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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 16:
Blackmail and Bacchanal
Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)
NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.
Starting off, I want to remind everyone about our current Twitter drive. We’re currently at 116 followers, which means we’re 9 away from a whole bunch of bonus content. When we reach 125 followers we’ll be doing our final Twitter poll for the creation of our blue Gungan friend, who by the way is a circus acrobat and loves Sabacc and making jewelry. (laughing) These were all decided by listeners.
If you haven’t joined this crazy internet party you really should. It’s been a ton of fun. Jump online and say hello. Also, we’ll be releasing more bonus episodes on off-weeks after we get there, and our first ever blooper reel, so there’s lots of reasons to help us reach our next goal. Please follow @Tabletop_Squad on Twitter.
In addition to all that, I’d like to thank PirateRowan for their thoughtful and comprehensive review. PirateRowan, your enthusiasm and engagement online has been extremely fun and we appreciate the review.
Okay, last thing: These episodes were recorded LIVE AT GENCON. The squad made a pilgrimage up to Indianapolis and we brought our gear with us. The audio’s pretty clean, but you may notice we have a bit more echo than you’re used to. The room had different acoustics, and there wasn’t a ton I could do about it. It’s pretty minor so hopefully it’s not too distracting.
Also, we had guests on the show. Drew and Aly from the Welcome to Warda podcast will be with us the next few episodes. Warda is one of my absolute favorite worlds and podcasts. You can find them at welcometowarda.com or @WelcometoWarda on Twitter. Check It out!
With that done, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy the episode.
NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron. This is Episode 16 coming to you live from GenCon. Go around the table, introduce everybody and the characters they’re playing, and we have a couple of special guests today we’re super excited about. Let’s start with Hudson.
HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.
NICK: Lovely to have you with us. Up next we’ve got Laura.
LAURA: Hello. I’m Laura, and I’m playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.
NICK: Awesome. Up next we’ve got Cameron.
CAMERON: Hello! I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter.
NICK: Wonderful. Up next, the first of our two special guests today, we’ve got Drew. Drew, tell us a little bit about yourself.
DREW: Yeah. Hi, I’m Drew Mierzejewski. I am an actor and creative based out of Orlando, formerly Chicago. Me and my wife Aly do a lot of things. We do Warda, we do game design, we do fun stuff to, you know, pass our hours until we die. (laughter) And that’s what we do.
ALYSON: Wow. Amazing.
NICK: Great. And who are you playing for us today, Drew?
DREW: I’m playing Jorus Kreel, a Human smuggler.
NICK: Wonderful. Up next, as Drew mentioned, we’ve got Aly.
ALYSON: Hi! This is Aly. Drew an I are the co-creators of Warda, which is a podcast, an actual play, and an upcoming roleplaying game that we’re working on.
DREW: I always forget that, yeah.
ALYSON: Yeah, that thing that we’re doing. We have a podcast that you can find on all your podcatching apps and devices. It is set in an original fantasy world that we created together, and it’s full of mystery and romance and adventure, and social commentary, and social conflict, and society… and parties. It’s a lot of fun.
DREW: It’s a lot of fun. And clothes, lots of clothes.
ALYSON: So much fashion.
DREW: So much fashion.
ALYSON: We elevator pitch it as a mixture between Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, and Agatha Christie. I mean, in my opinion, that’s the perfect cocktail.
DREW: Yeah, that’s a great show.
ALYSON: Right there. Yeah.
NICK: (laughs) Great, well we’re glad to have you with us. Who are you playing today?
ALYSON: Tonight I am playing Sila Roe, a Human Imperial Inspector.
NICK: Wonderful. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out. Last time we were with the crew of the Afternoon Delight, you were on a secret space station in the middle of nowhere. You finally met your mysterious benefactor, Sentinel, face to face. He gave you kind of a run-down on what your actual mission was, which was that you were going to destroy potentially a fleet to clear the way for a Rebel mission of some kind. Then, as he was getting ready for you to do productive things, you got a call from a Mr. Falx, Regional Governor of the Empire, who essentially blackmailed him into sending you all to a completely different location and do something completely different.
Am I missing anything? That sounds about right, where we left off.
CAMERON: That sounds about right.
LAURA: Oh. He was definitely not a former Jedi, at all.
NICK: Oh, Sentinel? Yeah.
LAURA: Definitely not.
NICK: No, absolutely not. He’s just a guy, right?
LAURA: Mm-hmm. Normal person.
NICK: With like a brown bath robe.
LAURA: Yeah. He just has like brown robes for no reason.
DREW: You have Ben Kenobi out there on Tatooine.
CAMERON: Exactly. Yes.
HUDSON: Yeah. The wind moved that vase. The wind definitely moved that vase.
NICK: (smiling) It was the wind. It was not the Force.
ALYSON: Not the Force.
NICK: Okay. Great. Before we get started we’re gonna do the Destiny Roll. Everybody roll me one of them there white dice.
CAMERON: I got one dark side.
DREW: One dark side.
ALYSON: One dark side.
LAURA: Hudson and I both got two light side, so that’s four!
CAMERON: Heck yes.
NICK: So what does that put our total at?
CAMERON: So that puts us at four light side, three dark side.
LAURA: Eh, okay.
NICK: So, Aly and Drew, like I was saying off-mic, you all being representatives not necessarily from the Afternoon Delight will be using dark side points and the crew will be using light side points, and will be using that effectively I hope. With that, we’re gonna go ahead and jump on in.
We start with the camera aimed into deep space. It’s quiet and still. A small comet lights the sky in the far distance. Then, there’s a swoosh and a bang. The Afternoon Delight stretches and snaps into place, coasting under its own momentum, running lights flashing. This is the first time we’ve gotten a good exterior look at the Afternoon Delight in a while.
The outside of the two side compartments are scored and covered in smoke. The middle section, including the cockpit, seems to be in decent condition, but towards the back of the ship there’s a large crater above one of the engines. One of the emitters is sputtering causing the steady blue glow to cut out periodically. A close look would also reveal a sheet of armor plating working its way free, again, as if it had been slid into place but the recent trauma to the hull had broken it free.
As the ship drifts the camera turns to follow it. Below the Afternoon Delight we see the planet Mustafar. Some listeners may remember it as the crazy lava planet that Obi-Wan and Anakin fight on in Episode 3.
NICK: The planet looks like an angry, glowing eye floating in space. It is crossed with flaming lava, and what little atmosphere it has seems to be mostly smoke; an inhospitable world with the only inhabitants being miners and industrial droids. The ship begins its descent towards the north pole of the planet. We get a shot of the ship’s cockpit. Who’s sitting up front currently?
CAMERON: Probably Karma, as I think I’m the- I bought ranks in both Piloting: Space and Piloting: Planetary last time, as I felt that might come up!
NICK: Yeah. Go figure.
NICK: So, what are you doing, coasting in?
CAMERON: Yup. I’m still sitting in the co-pilot seat.
NICK: Tink, Xianna, what are you all doing on the ship currently?
LAURA: How long has it been since we left?
NICK: It’s about a five hour jump.
LAURA: Oh. Xianna’s definitely still passed out.
NICK: Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
LAURA: Sleeping or passed out. Probably both.
HUDSON: I’m walking around sweating bullets trying not to let everyone know how much the ship is screwed up right now, (laughter) because that was kind of my bad, but no one knows that yet.
CAMERON: It’s still flying. It’s fine!
HUDSON: Yeah! It’s fine.
NICK: I’m sure it’ll never come up.
