Month: May 2018

Bantha Cakes were first found in the cabinets of the Afternoon Delight by Xianna in episode 7 (well… listeners will hear about them first during the Jedi Adventures part 2, but we first created them in ep7). They described as processed snack cakes and the squadron immediately thought of Zebra Cakes… but blue. So not surprisingly, the classic Little Debbie snacks were a heavy inspiration for these cakes. A yellow cake, a whipped cream filling, a poured frosting, and a drizzle on top.  We decided upon almond-white chocolate as the flavor and tinted the frosting and filling to that wonderful shade of Bantha milk blue.

Bantha Cake cross section


First, let’s start with the cake. The recipe we use is a fairly standard yellow cake recipe that uses buttermilk to keep the cake extra moist. Once the cake is baked and cooled, you’ll a 3-inch round cutter to cut out 16 to 20 round pieces. How many pieces you’ll get will depend on if your cutter is exactly 3 inches or not.

Cake pieces being cut out


Next comes the whipped cream filling. The special ingredient in the filling is dry milk powder. It adds extra body to the whipped cream and makes it more stable. This helps prevent the whipped cream from melting at room temperature.

You’ll divide the filling evenly between half of the cake pieces. Then place the remaining cake pieces on top to create a “sandwich”. You may not use all of the filling. Don’t worry. Any extra can be eaten with the extra cake pieces. We’re not saying that we smushed handfuls of cake and filling into our mouths like a bunch of toddlers, but… wait- nevermind. We are saying we did that.

Cake pieces and frosting assembly process




Once the cakes are made and sitting in the fridge, you’ll start the fondant coating. It’s made in a double-boiler, which is a metal bowl placed atop a saucepan with an inch or two of boiling water. This means the steam is what’s heating up the fondant instead of the stove directly. It’s a more gentle way to heat things up, and helps prevent anything from burning or cooking unevenly.

The initial mix is powdered sugar, corn syrup, more blue food coloring, flavoring, and a bit of water. Once it’s fully heated through and mixed you’ll turn off the stove and add the white chocolate chips. Stir until everything is combined, and then it’s time to pour!

Using a ladle or large spoon you’ll pour the fondant over the chilled cakes. Any gaps or bumps can be smoothed out with a butter knife or the back of a spoon. Do this immediately after pouring, before the fondant has time to set.

Fondant being poured over the cakes



The final step is the white chocolate drizzle. You’ll melt white chocolate in the microwave in small increments (to prevent burning), and then using a spoon drizzle it on top of the cakes.

And there you have it, Bantha Cakes!

Bantha Cakes with white chocolate drizzle



Tabletop One’s Tips:

  • Buttermilk can be substituted by adding 1 tablespoon lemon juice to a measuring cup, and then pouring whole milk to reach the 1 cup mark. Let sit for 10 minutes.
  • If your cake top puffs up and is rounded after baking use a bread/cake knife to even the top out.
  • If your double broiler or bowl is not large enough to hold 12 cups of powdered sugar, make the fondant in two batches.
  • Make sure the bowl you use to melt the chocolate is completely dry. Any amount of moisture can make the chocolate seize and become clumpy.


Bantha Cakes [makes 8-10 large cakes]

1 recipe Vanilla Cakes (recipe to follow)
1 recipe Whipped Cream Frosting  (recipe to follow)
1 recipe Poured White Chocolate Fondant  (recipe to follow)
1/2 cup white chocolate chips

Using a 3-inch round cookie or biscuit cutter and cut out rounds from the cakes. You should get between 16 and 20, depending on how close to 3 inches your cutter is.

Place large dollops of the whipped cream frosting on 10 of the cake rounds. Smooth out the frosting. Place the remaining ten rounds on top.

Place the cakes on a rack over a baking tray. Put in the refrigerator while you make the fondant.

While the fondant is still warm, begin to pour the fondant over the cake rounds. If the fondant becomes stiff and less pourable, place it back on the heat for a few minutes. Continue until the cake rounds have been fully covered. The fondant recipe makes quite a bit, and there will probably be excess. If needed, you can scoop up the fondant that has collected on the tray and stir it back into the fondant in the double-boiler.

Place the chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 30 seconds. Stir. Microwave for 15 second intervals, stirring in between, until the white chocolate is fully melted. Drizzle over the cakes.

Let the cakes sit for at least an half an hour to allow the frosting to set.



Vanilla Cakes [makes 2 9″x13″ cakes]

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (312 grams)
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cup sugar (300 grams)
2 teaspoons almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup canola oil
1 cup full-fat buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 350°F and line two 9″x13″ pans with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk together cake flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat eggs with the whisk attachment on medium speed for 15-20 seconds. Add sugar and continue to beat on medium speed for 30 seconds. Add vanilla and oil and beat on medium speed for 1 minute. Reduce mixer speed to medium/low and slowly add about half of the flour mixture. Add half of the buttermilk, then the rest of the flour mix and the rest of the milk. Beat until just combined and smooth, scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl. The batter should be thin.

Pour batter evenly between the two pans. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. If cooking the cakes on different racks in the oven, switch them halfway through to promote more even cooking. 


Whipped Cream Frosting

1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon nonfat powdered milk or nonfat instant dry milk
Blue food coloring

In a mixing bowl combine the cream, powdered sugar, milk powder, extracts, and powdered milk.
Whip until the cream begins to thicken. Add the food coloring until a bright, light blue shade is achieved. I used 6 drops of Blue and 2 drops of Teal, both Wilton gel food colors. Continue to whip until the frosting is thick and holds its shape.

Poured White Chocolate Fondant

6 cups powdered sugar (720 grams)
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
Blue food coloring
3/4 cup white chocolate chips

Bring a pot of water to boil, then placing a larger metal bowl or double-boiler over it.

In the bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, water, corn syrup and extracts. Add the food coloring until a bright, light blue shade is achieved. I used 4 drops of Blue and 1 drop of Teal, both Wilton gel food colors.

Continue whisking until the mixture becomes smooth. It should be thin enough to drizzle from a spoon. If using a food thermometer, the temperature should reach 95°F.

Turn off the heat, add in the white chocolate chips and stir until fully melted.


Bantha Cakes with Jawas. Because we had them out at the time and didn’t have bantha figures.


Word document download: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front

PDF download: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 4:
A Monkey On Your Front

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Additional music this week is Stjepan Major by Peglica i Komandos.

Before we start, I wanna take a second to thank everyone for their five-star iTunes reviews. I’m talking to you LittleRaley, and you Scarbane. Special shout out to MiteyMights, DirectorSpy, you’re a wonderful person. leggd, go to Starbucks and tell them Tabletop Squadron says you deserve a macchiato. WesternShadow, thank you for your enthusiasm, and TheBrokenLegacy, may your dice ever roll triumphs.

If you’re keeping count that’s seven reviews. We only need three more to unlock super-secret art. It’s a lot of fun, and we’ll post it all over social media, so if you like us head on over there and tell the iTunes community. Maybe tell a friend. Once we hit this milestone we’ll come up with something else to bribe you into telling people about the show, so if you like content, review our show.

Anyway! On to the episode.


NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 4 of Tabletop Squadron. I’m your hosting game master, Nick. I’m gonna go around the table. Introduce yourselves and say who you are playing.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan.

HUDSON: I’m Hudson, and I play Tink.

STEVEN: I’m not Hudson, I’m actually Steven, (distant laughter) and I play Sabos Niks.

LAURA: I’m also not Steven… Wow!

STEVEN: I Am Steven.

CAMERON: You’re not Hudson, either! (laughs)


LAURA: And I’m also not Hudson.

STEVEN: Yeah, me neither.

HUDSON: Wooow.

LAURA: I’m definitely not Hudson.

STEVEN: Anyway!

CAMERON: Anyway. (giggling) I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma.

LAURA: I am also Cameron, though. (laughter) I’m not Steven or Hudson, but I am also Cameron.

STEVEN: I am in fact Cameron.

NICK: And now, let’s roll our Destiny points. I got it right. Oh yeah.

CAMERON: Good job. One dark side. Bad job.

STEVEN: Two light side.


STEVEN: ‘Light’ side.

LAURA: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side.


LAURA: We did so well.

CAMERON: Four light side, two dark side.

NICK: Alright. When we last left off you all had been given a rare moment of privacy and relaxation in your garden shed, and—

STEVEN: Guest quarters.

NICK: –guest quarters, and had been bedding down for the evening. We’ll open it up there.

LAURA: Xianna immediately sees that it’s two bunk beds and yells out, (gasps) “Top bunk! I call the top bunk!”

STEVEN: “Which one?”

LAURA: “The… right side. Yes.”

CAMERON: I just go and climb on the top bunk on the left.


HUDSON: I take the bottom bunk. That’s what I wanted anyway.

STEVEN: I take the bottom bunk, because that’s what’s left.

HUDSON: I’m a bit heavy.

CAMERON: I look around and I notice that there are no cameras or recording equipment or anything in here.

NICK: Mm-hmm. You passed that check.

LAURA: Xianna would like poke her head upside down and look at Tink. “Tink! Do you like being the bottom?” (laughter) And is like smiling, and just staring at him.

HUDSON: I kinda crumple up my face and I don’t respond.

LAURA: I like twist over and look at Sabos. “Sabos! Do you like being the bottom?”

STEVEN: “I am on the bottom.”

LAURA: “Do you like being on the bottom?”

STEVEN: “I mean, I’d prefer the top, but I’ll take bottom.”


LAURA: Xianna just keeps laughing, and sits back up, and is very proud of herself.

HUDSON: Sounds like he’ll take whatever he can get.

LAURA: She is very amused with this.

CAMERON: I’m sitting on the edge of the top bunk. I have my feet swinging very much in Sabos’s area, not purposely trying to hit him, but also since he’s on the bottom bunk there’s just not a lot of space there.

STEVEN: Not trying not to hit me either, though.

CAMERON: Not trying to hit you, but also not really caring if you choose to put your face in the way of my foot.

STEVEN: (laughs) Oh. Cool.

CAMERON: “So, Togrutan.”

STEVEN: “Nautolan.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Again. What is with you two?”

CAMERON: “He introduced himself as Togrutan, so I’m going with it.”

STEVEN: “I’m… Sabos.”

CAMERON: “Nope. You’re Togrutan. Why are you here?”

STEVEN: “Uh, well, I’m from a small outpost on Osaron, not the Togrutan home world.”

CAMERON: “Okay…”

LAURA: “But—“

STEVEN: “And uh, we want to, you know, we’re seeking to establish trade routes throughout the galaxy. We’re trying to be independent of the home world. Kinda the first Togrutans to branch out. I was told that if I were to, you know, help someone scratch their back they could scratch mine, if you will.”

CAMERON: “That does nothing to explain to me why you’re here.”

LAURA: “Yes. That makes no sense.”

CAMERON: “Who’s back were you trying to scratch?”

STEVEN: “Oh, you know, the Corellian.”

CAMERON: “The Corellian’s back?”

LAURA: “The Corellian?!”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Did this Corellian have a name, or did you just see what they look like and just went with it?”

STEVEN: “Ehhh… Sako.”

CAMERON: “Ah, so Sako.”

STEVEN: “Sako.”

CAMERON: “Oh, so the one who was supposed to be with us?”

STEVEN: “Yes. That’s right. I was told if I do some of his bidding he might help me establish some routes between Osaron and Corellia.”

CAMERON: “Okay…”

STEVEN: “Yup.”

CAMERON: “So, we’ve seen your vast expertise at Astrogation and piloting.”

STEVEN: “Yes. Yes.”

CAMERON: “Do you have any actual skills?”

STEVEN: “While I am an expert at Astrogation and piloting, I like to think I am a skilled negotiator.”

CAMERON: “You like to think, or you are?”

STEVEN: “I’m a good pilot, aren’t I?”


STEVEN: “I negotiate as well as I pilot.”

LAURA: “No…”

CAMERON: “Oh great.”

STEVEN: “Okay. Okay. Before—“

LAURA: “You should not talk when we meet people.”

STEVEN: “We didn’t hit the trees. Okay? That’s how my negotiating works.”

LAURA: “Did we not? We did.”

CAMERON: “That was not you. That was me!” (laughs)

STEVEN: “I astrogated that.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. You astrogated to the trees.”

STEVEN: “That’s right. I wanted to test your skills. Why are you here?”

CAMERON: “Because I was hired for a bounty hunter job, because I’m a bounty hunter, and I brought in my mark very quickly and efficiently.”

STEVEN: “So why are you still here?”

LAURA: “Because money!”

CAMERON: “Well, because I’m being paid for a job. I don’t know if you are. Sako might be getting paid for this job.”

STEVEN: “Someone’s getting paid.”

LAURA: “I do not think that someone is you, though.”

STEVEN: “I’m getting paid in trade routes.”

LAURA: “So no.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “That is not money.”

STEVEN: “And in credits.”

LAURA: “That is money. I do not think you are getting those credits, though.”

STEVEN: “Credits aren’t as important on Osaron.”

CAMERON: “Good, because I don’t think you’re getting any.”

LAURA: “Is it a trade based society?”

STEVEN: “It’s more of a hunter gatherer society.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “So, trade based?”

STEVEN: “We’re trying to make it into more of a modern world, almost like the home world.”

LAURA: “So then you want money.”

STEVEN: “Trade routes.”

CAMERON: “So wait, so you’re branching off from the home world to become a different group of Togrutans, and are trying to make it so that the current society more reflects the home world. So, why did you leave?”

STEVEN: “Uh, no. No.”

CAMERON: “That is what you said.”

STEVEN: “Well, there’s a lot of group think that goes on in the Togrutan culture. Us on our colony aren’t as, uh, groupy.”

LAURA: Xianna pops back down, like upside down, and looks at Tink and goes, “That is going nowhere, and I do not think he knows what he is talking about. What is your deal? You are big, and furry.”

HUDSON: “Well, now that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit… What do you wanna know? What do you mean my deal?”

STEVEN: “Top or bottom?”

LAURA: “Like, what is your deal?”

HUDSON: “Well, as a child—Err. How far back? How far back do we need to go here?”


CAMERON: I was born on a Tuesday!

LAURA: “Just like a general… What is your thing? Who do you like? What is—?”

HUDSON: “Well, if you haven’t noticed, my thing is slicing. I’m very, very good at it. That’s why I got picked up for the job. One of the best in the land, actually, in Corellia.”

LAURA: “Okie. Computers. Uh-huh.”

HUDSON: “Yes.”

LAURA: “Anything else?”

HUDSON: “Well, um… I did learn computers in an Empire run school one time, but you can’t really trust the Empire I found out, and so I ditched that. Since then I’ve just been kinda learning on my own, making my own way.”

LAURA: “Where is your home? You say Imperial, but…”

HUDSON: “So, I was on Mandalor as a child, but for the longest—”

LAURA: “You do not look Mandalorian.”

CAMERON: “They normally don’t have quite as much hair.”

LAURA: “Usually they are just humans.”

HUDSON: “Well, my parents were brought there as slaves, thank you very much, if you had to know…”


HUDSON: “…from their original home of Gigor, which is where my race is from, but then they got sent to Mandalor as slaves before they were freed by Duchess Satine. So, there’s my story.”

LAURA: “Cool. I was just curious.”

HUDSON: “What’s your deal?”

STEVEN: “Top.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “I steal things.

HUDSON: “You steal things?”

LAURA: “I am sneaky.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Also, how open are you to a threesome with the Zabrak? He seemed interested. I just want to make sure, you know, keep things open just in case.”

HUDSON: “Well…”

LAURA: “I do not think we will have to, but you know, in the off chance that this will make things easier or if things get weird.”

CAMERON: Karma rolls over so that her head’s now hanging over the bed and just kind of stares at Sabos uncomfortably, and all my head tails just kind of fall around.

STEVEN: I like clear my head tentacles and stare uncomfortably back.

CAMERON: I pull my head back up.

HUDSON: “There was this one time back in college, things just kind of got weird. I had a lot of wine… So, if things happen, they happen is what I say. I try to go with the flow, cautiously.”

LAURA: “Okie. Just checking. Again, I do not think it is going to happen. You know, just checking all the options.”

HUDSON: “Well, thank you for your communication?”

LAURA: “I mean… Okie.”

STEVEN: “It seems like everyone’s open to it here, so… (mumbles)”

CAMERON: “Wait, what?”

HUDSON: “No one even asked you.”


LAURA: “No one asked you, Sabos. No one asked you.”

STEVEN: “I didn’t mean me. I’m not in y’all’s bunk. I’m in this bunk.”

CAMERON: “Oh. Okay. So, everyone referred to that bunk?”

LAURA: “You are on that side of the room. This side is the cool bunk. You are the not cool bunk.”

STEVEN: “I’m an ambassador.”

LAURA: “No you are not.”

STEVEN: “I’m too good for that.”

LAURA: “I do not think you are an official ambassador.”

STEVEN: “Look at my badge.” I hold up the badge.

LAURA: “Does that say Sakos?”

STEVEN: “No. this says Sabos. This is the Osaron official—“ (laughter)

LAURA: Which one does it say?

NICK: It says Sabos on it. Describe your Osaron ambassador’s badge.

STEVEN: It has a picture of Osaron, so basically just a circle with an orange… an orange circle. (laughter) And it says Sabos Niks, and a picture of me with my thumb up, and under that it says Ambassador.

LAURA: “That looks fake.”

STEVEN: “It’s laminated.”

LAURA: “That looks more fake than the fake badges I make.”

STEVEN: “As I said, we don’t have many resources on Osaron.”

LAURA: “Also, why is there just an orange blob? That could be anything.”

STEVEN: “That’s Osaron.”

LAURA: “I mean, again, it could be anything. So it is fake?”

STEVEN: “No. this is the official ambassador badge of Osaron. I know, because I am the official ambassador.”

LAURA: “Mmm… If you say so.”

STEVEN: “If you can make a better badge…”

LAURA: “I mean, maybe.”

STEVEN: “We Togrutans on Osaron might have need for your services.”

LAURA: “I do not have a laminator machine with me.”

STEVEN: “We can work that out.”


NICK: So, as you continue to discuss for a few hours, the camera pulls back. The sun has set. You hear night life in the jungle. As the camera pulls away from the outpost you see patrols going around on the exterior, and there’s a side-wipe that goes across, and suddenly you’re zoomed back in on the outside of your guest quarters, and it’s daytime, early morning.

HUDSON: I yawn as I wake up.

STEVEN: I sit up ambassadorily.

NICK: There’s a brief shot of you all waking up, and then another wipe—maybe this one’s a star wipe, we’ll get ridiculous with it—and you are all geared up and walking into the square in the middle of Outpost 4. You see one of the off-road speeders that was on the expedition yesterday, and Mills, the large guy with dark, lanky hair and scars, is throwing some crates of supplies into a trunk on the back. The speeder, now that you get a closer look, it hovers but also has skids on the bottom for sudden changes like palm tree trunks and underbrush and things. It looks like it seats six people. It’s got three two-person benches and then a large crate strapped to the back that works as a trunk, and he’s putting stuff into that crate back there.

As you walk up he waves at you and says, “Good morning.”

CAMERON: “Good morning.”

STEVEN: “Howdy, Mills.”

LAURA: “Egh.”

HUDSON: “Morning.”

CAMERON: Xianna doesn’t do mornings?

LAURA: Xianna’s not a morning person. She’s still kind of half asleep, and she’s probably leaning against whoever is right next to her, and kind of doing the jerky ‘I am awake, I am awake.’

STEVEN: “Mills, do we happen to know the description of the men we’re looking for today?”

NICK: “Well, there’s a couple of them. Their names are Lira and Williams. One of them is a stormtrooper and the other one’s an officer.”

CAMERON: “Which one is the trooper?”

NICK: “Lira.”

HUDSON: “Are they in love?”

NICK: “I… I don’t care. My job is to go get them.”

HUDSON: “So you’ll be joining us?”

NICK: “Yeah. I’ll be your guide, I guess. I was supposed to keep an eye on you. Falx presumably trusts you, which makes no sense, but the money’s good, and this is a lot more comfortable than where we used to live with all those beasts about, so I’ll take you wherever you need to go, but it’s gonna probably be an hour or so before we’re ready to leave. The speeder’s still charging, so if there’s anything you need to take care of before you go, now would be the time.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful.”

HUDSON: “Bathroom break.”

LAURA: “We literally just left. Did you not go?”

HUDSON: “I have to go a lot when I first wake up.”


LAURA: ‘Okie.”

NICK: Mills is like, “No, no, no. Not, not here in the square. There’s a barracks bathroom over there.”

HUDSON: “Oh. Oh, okay.”

STEVEN: I turn around so I cannot be seen by Karma, and clean my weapon and prepare it.


CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Why…?

STEVEN: I was giving Karma crap about cleaning the bug guts.

NICK: Oh, your actual weapon. Ohh.


CAMERON: His actual weapon. And now you’re really regretting not cleaning it yesterday.

LAURA: “Why do you–? You clean your weapons at night. Why are you do it right now?”

STEVEN: “I’m not cleaning my weapon. Damn it.” I run off.

LAURA: “Okie.”

CAMERON: Karma turns as she hears Xianna say this. (laughs)

NICK: As they all kinda scatter, Mills looks at Xianna and Karma who are still there and says “I’ve got basic supplies, but if you need anything specifically for the jungle there’s a quartermaster off the square over there,” and he points across the square.

CAMERON: “Fabulous.” I’m gonna go that way.

LAURA: “Thank you.” I go that way as well.

NICK: Okie-dokie. You see the building that he pointed out across the way, it looks like a very small shack on the other side of the square. Most of these buildings are probably between 500 and 1,000 square feet, so generally cabin sized. This one looks like an outhouse. As you come up to it, it’s another concrete building but it’s got one of the Star Wars doors on it, so it swooshes open and you see that it actually leads to just a staircase going down. The quartermaster is actually stationed in a basement dug into the ground.

As you go down the stairs, the walls are all dirt crisscrossed with durasteel beams to keep the area stable, and there’s a steel cage that takes up about two thirds of this basement with a bunch of crates of supplies behind it, and there’s a bored looking human behind a glass window. He’s bald with graying, short, cropped hair on the sides and eyes that bug out of his face. His belly presses against the desk in front of him. He makes eye contact with you but says nothing.

CAMERON: “Hey hun, do you have any vibro-swords?”

NICK: (reluctant and disinterested) “Yeah… but… Do you have an order issuing you a vibro-sword? They don’t just give those out.”

CAMERON: “No. I’m wanting to purchase one. We’re about to leave on an expedition for Falx.”

NICK: “Ugh. Vibro… Yeah. If you’re working for him, I guess I can explain the inventory later. Charge you… I don’t know, throw out a number. Normally I don’t have to do this. Uh, 750 credits?” The exact going rate of a vibro-sword.

CAMERON: Yeah. I was seeing if I had Negotiation, but I don’t yet. “Alright.”

NICK: You hand him ‘some credits,’ because Star Wars is super vague about what that looks like depending on what it is.

CAMERON: It’s like two and a half blocks of credits.

LAURA: Or maybe just one stick? I don’t know.

NICK: Gold bars, but sometimes they’re flash drives. Yeah, so you have a vibro-sword. It’s not super fancy, it’s got a tape grip on it, but it looks pretty much fresh out of the box, they just bought the cheapest functioning one that they could.

CAMERON: I go through the ones that they have and like slash with them and stuff to get the one that has the best feel.

NICK: Okay. They’re all identical, but one of them feels like it was wrapped a little bit better.

CAMERON: Cool. I take that one.

NICK: The guy behind the counter, after you’ve asked for the third one, is starting to look really annoyed. “Look, they’re all the same, just take one. I don’t know what you’re doing.”

CAMERON: The one that he hands me that time I do a more flashy slash with and go a little bit closer to him than I had been doing, so that he backs off.

NICK: Yeah. He shuts up, but also does not change his posture at all.

CAMERON: That’s fine. I just wanted him to stop talking.

LAURA: Xianna’s just gonna kinda smile and be like, “Do you have any grenades?”

NICK: “Uh, is this a military outpost? Yeah. What do you want?”

LAURA: “I know, but like… Do you just like give to me? I do not know the rules here. I’m sorry.”

NICK: “Just… they cost money. Just—“

LAURA: “I know they cost money, but you seemed confused about how much it costs with her.”

NICK: “No, I know things. I’m really good—I’m a good quartermaster. Yeah, we’ve got like all the grenades. Half these boxes are probably grenades. That’s why we’re underground. It’s not like I could die, or whatever.”

HUDSON: “I’d like two grenades, please.”

CAMERON: Tink says, walking in from the bathroom.

NICK: Oh, are you there now?

HUDSON: Yeah. Yeah, I’m done.

NICK: “Great, some weird albino Wookie.”

HUDSON: Whoa.”

LAURA: “Excuse me.”

HUDSON: “I’ll take THREE grenades.”

NICK: I don’t know how much grenades cost. How much do grenades cost?

LAURA: Uh, so I have knock-out grenades listed as 120, but that’s not a regular grenade.

NICK: We’ll just do 120, that’s fine. “So, it’s 120 a pop. I’m sure they all cost slightly different, but I don’t feel like looking it up, so either I’m giving you a good deal or I’m ripping you off. I’m not sure. Yeah. You want just like explode grenades?”

LAURA: “I want the exploding grenades.”

HUDSON: “Explode, please.”

NICK: “Okay. Wookie guy, here’s three.” He slides them across, you give him the money.

LAURA: “I want two please.”

NICK: “Okay. Here’s two. It’s fine. Whatever. Maybe I’ll even make sure the Empire gets this money back. Doesn’t matter.”

STEVEN: While they do that, I finally finish cleaning my weapon, go to Mills, ask where everyone is, and then join them in the outhouse.

NICK: Mills looks up from a panel he has open on the speeder, and he’s got a data pad plugged into it, and he’s running some diagnostics. “Why—You’re not with everyone else? What are you even… They’re that way. Go to the outhouse looking building. We’re leaving in like 20 minutes. I hope you get your stuff together.”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

NICK: Okay. Then it cuts back to you walking down the stairs. So, grenades, and a sword, I’m sure you’re definitely gonna wanna use a sword against a kirstens beast. Yeah, that’s a great idea.

STEVEN: “Ooh, I’ll have one of those swords.”

NICK: “You want a sword?”

STEVEN: “What did she get?” I point to Karma.

CAMERON: I slash the sword threateningly at you.

STEVEN: “Yes. Yes.”

NICK: “Sure, 750 credits.”

STEVEN: “Hoo, that’s pretty steep.”

NICK: “Yeah it is.”

CAMERON: “That’s the going rate for a vibro-sword.”

STEVEN: I can negotiate here, so I’m gonna actually try to negotiate with him.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: I’d like a better price. I’m kind of aiming for 500, but if he wants to do better…

NICK: (chuckle) You’re aiming for 500? Okay.

STEVEN: yeah. I want just a better price.

HUDSON: Get triple triumphs and you got it for 200.

NICK: Okay. Roll your Negotiation against his Negotiation, which is a red and two purples.


NICK: And also, you can have a black die because they’ve been irritating him this whole time.

STEVEN: Nah, I’ll just not do that, if that’s cool with you.

NICK: Is that one of your talents?


CAMERON: No, he flipped a light side point to not have the black die.

NICK: Oh. That’s not what that does. You can upgrade one of your greens to a yellow.

STEVEN: Oh. Well, never mind then. We can just put that back, and I’ll see what my talents are. Let’s see… Streetsmarts or Knowledge, that’s not that. Fuck it. Black die.

NICK: If you flip one it’ll upgrade one of your greens to a yellow, or add a green if you have all yellows.


LAURA: He’ll be fine.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: Or not.


NICK: Oh wow.

STEVEN: That would be a fuck ton of—

CAMERON: Two threats.

STEVEN: Two threats, yeah, and nothing else that really happens.

NICK: “Look, so, I report to the Empire. I don’t have to do anything for you all.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I understand. I’m not an imperialist.”

NICK: “Yeah. It’s time for you to stop talking now, buddy. Uh, you can give me 1,000 credits for this vibro-sword, or you can all get out.”

STEVEN: “750 sounds great.”

NICK: “Nope. The price is 1,000 credits.”

LAURA: “Do not—“

STEVEN: “What? What?!”

LAURA: “Sabos, stop it.” Has he given the rest of us all our stuff already?

NICK: yeah. You guys already have your stuff.

LAURA: Okay. Xianna definitely has already put the grenades into her magical pockets and is like kind of backing up with Karma and Tink, being like, “We should go… We should go right now… Let’s go…”

CAMERON: I sheath my sword with a flourish, and just turn in a swing of head tails and walk back up the stairs.

NICK: So it’s just him and Sabos left.

