, and it’s time to make a plan.

CAMERON: I forgot—I’m not talking.

HUDSON: Out of game real quick, would Felton know where Kettle is?

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: That was kind of my strategy was to tell him that [mumbled speech]

HUDSON: We should find an alley to rough him up.

NICK: Yeah, he knows where Kettle is.

HUDSON: Okay. Back in game.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: “So, you’re gonna tell us where Kettle is, right?”

NICK: “You don’t really… You’re not gonna go after her, are you? That seems like a really bad idea. I wouldn’t recommend that.”

HUDSON: “I don’t think I asked for your advice, friend.”

NICK: He pulls at the collar that he doesn’t have, and goes “ewwehheww” and looks at your giant vibro-axe, and says, “Duly noted. Uh, yeah. She’s at a gaming room at the edge of the herdship. I could show you, I guess, where she is. And then we’re done, right? I can leave after that.”

CAMERON: Karma shakes her hooded head ominously, in a ‘no…’

NICK: Getting a real ghost of Christmas future vibe.

LAURA: “Do not worry about them. They are fine.”

NICK: ‘Oh. Yeah… ‘kay. Yu know, it’s weird, you all seem kind of rough and tumble. It’s strange for you to be hanging out with a high profile Imperial agent. That’s not normal.”

CAMERON: Karma nods. (laughs)

LAURA: “It’s not normal, but it is just how we do things. It works.”

HUDSON: “You haven’t gotten to know me. I’m actually a very sensitive soul.”

NICK: “Yeah, I can feel that, from that—Hey, hey, I think you’re grinding my bones together. Can you lighten up a little bit?”

HUDSON: “Sorry.”

LAURA: “Yes, yes, please do not break the captives.”

HUDSON: “Yeah. I shouldn’t do that at all. I thought my fur would provide enough, you know, kind of filter, buffer.”

NICK: “Yeah, uh, business partners. Just wanna clarify, business partners. Not captive. Same team.” He gives an optimistic double thumbs up.

LAURA: “Well…”

STEVEN: “You don’t wanna know how I ended up with the fourth head tail.”

NICK: “You’re right, I don’t, because I imagine that is a story involving your conception.”

LAURA: Xianna does not handle this. “Wait. Okie. Have you always had it, or did you get it? How did you get it? And why is it a bad thing that you have it?”

STEVEN: I just point at the Imperialist, and be like, “Don’t mess with her.”

LAURA: “But what—Because the head tails symbolize virility…”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

LAURA: “…would it not be better to have more? Because some Twi’leks have a third one…”

STEVEN: “… Yes.”

LAURA: “…and you know, they are considered sexier.”

STEVEN: “… No.”

LAURA: “So is it yes or no?!”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

NICK: Someone’s been watching a lot of Senate hearings lately. (laughter)

STEVEN: “I try to be scary sounding with threats—Emperors, Emperor, Imperial!”

NICK: There it is!

LAURA: “I still do not understand what that has to do with your head tail.”

STEVEN: “I have head tails. Anyway, you’re gonna show us where Queen Kettle is.”

NICK: As you turn back to Felton, you can see he’s been slowly sidling. Tink’s arm is so long it’s just been stretching out towards an alley, but he hasn’t let go. He stops. “Okay. Fine. I’ll show you to the gaming room. It’s not that far. I guess I owe Sentinel enough that I can at least do that part of the job.” And you take off through the beautiful herdship.

The floating city is very nice. It looks almost organic in its construction. It’s very clean. You see not a ton of Ithorians, but all of the people you see pretty much are Ithorians. That tends to happen when there’s a blockade in orbit, but there’s not that many. Maybe you see a couple every block or so kind of walking around. It looks like there’s not a ton of population for the size of this city. As you continue you come to a dome that looks right on the edge of the herdship. There’s a low, waist-high wall that circles the edge of the city, and over that you can see the horizon, and a drop of like 8,000 feet, and then the jungle down below. You can see kind of the ebb and flow of trees but not necessarily like individual details. The dome doesn’t really have any features. The top third of it is all glass sky lights. The construction looks kind of similar to the pavilion that the orca? was staying in, just more permanent, and a revolving door, because I like those, so there’s one on this dome at the front. It is glass, but the glass gets opaque as it gets hit by the sunlight and starts to fade as it goes around, so you can’t see into the building, but you see it getting darker and lighter as it goes around. It’s very nifty.

Felton says, “Well, so that’s the gaming room. It’s just called the gaming room. It caters mostly to off-worlders, because the Ithorians aren’t really much for gambling. They’re a little more placid, honestly.” He looks at Tink and says, “Placid, not flaccid. Placid. It means calm, like you’re not being.”

HUDSON: “I know what it means.”

NICK: “Right. So, anyway. The gaming room’s right there, Kettle’s inside. I have guided you. Have a great day.”

STEVEN: “Why don’t you show us in?”

NICK: “Oh, you just walk through the doors. It’s not that complicated.”

LAURA: “No, you should come with us.”

CAMERON: The hood shakes no.

STEVEN: “I’m not familiar with these doors on my home planet. I think I need you to help.”

NICK: He seems so confused that he starts walking before he does anything, and is quickly at the doors and pushes through. Inside is, imagine a ritzy kind of casino look but it’s not that big, probably a couple thousand square feet, the size of a medium gymnasium. There are gaming tables around. I want everyone to provide one detail of this gaming room, this alien gambling den, starting with… whoever thinks of something first.

HUDSON: The trunk people are all playing baccarat.

NICK: (laughs) The trunk people?

HUDSON: I mean, that might be racist, I just don’t remember their real alien race name.

NICK: The trunk people are playing baccarat. It’s an alien—

HUDSON: They’re also drunk.

NICK: The drunk trunk people are playing baccarat, but it’s like space baccarat, so are there lasers involved, or…?

HUDSON: Yeah. It’s high stakes in like a life or death way, which you would never think of baccarat as being normally, but they’ve done it.


NICK: Okay. The back wall, you actually see that the dome protrudes over the edge of the herdship a little bit, and the baccarat table is over there, and they seem to be standing on little trap doors as they’re playing. Nothing comes from that, but those are there. That’s cool. Okay, what else?

STEVEN: So, it has like a fountain, except the fountain is a drink fountain, and the drink that comes out of it is Flame Out. It’s got a Flame Out fountain.

NICK: A fountain of Flame Out…

STEVEN: And it kind of sparkles and buzzes in the scary way.

NICK: Yeah. That sounds about right.

STEVEN: Slightly luminescent.

NICK: Eh. Sounds less and less appetizing.

LAURA: Sounds less and less like a Flame Out.

STEVEN: It’s flaming out.

NICK: It’s as though you can’t tell if the pipes can’t handle the alcohol content or if there’s a loose electric wire somewhere in the basin.

STEVEN: Right. They might be enhancing the look of the Flame Out fountain.

NICK: Yeah, and with a fountain of that particular type of drink, that means that the air has a spicy, minty smell just permeating the place. It starts nice. It gets old real fast.

LAURA: There’s a large Sabacc area, and all the little Sabacc machines are like gilded gold. They’re very pretty.


CAMERON: There’s a kickass chandelier that may or may not have aliens doing acrobatics on it in the center of the dome.

LAURA: It does.

CAMERON: I mean, it does.

NICK: What’s the name of the little rat guy from Jabba’s palace?

LAURA: Salacious B. Crumb? It’s not that.

NICK: There’s Salacious B. Crumbs wiggling around?

CAMERON: No. It’s not those. It’s not those, no. It’s like the Kushibans who are just doing flips and stuff in the chandeliers.

LAURA: Oh you—Xianna’s gonna get nothing done, you guys. (laughter) She’s just gonna be standing in the middle like, “Oh, there’s a chandelier. Look at that! Oh, look at them go!”

NICK: Okay, so yeah. The whole thing is lit very nicely.

HUDSON: And it is lit, like—

NICK: It is lit, 420.


LAURA: And as we walk in, Xianna looks at everyone else and goes, “Oh, by the way, does anyone have like a gambling problem? (snorts and laughter) That we should watch out?”

CAMERON: A little late.

NICK: Sabos is looking a little nervous right now.

STEVEN: “Uh, no. I like—No. I like the home world just fine. Everything’s fine.”

LAURA: “Kay… because I kind of do. So, watch out for me.” (giggling)

STEVEN: “I don’t escape the home world to gamble. No, I mean, eh. We’re fine.”

HUDSON: “My only problem is I’m not gambling. That’s my gambling problem. Just kidding, I don’t have a problem at all.”

NICK: Oh boy.

LAURA: “I will probably be fine. Don’t worry. I’m sure I will be fine.”

NICK: What thoughts are going through Karma’s head as everyone admits that this is a dangerous situation for them?

CAMERON: She’s just shaking her head. She’s far more comfortable here than she was on Unroola Dawn, because this is the type of scenario she’s used to being in when trying to track people down. She’s often in bars and casinos and stuff, because that’s where the type of people that she’s after normally hang out. And she feels far more elegant than everyone else, and like she fits in better because of the cloak.

NICK: So, the camera pans around to the jingling sound of holo-slot machines striking jackpots. There are several Sabacc tables with golden Sabacc projectors in the middle. They definitely are projecting HD cards, because you normally see in Star Wars holograms are kind of woobly and look like their bunny antenna had been out of wack. These are all very crisp. It looks like you could almost touch them, but they disappear as people play them.

While most of the players are some assorted races, there’s probably 20 or 30 people in here, all the dealers are Ithorian pretty much. So, the ones at the Sabacc tables, each table has two or three people, you know that up to seven can play but they tend to like to spread out. So, Sabacc is—For the people who don’t know Star Wars… (snooty)

LAURA: Mm-hmm… (snooty)

NICK: Sabacc is sort of a mix between Poker, Blackjack, and Yu-Gi-Oh, as far as I can tell.

LAURA: Good description, actually. That’s about right.


NICK: You can build your own deck. It’s got some math junk in it, but it’s mostly Blackjack except when it’s not, and the rules change depending on which extended universe book you read, but the professional Sabacc people like to play with about three, as they think that gives them the best odds. It’s sort of like when people go to Vegas and they try to count cards because they’ve read the book about counting cards and think that they’re very good at it. It’s just a rule of thumb, it doesn’t actually really do that much, but that’s why there’s so many tables is people like to play low. You can tell that a lot of the seats don’t get used that much because people also have favorite seats, and we’re getting too into Sabacc. I just think it’s interesting.

So, some of the Ithorian card dealers look up as you come in and look at you before dismissing. Some eyes definitely stay on Karma for a while, because she is the first Imperial that has set foot on the planet since the blockade started as far as they know, so that’s real weird. You can see they have some questions.

Everyone except for Karma is feeling pretty solidly buzzed from the drinks that they had at The Gooberfish. You all had several. Felton Mox stands in front of you. He kind of shakes Tink’s hand off his shoulder and gestures grandly to everyone. His fur ripples with the motion. He says, “So, this is it, I brought you in. That’s great, right? I’ll, uh, see you later,” and he turns to try and leave again.

LAURA: Xianna was like looking up in the chandelier and is like, “Oh, yes, we are doing something. No, you cannot go yet. No.”

CAMERON: Karma walks over to Felton and links her arm through his.

NICK: He shudders a little, and then he gets like a look on his face as you’re standing there arm in arm. “This… is a weird feeling of space deja vu right now, standing arm in arm with you. Have we met before?”

LAURA: “So anyways… (laughter) Um, yes. Uh, Kettle? That is who we are–?”

NICK: As you bring that up, you can see that there’s a separate Sabacc table in a roped in area kind of towards the far back. It’s on part of the transparasteel floor that overhangs the jungle, and it has a little Chadra-fan dealer running the table. For those of you who don’t know, a Chadra-fan is a little bat person that’s like three feet tall, and doesn’t have wings, and is super cute. You can see it in New Hope. It’s the one that gets its drink from the bar with two hands and makes a cute little squeaky noise.

He’s wearing a green vest with a leaf pattern on it, and has one of those little green visor dealer hats on. He looks kind of torn as he deals out the cards. So, he’s setting out one set of cards for a human that is sweating profusely. His dark hair is matted down to his face and he’s gripping each card like it’s the only thing in the galaxy. The other set of cards goes to a strange insectile-looking creature with their back to you. They’re covered in scars and their wings are tattered. If you make a Xenology check you might know what this thing is. Except for Sabos, Sabos recognizes this thing.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty on the Xenology check?

NICK: Hard.

HUDSON: I’ll let you guys handle this one.

CAMERON: Sure. It could happen.

LAURA: I mean, I’ll roll.

NICK: Also, while they’re rolling, you may notice that some of our dice noises changed. We got cool little dice cups because our dice pools were getting too big, so thanks Kickstarter.

LAURA: I got a failure.

CAMERON: Yeah, so Karma got two failures and two advantages.

NICK: Okay. Is there something you would like to spend the advantages on?

LAURA: Wait, Hudson, why don’t you make Xenology rolls? You have a four in Intellect.

CAMERON: You’re smart!

HUDSON: Oh! You’re right.

LAURA: You do way better. I only have a two.

CAMERON: I have a two! You’re way smarter than us.

HUDSON: And I get to use this new fun cup.

LAURA: Xianna’s cunning, but she’s not smart.

HUDSON: What’s that, two advantages?

STEVEN: Absolutely nothing.


NICK: Complete wash! Okay. None of you recognize what this particular species would be, but you do notice that Felton is staring pretty pointedly at that table, like that’s where you guys need to go. Sabos, you recognize that as Kettle most likely. You don’t see Geonosians every day, but that’s definitely one of them, and those are pretty rare.

STEVEN: I didn’t see her from the back, though.

NICK: No, but it’s like—


NICK: So, it’s a large, brown insectile creature. There’s not so many of those out there. What do you guys wanna do?

LAURA: “Okie, Tink, give me your credits.”

HUDSON: “Your—My what?”

LAURA: “Your credits! You know, your money.”

HUDSON: “Oh, credits. Oh, uh, wait all of it?”

LAURA: “Most of them.”

HUDSON: “Why?”

LAURA: “So I can go to the table.”

STEVEN: While they’re doing that, I just walk up to the table and say, “Hi Queen.”


LAURA: “Oh, never mind. It appears Sabos knows her.”

HUDSON: “Wait, don’t you have cred—Never mind.”

LAURA: “I have some, but I need more for the gambling. I do not know what the buy in is.” (laughing)

NICK: So we get this nice top-down shot of the Sabacc table and Kettle playing cards, and it angles over to Sabos who walks up and greets her, and in the background we see Xianna and Tink talking about credits and elbowing each other, and then they just stop and turn to look at the scene.

As you say ‘hi Queen,’ the Geonosian tosses down her cards and says, “Well, Mr. Alto, it looks like we’ll be in touch,” and he hangs his head and stands up from the table before walking away. The human looks very distraught and runs his hands through his hair. Whenever the Chadra-fan dealer looks at Kettle he smiles real big and looks really excited, but then he’ll look back at the human who’s slowly walking away and look like someone just stole his vest and looks very sad, and he kind of alternates back between being happy for Kettle and sad for the human.

So, Kettle sets her cards down and cracks her neck, which makes a really hollow popping noise. She looks up at you. “Ah, Councilman Sako. What a pleasant surprise.”

STEVEN: “Yes, it’s been… ages, it seems.”

NICK: “Yeah, it’s been about… three days, I think, at this point.”

STEVEN: “A lot happens in three days as you might know.”

NICK: “Really? You’ll have to tell me about that sometime.”

STEVEN: “Absolutely. So, you got through the blockade too, huh?”

NICK: “Oh, blockades are really more of a formality for someone like me.”

STEVEN: “(chuckles) I understand.”

NICK: “It turns out they are until you get down on the planet when they take it real seriously. Sometimes you get, well, inconvenienced.”

STEVEN: “I couldn’t imagine.”

NICK: “Yeah. It’s actually convenient that  you’re here. Maybe with your political clout, Councilman Sako…”

STEVEN: “That’s exactly how I got through the blockade.”

NICK: “Yeah, well, maybe you can help me get out of this particular situation.”

STEVEN: “I actually think we’re looking to have you help us get out of this situation as well, so this seems like a very mutualistic situation.”

NICK: “How fortuitous. You’ll have to introduce me to your friends.” She looks around to the rest of the group.

STEVEN: “Yes. Absolutely.”

LAURA: “Hello~!” Xianna waves at her.

CAMERON: Karma and Felton have floated over.

NICK: She nods to you regally.

HUDSON: I scrunch up and look suspicious.

CAMERON: Scrunch up what?

HUDSON: Body-wise.

CAMERON: Like, just your whole body? You just like shrink?

LAURA: Like your little face?

HUDSON: Like a slight tense up.

NICK: Kettle nods to you all, and sees Felton, and goes, “Felton, what are you trying to do bringing muscle on me? You lost fair and square, and it’s time for you to go do your part of the bargain,” and she looks very disinterested in him.

He says, “Well, look, hey—“

STEVEN: “Oh, he’s not here for muscle. He’s actually a very lovable creature.”

NICK: “Oh, well—“

STEVEN: I say pointing at Tink.

NICK: “Oh—Uh, yeah. I thought you were talking about me. That would’ve been…”

STEVEN: “Oh, no.”

NICK: “No. Obviously not, right? Uh, no, Kettle, I’m just here to introduce my new friends, uh, business associates. Really just some people I met in a bar. We’re not really associates… You’re right, I should probably go work on that thing—“

STEVEN: “Nope!”

NICK: “—that you told me to do…”

CAMERON: Karma does not let go of his arm.

NICK: “…but I can’t seem to be rid of them.” He smiles real big. “So, yeah. I guess we could play some cards, maybe, or go to a business room, or do something…” and Kettle just waits to see what you guys have to say.

STEVEN: Is there a VIP room available? Like, you know, big bets, away from listening crowds.

NICK: The Chadra-fan perks up and starts to look eagerly between you all, and Kettle says, “Well, this is basically the big bet area right here. You can tell from the velvet rope and the nice floor windows, but we don’t have those crazy trap doors.”

STEVEN: “I’m okay with that.”

NICK: The camera snaps over real quick to the baccarat table You see an Aqualish which is like a big walrus person go (roars) and then there’s a red buzzer noise, and the floor jiggles a little, and they all look real nervous but it doesn’t give away, and then the camera snaps back to you.


LAURA: “Oh no…”

STEVEN: “Cool.”

NICK: “Yeah. The designers of this game room really like the idea of high stakes, meaning more than just bigger numbers, but the Ithorians aren’t real big on raining gamblers down upon their sacred jungle, so it’s pretty rare. We have that mostly turned off.”

STEVEN: Well, uh, I invite my acquaintances to have a seat, and it feels kind of weird inviting the Imperial to have a seat because I would think the Imperial would invite us to have a seat, but I invite everyone to have a seat at the table with Kettle.

LAURA: Xianna sits pretty quickly.

NICK: Cool, so you all sit at the table. The Chadra-fan eagerly starts dealing out cards. Let’s say it’s 100 credits to get in on this.

STEVEN: (deep inhale) “Give me a sec…”

LAURA: (laughs) Sabos.

STEVEN: “Okay. I can play a game or two.”

NICK: So, it’s like 100 credits for playing through the scene, it’s not gonna be per hand.

STEVEN: Oh. I can play that.

CAMERON: Karma can’t.

NICK: Ouch. Are you gonna try to get credits from someone else to play with?

CAMERON: No, Karma’s just not playing.

NICK: Okay. You’re just gonna stand in the background?

CAMERON: Holding onto Felton. We’re just standing ominously to the side of the table.

HUDSON: I’ll play.

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna puts in credits.

NICK: Okay. You toss the credits in. A little mini mouse bot, probably like three or four inches long with what looks like a snow plow on the end, comes out and scoops your credits off into a slot and goes away, so it makes the little meepy droid noises, and then digital—except it’s Star Wars—so like analog displays pop up with your credit count, and the Chadra-fan starts to deal out cards.

Kettle says, “Oh, so your Imperial friend…” If she had eyebrows she’d be wiggling them. “You Imperial friend won’t be playing, and I know Felton can’t afford to play, but this is a friendly game. What brings you to my end of the herdship?” And you start playing cards.

STEVEN: I look at Xianna.

LAURA: I looked at Sabos, in this face of like, well he knows her, so… Also, I kind of forgot what we were doing. (laughter) Did you see the chandelier in here?!

STEVEN: I excuse myself for a second to go get some Flame Out, and I come back. “As you might know—”

NICK: Wait, wait, wait. You can’t describe something fun like that and then just move on.

STEVEN: (chuckles)

NICK: As you run over to the fountain the smell gets stronger.

STEVEN: It does.

NICK: Your eyes start to water a little bit.

STEVEN: It reminds me of home.

NICK: A green Twi’lek, she’s not very tall, she’s even a little shorter than Xianna, because Xianna’s what, 5’6”?, 5’?

LAURA: I am 1.71 meters.

NICK: What does that mean in English?


NICK: Okay. So, she’s shorter than Xianna. She’s probably about 5’ flat. She’s green, and she’s got a waitress outfit on, and she grabs a copper mug and scoops some out and takes a cloth to wipe the edge so that it’s dry. She tells you, “The high rollers don’t pay for drinks,” and she hands one to you.

STEVEN: “Oh. Thank you very kindly.”

NICK: So, you have your booze.


NICK: You head back to the–?

HUDSON: “Hey! Can you get me a–?”

STEVEN: “Flame Out?! Absolutely!” I get my Flame Out and just bring it to him, then I go back and ask if they have a bigger glass.

NICK: The Twi’lek cocks a tattooed eyebrow at you, because fun Star Wars fact: Twi’leks don’t have eyebrows but the females often tattoo them on to make people not freaked out about not having eyebrows, and gets two mugs and does the routine of scooping it out and shrugs.

STEVEN: I apologize and point at Tink, and then I think she understands. He is large.

NICK: She doesn’t really seem all that engaged.

STEVEN: Perfect.

NICK: Professionally polite is how I would describe her.

STEVEN: I take both mugs and keep them to myself as I sit down.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

HUDSON: Where’s my drink?

STEVEN: I gave you the original one.

NICK: He gave you the first one.

HUDSON: Oh, sorry.

STEVEN: I just got more of it.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Xianna, after watching this whole thing, you see her kind of put her hands on her hips and cock her head to the side in mild annoyance at the whole exchange, but she doesn’t do anything.


NICK: So, Kettle’s been holding cards this entire time. “So, are we playing or what?”

STEVEN: “Yes. I apologize, Queen. I play better with drinks.”

NICK: Alright. I want a gambling roll out of y’all.

CAMERON: Is that Skulduggery?

NICK: Yeah, I’d take Skullduggery.

STEVEN: Oh will you?

LAURA: Can do.

STEVEN: Will you take… yeah, well… Streetwise?


STEVEN: Uh… Negotiation?




STEVEN: Okay then.


CAMERON: Astrogation!

STEVEN: How about Astrogation? (laughs) So, just Skullduggery, huh? Okay.

HUDSON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Let’s do average.

LAURA: Sure.

HUDSON: Might I go first?

NICK: Yeah, go ahead.

HUDSON: Two successes and a threat.

STEVEN: I got a success, without Skulduggery. Hell yes.

LAURA: Ohhh!

HUDSON: Oh snap.

CAMERON: Oh shit!

LAURA: Ohhh snap! Okay, so it’s two triumphs that are not cancelled by anything, plus two more successes… Yes.

NICK: Two triumphs and two more successes?

CAMERON: Yes, so four successes total, and then also two triumphs.

NICK: Oh boy. Okay, and then if someone could roll me a hard check against just three greens, please.

CAMERON: A success.

STEVEN: Fall prone.

CAMERON: … No, they cancel.

STEVEN: Oh. I didn’t see that bottom one. Okay, yeah.

LAURA: Mm, fall out of the chair!

CAMERON: It was three threats, but it is also three advantages, so it’s just one success.

NICK: Okay. Thank you.

CAMERON: You’re welcome.

HUDSON: I start to get a little nervous because my hand was bad, so I drink my drink pretty fast.

NICK: Okay. You start pounding away on this drink. You guys have made some small talk, and after the first few hands Xianna makes an extremely aggressive bet and you all go for it, and Kettle has a very contemplative look on her face, and then she goes in on it too, and she just mops the floor with you. You have a Purple Conundrum, one of the best hands in Sabacc as far as anyone knows.

LAURA: Well, I build up a fake tell. I assume that’s what I do, is I probably hustle a little bit and I do a few hands where like, oh I twitched my eye a little bit so it makes it seem like when I do the high bet that I’m bluffing, and then I’m not.

NICK: Nice. Kettle nods with respect to you as your counter goes way up and everyone else’s goes down. Nobody’s out, but there is a definite disparity. That could be one of the triumphs. Is there something as far as outside the game you would like your other triumph to do for you?

CAMERON: (gasps) I have a thing that I was wanting to do…

LAURA: (whispered) What?

CAMERON: Okay. I was trying to figure out if I would do a Skulduggery or Stealth check to try and get my binders on Felton, because I have the ones that are individual bracelets and then I can do something to magnetize them and they go together, so I have one of his arms, but he’s very into the game now and doesn’t notice me do it.

NICK: Sure. Yeah. Are you binding him to you or just his hands together?

CAMERON: No. I’m just—He’s getting a bracelet that he can’t remove on both wrists.

NICK: Is that how you would like to spend your triumph, or do you want her to roll for it and you want yours for something else?

LAURA: No, so, we’ll do that, and what I want to happen is I can see her starting to get like the prep ready. I can see her surreptitiously pulling a binder down, and so then what I do is, I think I’m probably sitting next to Tink, and I spill his drink and make a big scene over it. “Oh no, Tink, I spilled your drink! … Oh, haha, that rhymed.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “I was gonna get another anyway.”

LAURA: “Oh no! We will get you a new one.” And I try to flag down the Twi’lek waitress from before.

STEVEN: I slide one of mine over.

LAURA: “No, we do not want Your drink. We want a New drink. I want that Twi’lek waitress. Hello~! We need some new drinks, and maybe a towel of some sort, or maybe a cleanup droid. Please?”

HUDSON: “Oh hey, hey, could you get me a Green Extermination?”

LAURA: “I do not know what that is. Also, you are all wet with the drink.”

HUDSON: “Things always dry on me.”

CAMERON: (laughs) Ew.

LAURA: I’m still flagging the waitress down.

NICK: Yeah. The waitress pointedly doesn’t make eye contact with Sabos. She flounces over. She’s got, I’m picturing like the beer maiden German waitress outfit on her, but space, so like a sticky-outie skirt, a very cleavagey top with straps that go aside the shoulders, and she comes over and leans down towards you and says, “What can I help you with?”

LAURA: “Hi. Well, first off, there was a drink that got spilled.”

NICK: “Oh yeah, I see that.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “You know, it always seems to happen to whoever loses the hardest. Isn’t that interesting?” She titters away behind her hand.

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “This whole thing’s a scam.”

LAURA: “No it is not. I just beat you.”

HUDSON: (growls)

LAURA: “He would like… He called it a Green Extermination. I do not even know if that is a real drink, but he wants one.”

NICK: “I think we can make that happen. Would you like anything?”

LAURA: “Yes. I would like a Starship Juice, please.”

NICK: “Starship Juice? Oh, that’s one of the specials of the house,” and she flounces away. If this was animated there would be little boingy noises as she goes. She’s much happier talking to you than she was to the others.

LAURA: Because I smile, and say thank you.

NICK: Yeah, and as she walks away she winks conspiratorially at you.

LAURA: No, she doesn’t wink. She Twi’lek winks.

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: Which is, she does a little lekku move that we know is our equivalent of a wink, because we can like somewhat use them to communicate.

NICK: Ooh, I like that a lot. Ooh! She also has the suits of Sabacc cards tattooed on her lekku.

CAMERON: Oh cool.

LAURA: Aww, yes.

NICK: That starts at her forehead and goes back, so those look very neat. You get distracted by that for a second. Yeah, so she goes away and gets a drink. While that’s all going on, Karma very quickly slips the binders onto Felton. He doesn’t notice, until she starts to go by and you can see him—

CAMERON: I didn’t magnetize them. I just have them on there so that if he tries to run I can make his hands jump together.

NICK: Okay, so he doesn’t notice at all, he just has heavier bracelets, which means he does slap her on the butt as she goes by, and the waitress turns around and in one fluid motion plants a fist into his solar plexus, which is a pretty satisfying thing because he’s kind of paunchy, and he doubles over groaning.

LAURA: “That is what you deserve.”

CAMERON: Karma laughs. She tries not to, but she can’t help it.

NICK: The Twi’lek waitress gives a lekku twitch that, I don’t know if Karma can read lekku, probably not.

LAURA: Probably not.

NICK: But she gives one that’s like the equivalent of the jaunty salute, and she keeps going. Felton, who’s head is down by his knees, you can tell he’s trying to breathe and having trouble. “I just—I’ve always had a thing for tentacles. (groans)”

LAURA: “Don’t we all.”

STEVEN: I turn around and look at him, like look at my head tails. (laughter)

CAMERON: The camera slows and does a slow motion shot of Sabos’s head tails flinging over, and it does like the star, slightly glittery…

LAURA: Oh! There’s absolutely the anime sparkle!


LAURA: And then like little roses appear on the corner of the screen as he stops.

CAMERON: Oh yeah. It’s gorgeous.

NICK: And then the camera snap cuts to Felton’s face twisted in pain and mesmerized disgust as he stares at Sabos, and then we get back to the game.

STEVEN: I turn back around and try to hit him with the head tail as I turn back.

NICK: He’s like 20 feet from you.

STEVEN: I try. It doesn’t work.

NICK: Okay. They fling out. The Chadra-fan is practically vibrating. The thing about being a Sabacc dealer is you don’t actually touch cards because it’s all holographic, so you’re mostly just touching a keypad and then working as the craps dealer kind of announcer of ‘this is here’ and ‘you were worth 20 points, hooray,’ but he doesn’t really talk, he just squeaks a little. Everyone seems to be having a good time. Nobody’s out. When he looks at Tink he looks a little anxious like he wants you to be happier but he can’t figure out how. The Chadra-fan presses some buttons and starts to deal a new hand, and Kettle as she’s picking up her cards kind of looks sidelong at Xianna and says, “That was some fine playing there. You seem to have some experience.”

LAURA: “Oh, you know. I play cards here and there.”

NICK: “Yes, clearly. So, you’ve come to the gaming table, currently wiping the floor with me, and normally this is about the point where someone says what exactly they want. I don’t normally get approached just for fun and games. If you’re with Felton you probably need something. He rarely has anything to give. He’s more of a taker, that guy.”

STEVEN: “That makes sense.”

NICK: “So what are you here for?”

STEVEN: “So, you know the blockade exists…”

NICK: “Mm-hmm.”

STEVEN: “…and it might not be the…” I look behind me and see the Imperial and talk quieter. “…might not be the best thing for the planet.”

LAURA: She’s at the table.

CAMERON: I’m standing like right behind you.

STEVEN: I’d say it anyway.

NICK: No, I said you were like ten feet back.

CAMERON: Oh, okay. I didn’t realize I was that far away.

NICK: If you’re not playing you have to be outside the ropes.

CAMERON: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Okay. So you’re probably like right at the ropes, so we could talk to you, but if we whisper you won’t necessarily hear it.

NICK: Plus, that lets you be a little more imposing, because you get to be like mysterious in the distance. Yeah, so.

STEVEN: Anyway. “So, you know, it might not be the best thing for the planet here, and I understand you might have a device, the Rancore Protocol, or an object that might help us defeat the blockade.”

NICK: At that, Kettle nods to herself. “Ah.”

STEVEN: “Well, Felton was supposed to have it, we understand.”

NICK: “Yes, he was, wasn’t he.”

STEVEN: “But he is a little bit, uh, loose-fisted.”

CAMERON: “Useless.” You hear from the other side of the rope. (laughs)

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: Kettle stops and cranks all the way around to look behind her. She’s in the middle seat, so she cranks all the way around to look at you, makes eye contact with Felton who’s finally starting to straighten up a little, and goes, “Yeah, useless,” and turns back. “This is making a lot more sense. It’s interesting…” and she’s fiddling with the cards in her hand. The Chadra-fan is waiting for people to start making their moves. “It’s interesting how many things from Coronet City are ending up coming full circle, isn’t it?” And, if I could get another Skulduggery roll from everyone as they play another hand.

LAURA: Can do.

STEVEN: Sure. Average or hard?

CAMERON: Average?

NICK: Yeah, let’s just do average. It’s more of a competition thing.

STEVEN: Alrighty. I get two successes and a threat.

LAURA: So, two failures, but three advantages.


LAURA: Yeah. I rolled the worst you absolutely could on these dice. It wasn’t…

NICK: Yep.

CAMERON: Kettle has one success.

HUDSON: One failure, two advantages.

NICK: Is there anything you all would specifically like your advantages to get used on? The way we’re doing this gambling mini-game, obviously successes and failures are how well you’re doing. You can either use your advantages to manipulate something in the room, do something outside the game, or they can count towards what your Sabacc total winnings are going to be, but they don’t do very much compared to successes. So, if you have advantages, now would be the time to say if there’s something you wanna spend them on.

LAURA: Could I spend mine to where I’m not winning anything, but I’m kind of folding because I know my cards aren’t right, so I’m losing a little bit of money, but I want to try to set myself up a little bit better so I can just have like a blue die on my next roll.

NICK: Yeah. That’s what I was gonna—(goofy) So, mechanically!

LAURA: (goofy) So, mechanically! Can I get a blue die, please?

NICK: Yeah. You can have a blue die on your next roll.

HUDSON: Can I do that as well when I’m playing my hand so that I can maybe do a little better?

NICK: You only have two advantages.

HUDSON: Ah, that’s true.

NICK: Hell. Okay. You get one blue die. Xianna can have two blue dice.


LAURA: Ooh-hoo.

NICK: So, you all do the Botanelli’s Sabacc defense and set up for a later hand. … It’s Sabacc. I can make up whatever the heck I want.

HUDSON: We count Sabaccs.

NICK: Four Sabaccs make a trick.

LAURA: Five Sabacc. They’re not plural.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. So, the cards lay down, and Sabos actually comes out with the win. Tink and Xianna do very poorly, but yeah, they’re playing defensively, whatever that means in cards.

STEVEN: “I’ve never gambled before, guys.”

HUDSON: (groans)


STEVEN: But I say it in a way where you’re pretty darn sure I’m serious.

LAURA: “I actually have no idea if that is true or not. No idea.”

NICK: Kettle is playing really consistently. She’s not losing much money, but she is very clearly evaluating you all, more than she’s focused on her own hand. Sabos makes a pleasant win. He is still in the negative because everybody lost so much money to Xianna on that first hand, but you’re no longer worried about getting knocked out of the running, as it goes. You win. Your analog counter goes up. I’m picturing like old alarm clocks with like the flippy cards. There’s one of those set in the table in front of you and it changes. Extremely 70’s. The little mouse droid that collected your credits does a little victory lap and does a little (small trumpet noise), and then goes back into a little baby garage set into the wall of the table for the mouse droid.

Kettle looks at you and says, “Well, Councilman Sako, that was particularly impressive.”

HUDSON: “Who?”


LAURA: “Tink. Our friend, you know, Sako.”

HUDSON: “Yeah…”

LAURA: She nudges Tink a little bit under the table.

STEVEN: I just, I look at Kettle and say, “It’s a hard word to pronounce in their language, I think.”

NICK: “What, Basic?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

LAURA: “Well, no. You see, he speaks Gigoran, but the translator turns it into Basic, and sometimes it has difficulty with some words.”

STEVEN: “—says Sa-ko, sits, harded… Sako.”

NICK: “Oh, so you weren’t referring to the fact that his name is actually Sabos, and that he was impersonating someone when I dealt with him originally.”

LAURA: “Oh! You know that? Okie, then never mind. Yes, we know that.” (laughs)

STEVEN: “Well, of course she knows that.”

LAURA: “We are just confused, because he doesn’t seem to know which one he actually is, so it’s… you know, confusing.”

NICK: “This is interesting data. So, Sabos, which one do you think you are?”

STEVEN: (deep inhale) “I… Well, most recently I was… Well… I don’t know.”

LAURA: ‘He has gotten too far into the con! He does not know who he is anymore!”

STEVEN: “Because most recently I was actually some Imperial officer that got me through the blockade, so I’m actually pretty darn confused what I am right now.”

NICK: “Duly noted. You know, I’ve worked with some front men before who have had similar issues. It’s an interesting choice in crew leader, (snickering) but if that’s the way you choose to do business, that makes sense.”

HUDSON: “Where’s my kriffin’ drink?”

NICK: As you say that, the Twi’lek woman comes back and sets your Green Extermination in front of you. It’s a very large glass. That’s the only descriptor I’m gonna take, you can take the rest, but it’s a very large glass, and the table actually pops a little side table out so that you have somewhere to set it because the lip of the table isn’t big enough. She sets it down with one hand. She’s a very good waitress, because this is a big thing, she takes it off, loses no balance with anything, keeps the other more normally sized glass. She sets your Starship Juice in the set coaster and she brushes against you a little as she does it. She looks at you and says, “Oh, well I hope you’re doing well.”

LAURA: “Oh yes. Thank you.” I tip her. What is an appropriate tip for this place? What have I seen people tipping?

NICK: So, are you going for an appropriate but generous amount, or like an obscene amount?

LAURA: I’m going for a flirtatious amount. Whatever a flirtatious tip is—So, more than normal, not like crazy extravagant, so I guess our equivalent of like a 40% tip. I don’t know if 20 is the normal Star Wars amount.

STEVEN: A flirtatious tip is like 80-100%.


NICK: Oh, no…

LAURA: No no no. (laughter) Having waited tables, it’s just a bunch of business dudes…

STEVEN: It’s an old dude? Yeah.

LAURA: ……who like, have the company card and just know they can and are feeling generous.

NICK: It’s probably like 30 credits. That’s a solid amount.

LAURA: Yeah. I tip her 30 credits.

STEVEN: That’s a big tip. The buy-in at the table was 100, at the higher roller table?

NICK: We’re using the 100 for that. The table is less of a high rolling table and more of an exclusive table. It’s also because if I set it at actual high roller numbers you guys wouldn’t have been able to play.

STEVEN: Eh, maybe a hand.


LAURA: That’s why I asked for Tink’s money.

NICK: Also, Xianna is still sitting on a lot, so I imagine you’re paying out of your winnings.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Like, flipping her some—I guess it wouldn’t be chips. You press a little indicator on your flip board of numbers and it goes down 30, and her tray beeps at her. She looks and she goes, “Oh, well thank you. Is there anything else I can get you?”

LAURA: “Uh, no thank you.”

NICK: She does a little secret lekku move, that—


NICK: –means whatever you want it to mean.

LAURA: (giggles) Xianna smiles at her.

NICK: And she bounces away. Do any of the rest of you notice this whole thing going on?

HUDSON: I’m just happy that I got my drink. I mean, she brought it over, right?

NICK: Yeah. You have your own special extra-large coaster for your very large drink.

HUDSON: I don’t tip. I just tell her that the tip was included with hers.

NICK: She looks at you, rolls her eyes, and just moves on. She’s in a good enough mood now that most people’s hijinks aren’t gonna get to her. So, describe your beverages!

HUDSON: I’m drinking a Green Extermination, which is a green, cinnamon flavored drink with some red ice cubes in it, and in addition some red floating what looks like little candies.

NICK: Huh. Sounds interesting. Xianna, what is your beverage?

LAURA: Oh, well I ordered the Starship Juice. It is very strong, but also very fruity, and since it’s a tiki drink it almost certainly comes in a cutesy little carved tiki glass. It looks like—Ooh! So it’s carved to look like a little loth-cat, and it has an umbrella on the top, and a colorful straw.

CAMERON: It’s a loopy straw.


NICK: A Luby’s straw?



CAMERON: It’s a straw that has loops in it.

NICK: I was gonna say, last time I went to Luby’s the straws were not that special.

LAURA: No, it has at least two loops in it.

HUDSON: That’s usually called a curly straw, right?

CAMERON: Probably.

LAURA: Or curly straw, yes.

HUDSON: No. Crazy straw! Crazy straws!

CAMERON: Crazy straws! There you go. It’s got a crazy straw.

LAURA: It’s got a pink umbrella. It’s pink.

NICK: That’s the important part.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Okay. Your waitress friend has left. “So, the Rancore Protocol…” Kettle says, as the table starts to reset. The way the game has been going, you’ve played several hands, you’re not rolling for every hand, but there’s probably one more big climactic hand coming. “It’s an interesting piece of technology. I have no real use for it. It turns out, I’ve had it analyzed, and it’s still encrypted. If I could get it back to Coronet I think I could probably have someone break it up, but here on Ithor my resources are a little more limited than I would like. Wonderful people, the Ithorians,” she says, as an Ithorian in a pit boss kind of sequenty blazer and pants walks by, and he slowly nods his big hammer head and then continues on, “but not necessarily the most technological. They value nature a little too much. So, I might be able to part with it. You would just have to make it worth my time. It is a resource. I did win it.”

HUDSON: “Why don’t you bet it on this game?”

NICK: “Wow. I hadn’t really thought of that. I was going to charge 20,000 credits for it… but maybe we could make that happen. We won’t even bet it on this game, we’ll bet it on this last hand. Now, you’re gonna need a bigger ante, though.”

STEVEN: “How about if we make it more interesting with say, an Imperial code cylinder?”

CAMERON: (laughing) The hood head tilts.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s head tilts, like ‘What…?’

CAMERON: And then like, the head considers it.

NICK: “I mean, it would really—Do you have it with you? I’d love to see it.”

CAMERON: I do have it on me.

LAURA: “I think so. I mean, we will bet it.”

NICK: She turns around and looks at the cloaked figure of Karma and just imperiously gestures, and does the ‘give me’ hand sign. “I’m not going to take it. I just need to see what level it is.”

STEVEN: “Oh, it’s a… Sure.”

LAURA: “It is a code cylinder.”

STEVEN: “It’s the… it’s the best.”

NICK: This is the one you all already modified, right?

STEVEN: It’s the bigly-est code cylinder.

CAMERON: Uh, we didn’t modify it.

STEVEN: Yeah we did.

NICK: Didn’t you use that to get through the blockade? You used it as part of your passcode?

CAMERON: Oh yeah.

STEVEN: Yeah. It’s a very important intelligence officer code cylinder now.

LAURA: Now it’s pretty important.

CAMERON: It is now, actually. Yeah. It has very high clearance.

NICK: So, do you hand it over?

CAMERON: Yeah. I take it out of my jacket and hand it over.

NICK: So, it’s a cylinder.


NICK: The fun thing is this one’s obviously been bootlegged a little bit. There are some wires sticking out of one end that are crossed over to the other, and the casing is not sealed all the way. It’s like when somebody tries to play with an iPhone and doesn’t open it right, and it mostly goes back together but not all the way. She’s looking at it, and she goes, “Oh, okay. It’s a petty officer cylinder that is actually very important now. Interesting. Yes, that would definitely take some off the ante. I’d take that into account. The only thing about it would be, I’d also want to know who made this, because I may have some more work for them later on.”

HUDSON: “Do you think it’s a good job?”

NICK: “Yeah, actually. It’s good work. There are some things we could do about the cosmetics of it, but once we have that underway I think we could use this to make a pretty lucrative business.”

HUDSON: I look happy, but I’ve also been drinking, so I look a little glazed eyed, and I say, “You’re not part of the conspiracy, are you?”

NICK: She looks at you very seriously and leans forward. The Chadra-fan also leans in. his ears are all perked up.

LAURA: We all lean in.

NICK: She goes, “It depends on the conspiracy, but not the one you’re thinking of.”

HUDSON: “Good.”

NICK: Yeah. She nods to you self-assuredly.

HUDSON: “Okay. Just, right now, things are just everywhere, man. I, they’re all watching us, and we’re all just asleep. None of us are awoken…”

LAURA: “Tink, Tink… Are you on drugs, or do you need to be on drugs?”

STEVEN: “I think his translator is malfunctioning.”

HUDSON: “No, no. I’m as clear-minded as I’ve ever been.”

LAURA: “Are you sure?”

HUDSON: I take another giant drink. “I just, just need some assurance right now, guys.”

NICK: Kettle sits back in her chair. At this point you all have your cards for this last hand, because for whatever reason they’ve been dealt out before you finished deciding what you’re betting, but whatever. She nods and says, “Green Exterminations will do that to you.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “Yeah. I’ll take the code cylinder, probably another 1,000 credits. That seems like a fair trade for a piece of code I can’t use right now.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

STEVEN: “And, winner takes all.”

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: Yeah. That’s how betting works.

NICK: She pulls out a computer spike. It looks like a talon, it’s curved which is weird, and it has a lot of exposed circuitry on it. Tink, you would recognize this as the spike that you used to collect the Rancore Protocol a few days ago. She tosses it into the middle, and she also places the code cylinder, and you all I guess pool your credits and put them in the middle so it adds up to 1,000, and then the mouse droid comes out and hits the pile of things and just goes (small struggle noise), because it’s too much stuff and it’s too heavy for it, so it’s wheels start spinning and you can see it put little tiny divots in the felt of the table. The Chadra-fan looks real concerned and scoops up the mouse droid and the bets and helps it get back to its little garage.


NICK: It like shakes its head nurturingly. It likes its mouse droid. Then, the hand is dealt, and you all play your final shot.

HUDSON: Who has the best dice?

LAURA: I am rolling two yellow, two green, two blue, and I think I’m gonna—

HUDSON: And we’re gonna flip a point.

CAMERON: Flip a light side, Laura.

HUDSON: Yeah. That’s what I was gonna suggest.

LAURA: So now I’m at three yellow, one green, two blue.

HUDSON: We roll Skulduggery when we gamble?

NICK: Mm-hmm, against average.

STEVEN: I’ll just roll for the fuck of it. Oh, cool. I’m gonna lose.

LAURA: So that is three successes, and (counts) seven advantages!

NICK: Gee whiz.

STEVEN: I just got an advantage.

HUDSON: Um, I have an advantage.


LAURA: Eh, you tried.

NICK: That’s it?

STEVEN: Oh fuck.

CAMERON: Uh, Kettle got five successes and a threat.

NICK: Yes! Ha ha!

CAMERON: I’m sorry guys. I rolled good that time.

HUDSON: Ooh. We can just take it and run.

NICK: No. it’s in the little garage.

HUDSON: Oh, it is.

NICK: It’s almost as if I thought that might happen. So, what happens is, you all start laying down cards, because Sabacc is actually—you don’t just necessarily lay down a hand, you start anteing each other. Immediately Tink and Sabos play cards that cancel each other out and they’re just out. There’s nothing you can do. You did The Fool’s Gambit. You can make you lose in three parsecs. Star Wars.

LAURA: Ha ha.

NICK: Kettle and Xianna start playing back and forth very quickly, and I think you end up tying. I’m assuming you would use your advantages to try and win the bet.

LAURA: Yes. I would use all seven of my advantages.

NICK: So, yeah. You end up having the exact same hand for some reason. The interesting thing is that the cards that you have, there’s only one in the deck, so somebody’s been cheating but it’s not sure who because the cards are identical. The Chadra-fan looks confused, and then starts to go to press a security button, and Kettle says, “No, no, it’s okay. We’re gonna do one more, but if you lose I’m gonna need a special favor as well.”

LAURA: “Mm, what kind of special favor are we talking about?”

HUDSON: (whispered) It’s sexual.

NICK: No it’s not.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Well, it might be. You don’t know. Don’t judge. “A special favor like a business favor, you know.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: “Something that might take advantage of your talents. You never know.”

HUDSON: “She loves my talents.”

NICK: We’re gonna do one more, but flip a dark side point because Kettle’s gonna get an upgrade. You can still have one blue die Xianna

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: As the cards are starting to deal the Chadra-fan looks real embarrassed and motions for Sabos and Tink to leave the area because they’re out of the game at this point, so you guys have to go an stand outside the velvet rope because you lost. What Kettle does is pulls out a little piece of flimsy and writes a little IOU on it and signs it and puts it in the middle, and hands you a piece of flimsy to do the same thing, Xianna.

LAURA: I definitely write like a little IOU, and I make like a little heart at the end. Or! I don’t remember what the aurubesh letters are for IOU, but I feel like one of them can be turned into like a little heart. That’s definitely how Xianna writes stuff.

NICK: Great. As you’re writing that up the waitress comes back with just a glass of water and puts it next to you. Roll me a Skulduggery check, please. This one’s easy.

LAURA: Three successes.

NICK: Yeah. She hands the glass of water and her hand brushes against yours. You feel the tell-tale nudge of an Alderanian palm sleight of hand technique, and as she pulls her hand back she winks at you one more time and there’s a clone card, which is how you cheat at Sabacc.

LAURA: Yeah!

NICK: It’s a card that’s basically a wild that you’re not allowed to use and can get your ass shot if you use one.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughs)

NICK: So, you get a blue die to your roll because your waitress friend has helped you out. That’s what the blue die was.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: She backs up real quickly, and Kettle is looking at her own cards and does not notice.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: Yeah, so, go ahead and roll one more time. Did you upgrade Kettle’s?


NICK: Cool.

CAMERON: Kettle got one success.

LAURA: Um, a triumph with its success, another success, and one threat.

NICK: Okay. You win pretty handily. The threat is, you feel like there were some moves that Kettle could’ve done that looked like really obvious newbie mistakes that would have made it a lot closer, that she made that make you start to feel like maybe this was on purpose.

LAURA: Oh no.

NICK: But yeah. The whole big pile, the little garage door on the table opens up, and you just hear a little high pitched machine whining as if little tires are pushing against this big pile of stuff, and the Chadra-fan looks embarrassed and pulls like a craps hook and pulls the stuff out towards you on the table while the mouse droid bumps against the craps hook trying to push the stuff towards you.


NICK: You end up with 1,000 credits, that’s just your winnings. Whatever you have now is 1,000. Sabos and Tink, you get the 1,000 part of the money back, so you didn’t lose that ante. You get that back. Out of the hundred that you guys anted, Tink gets 10 credits, Sabos gets 15. You guys didn’t do great at cards. Out of the 100 you anted you get that amount back. Xianna’s in the money, apparently, so that’s cool. You also get the Rancore Protocol, your code cylinder back, and you get a little piece of flimsy that says IOU signed by Kettle.

CAMERON: I’m gonna grab the cylinder again.

NICK: Kettle sits back and goes, “Wow. It looks like now I owe you a favor.” And that’s where we’re gonna end the episode.

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 9 The Wonderful Oracle of Ithor- Tabletop Squadron

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 9:
The Wonderful Oracle of Ithor

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – When voicing Ithorians, Nick uses an incredibly low, deep, drawn out voice and often pauses in the middle of sentences.

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Not a lot of announcements this week, but I would be remised if I didn’t mention that we’re pretty close to our next review goal. If you write us a review, even a short one, you can help new listeners find the show. When we get to 20 reviews we’ll release a flashback with Karma’s family. It’s a fun adventure, and we’ll release it on off-week so you’ll get double the Tabletop Squadron.

Thanks for reviewing, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy.


NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 9 of Tabletop Squadron! I am your host, Nick. I just realized I probably didn’t introduce myself in the last episode, but oh well. I’m Nick. You’re on Episode 9, you should know it by now. We’re gonna go around the table, and also things that you know, we’re going to introduce you to the people that are playing and their characters. We’re gonna start with… Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I’m Cameron. I’m playing Karma Nailo the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Great. Good work. Now we’re gonna go to… Steven.

STEVEN: Hi podcasty friends. I’m Steven. I’m playing Sabos the Togruta who isn’t dead.

NICK: Fantastic, and now we’re gonna go to… Hudson.

HUDSON: Oh hi. I’m Hudson. I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer. (dramatically)


STEVEN: Slicey, slicey.

NICK: And, last but not least, we’ve got… Laura.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Great.


NICK: Sweet! Before we get started, let’s do the Destiny Roll!

LAURA: Two light side!


HUDSON: One dark side.

NICK: Listeners at home, please keep track of how many times Hudson’s rolled dark side, because I’m pretty sure it’s most of it.

HUDSON: Most of it times.

CAMERON: Two light side!

STEVEN: One dark side.

CAMERON: A few episodes ago Hudson and Laura rolled light sides and me and Steven rolled dark sides.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: There was like five or six.

NICK: I didn’t say every time.

CAMERON: I know, I’m just saying there’s at least one recorded incident of him rolling a light side.

LAURA: We’re just saying your theory is bad and you should feel bad.

NICK: Okay great, thank you for that wonderful and constructive feedback, Laura. I appreciate it.


STEVEN: It wasn’t Laura, it was the Mask.

NICK: Alright. What does that bring our total score to?

CAMERON: Four light side, two dark side.

NICK: Awesome. Alright. When we last left off you were in space. You were going to deliver an item to the Oracle of the Ithorian people. They unfortunately are surrounded by a blockade, so you’re gonna have to deal with that. We are going to open on the ship coming out of hyperspace. We have a nice starry scene, and then the (whooshing noises) as the ship drops out and is there, and then the camera jumps into the cockpit where… Who is flying right now?

LAURA & CAMERON: Probably Karma.

NICK: Yeah. So, it drops to Karma flipping a bunch of switches. Ahead of you, you see the planet of Ithor which is a very beautiful, green planet. It has two small oceans on it, but a majority of it appears to be lush jungle and verdant life. In between you and that planet is a very large Imperial fleet. There are four Star Destroyers and one Super Star Destroyer. How can you tell there’s a Super Star Destroyer, you ask? Because it’s twice as big as a normal, already ridiculously large Star Destroyer. It’s a very big ship. They’re arranged around the planet in a geometric pattern. Basically any way that you would leave they’ve got a clear shot. Yeah, so as you pull out of hyperspace you have a couple of minutes as you pull closer to the ship. Is there anything last minute you all want to do?

CAMERON: “Alright. Plan wise… I think Xianna should be the one who talks.”

LAURA: “Um, but…”

HUDSON: “I’ve been working on my cockney accent.”

STEVEN: “Is Xianna George?”

LAURA: “Yes, uh, so Sabos was actually right, um… I am not a man.”

CAMERON: “No, like, he has an earpiece, I assume. You have a com, right?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. You can talk into his com. He says the words, but you come up with the lies.”

LAURA: “Oh. Okie, I will make the lies. You just—Okay Sabos, I will say things and you just have to repeat them.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I don’t need lies. I’m an ambassador.”

LAURA: “No, you see, but—“

CAMERON: “No no no, you’re not anymore.”

LAURA: “We are not an ambassador. We are Petty Naval Officer… What was the—“

STEVEN: “Petty Navy Officer George Jetson.”

CAMERON: “George Jetson.” (laughs)

LAURA: “No, we are Petty Navy Officer George Jetson.”

STEVEN: “Representing Ambassador Sabos Niks, I got it.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “No, no, no no no.”

LAURA: “You see, also, we figured out you are wanted. Not that much—

STEVEN: “Ohh.”

LAURA: “But enough to where maybe Sabos Niks, whatever your name is, would come up in their records.”


LAURA: “It’s kind of like, you know how I don’t use my name when we are out and about?”

CAMERON: “Yeah, don’t say your name.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see, so I’m George Jetson.”


LAURA: “You Are George Jetson, yes.”

STEVEN: “Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes, and I will be your mind, and I will tell you what to say, with your mouth. Okie?”

STEVEN: “This will be fine.”

NICK: If nobody says ‘Meet George Jetson’ I’m gonna get so mad.

STEVEN: I know. (laughs)

NICK: His boy, Elroy.


HUDSON: Jane, his wife!


CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, so we just set up the com, and I—

NICK: You put an earpiece in so you can coach him through it?

LAURA: Yeah, and I just like sit in a different room. No, I’m probably just still sitting in the hot tub.

NICK: (laughs) Xianna has a favorite part of the ship.

LAURA: The hot tub… is great.

STEVEN: Are you Naut—No, not Nautolan. Are you a water creature? Or are you just all wrinkly by now?

LAURA: … I get out, for periods of time.

STEVEN: Oh, okay. She hasn’t just been sitting in the hot tub.

CAMERON: We’ve been traveling for like three days. She hasn’t been in the hot tub the entire time. (laughs)

LAURA: “I have not been in here for three days!”

STEVEN: “I’d imagine you could deal with that.”

CAMERON: “I could deal with that, yeah.”

LAURA: “I cannot. Ryloth is a desert.”

CAMERON: “I’ve been taking naps in the hot tub.”

LAURA: “That is why this is so much fun. There is not a lot of water on Ryloth. Mostly sand.”

STEVEN: “Do Nautolans breathe water?”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Oh, so you could just take a nap under the water.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, that’s what I was saying.”

STEVEN: “Oh, okay. Of course.” (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, you don’t want to be underneath the water in a hot tub. It’s very hot.”

CAMERON: “No, it’s fine.”

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: I actually don’t know how hot the water is…

STEVEN: Yeah. Was it even heated, or was it luke warm?

LAURA: No, I meant it as a hot hot tub, I just don’t know how hot the oceans are for Nautolans.

NICK: Okay. Time out.

CAMERON: I think the Glee Anselm’s land masses are tropical, so I would assume that parts of the oceans would be warm. I don’t know how deep in the oceans the Nautolans hang out, though.

NICK: They’re all over the place.

LAURA: Yeah, but like a warm ocean is still not 110 degrees Fahrenheit.

CAMERON: Yeah, still not quite hot tub. But it’s fine, it’s just a little warm.

NICK: I would imagine that a hot tub situation for a Nautolan is like a dry sauna situation for a human.

CAMERON: Yeah. We used to go to the volcanic jets all the time to… warm, ourselves, I don’t know. (giggles) It was the nifty place to hang out!

LAURA: All warm and bubbly. Nature’s Jacuzzi.

STEVEN: Because you’re cold blooded.

CAMERON: I don’t think we’re—No, we’re not cold blooded. No. I’m green, but I’m not a lizard.

NICK: Karma’s thinking about, ‘Why Did we go there?’

LAURA: To make out!

CAMERON: Yeah. It was the Hot place to be.

(groans and booing)

CAMERON: Ha ha ha.


NICK: Alright. You were drifting towards the planet under sub light drives. You get hailed.

CAMERON: I accept the hail.

NICK: Yeah. Good. A hologram, a little one in the middle of the dashboard pops up, it’s basically from the chest up. You see an older gentleman wearing this stupid navy hat that looks kind of like a sideways Burger King serving hat, and Imperial uniform obviously. He says, “This is The Vengeance paging Unknown Ship. What is your purpose here?”

LAURA: “Okie Sabos, tell them that you are a naval officer, that you are on personal leave, and you are reporting back on the planet surface for duty.”

STEVEN: “I am Petty Officer George Jetson, on personal leave, reporting back to the surface for duty.”

NICK: “Oh, wonderful. You’ll have to send your credentials over right away. We’re under a barricade as you can see.”

STEVEN: “I recall that as I left the surface of the planet on personal leave.”


NICK: “Good. You have passed the first test. This blockade has been here for months. It would be very strange if you did not know about it. Please send over your credentials now.”

STEVEN: “Sending now.” I make typing noises.

CAMERON: I hit the button that sends it.

NICK: There is an interminable pause of a couple minutes. The hologram turns off.

LAURA: “Well, they are not shooting us yet.”

NICK: Yeah, and you’re drifting closer. You can see that the ship’s guns are tracking you which is very intimidating because there are tons of them on the Super Star Destroyer which is the closest thing to you, and there’s also two other Star Destroyers in range, and your ship is quite small compared to these that are city sized. The hologram clicks back on. “Well, it’s an older code, but it checks out. What did you say your purpose was on entering the planet?”

STEVEN: “Reporting back to the surface for Imperial duty activities, sir, officer.”

NICK: “That’s very strange, because we don’t have a presence on the planet. We are staying on the—“

STEVEN: “Not that you know about.”

LAURA: (quietly) “Nope…”

CAMERON: (bursts out laughing)

NICK: “Are you implying that an Imperial Communications Officer on this Super Star Destroyer of Vengeance would not know where everyone is located?”

LAURA: While he’s saying that I’m like, “No no, tell them you are working with the ISB.”

STEVEN: “I’m sorry. I was doing activities with the IS… ISB. It’s been a long—It’s been a nice personal break.”

NICK: “Hmm… If you were with the ISB you’d be in the database. Stand by.” And the hologram turns off again.

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

LAURA: “Okie, so…”

STEVEN: “So, uh, slicer slicy slicy.”


HUDSON: I run over to the computer.

STEVEN: “Mr. Slicer, can you put me in the database? By me I mean George Jetson.”

HUDSON: I try to put George Jetson in the database.

NICK: Okay. You’re gonna put George Jetson in the ISB database.

HUDSON: Correct.

LAURA: I have to imagine that because so much of it is undercover work that they probably have very basic profiles.

NICK: Oh yeah.

LAURA: So it’s real easy to just import the same photo and a name, and like that’s all.

NICK: So, the actual getting him in, getting the database format is gonna be super easy. It’s getting into their network and dropping I in while this guy is searching it. That will be a Computers check, it’s going to be hard, and you’re still gonna have those two black dice. This is sort of becoming your specialty, dropping stuff into Star Destroyer networks.

CAMERON: I flipped a light side point to upgrade one of his greens.


LAURA: So, triumph with a success, two successes, and a threat.

NICK: So tons of successes.

CAMERON: Yeah, so three successes total, a triumph, and a threat.

NICK: Alright. How do you want to use your triumph?

HUDSON: Not only do I put him in the database, but suddenly he’s over the rank of the person who was on the hologram.


NICK: Okay. That’s good.

STEVEN: So Petty Officer is just the cover of George Jetson.

NICK: I’m gonna beat a dead horse here. That threat is you still haven’t noticed the signature, and you put it all over it but it’s like in the report. So, if there was some sort of inspector or special agent who was hunting you at some point, then this signature would be one of a long trail of Moriarty-like clues, but I’m sure that would never happen so I wouldn’t worry about it. Yeah, so the hologram clicks back on and the communications officer is sweating. You can see he’s pushed his hat back, tried to put it back, and his hair is kind of askew. “Oh, uh, Commander Jetson. My mistake.”