NICK: Yeah. Great. Okay… A yellow light pops on in the dashboard of the ship. When you hit the corresponding button a voice fills the cockpit. “Greetings flight crew of Imperial Transport: Gibbous Moon. We have your reservation in hand. Please proceed to the uploaded coordinates.”
CAMERON: “Thank you?”
NICK: Beep-boop. They just hang up on you.
CAMERON: (laughs) I proceed to the coordinates.
NICK: Yeah. We get a nice shot of the ship swinging in towards the north pole of the planet. It’s a little less smoky over there. The facility you’re directed to is not what you would normally see on Mustafar. The heat on this part of the planet is less than you would expect, only enough to make you sweat profusely, not enough to burn you immediately. The landing pad is a glossy, white platform hanging over a lava-filled chasm. You land easily, and looking up through the view screen of the ship you can see that the smoke and ashes are kept at bay by a low power shield that covers the facility.
The pad is mostly filled with lambda class shuttles, those are the winged ships that fold up, and there are luxury space yachts and civilian ships as well. It’s about what you’d expect except a couple of ships stand out. You see a Z95 Headhunter, it’s like an X-Wing but older and kind of stubbier. It’s painted a non-descript tan color, but has large cargo containers under the wings that could be used to hold additional weapons or supplies. You also see an Imperial ball craft. It looks like the cockpit of a TIE fighter but with one thin wing extending off the back. These are extremely rare, but are sometimes used by important Imperial agents on infiltration missions as they are easy to hide on planets. You also see a Skipray Blastboat, a military surplus vehicle often used by small crews of bounty hunters due to its durability and firepower. (smiling)
NICK: It looks like the Star Wars version of a military equipped minivan. You also see a Star Viper painted red, which is a civilian class fighter ship that looks like an unfolder flower. You know from experience that those can lay down some pretty heavy damage in a dog fight.
You all land. Before you exit the ship you see several Imperial attachés and government officials exiting shiny space yachts. They’re wearing dress uniforms and formal attire. The women you see that aren’t in uniform are wearing fine ball gowns. This appears to be a formal affair. What’s your plan?
CAMERON: I’m sitting in the cockpit, and I’m the only one who can see it at the moment. As I started the descent I turned on the full ship coms and told Xianna to wake up.
LAURA: “(sleepy) Wha— Huh?”
CAMERON: “We’re landing!”
LAURA: “Oh… Oh- Okie…”
CAMERON: “So just START waking up.”
LAURA: “(weakly) No…”
CAMERON: “Alright. Great. Cool. Tink, can you go get Xianna up?”
HUDSON: “Yeah. Yeah. I can do that.”
CAMERON: “Thank you.”
HUDSON: “Just a second. I need to get my formal belt. Just, it looks pretty fancy down there.”
CAMERON: (laughing) “Okay, great, yep. I was just gonna bring that up.”
HUDSON: “(abruptly) Xianna, get up.”
LAURA: “(bitterly) Okay fine.” Yeah, Xianna would get up, actually put clothes on. She found a boot that fits, right?
LAURA: Yeah, that happened.
NICK: Yeah. We spent way too long describing your footwear situation.
LAURA: Yeah. She puts her boots on, gets dressed, and makes some caf. The bottles of Corellian whiskey are still in the kitchen area, and there’s a pretty good chance that her cup is not completely caf.
NICK: Cool. So, mechanically what I’m seeing here is you have two options with evaluating the situation you’ve been dropped into, because you didn’t have any background knowledge. We can do kind of a sliding scale here. You have that costume closet with a bunch of stuff in it.
CAMERON: That’s where Karma was headed. (laughs)
NICK: Yeah. You can dress as formal and blend in as you want, and go really elegant, but you’re gonna lose your armor bonuses and you’ll be more vulnerable if something goes wrong, or you can slide it all the way to you’re going in full combat-wise, but you’re gonna stand out really intensely. You can try to do something in the middle, you’re just gonna have to explain what that looks like.
CAMERON: Karma climbs down from the cockpit and heads to the closet and takes her cape out, and puts her cape on.
NICK: Okay. you’re wearing your battle armor with your fancy Imperial cape.
CAMERON: It’s not actually an Imperial cape, it’s just a black cape with embroidery on it.
NICK: Okay, so you’re wearing battle armor and a fancy cape.
LAURA: It looks awesome!
CAMERON: It does! And as soon as I put it on and walk out of the costume closet area I start sweeping around all of the corners very dramatically with it.
NICK: Does it still smell like smoke and destruction?
CAMERON: No, because I wasn’t wearing the cloak when the herdship broke up. It was already on the ship.
NICK: Yeah, that’s fair.
CAMERON: So it smells wonderful.
NICK: Tink, you mentioned you were wearing your formal belt. I’m gonna assume that has the same armor bonus.
HUDSON: It does have the same armor bonus.
NICK: Which is zero, from what you were wearing.
HUDSON: Yes, exactly. Actually, “Xianna, do I need to have anything else on to make me stand out as one of your guards, maybe, or something other than a Gigoran?”
LAURA: “Ooh! Let’s look in the closet!” (laughter) And she definitely disappears into the closet and is throwing—
ALYSON: It’s a really quick montage.
LAURA: Full montage. There’s some scarves, some hats, some brooches, I think we just settle on a cute little newsy style hat.
HUDSON: “I like this.”
ALYSON: (smiling) Oh my gosh.
LAURA: “You look lovely.”
HUDSON: “Thank you. I feel lovely.”
DREW: And life was never the same again…
NICK: We gotta change all the art.
LAURA: And then… Xianna’s gonna look to see if there’s a similar cloak to what we had given karma, big enough that it just covers the trench coat, not necessarily- it doesn’t have to have a hood. She’s not trying to completely hide the fact that she’s a Twi’lek, just trying to hide the coat and not have to put on a fancy dress and lose all of her items.
NICK: Okay. Y’all can do the cloaks. That’ll work. It’s not gonna stand up to the most deep look, but it’ll get you in the door, for sure.
CAMERON: So, I’ve been swooshing around with my cloak, and then I see Tink’s hat and I just don’t feel like I’m quite at the level that Tink’s hat takes him to, so I’m gonna go back to the costume closet. I want to do the belt thing with the cloak, like Diana does in Wonder Woman, so that it’s kind of a dress with a cape attached to it, so it looks more form fitting and less like I just threw on a jacket.
NICK: Ooh. Do you put your vibro-sword down the back?
CAMERON: That’s where it is.
NICK: Okay. Okay.
CAMERON: It doesn’t pop up over the cloak, and it’s not nearly as pretty as that sword. It’s just got a boring, black handle. But yes, I’m now in a dress-type garment.
NICK: Well, thank y’all for dressing up and neatly side-stepping the mechanical choice that I gave you. That’s great.
NICK: Awesome. So, it takes you a while for you to change into your clothes. We get a low angle shot of the boarding ramp of the ship as it drops to the landing pad and the crew exits. Describe y’all’s exit out onto this shiny white platform filled with fancy people.
DREW: (makes the beat to Back in Black by AC/DC)
LAURA & ALYSON: (join in the song)
ALYSON: It’s like slow-mo.
LAURA: Xianna is in front being the face, she is definitely in front. Then, Karma is behind her slightly off-set to the right, and then Tink is even another step back slightly off-set to the left.
CAMERON: You need to be able to see all of our costumes in the shot so we can’t be directly behind her.
LAURA: Yeah. The shot is like slightly downward-up, and we’re like backlit a little bit.