STEVEN: “So, 1,000 is not gonna work.” (laughter)

NICK: “You know, it’s kind of weird that she didn’t have a sword, right?” He says, pointing at Karma as she leaves. “Because she’s obviously good with one, but she didn’t have one. Are you good with a sword?”


NICK: “Okay. Why won’t 1,000 work? You broke?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.” (laughs)

NICK: “You smugglers never have any actual money, which is weird because you work in expensive stuff.”

STEVEN: “It’s a long trip out to Osaron.”

NICK: “Mm. You got anything worth trading?”

STEVEN: “That’s a curious question. Uh… Unless you’re interested in macro binoculars, I’m not entirely sure I got much for you.”

NICK: “How much money do you have?”

STEVEN: “750.”


NICK: “Oh. Well, I notice you’ve got an extra head tail. I’ll take that.”

STEVEN: “Not sure I’m willing to part with my extra head tail.”

NICK: “That’s pretty inconvenient for you, huh?”

STEVEN: “It certainly can be.”

NICK: “It’s weird having someone come into your personal space and immediately say that what is a part of you is not worth what you asked for, isn’t it?”

STEVEN: “Is the vibro-sword a part of you?”

NICK: “This is my inventory. I am the quartermaster.”

STEVEN: “Do you have any smaller cutting items, that might cost less?”

NICK: “I’ve got a vibro-knife, give to you for 200, and your macro binoculars.”

STEVEN: “Well, how about 250 and not the macro binoculars?”

NICK: “Yeah, okay. I was just trying to be mean at this point, but I want you to leave my thing now.”

STEVEN: “I’m cool with a knife.”

NICK: “Okay.”

STEVEN: “Alright.”

NICK: You can have a vibro-knife. I’m pretty sure I overcharged you like crazy for that, but whatever.

STEVEN: (laughing) That’ll work.

LAURA: Eh, they’re not cheap.

NICK: Yeah, well, or undercharged. This guy just wants him to go away. You have a vibro-knife. The stats are in the book.

CAMERON: The stats are right here.

NICK: And we’ll do a scene transition where they shake hands over the vibro-knife and the credits, and it zooms in on their hands, and it zooms out and everybody is in the speeder driving through the jungle.


NICK: Okay. You’re in the speeder. Did anybody volunteer to drive?


STEVEN: Oh, I—Yeah.

HUDSON: I should drive. Wait, is there only one speeder for all of us?

NICK: Yeah, it’s like a six-seater.

STEVEN: Oh yeah, I’m gonna drive.

LAURA: Xianna would’ve immediately called for a center seat, she wants a middle seat.

CAMERON: Are there? I thought it was three rows of two seats.

LAURA: Oh. I heard two rows of three seats. Which one is it?

NICK: It’s three rows of two seats.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

STEVEN: I have Piloting: Planetary. “I’m just really confident in my abilities.”

HUDSON: “Um, I’m gonna take this one after the whole tree incident.” So, I pilot.

STEVEN: “I do not concede.”

HUDSON: “We roll chance cubes to settle this.”

LAURA: Xianna takes both of the back seats.

HUDSON: “Do you need to borrow mine?”

CAMERON: Alright. Roll a force die. If it’s a light side then Tink drives, if it’s a dark side… (laughs)

STEVEN: Alright, let’s do it. Damn!

CAMERON: Tink drives.

HUDSON: Tink drives, light side!

NICK: And you owe him five credits. No, it’s just one light side. I thought it was two light side. Okay. You pull out chance cubes immediately with a glint in your eye and win the roll. You’re driving, Mills is in the seat next to you—

STEVEN: I sit in the passenger—No. No he’s not. (laughs)

NICK: So we flash back to a scene of Mills getting into the passenger seat and you laying a hand on his chest, with like ‘Excuse me.’

STEVEN: “Chance cube.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Okay. He’s like, “Fine. I’ll roll a chance cube. I’m a gambler.” Roll it.

STEVEN: Light, I sit there?

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: Okay. Damn it!

CAMERON: Dark side!

STEVEN: I get in the back seat.

NICK: Mills is like, “Fine, I’ll gamble. It’s fine. I’m just supposed to kind of help you guys figure out where to go. No big deal.” And you say, ‘Well, chance cubes,’ and without even turning from the driver’s seat Tink holds up a cube. You snatch it out of his hand, you roll it, and you immediately lose. Mills goes, “See,” and so he’s in the passenger’s seat.

In the second row there is actually one other person. It is an Imperial officer. He looks to be pretty young, like fresh, pretty nervous. He introduced himself as Spark Duelson. The camera zooms around, you’re all wearing the helicopter earphones with the microphones. “Oh boy. I sure am glad we’re out here in the jungle.”

LAURA: Wait. How old is he?!

NICK: (grinning) Like, 20-ish.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: A young 20.

CAMERON: Xianna is 100% sitting next to him.

NICK: I don’t know why I did the Morty voice. Okay?

LAURA: Xianna got into the back seat at first, and her plan was to spread out, and then she realized there was someone sitting there.

CAMERON: Karma was climbing into the middle seat, saw him, and was like ‘…no,’ and got back down and stood next to Xianna until Xianna got in. (laughter)

LAURA: No, no, Xianna is in the back seat, but she’s in the back seat right behind him and is doing the like, elbows on the back of his chair, leaning forward, being like, “So…” (giggles)

NICK: Which is funny, too, because you’re all connected with microphones, so there’s no reason to do that.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

NICK: “Oh. Oh wow. That sure is exciting. I’m sure excited to go out on this mission. Oh geez.”

CAMERON: So, I get back in the middle seat.

NICK: Spark Duelson. He’s a petty officer. “I specialize in communications!”


STEVEN: “Do you?”

NICK: “Yeah!”

LAURA: “Oh. That is fascinating. Tell me more~”

NICK: He blushes. “Yeah. Well, the funny thing is hyperspace communication, you’d think the higher frequency would—“ and the camera pans out, but he keeps talking for quite a while.

LAURA: No, like straight up, can I make a Charm roll to see if he can just like keep talking and maybe say something he shouldn’t?

NICK: Sure. What a great idea.

LAURA: What would the difficulty be?

NICK: Easy, because he’s a turd, but two black dice because you are driving fast, and also he doesn’t know a whole lot.

LAURA: So then, how many? Two black?

NICK: Two black dice. One because you’re on a speeder, and the other because he doesn’t know that much useful stuff anyway.

LAURA: Two successes.

NICK: Oh. Yeah. “Well, you’d think the higher frequencies would be more important, but actually the low frequencies are more important, especially when we’re bypassing Imperial code to try to get our smuggling equipment out. … Oops.”


LAURA: Uh, where is Tink sitting?

CAMERON: Tink’s driving.

LAURA: Oh, Tink’s driving, so never mind. She does kind of look over at Karma and wink, and then just go, “Oh? Um, why would you say oops? I did not hear anything. I am just so interested in what you are saying.”

NICK: “Oh, that’s good, because if I let loose that the lower frequencies make it easier to bypass Imperial code so we could shed our smuggling equipment, that would be really bad. … Oops.”

LAURA: “Again, I do not understand. It is okay.”

NICK: “Maybe it’s like a nervous tick. I just say oops sometimes. I’m sure it won’t come up. Everything’s fine.”

LAURA: “It is so cute. Do not mind.”

NICK: “Oh, you think I’m cute?” He like clams up and blushes.

CAMERON: (laughing) Karma scoots over towards the wall a little bit more in their seat, kind of like ‘um…’

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: She’s feeling awkward, because he’s the same age as her sons, and she’s like, agh, I don’t wanna think about my kids doing this. I do not want my kids to meet Xianna. (laughter)

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, Xianna’s like 23 or 24.

CAMERON: Yeah, but you seem real dangerous. (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs) Oh yeah. It is not good.

NICK: You drive your speeder for about an hour into the jungle, and you come to a clearing, and there’s some obvious blaster marks on some of the surrounding trees, and like a fight has happened here. Mills signals for Tink to slow down and stop.

HUDSON: I slow down and stop.

NICK: Great. Mills hops out with a (grunts), action man noises, and he’s carrying his stripped down blaster. “This is where we lost track of the original party. We found two of them, but three of them are still missing besides the deserters.”

HUDSON: “Were the two found dead or alive?”

NICK: “They were pretty dead, but I can’t tell if they got shot first or chewed on by some of the local flora and fauna first. By the way, some of the plants also eat, because I said flora and fauna.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “You did say flora.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, the flora kind of freaked me out a little bit. Alright.”

HUDSON: “That’s a little bit scary.”

LAURA: “That is concerning.”

NICK: As he says that, you hear this weird creaking noise from a tree. He goes, “Not today!” And he shoots it twice, and the tree goes still. (laughter) “That’s right! That’s where these scars are from.” He points to some big, long ones down his chest.

LAURA: “A tree? Really?”

CAMERON: “Wow. Alright. Don’t touch trees.”

LAURA: “Okie. Yes. Do not touch the trees.”

NICK: “Basically, if it bleeds you can kill it, but it can also kill you…”

LAURA: “Do the trees—“

NICK: “And everything on this planet bleeds!”

LAURA: “Okie. I was just about to ask if the trees bleed.”

CAMERON: “So we’re shooting all the plants?”

NICK: “Except for the ones you don’t want to make angry. That tree had it coming.”

CAMERON: “Okay…” (laughs)

LAURA: I’m going to stand in the middle.

STEVEN: This makes sense.

NICK: “This is why I’m along. I was born and raised here on Unroola Dawn.”

CAMERON: “I am finding myself more and more grateful that you’re here, Mills.”

NICK: “Me too.” He looks confused for a second, and then goes back to surveying the scenery. “Well, you’re on this mission to try and find these deserters, so get to finding.” He sets up like a cover position on a tree stump and starts scanning the edges of the perimeter.

CAMERON: Could I do a Perception check?

NICK: Perception checks would be good. Survival would be better.

STEVEN: I was gonna roll a Survival.

CAMERON: Okay, you roll Survival.

LAURA: I don’t have Survival. I could try it, though.

HUDSON: I’m doing Perception.

STEVEN: How hard is this Survival check, Mister Master?

LAURA: Actually, I’ll do Perception.

NICK: Average.

LAURA: It’s not dark or anything, is it?

NICK: No. There’s a lot of undergrowth. Perception will be hard. Survival will be average. That’s three purples.

HUDSON: Three successes, two threats.

STEVEN: Two successes and a threat.

LAURA: (groans)

CAMERON: That was a Survival?


CAMERON: Alright. Here comes my Perception…

HUDSON: Xianna got a weird roll.

CAMERON: Hey! You got a Cam roll.

LAURA: Okay, so I rolled a Perception, and it’s definitely a Cam roll. It’s a triumph with the success cancelled out, and a threat.

CAMERON: Nope. I failed.

NICK: Any threats or anything?

CAMERON: Nope, just failures.

HUDSON: I had two successes and two threats.

NICK: Okay. With the successful Survival check by Sabos, you find a trail through some, they look like palms except when you look on the underside there’s a bunch of teeth hanging down, but they’re kind of bent back and broken, and there’s a tree with a blaster mark in it that doesn’t look like a ricochet, it looks like someone shot this tree, and you see a little trail of footsteps with a little bit of blood leading off, at about a 45 degree angle to the left, more west than the way you were driving but still the same general direction you guys were going.

With the successful Perception check, Tink, you see the same thing. You and Sabos are standing on the edge of the clearing pointing. ‘Okay, I see this,’ and he’s able to chime in with his survival skills of ‘you can tell from here that they were hurt, because they’re bleeding…’


HUDSON: Didn’t pick up on that.

LAURA: Uh-huh. Yeah?

NICK: Then, all of those threats kick in right about now. You hear a horrific screeching noise, and a bunch of what look like monkeys drop out of the trees straight down onto you. You look at about four of them. What they look like is capuchin monkeys, but with no legs or arms or tails, and where their tail would be is a hooked crab claw looking thing, and on their tummies are whole bunches of like millipede legs. You don’t get to see a very good look at that because they’re dropping at your faces.


NICK: This is where Xianna’s triumph kicks in, that she happens to be looking up, because she’s looking around like ‘I don’t see shit…’

LAURA: ‘That is not why I am here. I am here to steal things. The bounty hunter an survivalist person can look at trees.’

NICK: Yeah. You’re looking up, tapping your foot, and you see these things drop out of the sky, so you get a shot before a Vigilance roll.

LAURA: “Oh shit!” Yeah. I’m gonna pull out my gun and shoot them. Also, my gun has Quickdraw in it.

NICK: Nice. The gun has Quickdraw?

LAURA: Filed Frontsight, gives you the innate talent of Quickdraw but it does increase the difficulty of checks beyond short.

NICK: Okay. They’re medium. So, it doesn’t upgrade, it increases? So would that make it a hard shot?

LAURA: Increases difficulty of checks beyond short range by one.

NICK: So you get a shot off while they’re still at range, and then you’ll still get to roll initiative, so you might get another shot off before they actually land.

HUDSON: Is our first battle gonna be four monkeys?

NICK: Maybe. (laughs)

HUDSON: That’s great.

NICK: Hey man, don’t shit all over my encounters.

HUDSON: (laughs) No. I’m saying it’s great.

STEVEN: And they’re pretty tasty.

NICK: Good connection.

LAURA: One failure, three advantages.

NICK: Okay. You miss. How would you like to spend those advantages? You can give people blue dice, you can change the environment…

LAURA: I’m gonna give whoever shoots next a blue die, just by the fact that me shooting them lets everyone know where they are.

NICK: Yeah. I think that’s fair.

CAMERON: Amid you yelling ‘oh sheet!’

LAURA: I do yell ‘oh sheet!’ (giggles)

NICK: I need you all to roll Vigilance for me, please.

STEVEN: Oh, wonderful.

HUDSON: Oh great.

CAMERON: Two advantages for Karma.

HUDSON: One advantage.

LAURA: Two successes and one advantage.

STEVEN: Two advantages.

NICK: Wow, y’all are really bad. Could you roll me a yellow and a green for Mills, please?

CAMERON: Yup. Two successes and a triumph.

NICK: Okay. So, Mills is gonna go first.

LAURA: yeah!

STEVEN: Triumphs don’t include successes?

CAMERON: Yes they do.

STEVEN: Oh, they do?

CAMERON: A triumph includes a success, but not an advantage, because the triumph is the better advantage.

STEVEN: Oh, okay. Gotcha.

NICK: So, if you could go ahead and roll for me… his shooting is two greens and a yellow, and it’s an average check, but he gets a blue die for reasons.

CAMERON: That is, heh, five advantages.

HUDSON: Was that blue die from Laura or for other reasons?

NICK: The blue die: He hears ‘oh sheet,’ and immediately action rolls and lands in the middle, points up, and starts shooting. He sees that he’s not gonna be able to move his arms fast enough, but he’s so comfortable with the jungle and having been raised there his whole life, he immediately shoots down in a circle around him, and you realize his blaster is a fully automatic modified rifle.

He shoots, and it sprays a whole bunch of dead leaves and stuff into the air and makes a weird smoky screen thing where anything that might be trying to land on you wouldn’t be able to see as well. He’s going to spend all of his advantages on, the first round, any attack that they do is gonna have a black die. There’s four of them, and four of y’all, so that’s pretty good. That was Mills, being awesome, and he spits to the side and says, “I hate bug monkeys.”

CAMERON: “Oh, these are the cute things? What?”

LAURA: “These are not cute.”

NICK: It’s the next person’s turn.

LAURA: I had two successes and an advantage. Karma should use that first PC slot.

NICK: Okay. One PC slot.

CAMERON: Are they still at medium?

NICK: By now they’re at short range, so they’re probably five or six feet above your head at this point.

CAMERON: I’m gonna shoot ‘em.

LAURA: Shoot ‘em real good.

CAMERON: With my blaster. I’m gonna take the blue die from Xianna.


NICK: Do you want to aim? You could use a maneuver to aim.

CAMERON: Oh hey! I’ll use a maneuver to aim! Another blue die!

NICK: What a great idea. Let’s use the game.

CAMERON: (laughs) Oh right, we’re playing a game. Two successes, two advantages.

NICK: Okay. How much damage is that?

CAMERON: That is 11 damage. I shoot one of the bug monkeys for 11 damage. For my advantages, I want to shoot that monkey into one of its friends to knock it off course so it doesn’t land on someone.

NICK: Okay. It’ll have a black die on its attack, but it’s because its corpse fell into it.


NICK: The bolt—You’re using military grade hardware here, so it basically turns into a donut of a bug monkey, and the shrapnel spins into another one and you hear (animal noise) and then it continues to fall in bullet time. Looks like it’s four, now three times NPC slots. The first one is going to fall directly onto Sabos’s face. Do you have defense of any kind?


NICK: Alright. Can you roll me an average difficulty two green dice? Oh, with a black die because it can’t see very good.

CAMERON: A failure and three advantages.

NICK: Okay. It’ll use the advantages. They have some sort of weird sonar thing going on, so it misses but it begins chittering to one of its friends who is also landing right now on Tink’s face. Tink, do you have any defense or anything?

HUDSON: Mine shows blank, so I don’t think I do. I don’t know if I ever calculated it.

CAMERON: (laughs) So, no.

LAURA: You don’t, no, because you have no armor or anything.

NICK: Okay. The same thing, but with a black die, but also a blue die.

CAMERON: Failure, three advantages.

NICK: Okay. Well, it’s gonna use those three advantages to super boost the last one that is falling straight for Xianna. It’s the one that she missed the first time. It’s also the one that got hit with the shrapnel. So, two black dice, two blue dice.

CAMERON: Four failures and an advantage.

NICK: Wow. These things suck.

CAMERON: I roll so well. This is great.

NICK: Next time Hudson is rolling for the bad guys.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s also yelling, “No! Not my face!”

NICK: It comes flying down. The advantage is that you flinch away, because these things are kind of gross looking. You flinch away, it lands to the ground, but you’re kind of off balance if you try to shoot it so you’ll have a black die on your next attack, but it looks up at you and bears its teeth and hisses, and it has those same giant red bug eyes where you would expect cute, little monkey eyes to be.

LAURA: ‘Nooo!’


NICK: And its tail has that lobster claw thing on it, and it clicks at you a little bit. Now there are three more PC slots. Who would like to go next? These things are now on the ground, one bounced off of Sabos without really doing much, one bounced off of Tink, and the other one just went (falling noise), bump, on the ground away from Xianna.

STEVEN: I’ll shoot.

NICK: Okay. Sabos is gonna try and shoot one of these things. Does the full rifle have any negatives for close range? This thing is engaged with you—


NICK: Well, not engaged like you’re gonna get married. Oh boy.

LAURA: Tell us. How did it propose?

CAMERON: It tried to fall on his face.

STEVEN: It did. It dropped out of the sky on my face.

LAURA: Aww. It dropped down onto one knee and presented a ring.

CAMERON: Of teeth.

LAURA: With a beautiful jewel of Yavin on it. (giggles)

NICK: (weakly) It is at engaged range. That means, because you have your big, giant rifle, that it is +2 difficulty, so instead of an easy check it’s a hard check.


NICK: yeah. Shoot that thing. Or, you could try to shoot one across the place from you, and those are at medium range. Across the clearing, that’s the word I was trying to use. That means the one that tried to kill you—

STEVEN: No, I’ll shoot the one close to me.

NICK: Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.

CAMERON: Do you wanna flip a light side point to upgrade?

STEVEN: Yeah. Can I upgrade one of my dice?


NICK: Ooh, fancy.


STEVEN: Well, there’s a failure and an advantage.

NICK: You miss. This thing hisses at you. How would you like to spend your advantage?

STEVEN: It is pissed off at someone else.

NICK: I think that would take more than one advantage.

CAMERON: You can give the next person a blue die.

STEVEN: Yeah, let’s do that, or just like it slips in the leaves and shit.

NICK: I like that it slips in the leaves. You could give it a black die for that. It’s a little dazed. It’ll be harder to hit you.

CAMERON: Your shot fires up some leaves and they land on top of it.

STEVEN: That’ll work.

CAMERON: So now it has to dig its way out.

NICK: It’s covered in the leaves. You just see the pincer claw come up. It’s like the old vampire myths. It’s picking up one leaf at a time to set it aside.

LAURA: Oh god. It’s gotta count all the leaves now. (laughter)

NICK: Alright. On to whoever is going next.

HUDSON: I wanna go next, because I have a vibro-axe, so I was built for this type of battle.

NICK: Oh, yeah, okay.

CAMERON: (giggling) Against tiny monkeys.

HUDSON: Against tiny monkeys. The one that landed on me, where is that?

NICK: It’s just in the grass next to you scuttling around and missing.

HUDSON: I just try to go, whack, and hit it with my vibro-axe.

NICK: Makes sense. Your difficulty will be two purples.

HUDSON: A success.

NICK: How much damage does your vibro-axe do?

HUDSON: It does Brawn +3, and my Brawn is 3, so 6. Crit 2!

NICK: Well, you didn’t have a crit…

HUDSON: I know. I’m just letting you know. Laughs)

NICK: No, that’s good to know. Thank you. I appreciate that. You cut it cleanly in half and the two halves fall to the ground, and skitter off in separate directions, and then fall down and finish dying.

HUDSON: Ah. I didn’t know they work like that. That’s interesting to know.

CAMERON: Question. On melee, do you add the number of successes to your damage as well?

NICK: Yes.

CAMERON: Okay. So, it was actually one more damage than that, too.

NICK: Okay. That leaves Xianna left.

LAURA: Yeah. I’m going to aim at the one in front of me, and then shoot it.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: Would it be short range by now?

NICK: Yeah. It missed so it’s not engaged with you, but it is short range.

LAURA: What is short range? Average?

CAMERON: Two, yeah.

LAURA: And then, what is my shooting… That would be five successes and one threat.

NICK: Wow. That does, what, 11 damage?

NICK: Yes, 11.

NICK: Dang I’m good. Yeah, it explodes in a puff of purply venom, with a small monkey ‘eep.’

LAURA: “Ew.”

NICK: Yeah. There’s like one little stream of smoke out of a crater from where the monkey used to be. It is gone. You shot it real good. Now we’re back to the top. Mills looks around and says, “I’ll make sure there’s not more of them,” and he goes running off into the jungle.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “No. where are you going? There is still one here.” Xianna’s like pointing at the claw like, ‘No…’

NICK: You hear a tree creaking. He says, “Shut up, tree!” Pew pew, and then goes running off. That comes to a PC slot.

STEVEN: Uh, yeah…

NICK: … Okay. It’s the one by you. You gonna shoot him?

STEVEN: I’m gonna try to stab it with my vibro-knife.

NICK: Okay. (laughs) I’m so excited. The difficulty is two.

CAMERON: So, that’s Melee. Melee is always two.

NICK: Thank you rules expert.

CAMERON: You’re welcome!

STEVEN: Should I upgrade? I don’t know.

NICK: Ah-ha.

CAMERON: You should’ve upgraded.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: So, it’s a failure and two advantages.

NICK: I like this monkey thing so much. How would you like to spend your two advantages?

STEVEN: It’s buried again.

NICK: Okay. It’s more under the dirt.

STEVEN: (laughs) It’s really buried.

NICK: It’s going to spend its maneuver digging itself out of the dirt, I guess. It’ll still have a black die. It’s going to attack you, Sabos.

CAMERON: Alright Hudson, you have to roll this time for the monkey.

HUDSON: Oh, you’re right. What do I roll?

NICK: Two greens and two purples with one black die.

HUDSON: One success, two threats.

NICK: Yay!


NICK: Good job, buddy!

HUDSON: Good die rolls.


NICK: Geez. That’s weird. You said one success and two threats? Here’s what happens. It finally jumps up out of this, you see from where it jumps that it’s actually in a two foot hole at this point because you keep burying it further. It latches onto your chest, and it opens its mouth and it does that really creepy unfolding thing, and some mandibles come out and sink into your chest. It does, with one success, 7 damage.

STEVEN: Oh, of course.

CAMERON: That hits your soak, so you take 3 wounds.

NICK: And it’s super excited, and it makes happy, gloating monkey noises.


NICK: You all see this thing latch onto Sabos and stab him with its weird, monkey bug mouth.

LAURA: “Ah? That is not good.”

HUDSON: “Ooh. Ow.”


NICK: While its head is sunk into his chest the claw tail is snipping at all of you. Click-click-click.

HUDSON: Who’s next?

CAMERON: So, next is a PC slot?

NICK: Yes, PC slot.

CAMERON: Okay. Karma looks at Sabos, and then looks down at her gun… and then is like ‘well, alright, let’s do this,’ and aims her blaster carbine at his face. (laughter)

NICK: Okay…


NICK: Which is especially interesting since it’s on his chest.

STEVEN: Because a knife wouldn’t work.

NICK: She’s like, ‘it would be a mercy to put him down.’

CAMERON: (laughs) I’m aiming at the monkey.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: Xianna’s looking at Karma, looks down at her gun, and then Xianna also looks over at Sabos, and is like, ‘oh no…’ (giggles)

CAMERON: (laughs) Okay. So, there’s no blue dice left or anything, right?


CAMERON: I’m sure you’ll be fine.


CAMERON: (laughing) I am gonna upgrade it so that I have less of a chance of shooting you on accident.

STEVEN: Yup. Yup.

CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine. See, look, you’re fine. One success.


NICK: Ooh, that was close.

LAURA: So close.

CAMERON: That’s 10 damage to the monkey.

NICK: Okay. You shoot him, shoot the monkey in the back of the head, and it splatters its guts onto Sabos’s chest, and falls to the ground. The force transfers into you a little bit. It knocks you back. It feels like you got punched by somebody who wasn’t trying to hurt you too bad.

STEVEN: Great.

NICK: But it was real scary, and the monkey is now dead at your feet. The bug monkey, that’s the race’s name, bug monkey, and by race I mean animal species because this is not a sentient creature.

CAMERON: From Sabos’s point of view, you just saw me look at you, look at my gun, and then kinda shrug and just raise my gun and point it at you no biggie.

STEVEN: Yup. Yup… Um…

CAMERON: So, you feel loved.

STEVEN: “I appreciate you getting the monkey off me.”

CAMERON: “You’re welcome. You should try shooting it next time.”

STEVEN: “I… Mm-hmm.”

HUDSON: I missed the opportunity to say ‘You got a monkey on your front!’ instead of on your back. That wouldn’t have been a good joke.


LAURA: “Is okay.”

NICK: So, Sabos is standing there and he’s got a big, purple splotch on his chest, and as you’re watching you see some red kind of seep out of two pretty good sized holes in his chest.

LAURA: “Do you have medical supplies for yourself?”

STEVEN: “Nah.”

LAURA: “No? (huffs) You owe me.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: She like rummages around in her pockets until she finds a stim pack and like walks up and just jabs it into his throat. You heal 5 wounds.

STEVEN: Oh. That should do it. (laughs)

NICK: So, the stim packs are just like pocket morphine and adrenaline. The bleeding kind of stops, because they have stuff for that, but there’s still some holes in your chest you’re able to bandage up, but you feel great.

LAURA: Well, you heal 5 wounds, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1, then they don’t work.

NICK: Yeah, they become less useful, so yay drugs.

LAURA: Yay! (laughs)

NICK: You’re able to kind of shrug it off. Mills comes charging back into the clearing, and he’s got like seven more of those monkey things in various states of exploded held by the tail. “Here, I got the rest of ‘em. They were trying to make an ambush. These things are wily suckers. So, if we scatter these around the clearing… We’ve been driving for not that long, but I think we probably need to set up. We can plan from here.” He sets about scattering all the monkey guts around the clearing. “That’ll keep the trees from coming after us for a while.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “I don’t believe the trees—How do they move?”

CAMERON: “Are the trees gonna go after the monkeys instead?”

NICK: “No. They just don’t like the smell, and it’ll keep the other monkeys away.”

CAMERON: (quietly) “The trees don’t like the smell?”

LAURA: Xianna is SO concerned at this point. She’s like, ‘The trees? What is this planet? What are we doing on here?’

NICK: Oh, I forgot to mention. Mills has a headband tied around his forehead, like a red long one, and like jungle camo paint on his face which he did not have two minutes ago. ‘I’ve seen some things in the jungle… SO, let’s make camp here for just a minute and come up with a plan—it looks like you guys saw something—and then we’ll move on.”

CAMERON: “Great…”

NICK: And that’s where we’ll end this week’s episode.

(all make dramatic noises)


CAMERON: Lovely.

STEVEN: Just like half a step off.

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Hello Squadron!

We have a short survey that we’re asking you to do. It takes less than 5 minutes, but will hopefully give us information on what we can do better on and what we’re already getting right.