STEVEN: “Petty. Officer. Jetson.”

NICK: “Oh, y-yes, Petty Officer Jetson. I trust that this won’t need to be reported. I apologize for the delay, sir. If you will head down to the surface… Whatever you  need, just let me know, and apologies again.”

STEVEN: “I recommend this be handled with discretion as we land on the surface, if you know what I mean.”

NICK: “Oh, absolutely. We’ll mark you as a certified civilian vessel, of course, as is protocol, Petty Officer Jetson.” He winks into the hologram. “Is there anything else that I can do for you?”

STEVEN: “Nope.” Click.

NICK: You cut him off mid-word, and the hologram disappears.

LAURA: “You should have at least said thank you.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “Nope. Nope.”

CAMERON: “I feel like that’s not really a big thing in the Empire, though.”

LAURA: “Eh.”

STEVEN: “Good job, slicer.”

HUDSON: “Thank you.”

CAMERON: “Well done, Tink!”

STEVEN: “Mr. Slicer. May I call you mister?”

HUDSON: “I mean, this wasn’t like the hardest thing I’ve ever done or anything.”


STEVEN: “Good job, Tink.”

NICK: So, all the Star Destroyers, they stop weapons lock with the Afternoon Delight. The Super Star Destroyer, a chunk of the cannons seem to whip around in the opposite way as fast as possible like someone went and slapped a targeting officer in the back of the head, and you are able to head down to the planet.
Here’s the thing about Ithor… Nobody lives on the surface, really. Ooh, let’s get Xenology checks.

LAURA: I have Underworld.

NICK: Nope. This is the opposite of that.

CAMERON: What is the difficulty of the check?

NICK: Average. (musically) Who knows about Ithor~?

HUDSON: I know about ether.

NICK: Not that. Not that.

STEVEN: I know about Ithor.

NICK: What did you get?

STEVEN: A success and two threats.

NICK: Mm, okay.

LAURA: I got one failure, but two advantages.

CAMERON: A success and two threats.

STEVEN: Yeaaah.

HUDSON: Three advantages.

NICK: So, with the successes: The Ithorians value the Mother Jungle kind of as their god. They worship nature, and plants, and animals, and their ecosystem, and as such they don’t live on the planet; they live on massive floating cities above the planet. Sometimes they do take a pilgrimage down to the planet, but anyone who goes to live on the planet doesn’t come back – not like they died, like they just live there now, because once you become one with the planet you can’t leave. The only people who can take pilgrimages down to the planet and return are the Oracle, which is why they’re important, they can check with people.
So, as you are relaying this information, you break down through the clouds and you see a large floating city. It is made mostly of white steel and is very pretty, and has tree lined boulevards and is very open and airy, and you see Ithorians walking around which are those weird hammerhead-looking slug alien guys from, you know, the Star Wars. You are immediately given clearance to land, and you already knew as you were coming in some of the information that you got from Sentinel which was which floating city the Oracle was on and general directions of where you were going, so you’re able to land very quickly. They actually put you on a priority landing pad, and as you land you can see that there are several Ithorians standing by, and you are on the planet, sort of.


LAURA: “Okie. So, somebody is going to have to wear some sort—It’s probably going to have to be Karma.”


LAURA: “You should probably wear some sort of fancy cape, cloak, thing that covers your face so that maybe it looks like we actually have a human aboard, because I do not think Tink could ever pass for human.”

HUDSON: “You haven’t seen me shaved.”


LAURA: “True. I have not.”

HUDSON: “We don’t have the time or the tools, thankfully.”

LAURA: “Sabos’s montrals things would be too pointy.”

STEVEN: I try to flatten them down.

CAMERON: They just pop right back up.

LAURA: Yeah. I don’t know how mobile they are, but I think they’re pretty rigid.

CAMERON: He definitely doesn’t make it flat, but he can like bend the tips a little bit.”

STEVEN: “What if I push them like towards–No? Hmm.”

LAURA: “I think I am a little too short. Just a little.”

CAMERON: “Okay. Now that we’re down here why do we need to be human?”

LAURA: “Because if they have any surveillance, or if any of these Ithorians were told we were Imperials?”

CAMERON: “I don’t know if I can pass as male though.”

LAURA: “Well no, no, we just pull the hood down and we get very fancy cloaks and capes.”

CAMERON: “Oh yeah, from our costume closet.”

LAURA: “And they will be so impressed by the cape, and that is how they would know you are important, because of the fancy cape.”

CAMERON: (giggles) “Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: To be fair, that is basically how Star Wars works.

CAMERON: “Yeah. If I pull it down far enough so you just see darkness and chin shadow it’s not obvious I’m green.”

LAURA: “Yes. Just do not let them see your face, and if you keep the cloak, you know, mostly together in the front they will not see that, you know, you have boobs.”

CAMERON: “Okay.” I go to the costume closet and I whip out one of those capes we have!

NICK: So, you all have one full costume change and some accessories that you can use from a triumph a few episodes ago, so yeah, there is a very nice Imperial style cape with hood.


NICK: What does it look like?

CAMERON: So it’s gotta be black… but it’s more ornate, because they’re normally just very boring, but it has really nice embroidery along the edges, like silver embroidery, or no, gold, it has to be gold. Gold is my color scheme. It has gold embroidery all along the edges of it.

NICK: Okay. Does it have an Imperial logo brooch that holds the front?


NICK: It’s just a plain cape?

CAMERON: Mm-hmm.

NICK: Okay, with gold embroidery.


NICK: Alright. You get one of those. It hides you. It’s a very big hood. Imagine the one that Padme wears when she’s trying to be sneaky, and you’re able to wrap up in it, and it sconces you quite well. It will be difficult to tell much about you, except that you’re wearing pretty nice combat armor.

CAMERON: As I’m walking out of our costume closet I start swooshing around all the corners with my cape feeling very self-important.


NICK: Great. Yes. You get +1 to self-importance.

CAMERON: Awesome!

NICK: Make sure you mark that down. That is an important stat.

CAMERON: A blue die on all self-importance checks.

NICK: Yes. Is anyone doing anything else to prepare, or are you all rolling out?

STEVEN: What do Ithorians wear?

NICK: Mostly like mechanic jumpsuits. Nothing too fancy. They have weird kind of hunched bodies that seem way too small because they’re mostly head, so they wear a lot of single colors with utility belts and things like that. I think they have two fingers and a thumb.

LAURA: I think so.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s not nearly Ranbo enough for me. I’m gonna keep on my current outfit.

NICK: Okay. What are you wearing? I don’t remember.

CAMERON: Oh, you’ve got like a vest with no shirt underneath.

STEVEN: Yeah, it’s like a leather vest with no shirt.

NICK: Oh yeah. Now I remember. Great.

LAURA: Yeah, because you have padded armor…


LAURA: Are you wearing that?


LAURA: Okay.

CAMERON: Why not?

STEVEN: (laughs) Well, not on the ship. Sometimes, when we get off the ship, I have a nice padded vest.

NICK: You have some sort of weird ballistics property under-vest that you wear in dangerous situations.


LAURA: With a vest over it.

STEVEN: With an over-vest.

NICK: Of course. It’s the Osaronian style… to wear… Great.

STEVEN: I am the Osaronian style. I mean, yes, it’s the Osaronian style.

NICK: (laughs) I’m starting to think that Sabos is the only person who lives on that planet.

STEVEN: There’s a couple others. (laughs)

NICK: Alright. You head down the ramp. Do you come down in a specific order or in any way tactically?

LAURA: “Okie. Karma goes first. She is in charge. She is the human. She goes first. The rest of us, as dirty, dirty aliens go next, because you see the Imperials would never have non-humans in front. They do not like the non-humans. So, Sabos and I will go in the middle, and then Tink goes in the back because it is more likely he would be some sort of hired mercenary and therefore would be taking up the rear.”

CAMERON: “Do we want to take the Stone Breaker with us now?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “I feel like you have ample place to hide it in your coat.”

CAMERON: How big is it? It was a crate?

NICK: It’s a crate.

STEVEN: Oh yeah.

NICK: We’re gonna have to flash back real quick to you all opening the quite large crate.

STEVEN: (rewinding noises)

NICK: The Stone Breaker appears to be made of some sort of stone.

SEVERAL: Whaaat?!

NICK: Yeah. It weighs about 20 pounds. It is about 18 inches long, and 8 inches wide, so it’s like an oversized iPad kind of situation. It’s made out of, kind of a granite, about 3 inches thick, and it looks like a solid piece of kind of a beige stone, but when you pull it out of the case it has a lot of cover and padding and stuff. If you touch it in different spots different parts seem to light up. The stone can turn semi-translucent and there’s some sort of screen interface, but it’s in a bunch of symbols you don’t really recognize.

LAURA: “Just put it back in the box. Sabos, you hold the box.”

NICK: The box is like really big. It’s like three feet wide.

LAURA: Would there be somewhere in the Afternoon Delight a smaller box that would fit it or even some sort of wrapping to cover it up?

STEVEN: I’ll put it in my padded vest.


LAURA: Yeah. Would there be any sort of like wrapping paper, or like brown paper, or a small box or bag?

NICK: Yeah, you can find something. It’s not gonna be super resilient, but you could put it in something. Sabos, if you’re the one carrying it, what are you gonna put it in?

STEVEN: I’m gonna put it in my padded vest.

NICK: So you’re gonna like zip your vest up and put it just between that and your skin?


LAURA: Yeah, Xianna wasn’t looking so much for protective cover, just something to cover it so if we get caught on cameras you can’t see exactly what we have.

NICK: Does the padded vest have some sort of like kangaroo pouch in it that you can put stuff?

STEVEN: Just in between the vest and the skin, because the other vest is pretty tight.

CAMERON: It’s just holding it there.

NICK: Okay. Yeah. So you’re just gonna flex your abs 100% of the time and hold it in place?

STEVEN: Oh, I don’t have to flex to hold it.

NICK: Okay. (laughs)

LAURA: “Why can’t you just hold it like a normal person?”

STEVEN: “I don’t want it to be seen.”

LAURA: “But it does not matter. It almost looks better if you are holding something, because then it looks like you are some sort of errand boy.”

STEVEN: “Hmm…”

NICK: This conversation’s happening while Sabos has it like half jammed down his armor.

STEVEN: Yeah, no I start thinking about it.

LAURA: “Okie. This makes sense in my mind. You see, Karma is the human, she goes in front.”

STEVEN: “George Jetson.”

LAURA: “Then I go. They will probably just assume I am some sort of dancer, mistress-type person as a Twi’lek. Again, they are very xenophobic.”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

LAURA: “You, if you are holding something and you have the weird vest, they will assume you are some sort of hired messenger or errand boy who is just there to deliver packages or something. You are the hired help.”

STEVEN: “Ah, yes. There was once a nice tale on Shili about the four tailed—“

LAURA: “Okie, so never mind.”

CAMERON: “Oh god.”

STEVEN: “—Togruta that could weave their head tails into a basket with twine.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “And then Tink, being in the back and being quite large, will be the mercenary, the hired gun, that is how it is going to look. It is going to work. Trust me.”

STEVEN: “Fine.”

HUDSON: “I don’t look that scary, do I? Do I?”

LAURA: “Well, not to us because we know you, but to them you are a very, very large creature with a gigantic axe.”

HUDSON: “Oh, I should hold my axe?”

LAURA: “No no no, keep the axe on the back.”

CAMERON: “Just the fact that you have it.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Sure that’s scary enough? Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes. The giant is scary enough.”

HUDSON: “You got it.”

CAMERON: “We don’t wanna necessarily scare the Ithorians.”

STEVEN: “I’ll just carry the bag.”

CAMERON: “You’re mostly scaring in case of video cameras.”

HUDSON: “Got it.”

CAMERON: “And the assumptions that the Empire will make based on those.”

HUDSON: “I see.”

NICK: Okay, so, in that order. You got a bag.


NICK: It’s just—There’s a baguette sticking out of it.

CAMERON: Messenger bag.

NICK: No, uh…

HUDSON: Messenger baguette?

STEVEN: A messenger baguette.

NICK: Okay. You have a messenger bag with the Stone Breaker in it. Like I said, it’s surprisingly heavy for its size, but it should be fine, shouldn’t get in the way. You head down the ramp, and there are two Ithorians standing off of the landing pad. They turn and regard you quietly for a minute, and one of them raises its hand and slowly waves, like if a sloth was saying hello.

LAURA: Xianna quickly waves back.

NICK: It like does a catching gesture, and like puts it in its pocket.

LAURA: Xianna winks at him.

NICK: You can’t really tell if it’s winking because it’s eyes are so far apart and you can only see one at a time. (laughter) It might be blinking. It’s hard to tell.
So, do you approach the Ithorians?



NICK: Okay. As you get there the Ithorian says, “Welcome to Ithor.”

LAURA: Before Karma says anything, Xianna is going to run in front of her, put an ear to her face, and kind of pretend like she is getting something whispered to her, and then turn around like very non-authoritatively turn around and be like, “Oh, hello. I will be talking for, uh, him.”

NICK: “Yes. We saw you break the blockade. Nobody has come to the planet. Is that an Imperial?” It’s very hard to read their facial expressions because their faces are flat and their eyes are far apart, but it does seem to be scrutinizing the group very closely.

CAMERON: Karma nudges Xianna like through the cape, just sticks her arm out. Xianna leans back in. I whisper, “Tell them something,” and then just like wave back. (giggles) And now she has to say something.

LAURA: “Um, yes, yes, um, he is with the Galactic Empire. Um, we would like to see the Oracle.”

NICK: “Well, clearly if you are finally issuing demands, the Oracle would speak with you. This way, please.”

LAURA: “Thank you.”

NICK: The Ithorian turns around and moves actually pretty quickly down the road. You see that there’s a big old main thoroughfare, and a lot of different kinds of buildings and roads and neighborhoods. This is a full city floating about a mile above the jungle, and occasionally tropical birds and things will fly by, and they’re roosting places. The landing pad is towards the edge, and you can see some very colorful birds with what look like antennas sticking out of their heads, and by antennas I mean like mechanical antennas because that’s a thing in Star Wars. Birds with mechanical antennas, look it up.


NICK: They’re pecking at each other, and they dive straight down off the side toward the jungle. So, that’s going on. In the distance you see, it’s like one long, low building that seems to take up a pretty good amount of this main thoroughfare, so it’s half way through the city, and it doesn’t open up into a square, the road just leads straight into some sort of covered pavilion-type thing that looks like it’s maybe a quarter of a mile wide in any given direction. He starts leading you that way, and he gestures at you. His arm gestures are very slow and waving, but his legs are moving pretty quick, and he’s moving along at a good pace.

CAMERON: I look pretty badass walking in my cape.

LAURA: It swooshes a lot.

CAMERON: It’s very swooshy, and billowy.

NICK: We get a lot of camera shots from like real low of different parts of the city with the cape brushing past it. Do you get your boots to click authoritatively as you walk?

CAMERON: Oh yeah. They do that, yeah.

NICK: Oh, they do that anyway?

CAMERON: Well, except for when I’m trying to be sneaky.

NICK: … Okay.

CAMERON: I’m not trying to be sneaky right now, so I’m being loud.

NICK: Yeah. So, there’s the ‘I’m important’ boot click, and we get camera shots of the cape flying by, and we get camera shots of the crew of the Afternoon Delight all walking except then it’ll like zoom in on the cape and play like brass hits of (Dun-dun-DUH).
Yeah, so you make it through the city without any sort of issues, and the Ithorian says, “Continue this way to the Oracle’s receiving room.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: And he stops.

LAURA: “And, we keep going.”

NICK: Great. As you go inside, it’s basically the Oracle’s pavilion. There’s a lot of life inside here. It’s been a pretty normal city, but in here it’s kind of like an arboretum. It’s got a lot of different trees, and you can see stuff clustered by region, and there’s some small animals. You don’t really get any good looks at them, but you see some rodents and things darting in and out, and there’s more of those tropical birds swinging by, and they like to peck at each other and fly off and they’re chasing each other. As you continue through, there is a… it kind of looks like a tent if you wove a tent out of trees and then lined the inside with Japanese paper, like the Japanese paper walls. It’s an interlocked, upside down basket of that, and it’s open in the front. It looks like the doors have been pushed open, and you see an Ithorian sitting there in a simple woven tunic and some pants, and it’s got it’s legs crossed, and it appears to be meditating as you arrive. As you get there it opens its eyes and says, “Outsiders. How interesting. I am the Oracle. Who… are you?”

LAURA: “Oh, um, I think we are supposed to be delivering something, and… (hesitantly) the light will never go out in the universe.”

NICK: The Ithorian sits up real straight. “Interesting. Interesting indeed. I thought that the Empire had finally decided to tell us why it is killing the Mother Jungle, and instead… I find a friend, from Sentinel. Strange. What do you have for me? I’m going to continue to talk at weird intervals.”


LAURA: You can see Xianna like every time he pauses like, perks up a little bit and then stop, like oh, no, oh—okay. She points at Sabos and waves him over. “Um, we have this.”

STEVEN: I just present.

LAURA: “Well, take the bag off first!”

STEVEN: “Oh, oh, right.” I still lay it flat and just slide the bag off as I’m holding it.

NICK: The Oracle chuckles to himself and takes the pad, rock, Stone Breaker, and turns it over, and as it’s fingers touch at different points it starts to light up a little bit. The Oracle says, “Oh… The Sentinel has brought us a valuable… gift indeed. Thank you… for delivering it. I must ask… that you do not tell anyone… that we have it. It will be important… that we keep this….. a secret.”


LAURA: “Yes, yes, secrets.”

CAMERON: “Of course.”

LAURA: “Secrets are good. Yes. Obviously. Okie, I guess we will be going now. Uh… Have a good day?”

NICK: “If there’s anything… we can do for you… please… do not hesitate… to ask.”

LAURA: “Um. Completely unrelated.” I just point at him. “He wanted to go to a specific bar but he does not know where it is, but it was recommended to us. Do you happen to know where The Gooberfish is?”

NICK: “Ah… The Gooberfish… A wonderful establishment… It serves off-worlders, so I believe it is in financial difficulties as we are in a blockade.”

LAURA: “Mm, yes.”

NICK: “If you return… to whence you came… it will be on the right.” And, there’s a much longer awkward scene that we’ll fast forward through because we’re not the jerks that stop watching this movie. There’s some directions given out. It’s basically off the main road. It’s not too bad.

CAMERON: I had another question. “Is there a good place to get medical attention for my friend?” I gesture very billowingly with the cape, keeping my green covered, toward Sabos.

STEVEN: (through coughing) “Yeah, the walking, so…”

LAURA: “Oh yes. I forgot about that. You are so injured.”


NICK: With the amount of time you spent on the ship you have healed a little but you’re still in pretty bad shape. The Oracle says, “Oh… Conflict has found you like it… has found us. If you will wait… I will have someone… come to you.” The Oracle stands up very slowly and stretches, and the crazy thing about Ithorians is when it stretches his whole neck expands out like a bullfrog, really far, and you can see these black strips on either side that you can kind of see through his neck. There’s a creaking of muscles, and the arboretum area seems to fall quiet for a minute, and then he collapses back into his little body and big head and then walks off rather quickly, and you are left alone in the Oracle’s pavilion for a minute.

STEVEN: I’ll wait.

NICK: Was there anything you wanted to do while he was gone? You wanna just wait until he gets back?

LAURA: We just wait.

CAMERON: Yeah. I scratch my face.

NICK: Sounds good. The Oracle comes back with a smaller Ithorian. It’s really hard to tell if they’re male or female, but this one looks like it might be female, because it’s got like a pretty teal jumpsuit on, and it says, “Please, step this way,” and there’s a bush that the woody parts of the inside of the bush have been shaped kind of like a chair, and she has you sit down, and she starts to stitch at you. You guys feel a lot of parallels to Falx’s office, because as he’s getting stitched up and she is liberally applying bacta everywhere, so that feels like the aloe gel that you would get for a sunburn so it’s very cold but you start to feel better. So, as she’s working on that, and Sabos is responding to that…

STEVEN: “Ah, yes, that’s better.” (coughing) “I mean, little, ah, yes.”

NICK: The Oracle turns to Tink and Xianna and Karma and says, “This blockade… I hope that… Sentinel has sent you for a reason… as… it is killing us… quite quickly. We are being crushed, we are unable to trade, and as food… becomes more scarce, the herdship is becoming more deserted as people head to the planet… It is great to become one with Mother Jungle, but… we cannot have the entire population leave the herdship.”

LAURA: “Um, we were just told to bring you this box thing, tablet, stone, yes. I don’t really know what you expect us to do about a blockade.”

CAMERON: “We will have to leave the planet, though, so perhaps Sentinel has some plan involved in that.”

NICK: “Well, I trust… that it will work out. Sentinel has helped us in the past… I hope that your trip to The Gooberfish is worth the journey.” The Oracle sits back down, crosses his legs, and takes up a meditative pose again. Around this time the younger Ithorian finishes up with Sabos and puts your vest back in place, and says, “That should be enough to get you on your way” and like slaps you on the shoulder, which hurts pretty bad.

STEVEN: (coughs) “Ow… Ow ow ow…”

NICK: Yeah. As you’re saying ow, she reaches for you feeling bad, and then pulls back because she knows if she touches you again it’ll hurt again, and then holds her wrist and says, “Well, sorry,” and runs off. Where are you guys going now?

CAMERON: What’s his health situation now?

NICK: Yeah, you’re good. Between the healing on the ship and the medical attention you’re at full health.


LAURA: We leave and walk towards The Gooberfish, to do whatever we’re gonna do.

CAMERON: Yep. Keep my cape on. Keep up appearances.

NICK: Right. Okay.

STEVEN: Oh, I make sure to grab the bag so it doesn’t look like I dropped something at the Oracle.

NICK: Oh, smart. Great. As you head through town, it’s basically you go down the main pathway and it’s one street over, you see The Gooberfish which is a low, plain building but it does have a sign out front of the depiction of what looks kind of like a giant angler fish with big teeth. You assume it’s giant because there’s a little, tiny picture of an Ithorian also on the sign that is less than the size of one of the teeth. You go into the bar. There is pretty much no one in there. There is an Ithorian behind the bar who does the slow sloth wave as you come in, and sitting off in the corner you see one other person in the shadows. As you walk in, that person makes notice of you all you think because it sits up a little straighter, but you can’t really make out a lot of details, but they’re not an Ithorian, you can tell that.

LAURA: I kind of lean back and whisper to the group. “I think that may be our contact considering they are the only person here, so I think that maybe was what he meant by (Cameron joins) we will know them when we see them, (Cameron stops) because he is the only thing to see. Yes.”

NICK: So, as you were whispering you see that the shadowed person has stood up and is slowly inching towards a side door and like very suspiciously trying to…

LAURA: So, Xianna tells everyone else like, “Okie, stay here,” and then walks over to them and tries to walk over as politely as possible with like visible hands of, ‘hey, it’s just a Twi’lek, you can see my hands, I don’t have any weapons,’ that you know of, but you know.

NICK: Yeah. So, as you get closer, the figure stops for a second and gives you very obviously skeezy elevator eyes…


LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Everyone in the bar hears him say, “You know, uh, I kinda got a thing for tentacles,” and then—

CAMERON: Oh shit.

LAURA:  “Do not say tentacles, they are leku. Tentacles is a little offensive. You can call—No, never mind. Never mind. Forget what I was going to say.”


STEVEN: I shake my head.

LAURA: “Anyways. Does the phrase ‘the light will never go out in the universe’ mean anything to you?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah, but I never expected to hear that from someone body guarding an Imperial. What the heck is going on?”

LAURA: (smiling) “Oh, do not worry about them, they are fine.”

NICK: “If-If you say so…”

LAURA: “That is just for appearances. Do not worry.”

NICK: “This is getting real weird.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “I walk closer, but I keep my hood up until I can see who he is.”

NICK: Yeah. You see a Selonian, which is like a big otter-looking person, with kind of like a beer belly and some leather pants on.

LAURA: A dude Selonian?

NICK: Yeah.


NICK: But he’s like kinda skeezy, he’s got some bald patches, and he’s wearing a leather jacket.

LAURA: Oh, that’s why they kicked him off.

STEVEN: Oh, I walk over because I notice that he is also a dude, and wearing a leather jacket.

NICK: (laughs) Yeah. Karma, you would recognize him as Felton Mox, the bounty that you took in during your first trip to Corellia in quite a long time, that you dropped off at Sentinel’s base on your way in. he looks to be in much better shape. He isn’t shot, so that’s good, but he doesn’t recognize that you are in the cloak.

CAMERON: Underneath my cloak I’m gonna take his heavy pistol and put it in my bag.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: “So, do you want to buy us drinks?”

NICK: “Uh…”

LAURA: And she winks a little bit, and she’s like, ‘ugh, this guy’s skeezy, but maybe we can get free stuff.’

NICK: “I, you know, normally being an informant people buy Me drinks, but yeah, I think I can make that happen,” and he walks past you. He gives the cloaked figure of Karma a wide birth because he still seems kind of nervous about an Imperial cloak, and he goes over to the bar and you hear him asking for beverages.
The Ithorian who is very incapable of speaking quietly says, “Beverages for your elicit meeting. Right away.” And he starts mixing drinks. Again, he moves very slowly getting situated, but once he plants his feet he starts putting stuff together pretty quickly.

LAURA: What are the driiinks?

NICK: The Ithorian is putting together kind of a mixed bag. You see several tall, thin glasses that have some sort of a bluish-greenish liquid in them, and then what looks like an Imperial ale which is like a straight beer, and—an Imperial stout.

LAURA: Imperial stout.


NICK: And then there’s one copper mug that gets slapped down on the bar and has some sprig of some greenish, weird, curly plant sticking out of it, and the Ithorian says, “This should be… easy to decide… who enjoys the finer things in life.” Then he looks around, which takes up a lot of air space when something with heads this wide look around—

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: –and makes himself scarce back behind the bar.

CAMERON: So, as Xianna starts to walk towards the bar Karma grabs her and pulls her in closer to her hood. (whispering) “So, this guy was my mark for Sentinel, so I’ma gonna keep my hood up because I’m not sure how he’s gonna feel about me.”

LAURA: “Oh! Okie, because I was thinking maybe if we figured him trustworthy we would let him in on the secret, but… Okie, no, secret stays.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, we’ll see how he’s doing. Yeah.”

LAURA: “The secret stays. Okie.”

NICK: As that conversation wraps up real quick, Felton comes back and gestures towards a round table and the booth that he was sitting at and he drops the serving tray down. The drinks kind of clatter around. He says, “Three Ithorian Bellows, an Imperial Stout, and a Flame Out for the adventurous. Take your pick.”

STEVEN: “Would you consider colonizing another planet adventurous?” I just say to the group.

CAMERON: The hooded figure nods.

NICK: He kind of looks you up and down, grabs the copper mug and just slides it towards you. Then he looks at everyone else and says, “The Ithorian Bellows is a pretty mellow beverage. It’s good for having a long talk with people.” He sits down and he waits for you all to select your beverages.

LAURA: Xianna would take the Ithorian Bellows.

CAMERON: Same with Karma, because she realizes that one of them says Imperial on it, so she’s gonna grab the Bellows.

HUDSON: I grab one of the Ithorian Bellows.

NICK: Okay. Felton looks at you all very shiftily. It looks pretty comical on his little otter face. He grabs the Imperial Stout and goes, “You saw through my crafty rouse, I see. No one’s given themselves away yet,” and he takes a long pull on the drink.

STEVEN: I take a sip of mine and kind of look for what reaction he thinks I should have.

NICK: He’s got the bottle back and he appears to be chugging it, but you notice it’s not going down that fast, it’s mostly for show, but he opens one eye at you as you take a sip like eager to see what your response will be.

STEVEN: I respond in such a way that would warrant someone looking eagerly for a response.

NICK: What the fuck does that mean?

LAURA & CAMERON: What does that mean?!


LAURA: Also, do you remember what this drink tastes like?

STEVEN: Oh, I absolutely remember, yeah. No, yeah, so, you know, I’ve had a lot of these on Corellia back when I was ambassadorizing, and I’m quite fond of it, but everyone—or at least Felton—seems interested, so I react as if I don’t like it, set it down, and then pick it back up and drain it.


LAURA: That’s like a Constitution check!

NICK: As you cough and splutter, he sets the beer down and chuckles to himself. “Yeah, those are pretty hard to—Oh.” As you just knock the whole cup back. It tastes like pepper’s angry, drunk cousin tried to strangle your uvula on the way down is basically what a Flame Out tastes like. Yeah, the Flame Out’s a pretty rough drink, but you like them and you’re used to them. So, as you do that, “Wow, oh, okay.”

STEVEN: (chuckles)

NICK: So you’re in the horseshoe booth sitting and he has the one chair and he skootches it toward the door a little bit and looks a little anxious. “So, you knew the passphrase… You’re from Sentinel, huh?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: The hood nods.

NICK: “He said, uh, if I gave you this information that he’d let me off scot-free, got me away from CorSec. If I hadn’t gotten shot it would’ve been a really good deal. I’m, uh, not 100% sure why I got shot. It seemed pretty unnecessary. The person who did—You know, bounty hunters, I’m just not a big fan of them.”

LAURA: “Yes. They are terrible. Just, all of them, every single one of them, just terrible.”

HUDSON: I cackle.

CAMERON: The hood nods.

STEVEN: “Yup.”

NICK: “So, Sentinel said that you would have most of the tools you need but I was to give you two more, and that is… I lost one of them, but I have the other one!” And he takes—

LAURA: “Wait, wait, what?!”

NICK: “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine!” He takes a plasteel box, it’s gray and looks kind of like a Chinese take-out container, it’s about a foot wide and a foot long, it’s like a square, and he sets it on the table and slides it to you very carefully and nervously. “Don’t, uh, open that until you’re in position, because it’s uh, not great, but…”

LAURA: “And, what was the thing that you lost?”

NICK: “Uhhh… I’m not sure. It was another box, um… but it’s gone now…”

LAURA: Xianna’s sitting there and is suddenly like, ‘Ohh, I had a box. Karma probably had a box.’ This is what Xianna’s thinking. So, Xianna’s gonna like drop it and just be like, ‘oh, never mind,’ because in her head she’s like ‘I had to go get a box, and if Karma took him in he probably had the box so she took it, so it’s okay, Sentinel has the box.’ That’s what’s going through her head. So, she’s like, “Oh, okie. It’s fine. Okie. I’m sure we will make do.”

NICK: “Yeah, so, totally didn’t lose it gambling. Uh…”

LAURA: He says that and Xianna’s like, ‘oh, wait… oh no.’

CAMERON: ‘My plan has a hole in it.

NICK: “Here’s the deal. This is a special kind of weapon and Sentinel wants you to break the blockade. This weapon is powerful enough to take down a Super Star Destroyer if you can get onboard. That’s all I know. My job was to get the weapon to whoever told me the light of the universe would never go out.”

LAURA: “Okie. Thank you.”

CAMERON: How are we seated in this booth?

LAURA: I imagine that Xianna took lead and got in next to him, and then…

CAMERON: I probably have an edge spot, because scooting in my cape wouldn’t have been the best.

LAURA: I imagine it would be, like from one end of the horseshoe to the other, it would have been like Karma, a wide space, Felton, then Xianna, then Sabos, and then Tink, guessing that Tink would have a harder time fitting in, and he probably doesn’t slide well just being all fuzzy. Probably a lot of friction.

HUDSON: I don’t. I just cause static on myself.

NICK: I can imagine if you sit on your hair and try to scoot you’re just pulling all your hair. That couldn’t be fun.


NICK: Booths were not designed for Gigorans.

CAMERON: So, I’m just gonna go into my hood. I’m wearing gloves now so my green doesn’t show if I put my hand up. I’m gonna whisper into my com links so they can hear me, because none of them are close enough to pull over to me. (whispers) “Ask who he lost it in gambling to, because we may need to track them down.”

LAURA: “So, um, who were you playing in the gambling game?”

NICK: “Well, you know, it’s a little embarrassing. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done. She’s a pretty heavy hitter in this sector, but uh… Yeah, I may have lost your other tool that you need to, uh, the Queen. Maybe you’ve heard of her. She’s a gangster from Corellia. I mean, she’s not that big a deal.”

STEVEN: “Ah yes, the Queen.”

NICK: “Oh, you’re familiar?”

LAURA: “Um, I guess so, yes. It appears.”

STEVEN: “I used to play the cards as well.” (grinning)

NICK: “You know Kettle, the Queen of Corellia?”

STEVEN: “I know Kettle.”

NICK: “Well, more power to you, man. You can try and go get it back, but I didn’t have any deal with having to do with her.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I didn’t say nothing about trying to get it back from Kettle.”

LAURA: (nervously) “Okie. We take the box now. Thank you, so much, heh, thank you.”

NICK: “Great.” Can I get Perception checks from you all?

LAURA: Can do.

NICK: This will be an average Perception check.

HUDSON: One success.

CAMERON: Karma got two successes and an advantage.

LAURA: Three successes.

STEVEN: I got one success.

NICK: You all see that he’s pretty anxious to leave, and he also looks like he feels a little guilty about it, but he’s scared and trying to get around. It’s pretty easy for you all to interpret that he had further instructions he was supposed to do to help you all out and is just trying to get out of there with the bare minimum.

LAURA: When he does that Xianna’s gonna reach into her pocket, get her blaster, and like push it towards him through her coat so that he can like feel the blaster. “Um, you seem very quick to leave. Do you maybe have something to tell us?”

CAMERON: Karma stands up menacingly at the end of the booth and just lets her cape fall.

HUDSON: I start mean-mugging.

STEVEN: I say, “Hey buddy, you got anything else for us? It’d be a shame if Kettle had to hear about this.”

NICK: “Um… Wow. This—I thought we were having a friendly drink here.”

LAURA: “Well, we were, and then you decided to get all shifty.”

NICK: “Uh, I’m a Selonian. We do shifty. That’s like our thing.” … That’s not their thing.

STEVEN: I chuckle, because that’s… (laughs)

CAMERON: Because you don’t know species.

STEVEN: Right, because I’m a Togrutan. (laughs)

LAURA: “No, no, I dated a Selonian once. They were not very shifty.”

NICK: “Uh, well, okay. Part of my contract was that I’m supposed to help guide you until you leave the planet again, but you’re all very capable. You have an Imperial. You don’t need me. You should really just let me go. I’ve got things to do.”

HUDSON: “Everyone could use a helping hand.”

CAMERON: The hood tilts.

LAURA: “Guide in what way?”

NICK: “Uh, just help you find anything you need for your assault, uh, maybe inform him once the mission’s complete. I’m supposed to be like an observer type thing, but he’s got eyes everywhere. You should really just let me go. There’s really no reason for me to…”

CAMERON: The hood shakes it’s head.

LAURA: “Where do you live?”

NICK: “On Corellia…”

LAURA: “Where are you staying currently?”

NICK: (hesitantly) “Uh, why do you wanna know?”

LAURA: “In case we do need your help later on.”

NICK: So, he perks up a little bit at that, because it sounds like you’re going to let him out of your immediate eyesight, and he goes, “Oh, I’m right above The Gooberfish. You could find me if you needed me, but you won’t. You’re all very capable.”

CAMERON: I look over at Tink, and I’m like—

HUDSON: “You’re gonna help us out.” I hold my vibro-axe higher.


NICK: Can you roll me a Coercion, please?

HUDSON: Great. I can do that.

NICK: It’s gonna be easy, and you have two blue dice because everyone is backing you up.

CAMERON: Oh wow, your Willpower is one?

HUDSON: Wow. Two advantages.

NICK: Is there something that you would like to spend your advantages on specifically?

HUDSON: Look more intimidating.

NICK: That’s not how that works.

LAURA: Yeah, because this roll was to look intimidating.

HUDSON: Oh, sorry. This was Coercion.

NICK: You don’t intimidate him, but you can get something else tangential out of it, if you want.

HUDSON: Oh. The bartender brings me another drink to calm me down.

NICK: Nice. Okay. The bartender runs up with two. “You seem to be a big fellow.”

HUDSON: “I am.”

NICK: “Here’s another one, on the house… and another one… that you will pay for.” He sets them down. They’re Ithorian Bellows.

LAURA: Xianna is seeing Tink, and I imagine it’s something where like Tink tries to narrow his eyes but instead they look even more cute and round, so Xianna’s like, “Okie. So I know he is very cute and fluffy, but he is very large, and he has a gigantic axe as you can see.” She like head tilts at Sabos. “That one, I do not know what that one does. Apparently he knows Kettle. I don’t know. That seems to be important.”

STEVEN: This one’s crazy,” I say.

LAURA: “And, um, also…” She points over at Karma. “The Galactic Empire, so you know, maybe, also I have a gun… Maybe you should help us.”

NICK: “Ah. I thought you were just happy to see me. Heh, heh…”

LAURA: “No…”

STEVEN: I check my head tails really quickly.

LAURA: Xianna’s just kind of shaking her head. “No, you see, I would have to say that to you because I being a woman do not do the thing you are implying. You as a male can, so you see it has to be me to you.”

NICK: “Yeah I can. Wait—“

LAURA: “No. No.”

NICK: “Oh, yeah. Oh boy.” And Felton Mox looks right into the camera and says, “Well, Felton Mox, it looks like we’re in a whole bunch of trouble.” (groans and laughter) And that’s gonna be the end of the episode!

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 8 Let’s Check Spacebook

PDF download: Episode 8 Let’s Check Spacebook

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 8:
Let’s Check Spacebook

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy, helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

I want to thank everyone who sent in one of our questionnaires about the show. Thank you for taking the time. We’re taking your feedback seriously to make the show better. Remember everyone, if we get to 20 iTunes reviews we’ll be releasing a flashback starring Karma and her twin boys. It was a blast to record and we wanna share it, to tell your friends to review the show.

Thanks for tuning in, and I hope you enjoy.


NICK: Hello everyone, and welcome to Episode 8 of Tabletop Squadron. We’re really getting into the swing of things now. Let’s go ahead and go around the table. Everybody say who you are, who you’re playing, and if you spent any experience what you spent that experience on… starting with Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi internet. I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink the Gigoran. I moved up two ranks in Astrogation and one rank in Coordination. I also got the Natural Programmer talent off the slicer tree that lets me reroll any one Computer or Astrogation check once per session.

NICK: Yay. For anyone wondering why he did that, he’s been hoarding experience for like three sessions.

HUDSON: In secret. It was the best kept secret.

NICK: Next we’ll go to… Cameron.

CAMERON: Hi. I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma Nailo the Nautolan bounty hunter. I spent some experience going up to rank two in Perception, and I also bought Toughened on my Skiptracer tree to add two to my wound threshold.

NICK: Yeah, after getting shot a bunch.

CAMERON: Apparently it’s important, yeah.

NICK: Yeah, makes sense. Next up we have… Laura.

LAURA: Hello. I’m Laura. I play Xianna who is a Twi’lek smuggler, and I believe I bought a rank in Underworld. I forgot to mark it down, but I’m like 80% sure that’s what I bought with my points.

NICK: Alright. Book keeping, the best part of RPGs. And, last up is… Steven.

STEVEN: Hi, listeners of the network formally known as Arpanet. I’m Steven. I’m playing Sabos. What’s that face?


NICK: I don’t get that reference at all?

STEVEN: One person might.

LAURA: Because Hudson said welcome to the internet.


LAURA: It used to be the Arpanet.

NICK: Oh man.

STEVEN: I used some of my experience to purchase the Master Starhopper trait on my fringer talent tree which allows me to once per round suffer two strain to decrease the difficulty of the Astrogation check by one to a minimum of one black die.

NICK: Oh, neat.

CAMERON: Useful.

NICK: Oh gosh, you can set it to zero.


HUDSON: The real question is who’s better at Astrogation. Me?

STEVEN: Probably you. I have two. I can upgrade sometime.

CAMERON: You’re smarter though, Tink.

HUDSON: I’m smarter, though.

NICK: So y’all would just be the Astrogation Bros. it’ll be fine.

CAMERON: #AstrogationBros.

NICK: #AstrogationBros…

HUDSON: We’ll know our three fans by someone actually tagging that on Twitter.

NICK: Yeah. Hi Ted, our one international fan that we talked to last time. #AstrogationBros.

So, before we get into the show, let’s go ahead and make our Destiny Rolls, please.

LAURA: One light side.

HUDSON: One dark side.

CAMERON: One light side.

STEVEN: One light side.


CAMERON: So three light side, one dark side.

NICK: Great. Last time, you went to a secret asteroid base in the middle of nowhere, you found Quiggle the Quarren and made an exchange for Falx. He gave you a briefcase to give to them, and it didn’t go great. You ended up killing pretty much everyone except for Tiny, your small gun-toting friend. You were also contacted by Sentinel and told kind of what you’re supposed to do next, that you’re supposed to go to Ithor, and that you’re supposed to get down to the planet, and that there’s a very strong blockade with a super star destroyer involved. You’re gonna have to figure out how to get around that, and then you promptly ignored him to go on an adventure to an asteroid belt. I’m sure that won’t come up. That’s great. Am I forgetting anything?

STEVEN: I’m super dead.

CAMERON: (laughs) Yeah.

NICK: Oh yeah, and Sabos got shot a whole bunch, and is very dead. I believe you’re at what, negative seven? So, yeah, we’re gonna have to deal with that. And the last thing that happened was Tiny surrendered and said he was gonna be the captain of Quiggle’s Crew from now on, and that’s where we ended. Picking up right there.

You are in a wide, open space in the middle of a hollowed out asteroid and there is the corpse of Quiggle and his large Gamorrean who is also dead. Tiny has been wounded quite severely. There is an oil drum fire with some fold-up camp chairs around it, and your ship is probably about a hundred yards behind you, and their ship is somewhere off in the dark. You haven’t actually seen it yet. Ready, set, go.

LAURA: I wanna go check the bodies. For fun items.

NICK: I will need a Skullduggery check to pat them down.

LAURA: Can do!

NICK: It’s going to be a hard difficulty, because these are smugglers.

LAURA: That is one triumph with its success, and an advantage.

NICK: Pretty good. I can tell you that Quiggle has a pretty nice light blaster. It’s nothing particularly fancy, it just looks like it’s got pretty plating all over it. It has a water theme. There’s lots of bubbles up the sides.


NICK: Yeah. The Gamorrean has a vibro-axe, it’s a standard vibro-axe. With the triumph, tell me two things that you really want them to have.

LAURA: Stim packs and impact.

NICK: Yep, sounds about good.

LAURA: All the packs.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Yeah, so this makes sense. The Gamorrean has a set of six stim packs in a pouch on his belt. It’s one of those unrolly artist kits, so you undo the cloth tie, it falls open, and there’s just a line of syringes.

LAURA: Fancy~

NICK: Quiggle has a little snuff box. It’s a really pretty chrome plated one, and it has a little electronic reader on it, but it looks like when he fell it opened. In the snuff box there’s four doses of impact in little individual vials, and you also see that it’s got a little thumbprint reader on the snuff box, and from the inside, with your triumph, you see that you can reprogram it to open only for you.

LAURA: Oh yes.

NICK: It would make it so that if someone say found your stash, they wouldn’t be able to tell what your stash was or get into it right away. So, you have a little thumbprint reader snuff box that can hold four doses of impact in it. Actually, it can hold eight doses of impact. It looks like Quiggle’s been partying lately.

LAURA: Okay good, because I already had some.

NICK: Yeah, so it can hold a decent amount. That’s what you find on the bodies. What else does anybody want to do?

CAMERON: Karma’s going to drop down next to Tiny and start applying pressure to one of his wounds.

NICK: He is bleeding. It doesn’t look like he’s gushing blood. He’ll probably be okay, but he appreciates the medical assistance. Would you like to make me a Medicine check?


NICK: It is average, because he is not unconscious.

CAMERON: Okay, that’s three successes!

NICK: Three successes! So he gets three wounds back. That actually—You’re able to stop all the bleeding, get him patched up, he is by no means in fighting shape but he is not going to go septic or anything.


NICK: Good work. Why would Karma know how to do like field medicine? Tell me about a time that happened.

CAMERON: So, when she’s most often used it is when she’s going after a mark and there’s another bounty hunter going after the same mark. With Felton Mox in the first episode where he got shot by the other bounty hunter, it’s either that situation or the other bounty hunter is like I don’t care, I’d rather get them both dead than have her take him in alive, so the mark will get damaged. It’s keeping the mark alive until we get to the drop point.

NICK: Right. So, very business-like, not really paying attention to people’s comfort so much.

CAMERON: Yep. But then also, she was paired up with her sons. She’s probably being nicer to Tiny then she would be to just a random person she was bringing in, because he’s tugging heartstrings by just being young.

NICK: Right. When you were going on missions with your sons was one of them more of a medical specialist?


NICK: Since clearly you weren’t super trained in it.

CAMERON: Yes. My son Jet is much smarter than me.

NICK: Oh, okay, so he was the medic guy. Okay, cool. Tiny gets patched up. “Well, th-thanks. I’m gonna leave, because honestly it’s a little bit more jarring than I expected to see you patting through the pockets of my dead friends.” He’s just kinda staring at Xianna.

LAURA: “Um, sorry, but you know… They did shoot at us, and they are dead…”

NICK: “Yeah, it’s the space pirate code, I understand. It’s just having a little bit more of an emotional impact than I expected. I’m gonna go back to the Quarren Quagmire and take off. I’ll have to meet up with the rest of the crew, and… I guess figure out what we’re doing. But I’m the captain now, right?” He gives a weak smile.

CAMERON: “Since you’re the captain now, do you want his tri-cornered hat?”

NICK: “Oh, yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” He goes and picks it up and it’s dripping with blood a little bit, so he has to wring it out and it’s kind of misshapen. He kinda pats it back into shape and puts it onto his head. “Well, I think it’s sort of a work in process,” and he wipes some charred ash off of it, “but it is important, so thanks for the advice there.” A little rivulet of blood runs down his temple dripping out of the hat. He wipes it off and it leaves a smear on his face. “So, yeah, it’s pretty good, I guess. Yeah, this is, this is…” He looks at Quiggle and gulps. “Yeah, this is awesome. Thanks for, whatever, not killing me. That’s important. I’m gonna go now. Byeee.”

HUDSON: “You’re welcome.”

NICK: He does finger guns at Tink and backs cautiously into the shadows.

CAMERON: Oh, karma walks after him, and starts sharing life advice, and shares contact information.

NICK: You’re gonna have to give me some actual life advice. You don’t get to just make a \broad statement\ like that.

CAMERON: Oh damn! Uh, let’s see. Not getting shot is a good one. Getting cover, I noticed he didn’t get that.

NICK: “Okay so, take cover… Well, so, I figured like the auto-turret was gonna be a lot more helpful, but…”

CAMERON: “Maybe next time though if you set up the auto-turret so it’s in front of one of the barrels, and you can be behind the barrel, just to kind of block you, because if you have the situation again where you throw the target and it doesn’t hit then it kind of leaves you open as you’re then the one with the big gun.”

NICK: “Yeah, that makes sense.” You guys are walking through the shadows, and probably 50 yards away around a small corner, in like an actual parking spot instead of the middle of the thing, you see an angular freighter. It looks like some form of YT but like a weird off-brand one. It’s kind of shaped like a croissant. So, he’s walking towards that. “Well, yeah I guess cover would be a good idea. Duly noted. Thank you for that.”

CAMERON: “Yep. I really hope you achieve your hopes and dreams.”

NICK: “Thanks That’s… This got a little weird. Uh, thanks for not shooting me. You almost did. I could see you thinking about it, so… I guess we’re friends now. Cool. I… If you ever need anything, call on Quiggle’s Crew—or I guess it’s Tiny’s Crew now.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, are you gonna rename that?”

NICK: “Yeah, Tiny’s… Tiny’s Terrible… Tallahassee… that’s not a thing.”

CAMERON: “Tango!”

NICK: “Tango?”

CAMERON: “Tiny’s Terrible Tallahassee Tango!”

NICK: “Oh gosh. What’s a Tallahassee?”

CAMERON: (laughs) “I don’t know. You said it.”

NICK: “Mmm…”

CAMERON: “I thought it had some sort of significance for you for you to have said it.”

NICK: “Yeah, it’s my mom’s name. I forgot.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay. So that makes sense.”

NICK: “I think I’ve lost more blood than I thought I did.”

CAMERON: “Okay, so you can call your ship the Tallahassee after your mom, I guess.”

NICK: “…Yeah.”

CAMERON: “That seems really sweet.”

NICK: “Yeah… I think it might be the Tallahassee Quagmire. We gotta remember our roots.”

CAMERON: “True, true.”

NICK: At this point he’s hitting a panel on the croissant-shaped ship and the ramp is dropping down. He starts to limp up. From the inside you can see a very large Wookie kind of leaning down on the ramp and it makes a Wookie noise. (low groan)

CAMERON: Hahaha!

NICK: (smiling) I can’t do that. You can see Tiny turn around and say, “It’s a really long story. I’ll explain on the way out of here.” And there’s more Wookie noises. (low groan)

CAMERON: (Chewbacca sounds)

NICK: Oh, that’s way better. Do it again.

CAMERON: (Chewbacca noises)

NICK: Yeah, that’s good. “No, it’s fine. I… Look. He fell behind. You know the pirate’s code.” The ship stars to go (rushing and clicking noises), and you hear the engine start to cycle up. Great.

CAMERON: I walk back.

NICK: Cool. Sabos is bleeding out on the ground.

CAMERON: Sabos is still laying there! (laughs)

HUDSON: “Should we do something about him?”

CAMERON: “Yeah. Hey Tink, come here.”

HUDSON: I come over.

NICK: Okay. Are you gonna take him back to the ship, or just work on him out in the open?

CAMERON: Let’s go back to the ship.

HUDSON: I pick him up.

LAURA: “I think we need to make up some lost time.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. We can fix him on our way to Ithor.”

HUDSON: “You got it.” I carry him to the ship, and then get in the cockpit.

STEVEN: (distant coughing noises)

CAMERON: Yup. (laughs)

NICK: Okay. We get a side wipe, and we get like two side by side screens. We get one of somebody piloting, which I guess would be Karma probably.

CAMERON: So, Karma would probably have Tink help with the Astrogation check and then would take over piloting.

NICK: Right. We’ll skip the Astrogation part, because it’ll make the story better. So, it’s you flipping switches and starting to take off, and then it’s still a bedroom, like a weird 70s sheik hotel room, but the bed is not a water bed and has just plain white sheets on it, and it has like a linoleum floor, so you guys have used this as your kind of medical suite. We see Sabos laid out on the bed. You got a big slash across your chest from where you got hit, and some blaster bolt wounds, and you’re shirtless. Is Sabos in good shape?


NICK: Yeah? So you got that Hollywood shot of the injured, but still very attractive, torso. Just the torso, your head’s cut off of it. (laughter) Oh, and then you hear Tink rummaging around, and a single head tail falls into the frame off the side of the bed, and jiggles a little bit, because it has to be gross because it’s Sabos. So, the camera pans out and we see Sabos on the bed. Is Xianna helping with the medicine stuff, or did she just leave Tink to it?

LAURA: Xianna like has a drink and is sitting on a night table next to the bed, and is watching, and is just… She’s not really helping. She doesn’t really know too many medical things, which is why she tends to carry stim packs, and she’s just hoping she doesn’t have to use one on Sabos.

NICK: Okay. We’re gonna cut real quick to a weird, hazy dream sequence. Sabos is having a flashback while he is unconscious.

LAURA: Ooh, ooh! Xianna wants to be the scarecrow. (laughter) And Tink can be the cowardly lion, and then I guess…

CAMERON: I’d be the tin man.

NICK: I feel like Karma’s probably Dorothy.


CAMERON: Sabos is the scarecrow!

LAURA: Sabos is the scarecrow in his own dream sequence!

STEVEN: This is my story.

CAMERON: Yeah, exactly. If you wanna be the scarecrow, you can be the scarecrow.

NICK: So, it actually is probably more like plot and character relevant than this bit that we’re doing right now, but—

LAURA: Oh, so he’s the dog. He’s Toto.

NICK: Sabos, what is going on in this flashback of yours? What does your ‘I’m injured and dying’ dream sequence look like?

STEVEN: So, I wake up in a hut on Shili, and well, you know there’s the rest of the schoolkids, the nice Shilian schoolkids, and then the concerned parents—not my parents, just the concerned Shilian schoolkid parents—looking over me saying, “You better wake up. You’ll be alright. We need you to wake up.” As it turns out, I mean, there’s another schoolkid next to me. Just don’t know what happened, right.

(distant giggling)

So, yeah, you know, pack instincts are very important in Togruta culture, so we were practicing our packing, which would be fighting other Togrutas because yeah Shili, and you know it got a little bit too real and I got pretty beat up. That’s when I decided I didn’t want to have anything to do with the pack instinct culture on Shili.

NICK: Cool. So, we see you as I guess a small seven year old Sabos. You always kind of punched people?

STEVEN: Yeah, yeah.

NICK: Never really got along. That was the beginning of you deciding that maybe this pack instinct wasn’t the way to go, when you were practicing fighting and got knocked out, and also knocked out the other kid.

STEVEN: Yes. I got knocked out harder.

CAMERON: That fourth head tail just flew and just smacked him on his way down.

STEVEN: To be clear, he was okay.

NICK: Well, that’s what happened. He got a head injury and it caused the fourth head tail to grow.


LAURA: Whoaaa.

STEVEN: The other kid was okay. He was just a little bit dazed and confused, but I got my ass kicked pretty darn hard, and wasn’t cool with it.

NICK: And then, because this is like a post-traumatic flashback, the camera pans out and there’s just like a Quentin Tarantino amount of blood everywhere.

STEVEN: Just like a kid on top of me beating the living crap out of my fourth head tail specifically. (laughter) They didn’t like me—They picked on me in all the reindeer games. Okay?

LAURA: Sabos used to have five head tails…


NICK: Oh, please no… Yeah, so the camera pans out. There’s a ton of blood. The older adult Togrutans grow long fangs and smoke starts to go everywhere, and the camera jump cuts back out to Tink standing over this compatriot of yours who is not bleeding so much anymore, but you’re pretty sure it’s because they’re running out of blood to fall out.

HUDSON: “You got blood all over the nice sheets.”


LAURA: “He cannot hear you.”

HUDSON: “Oh, no. I’m just saying this to him anyway.”

LAURA: “Okie. Are you going to, you know, heal him?”

HUDSON: I think on my medical experience… Non-existent. “Sure. I’ll heal him.”


LAURA: Yeah, but you’re smart. You can figure it out.

HUDSON: Yeah, I’m smart. I can figure it out. “It’s basically mechanics, right?”

LAURA: “Sure.”

CAMERON: You hear over the com, “Just picture the body as a machine.”

HUDSON: “Great. Alright, get my toolbox.”

NICK: So, a Medical check for someone who is unconscious is going to be hard difficulty.

STEVEN: Like the fourth head tail.

LAURA: You don’t have Medicine, so it’s just gonna be your Intelligence.

NICK: It’s an Intelligence check. You can flip light side points to make yourself better at this. You can explain why you deserve blue dice.

HUDSON: “I deserve blue dice because I’m Being Brave.” (laughter)

LAURA: Xianna’s like flipping through data pads. “Ooh, that muscle connects to this one,” and like holding up the data pad a little bit. “Okie, so this is how you do it, I think.”

CAMERON: We’re using Technology to assist.

NICK: Okay. The camera’s definitely gonna go over Xianna’s shoulder and this “medical text” that she’s looking at looks a lot like Ikea assembly instructions. It’s just like very cartoony pictures, and in a box on the side there’s a scalpel, and then like an arrow going to the wound with like an X over it.

LAURA: They don’t have scalpels in Star Wars!

NICK: It’s like a space scalpel.

LAURA: It’s those little sticks that just shoot lasers.

NICK: … Oh yeah.

CAMERON: It’s a little baby laser stick.

NICK: It’s like a light saber scalpel.


NICK: It seals as it cuts, because that’s what you want a scalpel to do.

LAURA: I mean, maybe.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: So, you can get a blue die from Xianna sort of helping.


NICK: Yeah, go for it.

HUDSON: Alright.

NICK: Wow, that’s pretty good.

HUDSON: Is it just one success?


NICK: Oh, then it’s not very good.

LAURA & CAMERON: One success.

NICK: Okay. You manage to stabilize him. You start using medical supplies, and then half way through you pull out a wrench because you’re more comfortable with it and just start using that to like apply pressure to things, and for some reason it kind of works. So, you’re at negative six now.


CAMERON: (laughing nervously) You’re getting there.

LAURA: Xianna just like sees him pulling out the wrench, sighs, walks over and like digs through her pockets, and just shoots him up with two stim packs.

NICK: Okay. So that gets you up to…

LAURA: The first one would be five, the second one would then be four.

NICK: So you’re at three. You’re positive. You wake up.

STEVEN: (gasps and coughs) “Shili…”

LAURA: “You owe me two stim packs!”

STEVEN: “Only two?”

NICK: Three now, right?

LAURA: “No, three! I forgot about the first one.”

STEVEN: “Two stim packs.”

HUDSON: “You owe me your life.”

LAURA: “Three stim packs.”

STEVEN: “Two stim packs.”

LAURA: “Mm… Close enough.”

NICK: So, Sabos is still in pretty bad shape.

STEVEN: “Where are we?”

NICK: I’ll say because it was a hard difficulty your critical wound was also fixed. That’s mostly what Tink was doing. You had a pretty nasty head wound, and maybe a piece of bone kind of out of place in your skull, like a skull fracture, and that’s what he used the wrench to kind of tap back into place. So, you’re in a lot of pain still, but you feel mobile, able to do something gat least.

STEVEN: “More importantly, who’s flying this ship?”

HUDSON: “I’m flying it, but first Sabos-“

LAURA: “N-No… Karma. Karma.”

CAMERON: “That would be me. I’m flying the ship.”

HUDSON: “Oh, currently.”

STEVEN: “Do I just hear that over the com?”

CAMERON: “You just hear it over the coms. Yeah.”

STEVEN: I say loudly, as loud as I can, (through coughs) “I’m the captain now.”

CAMERON: “If that makes you feel better, sweetie. Sure.”

STEVEN: “…Okay.” I pretend to fly, just laying on the table.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, she is the co-pilot, and we are, you know, in hyperspace. There is not much to do.”

STEVEN: I still have my hands out, like upward on the table, as if I’m grabbing the yolk to fly.

LAURA: “Okie, sure.”

NICK: Around this point, yeah. As you say we’re in hyperspace, Karma, you get the ship out of the little asteroid belt aimed in the right direction and hit the lever, and go flying off. I’m assuming you’re going to Ithor. Right?


NICK: Okay. We’re gonna fly to Ithor. So, the ship is going to take a few days to get there. You’re going from the outer rim. Fun fact, Ithor is located in the mid rim, and it’s on the wrong side of the hub from you, so it’s gonna be quite a trip. The good news is it’s very well populated and the routes are very well documented, so it’s pretty easy to get there but it’s not like there’s a lot of shortcuts or anything.
So, you guys have some time, a couple of days. What do you guys do?

LAURA: So, the first time everyone’s all together, Xianna sits down and is like, “Okie. So, what did we learn?”

STEVEN: “Don’t get shot.”

LAURA: “Open the briefcase before the handover.”

STEVEN: “Oh, that too.”

LAURA: “Uh-huh. Everyone? Uh-huh.”

HUDSON: “Uh… Eh..”

STEVEN: “Getting shot is bad.”

HUDSON: “I will agree that I think all of us learned something today.”

CAMERON: “What is the proper protocol if you open the briefcase and it is empty?”

STEVEN: “Put something in it.”

CAMERON: “Do you then just not ever continue, or do you put something else in the briefcase?”

LAURA: “You just don’t deliver it, and then you call up who gave you the briefcase, and you yell at them. A lot. It works sometimes.”

STEVEN: “What happens the other times?”

LAURA: “Uh, the person who gave you the briefcase tries to kill you.”

STEVEN: “Oh, okay.”

CAMERON: “That would be why you’re comming them then, so it’d be more difficult to kill you right then…”

LAURA: “No no no. Not the people you are giving the briefcase to, that would be empty and then they shoot you. The person that gave you the briefcase to give.”

CAMERON: “Yes, you then com them, and they try to kill you eventually, but you’re not there because you commed them, so they have to track you down.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “I mean, is slightly better than the people that are physically there with you shooting you. It gives you more time.”

CAMERON: “Okay. I’m much more comfortable with the people coming after me scenario of that. I know how to deal with that.”

NICK: Also, where is this scene happening? Are you all in the hot tub?


CAMERON: (laughing) Yes…


LAURA: Definitely in the hot tub. I don’t know if anyone else is in the hot tub. Xianna is in the hot tub.

HUDSON: I think we left Sabos in the medical area and took a dip.

LAURA: There’s like chairs he can be…

STEVEN: I can limp.

NICK: He’s got like his feet in, but he doesn’t want to get blood into all the hot water, so he’s just—

STEVEN: Open wounds, and hot water, and infections, yeah.

NICK: He’s just sitting with his feet in the hot tub, yeah.

STEVEN: And one head tail. Every now and then I dip one head tail.

CAMERON: Oh, gross. “Okay, next steps. We need to come up with a plan for this blockade.”

LAURA: “We should probably try to fake our credentials.”

STEVEN: “Or you can say you have an injured Togruta.”

CAMERON: “Honestly, I don’t think they’d care.”

LAURA: “Um, it is the Empire. They will not care.”

STEVEN: “They might know this injured Togruta.”

LAURA: “And then we would all be arrested.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I don’t understand how that’s helpful.”

STEVEN: “You could turn in the injured Togruta.” (coughs)

CAMERON: “Don’t think I haven’t considered it.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, do you know how much you are worth?”

STEVEN: (nervous, stumbling) “Negative… really…”

CAMERON: “I can look it up.”

NICK: You can look it up, actually. That’s a thing you know.

LAURA: (gasps)

CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: Can we look up what everyone is worth?