ALYSON: Mm, yeah.
CAMERON: Because the lava behind is making the explosion type thing with the slow-mo, but not actually exploding anything.
NICK: Oh yeah. A rock definitely falls off a cliff wall into it so we get the (burst noise), get the spray off of that.
ALYSON: Perfectly timed.
NICK: Yeah. And then also, the temperatures are different enough that a little bit of ground fog is coming up out of the ship too, so it’s a good look.
ALYSON: The production values are very high.
NICK: Just on this episode, though.
LAURA: Tink is gonna get so sweaty.
NICK: Oh, it is extremely warm.
CAMERON: (laughs) Ew.
ALYSON: Do you get floofy when it’s this warm?
HUDSON: I more get wet, and it’s kind of gross, like me and body fluids have a really torted history in the past.
DREW: So it gets like stringy?
LAURA: Yeah, like matted.
HUDSON: Yeah. That’s actually a word we’ve used to describe it in the past.
NICK: (laughing) It’s not great.
LAURA: In the jungle, we definitely said he smelled like wet dog, and was a little frizzy.
ALYSON: Oh Tink.
NICK: Yeah. Poor Tink. Alright, so you exit with your awesome backlit shot, exploding lava… The main platform condenses down into a walkway, and a shined and cleaned protocol droid is standing at the exit of the landing pad. It gestures at you as you get close. “Welcome to the Imperial Gala. Please continue up the walkway to the festivities.” Do you continue up the walkway? Do you wanna ask the droid anything?
LAURA: Xianna’s gonna keep going. There’s a party.
CAMERON: “Thank you?”
NICK: ‘You’re welcome.” Droids have solid faces. This one looks pleasantly surprised that someone acknowledged it.
CAMERON: (smiling) I figured it might be.
NICK: Yeah. Tink, you doing anything or are you following?
HUDSON: I’m just following.
NICK: Okay. The walkway is a meandering gangplank. It has no handrails, but it is lit from below with periodic spotlights. A red glow from the lava and the harsh spotlights cause the partygoers to look like wandering spirits as they head inside. The doors to the gala are held by two stormtroopers standing at attention. They’re so motionless you’re not sure whether they’re statues or not.
The inside of the ballroom is stunning. The floor is clear transparesteel allowing you to see straight down to the roaring magma below the structure. There are waiters in tight, black cat suits carrying champagne and hors d’oeuvres. There are some stand-up cocktail tables scattered around and large round tables covered in white tablecloths with glowing arrangements of igneous rocks around the edge of the room, although few of the partygoers are sitting.
Most of the men in the crowd are wearing Imperial dress uniforms, although there are a few men in tuxedos scattered about. The women are wearing increasingly elaborate gowns and hairstyles and cluster around each other for a few minutes at a time before scattering away to form new groups, usually leaving one behind looking crushed and overwhelmed. The whole gathering has a predatory air.
There are a surprising number of non-Humans at this party as well. Several of the servers are Twi’leks, you see a Davronian man speaking with some Imperial officers, and a couple of Rodians are leaning against one of the glass walls. There are two other stormtroopers in the room. They are standing at the far side of the ballroom on a small raised stage flanking an empty podium that looks like it’s set up for speeches later.
Now would be a great time for our additional characters to enter the stage, I think. Drew, Aly, what are your characters up to in this shindig?
DREW: I’m fashionably late, so uh, what are you doing?
ALYSON: You’re not there yet? Is that what you’re saying?
DREW: No, I’m not there yet.
ALYSON: (sophisticated) Sila Rowe is moving shark-like throughout the crowd, very, very bored, with a droid floating alongside behind her tailing her as she goes. She doesn’t stop to talk to anyone, but she just watches everything as though she’s seen it a million times before and will see it a million times again. Nothing about this is impressive for her. Nothing about this is interesting, yet, but the night is young.
NICK: I think we definitely get an overhead shot of all these clusters, and every time Sila gets close they scatter like sharks swimming through a reef, and then they come back together, and when they come back together the droid swoops in close because they’re not expecting it and you hear a snapshot noise as it takes pictures of different people, and then they all look really nervous.
ALYSON: So, people are noticing Sila Rowe moving through? They’re very aware of her?
NICK: I think, the impression that I’m getting, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, is that Sila has an aura that freaks people out a little bit.
ALYSON: yeah. It makes them very uncomfortable.
NICK: Yeah~ Most of them look confused at the same time, too. They’re not sure what’s going on, but they know they don’t want to talk to you. (laughs)
ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Yeah. She is not wearing a gown. She is in dress uniform with everything pressed and crisp, utilitarian.
NICK: So, Sila is an Imperial Inspector, which may or may not be an actual EU thing, so what does an Imperial Inspector’s dress uniform look like?
ALYSON: Interesting. She’s got one of the little hats.
NICK: Have to.
ALYSON: Gotta have a hat. Her dark hair is, if she took the hat off, is in a very intricate series of knots and spirals, but it’s all tucked low and close to her head so that with the hat on it looks like a single low bun but it’s definitely not.
DREW: (mumbling) Make up? Make up?
ALYSON: Okay. Easy. (laughter) She’s wearing regulation stuff. It’s neutral and basic. It’s not important.
DREW: (whispered) Damn.
ALYSON: But she has really long lashes, really long, full, dark lashes. She’s got like tall boots, and… I don’t know how Imperial uniforms look. It’s black and square shouldered, and really well tailored is the thing.
ALYSON: It’s utilitarian, it’s simple, but it’s very clean, and even though she’s not wearing an intricate gown, as she passes—shark-like—through these women in silk and brocade and whatever, it may as well be for the way she wears it and the way she doesn’t seem to care what anyone else is wearing.
DREW: Do you mind if I offer something about what distinguishes her as an Inspector?
ALYSON: yeah, go ahead.
DREW: Okay. This is probably not canon at all.
NICK: We really don’t care that much.
DREW: Good! I love it. So, you know the Corellian blood stripe.
ALYSON: yeah, yeah.
DREW: You have one of those, but it also goes up the arm as well, so there’s this red stripe that runs up both sides.
ALYSON: That’s cool. I like that.
NICK: And then the other thing is, I think it’s a pretty neutral uniform, it’s got that, I think the Inspector uniform probably has a patch. What do you think the patch looks like?
ALYSON: Oh man.
NICK: Is it a ranking logo, is it something that’s imagery?
ALYSON: She’s not just an inspector, she’s an Imperial Inspector. It has the Empire’s insignia, but at strategic points in that logo it’s like a constellation, so there’s silver embroidered stars at certain points in that logo that have been emphasized. The Imperial logo is there, but like you were saying your cloak is black but there’s embroidery in it, so like the Imperial logo is there but the stuff that catches the light are the stars that are poised throughout it. Kind of like, if you know what it is you know what it is.
NICK: Yeah. It looks blank until you get up close, and it may even be just weird stitching, but if you know what that is you can spot it a mile away. I really like that. That’s really cool. Okay, Jorus, do you arrive?
DREW: (cocky southern voice) I do eventually arrive. What happens is as Sila’s moving around taking the look of the room, not the main door, the side door opens… kind of anticlimactically.
ALYSON: I feel like the camera just drifts to the side and this door goes (squeaking noise).
DREW: So, there’s all this commotion going on at the main door, people are coming in and handing people their invitations and coming in, and as the door opens in steps Jorus. Jorus is about six feet tall. He’s in his mid-to-late 30s. he’s got a square beard and a rather thrilling mustache. He’s kind of graying at the temples a little bit from a hard life on the rim, and he’s got this beat up leather hat on, and he is not dressed for such an occasion. He’s wearing his usual jacket that he usually has, it’s a leather jacket that’s got that quintessential Star Wars piping off the side.