Please keep these responses anonymous and honest.

Find the survey here.


Thanks for listening and may the Force be with you,

Laura, Tabletop One

Tabletop Squadron

Ah yes, the bug-monkey meatballs again. Or is it monkey-bug? For a creature we made up ourselves we sure don’t know anything about it. This week we’re bringing you another version of these little cocktail appetizers. This time they’re made out of mushrooms and lentils. And before you even say “but I don’t like mushrooms” know that once they’re minced, fried, and mixed in you can’t tell they’re there. We promise! A few of our squad mates down right hate mushrooms, but love these.

Faux Bug-Monkey Meatballs


These little meat-less balls are similar to our original Bug-Monkey Meatballs, with a few differences. The biggest is a base of lentils and mushrooms instead of pork and fish. Since the lentils and mushrooms are on the softer side there’s also less soy sauce with more cornstarch and breadcrumbs to help them bind together. Because the mixture is a bit softer they are also baked instead of pan fried. The sauce is almost the same with the exception of the removal of the fish sauce and extra soy sauce to compensate for it.


Ingredients. Piled artistically. Because we could.


The lentils are first cooked in vegetable stock and liquid smoke to give them some extra flavor. Once they’re soft and all the liquid has been absorbed three-fourths get pureed in a food processor. Pureeing some of the lentils creates a base that is easy to form and binds well, while keeping some of the lentils whole gives the “meat”balls more texture so they don’t end up mushy.


Then mushrooms are cooked in a mixture of vegetable oil and coconut oil. The coconut oil will firm up while the mixture rests in the fridge and make these easier to roll into balls, but will melt when cooked and help keep things “juicy”. Once all the moisture from the mushrooms has cooked out and they become crispy we add the garlic and ginger for a minute to release their flavor.


“Meat”ball mixture


Everything is then mixed together and put in the fridge for an hour. This rest time lets the coconut oil solidify. Towards the end of the rest time preheat the oven. We tried pan frying these, like the original Bug-Monkey Meatballs, and it did not work well. The softer mix didn’t hold up and they fell apart. If you are set on pan frying these and are fine with them not being vegan you can add an egg to help create a tighter bind.


“Meat”balls on the baking tray.

Use about a tablespoon of filling and roll into little balls. Make sure you line your baking sheet with either parchment paper or a silicone mat. Don’t use tin foil. These little suckers will stick to the foil.  Bake for 30 minutes, flipping them around every 10 minutes.


While they bake, make the sauce. It’s almost exactly the same as the sauce from the original recipe, except you’ll use the pan the mushrooms were cooked in and extra soy sauce instead of fish sauce.


Once the sauce is done and the balls are baked combine them, place in a bowl (We understand if your bowl isn’t square and fuzzy. We ourselves could only get a square bowl), garnish with green onions, and serve!


Faux-Bug-Monkey Meatballs with toothpicks!


Faux Bug-Monkey Meatballs

1 cup green or brown lentils
2 cups vegetable stock
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke (optional)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil; divided use
3 tablespoons coconut oil; divided use
8 ounces cremini mushrooms; minced
4 cloves finely minced garlic
1 tablespoon minced or grated ginger
4 tablespoons Chinese garlic chives, finely chopped (or a mix of the green part of scallions and regular chives)
1/2 teaspoon ground Sichuan peppercorns
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons sesame oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup breadcrumbs

Prepare lentils by rinsing them and adding to a pot with the vegetable stock and liquid smoke. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat down and simmer covered until all the liquid is absorbed and lentils are tender (about 15-20 minutes).

Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil and 2 tablespoons coconut oil over medium heat in a medium sauté pan. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring frequently, until the mushrooms have lost all moisture and have become crispy. Add the garlic and ginger and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Remove from the heat.

Add 3/4 of the lentils to a food processor and pulse until a thick paste forms. Pour into a large bowl, along with the reserved lentils, the cooked mushroom mix, chives, peppercorns, salt, sugar, sesame oil, soy sauce, cornstarch, breadcrumbs, and the remaining vegetable oil and coconut oil. Stir thoroughly to combine.

Cover with plastic wrap, and place in the refrigerator for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Form into small meatballs, about 1 tablespoon each. Place the meatballs on a parchment or sil-pat lined baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes, rotating the balls every 10 minutes.


For the sauce:

1 clove minced garlic
1/4-1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4-1 teaspoon ground Sichuan peppercorns
3/4 cup vegetable stock or water
3 tablespoons Shaoxing wine
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Chinkiang vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
Cornstarch slurry (2 teaspoons cornstarch dissolved into 1 tablespoon water)

To the skillet the mushrooms were cooked in, add the garlic, red peppers flakes, and Sichuan peppercorns. Stir for about 30 seconds, until the garlic is fragrant.

Add the vegetable stock, Shaoxing wine, soy sauce, vinegar, and sugar. Stir to combine, making sure to scrape up any browned bits on the bottom of the skillet left from the meatballs. Bring to a simmer.

Add the cornstarch slurry and continue to simmer for about 2 minutes, whisking constantly, until the sauce has thickened. Add the meatballs to the sauce, and stir to coat them.

Garnish with sliced green onions and serve with toothpicks.


Word document download: Episode 3 Let’s Get Civilized – Tabletop Squadron

PDF download: Episode 3 Let’s Get Civilized – Tabletop Squadron

Read in browser:

Episode 3- Let’s Get Civilized

The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.

We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to



[00:00:18] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron. A Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your gamemaster. Every Thursday our story follows a theif, a bounty hunter, a fringer and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Thanks for tuning in and we hope you enjoy. But before we get to the episode I have a quick note from Laura. Lots of exciting developments.



[background guitar music]


[00:00:45] – Laura

Hello Squadron. This is Laura here, letting you know that we have some cool new artwork but we will only release it when we hit ten iTunes reviwews. Yes we are holding our own artwork hostage, so please head over to iTunes and leave us a reviwew. Everyone review helps new people find us, so leave us a 5 star review.





[00:01:17] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Episode 3 of Tabletop Squadron, you’re back for more. Isn’t that great. I’m here with the whole party today, going to be doing some stuff and some things. We’ll go around say who you are and what character you were playing.


[00:01:31] – Cameron



[00:01:32] – Nick



[00:01:32] – Cameron

I’m Cameron and I’m playing Karma Naihlo.


[00:01:35] – Steven

Hi I’m not Cameron. I’m actually Stephen, [group laughter] I’m playing Sabos Niks.


[00:01:41] – Nick



[00:01:42] – Hudson

Hi I’m Hudson and I’m playing Tink.


[00:01:45] – Laura

Hi I’m Laura and I’m playing Xianna’fan


[00:01:49] – Nick

and I’m Nick your game master, working on my podcast voice. OK so -uh- you guys got some experience from the last couple of sessions that we played through go around and if you purchased anything to make your characters better please let me know what you did.


[00:02:05] – Hudson

So Tinc used the 20 XP, I purchased an item from the talent tree called defensive slicing when I’m defending a computer system add a black die per rank of defense of slicing to the opponent’s checks. I also leveled up my piloting planetary to level 2.


[00:02:22] – Nick



[00:02:24] – Cameron

All right. So I spent a mystery ten points on some skills that I don’t remember what I upgraded but I also bought two talents from my talent trees for my Skip Tracer tree I’ve got hardboiled so when I’m recovering strain after an encounter I can spend an advantage up to my ranks in hardboiled to cover one wound per advantage. And then I also bought Stalker for my assassins tree [Nick: -oOOoo-] so I had a blue die per rank of stalker to all stealthing coordination checks.


[00:02:55] – Nick

Wow that’s [Cameron: yeah] pretty cool.


[00:02:57] – Cameron

I am Death. Hear me.


[00:03:00] – Laura

I use my point to buy street smarts which is to remove a setback or black dice per rank of street smarts from streetwise or knowledge underworld checks. I bought indistinguishable which upgrades the difficulty of checks to identify my character once per rank of indistinguishable and I got grit so I have plus one strain.


[00:03:21] – Nick



[00:03:22] – Steven

I done used my extra points. Not sure if that’s how a Togrutan talks. [Cameron: oh gosh] To upgrade my piloting space to level 2 and I added a level of galaxy mapper to my fringer tree which I can remove a- it’s a black and white chart but I think [Cameron: black die] it’s a black die per [Nick laughs] rank of galaxy mapper from astrogation checks.


[00:03:42] – Nick

Yeah god [Cameron: that’ll be-] know you need that.


[00:03:44] – Steven

Half the normal time.


[00:03:45] – Cameron

That will be useful.


[00:03:47] – Nick

Right. So that’s what your characters are doing. Time to roll your force points


[00:03:53] – Cameron

Destiny role


[00:03:54] – Nick

Destiny points. [group laughter] Destiny’s Child points. [dice sounds] All the single Togrutans.


[00:04:01] – Cameron

One dark side and


[00:04:03] – Hudson

Quick no one chase waterfalls.


[00:04:05] – Steven

Light side [dice sounds]


[00:04:07] – Hudson

Oooooh it was almost white side but it’s one dark side.


[00:04:10] – Laura

One dark side.


[00:04:11] – Steven

Y’all [Cameron: oh dear] suck


[00:04:13] – Hudson

We suck.


[00:04:14] – Nick



[00:04:14] – Steven

Am I the only one here on the white side?


[00:04:16] – Multiple Speakers



[00:04:17] – Nick

Can we call it light side please?


[00:04:18] – Steven

That’s what I said.


[00:04:19] – Nick

I’m- I’m hearing white side


[00:04:21] – Steven

Oh no, [group laughter] on the light side. Light. Llllliiight.


[00:04:25] – Nick

Light side


[00:04:26] – Steven

Light side


[00:04:28] – Cameron

So we have one light side, 3 dark side


[00:04:30] – Nick

Sweet. All right


[00:04:31] – Cameron

This is going to go great.


[00:04:34] – Steven

Yup We’ll be fine.


[00:04:34] – Nick

So when we last left off you saw an imperial contingent coming into outpost four , you’d kind of gotten a lay of the land and they showed up and you watch them enter. You saw some storm troopers you saw a strange shark like monster with millipede feet all over it called a Kersten’s beast and you also saw the supposedly leader of the outpost a Zabrak man with light tattoos and a all white expeditionary outfit who managed to pack his own martini with him on the trip and he climbed out of the speeder and said oh boy sure is good to be home. And the locals were going to cut down that big shark thing. And as you’re taking in this scene they cut the rope that’s attached to its tail and it falls and hits the ground. And there is a poof of dust and you see the monsters eyes open. They’re bright [Cameron: uh oh] red and they have segmented like insect eyes that you didn’t see under the lids and it -uh- locks with you. And I’m going to need cool checks from everybody


[00:05:45] – Cameron

[whispers] ooh shit.


[00:05:46] – Steven

oh yeah


[00:05:47] – Nick

or I guess that’d be vigilance.


[00:05:48] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] That’d be vigilance, yeah [Nick: -mmhhmm-]


[00:05:48] – Laura



[00:05:50] – Nick

Because this thing immediately starts scuttling towards you.


[00:05:53] – Steven

Are you sure it can’t be a cool check?


[00:05:55] – Nick



[00:05:56] – Cameron

Cause we- we weren’t planning for this to happen.


[00:05:57] – Hudson

What level of difficulty?


[00:05:59] – Cameron

None just the- just the uuh


[00:06:00] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] I just need to know what you guys get.


[00:06:03] – Hudson

Oh [dice sounds] [Steven: I’m sure it’ll be fine]. Two successes.


[00:06:05] – Nick

Your vigilance is one green?


[00:06:07] – Hudson



[00:06:07] – Nick

That’s going to be real bad for you. [Steven says something in the background]


[00:06:08] – Hudson

That’s one will power.


[00:06:09] – Cameron

-uh- will power [Steven: yeah]


[00:06:10] – Laura

One success and two advantages.


[00:06:12] – Cameron

Karma got a success and a triumph. So two successes and a triumph? [Nick: mmhhm]


[00:06:17] – Steven

I got a success.


[00:06:20] – Nick

OK so you got a success and a triumph. Karma, Xianna, what did you get?


[00:06:24] – Laura

One success. Two advantages.


[00:06:26] – Nick

  1. So this monster thing is moving at you surprisingly quickly. You see that it’s tail is actually flicking back and forth like a shark would while swimming but it’s on the ground and you hear this really gross -sttksttksttk- noise as it comes across the dirt and as if in slow motion Karma is able to bring her blaster rifle to bear on this thing as it gets within about ten yards of you. And you can try and do something about this.


[00:06:53] – Cameron

I’mma shoot it


[00:06:54] – Nick

Makes [Cameron: in the face] sense. And so the rest of you are staring aghast at this monster and you’re also noticing that all of the storm troopers who are at parade attention are slowly going for their weapons, much slower than karma would.


[00:07:07] – Cameron

What’s the difficulty? Average? mmkay


[00:07:10] – Nick

But also a black die because gross!


[00:07:13] – Laura



[00:07:14] – Cameron

is there any talent I have?


[00:07:16] – Nick

So roll me that shot.


[00:07:22] – Cameron

Hey [Cameron giggles] two successes three threats.


[00:07:26] – Nick

Great. So you managed to-


[00:07:28] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Can I  fall prone? [deep base noise] Because there’s a giant shark coming at me and I fall backwards as I shoot?


[00:07:34] – Nick

Absolutely. Three threats is-


[00:07:36] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Three threats is fall prone. I wanna fall prone. [deep base noise]


[00:07:40] – Nick

So -uh- [Cameron: I fall on my butt] so how much damage do you do?


[00:07:42] – Cameron

I do- let’s see. That was my carbine, nine ten, eleven damage.


[00:07:46] – Nick

Wow that’s a pretty solid hit. So you hit it right between the eyes and it stumbles for a second and stumbling on a thousand legs looks pretty interesting but it keeps coming at you. And as Sabos and Xianna go to pull their guns up as well you hear two more shots ring out and it’s the two locals that you saw standing by the speeder and they both draw and fire pretty much in unison just a little behind you and they hit it and you see the light go out of its gross bug eyes and it skids on its nose right up to your feet and it stands still.


[00:08:21] – Cameron

Eeewwww [Nick: that happened ] I just kind of stare at it.


[00:08:25] – Steven

I’ve still kind of want to shoot it.


[00:08:27] – Nick

Go ahead. If you want to. It’s not moving. You don’t really have to roll. How much damage does shooting it do?


[00:08:34] – Steven



[00:08:35] – Nick



[00:08:35] – Laura

Double tap it.


[00:08:36] – Steven

Oh yeah yeah. I- Right.


[00:08:38] – Cameron

You have to have- [Steven: I’mma double tap] you have to have an even number of shots for double tap to work. So…


[00:08:43] – Steven

That’s true.


[00:08:44] – Nick

As you- as you draw your pistol and shoot the-


[00:08:48] – Steven

Oh it’s not a pistol.


[00:08:49] – Cameron

[laughing] It’s his rifle.


[00:08:49] – Nick

Oh, your giant rifle!


[00:08:51] – Steven

This is a blaster.


[00:08:52] – Nick

I forgot. As you unsling your rifle and it just blows the head open in like a fountain of fish guts. I know what fish guts smell like I don’t really know what bug guts smell like but this creature smells like a combination of the two.


[00:09:08] – Steven

I actually could imagine that.


[00:09:10] – Nick

Great. That means my descriptions are perfect. And as you blow it open one of the locals the male they both put their guns back into the speeder and the male kind of shakes his head. Waste of a good trophy. And he walks off to the other side of the speeder and starts to unpack and you have drawn the attention of Mr. White Clothes who says Well that was a surprise. Mills I thought you said you killed the thing. The local shrugs again and he pulls out a vibro-machete looking thing. So it’s like almost vibro-sword bigger than a vibro-knife. Big ‘ol “Now this is a knife” type weapon.


[00:09:48] – Hudson

Vibro-axe level or ?


[00:09:49] – Laura



[00:09:50] – Nick

No it’s not a giant death machine. It’s like not quite a fight people with this weapon but much bigger than a what you would use normally. And he goes over to the Kersten’s beast and starts lopping the head off of it what’s left of the head and mostly a puddle at this point.


[00:10:05] – Cameron

As more and more shark fish bug guts start flying I back up and shake the guts off of me that I assume got on me when Sabos shot its head right in front of me.


[00:10:17] – Nick

Yes. So you didn’t get hit with like big goopy bits but it did shoot a fine purple mist into the air. That’s been kind of raining down. So you’re sort of speckled on your shoulders.


[00:10:28] – Cameron



[00:10:30] – Steven

That’s… trophy juice.


[00:10:31] – Laura

How much is on Xianna, if any?


[00:10:34] – Nick

Probably a little… [Laura: eww] not much. You were a little further away but it definitely it’s- and you can see there’s a lot of it. It definitely atomized a lot and it’s blowing through the crowd and you see a couple of officers drop attention and go eww.


[00:10:50] – Steven

Back on Osiron we’re proud of our trophy juice.


[00:10:54] – Cameron

[laughs] That’s disgusting.


[00:10:56] – Laura

Oh- I- uh- no. just no.


[00:11:01] – Nick

And that being said when you look at the gentleman in the white uniform he’s spotless none of it gets on him. Got some people around him. The guy decapitating it is about elbow deep in purple goop. But white clothes guy is clear. Speaking of him he walks over and says you’re new to the outpost. What brings you here? And he’s looking at Karma because she was the one who shot the thing but he- he addresses the group as a whole.


[00:11:34] – Steven

-uhh-…[Cameron laughs] -uh-.. We had a issue with our astrogation system and ended up here and then tried some of your fine ales


[00:11:46] – Nick



[00:11:47] – Cameron

I think that was straight up an issue with you as an astrogation system not the ship’s.


[00:11:51] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I don’t believe so.


[00:11:54] – Nick

Well I was out in the jungles so I didn’t see as much but I’m sure we’ll be able to look at our orbital observation post and see what went wrong. Maybe we can help with your ship.


[00:12:04] – Steven

Absolutely, -uhh-


[00:12:06] – Cameron

Like I said sir [Steven: the trees just came out of nowhere] I don’t- I don’t think it was the ship. I believe it was him she says looking at Sabos pointedly.


[00:12:15] – Steven

Nah- It was the trees.


[00:12:16] – Laura

It was definitely him.


[00:12:19] – Steven

Well he looks very comfortable watching you guys kind of snipe at each other. And he says Well either way I’ll have someone look at it and he waves a hand and you see a couple of people from the back.


[00:12:29] – Steven

Oh -uh- you- you don’t need to do that. -uh- I think we got it all taken care of.


[00:12:34] – Nick

Oh no no I insist. And a couple of- they look like Imperial engineers start heading out of the outpost.


[00:12:41] – Steven

If [Laura: Xianna-] you could just look at that back of the ship that the rudder thing that would be great. Don’t go in a ship.


[00:12:47] – Laura

Xianna’s kind of like surreptitiously padding her pocket to be like OK. I do have this. That means it’s not on the ship for them to accidentally find.


[00:12:58] – Nick

Was there anything specific you- you wanted to make sure it was in your pockets.


[00:13:01] – Laura

All my drugs.


[00:13:02] – Nick

All your drugs?


[00:13:03] – Laura

All of them.


[00:13:04] – Nick

OK great. Yeah. I would imagine most of your drugs are in your coat. You did hide some stuff around the ship last episode. Where did you?


[00:13:13] – Laura

Oh I hid the weird mask thing in a box. [Nick: -mmhhm-] I don’t think I actually hid that. I think that was just sitting on a shelf. I was looking [Cameron: you found a lot of hiding spots] for hiding places.


[00:13:23] – Nick

So there’s some stuff sitting out and most of your like…very obviously illegal things are on your person.


[00:13:29] – Laura

I would say all of them just, except the mask that’s in a box and the -uh- decanter of whiskey that is now empty on the floor.


[00:13:38] – Nick

  1. This guy watches you kind of talking back and forth he watches the engineers start heading towards the ship he basically just ignores your protests and says Make sure you give it a full sweep and they- they run off and as you’re talking he’s like scratching at one of his little head horns because he’s a Zabrak. So he has like a ring of devil horns which are neat looking and says So you must be here looking for someone. No one comes to Unroola Dawn looking to sightsee.


[00:14:08] – Hudson

Until us!


[00:14:11] – Nick

Rrriiiight [Cameron: just-]


[00:14:12] – Laura



[00:14:13] – Steven

As you can tell-


[00:14:14] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] I feel like that’s a deception check.


[00:14:16] – Laura

Sight seeing. [Hudson: yeah! you wanna do it?] Zat is what we are doing.


[00:14:19] – Nick

Yes I would love a deception check from Tink, that-


[00:14:21] – Steven

As you can tell our friend Tink hasn’t seen places like these.


[00:14:25] – Nick

This is going to be a red and two purples.


[00:14:28] – Laura

You [Hudson: oh noooo] don’t have deception! [group laughs] [Steven: mother fucker] And you’re not very cunning.


[00:14:33] – Hudson

[overlapping Laura] No, I’m not very cunning. Oh this is-


[00:14:35] – Laura

You are just smart.


[00:14:36] – Nick

Wait hang, on let me see. Deception would be probably were- against perception right.


[00:14:42] – Cameron



[00:14:43] – Nick

What is his perception? Oh you’re lucky it’s actually!


[00:14:47] – Hudson

Is it actually a perception check?


[00:14:50] – Cameron



[00:14:50] – Nick

So it’s just- no it’s-


[00:14:51] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] your- your deception goes against his perception


[00:14:54] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] It’s just three purple. He’s actually not trained in perception.


[00:14:55] – Hudson

Oh great.


[00:14:57] – Cameron

All right three purples. OK, cool. [dice sounds]


[00:15:00] – Nick

But flip a darkside point. Go ahead and upgrade one of those.


[00:15:03] – Hudson

To a red?


[00:15:03] – Cameron

To a red.


[00:15:05] – Nick

There we go. Same rule [dice sounds]


[00:15:06] – Multiple Speakers



[00:15:11] – Hudson

Two successes.


[00:15:13] – Cameron



[00:15:14] – Laura

No those cancel out.


[00:15:15] – Hudson

oh wait- with those yeahyeahyeah.


[00:15:17] – Cameron



[00:15:17] – Cameron

A failure and despair.


[00:15:19] – Hudson

A failure and despair. So before anything can happen I try to save it by saying just kidding. [group laughter]


[00:15:27] – Nick

So he looks at you and you get the feeling- he still is smiling at you. He seems very friendly and welcoming but you totally understand that he does not believe your bullshit in the slightest. He’s been here for a while and he understands that. -uh- But with the despair…


[00:15:45] – Laura

And also Xianna knows that Tink has just messed up so badly that she doesn’t even hide it and she sighs and like puts her hand on her head just like [sighs] ahhhhh


[00:15:58] – Hudson

So that happens. So that helps with the despair and he looks back and forth to the four of you and goes Oh smugglers, great! and he starts to walk away towards the large building that you saw previously that’s made of wood. Nice. The mansion he says Well you might as well come and have a meal with me because we probably got some talking to do most smugglers talk to me at one point or another. And he walks away without saying if you’re going to follow him but you also noticed that the locals and still a pretty good amount of Stormtroopers are all just staring at you to see what you’ll do.


[00:16:35] – Laura

Oh Xianna heard [Cameron: I follow him] food and is following him and going  like excuse me. What kind of food?


[00:16:41] – Nick

Well the cooks here are a little barbaric. They do tend to prefer open flame but they make quite a good roast Kersten’s beast.


[00:16:50] – Steven

Oh I’m- I’m down. Yeah. Especially having shot the Kersten’s beast myself.


[00:16:55] – Nick

Yes. Clearly you did it.


[00:16:57] – Cameron

Oh my gosh you shot it once it was dead.


[00:17:00] – Steven

It- I’m not sure how you know it was dead. I mean it was right at your feet when I shot it.


[00:17:04] – Laura

Ze light ‘ad gone out to its’ eyes. Zat is [Steven: not sure about eye light on Osiron] ‘ow we know it was dead.


[00:17:12] – Nick

He -uh- [Cameron sighs] The guy stops and turns around and hearing that the light had gone out of its eyes and he says you seem like my kind of person. By the way my name is Falx, Falx Urnstad. I’m one of the vice governors of this planet. This outpost is mine. And it’s great to meet you. And he holds out a hand to shake. Specifically to Xianna.



Oh Xianna absolutely shakes it, winks and says I am Serene.


[00:17:37] – Nick

Well great to meet you Serene and he throws an arm over you and just starts gesturing towards [Laura: yup] the mansion and says Come along I’ll give you the grand tour and he smells like sandal wood


[00:17:50] – Laura



[00:17:51] – Nick

Yeah. It’s nice and the uniform is very soft. Normally they’re like that institutional fabric that holds up very well. This one’s not. This one is like synth-silk and…


[00:17:59] – Laura

Yeah this guy definitely seems like he has a nice like cashmere silk blend going on.


[00:18:05] – Hudson

Everything Xianna would fall for.



Oh yeah Xianna has a very low bar.. [Hudson laughs]  for what- what “falls for” is.


[00:18:15] – Hudson



[00:18:16] – Laura

That was how words work.



[Steven: Oooh] Mildly interested


[00:18:21] – Cameron

So as I’m following Xianna and dude guy I’d start cleaning the bug mist guts off of my gun.


[00:18:30] – Hudson

Whatwas his name again?


[00:18:31] – Nick



[00:18:31] – Steven

Falx Urnstad


[00:18:33] – Hudson

F-A-L- [Nick: Falx] X?


[00:18:33] – Nick

F-A-L-X Urnstad U-R-N-S-T-A-D and he’s a Zabrak.


[00:18:39] – Steven

I tell karma to wear the purple mist proudly.


[00:18:43] – Cameron

It’s going to rust my gun.


[00:18:45] – Steven

What type of crappy guns do you have…


[00:18:47] – Cameron



[00:18:48] – Steven

-on… where you’re from.


[00:18:50] – Cameron

Yeah. Yup, let’s- [group laughter] let’s continue this thread of conversation. Where am [Steven: let’s not] I from? Togrutan.


[00:18:55] – Steven

uh- Not Orsiron.


[00:18:57] – Cameron

That is correct.


[00:18:58] – Steven

Got ittt.


[00:18:59] – Cameron



[00:19:01] – Steven

The place where the Nautolans are from.


[00:19:03] – Cameron

Which is?


[00:19:04] – Steven



[00:19:05] – Hudson



[00:19:06] – Cameron



[00:19:07] – Steven



[00:19:08] – Cameron

No but I do like that one


[00:19:09] – Steven



[00:19:10] – Cameron



[00:19:11] – Nick

Closer. [group laughter]


[00:19:13] – Hudson

You are getting closer.


[00:19:16] – Steven

Dammit… Yup.


[00:19:17] – Nick

For the confused listeners at home the planet is called Glee Anselm.


[00:19:22] – Steven



[00:19:23] – Nick

It’s a happy planet.


[00:19:24] – Cameron

You don’t hear that! The GM says that!


[00:19:26] – Nick

The narrator booms [Steven: oh right] from the heavens Curious George style.


[00:19:29] – Laura

You don’t hear god! [Cameron: yeah I know!] You’re not important enough.


[00:19:34] – Nick

So as you get close to the mansion the two main double doors swing open. You see exactly what you were expecting to see. It’s extremely stereotypical. A large grand staircase, the rug over the stairs you would expect to be like red crushed velvet but instead its woven reeds. But the reeds are super fine so it’s still like a nice carpet and there’s wings going off in either direction. He leads you back around that behind the staircase and a servant opens the door. It’s very strange to see one of the local humans who are all basically Conan The Barbarian jacked and scary looking people wearing a formal imperial servant’s uniform, all like slim cut and it looks like he’s about to burst every single seam on this thing and he bows and pushes [background piano music] open the door and you see a long banquet hall with a very large table and there is one place sitting at the head on the far side. But as you watch you can see some Droids and one other person wearing servent gear. This one looks to be not a local. So someone that they must’ve brought with them setting four extra places. And he says well make yourself at home have some


[00:20:47] – Hudson

grey stuff?!


[00:20:48] – Nick

It’s delicious.


[00:20:49] – Hudson

All I can think of is be our guest the whole time you’re describing this.


[00:20:52] – Nick

And then he turns into a giant furred monster. No. [Cameron: no!] He says make yourself at home try some appetizers I’m going to go change into something a little more comfortable and I’ll be back. And he turns around and leaves, the large local servant is still holding the door and bowing graciously. But you see that he does not drop eye contact from you and is clearly waiting for you to enter the room.


[00:21:15] – Cameron

I enter the room and walk over the table where I assume there are white cloth napkins.


[00:21:19] – Nick

Oh yeah absolutely.