NICK: Sure. Yeah, we can do that. We’ll say that the Afternoon Delight has a self-updating holo-net uplink, so whenever you’re parked not in hyperspace it pulls certain websites for info. So, it does that. You’re looking at like cached websites off of Google.
One of them is Bounty Boards. That makes a lot of sense. You have the credentials for it. It’s like being a notary – when you’re a bounty hunter you get certain rights and privileges as afforded your positon. So, you can just look it up, honestly. If you were trying to find information on somebody you didn’t already know or help track someone down with the info, it would probably be either a Computers or Skullduggery. Probably Computers, honestly.

LAURA: My guess is that there’s like… I’m thinking of the MSI system where you can put in like, I want a 2,000 square foot house with three bedrooms. They have that for bounties where you can like put in their species, and then you put in like what age range you think they are, and like identifying marks, and then it pulls up a list of all the people who match that so you can try and find who you were getting.

CAMERON: I also probably have the reverse, like, I’m currently located on Ithor. What bounties are near me? It’s like the Restaurants Near Me function in Google Maps.

LAURA: You move your little dot around, and you’re like, Bounties Near Me!

CAMERON: Five mile radius.

STEVEN: Uh, I can be found under fourth head tail.

CAMERON: No, but if like you’re searching for a specific name…

NICK: So, if you pull up Sabos, he is a pretty small fish. You’ll remember he owes the Empire like a 150,000 Credits which in the grand scheme of things isn’t a ton especially since the person he owes that to doesn’t really want it getting out. So, he has the Imperial equivalent of a parking ticket. He has like, Disturbing the Peace and Racketeering, which—

CAMERON: Boring.

NICK: For the Star Wars universe is Most people. So, it’s like a 2,000 Credit bounty.

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: It’s not that much. He is in the system, but there’s no picture of him and most of the stuff is blank. His name, Sabos Niks is in there. The way the system works it has different tiers of notoriety and stuff, so one of the things it’ll do is the names will get linked through the network for like known aliases and stuff like that so they’re more likely to show up in the search. I gotta be careful making up computer shit with who I’m sitting at the table with, but we’re gonna say this is how it works. The more notorious they are, the more important they are, the more likely they’ll pop up on related searches. ‘Those who hunted Sabos Niks also hunted…’


Sabos has no connections, it’s just him, so unless somebody specifically already had him or was looking for him, which they probably wouldn’t because he’s pretty cheap, he’s not gonna show up. So, he’s not very notorious, it’s unlikely people are gonna pull him on a related search, he’s not worth very much, but the Empire knows who he is.

CAMERON: Okay. I’m gonna look up everybody else too, (laughs) since I’m in here.

LAURA: Once she looks up Sabos, Xianna starts bouncing. “Ooh, ooh! Look me up! I want to see.”

LAURA & CAMERON: ‘Me next! Me next!’ (giggles)

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: “You will want to search for Xianna’fan…”


LAURA: “…and we will go from there!”

NICK: Alright. You pull up Xianna, and there’s a mugshot photo of her. Ooh, what would the background on an Imperial mugshot be?

HUDSON: Laura already drew it.

LAURA: Well, I just drew a very standard…

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: My guess is it would be either white, a steel blue, or just kind of a mat gray metal.

NICK: Yeah, so I think you’re right. It’s probably like a blue steel background, because this happened when you got arrested at a local area. It’s not like in a major holding facility. It’s someone’s backwoods jail kind of situation. The picture is you smiling and making the peace sign at the camera, and you look absolutely unworried, absolutely unphased.

LAURA: “I do not remember which one that was…”

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Can I look up where that mugshot came from, specifically?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: I wanna know which one of her arrests was that mugshot.

LAURA: Xianna’s just sitting there mumbling to herself. “That definitely was not the doorway incident. Was that… I think maybe that was just standard burglary. Huh…”

NICK: So Laura, this particular one, kind of like a backwoods arrest, probably one of your earlier ones…

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: What happened with Xianna? Where was the photo taken?

LAURA: I think it was just a local station, a trooper outpost. I think what I had tried to do was seduce some low-level politician, sneak into their house, and steal goods and information to then later sell, and I probably just tripped an alarm. It was probably a silent alarm and I didn’t realize it, and then also the person came home, and it was just like, “Oh, um, hello. I thought you would be gone. Uh… Do you want pancakes?”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: We get another shot from the flashback of you doing something, getting caught, and then looking up and making eye contact with a pretty obvious security camera and making the exact same face that happened in your prologue where you realize you’ve been made and now you just have to figure out what to do about it.
Okay, so, where was that though?


NICK: Pick a planet, any planet.

LAURA: Corellia.

NICK: Corellia? You spent a lot of time bouncing around there?

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Okay. If that’s the case, then it actually says on the website Coresec sub files on it, and you recognize that steel background. It’s very distinctive of small Corellian holding patterns. It’s like a drunk tank, basically, but they use it for not just drunk people. It’s people who are in holding until they post their very small bail or their court date happens. There’s that, but under the picture there’s a pretty long list of misdemeanors, solicitation, because you figured out it was easier to get busted for solicitation and pretend you were being a prostitute than what you were actually doing, which was trying to rob people.

LAURA: Oh, yeah. Xianna’s definitely figured that out. ‘Ohh, if they think I’m a prostitute they just let me go… They usually don’t even check my pockets…’

NICK: Yup. So there’s a lot of solicitation things. You see that there is some burglary, but it all seems to be minor theft, and then there’s a lot of alleged things or skipped bails or warrants out in various places. The list is a little hard to read. It’s got—not the same thing as Sabos where nothing’s linked, but it’s obvious that the system’s a little messed up because a bunch of it is CorSec but then there’s some Imperial stuff and those systems don’t mesh real well, so whoever was looking for her would have some problems. She’s like a 5,000 Credit bounty. It’s solid.

CAMERON: “Hey, you’re worth more than Sabos.”

STEVEN: When we discover that I say, “Oh, you’re a bad girl?”

LAURA: (exasperated laughs)

STEVEN: “You like bad boys?”

LAURA: Xianna’s just like, “I will shoot you.”

STEVEN: (laughs) “That’s what the thing said.”

HUDSON: “Look me up!”


CAMERON: Okay. I look up Tink.

NICK: Tink’s not in there, at all.

HUDSON: I knew it.

NICK: What’s Tink’s holo-net alias?

LAURA: “Do you have any fake names?”

HUDSON: “StarDestroyer1.”


LAURA: “Yes. Look up StarDestroyer1!”

NICK: So, StarDestroyer1, it looks like a default Facebook profile. It’s got just the outline picture silhouette. It says StarDestroyer1, it says Alleged Low-Level Slicer, and that’s it. It says Insert Allegations Here, Insert Warrants Here, like it’s all mostly blanked out. So, he’s either an amazing slicer who’s cracked the CorSec and Imperial systems, or he’s done not very much and he’s not in there, and it’s hard to tell.

LAURA: It could be either one. (gasps) “Karma! Are you worth anything?”

CAMERON: “I don’t think so.”

LAURA: “Look it up!”

CAMERON: I look myself up.

NICK: Yeah, so you have a full profile, but it’s all accolades. You’re not wanted for anything. There were a couple of removed threats. There are some dismissed allegations that you can see like grayed out with lines through them, and it’s some violence charges that got thrown out, some disturbing the peace charges that got thrown out, things that you may have collected as a bounty hunter that you either got dismissed or got overturned due to lack of evidence, but no, you’re squeaky clean. It actually links to another database which is of bounty hunters, and your profile there—it looks like LinkedIn. It’s all like, pretty, and it’s like, Qualifications, Known Associates, and there’s little pictures of your two twin sons below yours in the contacts thing. The weird thing if you are looking over Karma’s shoulder is the Known Associates tab maxes out. It just keeps going, way past, it just says 99+ and it runs out.

CAMERON: And then if you look at the Friend Requests it’s like also maxed out.

HUDSON: What a socialite.

CAMERON: But I can’t add more people to my profile, so. (laughs)

NICK: Yeah. Well, it’s not like the bounty hunter social media. That would be… Oh. Bounty hunter social media pun, guys?

LAURA: BountyBook.

NICK: FaceBounty?

LAURA: Mm… My Bounty.

NICK: … SpaceBase. SpaceHunt.

HUDSON: iBounty.

NICK: Egh, that just sounds like electronic paper towels.

LAURA: HuntersOnly.


NICK:, that’s it!

STEVEN: That’s what it is.

LAURA: Great.

NICK: is a different thing. This is just the Imperial records thing, so it has basically—you’ve maxed out its thing. If you go to, which you do have a profile—you don’t look at it very much, but a lot of people are really into it. I think the twins made you a profile at one point.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: That one is just totally full of stuff. There’s a bunch of people that you don’t even know that wanna be friends with you. That one’s really maxed out. But as far as this one, you just have a lot of known associates in the bounty hunting world.

LAURA: Going back to mine, how many like known aliases were listed on mine?

NICK: We’ll say six known aliases. What were they, Laura?

LAURA: Oh, and I have to write them down. Okay.

CAMERON: So we know not to use them.

LAURA: So I know, yeah, what they are.

HUDSON: Chris Angel.

NICK: Felicia Day.

HUDSON: Kate Bush.

LAURA: Yeah, there’s Felicia…

CAMERON: I feel like Xianna only ever gives first names.

LAURA: Yeah. There’s like, and it’s like, with a P-H.



LAURA: P-H-T-I-F-F. (giggles)

CAMERON: (laughing) Oh, that’s not what I was thinking it was.

NICK: ‘Pa-tiff’

LAURA: No, no, it’s T-I-P-H Tiff, there’s Roxie, Sion with an S, ooh the Lia would probably have a last name.

HUDSON: Alia Keys. (laughter) That makes me feel weird, not saying the name right.

STEVEN: Me too.

LAURA: I’m trying to think of the Twi’lek last names. There’s Lia Fortuna.

NICK: That works.


CAMERON: Oh yeah. Is Serene listed?

LAURA: Serene probably wouldn’t be.

CAMERON: I’m just wondering if Falx updated the entries.

LAURA: Ooh. Yeah.

NICK: Uh, no.

CAMERON: Or if he just knew it was a purple Twi’lek and didn’t specifically know it was Xianna.

NICK: Mmm…

CAMERON: Because I’m assuming she didn’t give her real name to the other guy either.

NICK: So I’ll say Serene is not listed on here. That’s all I’ll say about that.

CAMERON: Okay. Don’t use that one either. (laughs)

NICK: I’m going to avoid talking about my NPCs without them being in the room.

LAURA: And then the last one is Moa’tel.

NICK: Moa’tel.


CAMERON: Mo-tel.

NICK: Tell me Moa.

HUDSON: Like where you take your clients?

CAMERON: Yeah, motel.

HUDSON: To the motel?

NICK: Hotel. Holiday Inn.


LAURA: And then, how many arrests do you say are on there? Because I know I’ve been arrested a number of times, but how many do you think?

NICK: I think you’ve probably been arrested a few times, a handful of times. This particular database doesn’t register that. It’s only like the legal proceedings and stuff. So, that is not on there. You did say earlier that you’ve been arrested at least four times.

LAURA: At least.

NICK: At least. And the first planet that you all went to had been one of them, so that’s not a great sign.


STEVEN & CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: It’ll be fine.

HUDSON: “So, I have an idea for us getting through the barrier.”

CAMERON: “Go for it.”

HUDSON: “Alright. I think I can rig some credentials and send out a distress signal acting like this is from a very important vessel and that we have a high ranking official that we’ll disguise Sabos as, and he’ll be you know injured and looking in bad shape, and they’ll let us through so that we can immediately get him to the medical area, but then as we’re getting taken to the medical area we’ll overpower them and then get into the ship deeper.”

CAMERON: “We’re not trying to get into the ship. We’re trying to get to the planet.”

HUDSON: “Oh, sorry.”

CAMERON: “We just need to get past the blockade.”

LAURA: “So, similar concept. We say we are a political transport ship, and trying to get to the planet, and we have fake credentials.”

HUDSON: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “I am an ambassador.”

LAURA: “I don’t think that is true, but…”

HUDSON: He plays one on TV.

STEVEN: “It’s laminated, damn it.”

CAMERON: “We also learned that Osaron does not have the best relationship with the Empire at the moment.”

STEVEN: “Ehhh.”

CAMERON: “You are listed as having a bounty. Your badge does nothing for you right now.”

STEVEN: “Ehhh.”

LAURA: “I also have had laminated badges before. They can be faked.”

STEVEN: “We made this on Osaron.”

CAMERON: “Goodness.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

CAMERON: “Things I could help you with, Tink, on the     creating fake credentials and getting through… I have the low clearance code cylinder from Duelson, and then he also told us that the low frequencies are easier to sneak through than the high.”

HUDSON: “Alright. I can program that.” I program that.

CAMERON: (laughs) I hand over the code cylinder.

NICK: Okay, so, while you’re flying to Ithor you’re going to try to forge low class Imperial credentials. That’s what you’re trying to do?


CAMERON: If you could then make it so that we don’t show up on their scanners too, that would be better, but having the credentials in place in case we don’t make it through…

HUDSON: Okay. I try the credentials first.

NICK: Okay. For the credentials it’s going to be hard. You can have a blue die because you know about the low frequency thing. You can upgrade one die because you have the code cylinder to work off of. You also have two black die, because the last time you tried to hack a Star Destroyer you left your signature, StarDestroyer1, over a bunch of stuff. Or, I think you put ‘leet hacker.’

HUDSON: I have Bypass Security. Remove a black die rank from checks made to disable a security device or open a security door. Oh, no. Per rank of code breaker—I don’t do codebreaker right now. I can reroll if I want.

NICK: Cool. Great. What’s that, once per session?

HUDSON: yes, once per session.

CAMERON: You need two black dice.

HUDSON: Four successes, two threats.

NICK: Okay. Your threats are gonna get spent. You are always pretty careful when you’re forging stuff. You pretty much do the forgery, go back and redo it, and then double check everything. So, you’re able to get something made that avoids activating that little boobytrap about they know what your signature is. The threats are you don’t figure out that signature is in their database, so you include it. The stuff is gonna work, you got four successes, it’s solid. The credentials themselves will not be suspect in any way, but you’re still gonna have this issue the next time you try to hack a Star Destroyer. They know there’s someone who’s been able to get through their system.


NICK: So, yeah. You make some solid ass ship credentials for like Petty navy Officer, I don’t know. What do you name your guy?

HUDSON: George Jetson.

NICK: George Jetson. (laughter) Petty navy Officer George Jetson gets made. Yeah. You got it, it’s got a picture on it. It’s actually a picture of Sabos, but a human Sabos.


NICK: Like, the head tails are gone, and you photoshopped it around a little bit, so it looks pretty believable as long as they don’t like see Sabos in person. So, you have got some credentials.

HUDSON: Mm-hmm. Alright! I high-five Karma.


LAURA: Nice.

STEVEN: “I make a good Imperial. … Oh, shit, uh—(garbled speech)

CAMERON: “Can you turn off our camera so that when we get hailed it’s voice only from our side?”

HUDSON: “Yeah. I can make it break accidentally.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

LAURA: “None of us are human.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. If they see any of us this isn’t gonna work.”

HUDSON: I break the camera.

NICK: Oh, you just break it?

LAURA: “No, you don’t have to break it!”

CAMERON: I wanted you to like remove the wire so that we can—(laughter)

HUDSON: “It’s now too late. The camera’s broken.”

LAURA: “You just had to disable it. Ugh.”

NICK: So, Karma and Tink are standing up front, you have that conversation. You go, oh yeah, and take out a wrench and go whack whack whack, and punch a little hole in the dashboard.

CAMERON: (sighs) Okay…

STEVEN: That makes me twitch a little bit when I see him take out the wrench, and I don’t really know why.

HUDSON: The blood loss.

STEVEN: Yeah, you know, the head fixing wrench.

CAMERON: “Alright. Then do we wanna try and set us up to not show up on scans?”

HUDSON: “I’ll go for it.” I go for it.

NICK: Alright. How are you trying to not show up on scans? What exactly are you trying to do? Normally you would do that with a highly specialized stealth suite that is military only and extremely expensive.

HUDSON: Actually, we don’t want to do that, because that’s actually suspicious if we’re acting like we’re a real ship, like a real envoy.

NICK: That’s true.

HUDSON: So, I don’t do that.

NICK: That would be like trying to sneak into somewhere and then when they get there be like, oh hi, I’m your cousin, nice to see you.

CAMERON: Oh, did we have that turned on? Whoops.

NICK: Yeah. I mean, you could pull it off, it would just be difficult.

STEVEN: Did we the petty officer have that device on the ship? Yeah, that’s normal I’m sure.

NICK: Yeah, you’d be able to talk your way through it, it just wouldn’t be easy. So, cool. You guys are set up, and you have a way to try to spoof your way past the blockade and get down to planet, and that’s where we’ll end the episode.

(all make dramatic noises)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 7 Shootout At the Space Rock Corral

PDF download: Episode 7 Shootout At the Space Rock Corral

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript

Season 1 Episode 7: “Shootout At The Space Rock Corral”

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your Game Master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy, helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

We return this week to our regularly scheduled programming. Thanks for sticking with us during our Jedi Adventures.

I have a big announcement. We are looking for some constructive feedback, and have made a short two minute survey. There’s a link in the notes for the episode and on our Twitter. If you’ve listened to the show, which you are, swing by and let us know how we’re doing. This is your chance to shape the media you listen to, and everything’s anonymous, so no pressure.

I want to thank HungryMan174 for their iTunes review. You are a shining star against the dark tyranny of us… not having enough iTunes reviews. Remember everyone, if you get to 20 iTunes reviews we’ll be releasing a flashback starring Karma and her twin boys. It was a blast to record and we want to share it, so tell your friends to review the show.

Thanks for tuning in, and I hope you enjoy.


NICK: Hello everybody, and welcome to Episode 7 of Tabletop Squadron. Welcome back. We’ve been doing this for quite a while now. We’re gonna go around the table, and everybody introduce yourselves and say who you are playing, starting with Steven.

STEVEN: Hi, I’m Steven.

NICK: Hi Steven.

STEVEN: Hi Nick. I’m playing—

NICK: How are you?

STEVEN: … Now I’m super confused. I am both playing Sabos good doing well who’s a Togruta pretty well and I haven’t spent any experience. I’m okay.


NICK: Great. Cool. (laughing) And next up, we have Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi Nick. I’m Hudson, and I’m playing a Gigoran named Tink.

NICK: Good for you.

HUDSON: Good for me.

NICK: We’re all very proud.

HUDSON: Thank you.

NICK: And, Cameron.



CAMERON: I’m Cameron.

NICK: Good to meet you.

CAMERON: (laughs) Right. I’m playing Karma, the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Yay.

LAURA: Have you two not met before?


NICK: This is the first time. The previous episodes was a different name.

LAURA: Wow, that wedding must have been really awkward.

CAMERON: Yeah, it was an arranged marriage. I regret it.

STEVEN: Nick, meet my friend Cameron.

NICK: Oh, hi. Good to see you.

CAMERON: I’m new here. I just came with Steven.

NICK: Oh boy. I’m gonna have to delete all of this.


NICK: Last up, we have Laura.

LAURA: Hi, I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Horray. Good job being professional and getting through it without getting distra—

LAURA: Dicks!


NICK: Great. Off to a great start.

LAURA: Leave, that, in.

NICK: It’s gonna be in.

STEVEN: That’s what she said—Ohh.


LAURA: Don’t leave that in.

HUDSON: Leave that one in too.

LAURA: That’s also what she said. All of it.

CAMERON: Who are you, Nick?

NICK: Oh, I’m Nick. I’m the GM. I do everybody else.

STEVEN: Have you met Cameron?

NICK: Oh, hey Cameron, good to meet you.

CAMERON: (giggling) Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Weird, we have the same last name.

NICK: Oh yeah.

STEVEN: That’s awkward.

NICK: Okay. Well, we have now established that we are all friends who know each other, so now we can get started in Star Wars. And, by getting started in Star Wars, of course I mean the Destiny Roll.

STEVEN: Ah yes, destiny.

NICK: Ah-ha. A great RPG shooter.


LAURA: Two light side points! Ha-ha.

STEVEN: Two dark side.

HUDSON: Two dark side points from me.

CAMERON: Get your shit together.

HUDSON: I’m sorry!

STEVEN: Ooh, another light side point.

CAMERON: One dark side.

HUDSON: And, so it’s even.

STEVEN: Yep, three light side, three dark side.

STEVEN: Better than last game.


CAMERON: Yes, much better than last.

NICK: We are neutral, which is appropriate for where we’re starting.
If you remember, when we last left off you finally got off of Unroola Dawn after killing some Imperial officers, learning some interesting facts about Xianna’s criminal past and Sabos’s also criminal past.

STEVEN: Just inept.

NICK: Inept past, we’ll go with that. You made a decision to smuggle more than just the things you originally had come to procure, and you got off of the planet. That’s where we’re gonna start this time. You’ll remember that you got a notification that there was somebody in the holo-theater. There was a transmission coming in, and you all went to the holo-theater, and you saw a sentinel sitting down. A hologram of sentinel, not real sentinel, that would be weird. He says, “Alright, so you managed to make the deal. Now it seems like we’ve got a lot to talk about.” Then, we’re gonna kick it off.
Sentinel starts off without preamble. He makes eye contact with all of you which is impressive because you’re spread out pretty far. He is sitting down, wearing a brown kind of shapeless robe. He has salt and pepper hair slicked back. He looks older, he looks very much in control, and he says, “You are going to deliver this artifact to the Oracle of the Ithorians on Ithor. You will be able to contact them when you get on the surface. Tell them you have a gift from an old friend, and that the friend assures him the light will never go out from the universe. The Oracle’s inner circle will know what that means, but you’ll need to get to them to explain. However, that’s the easy part. Ithor is under an Imperial blockade, a large one. The flagship for the armada is a super star destroyer, the Vengeance. You will need to find some way to get to the surface past the blockade. You’re gonna need stealth or some form of trickery. I’ll leave that solution up to you. Once down on the planet, deliver the Stone Breaker to the Oracle and find the shop called The Gooberfish nearby. There will be a contact there. Use the same passphrase. He will give you instructions on the last leg of the mission. After that, you will be paid, with potentially more contracts afterwards. Any questions?”

LAURA: “Um, is there a timeframe for this delivery?”

NICK: “Every minute that you delay more Ithors are squashed under the Imperial boot, so immediately.

LAURA: “Oh, so more like an existential timeframe, not like it will expire or anything like that. Not saying that we are not going to be quick and professional with our delivery, just you know, in case we have to make any pit stops along the way.”

NICK: “You will need to make a pit stop if you’re picking up any technology to skip past the blockade.”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

NICK: “Besides that you should be headed there right away. We don’t know how much longer this blockade will last until they do ground infiltration. Any minute you delay is an extreme risk.”

LAURA: “Yeah… Okay.” What was the passphrase again?

CAMERON: The light will never go out in the universe.
It’s the what oracle?

NICK: His title is The Oracle, yeah, on Ithor.

HUDSON: I’m going to whisper, “But wait, aren’t we supposed to do that other job first?”


NICK: Roll me a Force die please.

CAMERON & TINK: Two light side.

NICK: Yeah. You were very subtle. Everyone in the room hears, and the holo-projector does not pick that up.

LAURA: Xianna gives him like a little jab in the side. It’s probably like more your hip because of height, but just like a, “Shh.”



LAURA: And just keeps looking at him like, “Uh-huh, yes. A speedy delivery. Uh-huh. Got it.”

NICK: “Any other questions?”

CAMERON: “So, we’re delivering the Stone Breaker to the Oracle…”

NICK: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Ithorian lives may be lost…”

NICK: “Many.”

LAURA: “I mean, in a general sense, there is a blockade.”

CAMERON: “Like, it normally happens with Imperial blockades.”

LAURA: “Many planets are under Imperial blockade. Just saying.”

NICK: “I feel like I should mention that they’re periodically bombarding communities.”

LAURA: “Really? Really?!”

CAMERON: “Oh, see, that does explain the deaths.”

LAURA: “You’re going to tell me, a Twi’lek, about periodic bombardments of a planet?”

NICK: “Clearly you may have had some experience on Ryloth of similar tactics, but if you’re planning on doing some sort of side trip I would remind you that thousands of people  could be obliterated in laser fire at any moment.”

STEVEN: “Just enough to get past the blockade.”

NICK: “Enough what?”

STEVEN: “Just enough side trip to get past the blockade.”

NICK: “Yeah, that would be a good recommendation, either come up with some sort of plan to circumvent their technology, or some sort of stealth, or some sort of ruse. I don’t know. That’s why I hired you all.”

LAURA: “We’ll figure it out.”

CAMERON: “Do you have any nifty things on your ship?”

NICK: “Um, not really.”

CAMERON: “Cool. Just wondering.”

NICK: “You may find with some careful searching that there are some great places to hide things,” and he winks into the camera.

LAURA: “Uh-huh. Yes. I figured it out already.”

NICK: “Oh, well, yeah. That’s pretty much it, smugglers compartments.”

CAMERON: “Cool. Alright, just checking.”

LAURA: “Is there any more alcohol?”

NICK: “I’m surprised that that’s your prior—Actually, I’m not surprised that that’s your priority. You can restock, I suppose, but the wet bar is pretty much it.”

LAURA: “Eh, okay.”

NICK: Well, you’ll remember, you haven’t drank it all. There’s several half bottles still in there.

LAURA: No, I know, but I remember you saying there’s just kind of like weirdly basic stuff.

NICK: Well, so, it was a full bar, but a lot of it is empty and what’s left is like quarter bottles, so it was on a long party trip and didn’t get restocked before you took it off.

LAURA: Xianna kind of like holds her hand up and she’s like, “Ooh, are there any flags out for this ship? Like, do we need to get false credentials specifically for this ship?”

NICK: “The Afternoon Delight is not the original name of the ship.”

LAURA: “I mean, that does not matter, but…”

NICK: “It’s a clean identity. It’s a clean registration.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “Got it.”

NICK: “So you should be fine there, although if you can find some sort of registration that would let you pass an Imperial blockade, that could be one way to do it.”

CAMERON: “Who is it registered to?”

NICK: “Shell corporations, nothing that fancy.”

CAMERON: “Okay. Just wondering, in case that comes up.”

NICK: (goofily) “Uh, it’s registered to Star Corp.”

CAMERON: “Cool. Thank you.”

NICK: “Anything else?”

CAMERON: “At The Gooberfish, do we just walk in and tell the bartender the passphrase, or is there a particular person we should be on the lookout for, or is it just walk into the bar and scream at the top of our lungs and see if anyone responds?”

NICK: “Haven’t you done covert exchanges before? You’ll know.”

LAURA: “I got this.”

CAMERON: “I’m normally dealing with law enforcement officials.”

NICK: “So you’ll know.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s just kind of shaking her head. “I got this. We will be fine. Probably.”

NICK: “Something tells me that you’ll recognize the contact. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “It’s always good when they say that.” (giggles)

NICK: “Absolutely. Well, if there’s no more questions…” The feed starts to get kind of staticky, and you think you maybe hear blaster fire, and it cuts out.

LAURA: Xianna’s like “Okay byeee.”

NICK: And sentinel is gone.

HUDSON: “That was weird.”

STEVEN: “This is a wonderful ship.”

NICK: As you say that, the lights dim up automatically to a comfortable level, because they had dimmed once the holo-call started.

LAURA: Nice.

STEVEN: Yesss.

LAURA: “Okay. So, we need to deliver the briefcase very quickly, so no shenanigans from any of you, and by any of you I think you two know who you are.”

HUDSON: “I get the feeling that Sabos doesn’t know the definition of shenanigans.”

CAMERON: “He seems very good at them.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, I know. He’s just blissfully unaware.”

STEVEN: “I’m just gonna fly us there.”

LAURA: “Also, can we have a, how you say, team meeting for a moment? Sabos, are you actually a politician, or are you some sort of a con artist?”

STEVEN: “What’s the difference?”

(Vocal drums crashing noises, “ba-dum-tss”)


LAURA: Xianna sighs. “Well, for one, a politician sticks around and actually occasionally accomplishes things and continues using the same name. A con artist hits and runs. So, you changed your name, you don’t use your real name.”

STEVEN: “Oh, definitely politician.”

LAURA: “Like, if you noticed I gave a fake name on the planet.”


LAURA: “You do not have to keep calling me Serene anymore. that was a fake name.”

STEVEN: “Oh. Yeah, no. I’m…”

LAURA: “So you are a regular politician, just very bad?”

STEVEN: “I mean, it depends on what you mean regular. Osaron isn’t necessarily a recognized colony.”

CAMERON: (sighs) “Oh my gosh.”

LAURA: “So, where did all that money go? What did he say, a hundred thousand something credits?”

CAMERON: “A hundred thousand credits.”

STEVEN: “I mean, Osaron, my home planet, my new home planet…”

CAMERON: “Yep, we get it.”

STEVEN: “Osaron …”

CAMERON: “Uh-huh.”

LAURA: “So the credits where?”

STEVEN: “Well, it was a very underdeveloped planet that we took over, and we used the Imperial credits to—“

LAURA: “Wait wait wait, are you colonialists? Not like you are making colonies, but like you are kicking out indigenous peoples?”

STEVEN: “Oh, there were no indigenous peoples that we encountered.”

LAURA: (reluctantly) “Okay… I mean—“

STEVEN: “Yup. We never encountered any indigenous Osa—I mean… There’s no indigenous people on Osaron.”

LAURA: “Huh…”

HUDSON: “Hmm…”

LAURA: “Okay then.”

CAMERON: “Is there really?” (laughs)

STEVEN: Everything’s fine.

NICK: I feel like this calls for a Deception check.



LAURA: What’s Xianna’s Perception?

STEVEN: I have wonderful Deception.

LAURA: My Perception, that would be three purple, one red.

NICK: What’s Karma’s Perception?

CAMERON: I’ve got a red and two purple.

NICK: Tink, are you paying attention to their conversation at all?

HUDSON: Yeah, I’m just kind of sighing.

CAMERON: How many Perception do you have?

NICK: Okay. What’s your Perception score?

HUDSON: Oh, Perception would be two.

STEVEN: Perfect. Yeah, this is fine.

CAMERON: So four total, two red, two purple.

NICK: Yeah, because you’re lying to all of them.

STEVEN: Sure. Yeah, that’s cool.

NICK: Two red, two purple.

STEVEN: That’s cool.

LAURA: Okay yeah, because his cunning is only a two.

NICK: You can flip a dark side point to upgrade Sabos’s roll.


NICK: Getting a little loose with the rules.


STEVEN: Not much going.

CAMERON: Two failures, a threat, and a despair.

HUDSON: We are about to throw you out of the ship.


CAMERON: We found a hole we can use!

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Oh yeah. It’s pretty skinny. Eh, whatever.

CAMERON: One head tail at a time.

LAURA: I mean, yeah. One body part goes down, and yeah.

NICK: I think you’ve just found the subtitle for the show.

LAURA & CAMERON: One head tail at a time.

NICK: Tabletop Squadron: One Head Tail At A Time.
Okay, so the way this is gonna play out with the failures and the despair especially, everyone stares at you looking extremely nonplused, and you get real nervous, and you’re gonna say exactly what happened on Osaron here.

STEVEN: Oh, sure. “You see, we Togrutas that had to leave Shili for absolutely no reason at all had nothing to do with, you know, not being contributing members of—never mind—for absolutely no reason at all had to find a new place to live, and you know, we were just astrogating through the galaxy as one might say, and we came upon this.. well, this planet that was clear had something happen to it. So, we decided to investigate and land there, and yeah, sure enough the Empire just finished like, you know, Impericalling the planet. There was a couple left, and you know we ran the couple of Storm Troopers that were still left out, and just settled here. And uh, you know, there might’ve been some indigenous people, you know, with the Empire. As it turns out, when you kind of squat on a planet after the Empire done, you know, Empire’d it, (laughter) they start to think you might owe them for something. But it’s a great planet now, great planet, great flora, great fauna, good place for a Togruta to raise their young.”


LAURA: Um… Huh.

NICK: So at this point Sabos is like streaming sweat and looking extremely nervous, and wringing his hands.

STEVEN: And my head tails.

LAURA: “Huh… I do not like you.”

STEVEN: “I mean, we needed somewhere to go.”

CAMERON: “I still don’t understand why you didn’t pay the Empire back if you’re going to be stupid enough to make deals with them.”

STEVEN: “We just didn’t have any money. It was expensive.”

CAMERON: “Well, yeah.”

LAURA: “Did you not have some sort of trade?”

STEVEN: “Like I said, it was a very underdeveloped planet.”

CAMERON: “You keep telling us that you’re an ambassador who is trying to set up trade routes.”

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

CAMERON: “If you have nothing to trade—“

STEVEN: “Correct.”

CAMERON: “—what are you doing?”

STEVEN: “Getting things to us.” (laughing) “It’s more of a one-sided trade.”

LAURA: “And you keep saying underdeveloped planet.”

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

LAURA: “I get that the planet was underdeveloped before you arrived, but Togrutans as a people have technologies, because you know you flew there in your space ships.”

STEVEN: “And we brought these technologies to the people of the planet.”

CAMERON: “There were Togrutans on the planet already?”

STEVEN: “No, that’s the people on the planet.”

LAURA: “So, how do you not have some sort of trade or manufacturing or artisan goods?”

STEVEN: “We’re not in the best graces with the other Togrutas as one might imagine.”

CAMERON: “Did you take anyone with any useful skills with you?”


CAMERON: “Or did you just take the useless Togrutans?”

LAURA: “Did you even take prostitutes? They would make money. No?”

STEVEN: “Just, I mean…”

CAMERON: “Just the Togrutans like you.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, we went there for a reason.”

LAURA: “Oh, they got kicked out. They got kicked out. I got it.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay. It makes sense. Alright, making more sense now. That’s how they thought differently than the rest of the Togrutans on the home world.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “What are the rest of them doing? Do they not just have jobs?”

NICK: Sabos looks real sad as you point out that he got kicked out.

STEVEN: “Eh, it was mutual. That’s entirely what happened. Yep, yep, and—yep.”

LAURA: (sighs) “Okay. We do not trust him with anything, and um…”

STEVEN: “I wasn’t the bad guy here.”

LAURA: “You do not get any fun things. If we get fun things you do not get them. Agreed?”

CAMERON: “Agreed.”

STEVEN: “I wasn’t the bad guy, just… We went to Osaron because that’s close and we needed somewhere to go…”

CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”

STEVEN: “And we just decided to exploit—I mean, to develop the planet.”

LAURA: (hushed) “Tink. Tink. You just have to say you agree. Say you agree. Just say agree.”

HUDSON: “I… I agree.”

LAURA: “Okay. We are agreed. Sabos does not get fun things if we find things.”

STEVEN: “I’m with you, Tink. I’m with you.”

HUDSON: “You get no fun things.”

STEVEN: I rub my head tail against Tink as we leave.

CAMERON: Oh god.


HUDSON: I push you harder against the wall.

NICK: Okay. So you all leave the holo-theater. What is your destination?

STEVEN: The coordinates on the box.

CAMERON: The coordinates on the briefcase, right?

LAURA: Yes. Well, the data pad was given to use with coordinates that were handed to…



LAURA: So he has those to punch in, and then I guess the plan is fly to those coordinates and try to accomplish what we were set to do: hand off this briefcase.

NICK: Okay. Cool. Sabos, I’m assuming you’re the one with the coordinates, so make me an Astrogation check please.

STEVEN: Sure. How hard is it?

NICK: Hard.

CAMERON: Can I help? Since I’m in the…

NICK: Yeah, you can help.

LAURA: I mean, Tink can also help.

HUDSON: I can help with Astrogation.

CAMERON: Yeah. Do you wanna come up and be our navigator?

HUDSON: I can’t- I don’t-

LAURA: You don’t have a rank in it—

CAMERON: But you’re super smart.

LAURA: But you’re intelligent.

HUDSON: I’m very intelligent, so I can help, yes.

CAMERON: Yeah. Come hang out with us.

NICK: You can use your Intelligence score and his Astrogation training.

CAMERON: So that’s how that works.

LAURA: That means it would be your four for Intelligence but his two.

NICK: Okay. Well, roll first. Let’s see what happens.

STEVEN: That’s a lot of successes.

CAMERON: Three successes  and a threat.

NICK: Nice. What does this scene look like as Tink who doesn’t know how to astrogate is smarter than you and helps you astrogate?

CAMERON: He knows how the computer works. (laughs)

STEVEN: “Yeah, yeah. See, this data pad thing, like I said I got kicked off Shili. We don’t really have data pads.”

LAURA: I bet he’s like putting the coordinates into the wrong—Like, he’s putting the X axis coordinate into the Y.

CAMERON: We saw him last time trying to turn on the ship and just doing everything. He has no clue… He knows how to figure out the route we need to take, but he doesn’t know how to put that into the computer at all. (laughing) But Tink understands.

HUDSON: “Click the square. No, the square. No, the square. Sabos, Sabos no, Sabos, do you know what a square is?” (groans)

STEVEN: “I astrogate by maps and stars. All this new technology…”

HUDSON: “You do not use any kind of manual—No, you don’t. Just type it in.”

CAMERON: “Is this why you were looking for landmarks last time?”

STEVEN: “Yeah. Trees.”

CAMERON: “You weren’t going into hyperspace the last times you were flying things?”

STEVEN: “Trees are the best landmarks.”

CAMERON: “You were just manually flying those long distances?”

STEVEN: (incredulously) “You can hyperspace… just, time.”


NICK: So, the scene is Karma in the co-pilot seat, Sabos in the pilot seat, and after a minute he switches and Tink sits down, and Sabos starts leading off calculations and Tink does data entry. It works super well. You guys are very successful, and it actually is bringing you somewhere that is not on the galactic map at all. It is a place, but there’s nothing there as far as the map is concerned.”

LAURA: We were told-

LAURA & CAMERON: It was an asteroid belt.

NICK: Yeah, but it’s not on the maps. According to this it’s empty space.

LAURA: So, Xianna would probably be familiar with asteroid ports, like shadow ports that are sometimes built into asteroids or just floating stations, so she assumes it’s something like that.

NICK: Mm-hmm. So, you put it in. It looks like it’ll probably take about six hours to get there. It is in the exact wrong direction to Ithor…


STEVEN: Awesome.

NICK: So, it will take longer to get there. Something potentially bad could happen while you’re driving the wrong direction, and by driving I mean flying, of course. Something bad could happen while you’re flying the wrong direction, but that’s your chosen route. You punch it in, hit the lever, the stars turn into lines, and off we go. You guys have six hours in hyperspace. Is there anything you’re gonna do with that time?

LAURA: While the rest of them were arguing Xianna was already rifling through ay cabinet she could find, especially in—I’m assuming there’s like a dining area.

NICK: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: She’s just going through and looking in everything trying to figure out what there is.

NICK: Okay, so you want a full inventory of what’s on the ship?

LAURA: Pretty much. Also, if she finds any like fun little snack cakes she’s gonna eat those while looking around, (laughter) because thinking about it I don’t think we’ve eaten in a while.

CAMERON: We had dinner at the manor.

STEVEN: We had monkey.

LAURA: Yeah, so we have eaten dinner the previous day.

CAMERON: Yeah. (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, so Xianna’s just gonna take the space equivalent of a zebra cake and just start eating it while looking through stuff.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: “Also, if anyone’s familiar with asteroid stuff we should figure out if there’s cloaking devices in the…”

LAURA: I mean, are you talking like the physics of an asteroid belt, or are you asking about like underworld things?

STEVEN: No, the tradings. Yes, the dealings which might go on.

LAURA: So, someone who might have-

LAURA & CAMERON: Underworld. (laughs)

STEVEN: Indeed.

LAURA: Yes. Some of us have that Knowledge skill.

HUDSON: I have that Knowledge.

NICK: Okay, a couple of checks. I need either a Perception or a Skullduggery check from Xianna for searching the ship, and then if someone wants to do Underworld Knowledge about cloaking devices.

LAURA: What was the difficulty?

NICK: Let’s do average.

HUDSON: And what’s my difficulty? I’m doing the Underworld check.

NICK: Yours is gonna be hard.

LAURA: Nice. Five successes.

NICK: What do you want to find on this ship? What were you hoping to find?

CAMERON: Well, obviously zebra cakes.

NICK: Yeah, so you find a case of space zebra cakes.

LAURA: Oh, but they have to have a fun name. But yeah, I just wanna make sure we have lots of food.

NICK: Bantha cakes?

CAMERON: That doesn’t sound cute.

LAURA: No, they’re like blue…

NICK: Porg cakes?


STEVEN: Just porg filets.

LAURA: No, no, I want a bantha cake. It is like a very round shape, but it’s blue, and it’s called that because it’s made with bantha milk. So, it’d be the equivalent of a milk cake or something.

NICK: Yeah, so you find a whole case of those. It seems to be the one thing that wasn’t touched from all the supplies before you guys found the ship.

LAURA: Xianna also wants to find some mixers for the alcohol. There’s a fridge. And…

NICK: Okay. So the dining area is pretty big, and it’s actually separate from the kitchen area. The separate kitchen is designed for there to be staff on there, and the kitchen area is very well done. You could pretty much make whatever you want. There’s a decent amount of supplies, but it’s all very spotty, so there are some juices and things but it’s all the weird juice that you wouldn’t normally pick. It’s like, Dr. Skipper soda and things like that are left.

LAURA: Yeah. Off brands.

NICK: Mm-hmm, because most of it is already used.

LAURA: And then, with six hours, she also wants to look in any of the hallways or closets, and can there be some extra random clothes, and like makeup that’s been left behind? Just random little odds and end bits.

NICK: I’ll say with five successes on your check that throughout the ship you find basically the equivalent of one and a half costume changes for everybody.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: So, not necessarily a full disguise, you could probably put a disguise on someone, but if you just wanted a different look for a different situation, there’s one and a half of those for each of you on the ship.

LAURA: Cool.


NICK: So like, a different top hat for Tink, I guess. So that’s what you find. Tink, if you wanna make that Underworld check about cloaking devices and junk.

LAURA: Can I help with that?

HUDSON: I would love help with that. I’m upgraded.

NICK: So, since Xianna’s helping you, then you have… You’re following her around thinking out loud and she’s kinda helping you brainstorm why she’s up to her waist in cabinets.

LAURA: Okay, so then… Oh no.

HUDSON: This is, uh…

STEVEN: Not good.

HUDSON: So that gets cancelled out, right?

STEVEN: Yeah, that cancels, so that’s a…

HUDSON: That’s a failure and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. So, failure, you don’t know necessarily anyone who sells it. You do know that you can buy those things. Generally they’re illegal, because they’re military grade.

HUDSON: Have I checked the ship for this? Do we already have it?

STEVEN: I think we asked.

CAMERON: We asked if he had any cool things on his ship and he said no. he said we probably wanted to look into it, so probably not.

HUDSON: Oh, okay.

NICK: Yeah, the ship doesn’t really have anything like that.

CAMERON: And you know everything about the ship at this point.

NICK: Yeah, because you \won\ very early on. You are very familiar with the ship. You know that cloaking devices are illegal, because they are military grade technology. They’re very, very expensive and they’re hard to get. There are other things like jammers for scanners and things that you could use to get you a head start heading to a planet, but that’s about all you know. You’re not really sure where you would get one except for somewhere sketch. Xianna is helping you out the same way, and that’s about what you learn, because she’s more interested in searching so she’s not that helpful. She’s mostly wondering why you’re following her around.

LAURA: You probably get a few things thrown on you. Like, as I’m pulling things out, I’m just tossing stuff behind me, so a random scarf just falls over you.

HUDSON: Comically getting doused in random items.

CAMERON: Random costume changes.

LAURA: Oh yeah, like imagine how this scene would play out in a sitcom, and that’s what’s happening. So just like random things, every so often you just get like, you probably come away from the situation and you’re like wearing a bunch of clothes and have blush on your face now, splotches of fur are pink now.

CAMERON: Bright blue eye shadow.

HUDSON: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: But it’s not on his eyes, it’s just like on him in splotches as if I threw it and it just kind of like hit him and then fell down.

NICK: Dibs on a clown makeup face being on his chest.

HUDSON: Mm-hmm.

STEVEN: Two top hats.

LAURA: I mean, if you squint it kind of looks like a clown, maybe.

CAMERON: After we jump to hyperspace Karma leaves the cockpit and goes and takes a shower, because she’s kind of bloody and gross.

NICK: Yeah. There are several sanisteams in the ship. Everyone’s quarters have their own because this is a super nice ship.

CAMERON: Marvelous.

NICK: Yeah. You’re able to peel off your armor, get clean, you soak in a lot of the water because you’re aquatic.

CAMERON: It feels great.

NICK: The bacta’s doing a really good job of getting rid of any cuts and things. It won’t scar. You’re still pretty tender, the stitching will fall out eventually, but you’re also able to after you’re all clean you’re able to check through your armor and there’s no permanent damage on that either, so you’re able to repair that as well.


LAURA: Very important question. Are there any hot tubs or Jacuzzis on this ship?

NICK: Oh, there absolutely is.

LAURA: Okay. That is how Xianna is gonna take a bath. She gets herself a nice drink and goes and sits in the Jacuzzi.

NICK: So the Jacuzzi is actually in the center of the ship, so…

LAURA: Oh, that’s fine.

NICK: Well, so there’s like, the living quarters are on one of the big storage containers, there’s another storage container that’s mostly for shipping, and then the middle spine of the ship has most of the important stuff like the cockpit and the engines and things like that. In the middle of that where you come up the ramp onto the ship there’s a big, round open entry way that has a centerpiece, it’s like a big, round pedestal, and there’s decorations on it, and there’s a hollow of a fountain. When you’re digging through the ship you find a little panel on the side and you start messing with it, and the top slides off, and there’s a large ten person Jacuzzi in the middle of the ship.

LAURA: Yes. Haha.

NICK: So, do you just like skinny dip in the Jacuzzi?

LAURA: So, Xianna probably goes back to her room, or like makes a drink, leaves it on the bar, goes to her room, takes off her clothes, and just like takes a tiny little towel and holds it around her, and that’s how she walks back through the ship, picks her drink up, and then goes to the hot tub and then just like gets in and skinny dips, but does leave the towel folded really nicely to the side.

NICK: Do you do like an origami towel fold or just really neat and square?

LAURA: It looks like a little loft cat.

NICK: Okay. Great.

LAURA: You do have to be told it’s supposed to be a loft cat.


NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: It’s one of those towel folds where you’re like, uh, it’s some sort of animal, but I don’t remember what. Hmm.

CAMERON: I can tell you were folding something.

NICK: Okay. You’re chilling out in the ship. You spend a couple hours drinking and hot tubbing it out.

LAURA: I mean, I let everyone else know that there’s a hot tub. Like, as I’m walking through holding my tiny, little towel around me, I’m just like, “Oh, there is a hot tub by the way. I am going in it.”

HUDSON: Is there a shower that fits me?

NICK: Yes.


NICK: The showers go very high up, and the shower heads—the sanisteams, have a whole bunch of jets that just shoot out all at once. So, yeah, you can comfortably take a shower if you wish.

HUDSON: So, I take a hot sanisteam, and I sing in the shower, because that’s what I do.

NICK: Great.

STEVEN: I feel like you’re saying Santa steam.

CAMERON: Do you have your translator on when you take a shower or do you take the translator off?


LAURA: No, I imagine you would take it off.

HUDSON: Really?

CAMERON: And just sing in Gigoran.

LAURA: Yeah, you’re just singing in Gigoran, which…

HUDSON: Okay, that makes more sense. Let’s do that.

CAMERON: Because you don’t want it to get wet.


CAMERON: I’m sure it’s waterproof, for the future.

LAURA: Which we haven’t ever heard Gigoran in any sort of official canon stuff.

NICK: Ooh, what if it’s just a weird airy whistle or something?

LAURA: No, I have to imagine it’s more it’s similar to a Wookiee of just like weird growls and snarls but you can’t tell.

NICK: What’s a Gigoran mouth look like?


NICK: What if it’s a proboscis.

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: It just sounds like a Binks with a cold.



LAURA: Yeah, there’s no new canon images of Gigorans without them from my knowledge.

NICK: Well, if you wanna sing with your mask on that makes it easier. We don’t have to guess. It’s waterproof, like you can swim in it.

HUDSON: I sing with my mask on.

NICK: Okay. What is your song that you like to sing in the shower?

HUDSON: The song of my people.


NICK: I walked into that one, I guess. Alright. You’re in the sanisteam taking a steam and singing. Karma is cleansing.

CAMERON: Yeah, so I shower and then like put my armor pants back on and like have a black tank top, and go and sit in one of the living areas and start fixing my armor before I put it back on.

NICK: Okay. Are you in the main area with the hot tub fixing things?

CAMERON: Yeah. I’m also cleaning all my guns, very in depth.

NICK: There’s a side table with a nice flower display and a big vase, and you set the base aside and slide it off, and it makes a pretty good work bench.

CAMERON: Yeah. I’m cleaning and shining my new vibro-sword, cleaning my blaster carbine, cleaning my vibro-knife, cleaning my heavy pistol, and cleaning my light blaster.

NICK: Great, you’re armed well.

CAMERON: I just dump all of it on the table.

NICK: And then Sabos, what are you doing?

STEVEN: I’m in the cockpit, and I’m flipping the switches on that she turned off before.

LAURA: Oh god.

NICK: For six hours?


NICK: Okay, so…

CAMERON: He keeps finding new ones. (laughs)

STEVEN: Yeah, like I’m running out of switches and it’s kind of bugging me.

NICK: There’s one point, Xianna, while you’re taking your hot tub that the lid starts to slide back on.


LAURA: Xianna starts turning around, and like it’s starting to close, and she’s like, “No! No no no! Go flip the switch! No, put it back! Put the switch back!”

NICK: Karma probably runs over and flips it down on the base so it goes back.

CAMERON: I’m gonna throw my dagger at it so the hilt of it hit sit and flips it back on.

NICK: Wow, cool, okay.

CAMERON: Then I have to get up and go get my dagger, but I looked really cool.

LAURA: As she does that, Xianna’s like crawled out of the hot tub, like splayed out, and then she kind of pushes her empty glass. “If you are going to go that way, can you make me a new drink please? Thank you.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Do you make her a drink?


NICK: Okay. So, Tink, at some point when you’re hanging out in your room doing stuff all the lights turn off, then they turn on, then your bunk beds turn into one big side-by-side bed then go back.

CAMERON: The shower gets really cold for a second.

HUDSON: “Who’s messing with me?”

NICK: (laughs)

HUDSON: “Sabos, if that’s you I’m gonna kick your ass!”

STEVEN: “Nothing’s happened.”

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna yells out, “Yes, Sabos is flipping all the switches in the cockpit!”

HUDSON: “Stop flipping switches, Sabos!”

LAURA: “He almost trapped me in the hot tub!”

NICK: The first switch Sabos flipped was the seal door into the cockpit, and the second switch he flipped was the com system, so he’s just back there like dum da-dum dum dum, and you’re all yelling at him, and he has no idea. Karma, from where you’re sitting you can see down the hallway into the main living quarters and a disco ball flips on, and you hear like Barry White singing and then it flips back off, and like another one a bunch of colored lights are flashing and then they flip back off.

CAMERON: Why are all these controls in the cockpit?

NICK: It just has a lot of switches.

STEVEN: It’s a fancy ship.

NICK: So, that all happens. Then after a while with these fun hijinks you come out of hyperspace and you are in a very small asteroid belt. It’s a lot of car sized asteroids that look like potatoes or shoes, a lot of zucchini looking asteroids, and there’s one bigger one that the rest seem to be orbiting around… Zucchini, yes.


NICK: Yes. (laughs)

LAURA: Uh-huh…

CAMERON: Right. It’s a zucchini, sure.

NICK: Yeah, it is.

LAURA: Is it cucumber shaped?

STEVEN: Eggplant?

NICK: Nope, zucchini, it has the little pointy end.

CAMERON: Uh-huh…

LAURA: Ohh, okay…

NICK: Oh, this is getting worse.

LAURA: What zucchini are you looking at?

STEVEN: You know, zucchini.

CAMERON: It’s like, yeah, when it has the stem still on it.

LAURA: Oh! That’s what he means.

CAMERON: That’s what he means, yeah.

NICK: I’m glad you know what I’m trying to say.

CAMERON: Yeah, I got you. It’s okay.

LAURA: I was imagining…

CAMERON: (laughs) Yep. Nope.

NICK: All these smaller asteroids are orbiting around one larger asteroid that’s probably 500 meters across, and as it slowly rotates you see a port carved into it. It’s like most Star Wars entry things. It’s flat on the bottom, kind of semi-circly on top, and you see the slight shimmer of a ray shield in front of it, and it looks like a landing pad there.

STEVEN: I bring her in.

NICK: Alright. Make me a Piloting check on how smoothly you land.


HUDSON: No trees this time.

STEVEN: This is gonna be fine guys.

CAMERON: I’m helping.

STEVEN: How hard is it?

NICK: Average, because you do have to lop through the asteroids, but they’re pretty slow.


STEVEN: Well that worked out. Nothing happened at all.

CAMERON: Two advantages.

STEVEN: Yeah, two advantages.

NICK: Okay. With two advantages, you come straight in, you have to juke to the left at the last second. Karma grabs her piloting controls and does something that makes the ship kind of flip sideways, and you come in to land, and you land pretty hard and ungracefully. There’s a loud crunch. You’re not sure what part of the ship must have buckled a little, but you’re able to land, and through the front view port you see what looks like an oil drum fire and some fold up camping chairs that have some indistinct figures sitting on them, and as you land they immediately stand up and start to look suspicious. And you see that they are armed.


STEVEN: Perfect.

CAMERON:  I get out of the cockpit. I take my headband off, because then I’m just a Nautolan. Removing the distinguishable features from me.

HUDSON: Xianna should be out of the hot tub.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.


LAURA: Xianna got too pruney a while back. It was what, six hours? Yeah, I imagine she spent a while in there, and that would be like three hours. So, she probably went and took an actual sanisteam, dressed, maybe took a little bit of a nap, stuffed her pockets with bantha cakes.

NICK: Yeah, you guys have all had time.

LAURA: Oh yeah. I do have bantha cakes in my pockets now.

NICK: Okay. You can put them in your inventory if you want.

LAURA: Oh, it’s in there. I have four bantha cakes. I’m only taking four.

NICK: Roger that.

HUDSON: I have a light blaster.

CAMERON: Not yet.

HUDSON: Oh. Not yet?



NICK: Okay. The ship lands. You are all aware that it’s landed.

CAMERON: So, I get up out of the cockpit, take my headband off, walk down to the main area where Tink is, and I pass him the light blaster I took off of Spark Duelson’s body. “Why don’t you hold onto this?”

HUDSON: (light gasp) “Thank you.” I take it.

CAMERON: “Do you know how it works?”


CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “I’ll learn.”

CAMERON: “Cool. Great. Pull this trigger. Point this end at the person you want to shoot.”

HUDSON: “Oh, I know that much.”

CAMERON: “Well, okay. I didn’t know how basic we needed to get.”

NICK: So, you have a very obviously Imperial issue side arm, but you’ve got one. It’s got the little gear symbol on multiple parts of it.

HUDSON: I think it looks pretty cool.

NICK: Yeah, it looks cool.

LAURA: “Just put it in one of your side pockets on your little backpack.”

HUDSON: “Okay. You mean my utility belt?”

LAURA: Well no, you have a utility belt and a backpack.

HUDSON: Oh yeah, that’s right.

LAURA: Because we imagined that the utility belt is more of a bandolier style that you can then hold your vibro-axe on, but you also have a little backpack. I imagine it’s a tiny little…

CAMERON: It’s super cute compared to your size.

LAURA: I’m picturing a little backpack and it’ so cute.

NICK: Is it of an ewok?

CAMERON: (gasps)


NICK: It’s a little ewok backpack.


LAURA: No, it’s just a cute little leather backpack. It’s a regular sized backpack, but because of Tink’s size and width it looks super tiny. Kind of like when you see Shaq get into a car, and you’re like oh, look at that, it’s cute.

CAMERON: (laughs) Try not to let anyone see that, but you have it if you need it.

HUDSON: Alright.

NICK: It won’t be super obvious, but if you hold someone up they may wonder, “Hey, why does this person have an Imperial blaster?”

CAMERON: We can mod it later.


NICK: Okay. So, what else?

STEVEN: I grab the briefcase.

NICK: Smart.

STEVEN: And we lower the stairs.

CAMERON: I’m gonna go pop the thing open, pop the ramp down.

NICK: Okay. You drop the ramp. Do all of you head out? Who’s in the lead? What are you all doing?

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna walk in front, and again she’s gonna look at Sabos, and stop, and sigh. “Sabos, look at me. Look into my eyes. Do not talk to them.”

STEVEN: “The light will never go out in the universe.”

CAMERON: “Wrong planet.”


STEVEN: “I know.”

LAURA: “This is why I am asking you do not talk, because even Tink does not say the things you say. Please let me or Karma do the talking. Please.”

STEVEN: “I am an ambassador.”

LAURA: “No. I think you are a war criminal.”

CAMERON: “Anyway, walking down the ramp. Hush.”

NICK: So, out you go. Sabos is carrying the briefcase. As you get closer to the oil drum fire you see that there is a Quarren out front. He has a lot of scars on his face tentacles. For those of you not versed in Star Wars species, a Quarren basically looks like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. He has a tentacle face and kind of a squid head, and before they were officially named in the books they were called squid heads on their action figures and stuff. So, there’s a Quarren, and he is standing in the lead. He’s got what looks like a smuggler kind of captain outfit, so it’s nice and indistinct.

CAMERON: So, a vest?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

CAMERON: Nice. Okay.

NICK: Yeah, but like rather than just a vest and pants he has like epaulets, and he’s obviously a little bit fancier.

CAMERON: Oo-ooh. Got some girl scout patches on his vest.

NICK: Mm-hmm. Then there’s a human who’s kind of small but has a bunch of different blasters strapped to them, a guy with dark, short hair. Then there’s a Gamorrean in the back who has a tusk broken off and a robotic arm and a vibro-axe who stays behind the fire ad looks imposing. The Quarren steps up to the front and says, “You here to make the drop?”

LAURA: “Yes. Hello. How are you today?”

NICK: “That seems irrelevant to this business negotiation.”

LAURA: “I was just being polite.”

NICK: “Fine. Uh, let’s just do this. Do you have the briefcase?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “Right here.”

NICK: “Uh, yes, you are clearly the leader.”

HUDSON: “Don’t—Don’t boost his ego.”

STEVEN: I nod, but I try to nod, like, you know an under the…

CAMERON: You nod curtly.

STEVEN: Yeah, curtly. I really don’t want anyone else to notice except him.

NICK: “So you, leader, how did you convince Falx to make the delivery?”

CAMERON: (laughing) The leader looks to Xianna.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna sees this and kinda rolls her eyes. (sighs) “Our leader had a one on one talk with him and convinced him to do the delivery. I do not know of the exact details. Our leader does not like to discuss these things with the rest of us.”

STEVEN: “Yep.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: “Ah yes, a man of few words, much like me.” You see the Quarren’s tentacles all curl up into his face in maybe pride, hard to tell, he’s got a squid for a face.

CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: Xianna’s just keeping a smile on her face, just internally being like, ugh I hate this, but I’m smiling.

HUDSON: Yeah, I’m dead inside.

CAMERON: Karma’s taking the role of the Gamorrean in the back and is just standing, looking imposing behind everyone.

NICK: The Quarren says, “Tiny, go and get the briefcase.” The small human seems very suspicious, and he keeps a hand on the grip of one of his blasters, and reaches out for the briefcase.

STEVEN: Yeah, I let him take the briefcase. I also have a hand on my big rifle behind my back because I think that’s what we’re doing now.


NICK: Okay. So, Tiny takes it and he sets it down in one of the folding chairs. You see, you didn’t really look at the briefcase that carefully but it has a pretty complicated locking mechanism on it, and Tiny starts typing some stuff in.

STEVEN: “We best be going.”

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna’s standing here in her head going like, we didn’t check what was in the briefcase.

STEVEN: We need to get out.

LAURA: Umm… and starts putting her hands like nonchalantly into her pockets, and kind of like, I mean hopefully he would’ve put something in the briefcase, but we don’t really know this guy and he did blackmail us into this.

CAMERON: Karma’s already looking terrifying, so she’s holding onto her weapons already.

NICK: So, as Sabos starts to back away towards the ship, Quiggle says, “Hold on, Quiggle always verifies the deal.”
Tiny types and you hear an (error noise) and he goes, “Shit,” and he starts typing again, and there’s like 20 seconds of awkward beeping and then you hear (error noise). “Okay, wait wait wait, I think I remember.” Quiggle’s starting to look kind of awkward as he’s still standing there. You can tell his swelled up personality can only be held for so long. Now, the Gamorrean on the other hand, that’s pretty much his default setting, big and scary, but Quiggle not so much.

CAMERON: Karma shifts her weight to her other hip.

NICK: Finally, Tiny hits a button and you hear (a clicking noise) and it clicks open, and he opens up the briefcase, and you hear him go, “Uh-oh.”
Quiggle turns around and goes, “What is it?”
Tiny says, “I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Quiggle says, “Tell me now.”
“Uh, briefcase is empty boss,” and Quiggle immediately starts to go for his gun.

LAURA: Ugh, yeah, Xianna just throws her head back, rolls her eyes, and sighs. She already has her gun out, because she does have quick draw.

NICK: Okay. Nobody starts shooting right away. Quiggle says, “What did you do with the money?” He’s pointing a gun at… I guess Sabos, probably.



CAMERON: Leader. Our leader.

LAURA: Which everyone I think is okay with at this point.

NICK: Tiny draws two pistols and then draws a big rifle on a tripod and drops it in front of him, and kicks it forward a little, and is pointing all of those weapons at Sabos as well.

LAURA: Xianna looks over at him. “Yes, leader, where did the credits go?”

STEVEN: I’m gonna try to be really cool here. “As you know, I didn’t know the password. I’m just the currier.”

NICK: “Clearly you are someone more put together than that. You’re trying to screw us!” And they go to start shooting.

STEVEN: I mean… sure.

LAURA: We shot first.