NICK: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
ALYSON: Yeah, those pin tucks?
DREW: Yeah. It’s kind of a dark brown jacket that’s got dark blue piping off of the side of it. He’s wearing high boots, tan pants, and like a red shirt. It’s the nicest shirt he owns. (others giggle) He’s wearing a gray vest with that as well. He’s got his blasters on, there’s the bulge of a hulled out blaster under his arm, and he steps in and immediately waiters come up to him, and they’re like ‘I’m terribly sorry sir, this is for a private function.’ “Ah, kriffin’, I got my own invitation.” He reaches in and pulls out this very official looking invitation. He goes, “Here. Why don’t you chew on that for a while,” and kind of puts it at the waiter. As he steps in he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small little package and takes out what looks like a cigarette and puts it in his mouth. As the guy is sitting there looking at the invitation and goes, ‘Well, Mr. Jorus Kreel.’ “That’s Marshal Jorus Kreel, actually.”
DREW: It’s then that we see that on his shoulder there’s the marshal patch that he’s wearing, and he also opens his jacket and there’s his official badge on the inside.
NICK: Okay. Cool.
DREW: By doing that he also shows his blaster (laughter) to the waiter, and the waiter kind of stiffens a little bit. “Don’t you forget it.” He takes one of the cigarettes and goes, “You want one?” and he puts it in the mouth of the waiter. “Felusian Tebrax bark. You can smoke it, you can chew it, you can snort it too if you like, I don’t recommend it though.” He takes one of those plasma lighters and he lights it, takes a drag. “Now if you’ll excuse me… I got a party to go to.” And he walks in.
NICK: I think the waiter is completely stunned. You get a nice shot of the Felusian bark hanging out of his mouth, not knowing what to do, still holding the invitation, and one of the Twi’lek waitresses with pink, bubbly champagne on a platter walks up and says, “Well, we weren’t expecting anyone like you. Would you like a drink?”
DREW: He looks her up and down and goes, “Sorry, I don’t drink on duty,” and he walks away.
NICK: She pouts, (others giggle) and shrugs and turns off to someone else. That needs the stop shot with Jorus Kreel and the electric guitar under it.
(electric guitar noises)
DREW: There’s like a sepia tone.
ALYSON: And then it keeps going—Yeah! The sepia tone.
NICK: In the distance we see a Zabrak man in fancy clothes waver over and grab a couple and start to drink them. “Wonderful. This is exactly what I was hoping for.”
So, the crew sitting in the room, they see these entrances. In addition, there’s another person you can see by the bar, an Imperial Inspector. Sila, you would probably know them from professional situations, a man named Tarstin Moon, a thin gentleman wearing spectacles, one of the best although he hasn’t collared anyone in quite a long time he’s an Imperial Inspector. When asked what he’s working on he’s often very quiet. He just says he’s been working on something really big. He looks to be the only one not mixing with the guests except for Sila herself. Can I get Perception checks from anyone looking at *Tarstin? So, whoever would be looking at him at the bar and want to look a little bit more closely.
LAURA: A brief physical description again?
NICK: He’s a thin gentleman wearing spectacles with a thin but stylish mustache. Think like Gone With the Wind.
LAURA: Oh. Okay.
NICK: Yeah. Slicked back hair.
LAURA: In my head I was imagining like boring old professor…
LAURA: …but if we’re talking stylish, pencil-thin mustache, then yeah I’ll do a Perception check.
NICK: You’ll notice that his uniform is very similar to Sila’s and has red pinstripes.
CAMERON: What difficulty?
NICK: This will be hard, I think.
CAMERON: So three purples.
NICK: Three purples. You roll the purples with those at the same time.
ALYSON: Whoa. This is a lot of dice.
NICK: Yeah. So you have to algebra them out, so the failures and stuff cancel. Cameron will help.
ALYSON: I feel like I’m casting runes.
CAMERON: That’s gonna be two failures and three advantages for Sila.
NICK: We’ll wait to see what other people’s rolls are, Sila, but those advantages, you can spend—three of them is a bunch. You can do pretty much whatever you want with those. You can add something to the scene, you can give yourself an advantage for later, describe it narratively…
HUDSON: You can give someone else an advantage.
NICK: You could give it to someone else if you wanted to.
ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
NICK: You can think about that for a second. How did Xianna do?
LAURA: Xianna has three successes, one threat.
NICK: Okay. Oh boy, we’re starting the threats. I think this is another episode with a threat counter for nameless fear.
CAMERON: (laughs) Great.
NICK: That’s one. There is a number in my head. If we hit it, something really bad will happen.
NICK: Yeah. Last time I had this like creeping doom and they never got to it, so…
DREW: That was the most gentle roll.
CAMERON: That’s just one threat.
NICK: Just one threat?
CAMERON: (smiling) Just one threat.
NICK: That’s gonna go in the pile. Y’all are just gonna begin to stand out a little bit.
HUDSON: I didn’t look.
NICK: Jorus, did you wanna look at him or no?
DREW: Oh no, I’m not paying attention to any of this.
ALYSON: You said that Inspector Moon is someone who I would know professionally?
ALYSON: Is this someone that I am familiar with or I just know who he is?
NICK: I would say you’re familiar with him. You’ve maybe worked a case before. That’s up to you. It would be more fun if you have a relationship, I think.
ALYSON: yeah. Maybe it’s been a while since we ran into each other, but we’ve definitely worked a case or two in the past.
DREW: (musically) Strangers in the night~
NICK: Tarstin hasn’t noticed you yet, but you’ve seen him.
NICK: So, Xianna I guess would be the only one who noticed that he takes a little packet of powder and mixes it into his drink and the color changes a little as he’s drinking at the bar.
LAURA: Would I have any idea what that is?
NICK: No. You know it’s not impact.
LAURA: I mean yeah, you don’t put that in a drink.
NICK: But no, it’s in a black bag, you just see a little bit of white powder. From the distance you’re at there’s like no possible way you would.
LAURA: Okay. I’m watching this happen, and I see a waiter walk by with some sort of cigarette in his mouth, and I just pluck that out and go “Oh thank you~” and stuff it into one of my pockets for later.
DREW: Smells like cinnamon.
LAURA: Oh, that’s lovely. And I’m very intrigued by what he put into his drink. I’m gonna go up and talk to him.
NICK: Okay. Before that happens, two things. One, Jorus it’s up to you but would you like to see her very smoothly pluck this Felusian cigarette out of the waiter’s mouth? Is that something you’d like to notice?
DREW: Yeah. Yeah.
NICK: Alright. Can you make me an Underworld check, please?
DREW: Alright. Let’s see here. That’s gonna be…
NICK: I think you have Underworld.
DREW: I do. I do. It’s based off of Intelligence which is two, so two greens and a yellow, I believe.
NICK: Yeah. That’s gonna be an average difficulty.
CAMERON: Just one yellow, one green.
DREW: Oh, sorry.
NICK: No, you’re good. Two purples.
LAURA: Nick, is this to identify me?
NICK: Uh, yes.
LAURA: Okay. The difficulty is upgraded by one.
NICK: Ooh, so make one of those purples into a red.
LAURA: Because I have Indistinguishable.
NICK: Oh boy! I wasn’t gonna give away the whole game, but yeah that’s generally what’s going on.