[00:21:20] – Cameron

I grab the one from one of the spots and finish cleaning my gun


[00:21:24] – Nick



[00:21:25] – Steven

I’ll follow her into the room keeping on my annoying her about like cleaning her gun.


[00:21:29] – Cameron

He- just keep suggesting planet names.


[00:21:31] – Steven

Yeah, that’s actually what I’m doing. I keep on guessing planet names where I think the Nautolans are from.


[00:21:35] – Nick

Hit me with a couple more.


[00:21:37] – Steven



[00:21:39] – Cameron



[00:21:40] – Steven



[00:21:42] – Laura

Zat is offensive.


[00:21:42] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I- I am not even going to respond to that one.


[00:21:47] – Laura

That is just offensive. You should stop right now.


[00:21:50] – Steven

The Wand Where People Don’t Like Purple Mist on Their Gun?


[00:21:53] – Laura

So most lands? [Cameron sighs]


[00:21:55] – Nick

So as you- as you all enter the room-


[00:21:58] – Hudson

Mos Eiseley? [group laughter]


[00:22:01] – Nick

As you- So you clean your gun using one of the tablecloths and one of the droids is a protocol droid says Oh my. And it takes it from you and scurries off to bring you a fresh napkin. Because now this one is gross and they can’t even imagine what that would be like. Why would you do that to my perfect napkins? And off it goes.


[00:22:16] – Cameron

Thought that was kind of the point of napkins.


[00:22:20] – Laura

Well for food not for weird


[00:22:23] – Cameron

Did you not hear that they were serving that beast?


[00:22:26] – Laura

Yes, but-


[00:22:27] – Cameron

It is food!


[00:22:28] – Laura

But like… If you came in covered in fish guts and zen use the napkins to wipe away ze fish guts zat would be a little different zan if you’d used ze napkin to wipe away ze cooked fish [Cameron: cooked fish guts?] off your mouth. No, you don’t eat ze guts… all the time. I do not know. I do not zink zere are fish on Ryloth. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of fish.


[00:22:48] – Nick



[00:22:48] – Laura

It’s mostly a desert planet. So I’m assuming very little.


[00:22:51] – Cameron

What about land sharks?


[00:22:53] – Laura

I mean…. -eh- you grind zat stuff up into like a sausage zen it is different.


[00:23:00] – Nick

So are you all sitting or are you standing near the table what are you guys doing?


[00:23:03] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] Xianna is going to sit next to the head chair. And she looks at everyone she’s like I am going to milk zis. Yes. He seems to like me. I’m going to us zis. Okie? Good.


[00:23:16] – Hudson

Think that’s a little TMI that you’re going to milk him. [group laughter]


[00:23:19] – Laura

Well I mean… Zabraks do seem to be mammalian. Sooo… I could but nnn- Oh Oh oh! you mean- okiee…. Maybe. [group laughter] We will see. We will see.


[00:23:35] – Cameron

Karma slings her gun back around to her back and then sits in the other seat next to the head seat so that one of the boys doesn’t sit there.


[00:23:42] – Steven

Yes Sabos just kind of stands in the background.


[00:23:45] – Nick


[00:23:45] – Hudson

I sit next to Serene.


[00:23:47] – Nick

Hey good job!


[00:23:48] – Hudson

I’m picking up on it.


[00:23:49] – Nick

Sabos, than you would notice first a small astromech droid you know, like R2 D2 or I5 D7 or anyway a small astromech droid with a table hat like they have in the movie on R2 rolls up and it’s got a ring of drinks along the outside they’re all in tumblers. You see some whiskey and you see a bunch of various like tropical looking mixed drinks and then in the middle there are three square bowls and inside there’s little diced up bits of meat with toothpicks in it. You can make a perception check about that if you want.


[00:24:24] – Steven



[00:24:25] – Nick

Because it bumps you in the back of the knees because you were the one still standing up and it’s offering you stuff.


[00:24:30] – Steven

How hard is it?


[00:24:32] – Nick



[00:24:33] – Steven

Oh wait. Actually I want [dice sounds] one of those. That would be one purple?


[00:24:36] – Nick

Yeah just one purple. [dice sounds]


[00:24:41] – Cameron

Three successes and a triumph


[00:24:41] – Steven

[overlapping Steven] Three success and- yeah one triumph.


[00:24:43] – Nick

So you notice off of that platter that this bowl is furry on the outside and with your triumph you realize this is probably like one of those dishes where they cook the meat inside of the animal they got it from. But you see that this creature was like cooked in its own juices and then prepared but it looks good.


[00:25:05] – Steven

Yeah I take a bowl and the- the glass of wh-


[00:25:07] – Nick

Oh- you take the- the whole bowl? The bowl’s [Steven: yeah, just-] like- Okay.


[00:25:10] – Steven

Ah- I- Oh is it like toothpicks already in the cut up meat?-


[00:25:12] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] Yeah there’s toothpicks in the stuff.


[00:25:13] – Steven

Oh, then I’ll grab like a couple of toothpicks. [Nick: Okay] And a glass of whiskey.


[00:25:16] – Nick

Yeah. And with three successes and a triumph like it looks good. [Steven: Yeah] it looks like you probably don’t want to think about it too much but it looks tasty.


[00:25:23] – Hudson

No [Laura: I’m-] poisoning today!


[00:25:25] – Laura

I’m sure tribbles taste fine.


[00:25:27] – Nick

So you grab.. it’s-not-a…


[00:25:29] – Laura

You said a round bowl that was furry and I am immediately [Nick: no it’s a square bowl!] thought- ohhh a square. Okay so they pressed a tribble. [group laughter]


[00:25:35] – Cameron

So it’s a square tribble.


[00:25:36] – Laura

I imagine that if you open-


[00:25:38] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] What’s the duck thing… where you squish the duck and it makes-


[00:25:40] – Laura

Oh! A- It’s like literally translates to pressed [Cameron: pressed] duck.


[00:25:44] – Nick

Oh, well pressed Tribble. Great. The astromech makes its way around the table and you all see that you can roll that same perception check if you want. I’ll say if you want to figure out that it’s weird you can you will all notice that the bowl is furry. -umm- so it’s up to you.


[00:26:01] – Steven

I just start-


[00:26:01] – Hudson

[overlapping Steven] I want to check it out. [dice sounds]


[00:26:02] – Steven

Definitely chewing on the meat.


[00:26:04] – Hudson

I definitely care


[00:26:06] – Laura

A success and two advantages.


[00:26:08] – Nick

So yeah you see that the bowl is furry and that it looks reasonably tasty and you notice that these are imperial issue toothpicks. They were not made here.


[00:26:17] – Laura

Do they have like the little gear imperial symbol on them? [Cameron gasps]


[00:26:20] – Nick

Yeah like burned in to the sides [Cameron: nicceeee]. Yeah, [Laura: I got-] very fancy


[00:26:24] – Cameron

Karma got 3 successes.


[00:26:26] – Nick

So you notice not that it was necessarily cooked in its own juices but like this is not a normal bowl. This is pretty organic.


[00:26:32] – Hudson

One advantage, a success and a triumph.


[00:26:33] – Nick

You notice all that stuff. So you know that they like obviously killed this thing. Drained it out and just cooked it in its own juices and then made it prepared so it didn’t look gross.But…


[00:26:43] – Cameron

Many of us in our past lives had a culinary career.


[00:26:46] – Hudson



[00:26:48] – Nick

Yeah. -uh- Probably.


[00:26:50] – Cameron

Or were just foodies. We all have food blogs.


[00:26:52] – Steven

Being a fringer I’m experienced with the cooking animals in their own juices.


[00:26:57] – Cameron

That makes sense, actually.


[00:26:58] – Steven

It does. [Laura: hmmhmm yeah] [group laughter]


[00:27:00] – Laura

Imma say, like I’m probably okay with it. I’m sure Ryloth is mostly roasted meats. Also I’m going to take the girliest looking drink that’s there and I bet it has like a weird frilly name like a Scarif sunrise or something.


[00:27:13] – Nick

Okay. Describe scarif sunrise.


[00:27:15] – Laura

Okay. A Scarif Sunrise is green on the bottom then orange and then yellow.


[00:27:25] – Nick

Does it come in a special glass. Is there a sunrise glass in the Star Wars universe.


[00:27:29] – Laura

Yeah like a champagne goblet.


[00:27:32] – Hudson



[00:27:32] – Hudson

So -um- this is probably a good time to mention that Tink had a vegan period but it was only in college to impress a girl so I know a lot about food and mostly about how- if food has animals in it or not but not about animal cooking.


[00:27:46] – Nick

Okay that’s- that’s important to know and I’m sure it will come up again. You have busted open the meta plot already. Good work.


[00:27:54] – Hudson

Thank you.


[00:27:56] – Nick

So around this time you guys are eatingggg… appetizers?


[00:28:01] – Multiple Speakers



[00:28:02] – Cameron

I grabbed one toothpick and tasted it and was like OK this is all right.


[00:28:06] – Nick



[00:28:06] – Cameron

And I’ve just been nibbling.


[00:28:08] – Nick

So you’re snacking.


[00:28:09] – Cameron

I did not grab a drink though.


[00:28:11] – Nick

Okay. The astromech droid is basically doing laps of the table. Astromechs, you guys know they’re intelligent they’re smart. It’s not like a Roomba like this thing is just straight up like it told me to serve the room I’m serving the room [Laura: They are] They’re kind of-


[00:28:26] – Laura

So murderous.


[00:28:27] – Nick

Yeah. It- It- You get a very petulant like. Obviously it is following the exact letter of whatever its instructions were and it’s driving around and around this time -uh- Falx re-enters and he’s wearing an entirely different outfit. He’s wearing a blue tunic with like a purplish blue over rap giant scarf poncho thing and like floaty pants


[00:28:49] – Cameron

Thats a lot of words.


[00:28:51] – Nick

Yeah well it’s like a scarf but also bigger and also kind of a poncho. It’s like an extra shirt


[00:28:56] – Cameron



[00:28:57] – Nick

It’s very… You all would know it’s very Corascant-y maybe a little Aldaran-ian thrown in. It’s very high class clothes lots of extra fabric. But he walks in and says well. Seems that you’ve already been enjoying my hospitality. I’d like to welcome you again to outpost 4 and he starts to walk by and the astromech runs into him and he looks at it and for just a second you see like his pleasant exterior drop and he looks a little scary. He looks a little derisive and you see him kind of shove the astromech away and it almost drops its drinks and has to drive very quickly to catch them and it beeps at him. Doo dittly doo doo doo doo. And it drives out of the room and he sits down and it’s like that never happened and he looks really happy he says So let’s talk. Smuggling huh. What brings you to my humble backwater residents?


[00:29:47] – Steven

-uh- You did… sir.


[00:29:49] – Nick

Well yeah. If you’re going to be nitpicky about it but I mean what brings you to Unroola Dawn?


[00:29:55] – Steven

I just saw the trees.


[00:29:55] – Cameron

oh god [Laura sighs] [group laughter]


[00:30:00] – Nick

So if anyone would like to if you want to make a knowledge underworld or a knowledge core worlds?


[00:30:09] – Laura

We’ll do knowledge underworld.


[00:30:11] – Hudson

I can underworld as well. [Steven whispers: yeah whatever]


[00:30:12] – Laura



[00:30:13] – Nick



[00:30:14] – Cameron

Okay I’m rolling core worlds because it’s the exact same check for me so I’mma be different.


[00:30:19] – Nick

Okay. [dice sounds]


[00:30:24] – Cameron

Just a threat


[00:30:26] – Steven

I’ll roll underworld. [dice sounds]


[00:30:30] – Hudson

Four successes and 2 threats.


[00:30:35] – Laura

I had one advantage.


[00:30:37] – Steven

I have two failures and an advantage


[00:30:38] – Nick

So everyone failed. [Steven: Yeah] except for Tink and we got a couple of advantages and a couple of threats in there.


[00:30:46] – Cameron



[00:30:47] – Nick

Okay so Tink you and your experience working as a underground hacker and some things like that have a pretty good sense for when people are trying to get someone to work for them or like a broker or a job-giver-outer and this guy is doing a lot of those same things you feel like having interacted with the Empire before… he wouldn’t have invited you to dinner if he was on the straight and narrow. This guy’s got some stuff going on and he probably wants to help in one way or another. Anybody with advantages recognizes that his outfit is Aldaraanian like it’s very much an Aldaraan politicians outfit. Granted with some upgrades and very nice cloth so this is somebody who may see themselves as like a head of state kind of person. Who had threats?


[00:31:35] – Cameron

Me. [Hudson: me]


[00:31:37] – Nick

Did you succeed?


[00:31:38] – Cameron



[00:31:39] – Nick



[00:31:39] – Hudson

I succeeded with threats.


[00:31:41] – Nick

Tink with your threats. So you have a feeling that this guy probably wants to work with you or to actually help you because he could see himself getting an advantage from it. But you’re also getting very comfortable with that. Probably more so than you should being in the middle of an imperial outpost and then Karma you had a threat?


[00:31:57] – Cameron

Two threats.


[00:31:58] – Nick

Two threats no failures?


[00:31:59] – Cameron

It washed with two threats.


[00:32:02] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] With two threats. Okay. So with two threats. You’re just very into the ambiance right now. The architecture looks very familiar to you and your next perception check in this room you’re probably going to have a black eye because you’re having a lot of trouble focusing. So that’s all of those. He says So I often deal with people in your kind of situations and I may be able to help. If you could just tell me a little more about why you’re here.


[00:32:30] – Laura

So quick question do you ‘appen to ‘ave a box zat you were wanting to ‘ave transported? No reason.


[00:32:37] – Nick

Hmm. That is particularly vague. I like it. I have a lot of boxes. One might even say I specialize in moving things that the empire doesn’t have strongly stated opinions about.


[00:32:50] – Steven

Moving things the empire does NOT have strongly stated opinions about?


[00:32:55] – Nick

Right, things that if I asked may not be a great idea. But they haven’t ever specifically said and I get to keep my little home away from home in top shape.


[00:33:06] – Steven

I see.


[00:33:07] – Hudson

You might be able to help us then. So… we are having to move an item. So [Cameron: yes] I feel very comfortable with him so I say does the word Centennial mean anything to you? [group laughter]


[00:33:22] – Nick

You say Centennial and he’s already- So he had a space martini and he downed that one during the first part. He’s halfway through his second when you say that and he does a spit take -spit noise- centennial? No. You’ve


[00:33:37] – Cameron



[00:33:39] – Nick

Oh Sentinel. I was a little wrong about the smuggling thing. I am a little embarrassed you let me keep going with that for so long. But if you’re moving something for Sentinel yeah I’ve got something he told me to go ahead and get. Do you know where you’re bringing it?


[00:33:56] – Cameron



[00:33:58] – Laura

-Um- Zere was an issue at ze meeting. We did not get all of ze information also. Is ze drink droid coming back?


[00:34:07] – Nick

Yeah I can make that happen. And he snaps his fingers and the droid you hear really angry astromech tootling from behind the closed door. And as soon as it bumps into the door and the door swings open it turns into just like very low muted grumbling and it comes back around with a fresh thing of- of drinks. They were originally just around the outside of the platter. Now it fills the whole platter.


[00:34:29] – Laura

I definitely take a new one but my empty glass on top of it. And then I say zank you. And I boop the astromech just a little bit- just like a little -boop-. I’m like zank you.


[00:34:41] – Nick

The front panel on it opens up and one of those little shock arc welders comes out. -zzzap- and you hear -doo doo doo doo doo- and [Laura: ‘ow rude] Falx snaps his fingers and pulls out a remote with a button on it says don’t make me do this and it like goes -bRRRbrrrr- and drives away and makes jingle bell noises. It is not the nicest of droids but you have another drink. So now that we’re all further supplied with libations where are you taking this thing. It’s a pretty weird artifact.


[00:35:13] – Laura

Again when we do not know.


[00:35:15] – Nick

Oh yes


[00:35:16] – Laura

we are… winging it.


[00:35:18] – Nick

Probably a good choice, Sentinel tends to -uh- bring stuff only with half the information involved. You should have seen what I had to do to get this thing.


[00:35:27] – Cameron

You had to get it from Sentinel as well?


[00:35:29] – Nick

No, Sentinel’s- I thought was the guy who sent you h- Is he not?  And you see him like start reaching under the table.


[00:35:36] – Laura

No no no. He was.


[00:35:38] – Nick

Oh okay.


[00:35:39] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Just the way- Sorry just the way you phrased that sounded like the things I had to do to go through to get this. Because of the way Sentinel’s set stuff up it just sounded like he had also sent you to go get it.


[00:35:49] – Nick

Yeah that’s what happened.


[00:35:51] – Cameron

Okay that’s what I was asking, sorry.


[00:35:53] – Nick

[Overlapping Cameron] Yes. He sent me to go get it and I didn’t know a lot about what was going on. I still don’t but if you’re picking it up that means he probably sent you with some goods for trade and a bunch of credits right? He looks like very happy. He’s leaning back in his chair.


[00:36:07] – Cameron

I’m sure if we have anything your troopers will find it on our ship. We did take HIS ship. So any- there are cargo boxes on there right?


[00:36:19] – Laura

And Xianna is kind of like- gives a glance at Karma, of like “you don’t tell them we don’t have money, you always lie about having money” kind of a look and then like turns back to Falx.


[00:36:34] – Cameron

If Karma could she would raise an eyebrow at Xianna but I don’t think she has eyebrows.


[00:36:39] – Laura

And then once- I guess-


[00:36:41] – Cameron

So her eye triangle shifts slightly on one side.


[00:36:43] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] -Um- either a charmer or deception to look at me like oh no no no. We ‘ave- we ‘ave stuff… to trade. We have zings. I’m- I’m sure. Yes, we do.


[00:36:54] – Nick

All right. Yeah you can roll a….


[00:36:56] – Laura

Yeah would that be-


[00:36:56] – Nick

Whichever one


[00:36:57] – Laura

Charm or deception?


[00:36:59] – Nick

He likes you so you could use either.


[00:37:00] – Laura

Okay. Imma do deception, it’s a higher….


[00:37:02] – Nick

Okay. It will be two purples and flip me another Darkside point to make one of those- so it will be two purples and a red with the flip. [dice sounds]


[00:37:11] – Laura

Two advantages!


[00:37:15] – Nick

Mmm yeah. Anyway particularly you would like to spend those advantages?


[00:37:21] – Laura

-ummm- So even- I’m assuming he’s going to know that I’m- I’m lying. But I would like him to still like me and maybe have him give have there be an implication that even though we don’t have anything we are willing to work something out.


[00:37:38] – Nick

But the implication…


[00:37:38] – Laura

There’s an implication and Xianna is fine with however he takes that implication. [group laughter] [Cameron: oh goodness]


[00:37:47] – Nick

Okay so he- he kind of leans forward in his chair his smirk drops a little and he’s sets his now empty martini glass on the ground. The protocol droid walks out with a decanter of space martini and pours it for him and then shuffles away. There’s- it- so this takes about two minutes because those things walk really slow and he says nothing during that time. So it’s just a very awkward long pause. And he takes a sip and he says well you weren’t kidding when things got out of hand. This is highly irregular. I think we can work something out. I’ve- I’ve got some people I need tracked down and from-


[00:38:29] – Cameron

Karma perks up a little bit.


[00:38:31] – Nick

He notices that says the way you all have responded I think some of you may have some skills to help with that… so I’ll still give you the Stonebreaker, by the way it’s called the Stonebreaker, if you will go and get some deserters out of the jungle. Because I sent some people to go find them and they never reported back.


[00:38:55] – Cameron

How many deserters?


[00:38:56] – Nick



[00:38:57] – Cameron

How long have they been out?


[00:38:58] – Nick

About two weeks. But they can’t have gotten far.


[00:39:02] – Steven

Do you care if they come back alive?


[00:39:05] – Nick

Not particularly.


[00:39:06] – Steven



[00:39:07] – Nick

I just need them identifiable, examples, you know.


[00:39:10] – Hudson

What if we find a group that’s similar to them but not the same people but maybe even better.


[00:39:16] – Cameron

Tink, that is not [Laura: i do-] how bounty hunting works.


[00:39:18] – Laura

Zat is not ‘ow it works.


[00:39:20] – Hudson

I’ll– [Cameron: how many-] I’ll be honest I’m not as experienced in bount- in bounty hunting as these [someone loudly sighs] people.


[00:39:24] – Cameron

[overlapping Hudson] How many people did you send out after them?


[00:39:27] – Nick

  1. Just a small platoon. At Tink’s suggestion he like stands up and starts pacing back and forth at the head of the table saying two people, but better but not the same people. Interesting. Interesting.


[00:39:39] – Laura

Xianna [group laughter] like immediately like puts her like finger over Tinlk’s mouth, like Tink. -shhhhh- Do not talk anymore pleasseee.


[00:39:50] – Hudson

I crumple my face but don’t say anything


[00:39:53] – Laura

or over his little translater thing because he doesn’t have a mouth… visible. He has one, but…


[00:39:58] – Cameron



[00:39:59] – Nick

And he leans over puts his elbows on the back of his chair and says well there’s -uh- while that’s an interesting proposition. I think in this case I’m going to need the actual ones. But you keep in touch big guy, I like the way your brain works. At least I assume you have a brain.


[00:40:16] – Hudson

Yeah I got a brain, I like yours as well.


[00:40:18] – Nick

Thanks. He winks at you and around this time the Imperial and the local servant come in with some big trays of food. It all looks like it was cooked over a spit over an open fire it’s like turkey legs and big roasts and like charred vegetables and things but all the food looks mildly off putting like the turkey legs maybe have one little, little legs still stuck to it that they didn’t clean off like on a shrimp when they don’t quite clean it all, [Cameron: -hhmm] or the roast is by all intents and purposes upside down the way it shaped. Like the leg work backwards just things are slightly weird. The flora and fauna here, not great. All of the vegetables have thorns on them which is why they charge it so it could come off but you like you can see every once while there’s so like a spine that you’re going to have to peel off. But the food if you eat it is delicious. It’s very good.


[00:41:11] – Steven

I eat the food. I also inquire what that amazing appetizer was.


[00:41:16] – Nick

Oh that- that’s -uh-… over here we just call them monkey bugs.


[00:41:20] – Steven



[00:41:20] – Laura



[00:41:20] – Nick

Yeah. In the jungle you might see some of them. They’re -uh-… adorable little critters.


[00:41:26] – Steven

I look forward to trying to make some myself.


[00:41:28] – Nick

So yeah. So you pass through the rest of the meal just with pleasantries. He flirts with Xiana a decent amount but as far as you can tell he also flirts with Tink and he starts to flirt with karma and then I’m assuming that she shuts that down pretty hard.


[00:41:44] – Cameron

Yeah….She answers very politely whenever he tries to engage in conversation but then will just turn back to Sabos and just keep saying no to planet names. [group laughter]


[00:41:58] – Nick

So he gives up on that pretty- pretty quickly. You learn from him he’s been here for like 3 or 4 years at this point. He likes to be kind of the middle man with a lot of stuff- Nothing that’s hyper illegal but stuff that is kind of frowned upon because no one gives a crap about his little backwater station. He figures he’ll do what he can since his career is kind of dead ended and after the meal and everything is delicious and you’re full and he’s sipping on a snifter of dessert martini and there’s been plenty of drinks around he says well you won’t be able to set out at night. I’ll -uh- put you up in the guest corridors next to mine and -uh- there’s a separate building for you and I’ll have you meet up with Mills tomorrow. He’ll set up the expedition for you. He’ll- he’ll be your guide and he like makes a note on a data pad that he pulls out of a pocket under the table says so just when you wake up in the morning go find him in the square and I’ll have you escorted to the guest quarters and he stands up and leaves with a flourish of his cape scarf and the protocol droid from before walks in holding a clean napkin. This one looks very freshly laundered. He says Well if you’ll come with me I’ll show you to the guest quarters and he heads out the front door with that and -shhgg shhggg shhgg shhg shhhgg- super slow pace. It’s like getting stuck behind someone in a hallway that’s not walking as fast as you would want. It’s annoying.


[00:43:24] – Laura



[00:43:24] – Cameron

I follow.


[00:43:27] – Laura

I mean, yeah, we follow. But it’s just the annoying of like “eeehhhhhh”


[00:43:29] – Cameron

Tink’s having to take really small steps.


[00:43:34] – Hudson

Yeah I don’t like this pace.


[00:43:36] – Steven

I just take small footsteps and be like okay this’s cool.


[00:43:40] – Nick

So the building that they’re leading you to is shorter than most of the other ones. And it’s behind some of the taller buildings from where you were staying before so you didn’t see it, if you guys could make me a knowledge either lore, education, or core worlds check?


[00:43:57] – Cameron



[00:43:58] – Nick

Easy. [dice sounds]


[00:44:02] – Laura

One success, two advantages. [dice sounds]


[00:44:08] – Cameron

Two successes and a threat. [dice sounds]


[00:44:13] – Hudson

Oh my… three successes and two advantages. [dice sounds]


[00:44:25] – Steven

[Cameron snickers] A triumph, a succe- triumph and a failure.


[00:44:29] – Cameron

Yup, just a triumph.


[00:44:30] – Steven

So just a triumph [Nick: triumph].


[00:44:31] – Laura



[00:44:32] – Steven



[00:44:33] – Nick

So you all recognize this while everyone who passed recognizes this as a- uh-this is a prefab garden shed. This is not fancy at all. They called it the guest quarters but you can tell this is basically the Star Wars equivalent of that like plastic shed you can get at Wal-Mart so it’s made out of concrete, preassembled, a droid probably put it together in an afternoon. But with all of your advantages as you open it it’s actually quite nice on the inside. It doesn’t have any electricity or water but it doesn’t have cots like it was originally going to have. It has like really nice bunk beds with not prefab mattresses so something that the locals put together and seated in the middle of the room is a large like… heater… lamp. It’s basically like an electric campfire and it’s really pleasant and it’s a nice temperature and it glows nicely and as you open the door the sun begins to set below the trees behind you and you have a moment of peace. As the shuffling of the droid fades back into the distance you hear the- the shut of the door, the troops that have been marching around and doing drills in the square all head off towards their barracks and you can hear like things settling down for the night. It’s a weird moment of peace and you all realize that this is the first real pause you’ve had since you all received those communications a few days ago. Even when you were on the ship it was like tensing up for the unknown or being unconscious after being drunk for some of you. And this is a a quiet down moment before the next thing and you finally have some answers of what you’re doing. And it’s nice. So…


[00:46:16] – Laura

Xianna immediately yells top bunk! I got the top bunk!


[00:46:21] – Hudson

I get bottom bunk. And how much do I hang off the bed? [Laura laughs] Is this a double? Is this double long twin?


[00:46:27] – Nick

[overlapping Hudson] How- how tall how tall are you?


[00:46:30] – Hudson

I am [Nick: like seven feet ish?] [Laura: he is-] [Cameron: seven feet], yes seven feet.


[00:46:32] – Laura

He is two something metres so…


[00:46:35] – Nick

So it’s that awkward length where if you have your head all the way up to the top you’re like mid-calf down hangs off the back. So it’s not even enough that your knees can bend. Yeah. So you have a- a moment of quiet and you all realise that you don’t actually know much about each other.


[00:46:53] – Hudson

I know enough about everyone. Y’all go ahead.


[00:46:55] – Cameron

Can I make a perception check of the shed? [dice sounds]


[00:46:58] – Nick



[00:46:59] – Cameron

To try to see if there’s any recording equipment of any kind.


[00:47:02] – Nick

Sure you can.


[00:47:03] – Cameron

Like microphones? What would the difficulty be? [dice sounds]


[00:47:07] – Nick

You noticed that the shed is like really stripped down. So even with the nicer furnishings and everything the walls are bare concrete so it’s easy. [dice sounds]


[00:47:19] – Cameron

A success and two advantages.


[00:47:21] – Nick

Yeah so you do a quick sweep you don’t really find anything. The walls are pretty much bare there’s not really anywhere anyone would even be able to hide a bug. So you’re pretty sure this room is clear. So as people bed down for the evening and you have a nice moment of peace that’s where we’ll end it for this episode.


[00:47:40] – Nick

Episode 3- BADAAAAA


[00:47:42] – Multiple Speakers



[00:47:45] – Cameron

Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show PLEASE CONSIDER logging in to iTunes and giving us 5star you Viser of views will help listeners to find the show.



Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.



Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.



Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.



Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.




Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58.




Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter.




Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show.



Reach out. See you next time.



Word document download: Episode 2 New Kids On The Block – Tabletop Squadron

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Episode 2- New Kids On The Block

The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.