NICK: So, I will need Vigilance rolls from everyone.

STEVEN: (sighs) Right. I really need to get some of that.

HUDSON: Me too.

LAURA: Yeah…

HUDSON: I have no Vigilance and one Willpower.

CAMERON: Guys! Seriously? (laughs)

LAURA: Hey, I have like Cool, and Streetwise, and Skullduggery, and Deception.

CAMERON: Am I the only one with the Vigilance skill?


CAMERON: Oh great.

STEVEN: It’s just so expensive.

HUDSON: I have one success.

LAURA: A success and an advantage.

STEVEN: Two successes and an advantage.

CAMERON: Two successes and an advantage.

NICK: Can you roll me a three green dice check, please?

CAMERON: One success, four advantages.

NICK: Roll it for me again.

CAMERON: Two successes, three advantages.

NICK: And then roll me two green dice, please.

CAMERON: Two advantages.

NICK: Okay. Who had the most successes?

STEVEN: Me and Cameron.

NICK: Had how many?


NICK: Two? Okay, so it’s gonna go NPC, two PC slots… How many people had one advantages? You guys did?

CAMERON: Successes?

NICK: Successes, I mean.

HUDSON: Successes, yeah.

NICK: NPC, two PC slots, NPC. Nice and spread out. Alright, so Captain Quiggle, the Quarren, is gonna go first.

(someone snorts)

LAURA: (giggles)

NICK: It’s a perfectly respectable pirate name.

LAURA: ‘Queegle.’

HUDSON: ‘Queegle.’

NICK: He says—

CAMERON: (musically) Quiggle, Quiggle, Quiggle…

SEVERAL: (musically) Do, do, do do, do…

STEVEN: That’s no more respectable than I am the leader.

CAMERON: (laughing) I’ve been thinking that every single time since you said it.

NICK: Ah, okay! So Quiggle says, “Damn it, Falx. You’ve betrayed us for the last time!” And he takes a shot at Sabos.

STEVEN: I say, “Not Falx, not Falx. Sabos, not Falx.”

NICK: “Close enough!” Can you make me a two difficulty check with two greens and a yellow? This guy’s pretty good.

CAMERON: Not good enough. Failure, two advantages.

NICK: Okay. He shoots at Sabos while he ducks back behind the oil drum fire, and he takes a shot, and Sabos is able to duck to the side, but when he does so he presents a very clear target to Tiny who’s gonna go next. So, that’s what happens there. He will have a blue die on his next check. Then we’ve got two PC slots. Who’s gonna go first?

STEVEN: I’ll shoot.

NICK: Okay. Who are you shooting at?

STEVEN: The big guy’s behind cover now?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: The squid man is behind cover.

STEVEN: Quiggle? Quiggle the Quarren?

NICK: Quiggle the Quarren Captain is behind cover!

STEVEN: So, just Tiny and the Gamorrean are out?

CAMERON: The other big pig man.

NICK: Mm-hmm. So you can shoot Quiggle, it’ll just be a little bit harder to hit him.

STEVEN: I’ll shoot the big pig. \inaudible\ scary.

[ ]: Shoot the big pig, yeah.

NICK: Okay. That’s racist as heck, by the way.


NICK: Maybe he’s their slicer. Don’t make judgments.

LAURA: I mean, but have you met Sabos?

NICK: So he’s at medium range, so it will be average, yeah.

STEVEN: Yeah, well, nothing happens.

STEVEN & CAMERON: One advantage.

NICK: How would you like to spend your advantage?

STEVEN: Can I get behind cover on the ship?

CAMERON: You can do that anyway \inaudible\

NICK: You’re at long range from the ship. To run back to the ship would take several maneuvers, but you can use a maneuver to run back to the ship. That doesn’t even cost an advantage. It’s just gonna take you a while to get there.

STEVEN: Uhh… How far are we from the trash fire?

CAMERON: You can use your advantage to set up another piece in the environment that you can jump behind, like there’s a crate or something.

STEVEN: Oh yeah. Also, who goes next?

NICK: It’s another PC slot.

STEVEN: Can I use the advantage to make the pig more presentable?

NICK: Yeah. You can make it so the next person to go will get a blue die.

STEVEN: Yeah, I’ll do that.

NICK: Okay, so it’s the same kind of thing. You shoot at him and he ducks out of the way, but he steps a little bit closer into the fire light, so it’s gonna be real easy to hit that guy. And, another PC slot.

HUDSON: I think that I want to take my light blaster, feel overly confident but like secretly pretty scared of using it, and try to hit the pig person.

NICK: Okay. It’ll be two difficulty with a boost die.

HUDSON: And I have nothing in ranged light weapon.

NICK: Great!

STEVEN: Hold on, wait, does that—No, no. Does that help? No, it doesn’t.

HUDSON: Yeah. None of my \inaudible\ help either.

STEVEN: Is that an assist? No, okay.

NICK: You can’t assist people with combat checks, unless you wanna do the like ghost thing where you’re behind him massaging his shoulders, and if we do that you have to specify.

STEVEN: (laughs)


HUDSON: Just advantage.

CAMERON: So, it fails, because it’s a wash.

NICK: Okay, so you miss. How would you like to spend your advantage?

HUDSON: Um… I’ll help the next PC character slot out.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Alright. So it’s the same thing. You all are shooting right above your left shoulder, and there’s this weird triangle of blasters going around, and everybody’s taking one step to the left each time. It’s rather comical. It’s how I imagine \bar fights\ in the old west would get. Everybody’s just shooting near people and nothing’s happening.

[ ]: Pew!

NICK: Now we’ve got another NPC slot, and it is Tiny. He takes both of his blasters and he is going to shoot at Sabos, still, because that was his last order. He has a green and a yellow, and a blue die because he got set up.

STEVEN: Don’t listen to him, Tiny.

CAMERON: Two difficulty still?

NICK: It’s gonna be three, because he’s dual wielding.

CAMERON: Two failures and an advantage.

NICK: Alright. So, he shoots a whole bunch, and you hear him going, aaaaah, pew pew pew, and they just go all over the place…

LAURA: Aww, so cute.

NICK: And pepper the back wall, and with the advantage he actually hits something somewhere off on the back wall and the ray shield starts to flicker, and some of the atmosphere starts to go out and it gets really windy and crazy in here. He’s destabilized something important. That advantage is going to start with whoever gets shot at next by the Quiggle Crew is going to have a blue die. Oh, no, so whoever next attacks from your team, not the Quiggle Crew, will have a black die, because the atmosphere is thinning.

HUDSON: The Quiggle ‘quew.’

LAURA & CAMERON: The Quiggle Crew~!

STEVEN: Quiggle the Quarren crew, captain.

NICK: Quiggle the captain of the Quarren Quiggle crew.

LAURA: If it’s a PC slot…

NICK: Yeah, it is a PC slot next, yes.

LAURA: Yeah. I imagine Xianna would go since she was already hands in her pocket of like, oh this is going south. Like, immediately, she was like, ugh. (musically) We didn’t check the briefcase, gonna shoot someone…

CAMERON: You have a blue die and a black die.

LAURA: Yes. Who’s closest to me?

NICK: Tiny is closest to you. Quiggle’s behind cover, and the Gamorrean is behind them.

LAURA: Probably Tiny, yeah? I’ll shoot Tiny.

NICK: Guys, we are so good at shooting.

CAMERON: Some of us.

LAURA: Two successes.

NICK: Nice. How much damage does your blaster do?

LAURA: Six, so that will be eight damage.

NICK: Ooh. Okay, you hit Tiny square in the chest, and he yelps and kind of crouches down. He drops his blasters. So, he’s down and he’s bleeding pretty hard, but he doesn’t look down completely. He says, “Quiggle’s Crew never quits!”

STEVEN: Oh boy.

NICK: He’s still moving. Another PC slot.

CAMERON: That’ll be Karma. I am going to shoot at the… I can only think of Gigoran.


LAURA: ‘Quigmorrean!’

HUDSON: ‘Quigmorrean?’

LAURA: You know…

STEVEN: The Quiggle Gamorrean.

LAURA: When Quiggle and the Gamorrean have a little baby.

CAMERON: Yep, gonna shoot at the Gamorrean.

NICK: Aww, little pig with tentacle face.

CAMERON: It’d be so cute~

LAURA: It’d be terrifying.

CAMERON: With tusks coming out of the tentacles?


CAMERON: That sounds gross.

LAURA: I mean, I actually think that would probably be cute.

STEVEN: So like a catfish.

NICK: Yeah, basically.

STEVEN: Yeah. Just sharper.

CAMERON: Two successes, one threat.

NICK: One threat. Okay, so the threat is you step forward and start spraying blaster fire with your carbine and come into the fire light. The atmosphere is kind of venting, it’s starting to get a little light, but you’re really good at dealing with low oxygen environments so that’s not too big a deal, and your blasters scrape across the Gamorrean’s chest. How much damage do you do?

CAMERON: Eleven.

NICK: Ooh-hoo-hoo.

LAURA: Damn.

CAMERON: I have a big gun.

NICK: That’s a palpable hit. He grunts, and a little trickle of greenish blood comes down the side of his mouth, and he begins to step forward as it is his turn. He is at medium range which means it takes a maneuver to get to short range and then another maneuver to get to engaged, and he’s gonna go ahead and engage with… Roll me a force die, would you

CAMERON: Oh no. One dark side.

NICK: Sabos! So, even though you shot him his orders had been take down the leader, so he takes one strain to do a double move action, and he is going to try and hit you in the face with a giant vibro-axe. This is gonna hurt real bad.


NICK: Go ahead and roll me a yellow and two greens versus an average check.

STEVEN: Oh, that hurts pretty bad.

CAMERON: Wow. Four successes.

NICK: Oh shit. What’s the damage on your vibro-axe there, Tink?

HUDSON: Brawn plus three.

LAURA: Well, it’s also pierce two, sunder, vicious three I believe, because your serrated edge adds plus one.

HUDSON: Yeah, that’s what it is.

NICK: h, okay, so pierce two. So you take Brawn is three, plus three is six, plus four is ten, and then that does get reduced by your Soak, but by two less than your normal Soak because it’s pierce two.

CAMERON: So you still take…


NICK: You take eight damage. How are you looking there, Sabos?

STEVEN: I’m doing pretty good.

CAMERON: Oh, he’s fine.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: He’s almost… A little less than half health.

NICK: The Gamorrean twirls; he sprints up to you, twirls his vibro-axe with surprising agility, and slashes you across the chest, and it bites deep, and it hurts real bad. Do you respond in any particular way?

STEVEN: Good thing it wasn’t my head tail.


CAMERON: (groans) There’s an idea.

NICK: We’re back to the top. Quiggle says, “Great work! Quiggle’s Crew always stands correct!” And then he also goes to shoot Sabos.

CAMERON: How are they spelling these words?


LAURA: I do not know. Maybe in their language it makes more sense. Like, it is actually alliteration and not just phonetic alliteration.

NICK: So, he’s gonna shoot at Sabos, which is a two difficulty still, except he’s gonna take a maneuver to aim now that he’s down behind cover. He’s gonna try to shoot at Sabos.

CAMERON: Blue die! He’s gonna try. Two failures, six advantages.

NICK: Alright, so he’s gonna give three blue dice to Tiny, because he doesn’t actually shoot with his blaster pistol, he actually shoots a little tracking dart that hits Sabos in the chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it starts to beep a little, and that big rifle that’s on the ground has a laser that lines up with it, and the rifle starts to beep. So, I wonder what that’ll do.

CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine.

NICK: I’m sure it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.

LAURA: It’ll be okay.

NICK: Yeah. So that was Quiggle’s turn. Two PC slots.

STEVEN: I’m gonna pull the tracking dart out.

NICK: Nope.

STEVEN: I can’t?

NICK: Nope.

STEVEN: Can I shoot it out?

NICK: You can try.

STEVEN: Can I use my vibro-knife to cut it out?

NICK: You can absolutely try.

STEVEN: That seems like a good idea.

NICK: Alright. Do that.

STEVEN: Oh wait, no—Oh, I have some Melee. Yeah, that’s fine. Is Melee what we’re gonna do here?

NICK: That or Medical.

LAURA: (laughs) Melee against the tracking dart. (laughter) I wanna try to cut something delicately out of my torso… Eh, Melee check!

HUDSON: Melee!

NICK: Use an uppercut!

LAURA: I’m gonna use a giant knife!

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: We’re gonna say it’s average, but every threat is going to hurt you.

CAMERON: Okay. There you go, buddy.

NICK: Also, flip me a dark side point. Let’s upgrade one of those suckers.

STEVEN: Alright. That’s cool.

NICK: I want Sabos to stab himself so bad.

STEVEN: Nah, we’re gonna be fine.

CAMERON: Hey, you’re fine.

STEVEN: A success and an advantage.

NICK: Yeah. You’re able to carve the tracking device out. You don’t hit yourself, you just put a little divot in the armor and the tracking device falls out, and with the advantage it rolls far enough away from you—

STEVEN: Can I get behind cover?

NICK: Yeah. You can use a maneuver to try and get to some cover. There are the mobile folding chairs, and there is the trash can fire.

STEVEN: The trash can sounds amazing. Just warm up behind the trash can fire.

NICK: Okay, so it’s gonna take two maneuvers to do. You can use one maneuver to move up to the trash can fire, and if you take a strain you can take another one to take cover on the opposite side of the barrel from Quiggle.

CAMERON: (giggles)

STEVEN: Yeah, I’ll take a strain.

NICK: Okay. You are now both back to back with the barrel between you.

STEVEN: That sounds fine.

NICK: As you slam into the barrel and it rolls you hear Quiggle go, “Hey! Give up now. There’s no chance.” That’s one PC slot. Next PC slot?

HUDSON: Can I go?

LAURA: Well, it doesn’t matter the order.


NICK: You can go if you want.

HUDSON: Okay, unless you had something really cool you wanted to do.

LAURA: I mean, I was gonna shoot someone. I don’t know if that’s cool in a…

HUDSON: I’m like super close to the Gamorrean, I think, so I was gonna go vibro-axe on him.

STEVEN: Just saying, there’s a, if y’all wanted to pick up the dart and put it somewhere useful…

CAMERON: No, that’s fine. You got this, buddy.

STEVEN: Haha, I mean it would help you all too.

HUDSON: So, the Gamorrean’s the pig monster, right?

NICK: That’s really mean.

LAURA: Stop calling him a pig monster! They’re an actual species that like does stuff!

CAMERON: Tink is the yeti monster.

HUDSON: I’m the yeti monster.

LAURA: They’re not monsters. They are people.

HUDSON: I just keep thinking of the pig monster from Power Rangers, and that’s what I visualize. Anyways. I have my vibro-axe, and I go after the Gamorrean for a vibro-axe battle!

NICK: In the background it starts going- (hums Duel of the Fates from The Phantom Menace).

NICK: Make your attack. Vibro-axes don’t have defense, do they?


NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: Two successes and a threat.

NICK: Okay, so the threat is you swing wide and leave yourself a little open so that when he attacks you he’s gonna be able to do something similar. Two successes… So, what’s your Brawn, three?


NICK: So that’s eight damage, but his Soak is three, so he’ll take five. Ooh, he’s not doing well.

HUDSON: Ha-ha!

NICK: You bury the vibro-axe into that space between his neck and his shoulder. It sinks in real good, and he squeals, and then he pulls back and gets ready to attack you except it’s not his turn. So, Tiny drops down prone, uses his maneuver to drop prone, which it’ll be harder to hit him, and he grabs that rifle, and he’s going to take another shot at Sabos. At this point he’s just trying to have done something with his life. So, it’s a yellow and a green versus two purple. Can you flip a dark side point?


NICK: It’s strong with him.

STEVEN: Behind the barrel even, only two purples?

NICK: Well, he’s off to the side. He’s not behind the barrel. Oh, you can have a black die for cover.

LAURA: I should note that throughout this whole time Xianna keeps yelling like, “Yes, Sabos, our leader, you told us to do this.”

STEVEN: “Everything’s fine.”

LAURA: “Defend yourself, leader!”

STEVEN: Well, that’s not good.

CAMERON: Two successes, four threats.

NICK: Hey, you know what happens when we get more than three threats.

CAMERON: The guy laying on the ground falls prone.

NICK: He falls prone. (deep bass noise) So, I guess that means the kick from the rifle is so strong that he goes flying backwards and he ends up on his back without his rifle anymore. How many successes was it?


HUDSON: Mega prone.

NICK: Two? So, it’s seven damage \reckless\, so it’s nine damage coming at you, Sabos.

CAMERON: (gasping laughter)


NICK: Minus your Soak.

CAMERON: Yeah, yeah, four. He’s down to one health.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s cool. Yeah.

CAMERON: I’m sure he’ll be fine.

STEVEN: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s fine.

LAURA: Good luck finding someone on this team who’s gonna heal you.

CAMERON: (laughing)

STEVEN: No, it’s all good. It’s all good.

NICK: That was Tiny’s turn, so it’s a PC slot.

LAURA: Is Quiggle visible, or is he still in his hiding spot?

NICK: He’s behind the barrel. You would get a black die to shoot at him, but you can see him. It’s just kind of hard to tell where the shadows end and he begins.

CAMERON: If you take out the almost dead guy, I’ll go after the live one.

LAURA: Well, because I don’t wanna get in the middle of this vibro-axe battle. That’s like an honor thing right now. They’re good.

CAMERON: Oh, see, I was gonna end that.

HUDSON: I’ll finish this!

CAMERON: Okay, you got it! You got it, Tink!

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna like honor their little one-on-one battle.

HUDSON: Thank you!

LAURA: Wait, Tiny’s alive, right?

CAMERON: Yeah, but Tiny’s down, almost.

NICK: He’s down on the ground, he’s bleeding a little, he’s not near his rifle…

LAURA: Oh, no, yeah, then Xianna’s gonna shoot at Quiggle.

NICK: He is covered in pistols, though.

LAURA: She’s gonna shoot at the Quiggle.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: Hee hee hee…

STEVEN: Quiggle the Quarren.

LAURA & CAMERON: (musically) Quiggle, Quiggle, Quiggle, do, do do, do…

NICK: I’m never naming NPCs again.

LAURA: I’m going to aim.


LAURA: I’m gonna flip a light side point.

NICK: Oooh.

LAURA: Four advantages. That’s it.

NICK: How would you like to spend those?

LAURA: He is going to drop the weapon he is holding.

NICK: Okay. So you shoot the blaster out of his hand. “Hey, that was the blaster my mother gave me.”

LAURA: “Oh, I did not know that. Sorry. I should have just shot your face instead.”

NICK: “I swear eternal vengeance. You have been submitted to Quiggle’s quarrel!”

(snorts and giggles)

LAURA: Xianna just kinda like stops. “What is with these names? Seriously.”

STEVEN: (laughs) Quiggle’s quarrel… “Were we not already in Quiggle’s quarrel?” I say behind the other side of the barrel.

NICK: “Shut up! Come out where I can shoot—Oh wait, I don’t have my gun anymore.”

HUDSON: Before this time there was an \accorem\.

STEVEN: “Come out where I can shoot you.”

CAMERON: Go get in Quiggle’s corner.

NICK: (laughing) So, it’s Karma’s shot.

CAMERON: I am going to shoot at Quiggle. I’m going to take a black die because he’s under cover. I’m going to take a blue die because I’m going to aim.

HUDSON: Shoot his privates.

LAURA: Nooo.

STEVEN: So, Tiny. So, you mean Tiny?

CAMERON: I’m going to flip a light side point to upgrade.

NICK: “Don’t castrate Quiggle~”

STEVEN: ‘Quastrate.’

CAMERON: And I’m going to—Stop. (laughs) I’m going to shoot him.

STEVEN: ‘Quiggle quastration.’

CAMERON: A success, two advantages. So that’s only ten damage.

NICK: Ooh, okay. That’s the first time he’s been hit. He yelps and ducks further behind the barrel as you hit him solidly in the shoulder. He’s not super happy. What?

CAMERON: Ah, my crit’s three.


CAMERON: Dang! So close. I have two.

LAURA: So, I still had an extra advantage from my turn. I don’t know if it’s too late to add a blue die to that.

CAMERON: (laughing) Can I have a retroactive blue die?

NICK: You can add a blue die to Karma.

CAMERON: Can I see what it does?

NICK: If you get an advantage.

CAMERON: If I get another advantage? Let’s see… Aw, it’s nothing. Damn.

NICK: Aw, bummer. It was worth a try.

CAMERON: Can my advantages be that the barrel falls over?

NICK: Sure.


NICK: And shoots sparks everywhere.

CAMERON: Yup, and he and Sabos fall back to back, because it just disappears.

NICK: Yeah. It falls to the side, shoots sparks everywhere, they’re very illuminated. Whoever shoots at Quiggle next will get a blue die, and Sabos and Quiggle actually are touching backs right now, and they do the thing where Quiggle looks left, and he looks left, so they look over each other’s opposite shoulders and they don’t make eye contact for a second. Then the Gamorrean, our giant pig friend, goes. He squeals to himself and swings his vibro-axe at Tink, because there’s a giant person with a vibro-axe in front of him. That’ll be two greens and a yellow versus two purple dice.
Oh, he failed the hell out of that.

CAMERON: One failure, two advantages.

NICK: So, the two advantages: He’s going to attack but get deflected, and he’s going to defend himself so whoever attacks him next will get a black die. How do you block his axe attack, Tink?

HUDSON: With my axe.

NICK: Okay. Does it shoot sparks everywhere and look super cool?


CAMERON, LAURA: (hum Duel of the Fates from The Phantom Menace).

NICK: Great! It’s up to Quiggle’s turn. He doesn’t have a gun, so he’s gonna straight try to punch Sabos in the back of the head. So he turns around and like grabs him, and he tries to punch Sabos in the face. That’s gonna be a yellow and a green versus two purples.

CAMERON: One threat.

NICK: One threat. No successes?


NICK: Aw, okay. So, whoever shoots at him next it’ll be two blue die. He tries to punch you and you manage to just duck your head out of the way, and he ends up awkwardly hugging you.


NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Quiggle cuddles!

STEVEN: Quiggle ‘kwuddle.’

NICK: “Beware the Quiggle cuddles!”

LAURA & CAMERON: Quiggle ‘kwuddles!’

NICK: ‘Kwuddles?’ I don’t wanna say ‘kwuddles.’

LAURA & CAMERON: Quiggle ‘kwuddles!”

NICK: Gosh. He’s a respectable space pirate, you guys. Okay.

LAURA: No he’s not!

CAMERON: And he’s so ‘kwuddly.’

LAURA: He’s just so quute!

STEVEN: He’s so quigglewy.

NICK: It is a PC slot.

STEVEN: I’m just gonna stab him with the vibro-knife.

NICK: Okay.


STEVEN: We’re sitting back to back, so.

LAURA: Stabby stab stab.

CAMERON: First person to attack Quiggle gets two blue dice.

STEVEN: Oh yeah.

NICK: He’s lit by fire light, and also just like standing awkwardly hugging you.

CAMERON: (seethes)

LAURA: What is—Okay.

CAMERON: That is cocked.

NICK: Yeah, you can reroll that one.

CAMERON: That’s cocked. Reroll it, and it better be good.

LAURA: That is a cock.


LAURA: There you go.

STEVEN: Hey, two successes. It is gonna be five total.

NICK: Five damage, okay. You stab him in the throat, it severs a couple of his face tentacles, and he drops.

STEVEN: But the pierce is two on it, so.

NICK: Yeah. You went through his Soak, so that’s how you brought him down. Quiggle’s on the ground coughing up greenish blood. He’s out of the fight. Another PC slot.

HUDSON: I’ll go ahead and finish off the Gamorrean.

NICK: Okay. Go for it.

CAMERON: Two purple.

HUDSON: Two purple.

CAMERON: And a black die, because he’s in defending zone.

NICK: Yes, thank you. Glad we have Cameron to help with that.


CAMERON: Nothing.


NICK: Absolutely nothing.

LAURA: Literally nothing. Just blank dice.

HUDSON: Nothing.

NICK: Okay, so, like a blade ballet you both clash, titans in the asteroid night amongst the fire light, the shrieking whine of your weapons pierces everyone’s minds, and they know this is a fatal encounter… but nothing happens.

STEVEN & CAMERON: (giggles)

HUDSON: I feel like this is like Phasma and Finn fighting (mumbles)

NICK: A little bit, a little bit, yeah, except you’re both giant and kind of lumbering, so you’re not as cool.

HUDSON: Yeah, that’s true.

NICK: Tiny’s gonna go. He’s still on his back. He uses a maneuver to roll onto his tummy, so he’s prone instead of prone, and he draws two blaster pistols and he attempts to shoot Sabos.

STEVEN: “You’re gonna shoot me?” I yell out, because I’m right back to back with his leader.

NICK: No, you stabbed him. He’s on the ground now.

STEVEN: Oh, haha, alright.

NICK: And he has a green and a yellow, and it’s three purples because he’s dual wielding. So, Sabos, you’re gonna flip one to upgrade his difficulty to shoot you?

STEVEN: I will.

NICK: Eh, he’ll also take a strain to aim.

CAMERON: So that’s two purples, one red, one yellow, one green, and one blue?

NICK: Yep.

CAMERON: It’s a rainbow, guys.

LAURA: It’s so pretty.

CAMERON: I really hope this misses.

NICK: I hope it doesn’t.

CAMERON: I’ma feel real bad if I roll the roll that kills you.


NICK: Ooh.

CAMERON: Eh, that’s one success.

STEVEN: Hey, look at that.

NICK: How many advantages?


STEVEN: Enough.

NICK: Oh man. You know what having two advantages does when you’re dual wielding, right?


NICK: Lets him use both pistols.

CAMERON: Yeah. One success, two advantages.

NICK: Yeah! So he’s gonna use those two advantages to activate his other pistol, which means he’s gonna do double damage.

STEVEN: Sure, sure.

NICK: Which means that’s gonna be twelve damage coming at you.

STEVEN: That’s gonna be tough. (laughter) That will put me around, oh, the negative seven mark, pretty darn close to zero.

NICK: And if you go down, then that’s a crit, guys. Alright, so you are now unconscious at negative seven. We now know that it does track for negatives, and go ahead and roll that crit that Tiny got on you.

CAMERON: Thirty-four.

LAURA: A 34! Let’s see… That is Stunned. The target is staggered until the end of his next turn.

CAMERON: You’re also unconscious, though.

NICK: So you can’t take another action. Bummer.

STEVEN: Yeah, because I’m unconscious. (laughs)

NICK: So, Sabos goes down in a blaze of pistols. Tiny sits up slightly, and is like, “I hit him? I hit him! Woo!” And then everybody looks at him, and he’s like, “Uhh… Great.”

LAURA: Xianna actually is like, “Aw, good job.”

NICK: “Cool. Uh, last chance for y’all to surrender, because I’ve taken out your leader.”

CAMERON: “Sweetie, I’m gonna reverse that. Last chance for you to surrender”

NICK: “Um…”

CAMERON: “You might notice your leader’s down too.”

LAURA: “He is dead.”

CAMERON: “And I really don’t wanna hurt you.”

LAURA: “Also, he is not actually our leader.”

NICK: “What?!”

LAURA: “We just said that so that you would target him. We don’t really like him too much.”

CAMERON: “Thanks for shooting him for us.”

NICK: “Oh, you’re welcome. Well, I mean, wait—“ Can you make me a check?

CAMERON: Coercion?

NICK: Coercion, yes. It’s super duper Coercion.

CAMERON: Can Xianna help me?

NICK: Yeah, absolutely.

CAMERON: Can we co-Coercion?

STEVEN: Coerce.

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: What’s Coercion?

CAMERON: It’s Willpower.

LAURA: Willpower? I have a two.

NICK: So you can have a blue die.

CAMERON: Okay. That at least gets me a blue.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: For this one since it was straight her glaring at him and saying we’re about to kill you.

CAMERON: Dang. I don’t have the Good Cop skill on my tree yet.

LAURA: Oh no.

CAMERON: It’s right there, though. I can see it.

NICK: The Skiptracer tree, everyone who hasn’t read it, you should look at it. It’s awesome. You have Good Cop and Bad Cop, and it’s great.

LAURA: Wait, no, no—

CAMERON: Well, Skiptracer doesn’t have Bad Cop, they just have Good Cop, but other ones have Bad Cop.

LAURA: But in other trees. Yeah, we found the one that has Bad Cop, and I don’t remember which one it is.

CAMERON: Okay. Let’s see how intimidating we are. Nope, nada. Zilch.

NICK: Okay. He looks concerned for a minute, but then he says, “As long as our friend is standing, Quiggle’s crew of cons will stay on top.” And he looks real sad, but he doesn’t drop his weapons.

LAURA: I’m trying to think of more C Q words. You have like Quiggle’s coterie.


NICK: But he left them on the ship.


NICK: So, PC slot.

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna shoot Tiny, and she’s gonna kinda sigh and look sad at him.

CAMERON: No. He said as long as his friend is standing. Shoot his friend.

LAURA: Xianna doesn’t wanna get in the way of an honorable duel. Okay?

HUDSON: Don’t get in the way of my honorable duel!

CAMERON: Karma will shoot his friend!


CAMERON: Karma don’t care! (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna is like, nuh-uh, those two are in close quarters combat. I’m going to honor that timely tradition-

HUDSON: Thank you.

LAURA: -and let them battle it out. You know. I’m gonna shoot the little tiny person.

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: Honorably.

LAURA: Is this like a child? I keep imagining like, short round.

NICK: He kind of looks like Mouse from the Matrix, so just like a scrawnier little guy.

LAURA: Oh. Just a small? I was straight up picturing short round, and I felt really bad because I was picturing like a little kid. Okay.

STEVEN: Seems like we’ve found ourselves in a Quiggle’s quagmire.


NICK: Ho-ho! Too bad you’re unconscious. You gasp that around the bloody bullet wounds in your chest.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: And I’m gonna aim. Is he still lying down prone?

NICK: Yeah, so you get a black die.


LAURA: One threat.

NICK: Okay. You shoot at him and it’s obvious that you’re not super invested in hitting him, because you feel kinda bad about it-

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: -and he ducks a little, and then sees that you’re not that committed to killing them, and he is heartened. He is very confident. That’s what the threat is.

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: Another PC slot.

LAURA: Karma should shooty-shoot-shoot.

CAMERON: Who am I shooting though is the thing. I’m questioning.

HUDSON: Shoot Tiny!

LAURA: I feel like Karma would shoot the Gamorrean.

CAMERON: Yeah, because how old does Tiny look?

NICK: Eighteen, maybe.

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: Yeah. There’s no way in hell Karma’s shooting Tiny.

HUDSON: For all you know the Gamorrean could be a child. They’re just that big.

STEVEN: (laughs)

CAMERON: Yeah, I don’t care. Yeah, I’m shooting the Gamorrean.

NICK: Okay. Ooh boy.

CAMERON: Alrighty, so that’s two successes, two threats, and a triumph.

NICK: Okay. The threats are Tiny is even more bolstered but you get a—Are you gonna use the triumph to crit, or?

CAMERON: No. I’m going to do ten damage to the Gigoran—err, Gamorrean. Not the—I’m not shooting Tink. I’m shooting the pig person!


CAMERON: Hold on. Gamorrean.

NICK: Okay, so, you hit him in the back of the head. He’s mid swing. He actually had the advantage for a second. He had used the pole of his vibro-axe to hit Tink in the stomach, and he was going up for a big overhead strike, and you just shoot him in the back of the head and he collapses like a sack of potatoes.

CAMERON: One of the things for triumphs is that they can take out—

NICK: They take out mooks. They don’t take out, like–

LAURA: Yeah, you can take out minions.

CAMERON: Oh, okay.

NICK: These are like actual PC characters you guys are shooting.

CAMERON: So you said my threats were that he was more bolstered?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

CAMERON: Mmkay, because I wanted the triumph to be that he started thinking about how sad his mom would be if he died.

NICK: I mean, the triumph could be you can go kind of through the bolster and you get one more chance to try to persuade him to stand down.


NICK: Okay. So, you give your speech. He’s standing there going, “I’m gonna live forever! Quiggles for life! Yeah!” Even though he’s bleeding, he’s waving his guns around.


CAMERON: “How old are you?”

NICK: “I’m 18. I’m gonna live forever.”

CAMERON: “Mm, I’m not thinking for that much longer actually if you keep holding that gun.”

NICK: “That sounds intimidating, but clearly we’re gonna win. I don’t need my friends. I’m the new captain. Yay!”

LAURA: So, I know this won’t help Karma dice-wise, but Xianna just kinda looks over and is like, “Do you know how many of my friends were dead by the time I was 18? A lot.”

NICK: “Yeah, most of mine, too. I mean, those two were pretty much the last ones except for Quiggle’s coterie, and they were always pretty mean to me.”

(snorts and giggles)

CAMERON: How do these words work?!

LAURA: You can see she’s using her hands to like make a Q, but then a C, and she’s like, “But isn’t coterie with a C? I do not… Nn.”

CAMERON: “Before you do anything stupid, I just want you to sit back and reflect on your short life at this point and also think of all the people who are going to be sad, like your mom, if you don’t make it out of here, but how proud she’d be of you if you left as the new captain. You could even rename the crew since Quiggle is … dead. Sorry, I can’t think of a dead word for a Q. I apologize.”

STEVEN: Quiggle has quit.


NICK: Sabos sits up, says that, and passes back out.

CAMERON: Thank you, disembodied voice of Sabos! Yup.

NICK: Go ahead and make me a roll. You can use whichever talky skill you think is most appropriate.

CAMERON: yeah, that’s happening, because none of mine are good.

LAURA: Okay, I’ll go ahead and flip that. I mean, not that the audience could see, because you know audio medium, but I was pointing at a light side.

NICK: I like to think that Tabletop Squadron is an audio large.


NICK: This is what happens when we play for five hours, guys. It only gets worse.

CAMERON: I’m going to use Charm, since I don’t think Deception fits at all.

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: I flipped a light side point, so I’m upgrading it.

LAURA: I can help with that.

NICK: Yeah, since you added stuff in.

LAURA: My Presence is a three.

CAMERON: Nice! Mine is only a two. So, what am I rolling against?

NICK: It’s gonna be two purple and a black die. The triumph cut through the three black dice it was originally gonna be.

CAMERON: Alright. I really hope we don’t have to kill this kid.

NICK: You’re gonna feel real bad.

CAMERON: I’m gonna feel so bad! It’s okay, I think we’re okay, two successes and an advantage.

NICK: Oh, he goes, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and drops his pistols, and then he proceeds to drop the other eight pistols he had strapped to his chest.

CAMERON: (laughs) Karma does a big sigh of relief.

NICK: “All hail Captain Tiny! Also, do you guys have any like medical supplies, because I’m getting pretty low on blood here.” He starts to kind of waver in place.

CAMERON: “Why don’t you… Lay down. We’ll find something.”

NICK: “Okay.” He collapses to the ground.

HUDSON: “It’s a quality Quiggle evening.”

NICK: And, that’s where we’re gonna end it.

(All make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 6 I Have Altered The Deal

PDF download: Episode 6 I Have Altered The Deal

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 6:
I Have Altered the Deal

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

I just wanted to take a second to thank MolarDuck for his very kind iTunes review. Only two more to go and we get to release our secret art. Please get out there and review the show.

We hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello, everybody, and welcome to Episode 6 of Tabletop Squadron. I’m your host, Nick. I’m gonna go around the table, and everybody introduce yourself and your character, and if you spent any experience since last time please tell the audience what you did. Starting off with Laura.

LAURA: I’m Laura. …

NICK: Hi Laura.

LAURA: (light laugh) I play Xianna, she’s a Twi’lek, and I bought another rank in the skill Underworld.

NICK: Because you have Streetwise.

LAURA: Well, I already have Streetwise. This is Underworld. It’s an Intelligence skill. Streetwise is a Cunning based skill.

NICK: Right. Of course.

LAURA: In case you wanna know how this game works.

NICK: Yeah. If you wanna know how the game works, look at our Instagram. We have all the rules.

CAMERON: Tabletop_Squad

NICK: Yeah. That’s gonna be in the outro. And next, Steven.

STEVEN: Hello.

NICK: Hi Steven.

STEVEN: Hi, I’m Steven.


STEVEN: Hi. I am playing the Togruta, Sabos, and also doing what I can to make Nick’s life harder.

NICK: Of course you are. Great. Have you spent any experience?

STEVEN: Oh yes, yes I did. See, this is the part of making it harder I was talking about. Yeah, I upgraded my Survival, which is a Cunning skill, to 2.

NICK: Ooh, smart.

STEVEN: No, Survival.


NICK: And, next up we have Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson. It’s great to be here, Nick.

NICK: Great. Good to have you.

HUDSON: I’m playing a Gigoran named Tink. I did not use any of my experience points, opting to hoard them.


LAURA: Like some sort of fluffy dragon.


NICK: Great. Last up, but not least, we have Cameron.



CAMERON: I’m Cameron. I play Karma. She’s a Nautolan bounty hunter, and I upgraded my Cool skill to Rank 2.

NICK: Nifty keen. Alright, let’s go ahead and do the Destiny Roll.

STEVEN: Sure. Why not?


STEVEN: Okay. We’re going good so far. One dark side.


STEVEN: Okay, another dark side.

LAURA & STEVEN: And another dark side.

NICK: Oh, am I gonna win the game?

STEVEN: I’m gonna try to save y’all here. And another dark side! We did great!

NICK: Yes. Excellent!

LAURA: These dice didn’t listen to us. We tried to get the bad rolls out…

CAMERON: It didn’t work.

LAURA: …and then we primed the dice by putting the two light sides up to encourage it and let it know what we expect out of it.

NICK: How did that work out for you?

LAURA & CAMERON: Not well.

STEVEN: We have lots of dark side.

CAMERON: None of us rolled two dark sides, so…

NICK: Well, there you go. Mediocrity. Wonderful.

STEVEN: I mean, we did pretty good at failing, just not as good as we could have.

CAMERON: Four dark side.

NICK: Great. I’ll be happy to use those this session. I’m sure it’ll come up.


STEVEN: I’m sure you will.

NICK: So, if you remember, last time we went on an adventure into the jungle, a little bit of a man hunt. You got into a gun fight with Lira and Williams, the stormtrooper and the officer. You murdered Lira by having a tree eat her, proving that Mills was not crazy, and that the trees actually are alive and extremely dangerous, and you opted to let Williams go and fake his death without Mills noticing. Then, you loaded a corpse into the back of your speeder and you are headed back to the outpost. We’ll pick up there.

STEVEN: What model of speeder?

NICK: It’s a big one.

CAMERON: (laughs)


NICK: A six-seater with off-road skids.

HUDSON: Say it’s the Model T Ford, may the trouble, may the people wanna go, wanna get, wanna get, wanna get up and go!



STEVEN: I’m liking where this is going.

NICK: Ah… Alright. We open on a jungle treetop with the reddening late afternoon sun overhead. You hear the drone of a single speeder beneath the trees. one of the trees groans and begins to lean, but another tree whips its branches around tangling with the trunk. The trees snap at each other. There’s the sound of a blaster rifle being fired. Bolts blast up through the trees which stop moving, and some strange monkey creatures with lobster tails go skidding along the canopy.

Our viewpoint drops through the trees into the dim jungle. A speeder is whipping through the undergrowth, dodging fallen logs and underbrush. Occasionally, the elevation changes and the speeder lurches upward on the metal skids that cover the bottom, designed for just that purpose.

Inside the speeder we see our heroes, with Mills, their companion. The speeder roars past the camera, and from the rear we see a large crate affixed to the back. The speeder hits a bump, and a bloody arm in stormtrooper gear falls out of the trunk swaying back and forth in the momentum of travel.

So, you are driving back.

CAMERON: Did we pick up Spark Duelson when he died, or did we just leave him lying there? I don’t remember.

NICK: That’s a good question. You never really mentioned it.

CAMERON: I looted his body, behind the speeder… I’m going to say I tossed him up on the back of the speeder.

LAURA: I would not have.

NICK: Okay. Is he just like Weekend At Bernie’s in the backseat right now?

CAMERON: Yeah. I just felt bad. I mean, I’m sure he has a mom somewhere who’s worried about him, and this is really gonna hit her hard that her son was both a failure in the Empire and is now dead. So, you know…

NICK: Mm-hmm. So, I know Tink is driving, we settled that last time, Mills is in the seat next to him, and then who’s stuck in the backseat with the corpse?


LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: It’s touching my fourth head tail.


LAURA: In case you haven’t noticed, Xianna likes to call things, and she almost certainly saw Karma putting the body into the backseat and immediately was like “Middle seat! I call middle seat! I do not want to sit with the dead body…”

STEVEN: “I don’t want to either.”

LAURA: “Yes, but you see, I called it first. So, that is how that works.”

HUDSON: “Those are the rules.”

NICK: Mills slots his blaster rifle into the little cubby under the dashboard, and you all have those big helicopter earphones on with the wrap around microphones so you can talk to each other over the noise of the speeder. He says, “Well, that was interesting. I’m glad you got to see what the plant life of this planet can really do.”

LAURA: Do any of us have ears…?

CAMERON: (bursting laughter)

LAURA: Like, real ears? Are these made for human ears? I have ear cones, so they probably would stick out on the ear cones, and thinking about it, no one knows if Togrutas and Nautolans have actual ears or what, and he’s just fur… so I’m sure he has ears somewhere in there.

HUDSON: They’re buried in there, though.

CAMERON: He probably knows where they are though, so if he was putting on a headset…

LAURA: He just like smooshes them in and sways them side to side.

NICK: He just has them strapped to his nipples in the front, that’s where Gigorans hear from.

CAMERON: Oh, weird…

HUDSON: Not quite. (laughs)

LAURA: I’m sure they’re on his head, and he just has to like circle them around to get the hair out of the way, but the rest of us are probably having them awkwardly positioned around tentacles and ear cones to try and make them fit.

CAMERON: Yeah. So, I have a com link, and I have one of the ear ones that’s hidden so it’s not like on my wrist, but it’s just somewhere up in my tentacles with wherever the ear is… So, I probably have a couple of tentacles in front of them and a couple behind them and they’re weirdly far back on my head.

NICK: This is great. So, everybody’s wearing their earphones just kind of at a weird angle.


STEVEN: It makes my first and fourth head tail more prominent, because it pushes it up.

CAMERON: Well, how do yours work, because you have the montrals on top?

LAURA: That’s not where your… I don’t think he understands how the head tails work. (laughs)

STEVEN: Yeah, I don’t know. (laughs)

CAMERON: You have them, like, to go in between the two pointy bits you have like one on your nose and one on the back of your head. (giggles)

STEVEN: It’s tough.

LAURA: No, it’s probably angled so that the band that connects them is on the forehead.

STEVEN: It’s just on my forehead. Yeah.

CAMERON: Or he’s one of the super cool guys that—


CAMERON: –who has the band below his chin, and it’s like a beard.

STEVEN: It’s special headphones with cut-outs for…

NICK: These are just standard.

CAMERON: No. we’re at an Empire outpost. They don’t particularly like aliens. None of these were made for anyone with tentacles.

NICK: Yeah. They’re definitely designed for humans.


NICK: Do you guys have anything you want to debrief about while you’re on the speeder back?

CAMERON: I’m leaning against the wall of the speeder with my head in my hand breathing deeply. I don’t look too good.

NICK: Yeah. You got shot a whole bunch last episode.

CAMERON: Yeah. I’m looking a little green.

NICK: Ah… ha ha.

LAURA: Haaa…

CAMERON: But it’s because I’m a Nautolan, not because I’m sick.

NICK: There are some char marks going down the side of the inside of the speeder from rubbing off of the massive wounds that you have.

CAMERON: Both in the back, I think. I think I got shot in the back twice.

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Yup. So, I’m kind of leaning away from the back of the seat, too, so I’m not leaning against the wounds. I don’t look particularly chatty at the moment.

LAURA: I do look at Sabos, and go “You owe me four stim packs.”

STEVEN: “I’ll get right on that.”

LAURA: “I healed you. You should owe me.”

STEVEN: “I don’t disagree.” I shuffle through my bag, looking through my inventory, it does not include any stim packs.

LAURA: “Then buy them.”

STEVEN: “We’re not at a store right now.”

LAURA: “We will be.”

STEVEN: “Noted.”

LAURA: “That is why I said you OWE me. Future tense.” (giggles)

HUDSON: “Sabos, I think she wants you to get some stim packs for her.”

STEVEN: “I will get some stim packs as soon as I get enough credits to buy the stim packs.”

CAMERON: “You all sound like my kids.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: (smiling) We’ll use that as the transition.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: So, the speeder goes whipping off through the trees, and we have a swipe cut. The speeder goes right to left on the screen and the transition swipes with the speeder to reveal the clearing for Outpost 4. As you pull in to the clearing you see that there are three stormtroopers posted outside of the Afternoon Delight, your Starwind pleasure yacht. While they are obviously on guard duty, they don’t react as you burst out of the final growths of the jungle and into the clearing around the outpost. There are two more scout troopers by the main gate which is still open, and they wave you through without incident after a hand signal from Mills.

He has taken off his bandana and is using it to wipe the camouflage paint from his face. He says, “Park us in the square. I’ll take the body to the morgue, and you go report to Falx.”

CAMERON: “Bodies.”

NICK: “Oh. Right. Sparks.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

NICK: “Yeah, okay, I’ll take the bodies to the morgue.”

CAMERON: “Thank you.”

NICK: So, the speeder, Tink, I guess you set it down in the square in the middle of the outpost?

HUDSON: Yeah. Throw the keys in.

NICK: Okay. Mills immediately piles out and detaches the big crate that’s on the back and just starts dragging that off to the side, and then remembers Sparks and goes back. “Well, that’s the third one this month…” and grabs the guy and starts dragging him towards a low sloped building off towards one of the barrier walls. You hear him mumbling about having to make multiple trips, and he doesn’t seem particularly enthused.

CAMERON: “I’m not surprised they don’t last long if that’s the level, the caliber of people they’re at.”

LAURA: “Only three a month?”

CAMERON: I’m trying to get out of the speeder. (laughs)

LAURA: “That seems low.” (giggles)

STEVEN: Have you seen those trees?

LAURA: Like yeah, those trees!

HUDSON: “Karma, do you need some help getting out of there?”

CAMERON: “Yes, please.”

HUDSON: I picked up Karma.

NICK: You just pick her up?

HUDSON: I pick her up to bring her wherever we’re going.

STEVEN: Her blood soaking into your fur, staining it forever.

HUDSON: Not forever, I have space Tide.


LAURA: He’s got some space bleach.

NICK: He’s got a Tide pen that’s a laser.

HUDSON: In the future Tide pods are actually edible.

(laughter and groaning)


NICK: Okay. You head toward the mansion, I guess?

HUDSON: Yeah. We head toward the mansion to report back.

LAURA: Before we go in, Xianna does look at Sabos and Tink, and points at both of them. “Neither of you two talk. Be quiet. Be seen but not heard.”

HUDSON: “What did I do?”

STEVEN: “Nothing happened.”

LAURA: “You two are bad at the talking.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “What?!”

STEVEN: ‘I’m a really good driver.”

LAURA: “Sure. Sure you are, yes, but the talking you are not good at. Please let me talk, and maybe Karma. She can talk.”

STEVEN: “So should we not mention how we got the…”

LAURA: “No.”


LAURA: “Do not talk. Do not say anything. Look pretty. Okay?”

HUDSON: “She can’t talk because she’s bleeding to death in my arms. I should be able to talk because I’m fine.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “No. No no no. Just be pretty, do not talk, okay?”

HUDSON: “I’m covered in blood. I’ll neither be pretty nor will I refuse to talk.”

LAURA: “(defeated sigh)”

CAMERON: “I don’t look very pretty right now either, Tink. It’s alright.”

NICK: With that, we’ll cut to the next thing. There’s a star wipe. Why not? We’ll do a star wipe.


NICK: It cuts to the group standing in a well-appointed office. It’s all fur and dark wood. Falx is leaning back in a chair behind a large desk with his feet up. He’s wearing a black Imperial uniform that seems to have been tailored to make him look athletic and imposing. He takes a sip from a martini glass and gestures for you to speak.

STEVEN: “Falx!”

NICK: “Well hi! It seems like you made it—Whoa. What happened to your fishy friend?”

LAURA: “Oh, do not worry about her. She will be fine.”

NICK: “I could call for a medic or something.”

CAMERON: “Yes. Yes, please. Yes, please.”

STEVEN: “She might—“

LAURA: “Ye— That would be good. Thank you.”

HUDSON: “Do that.”

NICK: Alright. He reaches under the desk and presses something, and a little while later you see someone in what looks like an officer’s uniform, it’s all white and has a little red cross on it. That person says “Lean the patient over here, please. Put her down in this chair. I’ll see what I can do.” There’s a chair, and he folds the back down so it’s more of a stool. As Karma sits on it he starts to take out bacta and peel back the armor, and probably helps you out of the outer layer and starts stitching you up and doing random medical things.


NICK: Could somebody make me a check with three greens and a yellow, please?

CAMERON: What difficulty?

NICK: Just a simple check. This is for the medic. Medic checks are simple.

CAMERON: Four successes, two advantages.

NICK: Great. You’re gonna get 4 health back. Then, he also uses a bunch of bacta on you so you get 10 additional health back, because bacta packs are awesome.

CAMERON: Oh yeah.

NICK: So, you should be back to full, but that’s gonna be over the course of the scene. You’ll be under medical attention for the whole time.


NICK: You hear the medic kind of mumbling to himself as he sees under the armor about how he’s having to use all this bacta, and who knows when the next shipment will be, and he starts stitching… It hurts, but this has happened before. You’re pretty used to this.

CAMERON: Yup. No biggie. It’s better if you don’t move.

NICK: So, Falx kicks his feet back up onto the desk and takes a sip of his martini. “So, it appears that you met some resistance. What happened?”

STEVEN: “Did you know the trees move?”

NICK: “Oh yeah, unfortunate feature of our lovely home, Unroola Dawn. I probably should’ve told you about that beforehand.”

LAURA: “Well, yes, but… The people we were sent to obtain, they fought back a little bit, and they are both dead.”

NICK: “Wow… Okay.”

LAURA: “One of the bodies was together enough to bring back. The other one, just some little bits.”

NICK: “Did you bring the little bits?”

LAURA: “I think so.” (giggles)

CAMERON: I feel like Karma has them in her pack.

NICK: Okay. Do you show them?

LAURA: I’m pretty sure we got the hat and his insignia.

CAMERON: We got the hat, some bloody uniform, and his… rank thing.

LAURA: Yeah, his rank insignia.

STEVEN: “The tree claimed most of the little bits.”

CAMERON: I try not to move, and I just pull a pouch that has them in it off my belt and gently toss it to Xianna, because I’m being stitched.

LAURA: Xianna kinda pulls back, like “Ew.”

CAMERON: “It’s in a pouch.”

LAURA: Still, she’s like ‘ick,’ and like picks it up with two little fingers and puts it on his desk. “I threw a grenade… Sorry.”

NICK: Falx opens the bag and very nonchalantly pulls out the bloody scraps of fabric. “Ew. Gross.” And puts it back in the bag.

LAURA: (laughs) ‘I know.”

NICK: “I’ll have to ask Sparks about exactly what happened. Where is he?”

CAMERON: (seethes)

LAURA: “Oh, by the way… Sparks is also dead. One of those weird furball scorpion crab thingies got him while we were being attacked by the trees.”

STEVEN: “Tasty creatures, but feisty.”

NICK: “Y-Yeah… Wow. Racked up quite a body count on this pretty simple job.”

LAURA: “We were not aware the trees were murderous.”

CAMERON: “Your five troopers are dead, too.”

NICK: “Yeah. That’s why I sent you all.”

LAURA: “Mills also seemed to have some sort of war flashback and ran off into the trees for a bit.”

NICK: “Ha-ha! Oh, that Mills, such a card. He was probably testing you. He does that to me from time to time.”

The camera cuts to Mills in the morgue, and he’s just dumping Spark’s body into a freezer container but it looks kind of like a dumpster, and one of the legs is sticking out at a weird angle. “Man, someday I’ll have to stop doing this…” and he’s like hitting it down with a broom to try to get it into the freezer, and the camera cuts back to you all.

(nervous laughter)


CAMERON: I’m glad none of our characters saw that.

NICK: “So, there’s no one to collaborate your story.”

LAURA: “Mills was there when I accidentally blew up Williams. He also saw Lira get murdered by a tree.”

HUDSON: “Did you say collaborate the story?”

NICK: “Co-oberate the story.”

HUDSON: “Corrob— Ah.”


NICK: “Corroborate.”


NICK: “Ah! Tink! You finally speak!”

LAURA: She’s like poking Tink, and she’s like, (whispered) “No…”

HUDSON: I glare.

NICK: “I thought from all the blood stains that maybe you’d been wounded.”

HUDSON: “Oh no, just carrying Karma.”

NICK: “Ah—Oh… Right. Well, I’m glad you all made it back. I kinda sent you on a suicide mission, and then right after you left I felt sort of bad, which is weird for me.”

LAURA: “Um, thank you?”


STEVEN: “Yeah… We’ll just take the payment.”

NICK: “Right. Yeah, we can probably make that happen. So, just to recap: The officer I trusted died beforehand, and the two people I sent you to get died, and one of them you brought back a hat, and Mills who honestly is not the most reliable of fellows will have to answer this later. Did I miss anything?”

LAURA: “Um… Wait. Duelson was a trusted officer? I thought he was like, a private. He was, like, so young.”

NICK: “By trusted I mean he was too scared of me to lie to me.”

LAURA: “Oh. I understand now. (giggles)”

NICK: “I don’t know if you could tell, but he was my snitch, my patsy, the one to tell me what was going on.”

LAURA: “Oh no. it is never good when you lose your snitch.”

CAMERON: Karma thinks back on all the information that Spark Duelson told us before he died about secret codes and leaving the base and everything, and is like yeah, I could see how he’d be a good snitch, but says it silently to herself.

NICK: Mm-hmm. I’m gonna need a Deception check probably from Xianna and one other person.

LAURA: Can do!

NICK: Tink or Karma can help, because you two were the ones that talked the most.

STEVEN: That’s good, because I don’t deceive.

CAMERON: Do you have any Deception?

HUDSON: No, I have none.

LAURA: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: It’s gonna be three purple.

CAMERON: Are we both making checks, or am I helping Xianna?

NICK: It’s an assistance.

CAMERON: Okay. Take a blue, because you’re better at Deception than me.

STEVEN: Everything I said was 100% true, weird monkeys, weird trees.


LAURA: Three successes.

NICK: Alright. He thinks for a minute and scratches at one of his head spikes. “Well, sounds pretty trustworthy to me. Glad you made it back in one piece.”

STEVEN: “Are you?”

NICK: “Yeah! I think we’re friends.”

LAURA: “Yes. Yes we are.” Xianna smiles.

CAMERON: Karma gives a pained look as something happens to her back.

STEVEN: You got shot a lot.

NICK: Yeah. The medic kinda tugs on one of your head tentacles.

CAMERON: (seethes)

NICK: “Stand still.”

CAMERON: “I’m sitting.”

NICK: “Or sit still.” He’s got a lot of blood, probably up to his elbow as he’s digging around in there.

CAMERON: “And I’m not moving, you’re wiggling.”

NICK: “Look, we could do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way, it’s gonna hurt.” You flinch again as he digs deeper in there. You’re not sure why he’s digging in there, because it wasn’t bullets, so there’s nothing in there to dig out…

LAURA: Tree bark.

NICK: Could be. Making sure it’s not infected… with his hands.

STEVEN: Aren’t there weird tree spores and shit?

NICK: Yes, there are.

CAMERON: (laughing) Yes, that’s true. He’s disinfecting.

NICK: Oh, speaking of the weird tree spores, in the office you notice one of those humming heat lamp things that they use for them is hanging from the ceiling. You didn’t notice it at first because it was behind a light fixture, but it’s the same kind of technology. It’s the kind of thing where Falx, in his home setup, would basically be able to be decontaminated constantly, all the time.

“Well, this would be a well-executed mission except for a couple of small things.” He presses a button under his desk, and you see the pudgy quartermaster from before walk in. Falx says, “Why don’t you tell my good friends what you told me, quartermaster?”

The pudgy quartermaster goes, “(huffs) Okay. So… I was thinking back about these transactions that these people made with me and realized I recognize that Togruta.” He points at Sabos. “When I was the quartermaster at Outpost 2, he’s the one that came and tried to make some trade agreement for his little colony.”

STEVEN: “Not little. Well, I mean, smaller than… Okay, fine.”

LAURA: The moment he starts talking Xianna immediately sighs, because in her head she’s like (exasperated) you always deny everything, you stay silent, you deny, you ask for a lawyer!

STEVEN: “You mean (muffled speech) Osaron?”

NICK: “Yeah. That’s the stupid place. Look, he said they were going to trade exotic goods for basic supplies, and we sent a good faith payment, and he never sent anything back. It happens from time to time. Then, that idiot came back.”

STEVEN: “I assure you I did send my side of the deal back. I sent one of my best pilots.”

HUDSON: … Roll Deception?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: (laughs) Did you, actually?

STEVEN: No. (laughs) I don’t have anything at all.

LAURA: At this moment, Xianna’s leaning over to Karma and whispers to her. “Wait, is he actually a con artist? That would make so much more sense.”

STEVEN: How hard is it?

NICK: Three purple.

CAMERON: Karma whispers back. “He’d be better at lying.”

NICK: Also, two black die because he’s already done a bunch of research on this ahead of time.


HUDSON: If you pass this check, I’ll like, get naked and do cartwheels.

NICK: Oh, and wouldn’t it be cool if you had some light side points to flip, which you don’t, so let’s go ahead and flip a dark side point.

STEVEN: Damn it. This isn’t Streetwise or Knowledge. That sucks. (laughs nervously)

LAURA: (groans) That is a sad, sad roll.

STEVEN: Okay, this is fine.

CAMERON: Three greens, two black, two purple, and one red.

STEVEN: “I totally sent your shipment with one of my best pilots…”

CAMERON: You did not…

STEVEN: Okay, so there’s a lot of advantages, but I did end up failing a couple times. I have two failures and two advantages. “Uh, I’m lying. It was not actually one of my best pilots.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Yeah, so be thinking about how you want to spend those advantages, and it’s not that you can make people believe you. Falx’s smile gets real wide. “That’ll be all, quartermaster.”

The guy huffs. “Thanks for using my lunch break,” and wanders out.

Falx says, “So, obviously, you owe the Empire quite a bit of money. Standard support package, that’s about 100,000 credits.

LAURA: “What?!”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna previously had her elbow on an armchair, like forehead in her hand, just sighing down, and then immediately goes, “What did you do with that?”

CAMERON: Karma hisses again.

STEVEN: “Let’s just say, I was busy executing other trade deals, and uh, well I haven’t yet come up with my side. As soon as I get back to Osaron, I promise I’ll do it. What type of thing would you be interested in?”

NICK: “We’ll deal with that here in a second. There’s gonna be an easier way to repay your debt.”

STEVEN: “Oh. I’m happy.”

NICK: “But before that…” He presses something under his desk and you see a holo-camera pop up. He presses a button. There’s like the little dialing tone which is like a little spinning Imperial gear logo, and then a hologram of a guy’s torso facing towards Falx shows up. You can see a reflection in the window behind him, so you can see the whole guy.

It is a large gentleman with a little bit of a paunch wearing a black Imperial uniform, very similar to Falx’s, and he’s got bushy hair and really big mutton chops that also look like his hair. He has kinda like Whoville looking hair if it was combed down and then big mutton chops, and then he has a big eyepatch that takes up about a quarter of his face.

“Ah yes, Regional Governor Silpin. I remember you sent me a missive a little while ago. Could you explain to me again about that robbery last year? I may have found a lead for you.”

LAURA: (quietly) “Oh shit…” (laughs)

NICK: Silpin starts talking, and he has a low but kind of whiney voice. “Well, you know that we had this problem a while ago with some sort of Twi’lek con artist thief, and she came in and she seduced me, and she stole a whole bunch of documents that should not ever see the light of the sun, and then she stole all my wife’s jewelry. She almost left me because of that. I had to spend so much money to get it back. It was a purple Twi’lek, and I don’t remember her name, but it was pretty bad. She wore this big coat, and she was real pretty, and look what happened to me now. I used to be stationed somewhere nice, and now I’m here on Unroola Dawn because of the embarrassment. You know all of this. I’m sure you’re just trying to make fun of me, but if you do have any information I will kill the heck out of that person and have them tortured for a very long time. I’ve been developing torture droids specifically for this.”

Falx says, “Tell you what, my friend, I’m gonna dig into that a little more and get back to you,” and he slides the camera back down into its compartment.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: The moment he puts it down, Xianna holds her finger up. “Okie, in my defense, the wife gave me most of the jewelry. I don’t think he wants to know that I also was seducing her.”

NICK: “I think in the long run that may be a little irrelevant.”

LAURA: ‘It may actually make things worse, now that I think about it. He might not appreciate that fact.”

NICK: Falx pulls a few tumblers up from under his desk. His desk is pretty much clear, but for some reason all the storage seems to be just under it. He pulls some tumblers out and pulls a decanter of blue, clear fluid, and pours in a circle. It spills on the desk a little but it fills up the glasses. He kind of taps them towards you all.

Karma, at this point the medic kind of slaps on your back, and it doesn’t hurt because of all the bacta, it’s pretty numb and cold. It kind of feels like when you put that aloe gel on a sunburn, where it’s cold and a little stinging but mostly numb.

CAMERON: Mmm. Nice.

NICK: The medic says, “That’s the best I can do,” and he walks out of the room. You realize that his face never changed at all during that whole process, like he’s very practiced at not listening or at least not reacting to these things, and he’s gone, and you can put your armor back on.

Falx says, “You might as well have a drink, because we have a lot to talk about.”

STEVEN: “I like your style, Falx.”

NICK: “That’s great. I don’t particularly like yours. You don’t seem to be very good at this.”

STEVEN: “Well, I’m doing the best I can for my small little colony.”