CAMERON: (laughs) Nothing!
NICK: A total wash. (laughs) That’s always fun. You don’t succeed. Your interest is piqued. That’s somebody who’s slick.
DREW: Interesting. Interesting. Alright. I notice that happened. I noticed her take it. What does your Twi’lek look like?
LAURA: She’s about 5’6” and she is a beautiful shade of medium purple, very long lekku, the head tails, and there’s a—
DREW: Talking like, to knees?
LAURA: Small of the back to hips, and there’s a light gray smoke swirl pattern from the tips going to about half way. Dark purple lips and very blue-violet eyes.
LAURA: And then, I just probably picked a very basic cloak, nothing special, but nothing boring? I imagine… Ooh, what would look good with purple? It’s probably black—
NICK: I thought mustard yellow. That’s probably not.
LAURA: I was imagining black with a lot of gold on it. No crazy patterns and probably not reflective metallic, just a light dusting of gold. She’s about 25.
NICK: Yeah, great. Cool. You notice that’s an operator. Not one that you necessarily recognize, but yeah, that’s someone who’s good at stuff. You notice that ,and then you see someone approaching the group, someone I don’t think Jorus would know but Sila definitely is aware of them at least tangentially. It’s a Zabrak man. He is bald, he has horns, he’s like the Darth Maul race. He’s got tan skin with darker tan face tattoos, and he’s wearing a governor’s uniform. It looks like an admiral uniform but cut a little different, lots more shiny dooblies on the shoulders. His has been modified. It’s tailored nicer than his regulation and his shoes aren’t the right kind of shoes, they are much shinier, nicer boots. They look to be made out of some weird sharkskin material with a little bit of chiton things hanging off like in a fringe around the top. Call backs.
Sila, you can decide whether or not you’re aware of this. This is Regional Governor Falx. He has a reputation as someone who… He rose pretty far considering he’s a non-Human in the Empire, and something happened that no one has the same story about that got him made a governor of a backwoods system that’s extremely dangerous, and he’s been there a long time. His career just ground to a halt. The fact that he’s here at a bigger social gathering is a little strange. It’s weird that he was invited. He approaches this crew of people who, let’s be honest, don’t exactly blend in. They’re wearing cloaks. There’s a Gigoran, those are really rare, you usually just see them in the background with a flamethrower. (laughter.
But yeah, Falx approaches the crew and says, “My good friends, what a delight to see you. Thanks for coming.”
HUDSON: “Hi Falx.”
LAURA: Am I still in the group?
NICK: Yeah. You haven’t had a chance to depart yet. He managed to make his way through the crowd before you split.
LAURA: “Oh. ‘ello.”
NICK: He doesn’t have eyebrows, but he waggles them a little bit.
LAURA: (laughs) yes.
NICK: ‘No greeting for me, karma?”
CAMERON: “Why are we here?”
NICK: “Yeah, funny you should bring that up.” He looks a little awkward for a second and kind of clasps at his hip. He turns to a man next to him who is looking at Falx and the group suspiciously. He’s also wearing a Regional Governor’s outfit but it is a regulation one, standard, nothing fancy. He’s a sort of portly man with black mutton chops, and he is glaring at Xianna pretty strongly until Falx snaps his fingers to get his attention. “Governor Silpin, I think that’ll be all. I’ll speak with you after I get my friends settled.” The man looks like he’s about to say something to Xianna, and then—
LAURA: Xianna’s waving at him, just kinda very awkward smiling, “Oh hi~”
NICK: The man harrumphs to himself and departs for another group. You can hear him grumbling something that sounds surprisingly poetic and existential under his breath.
NICK: Falx says, “I am so glad that you came. I actually risked quite a lot to get you here unfortunately, but here’s the thing: I think someone at this party wants to kill me.”
CAMERON: “Why would they want to kill you?”
NICK: “I’m as baffled as you are.”
CAMERON: “Oh, I wasn’t baffled. (laughs)”
NICK: “Oh.” (laughs)
LAURA: “Um… Yes. Is the Mrs. Governor Silpin here too?”
NICK: “You know, it’s funny, I haven’t seen her in quite a while. I don’t know if she even came.”
LAURA: ‘Oh… Uh, never mind, then.”
NICK: “Why? You wanted to do some catching up?”
LAURA: “Uh… No. No reason. (laughs)”
NICK: “Oh. Strange. Yeah, so, really I have you here so that you can make it so I don’t die. That sounds great. I would like to enlist you as bodyguards.”
CAMERON: ‘If you thought someone was gonna kill you here why did you come here? Why not just stay on Unroola Dawn?”
NICK: “Well, I called them here, to lure out the assassin, you see…”
NICK: “…so that we could stop them…”
NICK: “…and I could go back to my meteoric rise to governmental power.”
LAURA: “That is not how you do that.”
CAMERON: (laughing) “This plan does not make sense.”
NICK: “Um… Well, it’s a little late now.”
CAMERON: “Yeah. We just need you to be aware of it.”
HUDSON: “That didn’t sound very smart.”
LAURA: “Tink—“ (laughs)
HUDSON: “I’m sorry. What I meant was it didn’t sound very smart that you waited so long to call us.”
NICK: “Oh. Yeah. Tink, I’ve always liked you.”
HUDSON: “Thank you.”
LAURA: “Do you want to just stand behind Tink for the whole party?”
HUDSON: ‘I cover a lot of area.”
LAURA: ‘He is very large.”
NICK: “We may come to that, but I am actually here to make some deals and arrange some things.” By the way, if either of you would like to overhear this conversation or move towards it at any point…
DREW: He’s the governor of the outer rim?
NICK: He’s a regional governor. He’s in charge of a couple of systems. You actually may have heard about the planet Unroola Dawn. It’s an outer rim planet, it’s backwoods, it has some really interesting wildlife and monsters on it.
LAURA: Don’t go there!
NICK: If you want to make me a Knowledge: Outer Rim check…
DREW: I’ll make a Knowledge: Outer Rim check.
NICK: Yeah! You’re probably very interested in those boots. Might give you a little bit more background.
CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?
NICK: The difficulty for you will be… Eh, let’s go with easy.
CAMERON: Okay, so that’s one purple.
NICK: I think that you’re a purveyor of outer rim fashion.
CAMERON: (sharp inhale) No…
LAURA: Oh… (laughs)
DREW: Is that another wash?
CAMERON: No, so it’s one failure, one advantage, because one of the advantages cancels out the threat.
NICK: So, you have an advantage. You can spend that in the next bit to give yourself a boost, to give Aly a boost, to add something to the scene, anything like that.
NICK: Yeah. They continue to talk for a little bit. Falx says, “So, I really need to work my way around the party. I figured you would appreciate if I kept Silpin away from you. To be honest, I did not expect him to be here, but you know what they say, best laid plans of TaunTauns and Rancores.”
LAURA: “Anyways. I would appreciate it if you did not eat or drink, because you know, the poisoning.”
NICK: “Oh. This one’s fine. This one’s from the flask.”
LAURA: “I mean, yes, well because if I was going to kill you I would poison your drink knowing you always drink martinis.”
NICK: “Well, I’ve been nursing this one for a while, gotta keep the wit sharp, and I haven’t dropped yet. So…”
CAMERON: “Cool. Make sure you maintain that in your sight. Don’t set it down anywhere and walk away to go to the refresher or anything. If you do, get a fresh drink.”
NICK: “Oh. Yeah, I never lose sight of a martini.”