We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to



[00:00:00] – Intro Music


[00:00:18] – Nick

[guitar background music] Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron. A Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick your gamemaster. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Thanks for tuning in and we hope you enjoy. But before we get to the episode I have a quick note from Laura about some exciting developments.


[00:00:45] – Laura

Hello squadron this Laura here letting you know that we have some cool new artwork but we will only release it when we hit 10 iTunes reviews. Yes. We are holding our own artwork hostage. So please head over to iTunes and leave us a review, every review helps new people find us. So… leave us a 5 star review.


[00:01:17] – Nick

Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron episode 2. I’m here today with everybody let’s go around the table, introduce yourselves and say who you play.


[00:01:26] – Cameron

Hello I’m Cameron and I’m playing Karma.


[00:01:29] – Steven

I’m Stephen. I’m playing Sabos. Or if the rolls go well Councilman Sakko


[00:01:33] – Hudson

I’m Hudson and I’m playing Tink


[00:01:36] – Laura

I’m Laura and I’m playing Xianna.


[00:01:38] – Nick

Great. So when we last left off you guys had-


[00:01:41] – Cameron

Who are you?


[00:01:42] – Nick

I’m Nick


[00:01:43] – Laura

Who are [Nick: hi] you playing?


[00:01:43] – Steven

What do you do?


[00:01:44] – Nick

I’m- I’m in charge of [Cameron: what do you do here?]. I don’t- What do I do here? I think that’s a fair question. I’m everyone else, that’s- that’s what I do.


[00:01:52] – Nick

So all right so before we get started let’s do the destiny roll


[00:01:55] – Steven

yes let’s [dice sounds]


[00:01:57] – Cameron

two light side


[00:01:59] – Hudson

one black


[00:02:00] – Cameron

aww [snickers] dark side


[00:02:01] – Laura

one dark side [dice sounds]


[00:02:03] – Steven

one light side


[00:02:05] – Cameron

Alright yeah three light side, two dark side.


[00:02:07] – Nick

Great. Not too bad. Yeah. OK. When we last left off you… got a job from a mysterious hologram decided to work together for an exorbitant fee.


[00:02:19] – Nick

Were assaulted by stormtroopers in scary black armor got a ship called the Afternoon Delight, got into space, were attacked by a small star destroyer and made a jump to light speed with three failures.


[00:02:39] – Laura

I’m sure it’ll be fine-


[00:02:39] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] and one advantage


[00:02:41] – Nick

and one advantage


[00:02:43] – Laura



[00:02:43] – Hudson

we got [Cameron: an important-] that advantage [Cameron: -destinction] its- thats- that’s some blue dice we will need.


[00:02:49] – Nick

Yeah [Cameron laughing] All right so let’s get started. The camera starts at the back of the cockpit. It’s like that classic Millennium Falcon shot. So it’s looking over the shoulders. Who all is in the cockpit right now? You’ve been in space for like 12 hours at this point so you’ve had time to move around.


[00:03:06] – Laura

Xianna is sleeping.


[00:03:07] – Cameron

I’m in the cockpit and I have my feet up on the dash.


[00:03:10] – Steven

I, Sabos, am in the cockpit.


[00:03:12] – Hudson

I’m rolling my chance cube over and over again and taking down statistics [Cameron laughing]


[00:03:16] – Nick

In the cockpit or somewhere else on the ship.


[00:03:17] – Hudson

[overlapping Nick] Somewhere else on the ship.


[00:03:18] – Nick

  1. Are you doing it on the zero g relaxation bed?


[00:03:22] – Hudson

Yeah. Or actually is there a velvet couch or chair?


[00:03:25] – Nick

Oh absolutely. They’re all over [Hudson: I’m on-] the place [Hudson:I’m on one of them]


[00:03:26] – Laura

I’m assuming everything is velvet.


[00:03:29] – Nick

Yeah. Like that crushed [Hudson: everyone-] red velvet.


[00:03:30] – Hudson

Everyone’s [Laura: yeahh] been- been like picturing purple too, right?


[00:03:33] – Nick

No it’s red [Cameron: it’s red!]


[00:03:34] – Hudson

Oh, red.. velvet


[00:03:34] – Cameron

Like a dark movie theater red.


[00:03:36] – Hudson



[00:03:36] – Nick

You can [Laura: yeah] your- your quarters can be purple.


[00:03:39] – Hudson


[00:03:40] – Nick

It’s the purple room.


[00:03:41] – Hudson

I like to be different. Yeah. Ok purple room.


[00:03:43] – Nick

So your quarters let’s just talk about Tink’s quarters for a second. It’s an extra large bed that’s like sunk into a compartment on the wall. It’s a water bed mattress. The floor is all purple shag carpeting. The walls have that movie theater like it looks soft and you touch it and it’s kind of not, wallpaper but it’s carpet-y stuff and you’re sitting in a purple velvet couch over a gold and glass coffee table rolling your chance cube taking down statistics.


[00:04:15] – Hudson

Laura had a visceral reaction to you saying purple shag carpet [group laughter] no one actually see that.


[00:04:21] – Laura

I [Cameron- hard to hear chatter] mean it’s glorious


[00:04:24] – Hudson



[00:04:24] – Laura



[00:04:26] – Hudson

but, ehhgg


[00:04:26] – Nick

Tink likes it, it reminds him of home.


[00:04:28] – Hudson



[00:04:28] – Laura

ya know- I imagine-


[00:04:29] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] the planet of Gigoran by the way, just purple shag, the whole thing.


[00:04:34] – Laura

Purple shag everywhere


[00:04:35] – Nick

Which is a bummer because their fur shows up on it like really obviously


[00:04:39] – Laura

And it’s really hard to vacuum because of it.


[00:04:41] – Nick

Yeah. So you’re doing that. So the camera is just looking over Karma with her boots on the dash placed ever so carefully amongst all the buttons and dials and controls sticks that are on this.


[00:04:53] – Cameron



[00:04:53] – Nick

There is a big red button that says Do not touch and your- you’ve got your boot- the heel of it kind of wiggling back and forth while you’re humming to yourself and every time it gets really really close to this big red button. Sabos, have you noticed that?


[00:05:08] – Steven

I’m sure I know where I’m going.


[00:05:10] – Nick



[00:05:10] – Cameron

He’s not [Steven laughs] in the cockpit.


[00:05:10] – Nick

He said said he was-


[00:05:12] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] oh I’m in the cockpit. [Cameron: oh you are?] I’m very intently staring out the window because I definitely know where I’m going.


[00:05:16] – Nick

Okay. [Cameron: You realize-] so you’re very focused on that.


[00:05:19] – Steven



[00:05:19] – Cameron

You realize you don’t have to drive while it’s in hyperspace right?


[00:05:22] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I am sure I know where I’m going.


[00:05:24] – Nick

He’s looking [Cameron: cool, well-] for landmarks. [Steven laughs]


[00:05:26] – Cameron

The ship at this point is kind of doing it itself so.


[00:05:28] – Steven



[00:05:31] – Cameron

Alright, good talk.


[00:05:32] – Steven

haha yup


[00:05:32] – Cameron

ooh- during this time at some point I took out the data stick that I stole off the curly haired woman who attacked me and plugged into my -umm- data pad.


[00:05:44] – Nick

So I can [Nick: OoOoh] see what information was on it.


[00:05:46] – Nick

OK what information-


[00:05:47] – Cameron

‘Cause it can’t be tracked while I’m in hyperspace.


[00:05:49] – Nick

Oh yeah that’s true. Okay so from the data stick you learn that the bounty hunter that you tangled with on your way to this mission’s name was Bettany Boatthrower and that she is Corellian and she’s from Coronet originally and so there’s a lot of personal data on there, bounties that she’s taken in. She has one message from the bartender that you met, Jerfrederick Douglass, and he’s basically-


[00:06:15] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] yeah, my friend Freddy.


[00:06:15] – Nick

And your friend Freddy and he’s basically inviting her to the bar on that day for something unrelated and she happened to be there and then it’s… a lot of like business emails. Basically she’s a member of a like bounty hunting tip network. So her sending stuff out to get points and her spending points to get info on stuff. So that’s mostly what’s on there. Was there anything particular you were hoping for?


[00:06:40] – Cameron

I was mostly trying to figure out who she was.


[00:06:43] – Nick

Yeah, so


[00:06:44] – Cameron

Because I did not recognize her.


[00:06:45] – Nick

Yeah she’s pretty small time. And you don’t go to Corellia’s very often so if it’s someone who specializes in Corellia you probably wouldn’t know them. Oh- there’s a letter in there from someone that just says like Nana. And it says “I hope you enjoy the new blaster we saved up such a long time to get it for you”.


[00:07:04] – Cameron

Alright. Also at this point I don’t know that Tink rescued her.



Yeah. That hasn’t come up-


[00:07:09] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] and left her so… I feel a little bit better about having left her blaster where she can easily find it,.


[00:07:14] – Nick

-mhhmm- at the bottom of the canal?


[00:07:17] – Cameron

-Uhh- that she pushed me into. Yes.


[00:07:18] – Nick

  1. -uuh-


[00:07:19] – Cameron

She didn’t want it getting wet. She shouldn’t’ve pushed me into the canal.


[00:07:23] – Nick

So your flipping through this data stick getting information. Sabos is desperately looking for some sort of landmark in hyperspace that will-


[00:07:32] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I’m seeing all of them too. [group laughter]


[00:07:35] – Nick

Oh yeah I recognize that star“.


[00:07:36] – Laura

I don’t think he knows how hyperspace works.


[00:07:38] – Steven

Every landmark. [group laughter]


[00:07:39] – Hudson

Is he convincing himself or no [Steven: noo] one around him?


[00:07:44] – Steven

Yes. [Steven laughs]


[00:07:46] – Nick

And Tink is doing statistics research and -uh- Xianna is sleeping?


[00:07:52] – Laura

Yes she definitely picked a waterbed and-


[00:07:55] – Nick

-mhmm- well they’re all waterbeds.


[00:07:56] – Laura

Well they’re all waterbeds. But she made sure she picked a round one that will rotate [Nick: hmm] and I’m sure that there are gold pillows on it and if there aren’t mirrors on the ceiling I am leaving.


[00:08:09] – Nick

Yeah, no, there’s mirrors -uh-


[00:08:10] – Laura

Yeah there’s mirrors on the ceiling, probably like half the stuff in her pockets are just like thrown about the room. [Nick: Alright] right now, like already, like the weird mask in the box is sitting on a shelf though. She put that on the shelf. [Cameron: The decanter’s on the bedside table-] -uhh- and the Twi’lek totems are on the shelf. The decanter is already empty on the floor. The stopper’s gone… somewhere. Like, her scanner goggles are thrown on the floor and she’s probably like half in the bed? And like… at least one foot is hanging out of the bed.


[00:08:42] – Nick

Okay so I’m picturing her sprawled on her back unconscious one leg kind of dangling. There is a disco ball hanging from the ceiling [Laura: oh definitely] that’s spinning. There’s like-


[00:08:50] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] And it’s on.


[00:08:51] – Nick

There’s low jizz music playing and the bed is rotating so your foot occasionally will kick like [Laura: yeah] your boots or something on the way around. And then we do a quick flashback to when Xianna first walked into the room. What color scheme do you think the room is? Is it the- the red gold?


[00:09:04] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] I’m imagining the dark red and gold, [Nick: okay] like, just gold everywhere.


[00:09:12] – Nick

So Xianna walks, in the comforter on the bed is red and gold leopard print-


[00:09:16] – Laura



[00:09:17] – Cameron



[00:09:18] – Nick

Loth-leopard [Laura: it’s gotta be-] print I guess? [Laura: uhhhm] Space leopard. whatever


[00:09:21] – Laura

Some sort of space cat.


[00:09:21] – Nick

Yeah, space cat and she walks in and she looks around and she goes and she says outloud “if there aren’t mirrors on the ceiling I am leaving” and-


[00:09:30] – Laura

if zere are not mirrors on ze ceiling I am leaving.



Yeah. And you look up and you see mirrors and you [2 clap spounds] clap to yourself and then the disco ball comes down from the ceiling. [Cameron laughing]


[00:09:41] – Laura

Ooooh [Nick: and the bed starts-] zis is definitely my roooom! and I just like go [6 clap sounds] and I just like keep watching it like go up then go down. Then I leave it down and start throwing stuff everywhere.


[00:09:53] – Nick

Then it flashes back forward, does Xianna snore?


[00:09:57] – Laura

-Ehh- Probably not.


[00:09:58] – Nick

okay, to her just drooling slightly out of the side of her mouth while she’s asleep and-


[00:10:02] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] also you definitely described the low jazz music as low jizz music.


[00:10:05] – Nick



[00:10:07] – Multiple Speakers

[various, overlapping murmers] in Star Wars


[00:10:07] – Steven

oh is it really? [Nick: yeah] [Laura: it’s called jizz] ooh!



[group laughter] [group chatter]


[00:10:12] – Nick

Star Wars, yeah


[00:10:12] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] I mean, we all love some hot jizz.


[00:10:13] – Nick

If, so for anyone who isn’t way too into Star Wars, yeah jazz is called jizz music. Gotta get you some of that hot jizz whenever you’re listening to music in Star Wars


[00:10:24] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] We are gonna- We are gonna earn our explicit rating only by saying jizz 40 times a podcast.


[00:10:32] – Nick

So that’s- that’s what everyone is doing and -uhh- Tink, you and Xianna, Xianna comes awake as they feel the ship drop back into normal space. And -uh- I need a vigilance roll from Sabos right now. right now right now right now.


[00:10:49] – Steven



[00:10:49] – Laura

Xianna tumbles out of the bed and is like oh are we here?


[00:10:55] – Steven

[group chatter] -a hard vigilance roll?


[00:10:55] – Cameron

Can he have a blue die cause I’m copiloting?


[00:10:57] – Nick

Not on the vigilance roll, on the piloting check [Cameron: ok cool]


[00:11:00] – Steven

Is there a difficulty [Cameron: nope] associated?


[00:11:01] – Nick

-uuhh- yeah [Cameron: oh] average. ’cause you did say that you were sitt- yeah that’s good- you did say you were sitting up straight.


[00:11:11] – Cameron

Total wash.


[00:11:12] – Nick

-hmm- Great. Well that’s going to make this trick harder. So you drop out of hyperspace. By your calculations you shouldn’t have yet. You’re about 100 yards from a forest. [Cameron laughing] You are well within [background music plays] this planet’s atmosphere and you overshot a little bit and so you frantically grab the stick and try to pull up and Xianna, even with the inertial dampeners, which is really cool Star Wars thing where you don’t get turned into paste  when you turn too hard, you are thrown out of the bed and Tink your chance cube goes bouncing away from you and down [Hudson: noooo] the hallway of the ship. [group laughter]


[00:11:45] – Laura

I take it we are not zere.


[00:11:49] – Steven

-uh- There was a slight miscalculation. Everything is fine up here. You’re good.


[00:11:53] – Cameron

I can see trees [laughter]


[00:11:54] – Nick

and so you desperately [Laura: trees?] need [Cameron: trees!] to pull up so I need a hard pilot check.


[00:11:59] – Steven

It’s a planetary?


[00:12:02] – Nick

No, its still- planetary is -uh- planetary and space are the kind of vehicles you have. You are in a space ship. So it is space and [Steven: wonderful] you have a black die because you did not do well on your vigilance roll.


[00:12:14] – Steven

[whispers] wonderful. Hope this is going to be fine.


[00:12:15] – Cameron

can he have a blue die though


[00:12:17] – Nick

yes, you can have [Cameron: for the piloting check, ’cause I’m copiloting]  a blue die because… -uh- probably she has [Cameron: I- I removed-] kicked the stick-


[00:12:24] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] my feet from the dash very quickly when I saw trees.


[00:12:26] – Steven

Lemme just double check that I don’t have [muffled, hard to hear speech. most likely: anything] to help me out here. [dice sounds]


[00:12:32] – Nick

I’m really excited that Sabos is the pilot. You guys, this is great.


[00:12:36] – Steven

Yup, oop!


[00:12:37] – Laura

It’ll all be fine. [Dice sounds]


[00:12:38] – Nick

Look at this team. We’re gonna to do great.


[00:12:40] – Steven



[00:12:41] – Cameron



[00:12:42] – Nick



[00:12:42] – Cameron

Hold on..


[00:12:43] – Steven



[00:12:44] – Laura

I mean I see a lot of threats.


[00:12:45] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Hold up. Recalculating.


[00:12:46] – Hudson



[00:12:47] – Nick

You know how I like to spend threats you guys.


[00:12:50] – Laura

I see three.


[00:12:51] – Cameron

Okay so [Nick: yayy][Laura: oh boy] a success, three threats and a triumph.


[00:12:55] – Nick

huh… OK. It is a very Cameron type role. [Cameron: good job Steven] So the success you managed to pull up above the treeline, the triumph that thing that had been knocked loose from the ship snaps back into place. [Steven: Oh yes] -uh- It was a rear stabilizer that was going to make doing things very difficult until you figured that out and a little- I’m assuming Tink is probably jacked into the system diagnostics on his data pad right now. Like that’s what you do when you enter an area is just like connect to every network. [Hudson: yeah] So as that sounds back into place a little diagnostic pop up shows up on your data pattern as you’re like chasing after your chance cube and it’s rolling around in the hallway and it says like “rear stabilizer detached. temporary fix” and it shows you like exactly how to fix it. So all you have to go out there in like is go out there and weld something down and it’s good.


[00:13:45] – Hudson

Remind me to tell you all about a slight issue later.



-uh- So thats’s-


[00:13:50] – Laura

I zink we are having a slight issue right now.


[00:13:53] – Steven

No we are fine.


[00:13:54] – Hudson

[Overlapping Steven] This is not a- This is not a slight issue


[00:13:55] – Nick

So Xianna – Xianna, goes actually- as- with all the acceleration in the sudden change, she’s sliding down the hall and she slides past -uh- Tink with her arms crossed saying that. So that’s fun


[00:14:06] – Cameron

Proud of you Steven.


[00:14:08] – Steven

That was a good roll.


[00:14:08] – Nick

Yeah. Good job. And then the three threats. Hey guys guess what happens if you get three threats in Star Wars.


[00:14:13] – Cameron

You fall down


[00:14:14] – Nick

You fall prone! [dramatic bass noise] It’s my favorite thing ever. So you fall out of the chair.


[00:14:20] – Cameron

The ship falls prone. [dramatic bass noise]


[00:14:23] – Nick

No- not the ship! [Cameron laughing]


[00:14:24] – Laura

The ship falls down.


[00:14:24] – Nick

Sabos falls prone. [dramatic bass noise]


[00:14:27] – Nick

And the ship is actually very nice even if it’s a little tacky. And so as he falls out of the chair it senses no one’s in the pilot’s seat and gives you full control of the ship Karma.


[00:14:36] – Cameron

Oh goodness!


[00:14:37] – Nick

And with the acceleration to avoid hitting the trees he had to punch it. So as he falls backwards out of his chair he goes sliding off down the hall and into the rest of the ship. So…


[00:14:47] – Cameron

Alright I’ll just hang out in here.


[00:14:49] – Nick

And as you’re flying you get readouts of like local scanning and fauna. There’s some very big animals although you can’t identify what they are. And you see that the planet- well you would have seen from space if you had been in space. [Cameron giggles] But you can gather kind of from what you can see the planet is mostly large forest and there’s a lot of scrub bush and stuff everywhere but it’s mostly pine trees and things like that and not like Douglas fir pine trees it’s like the big tall ones that just have pine needles at the top. And -uh- you also see some lakes like some mega lakes scattered around. So Lake Erie sized give or take you imagine, because it disappears on the horizon. But the way it’s shaped you can see that it’s not an ocean.


[00:15:31] – Steven

As I slide down the hallway and past them I say “Hey guys, I came down here to tell you I think we’re here“. [group laughter]


[00:15:38] – Hudson



[00:15:40] – Nick

And at this point the inertial dampener has caught up and you guys are able to stand up and move freely about the cabin. You made it to the back by the wet bar.


[00:15:48] – Steven



[00:15:49] – Cameron

Karma says over the coms This is why we wear seat belts.


[00:15:53] – Laura

Ze ship ‘as seatbelts?


[00:15:55] – Cameron

Yep I’m wearing mine [Cameron snickers]


[00:15:57] – Laura

Zere were not belt in my bed. I checked.


[00:15:59] – Cameron

That does make sense. I was talking specifically about the pilot flying through the back.


[00:16:03] – Steven

[Overlapping Cameron] The captain’s chair did not have a seatbelt and so-


[00:16:05] – Cameron

It- it totally does! I can see it.


[00:16:08] – Steven

It was not attached.


[00:16:09] – Hudson

Were there [Cameron: well yeah. no duh ] restraints on the bed?


[00:16:12] – Laura

Noo. I checked for those. [group laughter] Zere were none.


[00:16:15] – Hudson


[00:16:16] – Steven

The important thing is we miss the trees. I mean the important thing is we are definitely at the planet.


[00:16:21] – Laura

Are we?


[00:16:22] – Steven

We’re at a planet. Aren’t we?


[00:16:23] – Cameron

[Overlapping Steven] Can confirm we are at a planet.


[00:16:26] – Nick

That sounds like a check doesn’t it.


[00:16:27] – Cameron

It does sound like a check.


[00:16:28] – Nick

Either astrogation- this is all Karma ’cause she’s the only one that’s nearby.


[00:16:33] – Cameron

I can see it.


[00:16:34] – Steven

I can’t look out the back window by the wet bar?


[00:16:35] – Nick

I mean you can see trees in a lake.


[00:16:38] – Steven



[00:16:38] – Nick

astrogation or knowledge outer rim.


[00:16:42] – Steven

Can I use outer rim with my trees [Cameron: ss-what’s the- ]and a lake?


[00:16:44] – Nick



[00:16:45] – Cameron

what’s- what’s the difficulty?


[00:16:47] – Nick

Average… you’re here and you have all the readouts of everything.


[00:16:49] – Cameron

Can I have a blue die from looking at the ships navi-computer?


[00:16:55] – Nick



[00:16:55] – Multiple Speakers

[hard to hear chatter]


[00:16:58] – Nick

so half [Cameron: -an idea of where we are?] of the navi-computer- half of the navi-computer readouts are just like question marks and “UNKs” and things because it was not expecting there to be a planet here. It had been assured that there was not a planet here when someone programmed it.


[00:17:15] – Cameron

-mmhmmm- [dice sounds] oh goodness.


[00:17:16] – Cameron

So… [Laura: ooooew] I fail with four advantages?


[00:17:21] – Nick

great. You don’t fall prone.


[00:17:23] – Cameron

Correct. I don’t think I would from a knowledge check.


[00:17:26] – Nick

How did you do Sabos?


[00:17:27] – Steven

So I have three threats [Cameron: also two-] two successes and two- so I have-


[00:17:31] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] Yes, you two threat- or one threat and two successes [Steven at the same time: two successes].


[00:17:34] – Nick

Okay so you know you’re definitely on Unroola Dawn. The threat is… you’ve been here before so that’s part of the reason you recognize it but some people may recognize you if you are unlucky [Steven: mhhmmm] and you had-


[00:17:47] – Cameron

Four advantages.


[00:17:49] – Nick

How do you want to spend the advantages. [Cameron: hmmmm] Four is a lot.


[00:17:53] – Cameron

We’re approaching the lake. There is a nice clearing to land the ship in. [Nick: mhhmm] What else?


[00:17:59] – Nick

So one of the advantages you can see that there is a settlement near the lake as well.


[00:18:04] – Laura

Yeah [Hudson: you can make the perfect cocktail] Does Tink have to fix anything with the ship? [group chatter]


[00:18:08] – Cameron

He’ll have to repair the dampener once we land.


[00:18:10] – Nick

[overlapping Cameron] but it will be really easy to do.


[00:18:12] – Laura



[00:18:12] – Hudson

It’s not bad


[00:18:13] – Nick

[overlapping Hudson] It’ll take him like five minutes.


[00:18:14] – Laura

While we’re landing and I’m up, can I get an advantage for a skullduggery check to just check around the ship to see if there’s any cool hiding spaces?


[00:18:23] – Nick



[00:18:24] – Cameron

Yep I’ll give you a blue day.


[00:18:26] – Laura

Is there difficulty?


[00:18:27] – Nick

Probably hard, because if they are cool they’ll be hard to find right? Oh and one of your advantages can be spent on the navi-computer resets and you see that it’s outpost 4 which is where you were supposed to go. [dice sounds]


[00:18:40] – Steven

Oh we made it.


[00:18:41] – Nick

good work


[00:18:42] – Cameron

but you don’t know that- you can’t see it. [Steven laughing]


[00:18:46] – Laura

Okay so that’s 2 succ- no, 3 successes a threat, and a triumph.


[00:18:52] – Cameron

four successes.


[00:18:54] – Laura

Oh! four suc- [Cameron: the triumph as well] yeah, the triumph has a success in it.


[00:18:57] – Nick

Okay so with the triumph and all those successes, yeah there are several good hiding places. In fact one might say mechanically that one of the hard points on the ship is used up by smuggler compartments


[00:19:08] – Laura



[00:19:08] – Nick

yeah, rather than it being like floor panels or something there’s a lot of little nooks and crannies where things can go. There are some that are bigger for like big size stuff but there’s lots of small little stache-y hideaways. How many threats was it?


[00:19:21] – Cameron



[00:19:21] – Nick

So the threat is one of the places where you think is a hiding place is actually like a garbage disposal and you may accidently throw something out if you put it there.


[00:19:31] – Laura

oh, okay.



It looks like a hiding place but it’s got a little trap door-


[00:19:35] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] [in a foreboding voice] and you don’t know which one.


[00:19:37] – Nick

…yeah. So cool that may come up so you, karma, you see that you were approaching that open clearing by the lake and there is a settlement over there and it is outpost four, which is one of the things that you overheard your contact telling you you needed to visit


[00:19:54] – Cameron

Cool. I’mma go fly over to that clearing.


[00:19:57] – Nick

Okay you’re going to land?


[00:19:59] – Cameron



[00:20:00] – Nick

So that takes probably like five or six minutes to come in. No one comms you. There doesn’t appear to be air traffic control or anything you can just come in for a landing. What are you guys doing during that five or six minutes everybody but karma.


[00:20:12] – Hudson

Getting my tool kit together.


[00:20:13] – Nick



[00:20:14] – Laura

Putting my shoes, on picking [Cameron laughing] my stuff up and then looking around the ship. I’m probably like looking for the compartments like as I’m putting shoes on and stuff so I’m just like walkin’ around like putting shoes on like poking panels.


[00:20:26] – Nick

-hmm- Ok


[00:20:27] – Steven

I’m taking a drink. Very happy with myself. I didn’t crash in the trees.


[00:20:30] – Nick

OK what Sabos’s drink of choice?


[00:20:32] – Steven

Corellian whiskey.


[00:20:33] – Nick

OK the wet bar is not as well stocked as you would expect.


[00:20:36] – Steven

I’m sure it has some Corellian…


[00:20:38] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] the- so it has some whiskey it has some space gin it has like some of the main stuff it doesn’t really have any mixers and most of the bottles are only like a quarter full. So it’s like this ship was taken on a pretty long journey and then never restocked.


[00:20:54] – Hudson

doesitave a White Gigoran in it? It’s a white russian with hair


[00:21:01] – Multiple Speakers

Eww [group snickers]


[00:21:01] – Nick

So you [Steven- hard to hear chatter] have the hair to supply. There is some space BalBailey’s but it’s not refrigerated so it’s kind of sour.


[00:21:09] – Hudson

Get my tools together anyway. Don’t need a drink before a job.


[00:21:12] – Nick

Cool. So -uh- Sabos is just leaning against the bar looking out the back window acting like nothing ever went wrong everything is great.


[00:21:18] – Steven

Everything went to plan and we’re on a planet.


[00:21:20] – Nick

Yeah. So [Steven laughs] you can see that outpost 4 is a large camp settled in the wilderness of Unroola Dawn. It has a ring of durasteel walls around it that slope inward and you can see the tops of prefabricated buildings peeking over the wall you can see several imperial shuttles and a couple of civilian ships parked in the clearing outside. There is a large automated gate on one side. It’s like a… a sliding flat door that has overlapping triangles that go across and you can see that the settlement is pretty plain. It has dirt roads and most of the buildings are like one story and square and they’re arranged in kind of concentric circles around the middle of the settlement where there is a larger building. That’s about all you can tell before you settle into a landing. So. You have landed. Congratulations, you did not die. This is good.


[00:22:09] – Cameron

Karma [Hudson: I whi-] like slowly peels her fingers off of… [group laughter] like- the controls and like rolls her neck and stretches like “Okay that was stressful“. Which you all hear because the ship’s comms are on.