LAURA: While this is happening Xianna takes a glass for her and then takes one and hands it to Karma, and like shoves it into her hand, and has to like pull her hand up into the glass to hold it.

STEVEN: I’ll take a drink off the desk, pretty immediately.

HUDSON: I take the drink off the desk.

CAMERON: Karma leans back into the armchair, keeps on holding the drink but doesn’t drink it.

NICK: Okay. If you take a sip of it it’s teeth-hurtingly sweet. You can’t taste alcohol in it at all, but your vision lags slightly. It’s very, very, very strong.

HUDSON: I pour a little bit of it onto the blood on my fur and rub it around to see if it gets the blood out.

NICK: It turns purple, because of the red-brownish blood it turns this weird purple sludgy kind of color, and just kind of stains you like a Teletubby.

HUDSON: “Can I get a towel?”


NICK: Falx shakes his head to himself and says, “Lovable scamp.” He claps, and the protocol droid from the night before waddles out with a really nice napkin, like before.

He says, ‘Oh, you rang?”

Falx says, “Give him the napkin.” The droid, whose face doesn’t move, still manages to look mortified and hands it over, hangs his head, and then waddles out of the room.

HUDSON: I wipe the blood off and thank Falx.

STEVEN: I see him do that, so I dip my head tail in the glass too, just to see what happens.

HUDSON: (snorts)

NICK: Um… It’s like… dipping your forehead in Windex. It’s blue and drippy.


CAMERON: Why? (laughs)

LAURA: The moment they start doing this, Xianna just looks down into her glass… and then just downs the whole thing.

NICK: It’s good. It is very good. It is extremely strong. You’ve had it before. What is it called?

LAURA: Ooh! Okay…

CAMERON: You said it’s blue?

NICK: It’s blue and clear.

LAURA: It’s blue, and it’s strong… Hmm.

STEVEN: It’s not the star thing, is it?


LAURA: A Naboo Sky.

NICK: A Naboo Sky? Because yeah, Falx is the kind of guy who keeps named mix drinks in a decanter. That makes sense.

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: He’s got a thermos with martini in it.

LAURA: Well, they’re the kind of alcohol mix drinks that are all alcohol, so you can just keep it in a decanter.

NICK: Yup.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: So, you have A Naboo Sky. You know that these things are like, if you wanna get super drunk you have one, and he just poured out quite a bit. He finishes his martini, pours some of the blue drink into it, and has a sip of that. “So, obviously the deal has changed. It’s a pretty strange coincidence that you all are here, but at the same time the galaxy seems to work in mysterious ways. I could have you killed. I could have you detained. That doesn’t really serve my purposes. So, here’s what we’re gonna do.”

He points to a large crate by the doorway with a briefcase on top of it. You didn’t really notice it on the way in. “That large crate contains the Stone Breaker. Take it. Do whatever you need with it. I wouldn’t be able to sell it anyway. I’m sure Sentinel will get in touch with you pretty soon after you’re out of here. Here’s the catch, before you do whatever you’re supposed to do with him, I need you to deliver that briefcase to some of my business associates.” He reaches under the table and pulls out a small data pad and slides it on the desk to where you can reach it easily.

“The coordinates are on here. You make this payment for me, and do it quickly, and I’ll ignore some of these other coincidences that have popped up. You delay my delivery, force me to get involved with the people that want that briefcase, and I call back Regional Governor Silpin, give him all the knowledge I have, and tack on the money that this Togruta owes the Empire to help him finance a task force. He’s a boring man, but tenacious. I’m sure you know all about that.” He winks at Xianna.

LAURA: Xianna’s like, “Hmm. Very boring. Yes.”

NICK: “I’ll give you a head start, but it would be inconvenient, maybe fatal, for you all to rebel.” He leans back in his chair.

LAURA: Xianna is nodding, takes the data pad. “I understand. We will do your briefcase delivery first, ASAP.”

STEVEN: “What’s in the briefcase?”

NICK: “I wouldn’t worry about that.”

CAMERON: Karma’s now worried about it.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s fine because it’s a briefcase, so there’s probably no people inside of it.

CAMERON: That’s why Karma’s worried.

HUDSON: “Just to make sure we don’t know these business partners, who are the business partners?”

NICK: “Oh, it’s just a small crime syndicate from the outer rim, some people who have done some runs for me in the past. You know, what comes around goes around.”

LAURA: “The briefcase, it does not have volatile materials, does it? Should it not be near an open flame? Should we not move it around too much?”

NICK: “Well, you may notice that’s pretty nice bantha leather. I’d prefer you didn’t burn up the briefcase. You could use that again. Otherwise, the material’s fine.”

LAURA: “Okie. I was making sure it was not like a bomb or something that we would need to be careful with.”

STEVEN: “Yeah. You’ve seen my style for how I like to roll into planets.”

CAMERON: Gosh. Karma starts running through a list of all the members of crime gangs from the outer rim that she’s turned in.

NICK: There’s a lot.


NICK: Most crime syndicates and gangs know about you, do not like you.


NICK: The good news, I would imagine being an alien in the Star Wars universe, even one that’s fairly popular, unless you have a really obvious calling card, since most species don’t recognize each other with a ton of detail they’re not gonna see somebody and be like ‘oh, that’s Karma.’ The reason people all recognized Jango and Boba Fett is because they have super obvious Mandalorian armor so they can be recognized. Most people aren’t gonna be like ‘hey, that lady with the antenna is Aurra Sing,’ although that’s not a great example because she’s the only one that looks like that.

LAURA: Because she literally is her own thing, and they won’t release what her race is, because she is a hybrid that’s just there!

NICK: Yeah. A better example would be if you see a giant Wookie walk into an area, unless you’re very familiar with a certain Wookie you’re not gonna be like oh look, that’s Chewbacca, that famous Wookie.’ You’re just gonna be like, that’s a Wookie. So, yeah, it’s possible if you personally arrested somebody, they would probably recognize you, but if someone had just heard about you, you’d probably be okay. So, not the best of situations, but not an obvious faux pas.


NICK: “So, you all onboard? Tink my man, you willing to deliver my briefcase?”

HUDSON: “Doesn’t look like we have a choice.”

NICK: “Yeah. This is why me and you understand each other. You’ve done this kind of thing before.”

HUDSON: “Wait, is this gonna come into some weird story that brings back my past?”

NICK: “Um, I don’t know why you would think that. It shouldn’t.”

HUDSON: “You sounded foreboding.”

NICK: “Oh, well yeah. I’m an Imperial governor working against the law. Of course I sound foreboding from time to time.”

HUDSON: “It wasn’t a complaint. It was an observation.”

NICK: “And you’re quite an observant fellow. So, anyway, I’ll give you a pass out of here. I would recommend against coming back, seeing as you left and then Imperials ended up dead, but I’ll delay the full investigation until after you’re gone. I’m seeing some confused looks. Even if they were deserters, you killed Imperials. Probably not great.”

STEVEN: “The trees killed Imperials.”

LAURA: “Um, yes. To be fair, the one, the trooper, was killed by a tree.”

STEVEN: “A monkey killed one.”

LAURA: “Me killing the officer was an accident. I saw he had a gun, I accidentally threw a grenade. You know how these things happen. My bad.”

CAMERON: “And the monkeys got Duelson.”

NICK: “Wait a minute. Did you say you quick drew a grenade? You were in a gunfight and you threw a grenade?”

LAURA: “It was what I had in my pocket.”

NICK: “That’s concerning.”

LAURA: “I didn’t have my gun at the moment.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, we actually didn’t have guns in the gunfight.”

CAMERON: That’s not even a deception. That’s actually true. (laughs)

LAURA: That’s actually what happened! (laughs)

CAMERON: She set her gun down. She had grenades. That’s what she had.

LAURA: “I did not have my gun. So…”

NICK: “So, um, I don’t know how familiar you are with the Imperial Justice System, but speaking as someone with a pretty high place in it, my organization is super racist. It probably doesn’t matter what you did.”

LAURA: Xianna is just kind of staring at him, like, you realize you’re talking to someone whose planet has been occupied, for like ever.

CAMERON: Karma’s look says, ‘you realize you’re an alien, right?’

LAURA: Wait! We are all aliens! (laughs)

CAMERON: None of us in this room are human. (laughs)

LAURA: Karma and Xianna are both having this at the same time. ‘You realize you’re talking to aliens?’ Xianna has the, ‘I’m from Ryloth…’ and then, looking around, ‘wait, we’re ALL aliens.’ (giggles)

NICK: So, he just kinda waggles his eyebrows at you all. He gets it, and still. He has realized how to work within that structure and has been pretty successful.


NICK: He says, “So, you’re mostly patched up, you have your particularly important package, so be gone, or whatever.”

LAURA: Xianna has the data pad with the coordinates, and then she goes and takes the briefcase, and is kinda looking between Karma and Tink, back and forth, and then slowly starts handing it to Karma.

CAMERON: Karma takes the briefcase.


NICK: Sabos reaches for the briefcase, and then looks sad that he doesn’t get it.

STEVEN: Yup. I take the data pad.

HUDSON: I take the data pad, because I’m actually driving.


LAURA: How are you guys getting the data pad? I am holding it, and it is probably in a pocket. Do you wanna search my coat?

HUDSON: It wouldn’t be the first time. Oh wait—Never mind.


CAMERON: (laughs) No, wait, it would be, hold on.

HUDSON: Cut! Cut! It would be the first time.

LAURA: I mean, if you wanna try, go for it.

HUDSON: “Could I have the data pad, please””

STEVEN: “Can I have the data pad? I’m a better pilot.”

LAURA: I’m assuming you both say it at the same exact time…


CAMERON: And then Sabos adds, ‘I’m a better pilot.’

LAURA: (reluctantly) Xianna takes it out…

STEVEN: “And I’m from the outer rim.”

LAURA: Like, is it just coordinates that are pulled up?

NICK: Nothing’s pulled up, it’s blank, but if you tap through it, it’s pretty much a ‘Welcome to your new technology’ pop-up screen. You can see one file on it that’s just coordinates. This is a very cheap throwaway data pad.

LAURA: Okay. Since it just has coordinates, she begrudgingly hands it to Sabos.

STEVEN: “That’s right.”

LAURA: Because she thinks he is capable of flying.

STEVEN: I am. (laughs)

CAMERON: Oh yeah. (laughing) She’s not sure if he was flying or not.

LAURA: She’s still not sure. She doesn’t like Sabos that much right now, but she thinks he can fly.

STEVEN: I take it and nod assuringly.

HUDSON: I turn and go, “Really?! Really…?”

LAURA: “You are not the pilot! Unless… Are you the pilot?”

HUDSON: I am the pilot!”

STEVEN: “Do you have any Astrogation abilities at all?”

CAMERON: (laughing) Karma turns to Falx.

LAURA: Xianna turns to Karma. “Wait, which one is the pilot? I thought Sabos was flying with you. Is Tink now flying with you?”

CAMERON: Karma turns to Falx. “So, what are the names of the people, or call signs if they don’t go by names, that we’re trying to find? That kind of hid us this time. I’d like to avoid it.”

NICK: “Yeah. That makes sense. I don’t really operate like Sentinel does. I’ll straight tell you. You’re gonna be wanting to meet up with Quiggle the Quarren.


STEVEN: Oh god.

NICK: “It’s him and his small crew of smugglers.”

STEVEN: That was, that was out of character, just, oh god.


NICK: “I don’t know why you’re laughing. Quiggle the Quarren is a perfectly respectable name.”

CAMERON: “… Yup.” (laughs)

LAURA: “His name is… ‘Quee-gell’?”

NICK: “No. No sweetness, like this. ‘Quiggle’!”

LAURA: “Quigell!”

NICK: “Quiggle!”



NICK: “Closer. Closer.”

CAMERON: “Anyway. The coordinates, are they taking us to a warehouse, a club, do they know that we’re coming?”

NICK: “Well, they’re expecting us shortly, and by us I mean you, because I’m not going. Those coordinates lead to a small asteroid belt in the middle of nowhere towards the outer rim. They probably are waiting now, which is why you need to go there first. If you make them wait too long, they’re gonna come to me, I’ll be forced to kill them, lose a business avenue, and then I’ll be sending our good friend the Assistant Governor out to go find you.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, that seems rough.”

STEVEN: “Is he governor the gorren, gig, giggle, the governor…”

NICK: What?


LAURA: (laughing) What? No!

STEVEN: I’m trying to make up names, damn it.

CAMERON: Nope. Different, different, different.

STEVEN: There’s Quiggle and giggle… (musically)

NICK: “Oh, you’ll remember that the governor’s name was Regional Governor Silpin.”


CAMERON: “We like, just heard from him.”

STEVEN: “Yeah…”

NICK: “He was the guy with the eyepatch, and the sick mutton chops.”

HUDSON: “He doesn’t pay attention.”

STEVEN: “I didn’t have any business with him.”

LAURA: “No. I did, but do not worry. We will go to this asteroid belt right away, and drop off your briefcase first.”

NICK: “Wonderful.”

HUDSON: “Thanks for fueling up our ship before we go.”

LAURA: “Why would you say that? Just why?”


STEVEN: Oh, I love it. That’s wonderful.

NICK: “Yeah. We totally did that. Just don’t check your fuel levels.”

CAMERON: (giggling) I heard feeling up our ship. Thanks for feeling up our ship before we leave! And I was like, what?!

LAURA: Oh, wait! Is that not what he said? Oh!

MULTIPLE: Fueling!

LAURA: Oh! I straight up just heard ‘feeling up our ship,’ and that is why I said ‘why would you say that?’


HUDSON: That would make a lot less sense than fueling.

LAURA: I thought he was referencing the fact that, they like,

LAURA & CAMERON: They searched the ship.


LAURA: That’s what I thought you were saying, because you’re you!

NICK: “Well, to be fair, we did feel up your ship, but we did not fuel up your ship.”

STEVEN: “It’s a nice ship.”

HUDSON: “Aw… Well, how are we gonna get off this planet?”

NICK: “You’ve got enough fuel. Star Wars doesn’t have rules for gas.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

CAMERON: That’s true.

LAURA: Yeah. Until a ship breaks down, because he decides. Then we have to figure it out.

NICK: “The only time you’ll run out of fuel is when it’s helpful for the story!”

HUDSON: (laughs)

NICK: He turns his swivel chair around and gazes out the back window over the sunset that’s going over the jungle of Unroola Dawn, and we get a nice camera angle of you all silhouetted looking at his silhouette looking out the window in this pretty office. Was there anything else that you all wanted to do in Outpost 4 before you leave?


STEVEN: Not particularly.

LAURA: Nn… No.

CAMERON: Did Tink want to try and fix the ship again before we leave?

HUDSON: I thought they fixed it.

NICK: They did. They did fix it.

CAMERON: They did fix it? Okay, cool. Never mind.

NICK: They sent those engineers to investigate the ship slash duct tape that piece back down.

CAMERON: Fabulous.

HUDSON: Yeah, because I told them that it was basically, maybe fixed. Right? Yeah? Maybe? And then like, they fixed it.


LAURA: Okay. Xianna is going to go through her room when we get back on the ship, just to do a thorough search of if they took anything, because I did have a few things in the room still, and like if they left anything.

NICK: Yeah. So, the camera cuts to you all getting back on the ship. It opens with Sabos in the pilot seat looking really proud of himself, flipping all the overhead switches to On, fiddling with do-dads, turning a wheel that doesn’t seem to be attached to anything…


NICK: …and the ship making the whooshing, charging noises as it cycles up.

CAMERON: Karma’s going right behind him and flipping off the ones that don’t actually need to be turned on for the ship to work. (laughs)

NICK: It’s Sabos going (repetitive plinking noises), and Karma coming behind and like on every fourth one going flip, flip, adjusting the ship to normal levels. That’s great. Cut to Xianna in her room, looking around. What are you all specifically worried about?

LAURA: I’m gonna check the weird mask in a box thing that I have. Just, you know, making sure that’s still a mask inside a box. And, I just wanna go through everything to make sure they didn’t leave any trackers or listening devices or anything.

NICK: Sure. What a great idea to check your room for trackers or listening devices. Make me a Skulduggery check, please.

LAURA: Can do! What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Hard, because you’re doing a deep search.

LAURA: Hey. That is a full triumph, that has its success, and then two advantages.

NICK: Okay. How would you like to spend that triumph and the advantages?

LAURA: Okay. I would like to find if they put anything, first of all.

CAMERON: (giggles)

NICK: Well yeah, that goes with the success.

LAURA: If they put anything, I would like to find that. I would like to figure out the vent, that I previously thought was a vent, is actually a garbage disposal.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Aww.

LAURA: I would like to know that. I would like to accidentally press a button and hear it whirl, and be like, “Oh! Ooh, good thing I did not put anything inside of there.” And then like shout out, “Everyone! This vent here is not a vent. It is a garbage disposal. Be careful.”

NICK: So, what that is, you open it just to see if anything’s in there, and as you open it you hit the little button on the side and you actually see the grass below the ship, down below, like behind your ray shield, and you go ‘oh, that’s what that does.’ So yeah, now you know that’s a direct, like, get this out of the ship chute.

LAURA: Good.

NICK: Okay. You could use your triumph on that, since that cancels out the despair that you had earlier. That’s a bummer. I had plans for that, but that’s fine.

LAURA: Ha-ha!

NICK: You do find one tracking device slash surveillance unit. It’s pretty big, and they had it up under the bed, hooked into the material that makes the bed spin. On it in Sharpie basically it says ‘You can’t blame us for trying,’ and has a little signature that looks like Falx’s name.

LAURA: I toss it down my newly discovered garbage disposal, and then shout out to everyone. “Uh, you should check your bedrooms. If you are not good at the searching, I will help, but they probably put tracking devices, or maybe recording devices. Check the refresher. They maybe put video cameras in that one. They do that sometimes. Is funny.”

CAMERON: You hear from the cockpit where Karma is doing damage control on Sabos trying to turn the ship on. “Hey Serene, could you please check out my room while I’m up here with the Togrutan?”

NICK: We’ll fast-forward through any rolls that’ll happen there. You were successful enough. There is a video camera under the toilet seat of the refresher pointed straight up.


LAURA: The moment Xianna finds it, Xianna just holds her arm out and shouts for the rest. “See! I told you! It is always a camera in the refresher!”

NICK: That’s pretty much all you find. It seems like, to you, with how successful you were, the engineers definitely put stuff in there but did not try very hard, and that it was mostly because Falx had to follow those procedures, not that he was actually all that interested in tracking you, especially considering that if they track you to his illegal dealings you may have some problems, so it was pretty obvious.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Like, you could see the camera when you lifted the toilet seat. It was right there. Is anybody else doing anything on the ship before you take off?

STEVEN: I’m gonna pilot.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: I’m in the engine room, and I’m kind of muttering to myself, upset that I’m not piloting the ship. That’s all I’m doing.

STEVEN: Since I can listen to the engine room, I say down to the engine room, “You’re a better engineer than I am, so stay down in the engine room.”

HUDSON: “Someday I will pilot.” That’s all I say back.

NICK: (laughs) You shake your fist at the sound of the Togruta.

HUDSON: I shake my fist up at the piloting area, cockpit.

STEVEN: I say, “You very well might,” and turn off the feed.

CAMERON: Karma flips it back on.

NICK: Okay. (laughs) The ship takes off. I’m not gonna make you do a Piloting check for a basic takeoff.


CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Uh, yeah. Very good.

STEVEN: That’s awesome.

NICK: You fly up, and the camera cuts to you all in orbit as you’re starting to do an Astrogation check on where you’re going to go…


NICK: …and you see a little alert saying that you have an incoming message, but that instead of being routed to the cockpit it’s routed to the holo-theater in the Afternoon Delight.



NICK: It’s showing on the dashboard, there’s a little blinking light. After looking at it for a minute you figure out that it means there’s something in the holo-theater right now.

CAMERON: I hit the acknowledge button and say, “You got this,” and I walk back to the holo-theater.

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna’s gonna be in there, too.

HUDSON: I go in there.

CAMERON: We’re in orbit, so it doesn’t matter.

NICK: You’re in orbit. It’s the equivalent of being parked. You can go if you want.

STEVEN: Yeah. Yeah, why not.

NICK: Okay. You all go to the holo-theater. It’s kind of set up like a planetarium. It’s round and has a domed ceiling, and it has those weird step benches that you see in the auditoriums where you sit on them but they’re just big, too-tall steps, and they’re carpeted in thick, red, shag carpeting, and there’s some gold highlights running through the ceiling.

LAURA: Nice.

NICK: As you all sit down, a holo-projector pops on, and you see a full body image of Sentinel. He’s sitting in a chair and he has a brown, shapeless robe on. He has his gray hair slicked back. He says, “Ah, so you managed to complete the first part of your task. Wonderful. Well, I guess you need to know what happens next, don’t you?” And he eyes the camera. That’s where we’ll end the episode.

(all make dramatic noises)

HUDSON: (musically) The longest time, the longest time…

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 5 Death Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

PDF download: Episode 5 Death Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree.docx

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 5:
Death Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Additional music this week is: In Suspense by Psychedelic Pedestrian

STEVEN: Hey Squadron. Just so you know, we’ll be releasing the drink and food recipes we mention in the episodes on our website, Check it out.

NICK: We hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 5 of Tabletop Squadron. I’m your host, Nick, and I am sitting here with the whole squad yet again. You’re still here. Are you okay?

Go around the table and say who you are and what character you’re playing.

STEVEN: Hi. I’m Steven. I’m playing Sabos the Togruta.

HUDSON: I’m Hudson. It’s great to be here. I’m playing Tink the Gigoran.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna. I’m a Twi’lek.

CAMERON: Hi. I’m Cameron. I am playing Karma, and I’m a Nautolan.

NICK: Great. We’ve gotten some experience points since the last time we played. Everybody has spent some, so we’ll go around the room and just say how you have upgraded your character.

STEVEN: This is Sabos. I bought Streetsmarts and Grit.

NICK: Good work.


NICK: I’m sure that will come in handy.

STEVEN: It probably won’t.

NICK: It might. You don’t know. You’re in a jungle right now, but it could happen.

HUDSON: This is Tink, and I upgraded to Level 2 on Melee.


HUDSON: Super, Smash, Brothers~!

NICK: Now we’ll get sued. Next.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: This is Laura. I just play Xianna. I guess those two are like going full Daniel de Louis up in here and becoming their character.

CAMERON: (laughing) Could you not tell by Hudson’s fur suit?

STEVEN: I do have four head tails.

LAURA: (grinning) They are really going for it. I bought ranks in Cool and Deception.

NICK: Alright. Now you have one of those flat rim baseball caps, and shutter shades?

CAMERON: (laughs) No…

LAURA: Uh, I’ve popped my collar, and yeah, put on some shutter shades.

NICK: Nice.

CAMERON: For Karma, I upgraded Melee to Rank 2 and Vigilance to Rank 2.


NICK: Alright. Before we get started, let’s do the Destiny Roll.

HUDSON: I’ll go first. I’ll go first.


HUDSON: One light side.

LAURA: One light side.

STEVEN: One dark side.

CAMERON: (groans) One dark side.

LAURA: That side of the table is not doing good.

NICK: Good work, everybody. We’re all very proud.

HUDSON: Or not.

LAURA: I’m not.



LAURA: This side of the table rolled light side, so we’re proud of ourselves.

NICK: Makes sense.

CAMERON: I still support you, Steven.

STEVEN: Thanks, Cam.

NICK: You shouldn’t.

CAMERON: (laughs) Not in character, though.

NICK: Things that have happened recently: Falx gave you all a job in exchange for the contraband that you were sent by Sentinel to go and fetch. He sent you after some deserters that may have blown some stuff up and killed some people on their way out of town. They’re hiding out in the jungle somewhere. You fought really weird centipede monkeys with lobster tails, and some people got stabbed.

STEVEN: Just one.

NICK: Someone got stabbed… and your guide Mills ran off, and the last thing that happened was he came back with a bunch of corpses of more millipede monkeys, and said, “We’ll scatter these around to make sure that we have a moment. We need to take a second to plan.” That’s where we will take it back up again.

He immediately starts shredding up some of these monkey guts. The good news is they all have big blaster holes in them, so he just kinda reaches in and routes around, and he starts scattering it around like a flower girl at a wedding in a circle around this clearing.


NICK: “That’ll keep the trees back. Hey, could someone go to the back of the speeder? There is a silver shiny box in there. We’re gonna need that for a minute.”

HUDSON: I run back to the speeder and get it.

STEVEN: “You mean the Stone Breaker?”

NICK: “I don’t know what that is.”

LAURA: “Shh! Do not say things.”

STEVEN: “I got stabbed.”

LAURA: “I thought we talked about this last time. Do not talk, ever.”

STEVEN: “I’m recovering from the monkey wounds.”

LAURA: “Just… be quiet.”

HUDSON: I go get the box.

NICK: Okay. You head over to the speeder. It is a large speeder with room for everyone that is setup for off-road, so it’s got skids under the repulsers in case it bottoms out. On the back there’s a big crate. You head to the back and open it up, and you see a silver cubic case with some latches on it, and on the ground next to you, you see Sparks who you may remember was the junior officer that was riding with you.

CAMERON: Oh yeah…

NICK: And there’s a monkey on his chest chewing through his neck right now. So, I need a Vigilance roll from you on how quickly you respond as it looks up at you and hisses, and gets ready to jump at you.

HUDSON: Oh no.

STEVEN: Not Spark Duelson!

HUDSON: One success.

NICK: One success, okay. You can roll an attack against this thing before it gets to you.

HUDSON: Yay. I’d like to roll an attack against it. That’s going to be two yellows and a green. What’s the difficulty?

CAMERON: Melee is always two.

NICK: She’s right.

HUDSON: So, we have three successes and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. How much damage does your massive vibro-axe do?


CAMERON: So, +3.

NICK: Plus your Brawn, right?

HUDSON: Nope. My Brawn +3 is 6.

NICK: Okay. So 9 damage?

HUDSON: Nine damage.

NICK: Yeah, you just slice this thing in half. It hisses, and squeaks, and just kind of falls apart. Mills walks up behind you. “Oh, you’re adding to the circle. Great.” He looks down and Sparks the junior officer is super dead, like his throat is chewed all the way back to the bone. He’s just on the ground not even twitching. Mills looks down and goes, “Oh… Eh,” and he just keeps walking around. He says, “Grab that case, and let’s go.” He finishes the circle and stands in the middle of the clearing.

CAMERON: I walk back over to the back when I see Mills walk back there, and see Spark on the ground. I feel sad for a minute because he’s had the same length of life as my sons and that’s sad. I pull him to the side a little bit so the speeder is blocking Mills’ view, and I search his pockets.

NICK: Oh. Okay. Uh…

LAURA: Xianna walks over like, “Is there something behind the speeder?”


LAURA: “Oh… That’s sad.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

LAURA: “I was going to mess with him.”

CAMERON: “Yeah… Well, the monkeys did first.”

NICK: Searching his pockets, I would need an average Skulduggery check from you.

CAMERON: Hey, I have a Skulduggery. That is a success and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. You find not a lot, you find less on this guy than you would expect for somebody who was going on an expedition with potential hostiles in a hostile environment. You do find a really low clearance Imperial code cylinder in his pocket, and he had a light blaster pistol in a holster, and he had a couple of ration bars, just cracker bar things.

CAMERON: How many?

NICK: Three…

CAMERON: Three? Three crackers.

NICK: Yes. Really, that’s it. He was pretty light on gear. It’s almost like he got assigned this very quickly and didn’t have time to pack, or didn’t understand where he was going. One or the other.


LAURA: What rank was he, again?

NICK: He was a petty officer.

HUDSON: We do have his clearance card now, right?

NICK: Yeah. You have his code cylinder. It probably opens some things, maybe.

CAMERON: I tuck the code cylinder into my jacket, put the crackers in whatever bag I’m carrying, and then strap the light blaster to my other hip that doesn’t have my heavy pistol on it.

NICK: You’re just collecting guns, huh?

CAMERON: Yep. I have a light blaster, a heavy pistol, and a blaster carbine.

NICK: The good news is, you’re strong. The bad news is, eventually encumbrance may be a thing.

CAMERON: I’ll start handing out guns to other people as they deserve them.


HUDSON: I don’t have a gun.

CAMERON: I feel like you’re good with your axe, though.

HUDSON: I can’t shoot a gun either, but I don’t have one.

CAMERON: Maybe we’ll have a training session.

NICK: You’re handing out guns like a kindergarten teacher hands out star stickers.

CAMERON: Yeah. Good job! You gain a gun on your chart.

NICK: Okay. (laughs) So, Tink, do you bring the silver box to the middle?


NICK: Alright. Mills says “thanks” as he wipes his hands on his pants. You see he’s made a pretty decent circle out of monkey guts. Maybe you’re imagining it, but the trees do seem to be kind of leaning back a little bit from the circle. It’s probably just a trick of perspective. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Mills, with a click, snaps the four latches off and pulls the top off and the four sides of the box fall open like an industrial flower. Inside there’s another one of those heater lantern things like you had in your guest quarters / tool shed.

CAMERON: Garden house?

NICK: Garden shed? Yeah. He turns on the heater and the warm light makes you feel a little better. He says, “These trees put spores out and we don’t want to track those back to the base. Also, you know, they eat flesh, but it’s not a big deal, this will bake them out, so we’ll take a minute here to do that. Shame about Sparks, at least that’s probably what I’m supposed to say. I don’t really like the Empire that much. One of the officers is dating my sister.”


NICK: “He seems pretty milk toast. I don’t understand.” He pulls bits of guts out of his chest hair from his shirt.


NICK: He flicks them into the heater and they sizzle and vaporize. “I’m just working for them because they’re the only people here at this point. They’re probably bunkered down somewhere up ahead, that might be why there’s so many bug monkeys around, so maybe if we can find their camp you can take these guys out, or whatever you’re supposed to do. What’s the plan?”

LAURA: “Do any of you know, like, how to track people, or hunt, or you know, do things in the wilderness? Because I do not.”

STEVEN: “One could say I have limited survival skills.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Mm, define limited?”

STEVEN: “More than you?”


NICK: Mills goes, “Ohh!”

LAURA: “I mean, maybe.”

CAMERON: “She did just say that she had very limited nature things…”

LAURA: “I tend to stay in cities. That is where there are people, you know, to steal things from.”

CAMERON: “Normally my bounty hunting jobs aren’t this remote. Normally criminals hide out where there are other people. I am pretty good at sneaking up on people.”

HUDSON: “I nominate Sabos.”

STEVEN: ‘I’m pretty experienced.”

LAURA: “I am good at the sneaking. The sneaking I can do. The tracking…”

CAMERON: “The finding?”

LAURA: “The finding.”

STEVEN: As an explorer I probably do have some survival, very limited…

LAURA: Do you have a rank in Survival?


LAURA: That is what I am asking about.

CAMERON: (laughing) I was answering you and I almost said ‘you have a rank in ze sneaking.’

LAURA: ‘I do have a rank in ze sneaking. I have ranks in ze Streetwise and ze Skulduggery.’

CAMERON: (laughing) I’m just gonna slowly start picking up Xianna’s accent.

LAURA: If you have ranks in Survival you should try tracking.

STEVEN: Yeah, I have a rank in Survival.

CAMERON: How Cunning are you?

LAURA: I have lots of Cunning, so I could help.

STEVEN: Good Cunning, actually.

CAMERON: Oh yeah, you got 3 Cunning. You’re good.

LAURA: I have 4 Cunning, so I can always assist.

NICK: Yeah. When people help and someone has a better base stat but someone has better training, you get to use the best of both. If Xianna helps Sabos to track, you get three green dice and a yellow.


STEVEN: We should do that. Let’s track things. I guess we are looking for the escaped Lira and Williams.

NICK: Yup. You’re looking for Lira and Williams.

STEVEN: We don’t know what they look like other than they’re a guy and a lady.

CAMERON: One of them is a trooper.

STEVEN: One is a trooper, one is an officer.

CAMERON: Lira is a trooper, so she’s probably in trooper uniform.

STEVEN: Maybe.

CAMERON: Williams is an officer. He’s probably not in trooper uniform, but there are also three missing troopers.

STEVEN: Okay. I’ll just look around the circle (muffled)

NICK: You’ll remember last session you found a small blood trail leading off from there.

STEVEN: Yeah. Oh yeah, that’s right.

CAMERON: Then the monkeys attacked!


STEVEN: Let’s continue to track the blood trail.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty? I don’t think you’re rolling any difficulty dice right now. (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah. You need difficulty dice.

NICK: Hard.

STEVEN: That’s three?


NICK: You already found the general direction last time.


STEVEN: That worked out well. I have one success and one advantage.

NICK: You tracked. You got one success and one advantage. Is there any particular way you would like to spend the advantage?

STEVEN: Uh, not encountering monkeys.

LAURA: I’m assuming we’re gonna try to be sneaky when we approach them. Can the least sneaky of us have a blue die when they make a Stealth roll?

NICK: I think that is a great tactical decision. How would you explain that using cool descriptions and story stuff?

CAMERON: We’re gonna put them in the back, and the people in front will sneakily fold down any foilage or anything that’s in the way.

NICK: Foliage?

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: Foliage. Whoa, there we go. Fold down any foilage—(laughs) Oh gosh.

HUDSON: Any foilage?

STEVEN: You know, foil.

CAMERON: We’re gonna fold down any plant stuff that’s in the way! So that there’s less crinkle noises when the people behind us walk.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna would make sure that Sabos is in the back, maybe not completely in the back, walking next to someone, probably Karma…

CAMERON: Who can throw her arm out and stop him and stuff.

LAURA: …and then Tink and Xianna would be more in the front, because surprisingly Tink is kind of sneaky.

HUDSON: I am pretty sneaky.

CAMERON: You do blend into the jungle, as a giant white fluffy thing?

HUDSON: Well, more than that. I’m just sneaky in general. Give me some credit.

LAURA: I think it’s his feet are very soft and padded with all the fur, so he doesn’t make a lot of sound when he walks.


HUDSON: Speculation will just confuse the mind. Just know I’m sneaky.

CAMERON: (laughs)

STEVEN: My fourth head tail just rubs all the branches the wrong way.

NICK & CAMERON: (groaning and laughing)

LAURA: I think that’s just Sabos in general.

NICK: Ooh.

STEVEN: It’s the fourth head tail.

CAMERON: That does seem to be his defining characteristic.

LAURA: It’s like the only one.

STEVEN: And being a male Togruta. That too.

LAURA: There are many male Togrutas.

STEVEN: No there’s not. There’s like many female Togrutas.

CAMERON: There’s also many male Togrutas.

LAURA: There’s also many males. You’re not like a Selonian.

NICK: No, it’s an actual thing. There are less.

LAURA: It’s an actual thing, but it’s not like Selonian level.

STEVEN: It’s like 15% to 85%. It was pretty darn stark.

NICK: Well, the Selonians, it’s like one per 100 or something.

STEVEN: Oh, yeah.

NICK: Yeah. The otter people.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: So, based on your success and the fact that you’re staying in the back where you’re not gonna break a bunch of branches and be super obvious, you can tell from the blood trail and the age and everything that it’s probably going to be about an hour trek through the jungle, or you can take your speeder and try to drive closer. Which would you all choose to do?

STEVEN: I’m pretty comfortable hoofing it, but—

HUDSON: I’ll grab the speeder!

NICK: You wanna drive?

STEVEN: “I can drive.”

CAMERON: “You’re not driving.”

HUDSON: “I can drive, for I have the necessary skills required.”

STEVEN: “As do I.”

CAMERON: ‘I feel like if we’re trying to sneak up on people not being in a speeder would be beneficial.”

HUDSON: “But my stealth carries over to speeders. Duh.”

LAURA: “I do not think that is how that works.”

CAMERON: “I’m pretty sure it still makes noise.”

LAURA: “I think the speeder still makes noises.”

STEVEN: “We should chance cube it.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “No!” (laughs)

HUDSON: “If we want to, we can just walk…”

LAURA: “We should walk. It is more sneaky.”

HUDSON: “Fine.”

NICK: Okay. There’s a swipe cut to you all doing a nice, pleasant hike through the jungle.

CAMERON: The jungle that can eat us. (grinning)

NICK: It’s very Vietnam war movie-esque with people moving in a line. Mills doesn’t really walk with you so much as like action roll through the bushes. (laughter) He is getting covered in mud, and looks very Predator. He’ll pop up out of a bush next to you, which is surprising and discomforting, and he’ll make a bunch of hand signals and then disappear back into the underbrush. No one knows what the hand signals mean, but he looks pretty confident that you all are headed in the right direction.

You lose the trail a couple times, but you’re able to find it again and continue onward, so you do lose a little bit of time. Surprisingly, Tink does blend in quite well. The shadows model on his white fur, and he is able to slip from tree to tree, like a ghost.

HUDSON: Dam right.


CAMERON: Should we make a Stealth check?

NICK: Yeah. Right around now I’m gonna need a Stealth check.

LAURA: What’s the difficulty?

STEVEN: Did I get the blue die for this?

CAMERON: Yeah. You suck the most.

NICK: Yes. You get a blue die. The difficulty is average, but everyone has a black die, because stealthing through a jungle is difficult.

HUDSON: That’s a wash, right?

CAMERON: Yep. Tink just gets a wash.

NICK: You get nothing. Okay. I take back what I said.

STEVEN: Sweet. I have a success and an advantage. Sabos. Me, Sabos.

NICK: Yeah. That blue die was super helpful.

STEVEN: It was. It would have been a wash otherwise.

LAURA: Three successes.

CAMERON: Great. Karma also has a blue die because of her Stalker talent, so she gets a blue die on Stealth and Coordination checks.

NICK: Ooh. That’s really neat.

CAMERON: It is. That is a success and a threat.

NICK: Okay. You walk for quite a while. Mills is pretty quiet, but every once in a while he pops up in weird places so you jump a little bit, because he’s a scary looking dude. After about 45 minutes you see a stormtrooper helmet driven on a spike on a trail, and that stormtrooper whose helmet is on the spike is lying face down in the underbrush. Do you investigate the stormtrooper?


NICK: You roll him over. He’s got a blaster hole in his chest. It looks like he got taken down in a run. You actually see the other two stormtroopers scattered in the brush. They’re along the trail where you’re heading, but they’re all basically just down. It looks like they were in a running gunfight and got the worst of it. They have been stripped of their supplies and weapons, and they don’t have any.

Another weird thing, Karma you would know this, I don’t know if anyone else would, they look like they’ve been dead for about five or six days so they’re kind of gross and they don’t smell great, but they also have like saplings sprouting out of their exposed skin.

CAMERON: “Weird.”

LAURA: “Ew. That is gross.”

NICK: We get a shot of Karma reaching down and kind of rolling one over, inspecting it, and as you see that doesn’t have anything worth salvaging and you step away, all of the saplings that are growing out of the stormtroopers all kind of lean towards you a little and then go back up. It’s probably just the wind.

LAURA: “That is very gross.”

CAMERON: “I would put the time of death at five or six days ago.”

STEVEN: “I can concur.”

CAMERON: “Based on the… trees sprouting…”

HUDSON: “So, does this mean that our fugitives are murderers?”


STEVEN: “Yeah, they are. Yeah.”

LAURA: “Probably.”

STEVEN: “I think that’s information we were given.”

CAMERON: “There were five troopers that went out after them. Two troopers have already been found dead. These are the remaining.”

HUDSON: “Oh, I see.”


NICK: Mills appears behind you all with no noise. “Well, I guess murder depends on your point of view,” and he’s like passively cleaning his gun.

LAURA: “I mean, that is true. Yes. I mean… Yes.”

CAMERON: “I don’t know if it really depends on point of view.”

LAURA: “I think it does. I mean, from a certain point of view you could say self-defense.”

NICK: “You back a loth-wolf into a corner, you can’t be surprised when it bites. I would imagine. I’ve never been to Lothal.” (laughter) And he walks off down the trail.

LAURA: “Is very dry.”

CAMERON: “On Lothal?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

NICK: “Everyone always says oh, but it’s a dry heat.” And everyone’s been sweating at this point. It’s—

LAURA: Oh- No- Not me?

(rewind effect)

NICK: Oh, you don’t sweat?

LAURA: I don’t. Being a Twi’lek, I get to remove setback dice due to arid or hot conditions, because Ryloth is a desert. It is just a fucking desert planet.

NICK: So, this should be very uncomfortable for you because it’s a jungle.

CAMERON: It’s a wet heat.

LAURA: So, the humidity is getting to me—the wet heat—but the heat itself is fine.

NICK: Yeah. That’s the thing, it’s probably only like 90 degrees. I’m exposing that we’re from Texas, and 90 degrees is not a big deal. It’s probably only like 90 degrees, but the humidity—

HUDSON: For our international viewers—

LAURA: I was about to say—

LAURA, CAMERON & HUDSON: Ninety degrees Fahrenheit. (laughter)

LAURA: It’s like a nice spring day!

STEVEN: It’s only like, what, 38 Celsius?

LAURA: It’s 38-ish.

NICK: I don’t know. I don’t speak Metric. Well, that’s  not super relevant, so anyway!

LAURA & STEVEN: This is super relevant!

LAURA: What are you talking about? Our, like, one international listener is going to need this information!

CAMERON: (giggles) Yeah.

NICK: Hi Ted!

STEVEN: We don’t have the Google.

CAMERON: I’m glistening.

NICK: Yeah, you’re glistening…

STEVEN: My fourth head tail is dripping.

CAMERON: (surprised laughter)

LAURA: Ew. Xianna sees that and is like, “Ew… Gross!” And she like legitimately seems grossed out, whereas when she saw the dead body she was like “Ew, gross.” This is visceral like, “Ew! Gross! Ew! No!”

STEVEN: I grab it and wring it out, shake it off.

CAMERON: (groans)

HUDSON: I’m pretty gross right now. My hair’s matted. (laughter)

NICK: I would imagine it’s gotten frizzy, too.

LAURA: I’d imagine you smell like a wet dog at this point.

HUDSON: Yeah. Yup. Absolutely.

NICK: It does get covered up by the corpses, but everyone’s giving you a little more space. That’s part of the reason you’ve had trouble stealthing, you’re in the middle of the group but they’ve given you space, so you’re misjudging your steps a lot because you think people are closer.


(fast forward effect)

NICK: So, you continue down the trail, you see a couple more warning signs like sticks tied together, no more skulls on sticks or anything, but general trail signs for like ‘go away.’ A tree has been burned out, or tried to, it’s mostly just been blackened because it’s so humid it’s hard to get stuff to burn. You come to a clearing, and there is a sled looking thing. It looks like a repulser sled with some supplies and stuff on it.

You see some guns, and you see a very skinny guy with short, dark hair that’s started to grow out, already out of regulation, and he’s wearing one of those khaki army uniforms that you saw some people wearing in the camp, but it’s really shredded up and it’s dirty. The only reason you would recognize it is because you’ve already seen it. He’s got a bandage over one leg, and he’s sitting by one of those heater lamps like Mills gave you.

Mills says, “I’ll cover the back exit,” and disappears into the undergrowth and starts to loop around. That’s what you can see.

HUDSON: I whisper, “They didn’t say dead or alive, specifically. Someone should shoot him.”

STEVEN: “Yeah. I remembered to clarify. They were cool with either.”

LAURA: “Yes. They said either one works, so they did specify.”

HUDSON: “Well, I should say they didn’t specify they wanted one over the other.”

LAURA: “True, but that is what dead or alive means.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “It means either or both work.” (giggles)

NICK: Wait. How do you do both?

(rewind effect)

LAURA: … No, both work. Okay. No.

STEVEN: You put them in a box. Oh? You don’t mean that?

CAMERON: Not at the same time.

NICK: Oh. Got it, got it, got it.

LAURA: Both work. Not that you bring them back in a Schrödinger’s box.

NICK: We made that joke already. (laughs)


LAURA: It’s that both work: either one, and or. (laughs)

NICK: Got it.

CAMERON: What it is, there’s two of them, so if one of them is dead and one of them is alive, that’s okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: That’s okay. That’s how that works.

NICK: Right. Yeah. I already sent Mills around the clearing, so I couldn’t ask in character. (laughs)

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: I guess you could in a way do both if you brought them in with a mortal wound.

CAMERON: Yeah, like they gon’ be dead.

LAURA: Like, they’re gonna die, but they’re currently alive.

NICK: Dead-ish alive.


LAURA: Dead-ish. Mostly dead.

(fast forward effect)

NICK: You’ve got him in the clearing. He’s got like a snack bar, and it has one little bite out of it, but he looks like he’s just kind of staring into the lantern and thinking thoughts.

LAURA: “Where is the other one? There is a second one…”

STEVEN: Can we see signs of the second one?

NICK: (chuckle) As you wonder that, you hear a blaster click on and directly behind you is a very large woman with short cropped military hair that hasn’t grown out too much, and she is wearing about half of a stormtrooper uniform. She’s got the chest plate and the arm pieces, but the rest of the body suit is exposed, and the helmet is gone but she has one of the lenses from the helmet strapped over one eye, and you can see a bunch of wires from the inside of the helmet going down into the armor. She’s got cargo shorts on over the body suit on the bottom, and it looks like they’re stuffed with supplies.

She says, “The other one is right here.” She points her gun at you all. she got the drop on you, because she could hear.

LAURA: Oh. Hello~”

CAMERON: (laughs) Because she could hear Tink.

LAURA: (cheerily) “How are you doing?”

NICK: “I’m doing great. I’d appreciate if you stepped into the clearing please.”

LAURA: “I mean… Okay.”

STEVEN: “You mean that clearing?”

LAURA: “What clearing do you think she means?”

STEVEN: “Well, there was the nice one that we were at previously.”

LAURA: “Why would she mean that one?”

STEVEN: “Just checking.”

LAURA: (huffs)

NICK: She whacks Sabos on the back of the head with her blaster rifle—

LAURA: “Thank you.”

NICK: –and it hurts real bad. As you bend over and go ‘ow,’ she—

STEVEN: My fourth head tail absorbed it.

CAMERON: (groan)

NICK: She boots you in the butt, and you stumble forward into the clearing. “Please move, and leave your guns in the pile by the lamp.” She steps back out of range to cover you.

As Sabos goes stumbling in, the officer that’s there goes, “Ah!” and puts the bar down and looks around. He still hasn’t noticed anyone outside the clearing. He only sees Sabos.

LAURA: Okay. Xianna puts her gun down, but just kind of like has her hands by her side, because it doesn’t really look like there’s anything in her coat, because it doesn’t really look like there’s pockets.

NICK: Makes sense, and she didn’t try to search you.

LAURA: And her utility belt doesn’t really have anything on it.

NICK: Mm-hmm.

STEVEN: Same. I kind of have to disarm my blaster rifle, because I don’t think it’s not obvious.

NICK: No, it’s huge, yeah.

STEVEN: But I’m gonna keep my vibro-knife.

LAURA: Well, like, do you have your vibro-knife hidden?

STEVEN: Yeah. It’s not on my belt. It’s like in my pants.

LAURA: Why do you keep a knife in your pants?!

CAMERON: (snickers) For situations like this, Xianna!

STEVEN: That’s the only place I had to keep it.

LAURA: You don’t have like boots or something?

CAMERON: No. his knife is strapped to his fourth head tail.


STEVEN: That’s definitely not it. That’s a sensitive head tail.


LAURA: I mean, you could strap it to the underside.

CAMERON: Yeah, so you could just only see it from the outside.

NICK: He touches it too much. He started that, but he kept cutting his fingers.

CAMERON: Well, you put it in a sheath.

STEVEN: Eh… Oh, no.

LAURA: I also like that you act like your fourth head tail is the only one back there, when you would have the third and fourth ones evenly spaced in the back.

STEVEN: It’s the one I give the most attention to.

(rewind effect)

CAMERON: How do you know which one is your fourth one?

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: It’s the one everyone else doesn’t have.

CAMERON: Yeah, but like—

LAURA: But you have two.

CAMERON: Most Togrutans normally will have one coming over each shoulder and then one in the back. You have two in the back. Is it the left or the right one that’s the fourth one?

STEVEN: The right one.

CAMERON: How do you know that, though?

LAURA: Or, is it kind of like when people have a third nipple?


LAURA: So the fourth one is really tiny and weird looking, so you know that’s the fourth one.

CAMERON: (laughs)

STEVEN: My head tail is adequate.

NICK: I’ve been picturing it as if it just kind of branches off of the main back one, just kind of dangly. (laughter)

STEVEN: No. it’s a fully functioning head tail

LAURA: No, I’m picturing a stubby little extra one.

STEVEN: It’s fully functioning. Okay?

LAURA: Maybe with like a tooth or something on it, because it was definitely absorbed from a second- like, from a twin that you ate in the womb.

STEVEN: Just like my hands, everything up there is just fine.

CAMERON: (laughing) What?!

STEVEN: You know, orange, I’m orange…

HUDSON: You know Sabos, you could get into the adult entertainment industry with that fourth head tail.


NICK: Okay. Anyways. And, we’re back!

(fast forward effect)

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna walks into the clearing but kind of keeps her hands nonchalantly by her sides. She doesn’t put them up or anything.

NICK: Okay. You drop a pistol in the pile?

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: There’s already a little pile of the stormtrooper E-11 blasters on the ground. You look back behind you and you see the stormtrooper lady gesture towards the pile and you drop your pistol down. Sabos, you put your rifle there and you go in the clearing. What do Karma and Tink do?

HUDSON: I put my vibro-axe down but do not reveal my grenades.

NICK: Are they in your fanny pack?

HUDSON: They’re on my strap, but yeah, in my fanny pack.


NICK: I know you have a backpack and a utility belt, but for whatever reason I’m picturing your utility belt as just a fanny pack.

HUDSON: Well, it kind of is actually, if you look at my picture.

NICK: Oh, maybe that’s why I’m picturing that.

LAURA: I’m imagining it has like little pockets.


LAURA: So there’s some little pouches on it instead of just being…

CAMERON: It’s like a cool fanny pack.

LAURA: Yeah.

HUDSON: It goes across and around.

CAMERON: It’s a utility fanny pack.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: Because it also doubles as a little holder for his vibro-axe in the back.

HUDSON: So I don’t take that off, I just drop my vibro-axe.

NICK: Okay, so you drop the obvious weapons, and Karma? Cameron’s got a look on her face. She’s about to do something.

CAMERON: Heh. So, I walk out. I detach the light blasters that I have on both hips first. (laughs)

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: And then to remove my blaster carbine I have to take it off my back and swivel it around to the front, and as I do that I’m gonna shoot the dude.

NICK: Okay. I need a Cool check to see if you can do that before anybody gets the drop on you.

CAMERON: Cool. I’m fine with that.

NICK: The bounty hunter knows never disarm and change location.

CAMERON: yeah. I’ll change location, but I’m not taking all my guns and shit off, and I still have my vibro-sword in its sheath.

LAURA: Yeah. That’s why you don’t take off ALL your weapons.

CAMERON: I took off the two that I’m not good with, which were the light blasters. (laughs) To make it look like I was complying, up until the point where I am shooting the dude. So, a Cool check… Two successes.

NICK: Okay. So, guy is freaking useless. He’s just one green die. I just want to see if he sees anything.

CAMERON: One success.

NICK: Hey, good for him. Then, lady is two greens and a yellow. I should call them by their names, but you don’t know what their names are necessarily.

CAMERON: Three successes and an advantage.

NICK: Three successes and an advantage, which does make sense thematically since she’s had a gun aimed at you.

CAMERON: Mm-hmm.

NICK: You are going to get that shot off, but as she sees you do it you hear her very emotionally go “No!” and she goes to shoot you. That is going to be two greens and a yellow with an average difficulty, please, but I’m going to give her a blue die because she was aiming at you.

LAURA: Xianna’s just over here shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “(sigh) You wait until they are not looking at you. That is when you shoot them.”

CAMERON: My gun is on stun.

NICK: Okay. Good to know.

CAMERON: Because that is it’s default setting.

NICK: Hers isn’t.

CAMERON: That’s fine. I just—Since I’m also going to shoot the dude.

LAURA: At this point, Xianna does have her hands in her pockets.

NICK: This is all happening very quickly. This is going to be the beginning of an exchange.

CAMERON: That’s two successes and an advantage.

NICK: Okay, so hers does 8, because you wouldn’t have noticed but there are some spores growing in it… When you’re out in the jungle.

CAMERON: Ew. That’s why you always clean your gun.

NICK: So 8 and two successes, so that’s 10 damage.

CAMERON: And I soak 5 of it.

NICK: Oh, wow, okay. I forgot you have like armor and stuff.

CAMERON: yeah.

NICK: And are stronk.

CAMERON: Muy stronk.

NICK: You rotate your rifle around and snap up for a shot. Right before you pull the trigger you take a pretty good hit in the back. Your armor absorbs most of it, but having been shot multiple times in the past are very aware that you have been hurt. Before anything else happens you are able to pull the trigger and shoot at our good army officer friend. That’s going to be an average difficulty because you are very close, but it’s also going to be a black die because you were getting shot while you pulled the trigger.

CAMERON: A success, so that’s 10 stun damage.

NICK: Ten stun. You blow him backwards off of the stool he was sitting on. He doesn’t go completely unconscious, but he looks extremely phased by that. Ah, what a great pun.


NICK: But he starts to sit up a little. Now I guess I need initiative rolls out of everybody, so that’ll be Vigilance. Now shit’s gone down. You had two successes?


NICK: Do you want to just use that as your initiative roll, or do you want to roll again?

CAMERON: I’m good with two successes.

HUDSON: I rolled one success.

LAURA: Two successes.

STEVEN: One success.

NICK: Okay. He had one success, and she had three. I’m gonna make her roll again, because she used her thing up.

CAMERON: It was two yellows and a green?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Two successes, a triumph, and two advantages. I liked her other roll better. Can we use that one? (laughs)

NICK: She’s gonna go first, Lira, and then two PC slots, and then an NPC slot next, and then it’ll be two more PC slots.

Lira shoots you in the back. You stumble. She sees you shoot her good, good buddy, and she says “This is why we should’ve kept moving!” She shoots at you again, Karma. Same roll as last time, but she’s gonna use her maneuver to aim.

CAMERON: I remembered what the dice were. (laughs) Holy shit.

NICK: Ooh.

CAMERON: That’s three successes and four advantages.

NICK: Four advantages… So, she’s going to pull the trigger, shoot you in the back again, so that’s 11 damage coming at you. She hits you, the blast reflects off a piece of the paneling in your armor and starts bouncing around the clearing in a comical ricochet moment, and everybody kind of ducks so it’s distracting, so you all will have a black die on your next checks that you do. Everybody make sure you have a black die. That was her. Karma, how are you doing?

CAMERON: I have 3 health.

NICK: So not great.

CAMERON: Not great. I’m fine.

NICK: Is Karma the kind of person who is calm under this sort of pressure?

CAMERON: (severe) Yeah, I’m fine.

NICK: (nervously) Okay.

CAMERON: I’ve had worse. (laughs)

NICK: Okay. That was Lira. Two PC slots. Who wants to go?

LAURA: Hey, how close are you to her?

CAMERON: If she was following me to the weapons thing, then I’m probably short range.

NICK: I’ve been treating it medium range. She was trying to stay out of range.

CAMERON: Oh, okay. Medium range!

LAURA: Oh. Is anyone within short range of her?

NICK: No. They’re all ahead.

LAURA: Okay.

HUDSON: I know what you’re thinking.

LAURA: … I pull out a grenade.

NICK: Okay.


LAURA: And I throw it at her.  Which is ranged, light… I’m going to throw the grenade, yell “Fire in the hole!” and jump away.

NICK: Great. Thank you black die for keeping my NPCs alive, he said angrily at the blank die.

LAURA: So, three successes and an advantage. That’s not enough to do a blast I don’t think. It’ll be 11 damage.

NICK: Ooh-hoo-hoo. Okay. You basically bounce the grenade off her chest and it goes off immediately and blows a hole in that chest plate that she had. You can spend those advantages that her armor is gonna be a lot less for the rest of the fight.

LAURA: Yes, please.

NICK: I figured you would want to do that. She is in bad shape.

CAMERON: You never take off the armor.

NICK: The grenade goes off and blows a big chunk of her armor off. She basically just has the arm plates on now, and it does that broken plastic splintered look on the armor but most of it is gone. She has her rifle still up but is leaning against a tree and holding her side, so she’s shooting one-handed now. That was real bad. Also, part of the jungle is smoldering and you see some columns of smoke rising. Another PC slot.

HUDSON: I turn, and I throw a grenade.

NICK: At Lira again?


NICK: Okay. … That’s fine.

HUDSON: What would that be, ranged light?

LAURA: (hands covering mouth) Ranged light.

HUDSON: Oh great. With the difficulty of hard?


NICK: Yeah, just two.

CAMERON: With a black die.



LAURA: Nope.

HUDSON: Two threats.

NICK: How do I wanna play with thrown grenades being bad?

HUDSON: No failures, though.

NICK: But two threats.

LAURA: By it being a wash you technically fail.

CAMERON: By not having any successes that still counted as a failure.

NICK: So, your threats are going to be that it kicks up a lot of dust, and when the dust clears… It’s hard to see her. She dove into the bushes somewhere to get away from the explosions. She’s gonna be harder to track down. But, no one got exploded, so that’s good. (musically) Grenade explodes in the bushes~

Now it’s Williams’s turn. He sits up. He looks very dazed, but he grabs for his pistol and he goes to shoot whoever is closest, who would probably be Sabos because he was the first one in the clearing. He yells “Lira!” and takes a shot. It’s just two green die versus one purple die, because they’re very close together.

CAMERON: Does he also have a black die for the bullets flying everywhere?

NICK: Nope.

CAMERON: Okay. He’s not ducking?

NICK: Nope.


NICK: He was already on the ground prone (dramatic bass noise), because you blasted him off his chair. Also, if threats also affect your teammates they’re not as useful.

CAMERON: Right? This) (showing dice pool)

NICK: Yup. He’s not very good at shooting.

CAMERON: Okay. I kept forgetting. Yeah, he’s not very good at shooting. It’s a failure and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. The advantage is, he shoots, misses wide, Sabos just kind of looks around, and then he rolls under the repulser sled and takes cover under there. He uses his advantage to take some cover. That was him. He’s not very good. Two more player slots.

STEVEN: Sure. Is it—I forget how movement works.

NICK: You get a movement action.

STEVEN: Can I get close enough to under the sled to use the vibro-knife?

NICK: Yeah, absolutely you can.

STEVEN: Alright. I’m gonna run up under the sled and just try to stab him with the vibro-knife.

NICK: Okay. Go ahead.

STEVEN: Which is—Oh, I actually have Melee. Hey.


STEVEN: How hard is it?

CAMERON: Melee is always two.

NICK: Yeah, but you’re gonna have a black die, because to get under there, he’s prone (dramatic bass noise), so you run up and slide under with him, but now you’re like lying next to someone with your head on your elbow…

STEVEN: Oh, I don’t really want to get under it, I just kind of want to… I’ll still take a black die.

NICK: Okay. Laying prone and trying to side stab at someone is a little bit harder.

STEVEN: Yeah. That’s fair. Oh? Success.

NICK: A success. That does the weapon damage plus your Brawn, which is what?


NICK: Four damage. Okay, so you cut his arm pretty bad and he retreats back underneath while seething in pain. He’s just looking around panicking really hard. Karma, you’re up.

CAMERON: Great. Alright. Since chicky-bird shot me twice, I flip my blaster to kill. The dude is okay still, stun him. She’s going down. She shot me. So, I have a black die from existing…

NICK: Yeah. You gotta spend a maneuver to aim?

CAMERON: For my maneuver, I’m gonna go take cover behind a tree, specifically blocking her shot at me. Then I’m going to shoot at her. Average with two black dice?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

CAMERON: And I’m going to flip a light side point to upgrade, to shoot her gooder. I’m glad that was useful.

LAURA: (sympathetic groan)

CAMERON: Two failures, two advantages.

NICK: Okay. You slam your back into a tree. You can feel your back bleeding…

CAMERON: (laughs) Okay.

NICK: …and hitting up against the tree is uncomfortable, but the cover is worth it. You lean around the corner and the stormtrooper peppers some blaster spray at you. You go back around the tree, you lean back around and take some shots, but you guys are basically just shooting back and forth with each other. You don’t hit anything. You said you had some advantages?

CAMERON: I have two advantages. I wanna piss off the tree that she’s hiding behind, and I want the tree to go after her.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: Hey, the trees are just supposedly, maybe, possibly sentient.

CAMERON: Possibly eating people.

NICK: Will you roll me one green die please, for the tree’s initiative, maybe possibly.

LAURA: One success.

NICK: Great. Hey, what a coincidence.

CAMERON: That’s next. (laughs)

NICK: Gonna go ahead and add the tree to the initiative order.

LAURA: Maybe.

CAMERON: Possibly. Who knows.

NICK: Maybe possibly.

LAURA: It’s not confirmed.

NICK: It’s a rumor that the trees exist.

LAURA: It is an urban legend.

CAMERON: I don’t think it’s a rumor that the trees exist. (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, the trees exist.

CAMERON: The tree is definitely there.

LAURA: It’s a rumor that they eat people.

NICK: So, describe to me how you shooting at the tree might make it aggressive.

LAURA: She shoots it.

CAMERON: So, we’ve been exchanging fire back and forth… I keep shooting the tree right next to where she is, and it has decided, supposedly decided—

NICK: Allegedly.

CAMERON: –allegedly, that there is something on that spot that is hurting it, that it needs to go after.

NICK: Okay. So, it’s the tree’s turn. (laughs) We don’t even have to roll for this tree. It’s like a piece of environment. The bark peels back up and it’s like these long, ropey spikes. You see them basically just rearrange, and there’s a crunch, and then Lira stops shooting. There’s no more noise coming from behind the tree. That’s the tree’s turn. (giggling)

Then the tree’s roots start pulling out of the ground, and it starts spaghetti-legging away into the brush, and you see Lira with a bunch of stab wounds on her just lying on the ground bleeding. That tree just starts knocking other trees out of the way and walking off. It does the noise of a groaning ship and cracking wood as it disappears. (several make long groans) Well, that’s the noise that ships make now. (laughter) Great.