LAURA: “Yes. If you do have to get a new one, make sure you watch the bartender make it or the droid make it. Yeah, how about you just don’t eat food, okay?”
NICK: “That’s fine. I’m not hungry anyway.”
ALYSON: I think while this is happening Sila is aware of Regional Governor Falx and his presence in the room. I think she stops her patrol, I guess is a good word for it, and kind of watches this from a distance. She’s not in eavesdropping range but she’s watching, and she kind of tilts her head to one side and the droid comes buzzing over to fill that space next to her, and I think she says under her breath, “Whist, are those known associates of the regional governor?”
NICK: “Calculating. I have no records of any of those beings.”
ALYSON: “With or without the regional governor?”
NICK: “At all.”
NICK: “Extremely. I must need my database updated.”
ALYSON: “Go ahead and do a round, would you?”
NICK: “At your command.” He floats up to five meters in the air, so it’s a little distinct but above most people’s normal eyesight, and starts to do a scan.
DREW: While this is happening, I would like to count all the Twi’leks in the room.
LAURA & ALYSON: (musically) Count the Twi’leks~
NICK: Alright. So—
DREW: Perception, or…?
NICK: I’ll just give you that. They tend to stand out.
NICK: There are—
ALYSON: They’re hot!
NICK: Yeah they are, especially these ones. There are four, one in each color that I think is fun. So, you see the purple one that is talking to an important government official with the cool boots, you see the one that talked to you earlier which was a red one, there is a yellow one that is actually not dressed as a waitress, she’s wearing a nice gown and is talking with some people and seems to actually be in control of that conversation which is pretty cool, and there is a green one that is a waitress and she has head tails that have Sabacc suits tattooed on them going down the back, she’s pretty short and she seems particularly animated.
ALYSON: So, they’re the Teletubbies colors.
NICK: Oh shit!
NICK: I guess so. Oh…
ALYSON: Does that make Tink the baby in the sun?
CAMERON: Xianna is Tinky Winky.
DREW: Would it be a Perception then to guess the heights of all of them?
NICK: Oh yeah, absolutely.
DREW: Alright. I’ll roll that Perception. I have two in Perception, so is that two yellows?
DREW: And then I have three Cunning, so it’s just two dice?
CAMERON: Yeah, so one green.
NICK: Three Cunning, you get a green one with your two yellows, and we’ll say this is an average check, I would say height estimates is something you do in your line of work pretty regularly.
CAMERON: So two purples.
DREW: So two purples. I can use a blue because I had that earlier?
NICK: You can, absolutely.
DREW: Alright. Let’s read these…
CAMERON: This one looks better.
CAMERON: Uh, ooh, no, not as better as it could be, though.
NICK: Not as better—
CAMERON: (laughs) Not as—Yeah. It’s three advantages, so all of those cancel out.
DREW: Alright. Ooh. Three advantages.
NICK: So when you get to three that starts getting into like three-pointer territory. You can do something with that that’s pretty cool, but you can’t be successful at the height guessing. That’s a fail.
DREW: Alright. So I can’t guess the height. It’s hard, because they’re spread out around the room, so I’m trying to guess their height but I can’t do that. So instead what I do is, I’m gonna say that I immediately dismiss the waitresses as possible targets, because from what I know of my quarry she would not be doing that.
NICK: So that’s the red one and the green one off the table.
CAMERON: Christmas colors, gone.
DREW: Christmas colors, gone!
LAURA: If I’m not allowed to do this let me know, but I would say with the purple one you specifically have a hard time, because she seems to be shifting her weight from foot to foot…
NICK & CAMERON: (laughs)
LAURA: …it kind of changes the height so you can’t tell if she’s like on tip-toes a little bit or if she’s purposely kind of slouched down whenever she’s shifting.
NICK: Oh no, 100%.
LAURA: yeah, so you’re just not sure which height is the correct height.
DREW: So, what I know is that she’s masking her height…
NICK: yeah. It’s totally not that she’s injured horribly or anything like that.
DREW: I’m gonna guess that she’s masking her height…
LAURA: R.I.P. toes.
DREW: Alright. Thank you so much.
NICK: Okay, so with your three advantages, do you want to sit on that for a bit, do you wanna think about it, or do you wanna use them on something?
DREW: Um… I’m gonna sit on them.
NICK: Okay. That’s fine.
ALYSON: If you don’t use your advantages right away do they go bye-bye?
NICK: No. I mean, maybe by the rules, but if you wanna pocket them for a bit and use them a little later I’m fine with that. It’s more fun.
LAURA: We pocket them.
ALYSON: Cool. Yeah, because I had I think one or two from before, but I haven’t done anything with them.
NICK: Yeah. In my mind you’re still sitting on them. Now like if the scene ends or something really dramatic happens by then they’re probably gonna go away, because we’ll forget about them anyway, but if you wanna sit on them and use them a little later…
ALYSON: That’s cool.
NICK: Yeah, should be fine.
CAMERON: If Nick is allowed to have a threat counter, we’re allowed to hold advantages.
LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.
NICK: That’s fair. No one’s done three threats yet. Disappointing. Yeah, so as all this is going on, I think Falx very subtly cocks his head and sees Whist making a circuit, and it’s difficult to see that he’s acknowledging. He goes, “Well, I think I need to be moving around the crowd otherwise it’s pretty suspicious, so if you could mingle a little bit, maybe look for anyone who could be a threat, there’s quite a few people who seem to be here that I didn’t invite, maybe—“
CAMERON: “Oh, this is your party?”
NICK: “Well, technically it’s Silpin’s party, but the man doesn’t think particularly well, so I may have implanted some ideas.”
LAURA: “Wait! So if it is his party, why did you not think he was going to be here? (huffs)”
NICK: “Yeah. The reason that I didn’t expect him to be here is because I made sure that he had business elsewhere. I really didn’t expect him to sacrifice a colony for this kind of thing.”
LAURA: “But it is his own party.”
NICK: “Well yeah, but the man hates parties. I think he came merely to aggravate me since I hijacked the thing.”
LAURA: “(huffs) Whatever.”
NICK: “Hey, my plans are intricate!”
CAMERON: “I would like to point out a security risk. We were able to just walk in the doors without an invitation, so if anyone is here to kill you they could’ve just walked in even if they weren’t invited to Silpin’s party.”
NICK: ‘Oh no, it was by the ship registry. Did you notice that they called you something else?”
CAMERON: “I did, but then everyone else was still handing in paper invitations as we walked through the doors.”
LAURA: “Like, no check at all. I have so many weapons.”
CAMERON: “We are so armed right now.”
NICK: “Well, I’m glad that you’re armed. That was part of the plan.”
HUDSON: “I have a visible vibro-axe.”
LAURA: You just have a vibro-axe on your back!
HUDSON: Just so you all know what I look like.
NICK: “You’re the guests of honor, and I may need to have—“
NICK: “You’re… What?!”
CAMERON: (laughing) “We’re the guests of honor?”
NICK: “Well, I mean, like my guests of honor. Anyone who keeps me alive is a guest of honor.”
CAMERON: “But this isn’t even your party.”
NICK: “You’re making me real nervous right now. I would like you to please mingle at the party.”
CAMERON: “Sorry. We’ve had a rough, like, 24 hours.”
NICK: “Oh, really?”
LAURA: “We will mingle. We will, we will mingle. Okie.”
NICK: ‘Hey, speaking of that, weren’t there four of you before?”
NICK: “Oh. Okay.”
LAURA: “Oh… Yes.”
NICK: “Oh? I’m getting some mixed messages.”