[00:22:22] – Laura

Yeah Xianna looks over at Sakos and is like “do you actually know ‘ow to fly?”


[00:22:30] – Steven

we’re on a planet aren’t we?


[00:22:32] – Cameron

He flew alright. It’s the astrogation checks I’m not so sure of.


[00:22:36] – Steven

I might have overshot the- well here’s what happened. You remember that orbiting destroyer thing that was just such a problem.


[00:22:45] – Laura

You mean…


[00:22:45] – Cameron

that left?


[00:22:47] – Laura

the ship?


[00:22:48] – Steven

I decided to skip the orbit this time. Boom.


[00:22:51] – Laura

I do not zink zat [Steven: we just went right on it] is a good zing. I zink zere’s a reason zat ships usually stop zat.


[00:22:59] – Nick

I want to flip a darkside point and Xianna you, you’re still talking a big game but you’re genuinely unsure if he did it on purpose or not. [Steven and Laura laughing] You probably wouldn’t be thrilled to see him piloting but also you think maybe he’s good at it. You’re not sure.


[00:23:16] – Laura

Oh no. I’m going to let him pilot again. I’m just like almost legitimately concerned if like is that actually how that is? [overlapped, hard to hear speech] I know but like does it?? [group laughter]


[00:23:30] – Steven

We just orbited the trees instead.


[00:23:32] – Hudson

Can I look out? I was about to like get my tool bag, whistle a tune and go out there to fix the thing. But can I do a perception check to look and see if anyone’s around the ship?


[00:23:42] – Nick

Sure. It’s pretty easy. In fact I would say it was easy.


[00:23:48] – Hudson

Oh nice.


[00:23:49] – Steven

How convenient. [dice sounds]



I’m really excited about how many of our- our characters are trained in perception in this game.


[00:23:56] – Hudson

One success


[00:23:57] – Nick

So you can see this is the equivalent of like concert parking. So it was it was a grass field. It’s all kind of beaten down, the grass is mostly dead but it’s not muddy because of the thatch effect and there’s not really anyone around the ships, the civilian ships appear to be to have their own onboard security systems, the imperial shuttles are all folded up but over by the gate you can see that there are two storm troopers standing guard.


[00:24:26] – Steven

What are they dressed him?


[00:24:28] – Nick

It’s the forest cammo ones from Endor. [Laura: OOoooO] So they’re like the scout troopers with those stupid visors that make it so they can’t see. it’s the black body suit and then the armor panels are all like the spray painty cammo.


[00:24:40] – Hudson

So I walk off the ship and go to the back to fix the- what do I fix?


[00:24:44] – Cameron

the dampener


[00:24:44] – Steven

horizontal stabilizer


[00:24:46] – Nick

The- the rear stabilizer. You guys were all close.


[00:24:48] – Hudson

I walk off of the ship to fix the rear stabilizer.


[00:24:51] – Nick

  1. So you climb down the scouts the scout troopers see you make like the tap on the side of the visor hand gesture that they’re acknowledging that you’re there and it’s aimed towards you and each other and they don’t mess with you. They just kind of stay put.


[00:25:06] – Hudson

I do a similar action back.


[00:25:08] – Nick

You tap [Hudson: tap- tap on the side of my head] on the side of the head and they just kind of ignore you and go back to their thing. They look bored which is weird for storm troopers. Well have you ever interacted with Storm Troopers before, besides being shot at by them a second ago?


[00:25:19] – Hudson

Yeah. I mean off and on, just that nothing ever- never been like arrested by them I don’t think.


[00:25:26] – Nick

  1. So if you’ve ever seen them walk by doing their tour de force thing they’re almost always at extreme attention. They’re always like really focused and emanating scary aura. These guys are like leaning against the wall and look bored.


[00:25:40] – Hudson

I kind of want to go play hacky sack with them but I suppress that urge to go fix the ship. [group laughter]


[00:25:45] – Nick

  1. So you swing around to the back of the ship and there are two tall fins on the back and one of those was obviously at an angle and this kind of bent back you figure if you take this wire and connected it here and if you spot weld this piece it’ll be fine like not even a patchwork job. It’ll just be good it’ll be solid. So you climb up there and make me a mechanics check. This one’s easy.


[00:26:08] – Hudson

Yayyy. So I’m- I’m pretty good on mechanics. [dice sounds]


[00:26:13] – Nick

You say to yourself. [group laughter]


[00:26:14] – Hudson

I’m just holdin’ the wrench like yeah man, I’m doing good job. [Dice sounds] Three advantages.


[00:26:23] – Nick

Okay so it’s not fixed. You realize that you’re out of -uh- fluid for your welder torch. It will last for a while. Like it’s mostly good. This was just preventatory maintenance so it doesn’t break again basically. And your advantage is one of your advantages is that the storm troopers see you doing that and see your tool kit and they make note that you’re someone who’s good at mechanics. They overheard you say that like “huh cool“. [group laughter]


[00:26:51] – Hudson

He talks to himself.


[00:26:52] – Laura

[mimicing a stormtrooper] Hey he’s good at mechanics.


[00:26:54] – Nick

[using a stromtrooper voice mod] Hey, that guy’s good at mechanics. Maybe we’ll have a job for him.


[00:26:58] – Hudson

Yeah That’s it for me.


[00:26:59] – Nick

Okay you…


[00:27:00] – Hudson

I go back into the ship after I’m finished. Cool. So what are you all doing?


[00:27:06] – Hudson

I let them know that there’s two storm troopers by the door so anyone should kind of give up if they’re wanted across the galaxy. Now


[00:27:12] – Multiple Speakers



[00:27:15] – Laura

is anyone wanted specifically on zis planet?


[00:27:20] – Cameron

I’ve never been here before.


[00:27:21] – Laura

I don’t zink I am.


[00:27:23] – Steven

I’m not.. I’m not wanted on this planet.


[00:27:26] – Hudson

I’ve never even heard of Unrooly Dooly so I haven’t been here


[00:27:28] – Laura

[overlapping Hudson] well actually


[00:27:29] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Yooou Sabos? Or you Sako?


[00:27:30] – Laura

Yes. You seem to have two different names. I’m not really sure which is which soo.


[00:27:33] – Cameron

You [Steven: I-] first introduced yourself as Sabos.


[00:27:37] – Steven

I Sabos-


[00:27:37] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] the mysterious voice thought you were Sako.


[00:27:40] – Steven

I Sabos am not wanted on this planet. I think I’ve been here to try to establish some trade routes.


[00:27:45] – Laura

Are you sure? You don’t seem sure.


[00:27:46] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] that would be how you knew the hyperspace route so well.


[00:27:51] – Steven

Yeah [Cameron: hmm] I came in from a different side this time I am used to coming from Osiron you see


[00:27:55] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] yeah the- the planet placement depending on which side you come at can really impact the [Steven: East or West] astrogation check. Yeah.


[00:28:02] – Steven



[00:28:02] – Cameron



[00:28:03] – Laura

hmm. Is zere an east or west in space?


[00:28:06] – Steven

Relative to the planet’s gravity and [Nick laughs] axis alignment. [Laura: okay] I astrogate.


[00:28:12] – Laura

Anyways . I [group laughter] I am putting it out zere. I do not know whether or not I am wanted on zis planet. [Steven laughs] probably not. I would say a solid 80 percent for no. It depends on how good their warrant system is.


[00:28:27] – Nick

Hey guys. Will you flipped me that Darkside point please


[00:28:29] – Cameron

oh no.


[00:28:30] – Nick

Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be [Cameron: I think so] fine.


[00:28:32] – Laura

Xianna has [Cameron: we-] been arrested many times.


[00:28:35] – Cameron

We now have 5 light side.


[00:28:38] – Laura

So we will be using that. ’cause yeah. Xianna has been arrested a handful of times at least three, probably more.


[00:28:46] – Hudson

Okay so…


[00:28:47] – Cameron

I’ve been in the cockpit shutting engines down and [Nick makes engines turning off sounds] doing all that stuff. flipping all the switches


[00:28:53] – Steven

So -uh- Karma? You know where we are? I mean I know where we are but do you. You are the co-p-


[00:28:59] – Cameron

I mean so  the navigation computer says we’re in sector 4.


[00:29:03] – Steven

sector 4 perfect!


[00:29:05] – Nick

You are by outpost 4.


[00:29:06] – Cameron

oh- thank you. The navi-computer says were by outpost 4 .


[00:29:09] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron ]That’s where I was aiming.


[00:29:11] – Cameron

I’m sure you were-


[00:29:12] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] It’s wonderful.


[00:29:13] – Cameron

Yup -uh-. Unroola Dawn, it’s a planet.


[00:29:16] – Steven

That’s the planet I was going for too.


[00:29:18] – Cameron

-mmhhmm- Yeah


[00:29:18] – Steven

it’s a good landing.


[00:29:19] – Cameron

There’s a gate over there with some storm troopers in front it, and a little outpost beyond.


[00:29:24] – Steven

Well I-


[00:29:25] – Cameron

and I haven’t been off the ship yet. So that’s what I know


[00:29:27] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I assume all we have to do is -uh- deliver said cargo to the- to the outpost?


[00:29:32] – Cameron

[overlapping Steven] We have to get the cargo first, right?


[00:29:35] – Steven

I thought we already saw the two meter by one meter box.


[00:29:38] – Nick

No. you’re picking it up here to take it somewhere else.


[00:29:41] – Laura

Yeah, [Nick: Oh] we have to get the box


[00:29:42] – Cameron

[Overlapping Laura] Did anyone catch the name of who we’re supposed to talk to ’cause [Possibly Nick makes gurgle/static noises] it’s kind of garbled.


[00:29:48] – Laura

I only [Cameron: yeah that’s what I heard too]  ‘eard the words Sentinel? And I don’t-


[00:29:52] – Hudson

I thought it was centennial. [group laughter]


[00:29:56] – Laura

No that [Steven: Sentinel!] means one hundred.


[00:29:57] – Hudson

Yeah it was confusing to me too


[00:30:00] – Laura

No, I zink– [group laughter] Sentinel.


[00:30:02] – Hudson

-uh- Okay


[00:30:03] – Laura

zat is what I ‘eard


[00:30:05] – Hudson

we’ll go with what you heard.


[00:30:06] – Cameron

[overlapping Hudson] I did too. But I don’t know what that means.


[00:30:07] – Laura

I zink it is someone who watches zings?


[00:30:11] – Steven

Well there’s two sentinels there.


[00:30:13] – Laura

Yes. Zat is- Yeah. Like a guard.


[00:30:16] – Cameron

We were warned [Cameron giggles while talking. Most likely says: -to watch who we asked-] about it though so maybe asking the storm troopers isn’t the best idea.


[00:30:21] – Hudson

Let’s just get past the storm troopers and figure it out from there.


[00:30:25] – Cameron

Cool. Didyou fix the ship?


[00:30:28] – Hudson

-uhhh- It’s gonna work.


[00:30:30] – Cameron

Cool. [group laughter]


[00:30:32] – Laura

Zat sounds like a no


[00:30:35] – Hudson

  1. It’s not a no because I’m just missing some welding fluid and after I get that then we’ll be 110 percent. But right now we’re not- we’re 100 percent


[00:30:45] – Laura

okay [Cameron: alright]


[00:30:46] – Steven

I believe you.


[00:30:47] – Hudson

I don’t even have to roll for that.


[00:30:49] – Nick

No you’re good. -uh- So you all head down the ramp.


[00:30:53] – Laura



[00:30:54] – Nick

and towards-


[00:30:54] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] I take out the key and boopboop [Nick repeats: boopboop] and lock the ship.


[00:30:57] – Nick

Ok. You arm it. It’s -uh-


[00:30:59] – Steven

I take the key back.


[00:31:02] – Cameron

nooo. [Cameron laughs] Karma does not give you the key.


[00:31:02] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I attempt  to take key back.


[00:31:04] – Cameron

Yeah you don’t get it.


[00:31:05] – Nick

I mean is this- is this important enough to you that we need to make an opposed roll on this right now?


[00:31:10] – Steven

Would it be a brawl or a melee?


[00:31:13] – Nick

Are you like fighting her for it?


[00:31:15] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] oh no, Xianna is going to step in between them and just look at Sabos and be like –mmmmm- just let her ‘ave ze key okie? please? I want to use charm [Cameron: do a charm check] Imma roll charm.


[00:31:25] – Nick

You- you can charm. What’s your discipline Sabos?


[00:31:28] – Steven

I have some discipline. by that I mean none.


[00:31:30] – Cameron

Two green.


[00:31:32] – Nick

Okay, so two purple [dice sounds]


[00:31:38] – Laura

an advantage?


[00:31:40] – Nick

You are unimpressed by her attempting to make you think it’s a good idea to not take the keys but you also don’t want to like start a fight. That’s the advantage. You’re not sure that’s going to go well.


[00:31:53] – Steven

I don’t want to start a fight.


[00:31:54] – Cameron

I put it [Steven: I might try-] in my breast pocket. [Cameron snickers]


[00:31:57] – Steven

I might still try to grab it later.


[00:31:58] – Nick

Yeah that’s fine.


[00:32:00] – Steven

Now that she’s revealed where the key is. [Nick: -mmhmm]


[00:32:02] – Hudson

that sounded predatory, be- cause [Cameron laughs] of where she put the key. [Hudson laughs]


[00:32:06] – Nick

Sheese- getting intense. Okay.


[00:32:09] – Cameron

I put- put- put both my hands back and I’m gonna flick my head tentacles so several of them fall over my shoulders in front.


[00:32:14] – Steven

I flick my head tentacles too. Unsure what’s going on. [Hudson laughs]


[00:32:17] – Laura

Why are you-


[00:32:19] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I give you an unimpressed look as you only have four.


[00:32:22] – Steven

sorry, had tails. -wooh- Not tentacles. I don’t want those. [Cameron laughs]


[00:32:25] – Nick

She has tentacles.


[00:32:26] – Cameron

[Steven: yeah] I don’t care what you call them.


[00:32:28] – Laura

Xianna’s just like looking back and forth like “are we flipping our ‘ead tails for a reason? [Hudson: I whisp- ] is- is zis a zing now?


[00:32:35] – Cameron

-uh- no. mine are still a little soggy.


[00:32:37] – Hudson

I- I whisper to Xianna I think he’s just trying to copy people. I don’t think he knows how to actually do things.


[00:32:45] – Laura

[whispers] zat makes sense. Also I zink zey can hear us.


[00:32:50] – Hudson

nooo, we’re good. [group laughter]


[00:32:53] – Cameron

Tink’s like whispering but he didn’t lean down at all to talk to Xianna so it’s just like seven foot tall whispering


[00:32:59] – Laura

I imagine that he’s like standing at full height just looking down and not really whispering like it’s his version of a whisper. But it’s still fairly loud [Nick: ooh] because his translator probably can’t handle like the [Hudson: there’s no volume] full whisper


[00:33:15] – Nick

No, so I really like the idea. So one thing I have to apologize for the previous episode with Hudson his mask is a translator mask not a breather mask, for an alien race that shows up in the background of Rogue One for 20 seconds I think we did a pretty good job.


[00:33:28] – Laura

They’re in like two episodes of Aphra in [Nick: oh] the background as like bodyguards.


[00:33:33] – Nick

and buy episodes you mean issues


[00:33:35] – Laura

[overlappin Nick] Two issues. I’m [Nick:ok, it’s a comic-]  sorry. It is a comic book.


[00:33:37] – Nick

I was going to say if there- I’m missing an Aphra show I need to know. So he’s got his- his mask set. But I really like the idea that if he whispers, it is designed to be easy to understand so it just says whispered and then says whatever [group laughter]


[00:33:51] – Steven

Does Tink not speak basic?


[00:33:53] – Nick

No he [Steven: ooh] can’t. His vocal chords aren’t set up right. It’s kind of like Chewbacca who can only speak Chewbacca


[00:33:58] – Laura

But unlike- I guess most people understand Wookie. So everyone seems to understand Chewbacca. Nobody speaks Gigoran.


[00:34:07] – Hudson



[00:34:07] – Laura

so he has to use one


[00:34:09] – Cameron

I bet it does like the [in a robotic voice] -sarcasm- [group laughter]


[00:34:12] – Nick

No. so like it can do…


[00:34:14] – Hudson

It’s only when volume is modulated.


[00:34:15] – Nick

Yeah it can do tone of voice and stuff like that because otherwise then he would just sound like HK 47 all the time. So after that long exchange under the ship within sight of the scouts of like arguing and head flipping and whispering and everybody just kind of looking at each other. The Scouts still look bored. Do you approach the gate?


[00:34:33] – Laura

Yeah. Xianna’s just gonna be like follow me! We go into ze city and.. -uh-  starts walking that way.


[00:34:39] – Nick

Okay so you get up right next to them and the gate is on a motion sensor and slides open and the scouts are watching you but they don’t say anything.


[00:34:47] – Laura

I wave at them [Cameron: and I-] I like waving at people.


[00:34:49] – Cameron

I give the one on the right a smile and flicked my head tail [whispers] and walk through.


[00:34:53] – Nick

So the one that you smile and flick at is just deadpan. As far as you can tell and the one that Xianna waved at kind of cocks his head slightly to the side. And it makes that high pitched armor creaking noise that they make when they get thrown into trees in Return of the Jedi, the like [Nick makes a creaking noise] noise but he doesn’t say anything either. So it looks like he can probably just go straight through.


[00:35:14] – Steven

I also salute with one of my headtails.


[00:35:16] – Laura

Why would you [Cameron: with one of your headtails?] salute with the head tail? Do you understand how creatures-


[00:35:19] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] it’s kind of acknowledged by moving the head tail.


[00:35:22] – Laura

Oooh, oh.


[00:35:23] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] So you like pick it up?


[00:35:23] – Nick

No. So the head


[00:35:24] – Cameron

What? [group laughter]


[00:35:26] – Laura

I [Steven: no] was imagining  [Steven: -aposable] he picked it up in [Steven laughs] [Steven: ohh nooo] his hand and then [Nick: noooo] sort of slopped it onto his forehead [Nick: That’s what I was thinking] and put it back down.


[00:35:31] – Nick

Cause it’s about his prehensile as like a dick is, so. [group laughter] You can’t like gesture with it.


[00:35:39] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] So I have some facing up so I can-


[00:35:40] – Nick

-uh hu- So you like wiggle them at him just-


[00:35:42] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] your two montrals.


[00:35:43] – Cameron

It’s- It’s like wiggling your ears.


[00:35:45] – Steven

Yeah, just the one [Cameron: you can wiggle your top montrals ]side though.


[00:35:46] – Laura

So like the top ones are called like montrals.


[00:35:48] – Steven

Yeah those aren’t the headtails that’s right.


[00:35:49] – Hudson

like the thing jocks do when they pass someone and they do that like head tilt up like just [Cameron: but it’s like-] slightly, [Cameron: but it’s with the montrals], but-uh- so yeah.


[00:35:55] – Cameron

[Laura: I mean-] They twitch slightly


[00:35:57] – Hudson

We’ll say he did that.


[00:35:58] – Laura

They’re not prehensile though.


[00:35:58] – Cameron

It’s way [Steven: it’s you know body language] less creepy than picking one up and saluting with it.


[00:36:02] – Steven

[Steven laughs] oh yeah not like that


[00:36:02] – Laura

swinging it around


[00:36:03] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] that’s really weird


[00:36:05] – Nick

Gross. You head through the gate. Like I said before the inside of the settlement is pretty plain. It has dirt roads and a small one story buildings arranged in a ring around the middle, the center you can tell now is a pre-fabricated imperial barracks. They all look the same. So if you’ve ever seen one you’ve seen all of them and you can see squads of storm troopers jogging in formation a group goes by and you hear [stormtrooper voice mod][singing] “I don’t know but I’ve been told the sarlacc’s welcome is my cold” and they’re echoing back and forth to each other and jogging around. So it’s a pretty much an independent town within these walls. A lot of it appears to be imperial military but you can see several outpost shops. There is a building off to the side where you can see off duty Imperial’s. You recognize them by their gate and their posture,  coming like into and out of some of them look kind of drunk and there is a building furthest from the gate that’s actually made of wood and not prefabricated and looks to be more comfortable than the other buildings and in front of that one there are three white armored storm troopers posted up front and one of them’s standing directly in front of the doors. So that’s what Outpost number 4 is like.


[00:37:09] – Laura

So who are we meeting?


[00:37:12] – Steven

-uh- Sentinel


[00:37:15] – Laura

[Someone makes static noises] ze[Cameron: sentinel] Crinkle crinkle noise. crinkle noise sentinel. -mmh- Yes


[00:37:18] – Cameron

That’s what we got.


[00:37:19] – Steven

I was hoping one of y’all understood that in y’alls native tongue.


[00:37:23] – Hudson

Do any of you know who was talking to us on the hologram in the room.?


[00:37:25] – Laura

‘e would not tell me ‘is name.


[00:37:28] – Hudson

And none of you knew? Okay. Nobody knew him before.


[00:37:30] – Multiple Speakers



[00:37:31] – Cameron

He just hired me for a bounty job.


[00:37:33] – Hudson

Hmm let’s find some shady character in town and ask them.


[00:37:37] – Laura

Let’s find a non-stormtrooper.


[00:37:41] – Hudson

Can I use… underworld and find someone?


[00:37:45] – Nick

Actually so finding someone would be streetwise. [Hudson: -uhh]


[00:37:48] – Laura

I have streetwise


[00:37:49] – Hudson

Let’s have [Steven: I can do that] whoever has the most.


[00:37:52] – Nick

Someone could add a boost to it if you’re trying to help.


[00:37:55] – Cameron

No. help me.


[00:37:56] – Steven

How do I do that?


[00:37:57] – Nick

Oh just say you’re helping her and she gets [Cameron: one, three, hey] a boost die. [Cameron: I’m listening to you].


[00:38:00] – Steven

I’ll help her. Do I roll the same as I would normally?



No you don’t even have to roll, if [group chatter] you help someone they get a boost.


[00:38:07] – Laura




To find a shady person in an imperial outpost?


[00:38:12] – Laura

Or just like-


[00:38:12] – Nick



[00:38:14] – Laura

yeah, okay.


[00:38:14] – Cameron

non-storm trooper


[00:38:15] – Nick

A non-storm trooper is average. [dice sounds] Yeah there are some.


[00:38:21] – Laura

[dice sounds] 5 successes and one advantage


[00:38:24] – Nick

five successes and one advantage. So you instinctively hone in towards the building that the drunk storm troopers were coming out of. And you go in and there are long low tables and people like the black form suits that they wear under the armor. And some people in officers uniforms. [low bar noises begin playing] But it’s like the shoreside officers uniforms not the Navy ones so [Laura: yeah] they’re just kind of like brown boring clothes and sort of the super legit like gray uniforms and they’re sitting very structured by rank and most of them aren’t talking but they’re drinking some of the soldiers are whispering to each other but it’s a very quiet restrained atmosphere and behind the bar there is a person that you assume must be a native you haven’t seen anyone like them before. They have kind of lanky black hair. It does the crow feather kind of purple highlight thing to it and they have a very tan face. They have broad features and long cheeks and it’s a guy with a like ratty brown apron on and no shirt. And he is in the process of handing a can of beer to somebody.


[00:39:29] – Cameron

Can I roll a xenology check?


[00:39:31] – Nick



[00:39:31] – Cameron

what would be the difficulty?


[00:39:34] – Nick

-uh [Cameron whispers: on a xenology roll] easy.


[00:39:34] – Cameron

[dice sounds] Nope. I fail with three advantage.


[00:39:38] – Nick

So you can spend the advantages however you want there probably human, honestly like there’s a lot of weird- So you don’t know specifically about this group but there’s a lot of weird -uh -races in Star Wars that are like human except for this one thing or this guy looks a lot like that. He’s ripped. Think Conan the Barbarian ripped. And like lotza stretched out really ugly looking scars like on his arms and things like not action hero scars like there are divots where stuff is missing but he seems to serve a can of beer pretty well.


[00:40:08] – Cameron



[00:40:09] – Laura

I’m probably already at the bar.


[00:40:11] – Nick

Ok… so everyone else paused to look around and see what was going on. You just walked right up to.


[00:40:17] – Laura

Yeah. Are there like seats at the bar?


[00:40:20] – Cameron

I use my advantage, there’s four seats together.


[00:40:22] – Nick

Sure, there are four seats together and one of them’s even big enough for a Gigorin.


[00:40:28] – Cameron

It’s the end seat. [Nick: yeah] So he can stretch out.


[00:40:30] – Hudson

So I passed down a message so I’m not speaking to the whole bar saying one of the ladies should try to get some info.



-hmm- You could have said that like from the doorway.


[00:40:39] – Laura

yeah I mean I’m- I’m already at the bar.


[00:40:41] – Nick

The whole volume thing is just for comedic effect. I’m not going to screw you over. [Cameron laughs]


[00:40:44] – Hudson

Great. okay


[00:40:44] – Nick



[00:40:45] – Laura

So while they’re still looking around I’m already at the bar in the stool, like chin in my hand, like leaning on the bar table. I mean, like ‘allo -uh- I would like a beer? is all you have beer? [Steven mutters something]


[00:41:00] – Nick

Well the beer is the one thing I can guarantee isn’t contaminated but we have some starshine.


[00:41:09] – Laura

-umm- ze beer is fine zank you.


[00:41:12] – Nick

All right. One imperial ale coming right up. And he takes out- there like the high baller cans. And he sits it on the bar. And you reach for it and he stops you he puts a hand out and he reaches over and [Nick makes a can opening noise] opens it for you. And like turns it towards you.


[00:41:26] – Laura

Zank you.


[00:41:26] – Nick

that’ll be six credits.


[00:41:30] – Laura

  1. Xianna is just like internally is like Damn, zat is expensive.



We don’t know who we’re trying to look for.


[00:41:41] – Hudson

Don’t say that to him. [group laughter]


[00:41:44] – Cameron

So as we- at that point Tink leans over and said the- or passes the message that he thinks one of the lady folks should try and get information. The three of us are still by the door Xianna’s the only one who went by the bar.


[00:41:58] – Hudson

[overlapping Cameron] oh Okay. In that case I’ll just talk. OK. We’re still by the door then I’ll say when talking to them… played dumb like you are- like you supposed to go and grab this package so that we can have plausible deniability if they say Wait you’re smugglers or something like that.


[00:42:13] – Laura

I’m already at the [Steven: i can be-] bar.


[00:42:15] – Cameron

Yeah. [hard to hear chatter] it’s just the three of us talking. [Hudson: just the three of us]


[00:42:17] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] So, yeah, I want to-


[00:42:18] – Steven

All right guys I’ll be the lady folk.


[00:42:20] – Laura

I want to be charming for a little bit but then I want to… Would it be maybe skullduggery to do like some very subtle like hint droppings


[00:42:31] – Nick

That’s streetwise


[00:42:32] – Laura

Streetwise? OK. I can-


[00:42:33] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] streetwise is talking to people and people not thinking you’re a narc.


[00:42:36] – Laura

Yeah. So I want to do… just do like I guess a straight charm role. Just be friendly for a little bit and then-


[00:42:42] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] You can use the charm roll to try to get advantages on the streetwise role.


[00:42:45] – Laura



[00:42:46] – Cameron

Honestly I think Xianna’s going to be the best person to be talking since they tend- -uhu- Imperials tend not like aliens but they tend to find Twi’leks sexy.


[00:42:57] – Hudson

I don’t know if I trust her but we’ll go ahead.


[00:42:59] – Steven

I’m legitimately confused because most Togruta are female so I don’t really understand what’s going on.


[00:43:05] – Laura

[Cameron: cool] Two successes and two threats.


[00:43:07] – Nick

OK the successes. This guy likes you. And obviously the people around aren’t much of conversationalists. So you catch him- You say something that’s like mildly entertaining and he -ha ha ha ha haaaa- And you can tell he’s just totally hook line and sinker whatever you need from him. The threats are that some of the officers sitting in the corner noticed that laugh and are now, they don’t look suspicious but they’re definitely paying attention to you. They’re curious about what’s going on.


[00:43:37] – Laura

I mean I’m smiling at them. [Nick: mhmm] OK. And then yeah I guess-


[00:43:40] – Nick

[overlapping Laura] They’re not taken by your charms. They were not directed at you.


[00:43:43] – Laura

Well yeah. You have to like direct it. You can only project in one direction. That’s how [Nick: Sometimes in two if you-]charm works.


[00:43:51] – Nick

-If you have more than one kind of asset I guess.


[00:43:53] – Cameron

At this point we’ve been standing at the door long enough. So I kind of usher everyone out of the door way over there to the extra seats.