Okay, yeah, so Lira is down. She is not moving anymore. It was hurt turn, but she’s down, so we got a PC slot. All that’s left is Williams hiding under the sled, bleeding, looking very close to being unconscious.

STEVEN: Yeah. I’m gonna stab Mr. Williams again.

NICK: Alright, you go right ahead.

STEVEN: Or, or… Can I drag him out?

NICK: Yeah, you can try. You can make me a Brawl check.

STEVEN: Sure. How hard is it?

CAMERON: Brawl is always two, like Melee.

NICK: Well, for this one it’ll be contested, because you’re trying to like wrestle him out.

CAMERON: Oh. Fair.

NICK: He only has one green in Brawn.

CAMERON: So one purple.

NICK: Yeah. He’s not very good at things.

LAURA: Poor guy.


STEVEN: A success and an advantage.

NICK: Yeah. You’re able to kind of grab him round the scruff, and he tries to slap you away, and you just drag him out from cover. He’s kicking and screaming. “Where’s Lira?! What are you doing?! Aaagh!” Next PC slot.

LAURA: So… Lira’s ‘dead’ dead, or just out?

CAMERON: She’s down?

NICK: She is down, she has multiple stab wounds, and she has been exploded.

LAURA: Yeah. She’s most likely dead.

CAMERON: Or mostly dead.

LAURA: Or mostly dead.

NICK: Your experience would prove to you that it would be very rare for someone to survive something like that.


LAURA: I’m gonna go over to Sabos and Williams, and take out binders and slap them on Williams.

NICK: Okay. You don’t have to roll for that. He’s pretty freaking out of it. You got him locked up.

HUDSON: We should figure out why they ran in the first place.

CAMERON: Yeah. I swing my blaster back around my back, take out my vibro-sword, and walk over to Lira and check her pulse.

LAURA: “Well, they were lovers. I feel like that was obvious?” I look at Williams. “You two, you were, uh, how you say, banging? Yes?”

NICK: He’s just crying, like silent tears going down his face.

LAURA: “yes. I’m going to take that as a yes. I believe they were lovers.”

NICK: You check Lira. She is dead. She is no more. Most of her insides are on her outsides. That tree messed her up real good.

At this point, Mills jumps out of the opposite side of the clearing. “Alright! I’m ready to g—Oh.”

LAURA: “Thank you. You are a very big help.”

NICK: “Well, I held some of the trees back, so at least we had that. My job was just to keep you alive, not to capture anyone, so… Oh hey, that was Lira? Wow, that’s crazy.” He just walks across the clearing to her and looks down. “Man, she owed me 10 credits.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: He sets about basically packing up the camp to take it with him.

LAURA: “You could check her pockets.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I’m going to.”

NICK: “I mean, it’s sorta, my culture frowns on that kind of thing.”

CAMERON: I check her pockets. I make eye contact with him as he says my culture frowns on this, and then look down and start checking her pockets.

NICK: Okay. You find 10 credits.

CAMERON: I hand them to him.

NICK: “Hey thanks, now I owe you 10 credits.” And he pockets it.

CAMERON: “That… That’s definitely how that works. Yes.”

LAURA: “Yes. That is how it works. You owe us 10 credits now.”

NICK: Williams says “Are you done robbing my friend? What are you even doing?”

LAURA: “Friend? Or—Was she not girlfriend? Partner? However you wanted to label it?”

NICK: “Look, we didn’t like labels. Okay? We were just trying to go. We were just trying to leave, and then getting hunted by your coworkers is really crazy, and Lira just started becoming one with the jungle or whatever… but she was really, she—Oh gosh, it’s was…” He breaks down and cries for a little bit.

CAMERON: “That kind of continued to the tree did get her.”

STEVEN: “That’s true.”

LAURA: “The tree…”

CAMERON: “Yeah…”

LAURA: “I mean, I did throw a grenade at her, but… The tree.”

NICK: “Look, I guess nothing really matters. We were just trying to get to a different outpost and get off the planet. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. I’m imagining Falx sent you after me? He always has his weird smuggler friends do stuff like this. Well, get it over with.” He just kind of closes his eyes and puts his head to the side.

CAMERON: “Why are you trying to get away? Well, why ‘were’ you trying to get away?”

LAURA: “Have you seen the Empire?”

NICK: “I mean, she’s got a point. It basically is one of those ‘have you seen ze Empire’ kind of things.”

CAMERON: “I have, but have not seen how brainwashed everyone is in the Empire. They’re very good at that.”

LAURA: “Eh, they are. They are okay.”

CAMERON: “The defecting is rare. The people being controlled by the Empire? Yeah, those running make sense. People within the organization? Normally very much drink the space Kool-Aid.” (giggles)

LAURA: ‘In my experience there is not a lot of deserting, because the Empire gets everyone in one way or another, eventually. It’s hard to run from a regime that has the entire galaxy.”

NICK: “That’s, uh, pretty morbid, but—“

LAURA: “Yes!” (giggles)

NICK: Williams has the binders on and he’s trying to apply pressure to the knife wound in his arm.

CAMERON: Oh. I lean down and help.

NICK: “Th-Thank you.”

LAURA: I lean down to Williams. “If we bring you back alive, how badly will they torture you?”

NICK: “You know, Falx doesn’t really go for torture all that much. He’s sort of efficient like that. Either I’ll get sent to a labor camp, or if they don’t want to waste the food waiting for a shipment they’ll probably just shoot me. Honestly, it’s weird that he didn’t just tell you to kill me. This is a bummer. This was my first posting. I had such high hopes, and now look at me.” He just looks bummed out.

LAURA: “That is why you do not desert. But so, are you okay being sent back alive?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah, I guess it’s a 50/50 shot.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: “I’ve always been pretty good at brown-nosing. That’s how I got here in the first place, so.”

LAURA: “If they were going to horribly torture you, I mean, we could shoot you now.”

NICK: “Ugh. It’s tempting. I mean, you just murdered the woman I love, but…”

LAURA: “I mean—“

CAMERON: “I think you’ll find that was the tree, and she did shoot me first, to be fair.”

LAURA: “They would kind of probably kill us if we did not.”

NICK: “Yeah. I mean, you’re dooming me to a life of slave labor at the best case scenario, so you should feel bad about that and I don’t appreciate it. There’s still a chance—“

LAURA: “So, do you want me to shoot you now? Because like, I will.”

NICK: “Wha- No. you could just like let me go, and…”

LAURA: “You have a choice. … Okay, so here’s a thing. If we let you go,” and I look over at, what’s his name, Rambo dude.


LAURA: Mills! How close is Mills to us?

NICK: He’s still just kind of patrolling the perimeter. He can hear, but you can’t tell if he’s paying attention or not.

LAURA: I want to kind of whisper, probably mostly to Karma. “So, is there any way we could, you know, act like a tree got him and just bring back Lira’s body, and maybe a bloodied helmet or shirt, and just say we saw him die?”

CAMERON: “Probably. The thing with that, though… Sweetie, you look pretty banged up.”

NICK: He looks suddenly hopeful, like surprised hopeful, like a teenager who meets Santa Claus hopeful. “I can make it!”

CAMERON: “Realistically hun, I’m concerned with you lasting out here.”

LAURA: Xianna looks at Karma. How many wounds does he have?

NICK: Four.

LAURA: Okay. “I have a stim pack, so I could fix him up…”

NICK: “I like this plan. I mean, you could tell—I don’t mean to brag-“ He tries to like brush his hair.

LAURA: Xianna already has the stim pack out and is like watching Mills, and shoots Williams up with it, and puts the empty one back in her pocket.

NICK: He gasps as the pain killers take effect.

LAURA: “Shh!”

NICK: “Well, you know, I am ruggedly handsome and independent.” He is not ruggedly handsome or independent looking.

CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”

NICK: This is a very scrawny junior officer just out of school.

LAURA: “Sure. Yes. Sure you are.”

NICK: “But, yeah, I just… You could take one of the stormtrooper bodies or something. We’re about the same level of ripped. It should work.”

CAMERON: (snickers)

LAURA: ‘Okie. Someone is going to have to go distract Mills, and then we will make a bunch of noise over here.”

CAMERON: “Sabos and Tink, go, y’all are distracting.”

LAURA: “You go make distractions. Go, go.”

CAMERON: “Go talk inappropriately about your head tail or something.”

STEVEN: “That was the plan.”


LAURA: “One of you go and get in a tuffle with a tree. Try not to get actually killed.”

HUDSON: ‘Hey Mills, uh, I was wondering, um…”

NICK: “Yeah. What?”

HUDSON: “You seem to have a lot of experience out here. What was, um, one of your hardest fought battles you ever had?”


NICK: “Oh, well let me tell you about it. There was this one time I had a whole grove of trees between me and my sister…”

HUDSON: “Oh, do tell.”

NICK: “…and I was trying to set her up with my friend, Smithson, and—“

LAURA: “Is this the distraction? That is just a story.”

HUDSON: (low, grunted) Yes.

CAMERON: “As long as he’s facing away from us, we’re good.”

NICK: At this point Mills throws his arm around Tink, which is mostly up, and points away from y’all to gesture broadly at the trees. “There was a couple of spruces and two jungle deciduous, and I was able to take ‘em down with an incendiary grenade,” and he just goes on and on about killing trees.

LAURA: While they’re doing this, Xianna gets Williams up to his feet, takes off the binders, and puts them back in her pocket. Is he wearing anything that Mills would have seen on him to identify?

CAMERON: He’s wearing an army uniform, right?

NICK: Yeah. He has one of the little blue squares, because he’s a super junior officer.

LAURA: Xianna goes over and plucks the little blue square off of him…

CAMERON: Make sure there’s blood on it.

LAURA: …and kind of rubs it on his leg a little.

CAMERON: There you go. Way more convincing.

NICK: He groans in pain.

LAURA: Does he still have his cap or anything?

NICK: No. he doesn’t have his cap. His uniform is all shredded. You could pull pieces off if you want.

LAURA: Yeah. She takes a few pieces and any large things. If he had a holster, she takes that.

NICK: As you take his insignia, he’s like, “Wait, wait, wait,” and he goes over and takes it from you. He does something you can’t tell, and the bottom pops open. He shakes something out of it and puts it in his pocket. “Okay, great. Thanks.”

CAMERON: “We obviously can’t send him… We can’t let you keep the sled.”

NICK: “Aw.”

CAMERON: “It would be useful, but he has seen it. So, let’s pack you a bag.” (laughs)

NICK: “Okay.”

CAMERON: “Some useful stuff.”

LAURA: “So, pack a bag very quickly, and then we will have you hide off to the side, and I will throw a grenade, sprinkle this stuff, and say a tree was getting you and you were getting away, and so I panicked and threw a grenade.”

NICK: “Okay! Sounds awesome.” He basically just takes a pile of those ration bars, he takes one arm and brushes them into a piece of cloth he makes into a satchel, ties it around a stick, and just takes off into the trees.

At this point Mills has Tink by both shoulders and is shaking him and staring really close in his face. “And there were bug monkeys! Bug monkeys everywhere!”

HUDSON: “Waaaaagh!”

CAMERON: Karma starts counting with her hands, one, two, three…

LAURA: Xianna is doing that little face, like, ‘okay… and, scene!’ (laughter) And like throws the grenade at a random tree, and then is like “Oh shit!” and then right after the grenade throws all the scraps she took off of Williams, and then falls back. (laughs)

CAMERON: We both fall back like ‘ah, grenade explosion, it threw us!’

NICK: So, the camera cuts to Mills holding Tink, and he’s staring at Tink but facing towards the explosion, so you just see the cool grenade explosion silhouetting Mills and Tink. “Oh—What?” He looks over and goes, “What… What happened?”

LAURA: “Oh! So, the officer, Williams, he started getting away, and then a tree started attacking, and I panicked, and I threw a grenade. I think I killed him.”

NICK: I’m gonna need a Deception roll from you.

LAURA: Can do!

NICK: Against I guess it would be his Perception.

LAURA: Which would be?

NICK: Two purples. Mills is good at seeing. Not as good as you are at lying.

CAMERON: Can I assist, since I’m acting with it?

NICK: Yes.

CAMERON: I think it’s the same. You have more Cunning, but we both have 1 Deception.

LAURA: I have 2 Deception.

NICK: So you just add a blue die, then.

CAMERON: I’m like walking over, and carefully picking up scrap pieces of things.

LAURA: One success and two advantages.

NICK: Okay. With the success, Mills goes, “Oh. Uh… Well, I mean, he’s dead. I guess that’s what’s important. It saves us the blaster charges. I’m just gonna put him down…”

LAURA: “I am sorry.”

NICK: “Well, ugh, you know, you Twi’leks are… I have zero experience with them, but I have now decided that they’re bloodthirsty, so great work.”

LAURA: “I panicked! It was scary! It was a big tree.”

NICK: “I think I saw a holo of Twi’leks with sharp teeth one time. It’s always kind of…”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “That is just the men.”

NICK: “Oh, well… Yeah.”

LAURA: ‘It is considered attractive.”

CAMERON: “Is it?”

NICK: “Oh? Do you think I should file my teeth?”

LAURA: “No. it is just for the Twi’lek men that it is attractive.”

NICK: “Oh. Well…”

CAMERON: “So it’s attractive to other Twi’lek men or Twi’lek women?”

LAURA: “Well, I mean if they are of that orientation, yes. It is attractive for the men to have pointy teeth.”

NICK: “I don’t know why we’re talking about this. You just blew someone up. Uh, that’s good to know. Thank you for expanding my cultural horizons. I appreciate that. Just scrape that stuff into a bag or whatever. We’ll put it on the sled and bring it back to Falx.”

LAURA: “yes. Okie.”

NICK: He turns around, leaving. He’s been digging through the cart for a couple of minutes and he pulls out this big spray bottle. It looks like a cockroach bomb, like an aerosol can with a dispersal thing. ‘Oh man, they did manage to get one of these.” He takes the metal spike out of his pocket and jams it into the top, and it starts misting everywhere. “That’ll take care of the trees.” You see them actually start to spread back and clear away. “It’ll be a lot easier getting back.”


LAURA: “The fuck is with this planet…”

NICK: “Let’s try and get back to the outpost.”

CAMERON: I have collected the bits of Williams’s uniform that Xianna had thrown in one hand, and then I walk over and I hoist Lira up over my shoulder and toss her onto the sled.

NICK: She does a ragdoll flump that’s pretty gross and starts dripping into the supplies a little bit.

CAMERON: I put her on, like, not on food stuff. I shift uncomfortably and wipe the blood off of my shoulder. Then I remember, and the adrenaline starts to wear off, and I lean against the sled and put my hands on my knees, like “whoa…”

NICK: Mills sees you doing that. “Great. That way we don’t have to carry her. You got shot, a lot.”

CAMERON: “I noticed.”

LAURA: “Oh yes. Uh, so do they have an infirmary at the outpost?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah, they have that. I also have some medical supplies in the speeder that we can use.”

LAURA: ‘Okay, because I do not want to waste my stim pack.”

CAMERON: Okay. Before we head out, I’m gonna make a Cool check to try and recover some Strain. I’m going to use my Hardboiled talent. When I’m recovering strain after an encounter, I can spend advantages up to ranks in Hardboiled to recover one wound per advantage spent. I could heal one wound back this way.

NICK: Okay. Hopefully you get an advantage.

CAMERON: Hopefully, because I didn’t lose any strain. What’s the difficulty?

LAURA: Simple.

CAMERON: Simple? Fabulous. Hey! An advantage.

NICK: You got a wound back, and two strain.

CAMERON: I didn’t lose any strain, but I’m up to 4 health now!

NICK: Good work! You make it back to the speeder without any crazy things happening and you pile in. you toss Lira’s body into the trunk, there’s still some space back there, and you drive off into the jungle headed back towards the outpost. That’s where we’ll end the episode.

(all make dramatic noises, noises turns discordant)

CAMERON: Oh dear…

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front

PDF download: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 4:
A Monkey On Your Front

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Additional music this week is Stjepan Major by Peglica i Komandos.

Before we start, I wanna take a second to thank everyone for their five-star iTunes reviews. I’m talking to you LittleRaley, and you Scarbane. Special shout out to MiteyMights, DirectorSpy, you’re a wonderful person. leggd, go to Starbucks and tell them Tabletop Squadron says you deserve a macchiato. WesternShadow, thank you for your enthusiasm, and TheBrokenLegacy, may your dice ever roll triumphs.

If you’re keeping count that’s seven reviews. We only need three more to unlock super-secret art. It’s a lot of fun, and we’ll post it all over social media, so if you like us head on over there and tell the iTunes community. Maybe tell a friend. Once we hit this milestone we’ll come up with something else to bribe you into telling people about the show, so if you like content, review our show.

Anyway! On to the episode.


NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 4 of Tabletop Squadron. I’m your hosting game master, Nick. I’m gonna go around the table. Introduce yourselves and say who you are playing.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan.

HUDSON: I’m Hudson, and I play Tink.

STEVEN: I’m not Hudson, I’m actually Steven, (distant laughter) and I play Sabos Niks.

LAURA: I’m also not Steven… Wow!

STEVEN: I Am Steven.

CAMERON: You’re not Hudson, either! (laughs)


LAURA: And I’m also not Hudson.

STEVEN: Yeah, me neither.

HUDSON: Wooow.

LAURA: I’m definitely not Hudson.

STEVEN: Anyway!

CAMERON: Anyway. (giggling) I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma.

LAURA: I am also Cameron, though. (laughter) I’m not Steven or Hudson, but I am also Cameron.

STEVEN: I am in fact Cameron.

NICK: And now, let’s roll our Destiny points. I got it right. Oh yeah.

CAMERON: Good job. One dark side. Bad job.

STEVEN: Two light side.


STEVEN: ‘Light’ side.

LAURA: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side.


LAURA: We did so well.

CAMERON: Four light side, two dark side.

NICK: Alright. When we last left off you all had been given a rare moment of privacy and relaxation in your garden shed, and—

STEVEN: Guest quarters.

NICK: –guest quarters, and had been bedding down for the evening. We’ll open it up there.

LAURA: Xianna immediately sees that it’s two bunk beds and yells out, (gasps) “Top bunk! I call the top bunk!”

STEVEN: “Which one?”

LAURA: “The… right side. Yes.”

CAMERON: I just go and climb on the top bunk on the left.


HUDSON: I take the bottom bunk. That’s what I wanted anyway.

STEVEN: I take the bottom bunk, because that’s what’s left.

HUDSON: I’m a bit heavy.

CAMERON: I look around and I notice that there are no cameras or recording equipment or anything in here.

NICK: Mm-hmm. You passed that check.

LAURA: Xianna would like poke her head upside down and look at Tink. “Tink! Do you like being the bottom?” (laughter) And is like smiling, and just staring at him.

HUDSON: I kinda crumple up my face and I don’t respond.

LAURA: I like twist over and look at Sabos. “Sabos! Do you like being the bottom?”

STEVEN: “I am on the bottom.”

LAURA: “Do you like being on the bottom?”

STEVEN: “I mean, I’d prefer the top, but I’ll take bottom.”


LAURA: Xianna just keeps laughing, and sits back up, and is very proud of herself.

HUDSON: Sounds like he’ll take whatever he can get.

LAURA: She is very amused with this.

CAMERON: I’m sitting on the edge of the top bunk. I have my feet swinging very much in Sabos’s area, not purposely trying to hit him, but also since he’s on the bottom bunk there’s just not a lot of space there.

STEVEN: Not trying not to hit me either, though.

CAMERON: Not trying to hit you, but also not really caring if you choose to put your face in the way of my foot.

STEVEN: (laughs) Oh. Cool.

CAMERON: “So, Togrutan.”

STEVEN: “Nautolan.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Again. What is with you two?”

CAMERON: “He introduced himself as Togrutan, so I’m going with it.”

STEVEN: “I’m… Sabos.”

CAMERON: “Nope. You’re Togrutan. Why are you here?”

STEVEN: “Uh, well, I’m from a small outpost on Osaron, not the Togrutan home world.”

CAMERON: “Okay…”

LAURA: “But—“

STEVEN: “And uh, we want to, you know, we’re seeking to establish trade routes throughout the galaxy. We’re trying to be independent of the home world. Kinda the first Togrutans to branch out. I was told that if I were to, you know, help someone scratch their back they could scratch mine, if you will.”

CAMERON: “That does nothing to explain to me why you’re here.”

LAURA: “Yes. That makes no sense.”

CAMERON: “Who’s back were you trying to scratch?”

STEVEN: “Oh, you know, the Corellian.”

CAMERON: “The Corellian’s back?”

LAURA: “The Corellian?!”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Did this Corellian have a name, or did you just see what they look like and just went with it?”

STEVEN: “Ehhh… Sako.”

CAMERON: “Ah, so Sako.”

STEVEN: “Sako.”

CAMERON: “Oh, so the one who was supposed to be with us?”

STEVEN: “Yes. That’s right. I was told if I do some of his bidding he might help me establish some routes between Osaron and Corellia.”

CAMERON: “Okay…”

STEVEN: “Yup.”

CAMERON: “So, we’ve seen your vast expertise at Astrogation and piloting.”

STEVEN: “Yes. Yes.”

CAMERON: “Do you have any actual skills?”

STEVEN: “While I am an expert at Astrogation and piloting, I like to think I am a skilled negotiator.”

CAMERON: “You like to think, or you are?”

STEVEN: “I’m a good pilot, aren’t I?”


STEVEN: “I negotiate as well as I pilot.”

LAURA: “No…”

CAMERON: “Oh great.”

STEVEN: “Okay. Okay. Before—“

LAURA: “You should not talk when we meet people.”

STEVEN: “We didn’t hit the trees. Okay? That’s how my negotiating works.”

LAURA: “Did we not? We did.”

CAMERON: “That was not you. That was me!” (laughs)

STEVEN: “I astrogated that.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. You astrogated to the trees.”

STEVEN: “That’s right. I wanted to test your skills. Why are you here?”

CAMERON: “Because I was hired for a bounty hunter job, because I’m a bounty hunter, and I brought in my mark very quickly and efficiently.”

STEVEN: “So why are you still here?”

LAURA: “Because money!”

CAMERON: “Well, because I’m being paid for a job. I don’t know if you are. Sako might be getting paid for this job.”

STEVEN: “Someone’s getting paid.”

LAURA: “I do not think that someone is you, though.”

STEVEN: “I’m getting paid in trade routes.”

LAURA: “So no.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “That is not money.”

STEVEN: “And in credits.”

LAURA: “That is money. I do not think you are getting those credits, though.”

STEVEN: “Credits aren’t as important on Osaron.”

CAMERON: “Good, because I don’t think you’re getting any.”

LAURA: “Is it a trade based society?”

STEVEN: “It’s more of a hunter gatherer society.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “So, trade based?”

STEVEN: “We’re trying to make it into more of a modern world, almost like the home world.”

LAURA: “So then you want money.”

STEVEN: “Trade routes.”

CAMERON: “So wait, so you’re branching off from the home world to become a different group of Togrutans, and are trying to make it so that the current society more reflects the home world. So, why did you leave?”

STEVEN: “Uh, no. No.”

CAMERON: “That is what you said.”

STEVEN: “Well, there’s a lot of group think that goes on in the Togrutan culture. Us on our colony aren’t as, uh, groupy.”

LAURA: Xianna pops back down, like upside down, and looks at Tink and goes, “That is going nowhere, and I do not think he knows what he is talking about. What is your deal? You are big, and furry.”

HUDSON: “Well, now that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit… What do you wanna know? What do you mean my deal?”

STEVEN: “Top or bottom?”

LAURA: “Like, what is your deal?”

HUDSON: “Well, as a child—Err. How far back? How far back do we need to go here?”


CAMERON: I was born on a Tuesday!

LAURA: “Just like a general… What is your thing? Who do you like? What is—?”

HUDSON: “Well, if you haven’t noticed, my thing is slicing. I’m very, very good at it. That’s why I got picked up for the job. One of the best in the land, actually, in Corellia.”

LAURA: “Okie. Computers. Uh-huh.”

HUDSON: “Yes.”

LAURA: “Anything else?”

HUDSON: “Well, um… I did learn computers in an Empire run school one time, but you can’t really trust the Empire I found out, and so I ditched that. Since then I’ve just been kinda learning on my own, making my own way.”

LAURA: “Where is your home? You say Imperial, but…”

HUDSON: “So, I was on Mandalor as a child, but for the longest—”

LAURA: “You do not look Mandalorian.”

CAMERON: “They normally don’t have quite as much hair.”

LAURA: “Usually they are just humans.”

HUDSON: “Well, my parents were brought there as slaves, thank you very much, if you had to know…”


HUDSON: “…from their original home of Gigor, which is where my race is from, but then they got sent to Mandalor as slaves before they were freed by Duchess Satine. So, there’s my story.”

LAURA: “Cool. I was just curious.”

HUDSON: “What’s your deal?”

STEVEN: “Top.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “I steal things.

HUDSON: “You steal things?”

LAURA: “I am sneaky.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Also, how open are you to a threesome with the Zabrak? He seemed interested. I just want to make sure, you know, keep things open just in case.”

HUDSON: “Well…”

LAURA: “I do not think we will have to, but you know, in the off chance that this will make things easier or if things get weird.”

CAMERON: Karma rolls over so that her head’s now hanging over the bed and just kind of stares at Sabos uncomfortably, and all my head tails just kind of fall around.

STEVEN: I like clear my head tentacles and stare uncomfortably back.

CAMERON: I pull my head back up.

HUDSON: “There was this one time back in college, things just kind of got weird. I had a lot of wine… So, if things happen, they happen is what I say. I try to go with the flow, cautiously.”

LAURA: “Okie. Just checking. Again, I do not think it is going to happen. You know, just checking all the options.”

HUDSON: “Well, thank you for your communication?”

LAURA: “I mean… Okie.”

STEVEN: “It seems like everyone’s open to it here, so… (mumbles)”

CAMERON: “Wait, what?”

HUDSON: “No one even asked you.”


LAURA: “No one asked you, Sabos. No one asked you.”

STEVEN: “I didn’t mean me. I’m not in y’all’s bunk. I’m in this bunk.”

CAMERON: “Oh. Okay. So, everyone referred to that bunk?”

LAURA: “You are on that side of the room. This side is the cool bunk. You are the not cool bunk.”

STEVEN: “I’m an ambassador.”

LAURA: “No you are not.”

STEVEN: “I’m too good for that.”

LAURA: “I do not think you are an official ambassador.”

STEVEN: “Look at my badge.” I hold up the badge.

LAURA: “Does that say Sakos?”

STEVEN: “No. this says Sabos. This is the Osaron official—“ (laughter)

LAURA: Which one does it say?

NICK: It says Sabos on it. Describe your Osaron ambassador’s badge.

STEVEN: It has a picture of Osaron, so basically just a circle with an orange… an orange circle. (laughter) And it says Sabos Niks, and a picture of me with my thumb up, and under that it says Ambassador.

LAURA: “That looks fake.”

STEVEN: “It’s laminated.”

LAURA: “That looks more fake than the fake badges I make.”

STEVEN: “As I said, we don’t have many resources on Osaron.”

LAURA: “Also, why is there just an orange blob? That could be anything.”

STEVEN: “That’s Osaron.”

LAURA: “I mean, again, it could be anything. So it is fake?”

STEVEN: “No. this is the official ambassador badge of Osaron. I know, because I am the official ambassador.”

LAURA: “Mmm… If you say so.”

STEVEN: “If you can make a better badge…”

LAURA: “I mean, maybe.”

STEVEN: “We Togrutans on Osaron might have need for your services.”

LAURA: “I do not have a laminator machine with me.”

STEVEN: “We can work that out.”


NICK: So, as you continue to discuss for a few hours, the camera pulls back. The sun has set. You hear night life in the jungle. As the camera pulls away from the outpost you see patrols going around on the exterior, and there’s a side-wipe that goes across, and suddenly you’re zoomed back in on the outside of your guest quarters, and it’s daytime, early morning.

HUDSON: I yawn as I wake up.

STEVEN: I sit up ambassadorily.

NICK: There’s a brief shot of you all waking up, and then another wipe—maybe this one’s a star wipe, we’ll get ridiculous with it—and you are all geared up and walking into the square in the middle of Outpost 4. You see one of the off-road speeders that was on the expedition yesterday, and Mills, the large guy with dark, lanky hair and scars, is throwing some crates of supplies into a trunk on the back. The speeder, now that you get a closer look, it hovers but also has skids on the bottom for sudden changes like palm tree trunks and underbrush and things. It looks like it seats six people. It’s got three two-person benches and then a large crate strapped to the back that works as a trunk, and he’s putting stuff into that crate back there.

As you walk up he waves at you and says, “Good morning.”

CAMERON: “Good morning.”

STEVEN: “Howdy, Mills.”

LAURA: “Egh.”

HUDSON: “Morning.”

CAMERON: Xianna doesn’t do mornings?

LAURA: Xianna’s not a morning person. She’s still kind of half asleep, and she’s probably leaning against whoever is right next to her, and kind of doing the jerky ‘I am awake, I am awake.’

STEVEN: “Mills, do we happen to know the description of the men we’re looking for today?”

NICK: “Well, there’s a couple of them. Their names are Lira and Williams. One of them is a stormtrooper and the other one’s an officer.”

CAMERON: “Which one is the trooper?”

NICK: “Lira.”

HUDSON: “Are they in love?”

NICK: “I… I don’t care. My job is to go get them.”

HUDSON: “So you’ll be joining us?”

NICK: “Yeah. I’ll be your guide, I guess. I was supposed to keep an eye on you. Falx presumably trusts you, which makes no sense, but the money’s good, and this is a lot more comfortable than where we used to live with all those beasts about, so I’ll take you wherever you need to go, but it’s gonna probably be an hour or so before we’re ready to leave. The speeder’s still charging, so if there’s anything you need to take care of before you go, now would be the time.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful.”

HUDSON: “Bathroom break.”

LAURA: “We literally just left. Did you not go?”

HUDSON: “I have to go a lot when I first wake up.”


LAURA: ‘Okie.”

NICK: Mills is like, “No, no, no. Not, not here in the square. There’s a barracks bathroom over there.”

HUDSON: “Oh. Oh, okay.”

STEVEN: I turn around so I cannot be seen by Karma, and clean my weapon and prepare it.


CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Why…?

STEVEN: I was giving Karma crap about cleaning the bug guts.

NICK: Oh, your actual weapon. Ohh.


CAMERON: His actual weapon. And now you’re really regretting not cleaning it yesterday.

LAURA: “Why do you–? You clean your weapons at night. Why are you do it right now?”

STEVEN: “I’m not cleaning my weapon. Damn it.” I run off.

LAURA: “Okie.”

CAMERON: Karma turns as she hears Xianna say this. (laughs)

NICK: As they all kinda scatter, Mills looks at Xianna and Karma who are still there and says “I’ve got basic supplies, but if you need anything specifically for the jungle there’s a quartermaster off the square over there,” and he points across the square.

CAMERON: “Fabulous.” I’m gonna go that way.

LAURA: “Thank you.” I go that way as well.

NICK: Okie-dokie. You see the building that he pointed out across the way, it looks like a very small shack on the other side of the square. Most of these buildings are probably between 500 and 1,000 square feet, so generally cabin sized. This one looks like an outhouse. As you come up to it, it’s another concrete building but it’s got one of the Star Wars doors on it, so it swooshes open and you see that it actually leads to just a staircase going down. The quartermaster is actually stationed in a basement dug into the ground.

As you go down the stairs, the walls are all dirt crisscrossed with durasteel beams to keep the area stable, and there’s a steel cage that takes up about two thirds of this basement with a bunch of crates of supplies behind it, and there’s a bored looking human behind a glass window. He’s bald with graying, short, cropped hair on the sides and eyes that bug out of his face. His belly presses against the desk in front of him. He makes eye contact with you but says nothing.

CAMERON: “Hey hun, do you have any vibro-swords?”

NICK: (reluctant and disinterested) “Yeah… but… Do you have an order issuing you a vibro-sword? They don’t just give those out.”

CAMERON: “No. I’m wanting to purchase one. We’re about to leave on an expedition for Falx.”

NICK: “Ugh. Vibro… Yeah. If you’re working for him, I guess I can explain the inventory later. Charge you… I don’t know, throw out a number. Normally I don’t have to do this. Uh, 750 credits?” The exact going rate of a vibro-sword.

CAMERON: Yeah. I was seeing if I had Negotiation, but I don’t yet. “Alright.”

NICK: You hand him ‘some credits,’ because Star Wars is super vague about what that looks like depending on what it is.

CAMERON: It’s like two and a half blocks of credits.

LAURA: Or maybe just one stick? I don’t know.

NICK: Gold bars, but sometimes they’re flash drives. Yeah, so you have a vibro-sword. It’s not super fancy, it’s got a tape grip on it, but it looks pretty much fresh out of the box, they just bought the cheapest functioning one that they could.

CAMERON: I go through the ones that they have and like slash with them and stuff to get the one that has the best feel.

NICK: Okay. They’re all identical, but one of them feels like it was wrapped a little bit better.

CAMERON: Cool. I take that one.

NICK: The guy behind the counter, after you’ve asked for the third one, is starting to look really annoyed. “Look, they’re all the same, just take one. I don’t know what you’re doing.”

CAMERON: The one that he hands me that time I do a more flashy slash with and go a little bit closer to him than I had been doing, so that he backs off.

NICK: Yeah. He shuts up, but also does not change his posture at all.

CAMERON: That’s fine. I just wanted him to stop talking.

LAURA: Xianna’s just gonna kinda smile and be like, “Do you have any grenades?”

NICK: “Uh, is this a military outpost? Yeah. What do you want?”

LAURA: “I know, but like… Do you just like give to me? I do not know the rules here. I’m sorry.”

NICK: “Just… they cost money. Just—“

LAURA: “I know they cost money, but you seemed confused about how much it costs with her.”

NICK: “No, I know things. I’m really good—I’m a good quartermaster. Yeah, we’ve got like all the grenades. Half these boxes are probably grenades. That’s why we’re underground. It’s not like I could die, or whatever.”

HUDSON: “I’d like two grenades, please.”

CAMERON: Tink says, walking in from the bathroom.

NICK: Oh, are you there now?

HUDSON: Yeah. Yeah, I’m done.

NICK: “Great, some weird albino Wookie.”

HUDSON: Whoa.”

LAURA: “Excuse me.”

HUDSON: “I’ll take THREE grenades.”

NICK: I don’t know how much grenades cost. How much do grenades cost?

LAURA: Uh, so I have knock-out grenades listed as 120, but that’s not a regular grenade.

NICK: We’ll just do 120, that’s fine. “So, it’s 120 a pop. I’m sure they all cost slightly different, but I don’t feel like looking it up, so either I’m giving you a good deal or I’m ripping you off. I’m not sure. Yeah. You want just like explode grenades?”

LAURA: “I want the exploding grenades.”

HUDSON: “Explode, please.”

NICK: “Okay. Wookie guy, here’s three.” He slides them across, you give him the money.

LAURA: “I want two please.”

NICK: “Okay. Here’s two. It’s fine. Whatever. Maybe I’ll even make sure the Empire gets this money back. Doesn’t matter.”

STEVEN: While they do that, I finally finish cleaning my weapon, go to Mills, ask where everyone is, and then join them in the outhouse.

NICK: Mills looks up from a panel he has open on the speeder, and he’s got a data pad plugged into it, and he’s running some diagnostics. “Why—You’re not with everyone else? What are you even… They’re that way. Go to the outhouse looking building. We’re leaving in like 20 minutes. I hope you get your stuff together.”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

NICK: Okay. Then it cuts back to you walking down the stairs. So, grenades, and a sword, I’m sure you’re definitely gonna wanna use a sword against a kirstens beast. Yeah, that’s a great idea.

STEVEN: “Ooh, I’ll have one of those swords.”

NICK: “You want a sword?”

STEVEN: “What did she get?” I point to Karma.

CAMERON: I slash the sword threateningly at you.

STEVEN: “Yes. Yes.”

NICK: “Sure, 750 credits.”

STEVEN: “Hoo, that’s pretty steep.”

NICK: “Yeah it is.”

CAMERON: “That’s the going rate for a vibro-sword.”

STEVEN: I can negotiate here, so I’m gonna actually try to negotiate with him.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: I’d like a better price. I’m kind of aiming for 500, but if he wants to do better…

NICK: (chuckle) You’re aiming for 500? Okay.

STEVEN: yeah. I want just a better price.

HUDSON: Get triple triumphs and you got it for 200.

NICK: Okay. Roll your Negotiation against his Negotiation, which is a red and two purples.


NICK: And also, you can have a black die because they’ve been irritating him this whole time.

STEVEN: Nah, I’ll just not do that, if that’s cool with you.

NICK: Is that one of your talents?


CAMERON: No, he flipped a light side point to not have the black die.

NICK: Oh. That’s not what that does. You can upgrade one of your greens to a yellow.

STEVEN: Oh. Well, never mind then. We can just put that back, and I’ll see what my talents are. Let’s see… Streetsmarts or Knowledge, that’s not that. Fuck it. Black die.

NICK: If you flip one it’ll upgrade one of your greens to a yellow, or add a green if you have all yellows.


LAURA: He’ll be fine.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: Or not.


NICK: Oh wow.

STEVEN: That would be a fuck ton of—

CAMERON: Two threats.

STEVEN: Two threats, yeah, and nothing else that really happens.

NICK: “Look, so, I report to the Empire. I don’t have to do anything for you all.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I understand. I’m not an imperialist.”

NICK: “Yeah. It’s time for you to stop talking now, buddy. Uh, you can give me 1,000 credits for this vibro-sword, or you can all get out.”

STEVEN: “750 sounds great.”

NICK: “Nope. The price is 1,000 credits.”

LAURA: “Do not—“

STEVEN: “What? What?!”

LAURA: “Sabos, stop it.” Has he given the rest of us all our stuff already?

NICK: yeah. You guys already have your stuff.

LAURA: Okay. Xianna definitely has already put the grenades into her magical pockets and is like kind of backing up with Karma and Tink, being like, “We should go… We should go right now… Let’s go…”

CAMERON: I sheath my sword with a flourish, and just turn in a swing of head tails and walk back up the stairs.

NICK: So it’s just him and Sabos left.

STEVEN: “So, 1,000 is not gonna work.” (laughter)

NICK: “You know, it’s kind of weird that she didn’t have a sword, right?” He says, pointing at Karma as she leaves. “Because she’s obviously good with one, but she didn’t have one. Are you good with a sword?”


NICK: “Okay. Why won’t 1,000 work? You broke?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.” (laughs)

NICK: “You smugglers never have any actual money, which is weird because you work in expensive stuff.”

STEVEN: “It’s a long trip out to Osaron.”

NICK: “Mm. You got anything worth trading?”

STEVEN: “That’s a curious question. Uh… Unless you’re interested in macro binoculars, I’m not entirely sure I got much for you.”

NICK: “How much money do you have?”

STEVEN: “750.”


NICK: “Oh. Well, I notice you’ve got an extra head tail. I’ll take that.”

STEVEN: “Not sure I’m willing to part with my extra head tail.”

NICK: “That’s pretty inconvenient for you, huh?”

STEVEN: “It certainly can be.”

NICK: “It’s weird having someone come into your personal space and immediately say that what is a part of you is not worth what you asked for, isn’t it?”

STEVEN: “Is the vibro-sword a part of you?”

NICK: “This is my inventory. I am the quartermaster.”

STEVEN: “Do you have any smaller cutting items, that might cost less?”

NICK: “I’ve got a vibro-knife, give to you for 200, and your macro binoculars.”

STEVEN: “Well, how about 250 and not the macro binoculars?”

NICK: “Yeah, okay. I was just trying to be mean at this point, but I want you to leave my thing now.”

STEVEN: “I’m cool with a knife.”

NICK: “Okay.”

STEVEN: “Alright.”

NICK: You can have a vibro-knife. I’m pretty sure I overcharged you like crazy for that, but whatever.

STEVEN: (laughing) That’ll work.

LAURA: Eh, they’re not cheap.

NICK: Yeah, well, or undercharged. This guy just wants him to go away. You have a vibro-knife. The stats are in the book.

CAMERON: The stats are right here.

NICK: And we’ll do a scene transition where they shake hands over the vibro-knife and the credits, and it zooms in on their hands, and it zooms out and everybody is in the speeder driving through the jungle.


NICK: Okay. You’re in the speeder. Did anybody volunteer to drive?


STEVEN: Oh, I—Yeah.

HUDSON: I should drive. Wait, is there only one speeder for all of us?

NICK: Yeah, it’s like a six-seater.

STEVEN: Oh yeah, I’m gonna drive.

LAURA: Xianna would’ve immediately called for a center seat, she wants a middle seat.

CAMERON: Are there? I thought it was three rows of two seats.

LAURA: Oh. I heard two rows of three seats. Which one is it?

NICK: It’s three rows of two seats.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

STEVEN: I have Piloting: Planetary. “I’m just really confident in my abilities.”

HUDSON: “Um, I’m gonna take this one after the whole tree incident.” So, I pilot.

STEVEN: “I do not concede.”

HUDSON: “We roll chance cubes to settle this.”

LAURA: Xianna takes both of the back seats.

HUDSON: “Do you need to borrow mine?”

CAMERON: Alright. Roll a force die. If it’s a light side then Tink drives, if it’s a dark side… (laughs)

STEVEN: Alright, let’s do it. Damn!

CAMERON: Tink drives.

HUDSON: Tink drives, light side!

NICK: And you owe him five credits. No, it’s just one light side. I thought it was two light side. Okay. You pull out chance cubes immediately with a glint in your eye and win the roll. You’re driving, Mills is in the seat next to you—

STEVEN: I sit in the passenger—No. No he’s not. (laughs)

NICK: So we flash back to a scene of Mills getting into the passenger seat and you laying a hand on his chest, with like ‘Excuse me.’

STEVEN: “Chance cube.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Okay. He’s like, “Fine. I’ll roll a chance cube. I’m a gambler.” Roll it.

STEVEN: Light, I sit there?

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: Okay. Damn it!

CAMERON: Dark side!

STEVEN: I get in the back seat.

NICK: Mills is like, “Fine, I’ll gamble. It’s fine. I’m just supposed to kind of help you guys figure out where to go. No big deal.” And you say, ‘Well, chance cubes,’ and without even turning from the driver’s seat Tink holds up a cube. You snatch it out of his hand, you roll it, and you immediately lose. Mills goes, “See,” and so he’s in the passenger’s seat.

In the second row there is actually one other person. It is an Imperial officer. He looks to be pretty young, like fresh, pretty nervous. He introduced himself as Spark Duelson. The camera zooms around, you’re all wearing the helicopter earphones with the microphones. “Oh boy. I sure am glad we’re out here in the jungle.”

LAURA: Wait. How old is he?!

NICK: (grinning) Like, 20-ish.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: A young 20.

CAMERON: Xianna is 100% sitting next to him.

NICK: I don’t know why I did the Morty voice. Okay?

LAURA: Xianna got into the back seat at first, and her plan was to spread out, and then she realized there was someone sitting there.

CAMERON: Karma was climbing into the middle seat, saw him, and was like ‘…no,’ and got back down and stood next to Xianna until Xianna got in. (laughter)

LAURA: No, no, Xianna is in the back seat, but she’s in the back seat right behind him and is doing the like, elbows on the back of his chair, leaning forward, being like, “So…” (giggles)

NICK: Which is funny, too, because you’re all connected with microphones, so there’s no reason to do that.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

NICK: “Oh. Oh wow. That sure is exciting. I’m sure excited to go out on this mission. Oh geez.”

CAMERON: So, I get back in the middle seat.

NICK: Spark Duelson. He’s a petty officer. “I specialize in communications!”


STEVEN: “Do you?”

NICK: “Yeah!”

LAURA: “Oh. That is fascinating. Tell me more~”

NICK: He blushes. “Yeah. Well, the funny thing is hyperspace communication, you’d think the higher frequency would—“ and the camera pans out, but he keeps talking for quite a while.

LAURA: No, like straight up, can I make a Charm roll to see if he can just like keep talking and maybe say something he shouldn’t?

NICK: Sure. What a great idea.

LAURA: What would the difficulty be?

NICK: Easy, because he’s a turd, but two black dice because you are driving fast, and also he doesn’t know a whole lot.

LAURA: So then, how many? Two black?

NICK: Two black dice. One because you’re on a speeder, and the other because he doesn’t know that much useful stuff anyway.

LAURA: Two successes.

NICK: Oh. Yeah. “Well, you’d think the higher frequencies would be more important, but actually the low frequencies are more important, especially when we’re bypassing Imperial code to try to get our smuggling equipment out. … Oops.”


LAURA: Uh, where is Tink sitting?

CAMERON: Tink’s driving.

LAURA: Oh, Tink’s driving, so never mind. She does kind of look over at Karma and wink, and then just go, “Oh? Um, why would you say oops? I did not hear anything. I am just so interested in what you are saying.”

NICK: “Oh, that’s good, because if I let loose that the lower frequencies make it easier to bypass Imperial code so we could shed our smuggling equipment, that would be really bad. … Oops.”

LAURA: “Again, I do not understand. It is okay.”

NICK: “Maybe it’s like a nervous tick. I just say oops sometimes. I’m sure it won’t come up. Everything’s fine.”

LAURA: “It is so cute. Do not mind.”

NICK: “Oh, you think I’m cute?” He like clams up and blushes.

CAMERON: (laughing) Karma scoots over towards the wall a little bit more in their seat, kind of like ‘um…’

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: She’s feeling awkward, because he’s the same age as her sons, and she’s like, agh, I don’t wanna think about my kids doing this. I do not want my kids to meet Xianna. (laughter)

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, Xianna’s like 23 or 24.

CAMERON: Yeah, but you seem real dangerous. (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs) Oh yeah. It is not good.

NICK: You drive your speeder for about an hour into the jungle, and you come to a clearing, and there’s some obvious blaster marks on some of the surrounding trees, and like a fight has happened here. Mills signals for Tink to slow down and stop.

HUDSON: I slow down and stop.

NICK: Great. Mills hops out with a (grunts), action man noises, and he’s carrying his stripped down blaster. “This is where we lost track of the original party. We found two of them, but three of them are still missing besides the deserters.”

HUDSON: “Were the two found dead or alive?”

NICK: “They were pretty dead, but I can’t tell if they got shot first or chewed on by some of the local flora and fauna first. By the way, some of the plants also eat, because I said flora and fauna.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “You did say flora.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, the flora kind of freaked me out a little bit. Alright.”

HUDSON: “That’s a little bit scary.”

LAURA: “That is concerning.”

NICK: As he says that, you hear this weird creaking noise from a tree. He goes, “Not today!” And he shoots it twice, and the tree goes still. (laughter) “That’s right! That’s where these scars are from.” He points to some big, long ones down his chest.

LAURA: “A tree? Really?”

CAMERON: “Wow. Alright. Don’t touch trees.”

LAURA: “Okie. Yes. Do not touch the trees.”

NICK: “Basically, if it bleeds you can kill it, but it can also kill you…”

LAURA: “Do the trees—“

NICK: “And everything on this planet bleeds!”

LAURA: “Okie. I was just about to ask if the trees bleed.”

CAMERON: “So we’re shooting all the plants?”

NICK: “Except for the ones you don’t want to make angry. That tree had it coming.”

CAMERON: “Okay…” (laughs)

LAURA: I’m going to stand in the middle.

STEVEN: This makes sense.

NICK: “This is why I’m along. I was born and raised here on Unroola Dawn.”

CAMERON: “I am finding myself more and more grateful that you’re here, Mills.”

NICK: “Me too.” He looks confused for a second, and then goes back to surveying the scenery. “Well, you’re on this mission to try and find these deserters, so get to finding.” He sets up like a cover position on a tree stump and starts scanning the edges of the perimeter.

CAMERON: Could I do a Perception check?

NICK: Perception checks would be good. Survival would be better.

STEVEN: I was gonna roll a Survival.

CAMERON: Okay, you roll Survival.

LAURA: I don’t have Survival. I could try it, though.

HUDSON: I’m doing Perception.

STEVEN: How hard is this Survival check, Mister Master?

LAURA: Actually, I’ll do Perception.

NICK: Average.

LAURA: It’s not dark or anything, is it?

NICK: No. There’s a lot of undergrowth. Perception will be hard. Survival will be average. That’s three purples.

HUDSON: Three successes, two threats.

STEVEN: Two successes and a threat.

LAURA: (groans)

CAMERON: That was a Survival?


CAMERON: Alright. Here comes my Perception…

HUDSON: Xianna got a weird roll.

CAMERON: Hey! You got a Cam roll.

LAURA: Okay, so I rolled a Perception, and it’s definitely a Cam roll. It’s a triumph with the success cancelled out, and a threat.

CAMERON: Nope. I failed.

NICK: Any threats or anything?

CAMERON: Nope, just failures.

HUDSON: I had two successes and two threats.

NICK: Okay. With the successful Survival check by Sabos, you find a trail through some, they look like palms except when you look on the underside there’s a bunch of teeth hanging down, but they’re kind of bent back and broken, and there’s a tree with a blaster mark in it that doesn’t look like a ricochet, it looks like someone shot this tree, and you see a little trail of footsteps with a little bit of blood leading off, at about a 45 degree angle to the left, more west than the way you were driving but still the same general direction you guys were going.

With the successful Perception check, Tink, you see the same thing. You and Sabos are standing on the edge of the clearing pointing. ‘Okay, I see this,’ and he’s able to chime in with his survival skills of ‘you can tell from here that they were hurt, because they’re bleeding…’


HUDSON: Didn’t pick up on that.

LAURA: Uh-huh. Yeah?

NICK: Then, all of those threats kick in right about now. You hear a horrific screeching noise, and a bunch of what look like monkeys drop out of the trees straight down onto you. You look at about four of them. What they look like is capuchin monkeys, but with no legs or arms or tails, and where their tail would be is a hooked crab claw looking thing, and on their tummies are whole bunches of like millipede legs. You don’t get to see a very good look at that because they’re dropping at your faces.


NICK: This is where Xianna’s triumph kicks in, that she happens to be looking up, because she’s looking around like ‘I don’t see shit…’

LAURA: ‘That is not why I am here. I am here to steal things. The bounty hunter an survivalist person can look at trees.’

NICK: Yeah. You’re looking up, tapping your foot, and you see these things drop out of the sky, so you get a shot before a Vigilance roll.

LAURA: “Oh shit!” Yeah. I’m gonna pull out my gun and shoot them. Also, my gun has Quickdraw in it.

NICK: Nice. The gun has Quickdraw?

LAURA: Filed Frontsight, gives you the innate talent of Quickdraw but it does increase the difficulty of checks beyond short.

NICK: Okay. They’re medium. So, it doesn’t upgrade, it increases? So would that make it a hard shot?

LAURA: Increases difficulty of checks beyond short range by one.

NICK: So you get a shot off while they’re still at range, and then you’ll still get to roll initiative, so you might get another shot off before they actually land.

HUDSON: Is our first battle gonna be four monkeys?

NICK: Maybe. (laughs)

HUDSON: That’s great.

NICK: Hey man, don’t shit all over my encounters.

HUDSON: (laughs) No. I’m saying it’s great.

STEVEN: And they’re pretty tasty.

NICK: Good connection.

LAURA: One failure, three advantages.

NICK: Okay. You miss. How would you like to spend those advantages? You can give people blue dice, you can change the environment…

LAURA: I’m gonna give whoever shoots next a blue die, just by the fact that me shooting them lets everyone know where they are.

NICK: Yeah. I think that’s fair.

CAMERON: Amid you yelling ‘oh sheet!’

LAURA: I do yell ‘oh sheet!’ (giggles)

NICK: I need you all to roll Vigilance for me, please.

STEVEN: Oh, wonderful.

HUDSON: Oh great.

CAMERON: Two advantages for Karma.

HUDSON: One advantage.

LAURA: Two successes and one advantage.

STEVEN: Two advantages.

NICK: Wow, y’all are really bad. Could you roll me a yellow and a green for Mills, please?

CAMERON: Yup. Two successes and a triumph.

NICK: Okay. So, Mills is gonna go first.

LAURA: yeah!

STEVEN: Triumphs don’t include successes?

CAMERON: Yes they do.

STEVEN: Oh, they do?

CAMERON: A triumph includes a success, but not an advantage, because the triumph is the better advantage.

STEVEN: Oh, okay. Gotcha.

NICK: So, if you could go ahead and roll for me… his shooting is two greens and a yellow, and it’s an average check, but he gets a blue die for reasons.

CAMERON: That is, heh, five advantages.

HUDSON: Was that blue die from Laura or for other reasons?

NICK: The blue die: He hears ‘oh sheet,’ and immediately action rolls and lands in the middle, points up, and starts shooting. He sees that he’s not gonna be able to move his arms fast enough, but he’s so comfortable with the jungle and having been raised there his whole life, he immediately shoots down in a circle around him, and you realize his blaster is a fully automatic modified rifle.

He shoots, and it sprays a whole bunch of dead leaves and stuff into the air and makes a weird smoky screen thing where anything that might be trying to land on you wouldn’t be able to see as well. He’s going to spend all of his advantages on, the first round, any attack that they do is gonna have a black die. There’s four of them, and four of y’all, so that’s pretty good. That was Mills, being awesome, and he spits to the side and says, “I hate bug monkeys.”

CAMERON: “Oh, these are the cute things? What?”

LAURA: “These are not cute.”

NICK: It’s the next person’s turn.

LAURA: I had two successes and an advantage. Karma should use that first PC slot.

NICK: Okay. One PC slot.

CAMERON: Are they still at medium?

NICK: By now they’re at short range, so they’re probably five or six feet above your head at this point.

CAMERON: I’m gonna shoot ‘em.

LAURA: Shoot ‘em real good.

CAMERON: With my blaster. I’m gonna take the blue die from Xianna.


NICK: Do you want to aim? You could use a maneuver to aim.

CAMERON: Oh hey! I’ll use a maneuver to aim! Another blue die!

NICK: What a great idea. Let’s use the game.

CAMERON: (laughs) Oh right, we’re playing a game. Two successes, two advantages.

NICK: Okay. How much damage is that?

CAMERON: That is 11 damage. I shoot one of the bug monkeys for 11 damage. For my advantages, I want to shoot that monkey into one of its friends to knock it off course so it doesn’t land on someone.

NICK: Okay. It’ll have a black die on its attack, but it’s because its corpse fell into it.


NICK: The bolt—You’re using military grade hardware here, so it basically turns into a donut of a bug monkey, and the shrapnel spins into another one and you hear (animal noise) and then it continues to fall in bullet time. Looks like it’s four, now three times NPC slots. The first one is going to fall directly onto Sabos’s face. Do you have defense of any kind?


NICK: Alright. Can you roll me an average difficulty two green dice? Oh, with a black die because it can’t see very good.

CAMERON: A failure and three advantages.

NICK: Okay. It’ll use the advantages. They have some sort of weird sonar thing going on, so it misses but it begins chittering to one of its friends who is also landing right now on Tink’s face. Tink, do you have any defense or anything?

HUDSON: Mine shows blank, so I don’t think I do. I don’t know if I ever calculated it.

CAMERON: (laughs) So, no.

LAURA: You don’t, no, because you have no armor or anything.

NICK: Okay. The same thing, but with a black die, but also a blue die.

CAMERON: Failure, three advantages.

NICK: Okay. Well, it’s gonna use those three advantages to super boost the last one that is falling straight for Xianna. It’s the one that she missed the first time. It’s also the one that got hit with the shrapnel. So, two black dice, two blue dice.

CAMERON: Four failures and an advantage.

NICK: Wow. These things suck.

CAMERON: I roll so well. This is great.

NICK: Next time Hudson is rolling for the bad guys.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s also yelling, “No! Not my face!”

NICK: It comes flying down. The advantage is that you flinch away, because these things are kind of gross looking. You flinch away, it lands to the ground, but you’re kind of off balance if you try to shoot it so you’ll have a black die on your next attack, but it looks up at you and bears its teeth and hisses, and it has those same giant red bug eyes where you would expect cute, little monkey eyes to be.

LAURA: ‘Nooo!’


NICK: And its tail has that lobster claw thing on it, and it clicks at you a little bit. Now there are three more PC slots. Who would like to go next? These things are now on the ground, one bounced off of Sabos without really doing much, one bounced off of Tink, and the other one just went (falling noise), bump, on the ground away from Xianna.

STEVEN: I’ll shoot.

NICK: Okay. Sabos is gonna try and shoot one of these things. Does the full rifle have any negatives for close range? This thing is engaged with you—


NICK: Well, not engaged like you’re gonna get married. Oh boy.

LAURA: Tell us. How did it propose?

CAMERON: It tried to fall on his face.

STEVEN: It did. It dropped out of the sky on my face.

LAURA: Aww. It dropped down onto one knee and presented a ring.

CAMERON: Of teeth.

LAURA: With a beautiful jewel of Yavin on it. (giggles)

NICK: (weakly) It is at engaged range. That means, because you have your big, giant rifle, that it is +2 difficulty, so instead of an easy check it’s a hard check.


NICK: yeah. Shoot that thing. Or, you could try to shoot one across the place from you, and those are at medium range. Across the clearing, that’s the word I was trying to use. That means the one that tried to kill you—

STEVEN: No, I’ll shoot the one close to me.

NICK: Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.

CAMERON: Do you wanna flip a light side point to upgrade?

STEVEN: Yeah. Can I upgrade one of my dice?


NICK: Ooh, fancy.


STEVEN: Well, there’s a failure and an advantage.

NICK: You miss. This thing hisses at you. How would you like to spend your advantage?

STEVEN: It is pissed off at someone else.

NICK: I think that would take more than one advantage.

CAMERON: You can give the next person a blue die.

STEVEN: Yeah, let’s do that, or just like it slips in the leaves and shit.

NICK: I like that it slips in the leaves. You could give it a black die for that. It’s a little dazed. It’ll be harder to hit you.

CAMERON: Your shot fires up some leaves and they land on top of it.

STEVEN: That’ll work.

CAMERON: So now it has to dig its way out.

NICK: It’s covered in the leaves. You just see the pincer claw come up. It’s like the old vampire myths. It’s picking up one leaf at a time to set it aside.

LAURA: Oh god. It’s gotta count all the leaves now. (laughter)

NICK: Alright. On to whoever is going next.

HUDSON: I wanna go next, because I have a vibro-axe, so I was built for this type of battle.

NICK: Oh, yeah, okay.

CAMERON: (giggling) Against tiny monkeys.

HUDSON: Against tiny monkeys. The one that landed on me, where is that?

NICK: It’s just in the grass next to you scuttling around and missing.

HUDSON: I just try to go, whack, and hit it with my vibro-axe.

NICK: Makes sense. Your difficulty will be two purples.

HUDSON: A success.

NICK: How much damage does your vibro-axe do?

HUDSON: It does Brawn +3, and my Brawn is 3, so 6. Crit 2!

NICK: Well, you didn’t have a crit…

HUDSON: I know. I’m just letting you know. Laughs)

NICK: No, that’s good to know. Thank you. I appreciate that. You cut it cleanly in half and the two halves fall to the ground, and skitter off in separate directions, and then fall down and finish dying.

HUDSON: Ah. I didn’t know they work like that. That’s interesting to know.

CAMERON: Question. On melee, do you add the number of successes to your damage as well?

NICK: Yes.

CAMERON: Okay. So, it was actually one more damage than that, too.

NICK: Okay. That leaves Xianna left.

LAURA: Yeah. I’m going to aim at the one in front of me, and then shoot it.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: Would it be short range by now?

NICK: Yeah. It missed so it’s not engaged with you, but it is short range.

LAURA: What is short range? Average?

CAMERON: Two, yeah.

LAURA: And then, what is my shooting… That would be five successes and one threat.

NICK: Wow. That does, what, 11 damage?

NICK: Yes, 11.

NICK: Dang I’m good. Yeah, it explodes in a puff of purply venom, with a small monkey ‘eep.’

LAURA: “Ew.”

NICK: Yeah. There’s like one little stream of smoke out of a crater from where the monkey used to be. It is gone. You shot it real good. Now we’re back to the top. Mills looks around and says, “I’ll make sure there’s not more of them,” and he goes running off into the jungle.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “No. where are you going? There is still one here.” Xianna’s like pointing at the claw like, ‘No…’

NICK: You hear a tree creaking. He says, “Shut up, tree!” Pew pew, and then goes running off. That comes to a PC slot.

STEVEN: Uh, yeah…

NICK: … Okay. It’s the one by you. You gonna shoot him?

STEVEN: I’m gonna try to stab it with my vibro-knife.

NICK: Okay. (laughs) I’m so excited. The difficulty is two.

CAMERON: So, that’s Melee. Melee is always two.

NICK: Thank you rules expert.

CAMERON: You’re welcome!

STEVEN: Should I upgrade? I don’t know.

NICK: Ah-ha.

CAMERON: You should’ve upgraded.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: So, it’s a failure and two advantages.

NICK: I like this monkey thing so much. How would you like to spend your two advantages?

STEVEN: It’s buried again.

NICK: Okay. It’s more under the dirt.

STEVEN: (laughs) It’s really buried.

NICK: It’s going to spend its maneuver digging itself out of the dirt, I guess. It’ll still have a black die. It’s going to attack you, Sabos.

CAMERON: Alright Hudson, you have to roll this time for the monkey.

HUDSON: Oh, you’re right. What do I roll?

NICK: Two greens and two purples with one black die.

HUDSON: One success, two threats.

NICK: Yay!


NICK: Good job, buddy!

HUDSON: Good die rolls.


NICK: Geez. That’s weird. You said one success and two threats? Here’s what happens. It finally jumps up out of this, you see from where it jumps that it’s actually in a two foot hole at this point because you keep burying it further. It latches onto your chest, and it opens its mouth and it does that really creepy unfolding thing, and some mandibles come out and sink into your chest. It does, with one success, 7 damage.

STEVEN: Oh, of course.

CAMERON: That hits your soak, so you take 3 wounds.

NICK: And it’s super excited, and it makes happy, gloating monkey noises.