LAURA: ‘It’s fine. Do not worry about it.”
HUDSON: “(whimpering, failing to form words)”
HUDSON: I’m still broken up about losing a teammate.
CAMERON: (laughing) Karma puts a comforting hand on Tink’s shoulder.
LAURA: Xianna like turns Falx around by the shoulder and just pushes him into the crowd, and once he gets far enough away she looks at Tink and karma. “Okie. So, if he is killed at this party, he cannot blackmail us anymore…”
CAMERON: “That’s true.”
LAURA: “So, my vote is that, uh, we let him die.”
NICK: “I am still standing here!”
LAURA: “Oh! You are still here?! Wow!”
CAMERON: “Are you really surprised, though?”
NICK: “No, not really.”
LAURA: “Are you surprised? I mean, you are blackmailing me, so you know what I’m like.”
NICK: “Oh, I’m blackmailing all of you. I’m blackmailing most of the people at this party. … Ooh, I said that out loud.”
ALYSON: Did Whist catch that?
NICK: Oh, 100%.
ALYSON: yes! Perfect.
LAURA: “I mean, I figured, I feel like that is your thing. You blackmail.”
NICK: “Well yeah. Anyway. Now I will leave you alone to plot my demise. I’ve got some people to mingle with.” And he’s gonna go away.
NICK: I think at this point Whist kind of buzzes Jorus pretty close, and Jorus you hear a lot of computer beeping noises. He is right over you and you can feel a scan, kind of like if you stand too close to a microwave, like you shouldn’t be able to feel microwaves but you kinda get that vibe. You are being actively sonarred by this droid.
DREW: As that is happening, Jorus turns, sees it, flashes the badge, makes eyes, puts it back, takes a long drag of his cigarette… and blows it up into the robot. The smoke is not black smoke, it’s red tinged with yellow.
NICK: Ooh. Very Felusia, I like it.
DREW: Very Felusian.
NICK: Yeah. There’s a synthetic (coughing noises), which is bologna…
NICK: …because he’s a droid, yeah, and there’s a long pause as you see the main iris with a red light in it shutter in, and then you hear the droid say, “It’s an older badge, but it checks out,” and it continues on.
DREW: “Of course it does!”
NICK: One of the well-dressed kind of peacocky ladies who is in a little group turns by and goes, “Oh, there’s a badge!” and makes eyes at you for a second, and then a man in a tuxedo tries to get her attention back. She looks very torn.
DREW: Jorus winks, tips his hat, and goes, “Ma’am, I’m sure you’re… very smart.”
NICK: “What do you think he meant by that?”
“Don’t engage with the scary people, dear. Come back to the group.”
And then, Whist makes it back to Sila. “Reporting back for duty, marm.” // 51:48
ALYSON: “What did you find out?”
NICK: So, out of character, what kinds of things does Whist usually scan for?
ALYSON: Notable persons… In a situation like this where it’s a big mixer event, it’s an Imperial hosted event, we’re looking for people who shouldn’t be here, we’re looking for people who have records that I would need to know about…
NICK: Oh boy.
ALYSON: …we’re looking for people who are talking to people who normally they shouldn’t be talking to those people. I’m looking for things that stand out. I’m looking for things that aren’t normal.
NICK: Alright, so… It’s a long list. (laughs) it’s a long enough list that sorting through it is going to be difficult, so Whist gives you the Sparknotes version, the Starnotes maybe even.
NICK: So, he gives you a rundown. “Well, marm, I don’t know if you noticed but your fellow inspector Tarstin Moon is here.”
ALYSON: “I did see him.”
NICK: “Yes. His bio signs are a little irregular. He seems much more nervous than usual.”
ALYSON: “Irregular how?”
NICK: “Elevated heart rate and adrenaline, mostly.”
NICK: “Some sort of chemical irregularity I can’t identify.”
ALYSON: “That is unusual for him.”
NICK: “Most of the non-Humans here have records. Are there any specifically that you would be interested in?”
ALYSON: Out of character question.
ALYSON: Why am I at this party?
NICK: Good question. You were given an anonymous tip from a very reliable source that heard from someone they claim is reliable that your quarry was going to be at this party, specifically.
ALYSON: So someone I’m looking for?
NICK: Absolutely. Actually, that would be a good thing for the listeners to know. Jorus, you and Sila are both hunting someone specifically, and have heard from a reliable source that’s heard a reliable source that the person you’re hunting is here. Jorus, you’re looking for sort of a heartbreaker, someone who seduces and steals things on a small scale. Sila, you have been tracking this very up-and-coming slicer who’s been hacking Imperial systems. The only thing you know about them that identifies would be StarDestroyer1, it’s this weird signature they leave in a lot of stuff.
ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ALYSON: Cool. So, I’m aware then that it is Regional Governor Falx’s party masquerading as Governor Silpin’s party?
NICK: And Whist does say, “It’s quite strange that Silpin is here, because he doesn’t ever attend parties.”
ALYSON: “No, not even his own.”
NICK: “No, especially not his own. One other thing, there are several mercenaries here.”
NICK: “The Davronian, the Rodian…” For our listeners who don’t go into Star Wars, Davronians look like Halloween store devils—
NICK: –and Rodians look kinda like bugs with sticky-outie snoots. “The Davronian, one of the Twi’leks pretending to be a waitress, and the Rodians are all hired guns.”
ALYSON: “Hired by whom?”
NICK: “That I cannot determine from scanning their bio signs, although someday I do hope for that upgrade.”
ALYSON: “As do I, Whist, as do I.”
NICK: “Is there anything else I can do to serve you further?”
ALYSON: “Not yet. Continue as planned.”
NICK: “Assuming patrol route.” He goes up and starts to hover around the room. Is there anyone in particular that anyone would like to talk to? I defer to Jorus and Sila first.
DREW: I’d like to do two things real quick.
DREW: One, I’d like to hail a waitress over.
NICK: Which one?
DREW: Um, the green one.
NICK: Oh! Great.
DREW: I hail her over, and I take a drink. “Thank you kindly, ma’am,” and I tip her 100 credits.
NICK: She goes, “Oh… What else do you need?”
DREW: “The drink is fine.”
NICK: “Well, I’ll make sure to keep them coming, handsome.”
DREW: “Thank you.” He has his cred-stick and he very, um, noticeably places it in his pocket. He’s doing this in the middle of the room. Then he walks over to the yellow Twi’lek to go talk to her. I’ll defer from that.
NICK: Okay. Okay.
LAURA: So, Xianna’s standing still with Karma and Tink, and look sat the man that’s at the bar, and goes, “You know, I think I’m just going to go get some drinks, just enjoy the party, you know? I do not really care if Falx dies, too much.”
CAMERON: “Okay, but I am curious and interested in knowing the person who kills him, so I’m just gonna go follow Falx.”
LAURA: “Yes.” She’s digging through her pockets while she’s talking. “Oh… It is in here somewhere. Um, hold on…” She pulls out a small little bag, pours it onto her hand, and then snorts and goes, “Mm, it is a party. (upbeat) Tink, you want a drink?” (giggles)
HUDSON: “I’d love a drink.”
LAURA: “Okie. I’m not going to get you one.”
LAURA: She saunters off to the bar and does the elbow down, chin on the hand, in front of Tarstin. “Ello~”
NICK: ‘Oh, uh, well… Hi there.”
LAURA: “You are?”
NICK: “Not at liberty to say, I’m afraid.”
LAURA: “You can’t even make up a name?”