[00:43:59] – Laura

What wou- would the streetwise check be?


[00:44:01] – Nick

At this point, it’d probably be hard but you get a blue dye. [dice sounds]


[00:44:08] – Nick

And we’re like very much Level 1 and you guys still are starting out with these huge dice pools.


[00:44:14] – Laura

Two successes.


[00:44:15] – Nick

Nice. So what are you… What information are you trying to get out of him or what hints are you dropping?


[00:44:21] – Laura

I’m trying to drop that we’re here for a job and we need to pick something up and try to be like real subtle that we’re not exactly sure where to be going. So if he knows of anyone who’s providing a job for someone… let me now. [Nick: OK] If he knows anything. Yeah.


[00:44:43] – Nick

This takes a while. By the time all of you are seated at the bar, who’s drinking? Is anyone drinking?


[00:44:49] – Hudson

I’ll be drinking.


[00:44:50] – Steven

Yeah I [Cameron: I am- ]am drinking for sure.


[00:44:51] – Cameron

-I’m not drinking.


[00:44:52] – Laura

I’m already [Nick: you’re just sip-] drinking my beer.


[00:44:55] – Nick

Okay so-


[00:44:55] – Cameron

I’m scanning the room.


[00:44:57] – Nick



[00:45:00] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I’ll go with starshine


[00:45:01] – Nick

Oh you’re getting starshine?


[00:45:02] – Steven



[00:45:03] – Nick

That’s four credits but I need a resilience check from you. [group laughter]


[00:45:07] – Steven



[00:45:10] – Cameron

Two greens.


[00:45:10] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] That’s going to go well. How hard is said resilience check?


[00:45:12] – Nick

It is hard.


[00:45:13] – Steven

Oh is it?


[00:45:14] – Nick

Yeah this stuff is legit.


[00:45:18] – Steven

Hard is three?


[00:45:18] – Laura

three. [Nick :mmhhmm] [dice sounds]


[00:45:22] – Steven

[whispers: yeah it’s going to go well] Yeah it goes fine.


[00:45:25] – Cameron

[whispers] no it doesn’t [Laura: oooh boy]


[00:45:26] – Steven

Two failures and one advantage.


[00:45:27] – Nick

You have an advantage?


[00:45:27] – Laura

He does.


[00:45:28] – Nick

Okay so you’re gonna take four strain-


[00:45:32] – Steven



[00:45:32] – Nick

-and you are mildly inebriated. It hits you a lot harder than you thought and it hurts, like your stomach hurts but you get a good buzz off of it. So as far as you’re concerned this was a- a good deal. -uh- you can- Is there something you want to spend the advantage on.


[00:45:48] – Steven

I would like to know the brand of the starshine.


[00:45:51] – Nick

The starshine, it- it’s-


[00:45:52] – Steven

Is it is actually from this planet?


[00:45:54] – Nick

Yeah. Like it- the guy makes it in a bathtub out back.


[00:45:56] – Laura

Yeah it’s [group chatter] starshine. There’s no brand.


[00:45:59] – Steven

Well, I didn’t know if it was like you know one of the regulated starshines that  come from Corellia.


[00:46:02] – Nick

[overlapping Steven] no. This is like bathroom gin or bathtub gin-


[00:46:06] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] I ask- I asked to be excused to go look at the tub it’s made in.


[00:46:09] – Nick

Oh he goes with you. [Steven: perfect] So there’s a little a side of you standing around and you kick at it and he’s like pointing out the still and everything and he’s like yeah we amke it right here out of these berries we’re not- They don’t really have a name that’s pronounceable in basic but they -uh- they have a pretty good kick and so you have a little thing and he likes you and you guys are best friends so. Good job. And then back to the hints of the job and everything. Heee… kind of gets what you’re saying and- and thinks about it for a bit and says Well most people that aren’t imperial are here for one reason or another, we don’t see a lot of people come here for no reason but the guy who handles most of these jobs is actually out right now. Went on a hunting expedition. He should be back pretty soon. But you would want to talk to him. He’s the guy who- who lives in that- the bigger building in the back of the complex.


[00:47:02] – Laura

Okay. zank you


[00:47:03] – Nick

He says his name is Falx Urnstad. He’s -uh- he’s kind of a big deal and around then the imperial officers get up to order more beers and he kind of clams up and goes back to pulling them out. You see there isn’t any refrigeration or even electricity in this building like it’s a prefab building but the inside is all like cobbled together wooden tables and stuff like they just cut two by fours. It doesn’t have any refrigeration or lights like they never hooked it up so he just has an Imperial issue cooler with ice in it that the beers are all stuck in


[00:47:33] – Cameron

Is it shaped like a Death Star?


[00:47:36] – Nick

No it isn’t. [Cameron laughs] It’s square. It’s a case that is about three metres long and two metres wide.


[00:47:43] – Cameron

[whispers] missed oppurtunity


[00:47:44] – Nick

Yeah well-


[00:47:44] – Steven

it’s a big imperial cooler


[00:47:46] – Nick

the Deathstar doesn’t exist as far as you know so…


[00:47:50] – Cameron

yeah I know -yyyhh- thought they had begun merchandising.


[00:47:54] – Nick

-hmmhmmmhmmm- That’s- that’s what you get from him before the Imperials walk up- they’re doing that hip lean in the bar thing while they’re looking at you, kind of like as an invitation to talk but they’re not making a first move


[00:48:05] – Laura

And I just kind of like politely smile at them and then when I’m done with my drink look at everyone else to suggest like we should gooo.


[00:48:16] – Hudson

I down my drink- [Cameron: Karma gets up and walks out]


[00:48:18] – Hudson

-I down my drink and get up and go.


[00:48:20] – Steven

I stumble a bit and say that starshine is to die for. [Nick laughs] and get up and go


[00:48:25] – Nick

Okay. As you come outside you hear the sound of speeders in the distance and you see the trees rumbling and the gate slides open and you see three offroad vehicles come in. They’re are speeders but they’re rigged up- their air intakes and stuff have a lot of heavy grating over them so they can go through the jungle. The one in the middle has a crane arm and is holding some strange creature that is dripping black ichor from it. It looks like a great white shark but with scales and teeth where its fins should be. Can I get a perception check or xenology check from somebody?


[00:48:57] – Steven

sure [Cameron: sureee]


[00:48:59] – Laura

Ew. I can do perception


[00:49:00] – Cameron

I can do perception


[00:49:01] – Steven

[overlapping Cameron] I can xenology.


[00:49:02] – Cameron

Can we all percept?


[00:49:03] – Nick



[00:49:05] – Laura

What’s the difficulty again?


[00:49:06] – Nick

-uh- This one’s hard. [Steven: sure] [dice sounds]


[00:49:11] – Nick

Are you rolling preception or xenology Sabos?


[00:49:12] – Steven

Xenology, but it didn’t go well.


[00:49:15] – Nick

Okay so you [Cameron: you suc-] don’t know what this is.


[00:49:16] – Cameron

You  succeeded with three threats.


[00:49:18] – Steven



[00:49:19] – Nick

-hhmm- You fall prone. [loud bass sound] [Steven laughs]


[00:49:22] – Cameron

But he knows what [Cameron laughs] it is.


[00:49:23] – Nick

But you know what it is.


[00:49:26] – Laura

Four successes on my perception check. [dice sounds]


[00:49:29] – Hudson

What’s the difficulty of the perception check?


[00:49:31] – Multiple Speakers

Hard [dice sounds]


[00:49:33] – Steven

[muffled] I- throwin’ the side of it.


[00:49:34] – Cameron

One success… for karma.


[00:49:37] – Hudson

Okay I have [Laura and Hudson snicker] a failure.


[00:49:41] – Laura

One of those gets cancelled out.


[00:49:43] – Cameron

It’s [Hudson: I see] a failure, a threat, and a triumph.


[00:49:45] – Hudson

I have a failure, a  threat, and a triumph.


[00:49:46] – Nick

Okay so you don’t see anything so Sabos you identify this as a Kersten’s beast. It’s -uh- pretty rare, they like jungle environments and they’re real real real real scary and it’s such a surprise to you that you fall on your ass in the mud. [loud bass sound] There is no mud in this outpost except for one puddle that you managed to find, so your clothes are dirty now.


[00:50:09] – Steven



[00:50:10] – Nick

So Karma and Xianna, you see that han- from this creature hanging -uh- it has thousands of like Millipede legs hanging off the bottom of it [Cameron: ew] and [Laura: Eww] some of them are still kind of twitching. Yeah And that- [Cameron and Laura: ew gross]


[00:50:24] – Steven

I say Hey guys I think this is a Kersten’s beast. They’re pretty fucking scary.


[00:50:28] – Cameron

No shit.


[00:50:30] – Laura

I can see zat.


[00:50:31] – Steven



[00:50:32] – Cameron

Karma goes no kriff.


[00:50:33] – Laura

I can see it’s weird little leg zings


[00:50:37] – Cameron

There’s so many [Hudson: ccccreepy] legs and so many teeth.


[00:50:40] – Nick

All of the storm troopers snapped to attention as the speeders pulled to a stop at the square around the barracks. You guys are all within probably 40 yards. You’re close enough to see but not close enough that you’re going to draw immediate attention. A squad of storm troopers pile out of one speeder and it’s a mix of white armored storm troopers and the scout troopers and out of the other two speeders who come people who are obviously military but are wearing expeditionary outfits. They are pale like they are used to wearing helmets and have short utilitarian haircuts. Out of the front speeder comes two grizzled looking people you can only assume are locals like the bartender. There’s a man and a woman. They look pretty similar. They have dark lanky hair and a deep tan and scars, just like the bartender did. They were wearing clothes that look like they started as the expeditionary outfit but have been patched together and strengthened with animal hides. their blasters look simple but customized, they’re stripped down to-  So there are as little parts that could fail on them as possible but they still seem to be pretty deadly. And as you’re getting all that after a small pause the scarred people look behind them and one more person steps out of the speeder. It’s a Zabrak male. He has facial tattoos but they’re subtle, only a darker brown than his already tanned skin. He has a light blaster strapped to his thigh and a pure white version of the expeditionary outfit on, it’s spotless. There’s an imperial insignia above the left breast. He surveys the crowd that’s gathered. The stormtroopers are all still at attention and looks perplexed for a second, then appears to remember something. He leans back into the lead speeder and pulls out a canteen and… a martini glass. He pours the contents into the glass and tosses the canteen back into the speeder. He sighs to himself -sigh- and waves at everyone to go back to their duties. The two locals that are with him go to cut down the lizard monster. He looks around and says oh boy it sure is good to be home.


[00:52:30] – Nick

And that’s where we’ll end it this time.


[00:52:33] – Cameron

He must a King, he doesn’t have shit all over him. [group laughs]


[00:52:36] – Laura

He doesn’t have shit all over him! [group laughter]


[00:52:43] – Multiple Speakers



[00:52:43] – Nick

Oh my gosh. [group laughter]


[00:52:44] – Hudson

-for the longest time. [group laughter]


[00:52:45] – Nick

oh nooo


[00:52:46] – Cameron

Thanks for listening to [guitar background music] Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five star review. Five star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.



Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.



Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.

Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58.


Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter. Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out. See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 1 We Meet at Last – Tabletop Squadron

PDF download: Episode 1 We Meet at Last – Tabletop Squadron

Read in Browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 1:
We Meet At Last

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone. Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. We made it everyone! Episode 1! This is always a great part of a campaign where players get to meet each other and figure out what their characters are.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. On to the episode. Enjoy!

## [0:44]

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Episode 1 of Tabletop Squadron. I am your hosting game master, Nick. Thanks for coming back. The previous episodes were all prologues. This is the first real one. We’ve got the whole party here. We’re all very excited. So, we’ll go around the table, introduce everybody, talk about their character for just a second, and we’ll get to it. Starting off with Cameron.


NICK: Hi! How are you?

CAMERON: [giggling] I’m doing well, Nick. How are you?

NICK: That’s good. I’m doing phenomenally. Thank you for asking. So, who are you playing today?

CAMERON: I am playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Okay. Cool. Sounds good. Moving on. Next we have Steven.

STEVEN: Hi. I’m Steven.

NICK: Hi Steven, and who are you playing?

STEVEN: I am playing Sabos, a Togruta fringer.

NICK: Great. Awesome. Thank you. Glad to have you here, on the show. This is awesome.

STEVEN: Really?

NICK: Yes. I’m super happy to have you here.


NICK: And, Hudson.

HUDSON: Are you happy to have me here?


HUDSON: Oh, okay. Well, my name is Hudson, and I’m playing Tink who is a Gigoran slicer. I look very pretty in my white fur. You can visit our website to see my image. I will do autographs later.

NICK: Nice. (dramatically)! And next up, we have Laura.

LAURA: Hello!

NICK: Hi. … How are you?

LAURA: I’m good. I was waiting for you to ask.

NICK: I could tell. And who are you playing today?

LAURA: I will be playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Great. When we last left off everybody ended up in a mysterious wood paneled room. We didn’t get a lot of action there because we were recording them one at a time, but before we get started let’s do the Destiny Roll. Everybody rolls one of those white dice. They have dark side and light side on them.

HUDSON: Cameron, go first.

NICK: You don’t have to do it all at the same time.

CAMERON: One dark side.

LAURA: One dark side.

HUDSON: Steven.

STEVEN: Two light side.

HUDSON: Alright. Steven’s my new friend, bestest friend. Two white side.

STEVEN & CAMERON: Light side! (laughs)

HUDSON: Light side, whatever.

NICK: Okay. The total, you guys have four light side and two dark side. Remember, you can flip those to make interesting story things happen or to boost dice, and I can flip the dark side over to light side in exchange for making bad things happen or boosting dice for my NPCs or bad guys, who are not always the same thing. Sometimes they’re not bad guys. You guys ready to go?


NICK: Oh boy. We’ll start with the camera on the interior of the room. It’s warm and wood paneled. It has high ceilings and smooth floors. There’s a wooden board room table in the center, and sitting on it there is a small ice bucket and a crystal decanter full of Corellian whiskey, and the camera does a slow sweep of the room giving you a solid view. It’s otherwise not particularly ornate. The room itself is pretty utilitarian, but the board room table and the wooden chairs that are there, the wooden chairs have leather pads on them, they’re very nice, and that part of the setup is very comfortable.

Sitting in one of those leather chairs we have a Nautolan woman who is green and has head tentacles, and is dripping wet.

CAMERON: Yep. I’m sitting in one of the chairs to the far side of the table from the door, facing the door, and slowly running my fingers through my tentacles as I’m drying them off, and whenever I move I squeak slightly in the leather chair.

NICK: Great.

CAMERON: And I’m sitting here by myself.

NICK: And you’re sitting here by yourself. You have about ten minutes to wait while—

CAMERON: I start inspecting my fingernails, cleaning the river muck out of them.

NICK: Mm-hmm. About ten minutes later the door slides open again and a Togrutan man is shown in by a protocol droid, and he walks into the room and you see a Nautolan sitting there wringing out her head tentacles.

STEVEN: “Nautolan.”

CAMERON: (hesitantly) “Togrutan?”

STEVEN: “I go by Sabos.”

CAMERON: “Well, I do not go by Nautolan. Karma.”


CAMERON: “Lovely to meet you.”

STEVEN: “Is that whiskey?”

CAMERON: “Probably.”

STEVEN: I go take whiskey and sit down.

NICK: Okay. You sit down, you have a glass of whiskey, and within probably a minute, you don’t even have time to feel the silence get awkward, the door whooshes open again and a purple Twi’lek is led in.

LAURA: “Uh, where did you get the alcohol?”

STEVEN: “Right here on the table.”

LAURA: “Thank you.” And I immediately go for a very large glass, and drink most of it right away.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Then top it off again and sit down.

NICK: So, the Twi’lek and the Togruta are sitting on one side, the Nautolan is sitting on another, and you all have a few minutes of quiet while you enjoy what you actually realize is a very nice whiskey. It tastes expensive.

CAMERON: I’m not drinking.

NICK: You’ve had enough for today?

CAMERON: I’ve had enough for today, yeah. (laughs) I’m doing alright.

LAURA: “So, did you two also have to deliver a little box?”

CAMERON: “No. I delivered a Selonian, actually.”

LAURA: “That sounds much easier.”

CAMERON: “Eh, he’s quite heavy.”

LAURA: “The box was in a very weird place.”

STEVEN: “Mine got a little complicated as well.”

LAURA: “You killed someone? That’s what complicated usually means.”

STEVEN: “I busted some people out of a place that they probably should have been.”

LAURA: “Should have or should not have?”

STEVEN: “Depends on who you ask.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

CAMERON: “Hi, I’m Karma.”

LAURA: “Are we using real names here, or what?”

CAMERON: “I’m using my real name.”

STEVEN: “The Nautolan insists she go by her real name.”

LAURA: “Why are you…”

CAMERON: “Because I don’t go by ‘the Nautolan’.”

LAURA: “Is he racist? Is he xenophobic?”

CAMERON: “So, he walked in the room and the very first thing he said was ‘Nautolan’.”

LAURA: “Usually it is the humans who are xenophobic, but you know, you do you.”

STEVEN: “Togruta can be an isolated people.”

CAMERON: “See, that seems kind of xenophobic, too.”

LAURA: “Also, why did you say it in the singular?”

CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: “Just Togruta? It is not a planet. You are a people. You say Togrutan.”

STEVEN: “You say tomato.”

LAURA: “I do not say tomato! I do not like tomatoes. They are gross. They are squishy.”

CAMERON: Karma leans back in her chair and is just watching the conversation.

STEVEN: “Do you like human food, Karma? I see you’re uncomfortable by the tomatoes.”

LAURA: “No. Tomatoes are not the only human food.”

CAMERON: “Human food?!” (laughs)

LAURA: “Human food is more than just tomatoes. There are many more things. Where have you been?”

STEVEN: “Uh, the Togruta home world.”

LAURA: “Do they only have tomatoes? Wait, no, you think tomatoes are human food.”

STEVEN: “yes.”

LAURA: “What kind of food do they even have there? Do you not have like, bread?”

STEVEN: “Things very good for head tails.”

LAURA: “You realize that we all have some form of head tails.”

STEVEN: “Ours are superior?”

LAURA: “Can you use them to talk to your other people? Can you communicate with other Togrutans with your head tails?”

STEVEN: “Mine hang down.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “So do mine.”

LAURA: “And hers. They all do. You are the only one with two little weird pointy ones. Do you hear out of them?”

STEVEN: “They’re not little.”


LAURA: “I mean, compared to the length of mine they are littler.”

STEVEN: “I’m one of the few Togruta with four head tails.”

LAURA: “So, do you hear out of them? Can you use them to communicate? Are they just there to compensate for something?”

STEVEN: “Yes. Yes. No—No! Uh—“

LAURA: (laughs) “Got it. Got it.”

STEVEN: I say while sipping my whiskey.

NICK: As he takes a sip of whiskey and gathers himself, you do realize that Sabos does actually have an extra head tail. He has four. It’s very interesting.

CAMERON: I don’t think I know that’s unusual.

LAURA: Yeah, I don’t think I find that—I might know that. Xianna would know that, but she doesn’t really care. She’s been with guys with four head tails, and you know. (laughter) Or three, and four, who knows.

NICK: So, Sabos hides in his drink for a second and there’s a long silence as you all gather yourselves from this interaction. There’s the quiet clink of ice settling in the ice bucket. The door swooshes open one more time, and you all see a very large white furred creature come striding into the room.

LAURA: “Hello.”

HUDSON: I furrow my brow and look at Xianna, and don’t say anything really. I look around the room at everyone else, specifically I stop at Sabos and just kinda say “awkward” under my breath. I walk over, take the decanter and pour myself some whiskey, go ahead and sit down still just kind of looking. I don’t really trust anybody in here. Not really gonna say anything yet.

NICK: So, Tink comes and joins the table, sits in the last empty chair, and you have a few moments of silence before a blue holographic projection appears on the table. It is of a man from the chest up. He’s older with what looks like white hair and streaks of gray that falls to mid-neck swept back over his head. He has a white goatee, and his face is lined with smile lines. The hologram points in four directions at once, so it feels to each of you like he is looking directly at you. He nods pleasantly and speaks. His voice doesn’t come out of the hologram projector hidden in the table, but instead out of multiple speakers in the walls making him sound large and all around you.

“Thank you all for joining me.” Xianna, you recognize this voice as the voice from your ear piece.

LAURA: “Oh, ‘ello!”

NICK: “I am happy to see you all have arrived and accomplished your goals. Karma, your bounty was captured quickly and easily, as expected.”

CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”

NICK: “Xianna, you showed agility and improvisation. Rallltinkraatakat, your ability to gather information, infiltrate a combat zone, and slice through defense systems was impressive. And Councilman Sako, you were able to… Wait, you’re not Councilman Sako. Who are you?”

STEVEN: “Uh, slight miscommunication. I’m Sabos, not Sako. Uh, it’s the same thing.”

NICK: “Well, it’s clearly not as I was trying to get a Corellian district leader, someone who’s good at talking, here.”

STEVEN: “I’m pretty good at talking over on Osaron, and I think I might serve your purpose as well. After all, Sabos—Sako is alive, isn’t he?”

NICK: “Well, you passed the test whoever you are, and we’re short on time, so you’ll have to do. The rest of you, if this Sabos does anything suspicious, kill him.”

LAURA & HUDSON: “Got it.”

CAMERON: “What?”

STEVEN: “Nothing suspicious at all about a Togruta.”

LAURA: “What? You are a bounty hunter. Do you not, you know, kill sometimes?”

CAMERON: “Normally they’re worth more if they’re alive.” She looks at Sabos appraisingly.

LAURA: “Oh. I mean, I killed a person this morning, so…”

CAMERON: “Dang.”

LAURA: “Don’t worry. He was a pervert.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay. That’s fine then.”

LAURA: “And a drug dealer.”

HUDSON: “Killing doesn’t solve everything.”

STEVEN: “Sometimes you just gotta bust ‘em out.”

LAURA: “It solves some things.”

NICK: Tink has a far away and haunted look in his eye as he says that.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: “I know you are all wondering why I called you here.” The hologram looks a little concerned at that exchange. “I have a delivery I need made, a delivery that the Empire would rather not be made. Before you can do that however, I need you to pick it up. I’ll be giving you some cargo for an exchange as well as some credits to buy the next leg of the journey.”

LAURA: “What is the cargo?”

NICK: “It’s not particularly important. It’ll be in a crate about two meters long and a meter wide.”

LAURA: “It is not a person, is it?”

NICK: “No, it is not a person.”

LAURA: “I do not do that.”

CAMERON: “I do.”

NICK: “That’s why you’re on the mission, Karma.”

CAMERON: “Because it’s a person?”

NICK: “No, because you have that particular set of skills.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay.”

LAURA: “I assumed if you are moving someone in a box in cargo it is usually more of a slavery thing than a bounty thing.”

CAMERON: “Or a dead thing.”

LAURA: “I will do a bounty thing, no slavery. No.”

HUDSON: “Can we play 20 Questions to figure out what’s in the box?”

STEVEN: “That’s a wonderful idea.”

NICK: “Sure. I love games.”

LAURA: “Or you could just tell us. You could just tell us. We will probably end up looking in the box anyways, so.”

NICK: “Well, the box is mostly packing materials. I’m not sure if it’s in that box, I just assume it will be from who I dealt with in the past. It’s an artifact of sorts, and I need it for something else, and I need someone to bring it to someone else, and that is why you are all here.”

CAMERON: “This is the most specific job I’ve ever received.”

NICK: “Well, I mean, it’s smuggling. Right? I don’t have to tell you everything. I just need this box moved somewhere else. It’s very straightforward. It is not a person.”

CAMERON: “That’s why I’m not a smuggler.”

STEVEN: “Is this a smuggling operation? This isn’t just a transport op?”

NICK: “Well, yes, because the Empire does not want it delivered.”


LAURA: “But how illegal is it? Like, pay someone to look the other way, or just straight up we are going to jail for a very long time if it is caught?”

NICK: The hologram looks considerate for a second and says, “Well, there are no specific laws banning the use of the particular technology, so nobody is looking out for it, but if you run into anyone who knows what it is it will probably not go well, so I would not advertise what you’re carrying.”

STEVEN: “What sort of people might know what this is? Who should we stay away from?”

NICK: “Anyone with a PhD I would avoid.”

LAURA: “Okie. So stormtroopers are fine.”

NICK: “Yeah. Stormtroopers will not be interested in this particular thing.”

HUDSON: “How long do we have?”

NICK: “The trip should take about a day to get there, and then the next leg of the trip should take you less than a couple of weeks. I would prefer you not take any side adventures.”

HUDSON: “Most important question. What do we get for this?”

NICK: “Money. A lot of money.”

STEVEN: “Credits, or human money? Osaron money?”

CAMERON: “So, what do you consider a lot of money? When I took up this bounty originally it was 4,000 credits, and then when I actually delivered, alive and very quickly, and you know efficiently as you mentioned, it was only worth 750 credits, so exactly what number are we working towards?”

NICK: “Forty thousand credits.”

LAURA: “Per person, or total?”

NICK: “Total. You’ll have to split it.”

STEVEN: “You got 4,000 credits? All I got was—“

CAMERON: “No. that’s what I was just saying.”

STEVEN: “Oh. I didn’t even get offered that. All I got was the job on this crew.”

CAMERON: “Well, apparently you weren’t supposed to be here, so.”

LAURA: “Well, I was promised a lot of money, so…”

NICK: For the record, side note, 40,000 credits is a shit ton of money.

STEVEN: Yeah, it sounds like a lot of money.

NICK: That’s like most of a ship, so, it’s pretty good. Yeah.

He looks like he leans back in his seat, because the hologram shifts angles a little bit. “So, now that we have that out of the way, the most important thing would be—“ and then there’s a loud bang that shakes the room. You hear the building rattle and some dust comes down from the ceiling. The hologram looks up. “Well, I guess we won’t have time for the cargo and the credits. It appears we have unwanted visitors. I suggest that you leave immediately.”

There’s another bang and the door that you entered through slides open. At the end of the hall, from the entrance of the building, you see a squad of six stormtroopers in black armor moving quickly down the hallway covering each other. There’s a rumbling noise, and all of the doors on either side of the hallway shoot down through the floor like elevators, leaving a view of empty rooms behind, like the side rooms have all jettisoned. The troopers snap to look at the doorways and then back to your group in the room. One stormtrooper has a data pad hooked to a panel on the wall. The stormtrooper presses a button and all the lights flicker off. A door behind you slides open.

Out of the walls of the room the voice of your contact says, “Three blocks north, there’s a pleasure yacht on a landing pad. It’s my personal ship. Get there, get into orbit, and head to Unroola Dawn. You need to speak with (static). He’s the man in charge. (static) Outpost 4 (static).”

LAURA: “You are breaking up! Hello?”

NICK: And you hear the word Sentinel, and then it goes dead. The troopers begin shooting through the door, and as the other room opens up you can see there is a dark hallway that leads outside.

CAMERON: When the troopers start shooting I drop, so I’m underneath the table, and take my heavy blaster off of my back.

NICK: Okay, so you take cover. Is anybody else doing anything?

HUDSON: I grab my vibro-axe and kind of crouch, which makes me about average height of everyone else.


NICK: Okay.

LAURA: I wave a little bit at the stormtroopers, and then hide under the table and pull my gun out.

STEVEN: Yeah, I just stand still.

NICK: You just stand there?

CAMERON: You were sitting.

STEVEN: I sit, and—

NICK: You have another sip of whiskey?


NICK: Okay. So, these are not stormtroopers that you have seen before. They’re not the ones that would be on patrols. They look pretty scary, and there’s at least six of them. Are you going to shoot at them or are you going to run?

CAMERON: Now that I’m crouched I’m backing towards the door behind us that opened.

LAURA: How close am I to the whiskey bottle?

NICK: You could probably reach up above the table and grab it.

LAURA: Yeah. I’m gonna reach up above my head, pull it back down…

STEVEN: “Hey!”

LAURA: Is there a stopper in it?

NICK: It’s a decanter, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. So, I’m just gonna like put it in my coat a little bit, and then start making my way to the back door.

HUDSON: I yell, “Are we being detained?” (laughter)

NICK: You just hear radio chatter coming from the room, it’s indistinct from the hallway, and some blaster fire starts heading towards you.

LAURA: “I would say that is a yes.”

STEVEN: I look visibly disappointed that the whiskey bottle left the table.

NICK: Yeah. Are you all leaving or are you gonna fight these guys? It sounds like two people are leaving.

LAURA: I’m leaving.

CAMERON: Well, I’m backing away so I can still provide cover fire if necessary.