NICK: You all see this thing latch onto Sabos and stab him with its weird, monkey bug mouth.

LAURA: “Ah? That is not good.”

HUDSON: “Ooh. Ow.”


NICK: While its head is sunk into his chest the claw tail is snipping at all of you. Click-click-click.

HUDSON: Who’s next?

CAMERON: So, next is a PC slot?

NICK: Yes, PC slot.

CAMERON: Okay. Karma looks at Sabos, and then looks down at her gun… and then is like ‘well, alright, let’s do this,’ and aims her blaster carbine at his face. (laughter)

NICK: Okay…


NICK: Which is especially interesting since it’s on his chest.

STEVEN: Because a knife wouldn’t work.

NICK: She’s like, ‘it would be a mercy to put him down.’

CAMERON: (laughs) I’m aiming at the monkey.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: Xianna’s looking at Karma, looks down at her gun, and then Xianna also looks over at Sabos, and is like, ‘oh no…’ (giggles)

CAMERON: (laughs) Okay. So, there’s no blue dice left or anything, right?


CAMERON: I’m sure you’ll be fine.


CAMERON: (laughing) I am gonna upgrade it so that I have less of a chance of shooting you on accident.

STEVEN: Yup. Yup.

CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine. See, look, you’re fine. One success.


NICK: Ooh, that was close.

LAURA: So close.

CAMERON: That’s 10 damage to the monkey.

NICK: Okay. You shoot him, shoot the monkey in the back of the head, and it splatters its guts onto Sabos’s chest, and falls to the ground. The force transfers into you a little bit. It knocks you back. It feels like you got punched by somebody who wasn’t trying to hurt you too bad.

STEVEN: Great.

NICK: But it was real scary, and the monkey is now dead at your feet. The bug monkey, that’s the race’s name, bug monkey, and by race I mean animal species because this is not a sentient creature.

CAMERON: From Sabos’s point of view, you just saw me look at you, look at my gun, and then kinda shrug and just raise my gun and point it at you no biggie.

STEVEN: Yup. Yup… Um…

CAMERON: So, you feel loved.

STEVEN: “I appreciate you getting the monkey off me.”

CAMERON: “You’re welcome. You should try shooting it next time.”

STEVEN: “I… Mm-hmm.”

HUDSON: I missed the opportunity to say ‘You got a monkey on your front!’ instead of on your back. That wouldn’t have been a good joke.


LAURA: “Is okay.”

NICK: So, Sabos is standing there and he’s got a big, purple splotch on his chest, and as you’re watching you see some red kind of seep out of two pretty good sized holes in his chest.

LAURA: “Do you have medical supplies for yourself?”

STEVEN: “Nah.”

LAURA: “No? (huffs) You owe me.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: She like rummages around in her pockets until she finds a stim pack and like walks up and just jabs it into his throat. You heal 5 wounds.

STEVEN: Oh. That should do it. (laughs)

NICK: So, the stim packs are just like pocket morphine and adrenaline. The bleeding kind of stops, because they have stuff for that, but there’s still some holes in your chest you’re able to bandage up, but you feel great.

LAURA: Well, you heal 5 wounds, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1, then they don’t work.

NICK: Yeah, they become less useful, so yay drugs.

LAURA: Yay! (laughs)

NICK: You’re able to kind of shrug it off. Mills comes charging back into the clearing, and he’s got like seven more of those monkey things in various states of exploded held by the tail. “Here, I got the rest of ‘em. They were trying to make an ambush. These things are wily suckers. So, if we scatter these around the clearing… We’ve been driving for not that long, but I think we probably need to set up. We can plan from here.” He sets about scattering all the monkey guts around the clearing. “That’ll keep the trees from coming after us for a while.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “I don’t believe the trees—How do they move?”

CAMERON: “Are the trees gonna go after the monkeys instead?”

NICK: “No. They just don’t like the smell, and it’ll keep the other monkeys away.”

CAMERON: (quietly) “The trees don’t like the smell?”

LAURA: Xianna is SO concerned at this point. She’s like, ‘The trees? What is this planet? What are we doing on here?’

NICK: Oh, I forgot to mention. Mills has a headband tied around his forehead, like a red long one, and like jungle camo paint on his face which he did not have two minutes ago. ‘I’ve seen some things in the jungle… SO, let’s make camp here for just a minute and come up with a plan—it looks like you guys saw something—and then we’ll move on.”

CAMERON: “Great…”

NICK: And that’s where we’ll end this week’s episode.

(all make dramatic noises)


CAMERON: Lovely.

STEVEN: Just like half a step off.

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 3 Let’s Get Civilized – Tabletop Squadron

PDF download: Episode 3 Let’s Get Civilized – Tabletop Squadron

Read in browser:

Episode 3- Let’s Get Civilized

The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.

We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to



[00:00:18] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron. A Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your gamemaster. Every Thursday our story follows a theif, a bounty hunter, a fringer and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Thanks for tuning in and we hope you enjoy. But before we get to the episode I have a quick note from Laura. Lots of exciting developments.



[background guitar music]


[00:00:45] – Laura

Hello Squadron. This is Laura here, letting you know that we have some cool new artwork but we will only release it when we hit ten iTunes reviwews. Yes we are holding our own artwork hostage, so please head over to iTunes and leave us a reviwew. Everyone review helps new people find us, so leave us a 5 star review.





[00:01:17] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Episode 3 of Tabletop Squadron, you’re back for more. Isn’t that great. I’m here with the whole party today, going to be doing some stuff and some things. We’ll go around say who you are and what character you were playing.


[00:01:31] – Cameron



[00:01:32] – Nick



[00:01:32] – Cameron

I’m Cameron and I’m playing Karma Naihlo.


[00:01:35] – Steven

Hi I’m not Cameron. I’m actually Stephen, [group laughter] I’m playing Sabos Niks.


[00:01:41] – Nick



[00:01:42] – Hudson

Hi I’m Hudson and I’m playing Tink.


[00:01:45] – Laura

Hi I’m Laura and I’m playing Xianna’fan


[00:01:49] – Nick

and I’m Nick your game master, working on my podcast voice. OK so -uh- you guys got some experience from the last couple of sessions that we played through go around and if you purchased anything to make your characters better please let me know what you did.


[00:02:05] – Hudson

So Tinc used the 20 XP, I purchased an item from the talent tree called defensive slicing when I’m defending a computer system add a black die per rank of defense of slicing to the opponent’s checks. I also leveled up my piloting planetary to level 2.


[00:02:22] – Nick



[00:02:24] – Cameron

All right. So I spent a mystery ten points on some skills that I don’t remember what I upgraded but I also bought two talents from my talent trees for my Skip Tracer tree I’ve got hardboiled so when I’m recovering strain after an encounter I can spend an advantage up to my ranks in hardboiled to cover one wound per advantage. And then I also bought Stalker for my assassins tree [Nick: -oOOoo-] so I had a blue die per rank of stalker to all stealthing coordination checks.


[00:02:55] – Nick

Wow that’s [Cameron: yeah] pretty cool.


[00:02:57] – Cameron

I am Death. Hear me.


[00:03:00] – Laura

I use my point to buy street smarts which is to remove a setback or black dice per rank of street smarts from streetwise or knowledge underworld checks. I bought indistinguishable which upgrades the difficulty of checks to identify my character once per rank of indistinguishable and I got grit so I have plus one strain.


[00:03:21] – Nick



[00:03:22] – Steven

I done used my extra points. Not sure if that’s how a Togrutan talks. [Cameron: oh gosh] To upgrade my piloting space to level 2 and I added a level of galaxy mapper to my fringer tree which I can remove a- it’s a black and white chart but I think [Cameron: black die] it’s a black die per [Nick laughs] rank of galaxy mapper from astrogation checks.


[00:03:42] – Nick

Yeah god [Cameron: that’ll be-] know you need that.


[00:03:44] – Steven

Half the normal time.


[00:03:45] – Cameron

That will be useful.


[00:03:47] – Nick

Right. So that’s what your characters are doing. Time to roll your force points


[00:03:53] – Cameron

Destiny role


[00:03:54] – Nick

Destiny points. [group laughter] Destiny’s Child points. [dice sounds] All the single Togrutans.


[00:04:01] – Cameron

One dark side and


[00:04:03] – Hudson

Quick no one chase waterfalls.


[00:04:05] – Steven

Light side [dice sounds]


[00:04:07] – Hudson

Oooooh it was almost white side but it’s one dark side.


[00:04:10] – Laura

One dark side.


[00:04:11] – Steven

Y’all [Cameron: oh dear] suck


[00:04:13] – Hudson

We suck.


[00:04:14] – Nick



[00:04:14] – Steven

Am I the only one here on the white side?


[00:04:16] – Multiple Speakers



[00:04:17] – Nick

Can we call it light side please?


[00:04:18] – Steven

That’s what I said.


[00:04:19] – Nick

I’m- I’m hearing white side


[00:04:21] – Steven

Oh no, [group laughter] on the light side. Light. Llllliiight.


[00:04:25] – Nick

Light side


[00:04:26] – Steven

Light side


[00:04:28] – Cameron

So we have one light side, 3 dark side


[00:04:30] – Nick

Sweet. All right


[00:04:31] – Cameron

This is going to go great.


[00:04:34] – Steven

Yup We’ll be fine.


[00:04:34] – Nick

So when we last left off you saw an imperial contingent coming into outpost four , you’d kind of gotten a lay of the land and they showed up and you watch them enter. You saw some storm troopers you saw a strange shark like monster with millipede feet all over it called a Kersten’s beast and you also saw the supposedly leader of the outpost a Zabrak man with light tattoos and a all white expeditionary outfit who managed to pack his own martini with him on the trip and he climbed out of the speeder and said oh boy sure is good to be home. And the locals were going to cut down that big shark thing. And as you’re taking in this scene they cut the rope that’s attached to its tail and it falls and hits the ground. And there is a poof of dust and you see the monsters eyes open. They’re bright [Cameron: uh oh] red and they have segmented like insect eyes that you didn’t see under the lids and it -uh- locks with you. And I’m going to need cool checks from everybody


[00:05:45] – Cameron

[whispers] ooh shit.


[00:05:46] – Steven

oh yeah


[00:05:47] – Nick

or I guess that’d be vigilance.


[00:05:48] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] That’d be vigilance, yeah [Nick: -mmhhmm-]


[00:05:48] – Laura



[00:05:50] – Nick

Because this thing immediately starts scuttling towards you.


[00:05:53] – Steven

Are you sure it can’t be a cool check?


[00:05:55] – Nick



[00:05:56] – Cameron

Cause we- we weren’t planning for this to happen.


[00:05:57] – Hudson

What level of difficulty?


[00:05:59] – Cameron

None just the- just the uuh


[00:06:00] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] I just need to know what you guys get.


[00:06:03] – Hudson

Oh [dice sounds] [Steven: I’m sure it’ll be fine]. Two successes.


[00:06:05] – Nick

Your vigilance is one green?


[00:06:07] – Hudson



[00:06:07] – Nick

That’s going to be real bad for you. [Steven says something in the background]


[00:06:08] – Hudson

That’s one will power.


[00:06:09] – Cameron

-uh- will power [Steven: yeah]


[00:06:10] – Laura

One success and two advantages.


[00:06:12] – Cameron

Karma got a success and a triumph. So two successes and a triumph? [Nick: mmhhm]


[00:06:17] – Steven

I got a success.


[00:06:20] – Nick

OK so you got a success and a triumph. Karma, Xianna, what did you get?


[00:06:24] – Laura

One success. Two advantages.


[00:06:26] – Nick

  1. So this monster thing is moving at you surprisingly quickly. You see that it’s tail is actually flicking back and forth like a shark would while swimming but it’s on the ground and you hear this really gross -sttksttksttk- noise as it comes across the dirt and as if in slow motion Karma is able to bring her blaster rifle to bear on this thing as it gets within about ten yards of you. And you can try and do something about this.


[00:06:53] – Cameron

I’mma shoot it


[00:06:54] – Nick

Makes [Cameron: in the face] sense. And so the rest of you are staring aghast at this monster and you’re also noticing that all of the storm troopers who are at parade attention are slowly going for their weapons, much slower than karma would.


[00:07:07] – Cameron

What’s the difficulty? Average? mmkay


[00:07:10] – Nick

But also a black die because gross!


[00:07:13] – Laura



[00:07:14] – Cameron

is there any talent I have?


[00:07:16] – Nick

So roll me that shot.


[00:07:22] – Cameron

Hey [Cameron giggles] two successes three threats.


[00:07:26] – Nick

Great. So you managed to-


[00:07:28] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Can I  fall prone? [deep base noise] Because there’s a giant shark coming at me and I fall backwards as I shoot?


[00:07:34] – Nick

Absolutely. Three threats is-


[00:07:36] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Three threats is fall prone. I wanna fall prone. [deep base noise]


[00:07:40] – Nick

So -uh- [Cameron: I fall on my butt] so how much damage do you do?


[00:07:42] – Cameron

I do- let’s see. That was my carbine, nine ten, eleven damage.


[00:07:46] – Nick

Wow that’s a pretty solid hit. So you hit it right between the eyes and it stumbles for a second and stumbling on a thousand legs looks pretty interesting but it keeps coming at you. And as Sabos and Xianna go to pull their guns up as well you hear two more shots ring out and it’s the two locals that you saw standing by the speeder and they both draw and fire pretty much in unison just a little behind you and they hit it and you see the light go out of its gross bug eyes and it skids on its nose right up to your feet and it stands still.


[00:08:21] – Cameron

Eeewwww [Nick: that happened ] I just kind of stare at it.


[00:08:25] – Steven

I’ve still kind of want to shoot it.


[00:08:27] – Nick

Go ahead. If you want to. It’s not moving. You don’t really have to roll. How much damage does shooting it do?


[00:08:34] – Steven



[00:08:35] – Nick



[00:08:35] – Laura

Double tap it.


[00:08:36] – Steven

Oh yeah yeah. I- Right.


[00:08:38] – Cameron

You have to have- [Steven: I’mma double tap] you have to have an even number of shots for double tap to work. So…


[00:08:43] – Steven

That’s true.


[00:08:44] – Nick

As you- as you draw your pistol and shoot the-


[00:08:48] – Steven

Oh it’s not a pistol.


[00:08:49] – Cameron

[laughing] It’s his rifle.


[00:08:49] – Nick

Oh, your giant rifle!


[00:08:51] – Steven

This is a blaster.


[00:08:52] – Nick

I forgot. As you unsling your rifle and it just blows the head open in like a fountain of fish guts. I know what fish guts smell like I don’t really know what bug guts smell like but this creature smells like a combination of the two.


[00:09:08] – Steven

I actually could imagine that.


[00:09:10] – Nick

Great. That means my descriptions are perfect. And as you blow it open one of the locals the male they both put their guns back into the speeder and the male kind of shakes his head. Waste of a good trophy. And he walks off to the other side of the speeder and starts to unpack and you have drawn the attention of Mr. White Clothes who says Well that was a surprise. Mills I thought you said you killed the thing. The local shrugs again and he pulls out a vibro-machete looking thing. So it’s like almost vibro-sword bigger than a vibro-knife. Big ‘ol “Now this is a knife” type weapon.


[00:09:48] – Hudson

Vibro-axe level or ?


[00:09:49] – Laura



[00:09:50] – Nick

No it’s not a giant death machine. It’s like not quite a fight people with this weapon but much bigger than a what you would use normally. And he goes over to the Kersten’s beast and starts lopping the head off of it what’s left of the head and mostly a puddle at this point.


[00:10:05] – Cameron

As more and more shark fish bug guts start flying I back up and shake the guts off of me that I assume got on me when Sabos shot its head right in front of me.


[00:10:17] – Nick

Yes. So you didn’t get hit with like big goopy bits but it did shoot a fine purple mist into the air. That’s been kind of raining down. So you’re sort of speckled on your shoulders.


[00:10:28] – Cameron



[00:10:30] – Steven

That’s… trophy juice.


[00:10:31] – Laura

How much is on Xianna, if any?


[00:10:34] – Nick

Probably a little… [Laura: eww] not much. You were a little further away but it definitely it’s- and you can see there’s a lot of it. It definitely atomized a lot and it’s blowing through the crowd and you see a couple of officers drop attention and go eww.


[00:10:50] – Steven

Back on Osiron we’re proud of our trophy juice.


[00:10:54] – Cameron

[laughs] That’s disgusting.


[00:10:56] – Laura

Oh- I- uh- no. just no.


[00:11:01] – Nick

And that being said when you look at the gentleman in the white uniform he’s spotless none of it gets on him. Got some people around him. The guy decapitating it is about elbow deep in purple goop. But white clothes guy is clear. Speaking of him he walks over and says you’re new to the outpost. What brings you here? And he’s looking at Karma because she was the one who shot the thing but he- he addresses the group as a whole.


[00:11:34] – Steven

-uhh-…[Cameron laughs] -uh-.. We had a issue with our astrogation system and ended up here and then tried some of your fine ales


[00:11:46] – Nick



[00:11:47] – Cameron

I think that was straight up an issue with you as an astrogation system not the ship’s.


[00:11:51] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I don’t believe so.


[00:11:54] – Nick

Well I was out in the jungles so I didn’t see as much but I’m sure we’ll be able to look at our orbital observation post and see what went wrong. Maybe we can help with your ship.


[00:12:04] – Steven

Absolutely, -uhh-


[00:12:06] – Cameron

Like I said sir [Steven: the trees just came out of nowhere] I don’t- I don’t think it was the ship. I believe it was him she says looking at Sabos pointedly.


[00:12:15] – Steven

Nah- It was the trees.


[00:12:16] – Laura

It was definitely him.


[00:12:19] – Steven

Well he looks very comfortable watching you guys kind of snipe at each other. And he says Well either way I’ll have someone look at it and he waves a hand and you see a couple of people from the back.


[00:12:29] – Steven

Oh -uh- you- you don’t need to do that. -uh- I think we got it all taken care of.


[00:12:34] – Nick

Oh no no I insist. And a couple of- they look like Imperial engineers start heading out of the outpost.


[00:12:41] – Steven

If [Laura: Xianna-] you could just look at that back of the ship that the rudder thing that would be great. Don’t go in a ship.


[00:12:47] – Laura

Xianna’s kind of like surreptitiously padding her pocket to be like OK. I do have this. That means it’s not on the ship for them to accidentally find.


[00:12:58] – Nick

Was there anything specific you- you wanted to make sure it was in your pockets.


[00:13:01] – Laura

All my drugs.


[00:13:02] – Nick

All your drugs?


[00:13:03] – Laura

All of them.


[00:13:04] – Nick

OK great. Yeah. I would imagine most of your drugs are in your coat. You did hide some stuff around the ship last episode. Where did you?


[00:13:13] – Laura

Oh I hid the weird mask thing in a box. [Nick: -mmhhm-] I don’t think I actually hid that. I think that was just sitting on a shelf. I was looking [Cameron: you found a lot of hiding spots] for hiding places.


[00:13:23] – Nick

So there’s some stuff sitting out and most of your like…very obviously illegal things are on your person.


[00:13:29] – Laura

I would say all of them just, except the mask that’s in a box and the -uh- decanter of whiskey that is now empty on the floor.


[00:13:38] – Nick

  1. This guy watches you kind of talking back and forth he watches the engineers start heading towards the ship he basically just ignores your protests and says Make sure you give it a full sweep and they- they run off and as you’re talking he’s like scratching at one of his little head horns because he’s a Zabrak. So he has like a ring of devil horns which are neat looking and says So you must be here looking for someone. No one comes to Unroola Dawn looking to sightsee.


[00:14:08] – Hudson

Until us!


[00:14:11] – Nick

Rrriiiight [Cameron: just-]


[00:14:12] – Laura



[00:14:13] – Steven

As you can tell-


[00:14:14] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] I feel like that’s a deception check.


[00:14:16] – Laura

Sight seeing. [Hudson: yeah! you wanna do it?] Zat is what we are doing.


[00:14:19] – Nick

Yes I would love a deception check from Tink, that-


[00:14:21] – Steven

As you can tell our friend Tink hasn’t seen places like these.


[00:14:25] – Nick

This is going to be a red and two purples.


[00:14:28] – Laura

You [Hudson: oh noooo] don’t have deception! [group laughs] [Steven: mother fucker] And you’re not very cunning.


[00:14:33] – Hudson

[overlapping Laura] No, I’m not very cunning. Oh this is-


[00:14:35] – Laura

You are just smart.


[00:14:36] – Nick

Wait hang, on let me see. Deception would be probably were- against perception right.


[00:14:42] – Cameron



[00:14:43] – Nick

What is his perception? Oh you’re lucky it’s actually!


[00:14:47] – Hudson

Is it actually a perception check?


[00:14:50] – Cameron



[00:14:50] – Nick

So it’s just- no it’s-


[00:14:51] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] your- your deception goes against his perception


[00:14:54] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] It’s just three purple. He’s actually not trained in perception.


[00:14:55] – Hudson

Oh great.


[00:14:57] – Cameron

All right three purples. OK, cool. [dice sounds]


[00:15:00] – Nick

But flip a darkside point. Go ahead and upgrade one of those.


[00:15:03] – Hudson

To a red?


[00:15:03] – Cameron

To a red.


[00:15:05] – Nick

There we go. Same rule [dice sounds]


[00:15:06] – Multiple Speakers



[00:15:11] – Hudson

Two successes.


[00:15:13] – Cameron



[00:15:14] – Laura

No those cancel out.


[00:15:15] – Hudson

oh wait- with those yeahyeahyeah.


[00:15:17] – Cameron



[00:15:17] – Cameron

A failure and despair.


[00:15:19] – Hudson

A failure and despair. So before anything can happen I try to save it by saying just kidding. [group laughter]


[00:15:27] – Nick

So he looks at you and you get the feeling- he still is smiling at you. He seems very friendly and welcoming but you totally understand that he does not believe your bullshit in the slightest. He’s been here for a while and he understands that. -uh- But with the despair…


[00:15:45] – Laura

And also Xianna knows that Tink has just messed up so badly that she doesn’t even hide it and she sighs and like puts her hand on her head just like [sighs] ahhhhh


[00:15:58] – Hudson

So that happens. So that helps with the despair and he looks back and forth to the four of you and goes Oh smugglers, great! and he starts to walk away towards the large building that you saw previously that’s made of wood. Nice. The mansion he says Well you might as well come and have a meal with me because we probably got some talking to do most smugglers talk to me at one point or another. And he walks away without saying if you’re going to follow him but you also noticed that the locals and still a pretty good amount of Stormtroopers are all just staring at you to see what you’ll do.


[00:16:35] – Laura

Oh Xianna heard [Cameron: I follow him] food and is following him and going  like excuse me. What kind of food?


[00:16:41] – Nick

Well the cooks here are a little barbaric. They do tend to prefer open flame but they make quite a good roast Kersten’s beast.


[00:16:50] – Steven

Oh I’m- I’m down. Yeah. Especially having shot the Kersten’s beast myself.


[00:16:55] – Nick

Yes. Clearly you did it.


[00:16:57] – Cameron

Oh my gosh you shot it once it was dead.


[00:17:00] – Steven

It- I’m not sure how you know it was dead. I mean it was right at your feet when I shot it.


[00:17:04] – Laura

Ze light ‘ad gone out to its’ eyes. Zat is [Steven: not sure about eye light on Osiron] ‘ow we know it was dead.


[00:17:12] – Nick

He -uh- [Cameron sighs] The guy stops and turns around and hearing that the light had gone out of its eyes and he says you seem like my kind of person. By the way my name is Falx, Falx Urnstad. I’m one of the vice governors of this planet. This outpost is mine. And it’s great to meet you. And he holds out a hand to shake. Specifically to Xianna.



Oh Xianna absolutely shakes it, winks and says I am Serene.


[00:17:37] – Nick

Well great to meet you Serene and he throws an arm over you and just starts gesturing towards [Laura: yup] the mansion and says Come along I’ll give you the grand tour and he smells like sandal wood


[00:17:50] – Laura



[00:17:51] – Nick

Yeah. It’s nice and the uniform is very soft. Normally they’re like that institutional fabric that holds up very well. This one’s not. This one is like synth-silk and…


[00:17:59] – Laura

Yeah this guy definitely seems like he has a nice like cashmere silk blend going on.


[00:18:05] – Hudson

Everything Xianna would fall for.



Oh yeah Xianna has a very low bar.. [Hudson laughs]  for what- what “falls for” is.


[00:18:15] – Hudson



[00:18:16] – Laura

That was how words work.



[Steven: Oooh] Mildly interested


[00:18:21] – Cameron

So as I’m following Xianna and dude guy I’d start cleaning the bug mist guts off of my gun.


[00:18:30] – Hudson

Whatwas his name again?


[00:18:31] – Nick



[00:18:31] – Steven

Falx Urnstad


[00:18:33] – Hudson

F-A-L- [Nick: Falx] X?


[00:18:33] – Nick

F-A-L-X Urnstad U-R-N-S-T-A-D and he’s a Zabrak.


[00:18:39] – Steven

I tell karma to wear the purple mist proudly.


[00:18:43] – Cameron

It’s going to rust my gun.


[00:18:45] – Steven

What type of crappy guns do you have…


[00:18:47] – Cameron



[00:18:48] – Steven

-on… where you’re from.


[00:18:50] – Cameron

Yeah. Yup, let’s- [group laughter] let’s continue this thread of conversation. Where am [Steven: let’s not] I from? Togrutan.


[00:18:55] – Steven

uh- Not Orsiron.


[00:18:57] – Cameron

That is correct.


[00:18:58] – Steven

Got ittt.


[00:18:59] – Cameron



[00:19:01] – Steven

The place where the Nautolans are from.


[00:19:03] – Cameron

Which is?


[00:19:04] – Steven



[00:19:05] – Hudson



[00:19:06] – Cameron



[00:19:07] – Steven



[00:19:08] – Cameron

No but I do like that one


[00:19:09] – Steven



[00:19:10] – Cameron



[00:19:11] – Nick

Closer. [group laughter]


[00:19:13] – Hudson

You are getting closer.


[00:19:16] – Steven

Dammit… Yup.


[00:19:17] – Nick

For the confused listeners at home the planet is called Glee Anselm.


[00:19:22] – Steven



[00:19:23] – Nick

It’s a happy planet.


[00:19:24] – Cameron

You don’t hear that! The GM says that!


[00:19:26] – Nick

The narrator booms [Steven: oh right] from the heavens Curious George style.


[00:19:29] – Laura

You don’t hear god! [Cameron: yeah I know!] You’re not important enough.


[00:19:34] – Nick

So as you get close to the mansion the two main double doors swing open. You see exactly what you were expecting to see. It’s extremely stereotypical. A large grand staircase, the rug over the stairs you would expect to be like red crushed velvet but instead its woven reeds. But the reeds are super fine so it’s still like a nice carpet and there’s wings going off in either direction. He leads you back around that behind the staircase and a servant opens the door. It’s very strange to see one of the local humans who are all basically Conan The Barbarian jacked and scary looking people wearing a formal imperial servant’s uniform, all like slim cut and it looks like he’s about to burst every single seam on this thing and he bows and pushes [background piano music] open the door and you see a long banquet hall with a very large table and there is one place sitting at the head on the far side. But as you watch you can see some Droids and one other person wearing servent gear. This one looks to be not a local. So someone that they must’ve brought with them setting four extra places. And he says well make yourself at home have some


[00:20:47] – Hudson

grey stuff?!


[00:20:48] – Nick

It’s delicious.


[00:20:49] – Hudson

All I can think of is be our guest the whole time you’re describing this.


[00:20:52] – Nick

And then he turns into a giant furred monster. No. [Cameron: no!] He says make yourself at home try some appetizers I’m going to go change into something a little more comfortable and I’ll be back. And he turns around and leaves, the large local servant is still holding the door and bowing graciously. But you see that he does not drop eye contact from you and is clearly waiting for you to enter the room.


[00:21:15] – Cameron

I enter the room and walk over the table where I assume there are white cloth napkins.


[00:21:19] – Nick

Oh yeah absolutely.


[00:21:20] – Cameron

I grab the one from one of the spots and finish cleaning my gun


[00:21:24] – Nick



[00:21:25] – Steven

I’ll follow her into the room keeping on my annoying her about like cleaning her gun.


[00:21:29] – Cameron

He- just keep suggesting planet names.


[00:21:31] – Steven

Yeah, that’s actually what I’m doing. I keep on guessing planet names where I think the Nautolans are from.


[00:21:35] – Nick

Hit me with a couple more.


[00:21:37] – Steven



[00:21:39] – Cameron



[00:21:40] – Steven



[00:21:42] – Laura

Zat is offensive.


[00:21:42] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I- I am not even going to respond to that one.


[00:21:47] – Laura

That is just offensive. You should stop right now.


[00:21:50] – Steven

The Wand Where People Don’t Like Purple Mist on Their Gun?


[00:21:53] – Laura

So most lands? [Cameron sighs]


[00:21:55] – Nick

So as you- as you all enter the room-


[00:21:58] – Hudson

Mos Eiseley? [group laughter]


[00:22:01] – Nick

As you- So you clean your gun using one of the tablecloths and one of the droids is a protocol droid says Oh my. And it takes it from you and scurries off to bring you a fresh napkin. Because now this one is gross and they can’t even imagine what that would be like. Why would you do that to my perfect napkins? And off it goes.


[00:22:16] – Cameron

Thought that was kind of the point of napkins.


[00:22:20] – Laura

Well for food not for weird


[00:22:23] – Cameron

Did you not hear that they were serving that beast?


[00:22:26] – Laura

Yes, but-


[00:22:27] – Cameron

It is food!


[00:22:28] – Laura

But like… If you came in covered in fish guts and zen use the napkins to wipe away ze fish guts zat would be a little different zan if you’d used ze napkin to wipe away ze cooked fish [Cameron: cooked fish guts?] off your mouth. No, you don’t eat ze guts… all the time. I do not know. I do not zink zere are fish on Ryloth. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of fish.


[00:22:48] – Nick



[00:22:48] – Laura

It’s mostly a desert planet. So I’m assuming very little.


[00:22:51] – Cameron

What about land sharks?


[00:22:53] – Laura

I mean…. -eh- you grind zat stuff up into like a sausage zen it is different.


[00:23:00] – Nick

So are you all sitting or are you standing near the table what are you guys doing?


[00:23:03] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] Xianna is going to sit next to the head chair. And she looks at everyone she’s like I am going to milk zis. Yes. He seems to like me. I’m going to us zis. Okie? Good.


[00:23:16] – Hudson

Think that’s a little TMI that you’re going to milk him. [group laughter]


[00:23:19] – Laura

Well I mean… Zabraks do seem to be mammalian. Sooo… I could but nnn- Oh Oh oh! you mean- okiee…. Maybe. [group laughter] We will see. We will see.


[00:23:35] – Cameron

Karma slings her gun back around to her back and then sits in the other seat next to the head seat so that one of the boys doesn’t sit there.


[00:23:42] – Steven

Yes Sabos just kind of stands in the background.


[00:23:45] – Nick


[00:23:45] – Hudson

I sit next to Serene.


[00:23:47] – Nick

Hey good job!


[00:23:48] – Hudson

I’m picking up on it.


[00:23:49] – Nick

Sabos, than you would notice first a small astromech droid you know, like R2 D2 or I5 D7 or anyway a small astromech droid with a table hat like they have in the movie on R2 rolls up and it’s got a ring of drinks along the outside they’re all in tumblers. You see some whiskey and you see a bunch of various like tropical looking mixed drinks and then in the middle there are three square bowls and inside there’s little diced up bits of meat with toothpicks in it. You can make a perception check about that if you want.


[00:24:24] – Steven



[00:24:25] – Nick

Because it bumps you in the back of the knees because you were the one still standing up and it’s offering you stuff.


[00:24:30] – Steven

How hard is it?


[00:24:32] – Nick



[00:24:33] – Steven

Oh wait. Actually I want [dice sounds] one of those. That would be one purple?


[00:24:36] – Nick

Yeah just one purple. [dice sounds]


[00:24:41] – Cameron

Three successes and a triumph


[00:24:41] – Steven

[overlapping Steven] Three success and- yeah one triumph.


[00:24:43] – Nick

So you notice off of that platter that this bowl is furry on the outside and with your triumph you realize this is probably like one of those dishes where they cook the meat inside of the animal they got it from. But you see that this creature was like cooked in its own juices and then prepared but it looks good.


[00:25:05] – Steven

Yeah I take a bowl and the- the glass of wh-


[00:25:07] – Nick

Oh- you take the- the whole bowl? The bowl’s [Steven: yeah, just-] like- Okay.


[00:25:10] – Steven

Ah- I- Oh is it like toothpicks already in the cut up meat?-


[00:25:12] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] Yeah there’s toothpicks in the stuff.


[00:25:13] – Steven

Oh, then I’ll grab like a couple of toothpicks. [Nick: Okay] And a glass of whiskey.


[00:25:16] – Nick

Yeah. And with three successes and a triumph like it looks good. [Steven: Yeah] it looks like you probably don’t want to think about it too much but it looks tasty.


[00:25:23] – Hudson

No [Laura: I’m-] poisoning today!


[00:25:25] – Laura

I’m sure tribbles taste fine.


[00:25:27] – Nick

So you grab.. it’s-not-a…


[00:25:29] – Laura

You said a round bowl that was furry and I am immediately [Nick: no it’s a square bowl!] thought- ohhh a square. Okay so they pressed a tribble. [group laughter]


[00:25:35] – Cameron

So it’s a square tribble.


[00:25:36] – Laura

I imagine that if you open-


[00:25:38] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] What’s the duck thing… where you squish the duck and it makes-


[00:25:40] – Laura

Oh! A- It’s like literally translates to pressed [Cameron: pressed] duck.


[00:25:44] – Nick

Oh, well pressed Tribble. Great. The astromech makes its way around the table and you all see that you can roll that same perception check if you want. I’ll say if you want to figure out that it’s weird you can you will all notice that the bowl is furry. -umm- so it’s up to you.


[00:26:01] – Steven

I just start-


[00:26:01] – Hudson

[overlapping Steven] I want to check it out. [dice sounds]


[00:26:02] – Steven

Definitely chewing on the meat.


[00:26:04] – Hudson

I definitely care


[00:26:06] – Laura

A success and two advantages.


[00:26:08] – Nick

So yeah you see that the bowl is furry and that it looks reasonably tasty and you notice that these are imperial issue toothpicks. They were not made here.


[00:26:17] – Laura

Do they have like the little gear imperial symbol on them? [Cameron gasps]


[00:26:20] – Nick

Yeah like burned in to the sides [Cameron: nicceeee]. Yeah, [Laura: I got-] very fancy


[00:26:24] – Cameron

Karma got 3 successes.


[00:26:26] – Nick

So you notice not that it was necessarily cooked in its own juices but like this is not a normal bowl. This is pretty organic.


[00:26:32] – Hudson

One advantage, a success and a triumph.


[00:26:33] – Nick

You notice all that stuff. So you know that they like obviously killed this thing. Drained it out and just cooked it in its own juices and then made it prepared so it didn’t look gross.But…


[00:26:43] – Cameron

Many of us in our past lives had a culinary career.


[00:26:46] – Hudson



[00:26:48] – Nick

Yeah. -uh- Probably.


[00:26:50] – Cameron

Or were just foodies. We all have food blogs.


[00:26:52] – Steven

Being a fringer I’m experienced with the cooking animals in their own juices.


[00:26:57] – Cameron

That makes sense, actually.


[00:26:58] – Steven

It does. [Laura: hmmhmm yeah] [group laughter]


[00:27:00] – Laura

Imma say, like I’m probably okay with it. I’m sure Ryloth is mostly roasted meats. Also I’m going to take the girliest looking drink that’s there and I bet it has like a weird frilly name like a Scarif sunrise or something.


[00:27:13] – Nick

Okay. Describe scarif sunrise.


[00:27:15] – Laura

Okay. A Scarif Sunrise is green on the bottom then orange and then yellow.


[00:27:25] – Nick

Does it come in a special glass. Is there a sunrise glass in the Star Wars universe.


[00:27:29] – Laura

Yeah like a champagne goblet.


[00:27:32] – Hudson



[00:27:32] – Hudson

So -um- this is probably a good time to mention that Tink had a vegan period but it was only in college to impress a girl so I know a lot about food and mostly about how- if food has animals in it or not but not about animal cooking.


[00:27:46] – Nick

Okay that’s- that’s important to know and I’m sure it will come up again. You have busted open the meta plot already. Good work.


[00:27:54] – Hudson

Thank you.


[00:27:56] – Nick

So around this time you guys are eatingggg… appetizers?


[00:28:01] – Multiple Speakers



[00:28:02] – Cameron

I grabbed one toothpick and tasted it and was like OK this is all right.


[00:28:06] – Nick



[00:28:06] – Cameron

And I’ve just been nibbling.


[00:28:08] – Nick

So you’re snacking.


[00:28:09] – Cameron

I did not grab a drink though.


[00:28:11] – Nick

Okay. The astromech droid is basically doing laps of the table. Astromechs, you guys know they’re intelligent they’re smart. It’s not like a Roomba like this thing is just straight up like it told me to serve the room I’m serving the room [Laura: They are] They’re kind of-


[00:28:26] – Laura

So murderous.


[00:28:27] – Nick

Yeah. It- It- You get a very petulant like. Obviously it is following the exact letter of whatever its instructions were and it’s driving around and around this time -uh- Falx re-enters and he’s wearing an entirely different outfit. He’s wearing a blue tunic with like a purplish blue over rap giant scarf poncho thing and like floaty pants


[00:28:49] – Cameron

Thats a lot of words.


[00:28:51] – Nick

Yeah well it’s like a scarf but also bigger and also kind of a poncho. It’s like an extra shirt


[00:28:56] – Cameron



[00:28:57] – Nick

It’s very… You all would know it’s very Corascant-y maybe a little Aldaran-ian thrown in. It’s very high class clothes lots of extra fabric. But he walks in and says well. Seems that you’ve already been enjoying my hospitality. I’d like to welcome you again to outpost 4 and he starts to walk by and the astromech runs into him and he looks at it and for just a second you see like his pleasant exterior drop and he looks a little scary. He looks a little derisive and you see him kind of shove the astromech away and it almost drops its drinks and has to drive very quickly to catch them and it beeps at him. Doo dittly doo doo doo doo. And it drives out of the room and he sits down and it’s like that never happened and he looks really happy he says So let’s talk. Smuggling huh. What brings you to my humble backwater residents?


[00:29:47] – Steven

-uh- You did… sir.


[00:29:49] – Nick

Well yeah. If you’re going to be nitpicky about it but I mean what brings you to Unroola Dawn?


[00:29:55] – Steven

I just saw the trees.


[00:29:55] – Cameron

oh god [Laura sighs] [group laughter]


[00:30:00] – Nick

So if anyone would like to if you want to make a knowledge underworld or a knowledge core worlds?


[00:30:09] – Laura

We’ll do knowledge underworld.


[00:30:11] – Hudson

I can underworld as well. [Steven whispers: yeah whatever]


[00:30:12] – Laura



[00:30:13] – Nick



[00:30:14] – Cameron

Okay I’m rolling core worlds because it’s the exact same check for me so I’mma be different.


[00:30:19] – Nick

Okay. [dice sounds]


[00:30:24] – Cameron

Just a threat


[00:30:26] – Steven

I’ll roll underworld. [dice sounds]


[00:30:30] – Hudson

Four successes and 2 threats.


[00:30:35] – Laura

I had one advantage.


[00:30:37] – Steven

I have two failures and an advantage


[00:30:38] – Nick

So everyone failed. [Steven: Yeah] except for Tink and we got a couple of advantages and a couple of threats in there.


[00:30:46] – Cameron



[00:30:47] – Nick

Okay so Tink you and your experience working as a underground hacker and some things like that have a pretty good sense for when people are trying to get someone to work for them or like a broker or a job-giver-outer and this guy is doing a lot of those same things you feel like having interacted with the Empire before… he wouldn’t have invited you to dinner if he was on the straight and narrow. This guy’s got some stuff going on and he probably wants to help in one way or another. Anybody with advantages recognizes that his outfit is Aldaraanian like it’s very much an Aldaraan politicians outfit. Granted with some upgrades and very nice cloth so this is somebody who may see themselves as like a head of state kind of person. Who had threats?


[00:31:35] – Cameron

Me. [Hudson: me]


[00:31:37] – Nick

Did you succeed?


[00:31:38] – Cameron



[00:31:39] – Nick



[00:31:39] – Hudson

I succeeded with threats.


[00:31:41] – Nick

Tink with your threats. So you have a feeling that this guy probably wants to work with you or to actually help you because he could see himself getting an advantage from it. But you’re also getting very comfortable with that. Probably more so than you should being in the middle of an imperial outpost and then Karma you had a threat?


[00:31:57] – Cameron

Two threats.


[00:31:58] – Nick

Two threats no failures?


[00:31:59] – Cameron

It washed with two threats.


[00:32:02] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] With two threats. Okay. So with two threats. You’re just very into the ambiance right now. The architecture looks very familiar to you and your next perception check in this room you’re probably going to have a black eye because you’re having a lot of trouble focusing. So that’s all of those. He says So I often deal with people in your kind of situations and I may be able to help. If you could just tell me a little more about why you’re here.


[00:32:30] – Laura

So quick question do you ‘appen to ‘ave a box zat you were wanting to ‘ave transported? No reason.


[00:32:37] – Nick

Hmm. That is particularly vague. I like it. I have a lot of boxes. One might even say I specialize in moving things that the empire doesn’t have strongly stated opinions about.


[00:32:50] – Steven

Moving things the empire does NOT have strongly stated opinions about?


[00:32:55] – Nick

Right, things that if I asked may not be a great idea. But they haven’t ever specifically said and I get to keep my little home away from home in top shape.


[00:33:06] – Steven

I see.


[00:33:07] – Hudson

You might be able to help us then. So… we are having to move an item. So [Cameron: yes] I feel very comfortable with him so I say does the word Centennial mean anything to you? [group laughter]


[00:33:22] – Nick

You say Centennial and he’s already- So he had a space martini and he downed that one during the first part. He’s halfway through his second when you say that and he does a spit take -spit noise- centennial? No. You’ve


[00:33:37] – Cameron



[00:33:39] – Nick

Oh Sentinel. I was a little wrong about the smuggling thing. I am a little embarrassed you let me keep going with that for so long. But if you’re moving something for Sentinel yeah I’ve got something he told me to go ahead and get. Do you know where you’re bringing it?


[00:33:56] – Cameron



[00:33:58] – Laura

-Um- Zere was an issue at ze meeting. We did not get all of ze information also. Is ze drink droid coming back?


[00:34:07] – Nick

Yeah I can make that happen. And he snaps his fingers and the droid you hear really angry astromech tootling from behind the closed door. And as soon as it bumps into the door and the door swings open it turns into just like very low muted grumbling and it comes back around with a fresh thing of- of drinks. They were originally just around the outside of the platter. Now it fills the whole platter.


[00:34:29] – Laura

I definitely take a new one but my empty glass on top of it. And then I say zank you. And I boop the astromech just a little bit- just like a little -boop-. I’m like zank you.


[00:34:41] – Nick

The front panel on it opens up and one of those little shock arc welders comes out. -zzzap- and you hear -doo doo doo doo doo- and [Laura: ‘ow rude] Falx snaps his fingers and pulls out a remote with a button on it says don’t make me do this and it like goes -bRRRbrrrr- and drives away and makes jingle bell noises. It is not the nicest of droids but you have another drink. So now that we’re all further supplied with libations where are you taking this thing. It’s a pretty weird artifact.


[00:35:13] – Laura

Again when we do not know.


[00:35:15] – Nick

Oh yes


[00:35:16] – Laura

we are… winging it.


[00:35:18] – Nick

Probably a good choice, Sentinel tends to -uh- bring stuff only with half the information involved. You should have seen what I had to do to get this thing.


[00:35:27] – Cameron

You had to get it from Sentinel as well?


[00:35:29] – Nick

No, Sentinel’s- I thought was the guy who sent you h- Is he not?  And you see him like start reaching under the table.


[00:35:36] – Laura

No no no. He was.


[00:35:38] – Nick

Oh okay.


[00:35:39] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Just the way- Sorry just the way you phrased that sounded like the things I had to do to go through to get this. Because of the way Sentinel’s set stuff up it just sounded like he had also sent you to go get it.


[00:35:49] – Nick

Yeah that’s what happened.


[00:35:51] – Cameron

Okay that’s what I was asking, sorry.


[00:35:53] – Nick

[Overlapping Cameron] Yes. He sent me to go get it and I didn’t know a lot about what was going on. I still don’t but if you’re picking it up that means he probably sent you with some goods for trade and a bunch of credits right? He looks like very happy. He’s leaning back in his chair.


[00:36:07] – Cameron

I’m sure if we have anything your troopers will find it on our ship. We did take HIS ship. So any- there are cargo boxes on there right?


[00:36:19] – Laura

And Xianna is kind of like- gives a glance at Karma, of like “you don’t tell them we don’t have money, you always lie about having money” kind of a look and then like turns back to Falx.


[00:36:34] – Cameron

If Karma could she would raise an eyebrow at Xianna but I don’t think she has eyebrows.


[00:36:39] – Laura

And then once- I guess-


[00:36:41] – Cameron

So her eye triangle shifts slightly on one side.


[00:36:43] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] -Um- either a charmer or deception to look at me like oh no no no. We ‘ave- we ‘ave stuff… to trade. We have zings. I’m- I’m sure. Yes, we do.


[00:36:54] – Nick

All right. Yeah you can roll a….


[00:36:56] – Laura

Yeah would that be-


[00:36:56] – Nick

Whichever one


[00:36:57] – Laura

Charm or deception?


[00:36:59] – Nick

He likes you so you could use either.


[00:37:00] – Laura

Okay. Imma do deception, it’s a higher….


[00:37:02] – Nick

Okay. It will be two purples and flip me another Darkside point to make one of those- so it will be two purples and a red with the flip. [dice sounds]


[00:37:11] – Laura

Two advantages!


[00:37:15] – Nick

Mmm yeah. Anyway particularly you would like to spend those advantages?


[00:37:21] – Laura

-ummm- So even- I’m assuming he’s going to know that I’m- I’m lying. But I would like him to still like me and maybe have him give have there be an implication that even though we don’t have anything we are willing to work something out.


[00:37:38] – Nick

But the implication…


[00:37:38] – Laura

There’s an implication and Xianna is fine with however he takes that implication. [group laughter] [Cameron: oh goodness]


[00:37:47] – Nick

Okay so he- he kind of leans forward in his chair his smirk drops a little and he’s sets his now empty martini glass on the ground. The protocol droid walks out with a decanter of space martini and pours it for him and then shuffles away. There’s- it- so this takes about two minutes because those things walk really slow and he says nothing during that time. So it’s just a very awkward long pause. And he takes a sip and he says well you weren’t kidding when things got out of hand. This is highly irregular. I think we can work something out. I’ve- I’ve got some people I need tracked down and from-


[00:38:29] – Cameron

Karma perks up a little bit.


[00:38:31] – Nick

He notices that says the way you all have responded I think some of you may have some skills to help with that… so I’ll still give you the Stonebreaker, by the way it’s called the Stonebreaker, if you will go and get some deserters out of the jungle. Because I sent some people to go find them and they never reported back.


[00:38:55] – Cameron

How many deserters?


[00:38:56] – Nick



[00:38:57] – Cameron

How long have they been out?


[00:38:58] – Nick

About two weeks. But they can’t have gotten far.


[00:39:02] – Steven

Do you care if they come back alive?


[00:39:05] – Nick

Not particularly.


[00:39:06] – Steven



[00:39:07] – Nick

I just need them identifiable, examples, you know.


[00:39:10] – Hudson

What if we find a group that’s similar to them but not the same people but maybe even better.


[00:39:16] – Cameron

Tink, that is not [Laura: i do-] how bounty hunting works.


[00:39:18] – Laura

Zat is not ‘ow it works.


[00:39:20] – Hudson

I’ll– [Cameron: how many-] I’ll be honest I’m not as experienced in bount- in bounty hunting as these [someone loudly sighs] people.


[00:39:24] – Cameron

[overlapping Hudson] How many people did you send out after them?


[00:39:27] – Nick

  1. Just a small platoon. At Tink’s suggestion he like stands up and starts pacing back and forth at the head of the table saying two people, but better but not the same people. Interesting. Interesting.


[00:39:39] – Laura

Xianna [group laughter] like immediately like puts her like finger over Tinlk’s mouth, like Tink. -shhhhh- Do not talk anymore pleasseee.


[00:39:50] – Hudson

I crumple my face but don’t say anything


[00:39:53] – Laura

or over his little translater thing because he doesn’t have a mouth… visible. He has one, but…


[00:39:58] – Cameron



[00:39:59] – Nick

And he leans over puts his elbows on the back of his chair and says well there’s -uh- while that’s an interesting proposition. I think in this case I’m going to need the actual ones. But you keep in touch big guy, I like the way your brain works. At least I assume you have a brain.


[00:40:16] – Hudson

Yeah I got a brain, I like yours as well.


[00:40:18] – Nick

Thanks. He winks at you and around this time the Imperial and the local servant come in with some big trays of food. It all looks like it was cooked over a spit over an open fire it’s like turkey legs and big roasts and like charred vegetables and things but all the food looks mildly off putting like the turkey legs maybe have one little, little legs still stuck to it that they didn’t clean off like on a shrimp when they don’t quite clean it all, [Cameron: -hhmm] or the roast is by all intents and purposes upside down the way it shaped. Like the leg work backwards just things are slightly weird. The flora and fauna here, not great. All of the vegetables have thorns on them which is why they charge it so it could come off but you like you can see every once while there’s so like a spine that you’re going to have to peel off. But the food if you eat it is delicious. It’s very good.


[00:41:11] – Steven

I eat the food. I also inquire what that amazing appetizer was.


[00:41:16] – Nick

Oh that- that’s -uh-… over here we just call them monkey bugs.


[00:41:20] – Steven



[00:41:20] – Laura



[00:41:20] – Nick

Yeah. In the jungle you might see some of them. They’re -uh-… adorable little critters.


[00:41:26] – Steven

I look forward to trying to make some myself.


[00:41:28] – Nick

So yeah. So you pass through the rest of the meal just with pleasantries. He flirts with Xiana a decent amount but as far as you can tell he also flirts with Tink and he starts to flirt with karma and then I’m assuming that she shuts that down pretty hard.


[00:41:44] – Cameron

Yeah….She answers very politely whenever he tries to engage in conversation but then will just turn back to Sabos and just keep saying no to planet names. [group laughter]


[00:41:58] – Nick

So he gives up on that pretty- pretty quickly. You learn from him he’s been here for like 3 or 4 years at this point. He likes to be kind of the middle man with a lot of stuff- Nothing that’s hyper illegal but stuff that is kind of frowned upon because no one gives a crap about his little backwater station. He figures he’ll do what he can since his career is kind of dead ended and after the meal and everything is delicious and you’re full and he’s sipping on a snifter of dessert martini and there’s been plenty of drinks around he says well you won’t be able to set out at night. I’ll -uh- put you up in the guest corridors next to mine and -uh- there’s a separate building for you and I’ll have you meet up with Mills tomorrow. He’ll set up the expedition for you. He’ll- he’ll be your guide and he like makes a note on a data pad that he pulls out of a pocket under the table says so just when you wake up in the morning go find him in the square and I’ll have you escorted to the guest quarters and he stands up and leaves with a flourish of his cape scarf and the protocol droid from before walks in holding a clean napkin. This one looks very freshly laundered. He says Well if you’ll come with me I’ll show you to the guest quarters and he heads out the front door with that and -shhgg shhggg shhgg shhg shhhgg- super slow pace. It’s like getting stuck behind someone in a hallway that’s not walking as fast as you would want. It’s annoying.


[00:43:24] – Laura



[00:43:24] – Cameron

I follow.


[00:43:27] – Laura

I mean, yeah, we follow. But it’s just the annoying of like “eeehhhhhh”


[00:43:29] – Cameron

Tink’s having to take really small steps.


[00:43:34] – Hudson

Yeah I don’t like this pace.


[00:43:36] – Steven

I just take small footsteps and be like okay this’s cool.


[00:43:40] – Nick

So the building that they’re leading you to is shorter than most of the other ones. And it’s behind some of the taller buildings from where you were staying before so you didn’t see it, if you guys could make me a knowledge either lore, education, or core worlds check?


[00:43:57] – Cameron



[00:43:58] – Nick

Easy. [dice sounds]


[00:44:02] – Laura

One success, two advantages. [dice sounds]


[00:44:08] – Cameron

Two successes and a threat. [dice sounds]


[00:44:13] – Hudson

Oh my… three successes and two advantages. [dice sounds]


[00:44:25] – Steven

[Cameron snickers] A triumph, a succe- triumph and a failure.


[00:44:29] – Cameron

Yup, just a triumph.


[00:44:30] – Steven

So just a triumph [Nick: triumph].


[00:44:31] – Laura



[00:44:32] – Steven



[00:44:33] – Nick

So you all recognize this while everyone who passed recognizes this as a- uh-this is a prefab garden shed. This is not fancy at all. They called it the guest quarters but you can tell this is basically the Star Wars equivalent of that like plastic shed you can get at Wal-Mart so it’s made out of concrete, preassembled, a droid probably put it together in an afternoon. But with all of your advantages as you open it it’s actually quite nice on the inside. It doesn’t have any electricity or water but it doesn’t have cots like it was originally going to have. It has like really nice bunk beds with not prefab mattresses so something that the locals put together and seated in the middle of the room is a large like… heater… lamp. It’s basically like an electric campfire and it’s really pleasant and it’s a nice temperature and it glows nicely and as you open the door the sun begins to set below the trees behind you and you have a moment of peace. As the shuffling of the droid fades back into the distance you hear the- the shut of the door, the troops that have been marching around and doing drills in the square all head off towards their barracks and you can hear like things settling down for the night. It’s a weird moment of peace and you all realize that this is the first real pause you’ve had since you all received those communications a few days ago. Even when you were on the ship it was like tensing up for the unknown or being unconscious after being drunk for some of you. And this is a a quiet down moment before the next thing and you finally have some answers of what you’re doing. And it’s nice. So…


[00:46:16] – Laura

Xianna immediately yells top bunk! I got the top bunk!


[00:46:21] – Hudson

I get bottom bunk. And how much do I hang off the bed? [Laura laughs] Is this a double? Is this double long twin?


[00:46:27] – Nick

[overlapping Hudson] How- how tall how tall are you?


[00:46:30] – Hudson

I am [Nick: like seven feet ish?] [Laura: he is-] [Cameron: seven feet], yes seven feet.


[00:46:32] – Laura

He is two something metres so…


[00:46:35] – Nick

So it’s that awkward length where if you have your head all the way up to the top you’re like mid-calf down hangs off the back. So it’s not even enough that your knees can bend. Yeah. So you have a- a moment of quiet and you all realise that you don’t actually know much about each other.


[00:46:53] – Hudson

I know enough about everyone. Y’all go ahead.


[00:46:55] – Cameron

Can I make a perception check of the shed? [dice sounds]


[00:46:58] – Nick



[00:46:59] – Cameron

To try to see if there’s any recording equipment of any kind.


[00:47:02] – Nick

Sure you can.


[00:47:03] – Cameron

Like microphones? What would the difficulty be? [dice sounds]


[00:47:07] – Nick

You noticed that the shed is like really stripped down. So even with the nicer furnishings and everything the walls are bare concrete so it’s easy. [dice sounds]


[00:47:19] – Cameron

A success and two advantages.


[00:47:21] – Nick

Yeah so you do a quick sweep you don’t really find anything. The walls are pretty much bare there’s not really anywhere anyone would even be able to hide a bug. So you’re pretty sure this room is clear. So as people bed down for the evening and you have a nice moment of peace that’s where we’ll end it for this episode.


[00:47:40] – Nick

Episode 3- BADAAAAA


[00:47:42] – Multiple Speakers



[00:47:45] – Cameron

Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show PLEASE CONSIDER logging in to iTunes and giving us 5star you Viser of views will help listeners to find the show.



Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.



Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.



Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.



Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.




Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58.




Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter.




Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show.



Reach out. See you next time.



Word document download: Episode 2 New Kids On The Block – Tabletop Squadron

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Episode 2- New Kids On The Block

The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.

We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to



[00:00:00] – Intro Music


[00:00:18] – Nick

[guitar background music] Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron. A Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick your gamemaster. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Thanks for tuning in and we hope you enjoy. But before we get to the episode I have a quick note from Laura about some exciting developments.


[00:00:45] – Laura

Hello squadron this Laura here letting you know that we have some cool new artwork but we will only release it when we hit 10 iTunes reviews. Yes. We are holding our own artwork hostage. So please head over to iTunes and leave us a review, every review helps new people find us. So… leave us a 5 star review.


[00:01:17] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron episode 2. I’m here today with everybody let’s go around the table, introduce yourselves and say who you play.


[00:01:26] – Cameron

Hello I’m Cameron and I’m playing Karma.


[00:01:29] – Steven

I’m Stephen. I’m playing Sabos. Or if the rolls go well Councilman Sakko


[00:01:33] – Hudson

I’m Hudson and I’m playing Tink


[00:01:36] – Laura

I’m Laura and I’m playing Xianna.


[00:01:38] – Nick

Great. So when we last left off you guys had-


[00:01:41] – Cameron

Who are you?


[00:01:42] – Nick

I’m Nick


[00:01:43] – Laura

Who are [Nick: hi] you playing?


[00:01:43] – Steven

What do you do?


[00:01:44] – Nick

I’m- I’m in charge of [Cameron: what do you do here?]. I don’t- What do I do here? I think that’s a fair question. I’m everyone else, that’s- that’s what I do.


[00:01:52] – Nick

So all right so before we get started let’s do the destiny roll


[00:01:55] – Steven

yes let’s [dice sounds]


[00:01:57] – Cameron

two light side


[00:01:59] – Hudson

one black


[00:02:00] – Cameron

aww [snickers] dark side


[00:02:01] – Laura

one dark side [dice sounds]


[00:02:03] – Steven

one light side


[00:02:05] – Cameron

Alright yeah three light side, two dark side.


[00:02:07] – Nick

Great. Not too bad. Yeah. OK. When we last left off you… got a job from a mysterious hologram decided to work together for an exorbitant fee.


[00:02:19] – Nick

Were assaulted by stormtroopers in scary black armor got a ship called the Afternoon Delight, got into space, were attacked by a small star destroyer and made a jump to light speed with three failures.


[00:02:39] – Laura

I’m sure it’ll be fine-


[00:02:39] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] and one advantage


[00:02:41] – Nick

and one advantage


[00:02:43] – Laura



[00:02:43] – Hudson

we got [Cameron: an important-] that advantage [Cameron: -destinction] its- thats- that’s some blue dice we will need.


[00:02:49] – Nick

Yeah [Cameron laughing] All right so let’s get started. The camera starts at the back of the cockpit. It’s like that classic Millennium Falcon shot. So it’s looking over the shoulders. Who all is in the cockpit right now? You’ve been in space for like 12 hours at this point so you’ve had time to move around.


[00:03:06] – Laura

Xianna is sleeping.


[00:03:07] – Cameron

I’m in the cockpit and I have my feet up on the dash.


[00:03:10] – Steven

I, Sabos, am in the cockpit.


[00:03:12] – Hudson

I’m rolling my chance cube over and over again and taking down statistics [Cameron laughing]


[00:03:16] – Nick

In the cockpit or somewhere else on the ship.


[00:03:17] – Hudson

[overlapping Nick] Somewhere else on the ship.


[00:03:18] – Nick

  1. Are you doing it on the zero g relaxation bed?


[00:03:22] – Hudson

Yeah. Or actually is there a velvet couch or chair?


[00:03:25] – Nick

Oh absolutely. They’re all over [Hudson: I’m on-] the place [Hudson:I’m on one of them]


[00:03:26] – Laura

I’m assuming everything is velvet.


[00:03:29] – Nick

Yeah. Like that crushed [Hudson: everyone-] red velvet.


[00:03:30] – Hudson

Everyone’s [Laura: yeahh] been- been like picturing purple too, right?


[00:03:33] – Nick

No it’s red [Cameron: it’s red!]


[00:03:34] – Hudson

Oh, red.. velvet


[00:03:34] – Cameron

Like a dark movie theater red.


[00:03:36] – Hudson



[00:03:36] – Nick

You can [Laura: yeah] your- your quarters can be purple.


[00:03:39] – Hudson


[00:03:40] – Nick

It’s the purple room.


[00:03:41] – Hudson

I like to be different. Yeah. Ok purple room.


[00:03:43] – Nick

So your quarters let’s just talk about Tink’s quarters for a second. It’s an extra large bed that’s like sunk into a compartment on the wall. It’s a water bed mattress. The floor is all purple shag carpeting. The walls have that movie theater like it looks soft and you touch it and it’s kind of not, wallpaper but it’s carpet-y stuff and you’re sitting in a purple velvet couch over a gold and glass coffee table rolling your chance cube taking down statistics.


[00:04:15] – Hudson

Laura had a visceral reaction to you saying purple shag carpet [group laughter] no one actually see that.


[00:04:21] – Laura

I [Cameron- hard to hear chatter] mean it’s glorious


[00:04:24] – Hudson



[00:04:24] – Laura



[00:04:26] – Hudson

but, ehhgg


[00:04:26] – Nick

Tink likes it, it reminds him of home.


[00:04:28] – Hudson



[00:04:28] – Laura

ya know- I imagine-


[00:04:29] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] the planet of Gigoran by the way, just purple shag, the whole thing.


[00:04:34] – Laura

Purple shag everywhere


[00:04:35] – Nick

Which is a bummer because their fur shows up on it like really obviously


[00:04:39] – Laura

And it’s really hard to vacuum because of it.


[00:04:41] – Nick

Yeah. So you’re doing that. So the camera is just looking over Karma with her boots on the dash placed ever so carefully amongst all the buttons and dials and controls sticks that are on this.