NICK: ‘Let’s… Let’s go with, uh, Tarstin. Dang it!”
LAURA: “Okie. I am assuming your name is Tarstin, then.”
NICK: “Yes, Tarstin Dangit.”
NICK: “Why are you paying attention to me right now?”
LAURA: “I like your mustache.”
NICK: “Oh, well thank you. I work very hard on it, actually.”
LAURA: “It is very nice.”
NICK: “Well, I think your… head tails are very nice, too.”
LAURA: She gets that like flash across her face of, ugh, that’s not- that’s so offensive… (others giggle) and then it immediately snaps back to the pleasant, like he probably doesn’t even notice. “Oh, heh, thank you. I, uh, grew them myself. (laughs)”
NICK: “Oh, haha, I get it. That’s very clever.”
LAURA: (smiling) “Yes.”
NICK: “I’m actually kind of in the middle of something.”
LAURA: “Yes, so, about that…” She kind of leans in very close and whispers. “So, I saw you pouring something into your drink?”
LAURA: “Yes. What is it?”
NICK: Hmm. I’m gonna need a Charm check.
LAURA: (gasps) Can do! What is my Charm?!
NICK: Also, if anyone else wants to sidle up to the bar at this point they’re more than welcome to listen in.
ALYSON: Sila is definitely watching this. I think she sends Whist back out on patrol, and she looked back over at Tarstin and was going to make her way slowly in that direction and stopped when she saw the Twi’lek approach him first, and now she’s watching that and making her way there very slowly.
HUDSON: I make my way to the bar and stand behind Xianna to get a drink.
NICK: (laughs) Okay.
LAURA: One success.
NICK: “Well, I seem to be having health issues lately. It’s like an immuno-stimulant. It’s of my own making, actually. It keeps me sharp.”
LAURA: “Okie. So, hypothetically, if you were to give it to someone who did not have your, um, illness… what would it do?”
NICK: ‘Ooh. I think it would probably make them extremely energetic, and perceptive, and intelligent, and rakishly handsome…” and he kind of smiles hesitantly, “and then they would have extreme gastric distress.”
LAURA: “Okie, um, it would not kill them though?”
NICK: “I sure hope not. I’ve been taking this for weeks.”
LAURA: “Okie. It also does not sound fun. I was hoping it would be fun, or very deadly, which is fun in a different way.”
NICK: “Oh… Are you- Would you be insinuating that someone would be taking recreational drugs at this point?”
LAURA: “Oh yes. (giggles)”
NICK: “Ooh… Um… Now might be a great time to tell you that I’m an Imperial Inspector.”
LAURA: “Oh! I do not mean like you, or me, I mean like other people at the party, because it is a party and that often happens. I mean, I’m pretty sure I saw the one Falx doing something.”
NICK: Can I get a Deception check as you try to dig yourself out of this whole.
ALYSON: Hmm~ Yes.
NICK: Also, at this point I think Tink is very close to Xianna messing up this conversation.
HUDSON: I heard digestive problems and my ears perked up for my previous issues.
CAMERON: Your medical book said something about digestive problems.
HUDSON: Yeah, my medical book did say something about digestive problems.
NICK: Yeah. Becoming Medicine… Yeah. Two difficulty. He’s very good at certain parts of being an inspector.
LAURA: (musically) Two failures.
NICK: He looks at the stormtroopers that are by the door and by the podium. They have not moved, statue still, stormtroopers are very good at that. “I’m a little busy right now, but I suggest you don’t leave the party. We may need to be speaking a little bit later.”
LAURA: (nervously) “Okieee.”
NICK: You can just feel the chill coming off of him.
LAURA: “Bye… I will talk to you later…”
NICK: You see he like snaps his fingers above the bar and one of the stormtroopers’ heads turns unperceptively and he does a series of complicated hand signs, and from the distance you hear, “Roger,” and then the head goes back.
LAURA: Oh. When that happens Xianna’s head definitely turns, looks up at the stormtrooper, and is just smiling and waving at him real, real big. (laughs)
NICK: You also see a scout droid with a bulbous head and a lot of arms dangling down. It’s above the stormtroopers. It goes, “(politely) Oh, hello,” and then continues on its circuit around.
ALYSON: One of its little arms wave—
(squeaking/beeping noises, more laughter)
LAURA: And she’s like ‘oh, yes, hi!’ (laughs) “So, Tink.”
LAURA: “It is a very good thing that you brought your vibro-axe with you.”
HUDSON: “Why is that?”
LAURA: “Oh, I said some very stupid thing, and we might have to fight our way out of the party.”
HUDSON: “Oh, Xianna… I’ve had a few drinks. I’m…”
LAURA: “I mean, I have not had any drinks yet. How have I not done that…?”
CAMERON: Tink’s just been slamming them behind you.
HUDSON: I’ve just been slamming them behind you.
ALYSON: Yeah, just one after the other in the background of the shot.
HUDSON: That’s exactly right.
CAMERON: Karma has just been following Falx, like one social group behind him throughout.
NICK: Okay. I think Falx goes to Jorus actually, like makes a B-line there, which is weird. You see this dashing space cowboy-esque figure that’s actively alienating anyone who tries to interact with him, which is fun. Falx goes straight up and says, “Wow. I didn’t expect the System Marshal to actually make it this far in.”
DREW: “Hello Falx. How ya doin’?”
NICK: “It’s been a long time!”
DREW: “Not long enough, but here we are.”
NICK: “I can’t help but agree. Are those the same boots as ten years ago?”
DREW: “Oh, you know, when something works you stick to it.”
NICK: “And then slowly age into oblivion. I know exactly the feeling.”
DREW: “(laughs) Get bent.”
NICK: “Oh. Aw… Ever eloquent as usual, my friend.”
DREW: “Well, you know, I don’t have much time for fancy words with puffed up puppies like yourself.”
NICK: “Oh yeah. Puffed, up, puppies, the exact kind of custom thing that I would expect from someone of your stature. No one says that.”
DREW: “I know. That’s why I say it.”
NICK: “Ah… Isn’t that nice.” You can see he’s talking to you while thinking about something else. I’m imagining you’re kind of against the wall near the stage and he keeps looking at the stormtroopers and looking somewhere else, and then his com goes off. He pulls it up. It’s one of those ones that looks like a shaving razor.
DREW: yeah, yeah, yeah.
NICK: Yeah. He looks at it, presses a button, and a few lights slide up. “Ah. I need to be doing something, if you’ll excuse me,” and he starts moving a lot faster, like beyond casual. At exactly that moment, the lights cut out.
ALYSON: People scream!
NICK: yes, exactly, it says it right there.
LAURA: (quietly) Xianna screams.
NICK: There’s a scream–
CAMERON: (feigns a scream)
NICK: The room is surprisingly dark with just a dull, ambient, red glow. It’s difficult to see anything, and you hear blaster fire, and the thud of dropping bodies. As quickly as it started, it’s over. The lights flicker back on. There’s another scream. The stormtroopers on the small stage have both been shot. One is on the floor and the other is draped across the podium as if they were turning towards the threat. The stormtroopers by the door have also been blasted. They both fell forward as if they didn’t even get a chance to respond. You see the crowd is pushing away from the middle of the ballroom leaving an empty circle. In the circle, in an expanding pool of blood, is Regional Governor Silpin facedown with a vibro-knife in his back. End of episode.
CAMERON: Oh snap.
CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and give the squad warm fuzzies when we read them.
Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.
Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.
Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.
Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.
Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.
Additional music by James Gunter.
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.