[00:04:53] – Cameron



[00:04:53] – Nick

There is a big red button that says Do not touch and your- you’ve got your boot- the heel of it kind of wiggling back and forth while you’re humming to yourself and every time it gets really really close to this big red button. Sabos, have you noticed that?


[00:05:08] – Steven

I’m sure I know where I’m going.


[00:05:10] – Nick



[00:05:10] – Cameron

He’s not [Steven laughs] in the cockpit.


[00:05:10] – Nick

He said said he was-


[00:05:12] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] oh I’m in the cockpit. [Cameron: oh you are?] I’m very intently staring out the window because I definitely know where I’m going.


[00:05:16] – Nick

Okay. [Cameron: You realize-] so you’re very focused on that.


[00:05:19] – Steven



[00:05:19] – Cameron

You realize you don’t have to drive while it’s in hyperspace right?


[00:05:22] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I am sure I know where I’m going.


[00:05:24] – Nick

He’s looking [Cameron: cool, well-] for landmarks. [Steven laughs]


[00:05:26] – Cameron

The ship at this point is kind of doing it itself so.


[00:05:28] – Steven



[00:05:31] – Cameron

Alright, good talk.


[00:05:32] – Steven

haha yup


[00:05:32] – Cameron

ooh- during this time at some point I took out the data stick that I stole off the curly haired woman who attacked me and plugged into my -umm- data pad.


[00:05:44] – Nick

So I can [Nick: OoOoh] see what information was on it.


[00:05:46] – Nick

OK what information-


[00:05:47] – Cameron

‘Cause it can’t be tracked while I’m in hyperspace.


[00:05:49] – Nick

Oh yeah that’s true. Okay so from the data stick you learn that the bounty hunter that you tangled with on your way to this mission’s name was Bettany Boatthrower and that she is Corellian and she’s from Coronet originally and so there’s a lot of personal data on there, bounties that she’s taken in. She has one message from the bartender that you met, Jerfrederick Douglass, and he’s basically-


[00:06:15] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] yeah, my friend Freddy.


[00:06:15] – Nick

And your friend Freddy and he’s basically inviting her to the bar on that day for something unrelated and she happened to be there and then it’s… a lot of like business emails. Basically she’s a member of a like bounty hunting tip network. So her sending stuff out to get points and her spending points to get info on stuff. So that’s mostly what’s on there. Was there anything particular you were hoping for?


[00:06:40] – Cameron

I was mostly trying to figure out who she was.


[00:06:43] – Nick

Yeah, so


[00:06:44] – Cameron

Because I did not recognize her.


[00:06:45] – Nick

Yeah she’s pretty small time. And you don’t go to Corellia’s very often so if it’s someone who specializes in Corellia you probably wouldn’t know them. Oh- there’s a letter in there from someone that just says like Nana. And it says “I hope you enjoy the new blaster we saved up such a long time to get it for you”.


[00:07:04] – Cameron

Alright. Also at this point I don’t know that Tink rescued her.



Yeah. That hasn’t come up-


[00:07:09] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] and left her so… I feel a little bit better about having left her blaster where she can easily find it,.


[00:07:14] – Nick

-mhhmm- at the bottom of the canal?


[00:07:17] – Cameron

-Uhh- that she pushed me into. Yes.


[00:07:18] – Nick

  1. -uuh-


[00:07:19] – Cameron

She didn’t want it getting wet. She shouldn’t’ve pushed me into the canal.


[00:07:23] – Nick

So your flipping through this data stick getting information. Sabos is desperately looking for some sort of landmark in hyperspace that will-


[00:07:32] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I’m seeing all of them too. [group laughter]


[00:07:35] – Nick

Oh yeah I recognize that star“.


[00:07:36] – Laura

I don’t think he knows how hyperspace works.


[00:07:38] – Steven

Every landmark. [group laughter]


[00:07:39] – Hudson

Is he convincing himself or no [Steven: noo] one around him?


[00:07:44] – Steven

Yes. [Steven laughs]


[00:07:46] – Nick

And Tink is doing statistics research and -uh- Xianna is sleeping?


[00:07:52] – Laura

Yes she definitely picked a waterbed and-


[00:07:55] – Nick

-mhmm- well they’re all waterbeds.


[00:07:56] – Laura

Well they’re all waterbeds. But she made sure she picked a round one that will rotate [Nick: hmm] and I’m sure that there are gold pillows on it and if there aren’t mirrors on the ceiling I am leaving.


[00:08:09] – Nick

Yeah, no, there’s mirrors -uh-


[00:08:10] – Laura

Yeah there’s mirrors on the ceiling, probably like half the stuff in her pockets are just like thrown about the room. [Nick: Alright] right now, like already, like the weird mask in the box is sitting on a shelf though. She put that on the shelf. [Cameron: The decanter’s on the bedside table-] -uhh- and the Twi’lek totems are on the shelf. The decanter is already empty on the floor. The stopper’s gone… somewhere. Like, her scanner goggles are thrown on the floor and she’s probably like half in the bed? And like… at least one foot is hanging out of the bed.


[00:08:42] – Nick

Okay so I’m picturing her sprawled on her back unconscious one leg kind of dangling. There is a disco ball hanging from the ceiling [Laura: oh definitely] that’s spinning. There’s like-


[00:08:50] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] And it’s on.


[00:08:51] – Nick

There’s low jizz music playing and the bed is rotating so your foot occasionally will kick like [Laura: yeah] your boots or something on the way around. And then we do a quick flashback to when Xianna first walked into the room. What color scheme do you think the room is? Is it the- the red gold?


[00:09:04] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] I’m imagining the dark red and gold, [Nick: okay] like, just gold everywhere.


[00:09:12] – Nick

So Xianna walks, in the comforter on the bed is red and gold leopard print-


[00:09:16] – Laura



[00:09:17] – Cameron



[00:09:18] – Nick

Loth-leopard [Laura: it’s gotta be-] print I guess? [Laura: uhhhm] Space leopard. whatever


[00:09:21] – Laura

Some sort of space cat.


[00:09:21] – Nick

Yeah, space cat and she walks in and she looks around and she goes and she says outloud “if there aren’t mirrors on the ceiling I am leaving” and-


[00:09:30] – Laura

if zere are not mirrors on ze ceiling I am leaving.



Yeah. And you look up and you see mirrors and you [2 clap spounds] clap to yourself and then the disco ball comes down from the ceiling. [Cameron laughing]


[00:09:41] – Laura

Ooooh [Nick: and the bed starts-] zis is definitely my roooom! and I just like go [6 clap sounds] and I just like keep watching it like go up then go down. Then I leave it down and start throwing stuff everywhere.


[00:09:53] – Nick

Then it flashes back forward, does Xianna snore?


[00:09:57] – Laura

-Ehh- Probably not.


[00:09:58] – Nick

okay, to her just drooling slightly out of the side of her mouth while she’s asleep and-


[00:10:02] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] also you definitely described the low jazz music as low jizz music.


[00:10:05] – Nick



[00:10:07] – Multiple Speakers

[various, overlapping murmers] in Star Wars


[00:10:07] – Steven

oh is it really? [Nick: yeah] [Laura: it’s called jizz] ooh!



[group laughter] [group chatter]


[00:10:12] – Nick

Star Wars, yeah


[00:10:12] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] I mean, we all love some hot jizz.


[00:10:13] – Nick

If, so for anyone who isn’t way too into Star Wars, yeah jazz is called jizz music. Gotta get you some of that hot jizz whenever you’re listening to music in Star Wars


[00:10:24] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] We are gonna- We are gonna earn our explicit rating only by saying jizz 40 times a podcast.


[00:10:32] – Nick

So that’s- that’s what everyone is doing and -uhh- Tink, you and Xianna, Xianna comes awake as they feel the ship drop back into normal space. And -uh- I need a vigilance roll from Sabos right now. right now right now right now.


[00:10:49] – Steven



[00:10:49] – Laura

Xianna tumbles out of the bed and is like oh are we here?


[00:10:55] – Steven

[group chatter] -a hard vigilance roll?


[00:10:55] – Cameron

Can he have a blue die cause I’m copiloting?


[00:10:57] – Nick

Not on the vigilance roll, on the piloting check [Cameron: ok cool]


[00:11:00] – Steven

Is there a difficulty [Cameron: nope] associated?


[00:11:01] – Nick

-uuhh- yeah [Cameron: oh] average. ’cause you did say that you were sitt- yeah that’s good- you did say you were sitting up straight.


[00:11:11] – Cameron

Total wash.


[00:11:12] – Nick

-hmm- Great. Well that’s going to make this trick harder. So you drop out of hyperspace. By your calculations you shouldn’t have yet. You’re about 100 yards from a forest. [Cameron laughing] You are well within [background music plays] this planet’s atmosphere and you overshot a little bit and so you frantically grab the stick and try to pull up and Xianna, even with the inertial dampeners, which is really cool Star Wars thing where you don’t get turned into paste  when you turn too hard, you are thrown out of the bed and Tink your chance cube goes bouncing away from you and down [Hudson: noooo] the hallway of the ship. [group laughter]


[00:11:45] – Laura

I take it we are not zere.


[00:11:49] – Steven

-uh- There was a slight miscalculation. Everything is fine up here. You’re good.


[00:11:53] – Cameron

I can see trees [laughter]


[00:11:54] – Nick

and so you desperately [Laura: trees?] need [Cameron: trees!] to pull up so I need a hard pilot check.


[00:11:59] – Steven

It’s a planetary?


[00:12:02] – Nick

No, its still- planetary is -uh- planetary and space are the kind of vehicles you have. You are in a space ship. So it is space and [Steven: wonderful] you have a black die because you did not do well on your vigilance roll.


[00:12:14] – Steven

[whispers] wonderful. Hope this is going to be fine.


[00:12:15] – Cameron

can he have a blue die though


[00:12:17] – Nick

yes, you can have [Cameron: for the piloting check, ’cause I’m copiloting]  a blue die because… -uh- probably she has [Cameron: I- I removed-] kicked the stick-


[00:12:24] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] my feet from the dash very quickly when I saw trees.


[00:12:26] – Steven

Lemme just double check that I don’t have [muffled, hard to hear speech. most likely: anything] to help me out here. [dice sounds]


[00:12:32] – Nick

I’m really excited that Sabos is the pilot. You guys, this is great.


[00:12:36] – Steven

Yup, oop!


[00:12:37] – Laura

It’ll all be fine. [Dice sounds]


[00:12:38] – Nick

Look at this team. We’re gonna to do great.


[00:12:40] – Steven



[00:12:41] – Cameron



[00:12:42] – Nick



[00:12:42] – Cameron

Hold on..


[00:12:43] – Steven



[00:12:44] – Laura

I mean I see a lot of threats.


[00:12:45] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Hold up. Recalculating.


[00:12:46] – Hudson



[00:12:47] – Nick

You know how I like to spend threats you guys.


[00:12:50] – Laura

I see three.


[00:12:51] – Cameron

Okay so [Nick: yayy][Laura: oh boy] a success, three threats and a triumph.


[00:12:55] – Nick

huh… OK. It is a very Cameron type role. [Cameron: good job Steven] So the success you managed to pull up above the treeline, the triumph that thing that had been knocked loose from the ship snaps back into place. [Steven: Oh yes] -uh- It was a rear stabilizer that was going to make doing things very difficult until you figured that out and a little- I’m assuming Tink is probably jacked into the system diagnostics on his data pad right now. Like that’s what you do when you enter an area is just like connect to every network. [Hudson: yeah] So as that sounds back into place a little diagnostic pop up shows up on your data pattern as you’re like chasing after your chance cube and it’s rolling around in the hallway and it says like “rear stabilizer detached. temporary fix” and it shows you like exactly how to fix it. So all you have to go out there in like is go out there and weld something down and it’s good.


[00:13:45] – Hudson

Remind me to tell you all about a slight issue later.



-uh- So thats’s-


[00:13:50] – Laura

I zink we are having a slight issue right now.


[00:13:53] – Steven

No we are fine.


[00:13:54] – Hudson

[Overlapping Steven] This is not a- This is not a slight issue


[00:13:55] – Nick

So Xianna – Xianna, goes actually- as- with all the acceleration in the sudden change, she’s sliding down the hall and she slides past -uh- Tink with her arms crossed saying that. So that’s fun


[00:14:06] – Cameron

Proud of you Steven.


[00:14:08] – Steven

That was a good roll.


[00:14:08] – Nick

Yeah. Good job. And then the three threats. Hey guys guess what happens if you get three threats in Star Wars.


[00:14:13] – Cameron

You fall down


[00:14:14] – Nick

You fall prone! [dramatic bass noise] It’s my favorite thing ever. So you fall out of the chair.


[00:14:20] – Cameron

The ship falls prone. [dramatic bass noise]


[00:14:23] – Nick

No- not the ship! [Cameron laughing]


[00:14:24] – Laura

The ship falls down.


[00:14:24] – Nick

Sabos falls prone. [dramatic bass noise]


[00:14:27] – Nick

And the ship is actually very nice even if it’s a little tacky. And so as he falls out of the chair it senses no one’s in the pilot’s seat and gives you full control of the ship Karma.


[00:14:36] – Cameron

Oh goodness!


[00:14:37] – Nick

And with the acceleration to avoid hitting the trees he had to punch it. So as he falls backwards out of his chair he goes sliding off down the hall and into the rest of the ship. So…


[00:14:47] – Cameron

Alright I’ll just hang out in here.


[00:14:49] – Nick

And as you’re flying you get readouts of like local scanning and fauna. There’s some very big animals although you can’t identify what they are. And you see that the planet- well you would have seen from space if you had been in space. [Cameron giggles] But you can gather kind of from what you can see the planet is mostly large forest and there’s a lot of scrub bush and stuff everywhere but it’s mostly pine trees and things like that and not like Douglas fir pine trees it’s like the big tall ones that just have pine needles at the top. And -uh- you also see some lakes like some mega lakes scattered around. So Lake Erie sized give or take you imagine, because it disappears on the horizon. But the way it’s shaped you can see that it’s not an ocean.


[00:15:31] – Steven

As I slide down the hallway and past them I say “Hey guys, I came down here to tell you I think we’re here“. [group laughter]


[00:15:38] – Hudson



[00:15:40] – Nick

And at this point the inertial dampener has caught up and you guys are able to stand up and move freely about the cabin. You made it to the back by the wet bar.


[00:15:48] – Steven



[00:15:49] – Cameron

Karma says over the coms This is why we wear seat belts.


[00:15:53] – Laura

Ze ship ‘as seatbelts?


[00:15:55] – Cameron

Yep I’m wearing mine [Cameron snickers]


[00:15:57] – Laura

Zere were not belt in my bed. I checked.


[00:15:59] – Cameron

That does make sense. I was talking specifically about the pilot flying through the back.


[00:16:03] – Steven

[Overlapping Cameron] The captain’s chair did not have a seatbelt and so-


[00:16:05] – Cameron

It- it totally does! I can see it.


[00:16:08] – Steven

It was not attached.


[00:16:09] – Hudson

Were there [Cameron: well yeah. no duh ] restraints on the bed?


[00:16:12] – Laura

Noo. I checked for those. [group laughter] Zere were none.


[00:16:15] – Hudson


[00:16:16] – Steven

The important thing is we miss the trees. I mean the important thing is we are definitely at the planet.


[00:16:21] – Laura

Are we?


[00:16:22] – Steven

We’re at a planet. Aren’t we?


[00:16:23] – Cameron

[Overlapping Steven] Can confirm we are at a planet.


[00:16:26] – Nick

That sounds like a check doesn’t it.


[00:16:27] – Cameron

It does sound like a check.


[00:16:28] – Nick

Either astrogation- this is all Karma ’cause she’s the only one that’s nearby.


[00:16:33] – Cameron

I can see it.


[00:16:34] – Steven

I can’t look out the back window by the wet bar?


[00:16:35] – Nick

I mean you can see trees in a lake.


[00:16:38] – Steven



[00:16:38] – Nick

astrogation or knowledge outer rim.


[00:16:42] – Steven

Can I use outer rim with my trees [Cameron: ss-what’s the- ]and a lake?


[00:16:44] – Nick



[00:16:45] – Cameron

what’s- what’s the difficulty?


[00:16:47] – Nick

Average… you’re here and you have all the readouts of everything.


[00:16:49] – Cameron

Can I have a blue die from looking at the ships navi-computer?


[00:16:55] – Nick



[00:16:55] – Multiple Speakers

[hard to hear chatter]


[00:16:58] – Nick

so half [Cameron: -an idea of where we are?] of the navi-computer- half of the navi-computer readouts are just like question marks and “UNKs” and things because it was not expecting there to be a planet here. It had been assured that there was not a planet here when someone programmed it.


[00:17:15] – Cameron

-mmhmmm- [dice sounds] oh goodness.


[00:17:16] – Cameron

So… [Laura: ooooew] I fail with four advantages?


[00:17:21] – Nick

great. You don’t fall prone.


[00:17:23] – Cameron

Correct. I don’t think I would from a knowledge check.


[00:17:26] – Nick

How did you do Sabos?


[00:17:27] – Steven

So I have three threats [Cameron: also two-] two successes and two- so I have-


[00:17:31] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] Yes, you two threat- or one threat and two successes [Steven at the same time: two successes].


[00:17:34] – Nick

Okay so you know you’re definitely on Unroola Dawn. The threat is… you’ve been here before so that’s part of the reason you recognize it but some people may recognize you if you are unlucky [Steven: mhhmmm] and you had-


[00:17:47] – Cameron

Four advantages.


[00:17:49] – Nick

How do you want to spend the advantages. [Cameron: hmmmm] Four is a lot.


[00:17:53] – Cameron

We’re approaching the lake. There is a nice clearing to land the ship in. [Nick: mhhmm] What else?


[00:17:59] – Nick

So one of the advantages you can see that there is a settlement near the lake as well.


[00:18:04] – Laura

Yeah [Hudson: you can make the perfect cocktail] Does Tink have to fix anything with the ship? [group chatter]


[00:18:08] – Cameron

He’ll have to repair the dampener once we land.


[00:18:10] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] but it will be really easy to do.


[00:18:12] – Laura



[00:18:12] – Hudson

It’s not bad


[00:18:13] – Nick

[overlapping Hudson] It’ll take him like five minutes.


[00:18:14] – Laura

While we’re landing and I’m up, can I get an advantage for a skullduggery check to just check around the ship to see if there’s any cool hiding spaces?


[00:18:23] – Nick



[00:18:24] – Cameron

Yep I’ll give you a blue day.


[00:18:26] – Laura

Is there difficulty?


[00:18:27] – Nick

Probably hard, because if they are cool they’ll be hard to find right? Oh and one of your advantages can be spent on the navi-computer resets and you see that it’s outpost 4 which is where you were supposed to go. [dice sounds]


[00:18:40] – Steven

Oh we made it.


[00:18:41] – Nick

good work


[00:18:42] – Cameron

but you don’t know that- you can’t see it. [Steven laughing]


[00:18:46] – Laura

Okay so that’s 2 succ- no, 3 successes a threat, and a triumph.


[00:18:52] – Cameron

four successes.


[00:18:54] – Laura

Oh! four suc- [Cameron: the triumph as well] yeah, the triumph has a success in it.


[00:18:57] – Nick

Okay so with the triumph and all those successes, yeah there are several good hiding places. In fact one might say mechanically that one of the hard points on the ship is used up by smuggler compartments


[00:19:08] – Laura



[00:19:08] – Nick

yeah, rather than it being like floor panels or something there’s a lot of little nooks and crannies where things can go. There are some that are bigger for like big size stuff but there’s lots of small little stache-y hideaways. How many threats was it?


[00:19:21] – Cameron



[00:19:21] – Nick

So the threat is one of the places where you think is a hiding place is actually like a garbage disposal and you may accidently throw something out if you put it there.


[00:19:31] – Laura

oh, okay.



It looks like a hiding place but it’s got a little trap door-


[00:19:35] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] [in a foreboding voice] and you don’t know which one.


[00:19:37] – Nick

…yeah. So cool that may come up so you, karma, you see that you were approaching that open clearing by the lake and there is a settlement over there and it is outpost four, which is one of the things that you overheard your contact telling you you needed to visit


[00:19:54] – Cameron

Cool. I’mma go fly over to that clearing.


[00:19:57] – Nick

Okay you’re going to land?


[00:19:59] – Cameron



[00:20:00] – Nick

So that takes probably like five or six minutes to come in. No one comms you. There doesn’t appear to be air traffic control or anything you can just come in for a landing. What are you guys doing during that five or six minutes everybody but karma.


[00:20:12] – Hudson

Getting my tool kit together.


[00:20:13] – Nick



[00:20:14] – Laura

Putting my shoes, on picking [Cameron laughing] my stuff up and then looking around the ship. I’m probably like looking for the compartments like as I’m putting shoes on and stuff so I’m just like walkin’ around like putting shoes on like poking panels.


[00:20:26] – Nick

-hmm- Ok


[00:20:27] – Steven

I’m taking a drink. Very happy with myself. I didn’t crash in the trees.


[00:20:30] – Nick

OK what Sabos’s drink of choice?


[00:20:32] – Steven

Corellian whiskey.


[00:20:33] – Nick

OK the wet bar is not as well stocked as you would expect.


[00:20:36] – Steven

I’m sure it has some Corellian…


[00:20:38] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] the- so it has some whiskey it has some space gin it has like some of the main stuff it doesn’t really have any mixers and most of the bottles are only like a quarter full. So it’s like this ship was taken on a pretty long journey and then never restocked.


[00:20:54] – Hudson

doesitave a White Gigoran in it? It’s a white russian with hair


[00:21:01] – Multiple Speakers

Eww [group snickers]


[00:21:01] – Nick

So you [Steven- hard to hear chatter] have the hair to supply. There is some space BalBailey’s but it’s not refrigerated so it’s kind of sour.


[00:21:09] – Hudson

Get my tools together anyway. Don’t need a drink before a job.


[00:21:12] – Nick

Cool. So -uh- Sabos is just leaning against the bar looking out the back window acting like nothing ever went wrong everything is great.


[00:21:18] – Steven

Everything went to plan and we’re on a planet.


[00:21:20] – Nick

Yeah. So [Steven laughs] you can see that outpost 4 is a large camp settled in the wilderness of Unroola Dawn. It has a ring of durasteel walls around it that slope inward and you can see the tops of prefabricated buildings peeking over the wall you can see several imperial shuttles and a couple of civilian ships parked in the clearing outside. There is a large automated gate on one side. It’s like a… a sliding flat door that has overlapping triangles that go across and you can see that the settlement is pretty plain. It has dirt roads and most of the buildings are like one story and square and they’re arranged in kind of concentric circles around the middle of the settlement where there is a larger building. That’s about all you can tell before you settle into a landing. So. You have landed. Congratulations, you did not die. This is good.


[00:22:09] – Cameron

Karma [Hudson: I whi-] like slowly peels her fingers off of… [group laughter] like- the controls and like rolls her neck and stretches like “Okay that was stressful“. Which you all hear because the ship’s comms are on.


[00:22:22] – Laura

Yeah Xianna looks over at Sakos and is like “do you actually know ‘ow to fly?”


[00:22:30] – Steven

we’re on a planet aren’t we?


[00:22:32] – Cameron

He flew alright. It’s the astrogation checks I’m not so sure of.


[00:22:36] – Steven

I might have overshot the- well here’s what happened. You remember that orbiting destroyer thing that was just such a problem.


[00:22:45] – Laura

You mean…


[00:22:45] – Cameron

that left?


[00:22:47] – Laura

the ship?


[00:22:48] – Steven

I decided to skip the orbit this time. Boom.


[00:22:51] – Laura

I do not zink zat [Steven: we just went right on it] is a good zing. I zink zere’s a reason zat ships usually stop zat.


[00:22:59] – Nick

I want to flip a darkside point and Xianna you, you’re still talking a big game but you’re genuinely unsure if he did it on purpose or not. [Steven and Laura laughing] You probably wouldn’t be thrilled to see him piloting but also you think maybe he’s good at it. You’re not sure.


[00:23:16] – Laura

Oh no. I’m going to let him pilot again. I’m just like almost legitimately concerned if like is that actually how that is? [overlapped, hard to hear speech] I know but like does it?? [group laughter]


[00:23:30] – Steven

We just orbited the trees instead.


[00:23:32] – Hudson

Can I look out? I was about to like get my tool bag, whistle a tune and go out there to fix the thing. But can I do a perception check to look and see if anyone’s around the ship?


[00:23:42] – Nick

Sure. It’s pretty easy. In fact I would say it was easy.


[00:23:48] – Hudson

Oh nice.


[00:23:49] – Steven

How convenient. [dice sounds]



I’m really excited about how many of our- our characters are trained in perception in this game.


[00:23:56] – Hudson

One success


[00:23:57] – Nick

So you can see this is the equivalent of like concert parking. So it was it was a grass field. It’s all kind of beaten down, the grass is mostly dead but it’s not muddy because of the thatch effect and there’s not really anyone around the ships, the civilian ships appear to be to have their own onboard security systems, the imperial shuttles are all folded up but over by the gate you can see that there are two storm troopers standing guard.


[00:24:26] – Steven

What are they dressed him?


[00:24:28] – Nick

It’s the forest cammo ones from Endor. [Laura: OOoooO] So they’re like the scout troopers with those stupid visors that make it so they can’t see. it’s the black body suit and then the armor panels are all like the spray painty cammo.


[00:24:40] – Hudson

So I walk off the ship and go to the back to fix the- what do I fix?


[00:24:44] – Cameron

the dampener


[00:24:44] – Steven

horizontal stabilizer


[00:24:46] – Nick

The- the rear stabilizer. You guys were all close.


[00:24:48] – Hudson

I walk off of the ship to fix the rear stabilizer.


[00:24:51] – Nick

  1. So you climb down the scouts the scout troopers see you make like the tap on the side of the visor hand gesture that they’re acknowledging that you’re there and it’s aimed towards you and each other and they don’t mess with you. They just kind of stay put.


[00:25:06] – Hudson

I do a similar action back.


[00:25:08] – Nick

You tap [Hudson: tap- tap on the side of my head] on the side of the head and they just kind of ignore you and go back to their thing. They look bored which is weird for storm troopers. Well have you ever interacted with Storm Troopers before, besides being shot at by them a second ago?


[00:25:19] – Hudson

Yeah. I mean off and on, just that nothing ever- never been like arrested by them I don’t think.


[00:25:26] – Nick

  1. So if you’ve ever seen them walk by doing their tour de force thing they’re almost always at extreme attention. They’re always like really focused and emanating scary aura. These guys are like leaning against the wall and look bored.


[00:25:40] – Hudson

I kind of want to go play hacky sack with them but I suppress that urge to go fix the ship. [group laughter]


[00:25:45] – Nick

  1. So you swing around to the back of the ship and there are two tall fins on the back and one of those was obviously at an angle and this kind of bent back you figure if you take this wire and connected it here and if you spot weld this piece it’ll be fine like not even a patchwork job. It’ll just be good it’ll be solid. So you climb up there and make me a mechanics check. This one’s easy.


[00:26:08] – Hudson

Yayyy. So I’m- I’m pretty good on mechanics. [dice sounds]


[00:26:13] – Nick

You say to yourself. [group laughter]


[00:26:14] – Hudson

I’m just holdin’ the wrench like yeah man, I’m doing good job. [Dice sounds] Three advantages.


[00:26:23] – Nick

Okay so it’s not fixed. You realize that you’re out of -uh- fluid for your welder torch. It will last for a while. Like it’s mostly good. This was just preventatory maintenance so it doesn’t break again basically. And your advantage is one of your advantages is that the storm troopers see you doing that and see your tool kit and they make note that you’re someone who’s good at mechanics. They overheard you say that like “huh cool“. [group laughter]


[00:26:51] – Hudson

He talks to himself.


[00:26:52] – Laura

[mimicing a stormtrooper] Hey he’s good at mechanics.


[00:26:54] – Nick

[using a stromtrooper voice mod] Hey, that guy’s good at mechanics. Maybe we’ll have a job for him.


[00:26:58] – Hudson

Yeah That’s it for me.


[00:26:59] – Nick

Okay you…


[00:27:00] – Hudson

I go back into the ship after I’m finished. Cool. So what are you all doing?


[00:27:06] – Hudson

I let them know that there’s two storm troopers by the door so anyone should kind of give up if they’re wanted across the galaxy. Now


[00:27:12] – Multiple Speakers



[00:27:15] – Laura

is anyone wanted specifically on zis planet?


[00:27:20] – Cameron

I’ve never been here before.


[00:27:21] – Laura

I don’t zink I am.


[00:27:23] – Steven

I’m not.. I’m not wanted on this planet.


[00:27:26] – Hudson

I’ve never even heard of Unrooly Dooly so I haven’t been here


[00:27:28] – Laura

[overlapping Hudson] well actually


[00:27:29] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Yooou Sabos? Or you Sako?


[00:27:30] – Laura

Yes. You seem to have two different names. I’m not really sure which is which soo.


[00:27:33] – Cameron

You [Steven: I-] first introduced yourself as Sabos.


[00:27:37] – Steven

I Sabos-


[00:27:37] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] the mysterious voice thought you were Sako.


[00:27:40] – Steven

I Sabos am not wanted on this planet. I think I’ve been here to try to establish some trade routes.


[00:27:45] – Laura

Are you sure? You don’t seem sure.


[00:27:46] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] that would be how you knew the hyperspace route so well.


[00:27:51] – Steven

Yeah [Cameron: hmm] I came in from a different side this time I am used to coming from Osiron you see


[00:27:55] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] yeah the- the planet placement depending on which side you come at can really impact the [Steven: East or West] astrogation check. Yeah.


[00:28:02] – Steven



[00:28:02] – Cameron



[00:28:03] – Laura

hmm. Is zere an east or west in space?


[00:28:06] – Steven

Relative to the planet’s gravity and [Nick laughs] axis alignment. [Laura: okay] I astrogate.


[00:28:12] – Laura

Anyways . I [group laughter] I am putting it out zere. I do not know whether or not I am wanted on zis planet. [Steven laughs] probably not. I would say a solid 80 percent for no. It depends on how good their warrant system is.


[00:28:27] – Nick

Hey guys. Will you flipped me that Darkside point please


[00:28:29] – Cameron

oh no.


[00:28:30] – Nick

Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be [Cameron: I think so] fine.


[00:28:32] – Laura

Xianna has [Cameron: we-] been arrested many times.


[00:28:35] – Cameron

We now have 5 light side.


[00:28:38] – Laura

So we will be using that. ’cause yeah. Xianna has been arrested a handful of times at least three, probably more.


[00:28:46] – Hudson

Okay so…


[00:28:47] – Cameron

I’ve been in the cockpit shutting engines down and [Nick makes engines turning off sounds] doing all that stuff. flipping all the switches


[00:28:53] – Steven

So -uh- Karma? You know where we are? I mean I know where we are but do you. You are the co-p-


[00:28:59] – Cameron

I mean so  the navigation computer says we’re in sector 4.


[00:29:03] – Steven

sector 4 perfect!


[00:29:05] – Nick

You are by outpost 4.


[00:29:06] – Cameron

oh- thank you. The navi-computer says were by outpost 4 .


[00:29:09] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron ]That’s where I was aiming.


[00:29:11] – Cameron

I’m sure you were-


[00:29:12] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] It’s wonderful.


[00:29:13] – Cameron

Yup -uh-. Unroola Dawn, it’s a planet.


[00:29:16] – Steven

That’s the planet I was going for too.


[00:29:18] – Cameron

-mmhhmm- Yeah


[00:29:18] – Steven

it’s a good landing.


[00:29:19] – Cameron

There’s a gate over there with some storm troopers in front it, and a little outpost beyond.


[00:29:24] – Steven

Well I-


[00:29:25] – Cameron

and I haven’t been off the ship yet. So that’s what I know


[00:29:27] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I assume all we have to do is -uh- deliver said cargo to the- to the outpost?


[00:29:32] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] We have to get the cargo first, right?


[00:29:35] – Steven

I thought we already saw the two meter by one meter box.


[00:29:38] – Nick

No. you’re picking it up here to take it somewhere else.


[00:29:41] – Laura

Yeah, [Nick: Oh] we have to get the box


[00:29:42] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Did anyone catch the name of who we’re supposed to talk to ’cause [Possibly Nick makes gurgle/static noises] it’s kind of garbled.


[00:29:48] – Laura

I only [Cameron: yeah that’s what I heard too]  ‘eard the words Sentinel? And I don’t-


[00:29:52] – Hudson

I thought it was centennial. [group laughter]


[00:29:56] – Laura

No that [Steven: Sentinel!] means one hundred.


[00:29:57] – Hudson

Yeah it was confusing to me too


[00:30:00] – Laura

No, I zink– [group laughter] Sentinel.


[00:30:02] – Hudson

-uh- Okay


[00:30:03] – Laura

zat is what I ‘eard


[00:30:05] – Hudson

we’ll go with what you heard.


[00:30:06] – Cameron

[overlapping Hudson] I did too. But I don’t know what that means.


[00:30:07] – Laura

I zink it is someone who watches zings?


[00:30:11] – Steven

Well there’s two sentinels there.


[00:30:13] – Laura

Yes. Zat is- Yeah. Like a guard.


[00:30:16] – Cameron

We were warned [Cameron giggles while talking. Most likely says: -to watch who we asked-] about it though so maybe asking the storm troopers isn’t the best idea.


[00:30:21] – Hudson

Let’s just get past the storm troopers and figure it out from there.


[00:30:25] – Cameron

Cool. Didyou fix the ship?


[00:30:28] – Hudson

-uhhh- It’s gonna work.


[00:30:30] – Cameron

Cool. [group laughter]


[00:30:32] – Laura

Zat sounds like a no


[00:30:35] – Hudson

  1. It’s not a no because I’m just missing some welding fluid and after I get that then we’ll be 110 percent. But right now we’re not- we’re 100 percent


[00:30:45] – Laura

okay [Cameron: alright]


[00:30:46] – Steven

I believe you.


[00:30:47] – Hudson

I don’t even have to roll for that.


[00:30:49] – Nick

No you’re good. -uh- So you all head down the ramp.


[00:30:53] – Laura



[00:30:54] – Nick

and towards-


[00:30:54] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] I take out the key and boopboop [Nick repeats: boopboop] and lock the ship.


[00:30:57] – Nick

Ok. You arm it. It’s -uh-


[00:30:59] – Steven

I take the key back.


[00:31:02] – Cameron

nooo. [Cameron laughs] Karma does not give you the key.


[00:31:02] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I attempt  to take key back.


[00:31:04] – Cameron

Yeah you don’t get it.


[00:31:05] – Nick

I mean is this- is this important enough to you that we need to make an opposed roll on this right now?


[00:31:10] – Steven

Would it be a brawl or a melee?


[00:31:13] – Nick

Are you like fighting her for it?


[00:31:15] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] oh no, Xianna is going to step in between them and just look at Sabos and be like –mmmmm- just let her ‘ave ze key okie? please? I want to use charm [Cameron: do a charm check] Imma roll charm.


[00:31:25] – Nick

You- you can charm. What’s your discipline Sabos?


[00:31:28] – Steven

I have some discipline. by that I mean none.


[00:31:30] – Cameron

Two green.


[00:31:32] – Nick

Okay, so two purple [dice sounds]


[00:31:38] – Laura

an advantage?


[00:31:40] – Nick

You are unimpressed by her attempting to make you think it’s a good idea to not take the keys but you also don’t want to like start a fight. That’s the advantage. You’re not sure that’s going to go well.


[00:31:53] – Steven

I don’t want to start a fight.


[00:31:54] – Cameron

I put it [Steven: I might try-] in my breast pocket. [Cameron snickers]


[00:31:57] – Steven

I might still try to grab it later.


[00:31:58] – Nick

Yeah that’s fine.


[00:32:00] – Steven

Now that she’s revealed where the key is. [Nick: -mmhmm]


[00:32:02] – Hudson

that sounded predatory, be- cause [Cameron laughs] of where she put the key. [Hudson laughs]


[00:32:06] – Nick

Sheese- getting intense. Okay.


[00:32:09] – Cameron

I put- put- put both my hands back and I’m gonna flick my head tentacles so several of them fall over my shoulders in front.


[00:32:14] – Steven

I flick my head tentacles too. Unsure what’s going on. [Hudson laughs]


[00:32:17] – Laura

Why are you-


[00:32:19] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I give you an unimpressed look as you only have four.


[00:32:22] – Steven

sorry, had tails. -wooh- Not tentacles. I don’t want those. [Cameron laughs]


[00:32:25] – Nick

She has tentacles.


[00:32:26] – Cameron

[Steven: yeah] I don’t care what you call them.


[00:32:28] – Laura

Xianna’s just like looking back and forth like “are we flipping our ‘ead tails for a reason? [Hudson: I whisp- ] is- is zis a zing now?


[00:32:35] – Cameron

-uh- no. mine are still a little soggy.


[00:32:37] – Hudson

I- I whisper to Xianna I think he’s just trying to copy people. I don’t think he knows how to actually do things.


[00:32:45] – Laura

[whispers] zat makes sense. Also I zink zey can hear us.


[00:32:50] – Hudson

nooo, we’re good. [group laughter]


[00:32:53] – Cameron

Tink’s like whispering but he didn’t lean down at all to talk to Xianna so it’s just like seven foot tall whispering


[00:32:59] – Laura

I imagine that he’s like standing at full height just looking down and not really whispering like it’s his version of a whisper. But it’s still fairly loud [Nick: ooh] because his translator probably can’t handle like the [Hudson: there’s no volume] full whisper


[00:33:15] – Nick

No, so I really like the idea. So one thing I have to apologize for the previous episode with Hudson his mask is a translator mask not a breather mask, for an alien race that shows up in the background of Rogue One for 20 seconds I think we did a pretty good job.


[00:33:28] – Laura

They’re in like two episodes of Aphra in [Nick: oh] the background as like bodyguards.


[00:33:33] – Nick

and buy episodes you mean issues


[00:33:35] – Laura

[overlappin Nick] Two issues. I’m [Nick:ok, it’s a comic-]  sorry. It is a comic book.


[00:33:37] – Nick

I was going to say if there- I’m missing an Aphra show I need to know. So he’s got his- his mask set. But I really like the idea that if he whispers, it is designed to be easy to understand so it just says whispered and then says whatever [group laughter]


[00:33:51] – Steven

Does Tink not speak basic?


[00:33:53] – Nick

No he [Steven: ooh] can’t. His vocal chords aren’t set up right. It’s kind of like Chewbacca who can only speak Chewbacca


[00:33:58] – Laura

But unlike- I guess most people understand Wookie. So everyone seems to understand Chewbacca. Nobody speaks Gigoran.


[00:34:07] – Hudson



[00:34:07] – Laura

so he has to use one


[00:34:09] – Cameron

I bet it does like the [in a robotic voice] -sarcasm- [group laughter]


[00:34:12] – Nick

No. so like it can do…


[00:34:14] – Hudson

It’s only when volume is modulated.


[00:34:15] – Nick

Yeah it can do tone of voice and stuff like that because otherwise then he would just sound like HK 47 all the time. So after that long exchange under the ship within sight of the scouts of like arguing and head flipping and whispering and everybody just kind of looking at each other. The Scouts still look bored. Do you approach the gate?


[00:34:33] – Laura

Yeah. Xianna’s just gonna be like follow me! We go into ze city and.. -uh-  starts walking that way.


[00:34:39] – Nick

Okay so you get up right next to them and the gate is on a motion sensor and slides open and the scouts are watching you but they don’t say anything.


[00:34:47] – Laura

I wave at them [Cameron: and I-] I like waving at people.


[00:34:49] – Cameron

I give the one on the right a smile and flicked my head tail [whispers] and walk through.


[00:34:53] – Nick

So the one that you smile and flick at is just deadpan. As far as you can tell and the one that Xianna waved at kind of cocks his head slightly to the side. And it makes that high pitched armor creaking noise that they make when they get thrown into trees in Return of the Jedi, the like [Nick makes a creaking noise] noise but he doesn’t say anything either. So it looks like he can probably just go straight through.


[00:35:14] – Steven

I also salute with one of my headtails.


[00:35:16] – Laura

Why would you [Cameron: with one of your headtails?] salute with the head tail? Do you understand how creatures-


[00:35:19] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] it’s kind of acknowledged by moving the head tail.


[00:35:22] – Laura

Oooh, oh.


[00:35:23] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] So you like pick it up?


[00:35:23] – Nick

No. So the head


[00:35:24] – Cameron

What? [group laughter]


[00:35:26] – Laura

I [Steven: no] was imagining  [Steven: -aposable] he picked it up in [Steven laughs] [Steven: ohh nooo] his hand and then [Nick: noooo] sort of slopped it onto his forehead [Nick: That’s what I was thinking] and put it back down.


[00:35:31] – Nick

Cause it’s about his prehensile as like a dick is, so. [group laughter] You can’t like gesture with it.


[00:35:39] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] So I have some facing up so I can-


[00:35:40] – Nick

-uh hu- So you like wiggle them at him just-


[00:35:42] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] your two montrals.


[00:35:43] – Cameron

It’s- It’s like wiggling your ears.


[00:35:45] – Steven

Yeah, just the one [Cameron: you can wiggle your top montrals ]side though.


[00:35:46] – Laura

So like the top ones are called like montrals.


[00:35:48] – Steven

Yeah those aren’t the headtails that’s right.


[00:35:49] – Hudson

like the thing jocks do when they pass someone and they do that like head tilt up like just [Cameron: but it’s like-] slightly, [Cameron: but it’s with the montrals], but-uh- so yeah.


[00:35:55] – Cameron

[Laura: I mean-] They twitch slightly


[00:35:57] – Hudson

We’ll say he did that.


[00:35:58] – Laura

They’re not prehensile though.


[00:35:58] – Cameron

It’s way [Steven: it’s you know body language] less creepy than picking one up and saluting with it.


[00:36:02] – Steven

[Steven laughs] oh yeah not like that


[00:36:02] – Laura

swinging it around


[00:36:03] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] that’s really weird


[00:36:05] – Nick

Gross. You head through the gate. Like I said before the inside of the settlement is pretty plain. It has dirt roads and a small one story buildings arranged in a ring around the middle, the center you can tell now is a pre-fabricated imperial barracks. They all look the same. So if you’ve ever seen one you’ve seen all of them and you can see squads of storm troopers jogging in formation a group goes by and you hear [stormtrooper voice mod][singing] “I don’t know but I’ve been told the sarlacc’s welcome is my cold” and they’re echoing back and forth to each other and jogging around. So it’s a pretty much an independent town within these walls. A lot of it appears to be imperial military but you can see several outpost shops. There is a building off to the side where you can see off duty Imperial’s. You recognize them by their gate and their posture,  coming like into and out of some of them look kind of drunk and there is a building furthest from the gate that’s actually made of wood and not prefabricated and looks to be more comfortable than the other buildings and in front of that one there are three white armored storm troopers posted up front and one of them’s standing directly in front of the doors. So that’s what Outpost number 4 is like.


[00:37:09] – Laura

So who are we meeting?


[00:37:12] – Steven

-uh- Sentinel


[00:37:15] – Laura

[Someone makes static noises] ze[Cameron: sentinel] Crinkle crinkle noise. crinkle noise sentinel. -mmh- Yes


[00:37:18] – Cameron

That’s what we got.


[00:37:19] – Steven

I was hoping one of y’all understood that in y’alls native tongue.


[00:37:23] – Hudson

Do any of you know who was talking to us on the hologram in the room.?


[00:37:25] – Laura

‘e would not tell me ‘is name.


[00:37:28] – Hudson

And none of you knew? Okay. Nobody knew him before.


[00:37:30] – Multiple Speakers



[00:37:31] – Cameron

He just hired me for a bounty job.


[00:37:33] – Hudson

Hmm let’s find some shady character in town and ask them.


[00:37:37] – Laura

Let’s find a non-stormtrooper.


[00:37:41] – Hudson

Can I use… underworld and find someone?


[00:37:45] – Nick

Actually so finding someone would be streetwise. [Hudson: -uhh]


[00:37:48] – Laura

I have streetwise


[00:37:49] – Hudson

Let’s have [Steven: I can do that] whoever has the most.


[00:37:52] – Nick

Someone could add a boost to it if you’re trying to help.


[00:37:55] – Cameron

No. help me.


[00:37:56] – Steven

How do I do that?


[00:37:57] – Nick

Oh just say you’re helping her and she gets [Cameron: one, three, hey] a boost die. [Cameron: I’m listening to you].


[00:38:00] – Steven

I’ll help her. Do I roll the same as I would normally?



No you don’t even have to roll, if [group chatter] you help someone they get a boost.


[00:38:07] – Laura




To find a shady person in an imperial outpost?


[00:38:12] – Laura

Or just like-


[00:38:12] – Nick



[00:38:14] – Laura

yeah, okay.


[00:38:14] – Cameron

non-storm trooper


[00:38:15] – Nick

A non-storm trooper is average. [dice sounds] Yeah there are some.


[00:38:21] – Laura

[dice sounds] 5 successes and one advantage


[00:38:24] – Nick

five successes and one advantage. So you instinctively hone in towards the building that the drunk storm troopers were coming out of. And you go in and there are long low tables and people like the black form suits that they wear under the armor. And some people in officers uniforms. [low bar noises begin playing] But it’s like the shoreside officers uniforms not the Navy ones so [Laura: yeah] they’re just kind of like brown boring clothes and sort of the super legit like gray uniforms and they’re sitting very structured by rank and most of them aren’t talking but they’re drinking some of the soldiers are whispering to each other but it’s a very quiet restrained atmosphere and behind the bar there is a person that you assume must be a native you haven’t seen anyone like them before. They have kind of lanky black hair. It does the crow feather kind of purple highlight thing to it and they have a very tan face. They have broad features and long cheeks and it’s a guy with a like ratty brown apron on and no shirt. And he is in the process of handing a can of beer to somebody.


[00:39:29] – Cameron

Can I roll a xenology check?


[00:39:31] – Nick



[00:39:31] – Cameron

what would be the difficulty?


[00:39:34] – Nick

-uh [Cameron whispers: on a xenology roll] easy.


[00:39:34] – Cameron

[dice sounds] Nope. I fail with three advantage.


[00:39:38] – Nick

So you can spend the advantages however you want there probably human, honestly like there’s a lot of weird- So you don’t know specifically about this group but there’s a lot of weird -uh -races in Star Wars that are like human except for this one thing or this guy looks a lot like that. He’s ripped. Think Conan the Barbarian ripped. And like lotza stretched out really ugly looking scars like on his arms and things like not action hero scars like there are divots where stuff is missing but he seems to serve a can of beer pretty well.


[00:40:08] – Cameron



[00:40:09] – Laura

I’m probably already at the bar.


[00:40:11] – Nick

Ok… so everyone else paused to look around and see what was going on. You just walked right up to.


[00:40:17] – Laura

Yeah. Are there like seats at the bar?


[00:40:20] – Cameron

I use my advantage, there’s four seats together.


[00:40:22] – Nick

Sure, there are four seats together and one of them’s even big enough for a Gigorin.


[00:40:28] – Cameron

It’s the end seat. [Nick: yeah] So he can stretch out.


[00:40:30] – Hudson

So I passed down a message so I’m not speaking to the whole bar saying one of the ladies should try to get some info.



-hmm- You could have said that like from the doorway.


[00:40:39] – Laura

yeah I mean I’m- I’m already at the bar.


[00:40:41] – Nick

The whole volume thing is just for comedic effect. I’m not going to screw you over. [Cameron laughs]


[00:40:44] – Hudson

Great. okay


[00:40:44] – Nick



[00:40:45] – Laura

So while they’re still looking around I’m already at the bar in the stool, like chin in my hand, like leaning on the bar table. I mean, like ‘allo -uh- I would like a beer? is all you have beer? [Steven mutters something]


[00:41:00] – Nick

Well the beer is the one thing I can guarantee isn’t contaminated but we have some starshine.


[00:41:09] – Laura

-umm- ze beer is fine zank you.


[00:41:12] – Nick

All right. One imperial ale coming right up. And he takes out- there like the high baller cans. And he sits it on the bar. And you reach for it and he stops you he puts a hand out and he reaches over and [Nick makes a can opening noise] opens it for you. And like turns it towards you.


[00:41:26] – Laura

Zank you.


[00:41:26] – Nick

that’ll be six credits.


[00:41:30] – Laura

  1. Xianna is just like internally is like Damn, zat is expensive.



We don’t know who we’re trying to look for.


[00:41:41] – Hudson

Don’t say that to him. [group laughter]


[00:41:44] – Cameron

So as we- at that point Tink leans over and said the- or passes the message that he thinks one of the lady folks should try and get information. The three of us are still by the door Xianna’s the only one who went by the bar.


[00:41:58] – Hudson

[overlapping Cameron] oh Okay. In that case I’ll just talk. OK. We’re still by the door then I’ll say when talking to them… played dumb like you are- like you supposed to go and grab this package so that we can have plausible deniability if they say Wait you’re smugglers or something like that.


[00:42:13] – Laura

I’m already at the [Steven: i can be-] bar.


[00:42:15] – Cameron

Yeah. [hard to hear chatter] it’s just the three of us talking. [Hudson: just the three of us]


[00:42:17] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] So, yeah, I want to-


[00:42:18] – Steven

All right guys I’ll be the lady folk.


[00:42:20] – Laura

I want to be charming for a little bit but then I want to… Would it be maybe skullduggery to do like some very subtle like hint droppings


[00:42:31] – Nick

That’s streetwise


[00:42:32] – Laura

Streetwise? OK. I can-


[00:42:33] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] streetwise is talking to people and people not thinking you’re a narc.


[00:42:36] – Laura

Yeah. So I want to do… just do like I guess a straight charm role. Just be friendly for a little bit and then-


[00:42:42] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] You can use the charm roll to try to get advantages on the streetwise role.


[00:42:45] – Laura



[00:42:46] – Cameron

Honestly I think Xianna’s going to be the best person to be talking since they tend- -uhu- Imperials tend not like aliens but they tend to find Twi’leks sexy.


[00:42:57] – Hudson

I don’t know if I trust her but we’ll go ahead.


[00:42:59] – Steven

I’m legitimately confused because most Togruta are female so I don’t really understand what’s going on.


[00:43:05] – Laura

[Cameron: cool] Two successes and two threats.


[00:43:07] – Nick

OK the successes. This guy likes you. And obviously the people around aren’t much of conversationalists. So you catch him- You say something that’s like mildly entertaining and he -ha ha ha ha haaaa- And you can tell he’s just totally hook line and sinker whatever you need from him. The threats are that some of the officers sitting in the corner noticed that laugh and are now, they don’t look suspicious but they’re definitely paying attention to you. They’re curious about what’s going on.


[00:43:37] – Laura

I mean I’m smiling at them. [Nick: mhmm] OK. And then yeah I guess-


[00:43:40] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] They’re not taken by your charms. They were not directed at you.


[00:43:43] – Laura

Well yeah. You have to like direct it. You can only project in one direction. That’s how [Nick: Sometimes in two if you-]charm works.


[00:43:51] – Nick

-If you have more than one kind of asset I guess.


[00:43:53] – Cameron

At this point we’ve been standing at the door long enough. So I kind of usher everyone out of the door way over there to the extra seats.


[00:43:59] – Laura

What wou- would the streetwise check be?


[00:44:01] – Nick

At this point, it’d probably be hard but you get a blue dye. [dice sounds]


[00:44:08] – Nick

And we’re like very much Level 1 and you guys still are starting out with these huge dice pools.


[00:44:14] – Laura

Two successes.


[00:44:15] – Nick

Nice. So what are you… What information are you trying to get out of him or what hints are you dropping?


[00:44:21] – Laura

I’m trying to drop that we’re here for a job and we need to pick something up and try to be like real subtle that we’re not exactly sure where to be going. So if he knows of anyone who’s providing a job for someone… let me now. [Nick: OK] If he knows anything. Yeah.


[00:44:43] – Nick

This takes a while. By the time all of you are seated at the bar, who’s drinking? Is anyone drinking?


[00:44:49] – Hudson

I’ll be drinking.


[00:44:50] – Steven

Yeah I [Cameron: I am- ]am drinking for sure.


[00:44:51] – Cameron

-I’m not drinking.


[00:44:52] – Laura

I’m already [Nick: you’re just sip-] drinking my beer.


[00:44:55] – Nick

Okay so-


[00:44:55] – Cameron

I’m scanning the room.


[00:44:57] – Nick



[00:45:00] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I’ll go with starshine


[00:45:01] – Nick

Oh you’re getting starshine?


[00:45:02] – Steven



[00:45:03] – Nick

That’s four credits but I need a resilience check from you. [group laughter]


[00:45:07] – Steven



[00:45:10] – Cameron

Two greens.


[00:45:10] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] That’s going to go well. How hard is said resilience check?


[00:45:12] – Nick

It is hard.


[00:45:13] – Steven

Oh is it?


[00:45:14] – Nick

Yeah this stuff is legit.


[00:45:18] – Steven

Hard is three?


[00:45:18] – Laura

three. [Nick :mmhhmm] [dice sounds]


[00:45:22] – Steven

[whispers: yeah it’s going to go well] Yeah it goes fine.


[00:45:25] – Cameron

[whispers] no it doesn’t [Laura: oooh boy]


[00:45:26] – Steven

Two failures and one advantage.


[00:45:27] – Nick

You have an advantage?


[00:45:27] – Laura

He does.


[00:45:28] – Nick

Okay so you’re gonna take four strain-


[00:45:32] – Steven



[00:45:32] – Nick

-and you are mildly inebriated. It hits you a lot harder than you thought and it hurts, like your stomach hurts but you get a good buzz off of it. So as far as you’re concerned this was a- a good deal. -uh- you can- Is there something you want to spend the advantage on.


[00:45:48] – Steven

I would like to know the brand of the starshine.


[00:45:51] – Nick

The starshine, it- it’s-


[00:45:52] – Steven

Is it is actually from this planet?


[00:45:54] – Nick

Yeah. Like it- the guy makes it in a bathtub out back.


[00:45:56] – Laura

Yeah it’s [group chatter] starshine. There’s no brand.


[00:45:59] – Steven

Well, I didn’t know if it was like you know one of the regulated starshines that  come from Corellia.


[00:46:02] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] no. This is like bathroom gin or bathtub gin-


[00:46:06] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I ask- I asked to be excused to go look at the tub it’s made in.


[00:46:09] – Nick

Oh he goes with you. [Steven: perfect] So there’s a little a side of you standing around and you kick at it and he’s like pointing out the still and everything and he’s like yeah we amke it right here out of these berries we’re not- They don’t really have a name that’s pronounceable in basic but they -uh- they have a pretty good kick and so you have a little thing and he likes you and you guys are best friends so. Good job. And then back to the hints of the job and everything. Heee… kind of gets what you’re saying and- and thinks about it for a bit and says Well most people that aren’t imperial are here for one reason or another, we don’t see a lot of people come here for no reason but the guy who handles most of these jobs is actually out right now. Went on a hunting expedition. He should be back pretty soon. But you would want to talk to him. He’s the guy who- who lives in that- the bigger building in the back of the complex.


[00:47:02] – Laura

Okay. zank you


[00:47:03] – Nick

He says his name is Falx Urnstad. He’s -uh- he’s kind of a big deal and around then the imperial officers get up to order more beers and he kind of clams up and goes back to pulling them out. You see there isn’t any refrigeration or even electricity in this building like it’s a prefab building but the inside is all like cobbled together wooden tables and stuff like they just cut two by fours. It doesn’t have any refrigeration or lights like they never hooked it up so he just has an Imperial issue cooler with ice in it that the beers are all stuck in


[00:47:33] – Cameron

Is it shaped like a Death Star?


[00:47:36] – Nick

No it isn’t. [Cameron laughs] It’s square. It’s a case that is about three metres long and two metres wide.


[00:47:43] – Cameron

[whispers] missed oppurtunity


[00:47:44] – Nick

Yeah well-


[00:47:44] – Steven

it’s a big imperial cooler


[00:47:46] – Nick

the Deathstar doesn’t exist as far as you know so…


[00:47:50] – Cameron

yeah I know -yyyhh- thought they had begun merchandising.


[00:47:54] – Nick

-hmmhmmmhmmm- That’s- that’s what you get from him before the Imperials walk up- they’re doing that hip lean in the bar thing while they’re looking at you, kind of like as an invitation to talk but they’re not making a first move


[00:48:05] – Laura

And I just kind of like politely smile at them and then when I’m done with my drink look at everyone else to suggest like we should gooo.


[00:48:16] – Hudson

I down my drink- [Cameron: Karma gets up and walks out]


[00:48:18] – Hudson

-I down my drink and get up and go.


[00:48:20] – Steven

I stumble a bit and say that starshine is to die for. [Nick laughs] and get up and go


[00:48:25] – Nick

Okay. As you come outside you hear the sound of speeders in the distance and you see the trees rumbling and the gate slides open and you see three offroad vehicles come in. They’re are speeders but they’re rigged up- their air intakes and stuff have a lot of heavy grating over them so they can go through the jungle. The one in the middle has a crane arm and is holding some strange creature that is dripping black ichor from it. It looks like a great white shark but with scales and teeth where its fins should be. Can I get a perception check or xenology check from somebody?


[00:48:57] – Steven

sure [Cameron: sureee]


[00:48:59] – Laura

Ew. I can do perception


[00:49:00] – Cameron

I can do perception


[00:49:01] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I can xenology.


[00:49:02] – Cameron

Can we all percept?


[00:49:03] – Nick



[00:49:05] – Laura

What’s the difficulty again?


[00:49:06] – Nick

-uh- This one’s hard. [Steven: sure] [dice sounds]


[00:49:11] – Nick

Are you rolling preception or xenology Sabos?


[00:49:12] – Steven

Xenology, but it didn’t go well.


[00:49:15] – Nick

Okay so you [Cameron: you suc-] don’t know what this is.


[00:49:16] – Cameron

You  succeeded with three threats.


[00:49:18] – Steven



[00:49:19] – Nick

-hhmm- You fall prone. [loud bass sound] [Steven laughs]


[00:49:22] – Cameron

But he knows what [Cameron laughs] it is.


[00:49:23] – Nick

But you know what it is.


[00:49:26] – Laura

Four successes on my perception check. [dice sounds]


[00:49:29] – Hudson

What’s the difficulty of the perception check?


[00:49:31] – Multiple Speakers

Hard [dice sounds]


[00:49:33] – Steven

[muffled] I- throwin’ the side of it.


[00:49:34] – Cameron

One success… for karma.


[00:49:37] – Hudson

Okay I have [Laura and Hudson snicker] a failure.


[00:49:41] – Laura

One of those gets cancelled out.


[00:49:43] – Cameron

It’s [Hudson: I see] a failure, a threat, and a triumph.


[00:49:45] – Hudson

I have a failure, a  threat, and a triumph.


[00:49:46] – Nick

Okay so you don’t see anything so Sabos you identify this as a Kersten’s beast. It’s -uh- pretty rare, they like jungle environments and they’re real real real real scary and it’s such a surprise to you that you fall on your ass in the mud. [loud bass sound] There is no mud in this outpost except for one puddle that you managed to find, so your clothes are dirty now.


[00:50:09] – Steven



[00:50:10] – Nick

So Karma and Xianna, you see that han- from this creature hanging -uh- it has thousands of like Millipede legs hanging off the bottom of it [Cameron: ew] and [Laura: Eww] some of them are still kind of twitching. Yeah And that- [Cameron and Laura: ew gross]


[00:50:24] – Steven

I say Hey guys I think this is a Kersten’s beast. They’re pretty fucking scary.


[00:50:28] – Cameron

No shit.


[00:50:30] – Laura

I can see zat.


[00:50:31] – Steven



[00:50:32] – Cameron

Karma goes no kriff.


[00:50:33] – Laura

I can see it’s weird little leg zings


[00:50:37] – Cameron

There’s so many [Hudson: ccccreepy] legs and so many teeth.


[00:50:40] – Nick

All of the storm troopers snapped to attention as the speeders pulled to a stop at the square around the barracks. You guys are all within probably 40 yards. You’re close enough to see but not close enough that you’re going to draw immediate attention. A squad of storm troopers pile out of one speeder and it’s a mix of white armored storm troopers and the scout troopers and out of the other two speeders who come people who are obviously military but are wearing expeditionary outfits. They are pale like they are used to wearing helmets and have short utilitarian haircuts. Out of the front speeder comes two grizzled looking people you can only assume are locals like the bartender. There’s a man and a woman. They look pretty similar. They have dark lanky hair and a deep tan and scars, just like the bartender did. They were wearing clothes that look like they started as the expeditionary outfit but have been patched together and strengthened with animal hides. their blasters look simple but customized, they’re stripped down to-  So there are as little parts that could fail on them as possible but they still seem to be pretty deadly. And as you’re getting all that after a small pause the scarred people look behind them and one more person steps out of the speeder. It’s a Zabrak male. He has facial tattoos but they’re subtle, only a darker brown than his already tanned skin. He has a light blaster strapped to his thigh and a pure white version of the expeditionary outfit on, it’s spotless. There’s an imperial insignia above the left breast. He surveys the crowd that’s gathered. The stormtroopers are all still at attention and looks perplexed for a second, then appears to remember something. He leans back into the lead speeder and pulls out a canteen and… a martini glass. He pours the contents into the glass and tosses the canteen back into the speeder. He sighs to himself -sigh- and waves at everyone to go back to their duties. The two locals that are with him go to cut down the lizard monster. He looks around and says oh boy it sure is good to be home.


[00:52:30] – Nick

And that’s where we’ll end it this time.


[00:52:33] – Cameron

He must a King, he doesn’t have shit all over him. [group laughs]


[00:52:36] – Laura

He doesn’t have shit all over him! [group laughter]


[00:52:43] – Multiple Speakers



[00:52:43] – Nick

Oh my gosh. [group laughter]


[00:52:44] – Hudson

-for the longest time. [group laughter]


[00:52:45] – Nick

oh nooo


[00:52:46] – Cameron

Thanks for listening to [guitar background music] Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five star review. Five star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.



Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.



Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.

Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58.


Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter. Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out. See you next time.

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