HUDSON: I start backing away to follow everyone else.

LAURA: I’ll go first.

NICK: Do you wanna roll me a Shooting check to see how well you can lay down covering fire?

CAMERON: A Shooting check? Sure.

NICK: If you do well enough they won’t start shooting at you as well because…

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: The difficulty would be hard because it’s dark, and you don’t have targets, and they’re kind of far away.

CAMERON: Okay. I’m sure this will be fine. Nope, a failure, but two advantages.

NICK: So, what would you like your advantages to be?

CAMERON: Okay. Can my advantages be that… So, I’m shooting over the table and stuff, I want to shoot the panel next to the door and have the door close.

NICK: Sure, why not. We’ll make that happen. You don’t hit anyone, you don’t lay down covering fire, but the door is shut, and you hear blaster fire hammer into the panel. You have a brief moment of respite while you’re being chased.

CAMERON: Then I turn and run.

NICK: Okay. You just book it?

CAMERON: Down the hallway, yeah.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: I was already booking it down the hallway. Yeah.

NICK: You’re already gone. So, Xianna just took off down the hallway, the door is shut, what about Tink and Sabos?

HUDSON: Yeah, I run behind Xianna.

STEVEN: I’m gonna use the opportunity to get the hell out, too.

NICK: Okay. You’re all booking it down this hallway. You go down the hallway, there’s nothing there, it’s very dim. There’s like one emergency red light hanging from the ceiling. You get to the end of the hall and a door slides open, and you are on a street back behind the building. Now remember, this was a small brick-like building with two very large spires on either side that are hundreds of feet tall and this building looks more like a utility closet than anything else, honestly. So, you’re on a street. There is no foot traffic, and you actually see on either end of the street there are some militarized speeders parked, and you can see CorSec people standing there, but they’re not really looking around. They mostly look put out, and you can see a couple of different squads of stormtroopers doing like an area sweep coming towards the building. They have not seen you yet, though, because you are all in the doorway.


LAURA: Does it look like there’s any small doors that we could run to? Ladders? Anything like that?

NICK: Hmm… Yes. There are some fire escapes in this part of the town, because there are a lot of low buildings in between all the big spires, and the big spires have to be far apart because their about a quarter of a mile wide at the base. So, there’s some fire escapes, there’s some alley ways, there are doors but most of the ones that are open are businesses or parts of these giant spires. They don’t look like an easy way to go through.

LAURA: Can I roll a Streetwise check to see which alley way would be the best to go down?

NICK: You absolutely can, using dice.

LAURA: Yay. What would be the difficulty?

NICK: For an alley way, average.

LAURA: Hey. A success and an advantage.

NICK: You can tell that the closest couple of alleys are probably dead ends, but if you make it a block down the street you could find a way into a network of alleys that would lead you pretty far. You’re pretty familiar with this part of town, because you’ve been casing the city of Coronet for quite some time.

LAURA: Indeed.

NICK: So, do you want to tell people that?

LAURA: “There is an alley way over there that we could go down. It’s pretty complicated, so if they do follow us it would be pretty hard to. We could easily lose them.”

CAMERON: “Mkay. You blend in, don’t you, big guy?”

HUDSON: “Eh, I’ve been told so.”

CAMERON: Because it’s snowy outside, right? You said it’s very cold.

NICK: It’s very cold. It’s not snowing.


HUDSON: “I mean, I’m not the tallest creature I’ve ever seen. So, it should be fine.”

LAURA & CAMERON: Could it be snowing?!

NICK: You can flip a light side point.

CAMERON: Yes! It’s snowing!

LAURA: It is snowing.

CAMERON: Tink blends in!

NICK: Since you’ve gone inside it has started snowing, and there is a light dusting on the ground, and there are flurries and motes in the air that would make it harder to see Tink, and honestly harder for you to see them and for them to see you.

LAURA: I put my scanner goggles on.

NICK: Okay. You see that there is at least three squads of six, just at a glance. They’re all wearing that black, shiny stormtrooper armor which you’ve never seen before.

LAURA: “That is not good.”

NICK: Yeah. It’s not good. So, you know what alley you are aiming for. Can I get Stealth checks from everyone? With two blue dice, because you are in the snow now.

LAURA: Cool.


STEVEN: So, assuming one does not have Stealth…

CAMERON: (laughs) You just make an Agility roll.

NICK: It would just be your Agility, yeah.

CAMERON: So it would be two greens for you.

NICK: It’s not like Deadlands where you lose a whole bunch of points for not having it.

CAMERON: What is the difficulty?

NICK: Hmm, hard. They have equipment. I forgot.

LAURA: So, two to three and two threats.

NICK: Okay. I’ve got the threats. Don’t worry about it too much.

CAMERON: Alright. I have a lot of dice. Three successes, an advantage, and a triumph.

NICK: Wow. Anything particular you want the triumph to be? The triumph could be that a taxi parks right in front of your alley and you can just climb in.

CAMERON: You know, that sounds great.

NICK: Yeah. So, no more stealth needed.

CAMERON: Let’s do that.

NICK: Yeah, and the snow covers you enough that everybody is able to slip into the taxi. The person in the taxi is actually Seeley Mox who some of you all may remember from your adventures. That’s the scrawny blond guy who was Sabos’s getaway driver and the informant for Tink, and he’s behind the wheel. He looks back at you, he throws his arm over the back seat, and he says, “Well, it looked like there was something weird going on. We haven’t seen drop ships on Coronet in a long time, and something told me that Tink was going to be involved. Whenever he asks a lot of questions and then things start showing up in the morgue I get nervous. The good news is I knew exactly where to find you.”

HUDSON: “Good instincts, Seeley. Thank you, friend.”

STEVEN: “Thanks again.”

NICK: “You’re welcome. Where are you all headed?”

CAMERON: I whisper to Xianna, “He seems like kind of a dangerous person to be around, then.”

LAURA: “I mean, but then again I also killed someone this morning and stole his drugs, so I feel like I’m pretty on par, so…”

CAMERON: “Good company, then.”

HUDSON: “I can hear you whispering. He is trustworthy.”


LAURA: What was the address or place we were supposed to go to?

NICK: He said three blocks north.

STEVEN: So, about two blocks more?

LAURA: Yeah, however that translates, if it’s two more blocks or three more blocks…

NICK: Yeah. You tell him that you’re headed north and that you’re looking for some sort of landing pad, because you’re looking for a ship. He goes, “Huh. Okay. Let’s do this thing.” He throws it into whatever the speeder equivalent is of going straight into third gear and gooses it, and goes like barrel rolling over one of the buildings and takes off. These are some of your threats kicking in. You hear the stormtroopers, even from this distance, some of them have loudspeaker shoulder pad things on. You hear them go ‘hey!’ and then the speeder is gone. In the snow flurries behind you you see flashes of red light, and the speeder takes off. Whoosh!

The taxi with Seeley Mox goes through a lot of unnecessary aerial acrobatics, and in between alley ways sideways, and you get there very quick. You go past the landing strip, loop around for a while, and then come back. He drops you off and he says, “Well, uh, good luck I guess. I guess this is the place. There’s no other landing pads around here, so.”

CAMERON: “Thanks.”

HUDSON: I pay him.

CAMERON: Do you tip him?

HUDSON: Absolutely.

NICK: Okay. You hand him what?

HUDSON: “What’s the fare?”

NICK: “Uh, 40 credits and a favor will be fine.”

HUDSON: “Alright.” I don’t tip then.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Okay. He charges you a lot, but he saved your life, so, yeah. He goes speeding off and does a barrel roll, and just keeps going. It’s basically a Honda Civic but a speeder, like it’s not an impressive speeder.

HUDSON: And flying it like the Millennium Falcon.

NICK: Yeah, pretty much. He drives it like he stole it, all the time. He goes around a corner and you hear that stereotypical car  crash and rolling hubcap noise, and then it keeps going.

LAURA: “Huh.”

NICK: You are sitting in a landing strip in a clearing between buildings. It’s basically, imagine like a basketball court in a city where it’s just a concrete area raised up a little bit, and there’s a ship sitting there. So, it is a Starwind pleasure yacht.


NICK: A little bit of background: The Starwind class pleasure yacht was originally Kuat driveyard’s attempt to create a competitor for Corellian Engineering Corporation’s YT series. However, before the project even launched KDY changed their mind and repackaged the ship as a luxury yacht. Any of you pilots or ship enthusiasts?

STEVEN: I am indeed a pilot.

CAMERON: I have flown things.


HUDSON: I’m a planetary pilot.

CAMERON: I used to have a ship.

NICK: Yeah? Okay, so none of y’all are like really big into this, but what—

STEVEN: Oh, that’s what I do.

NICK: What?

STEVEN: Pilot.

NICK: Pilot?


STEVEN: I am a fringer and explore things.

LAURA: Well, do you have Piloting?

CAMERON: He does, actually.

STEVEN: I do have both Piloting in planetary and space.

NICK: Okay, so you’re a pilot. This ship is kind of like a flying saucer looking ship with a turret above and below, and it has two little fins sticking off of the sides that are storage, and then there’s a little cockpit that sticks out of the front. It’s not particularly pretty, it doesn’t fly particularly well, but it can hold a bunch of stuff and it is also very comfortable.

STEVEN: Perfect.

NICK: Have you ever been in a pleasure yacht? A Starwind pleasure yacht?

STEVEN: I think I might’ve seen one or two on Osaron, but I try to stay away from there. So, no.

CAMERON: Those are just the pesky tourists.


NICK: Okay. So then you would know that the trident shaped starship has two side sections mounted along each side of the ship’s main hull. One side contains a pretty good sized cargo hold, and the other side contains the crew quarters, so it’s like a bunk house thing. Then in the middle, this is the reason you all have this ship, it has the bridge, the guest quarters, the state-room, the lounge, the galley, the conference room, the holo-theater, and even a zero-G relaxation table.

HUDSON: No bowling alley?

CAMERON: No movie theater?

NICK: No bowling alley, no. there’s a holo-theater. That’s literally a movie theater.

CAMERON: Okay, yeah.

LAURA: That is, yeah, a movie theater.

NICK: So it’s very nice. It has a thorough catalog of amenities and pretty good cargo holding. The thing is these are pretty rare. They don’t have a lot of drawbacks, but the thing is, because it’s a freighter and a yacht at the same time, it’s basically as expensive as if you bought one of each, so you don’t see a lot of them around because most people if they want a freighter will buy a freighter, if they want a nice yacht they’ll buy a nice yacht. There isn’t a lot of mixed together with that. So, you’ve seen them, you know sometimes people use them as like command centers if they’re a big corporation or something, but there’s not a lot of them. This ship is called the…

HUDSON: Pretty In Pink.


CAMERON: (laughs) Oh god.

STEVEN: That’s unfortunate.

LAURA: The Executor.

NICK: No. you can’t name it after Darth Vader’s.

LAURA: The Dreadnaught.

CAMERON: The Enterprise.

NICK: The Rose Tico.

HUDSON: Should call it My Pleasure. (noises of disgust) Yeah, let’s all cringe real quick. Afternoon Delight?


CAMERON: Ohhh. Can we name it the Afternoon Delight?

LAURA: It’s a pleasure yacht.

STEVEN & CAMERON: It is a pleasure yacht.

LAURA: If there’s not a button on it that shoots out fireworks yelling it’s my birthday I’m gonna be disappointed.

NICK: Okay. It’s the Afternoon Delight. It’s stenciled on the side. You can see that it was probably called something else before and that’s been lasered off and painted over. You can’t make out what it is.

So, the ramp drops and you’re able to get up and into the ship very easily. It’s very spacious. There’s a lot of synthetic white marble looking stuff, like really nice laminate that’s patterned to look like white marble or plasteel that’s very polished and nice. There’s a lot of red velvet, more than you would expect to see. There’s a lot of gold piping. Think of the decoration scheme as like expensive, yet very tacky movie theater. That’s what the interior of this thing looks like.

LAURA: No, that’s exactly what I’m expecting.

HUDSON: Tink loves it. He rubs his hand across some of the velvet.

LAURA: Like, is there a water bed? I’m expecting a water bed.

NICK: Yeah. All of the mattresses are water beds.


STEVEN: Excellent.

HUDSON: And you hit a switch and they like come out of the wall.

LAURA: And rotate? Because they’re circular water beds, right?

HUDSON: Circular.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: So, the main crew quarters has several cabins. One of those has a rotating water bed, and there’s a couple of cabins in the main hull, and those have different bed setups than the rest of them. The rest are all like, they would be bunk rooms, in a normal ship that makes sense, it would be bunk beds stuck into the walls so that it could sleep 15 people, instead it’s like two queens per cabin. It can sleep a lot of people. I think it’s like 12, or something like that.

HUDSON: For parties.

CAMERON: For all of our friends we collect on our adventures.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna would immediately be like, “I call a room with a water bed. I want one of those. In case we sleep here, I want a water bed. It seems fun.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

NICK: So, it can take a pilot, a co-pilot, an engineer and two gunners to fly it.

STEVEN: Uh-oh.

NICK: You don’t have to have all that, though. This one doesn’t say what the passenger capacity is, but I’d say it’s probably like 12 or 15 people. It’s for like birthday parties. Yeah.

HUDSON: Just birthday parties.

CAMERON: Just birthday parties, only. (laughs)

NICK: So, that’s the Afternoon Delight. You all get on board and prepare to take off. So, who’s gonna do what on the ship? What are your stations going to be?

STEVEN: I’ll be the captain.

CAMERON: “Does anyone fly?”

STEVEN: “I fly, in fact.”

CAMERON: “Well? You do fly?”

STEVEN: “Over on the outer rim things get a little bit, you know, loosey goosey.”

CAMERON: “Alright.”

LAURA: “What does loosey goosey mean?”

STEVEN: “Very good. Things are nice.”

LAURA: I look at Karma. I’m like, “Is that—“

CAMERON: “That means something different.”

LAURA: “Okie. That’s what I thought.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, that’s not—No.”

NICK: He means like balance-y bantha-y.

STEVEN: “Do y’all fly?”

LAURA: “No~”

CAMERON: “Probably better than you.”

STEVEN: “Alright then.”

CAMERON: “I’ll babysit. Alright, let’s go to the cockpit.”

LAURA: I mean, what is your Agility?


CAMERON: He does have a skill in pilot. I don’t have any, but my Agility is three.

LAURA: Because I have a three in Agility, but I just don’t have any skills.

HUDSON: “I’ll be the mechanic.”

CAMERON: Tink announces.

STEVEN: “That wasn’t a… I think you mean engineer.”

HUDSON: “I’ll be the engineer mechanic.”

STEVEN: “Wonderful. We were looking for one of those.”

LAURA: Is a ship gun Gunnery?


LAURA: I can do that, because at least I have a three in Agility.

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: “Oh, are you a gunnery?”

LAURA: “I can take the guns. You know, make pew-pew-pews.”

CAMERON: “Hopefully we won’t need them yet.”

STEVEN: “You seem to be the type to use the guns.”

LAURA: “To make pew-pew noises? (giggles) yes.”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Alright. Can we get this moving, Mr. Togruta?”

STEVEN: “Let’s do this thing.”

NICK: So, who’s taking the pilot seat and who’s taking the co-pilot seat?

CAMERON: I take the co-pilot seat.

STEVEN: yeah, I’m the pilot.

NICK: Okay. You seem so confident.

STEVEN: Yup. It’s gonna go so well.

HUDSON: His lack of confidence is disturbing.

STEVEN: We might need the gunner to get off.

CAMERON: I have to be there to shoot him if—(laughs)

NICK: Oh yeah.

CAMERON: Because we were given instructions.

STEVEN: “I am Councilman Sako.”

CAMERON: “No you’re not.”

STEVEN: “Yup.”

NICK: I need Sabos to make a Piloting check, please. This one’s easy. This is just lifting off, getting used to the ship.

HUDSON: While he’s doing that I check all the knobs and doohickeys and make sure everything’s ready to go.

NICK: (grinning) Roll me a Mechanics check.

HUDSON: What difficulty?

NICK: Average, if you’re just poking at knobs and doohickeys.

STEVEN: It was a success and an advantage.

NICK: A success and an advantage, you’re able to lift off, seal it up for orbit, and take to the skies. It goes pretty well. That advantage will come into play in just a minute, so hang onto that.


LAURA: I imagine I would just get in one of the gunnery seats and just kind of poke around at stuff, not fire anything, but just make sure that okay, these buttons do this, this is my visibility, this is how much my chair moves. I’m probably going to have to like adjust the chair up and down to get to the right height.

HUDSON: I have five successes and a threat for Mechanics.

CAMERON: Dang, Hudson.

NICK: Wooow. Okay, so with five successes you are now intimately familiar with the ship, which has one dorsal and one ventral turret mounted medium laser cannon, so it can shoot in a circle either way, so you can pick which one you want. They don’t like, connect, but that’s a mod that could be installed at some point if you would so care to do so.

LAURA: Mm, I want the dorsal one.

NICK: You know that the passenger capacity is ten, because I found that stat while I was looking at this, and that the encumbrance capacity is 85, so it can carry a decent amount of stuff but it is by no means a tanker. Eighty-five would be like, you could fit a car in here, a couple of cars honestly. So, you know that, you know that the ship has some secrets.

PLAYERS: (in unison) Ooooh.

NICK: Whoa, that was really good. Good job, everybody. You know that there’s some stuff about it that’s probably a little different. With your threat you’re not sure exactly what, but that it bears further investigation. You also know it hasn’t really been upgraded at all, so it has a couple of hard points and things that you could, if you keep the ship for a while, you could change as it goes. So, you take to the skies, and it goes ‘bee-doo,’ and the ship flies up into the atmosphere, and it’s very exciting, and everyone is excited. Yay.

As you breech the atmosphere, you see a small Star Destroyer. Would anybody be versed in different Star Destroyers and stuff for Imperials?

LAURA: I have Underworld.

HUDSON: As do I.

LAURA: And Streetwise.

NICK: Eh, this would be like an inner rim kind of thing.

CAMERON: Skill wise no, but I’d have some familiarity with them being a bounty hunter, probably taking Empire bounties.

LAURA: I use to live on an Empire occupied planet, if that helps.

NICK: Ryloth won’t help, because they have just a big one. This is a small one. It looks weird.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: I can negotiate. Does Negotiation come in handy here?

CAMERON: (laughs) Not yet. Not yet.

STEVEN: We can just talk to the Star Destroyer. ‘Hey, we’re leaving.’

HUDSON: Talking does solve many problems.

NICK: It might. I need just a straight Intelligence check from I guess Karma and… Xianna, you can do one, too.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?

LAURA: Okay. I mean, I’m in the gunnery seat.

NICK: Hard.

CAMERON: You can see it from the gunnery seat. I turn on the ship coms. We can talk to each other now. … Hey! Success.

LAURA: Nope.

NICK: Okay, so you’ve never seen one of these before, which I said, so that’s pretty cool that the dice backed me up on that. Karma, looking out through the cockpit you know a couple things. One, you know that the Empire doesn’t really hang out around Corellia. Corellia’s…

CAMERON: Space Texas.

NICK: Space Texas. Yeah. They kind of run their own stuff. They’re a part of the Empire, and they do their own thing, so stormtroopers being here is weird. You also know that this ship, which you have seen before in some situation or another, you probably would have dropped a bounty off here at least once, is an Imperial Raider class corvette. It’s not that big. It’s only about 150 meters long, and it has fins sticking off the sides that look like giant versions of tie-fighter advanced wings on it, and they use it for like patrol routes and stuff. It’s not very big, it only has like 20 ties on it, but it has complements of troops, and apparently it has drop pods because they dropped stormtroopers on you to go try and stop whatever you were doing.

So, as you get to orbit your com beeps at you. Do you answer it?


NICK: Do YOU answer it?

CAMERON: I answer it.

NICK: Okay. As you key it on you hear an imperious voice say, “Starship Afternoon Delight, what is your business and why are you leaving this orbit?”

CAMERON: “This is Karma Nailo. I just dropped off a bounty and I’m headed back out.”

NICK: “We don’t have you on the registration. What are you doing? There are fugitives fleeing the scene of a crime right now, and we need to have this planet on lockdown. Please return to your birth and wait for further instructions.”

CAMERON: I look over at Sabos.

STEVEN: “This is Councilman Sako.”


NICK: I want a Deception roll, please.


LAURA: Can you do the Deception?

STEVEN: Yeah, why not.

STEVEN: How hard is it?

NICK: It’s gonna be hard.

STEVEN: Is that four or three?

NICK: Three.

STEVEN: Alright then.

NICK: Give you a 50/50 shot.

STEVEN: No, that didn’t go well.


STEVEN: Three failures.

HUDSON: That’s like Sako’s right beside him. ‘Wait, no, that’s not me. I’m here.’

NICK: So, over the com you hear this voice say, “Oh really? Councilman Sako? It’s me, your cousin, Bert. How strange that you sound different than usual.” (laughter) You hear the voice turn away from the microphone and say, “Open fire,” and the com shuts out.

STEVEN: (sighs) “I meant Sabos!”

CAMERON: “I’m gonna need you to fly now.”

LAURA: I yell down the hall. “When you are pretending to be a person make sure it is not a real person that might know people. Just a tip!”

STEVEN: I just tap on the mic and say, “I meant Sabos. Sabos, Councilman Sabos.”

CAMERON: “Sweetie, they hung up.”

LAURA: “It is too late. I am going to have to shoot people now.”

NICK: A turbo laser grazes the shields on the ship and the whole ship rattles. I am going to need a Vigilance check from Sabos because he is the pilot.

STEVEN: Yeah, sure. Perfect. How hard is it?

NICK: It’s just the roll.

CAMERON: Three advantages.

NICK: (sarcastically) Great. So, two tie-fighters come from the back side of this planet up and flank you, and begin shooting at you. I need you to roll two greens against two purples for me, please.


NICK: And also, you’re being bombarded with turbo lasers right now, which is also not good.

STEVEN: I yell out to Xianna. “Open fire.”

LAURA: “That is what I am doing!” I’m just in the process of like getting that weird 70s screen lined up, so I have my yellow grid, and I’m just trying to line my yellow grid up with their red dot.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: That’s the issue, I’m just like figuring it out. The ships I’ve previously used have a red grid, and you line it up on a yellow dot, and that’s throwing me off.


NICK: Okay. And so also, this isn’t like the turret for the Millennium Falcon. This is like a movie theater recliner chair, so it has the grid and as you rotate the joysticks and everything it doesn’t actually rotate the chair, the dome above you just spins around.

LAURA: That’s the confusing part for me! I’m used to the chair rotating, so I’m a little discombobulated, which is why it just takes me a few extra seconds to shoot, and why I’m not actively shooting while Steven is rolling.

NICK: But the chair is real comfortable, that’s that advantage from earlier.

LAURA: Ooh, comfy chair. Nope, wash.

STEVEN: Literally nothing happens.

NICK: Okay, so, we won’t worry about specific damage numbers, but the ship takes a pretty good hit. The ship starts to rattle and claxons start going off.

STEVEN: “Engineer?”

HUDSON: I actually look to see if there’s any type of device where I can forge communication to the other ship.

NICK: Yeah, absolutely. You can patch into the com system.

LAURA: I mean, it’s probably a little late for that.

HUDSON: Well no, I’m not patching in to deceive. I’m patching in to pretend like I’m their headquarters and say to call it off.


CAMERON: So, to deceive.


HUDSON: So, would that be Deception or Engineering?

NICK: Okay. So, if you’re trying to just send a signal that would be Code Breaking, so it’s gonna be daunting, so that’s four, and a black die.

HUDSON: I lose the black die because of the skill I have.

NICK: There you go. The black die is because you’re trying to steal their wi-fi password.

HUDSON: Yes. What am I rolling for again? Computers?

NICK: Yeah, Computers.

HUDSON: Okay, so I have a success and a threat.

NICK: Oh-ho-ho. Okay. The success, so you send them a signal that’s basically a distress signal from a nearby system and they’re the only ones close enough to get there. It’s a specific Imperial code. You’ve seen it before. You patch it in, and they buy it immediately. The tie-fighters immediately take off because they’re informed they will get left here, and they can’t enter atmosphere and they don’t have enough life support to wait until they get back, so they need to get on that ship.

HUDSON: “I got this everybody!”

NICK: So, what you all see from the cockpit is you see the tie-fighters swoosh past you, not loop around for another pass, just B-line for the ship, and the corvette starts to peel off in that slow motion starship thing, and as soon as the tie-fighters go out of vision, like they’re too far, you see the ship (snap) blink into light speed and it’s gone. You’re not sure if the tie-fighters made it or not, but ship’s gone. Threat is, next time you try to pull some hijinks like this, you left your little hacker signature in there, like they were able to see that it came from like your IP Address, so there’s gonna be more defenses next time.

HUDSON: ROFL leet hacker was on there. I couldn’t help myself.


LAURA: Oh no.

NICK: Okay. You have the coordinates for Unroola Dawn. I just need somebody to put in a hyperspace calculation.

LAURA: I do not have Astrogation.

CAMERON: I’ma look at you, buddy. Sabos knows Astrogation.

STEVEN: Oh yeah, we can Astrogate.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, you have points in that.

HUDSON: You seem real good at it.

STEVEN: How hard is it?

NICK: It’s average, but you have a black die because something’s going on with your hardware right now.


CAMERON: None of your skills, or whatever they’re called, on your tree… Do you have any of those?

STEVEN: Mm. ‘Remove black die from \inaudible\ galaxy mapper—‘

CAMERON: Hey! I thought you had that one.

NICK: Good for you!

STEVEN: I’ll go ahead and get rid of that.

NICK: So, you’re able to work around whatever is throwing off your ship.

STEVEN: It did not go well.

CAMERON: (snorts, laughs) It doesn’t matter.

NICK: Oh, jeez.

CAMERON: Three failures and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. So, you punch in the coordinates, and push that little lever forward that everyone has and looks the same no matter what ship you’re on, and the star field in front of you stretches out into white lines, and you vanish into the darkness of space. That’s where we’ll end this episode.

(all make dramatic noises)

PLAYERS: (singing) For the longest time!

NICK: No! No! That’s not the thing!


## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

In an effort to make the podcast as accessible as possible we will begin releasing transcripts of each episode.

Starting today we will release transcripts for episodes 1 and 2. We will then start releasing transcripts of the regular episodes until we catch up, hopefully at a rate of one episode transcript per week.

Once we have caught up with regular episodes we will go back and begin to transcribe the prologues. We produce our transcripts by running them through transcription software and then manually editing incorrect text or anything that didn’t get caught (usually Star Wars words and overlapping speech). Due to the lower audio quality of the prologues much, much more of them will have to be manually edited. We do not have any sort of time line for this at the moment.


Transcripts will be available by following the link in the show notes and under the new “Transcripts” menu option under “Episodes”.

If you have corrections for any of the transcripts please do not hesitate to contact us and let us know. We also appreciate any comments, questions, or concerns you may have. We want to make this show as accessible as possible, so if we can do better we would like to know.

The opening scene of our recent Jedi Adventures arc features the Jedi eating noodles at a street vendor on Coruscant. For these noodles we wanted a fast and easy recipe, since these would have needed to be dished out quickly as people ordered them. The sauce requires no cooking and can be made while the water for the noodles are boiling.

Noodles, with extra sambal oelek for serving


These noodles are seriously delicious and so easy. They’re great for weeknight dinners when you want something fast with as little effort as possible. They are also quite tasty cold, making them wonderful to pack for lunch.




The sauce is rich, creamy, and just a little spicy. It starts with sesame paste (sometimes called tahini) and peanut butter. Together these create the rich, luscious base of the sauce. Soy sauce and rice vinegar are added for flavor, sugar for a touch of sweetness, and sambal oelek for just a bit of heat. Then hot vegetable broth is added to thin out the sauce.



Tabletop One’s Tips:

  • Almost any type of round, Asian noodles work for this dish.
    • At normal grocery stores, look for fresh noodles in the Asian section. They will often have vacuum-sealed packets of noodles.
    • If buying dried noodles, look for “white noodles”; noodles made with white flour instead of semolina. Italian pasta is made with semolina wheat flour, which gives it its distinctive yellow color, but imparts a flavor that is not ideal for this dish.
  • Tahini can be found either with the other nut butters, or the “international” aisle, specifically the Greek or Mediterranean section.
  • Sambal oelek is a Southeast Asian chili paste and can usually be found where ever your store sells sriracha (probably the most famous maker of sriracha, Huy Fong, also makes a sambal oelek. It also has a rooster on the jar.)
  • This recipe is easily scaled up to make more than one serving.


Coruscant Street Noodles [serves 1]

6 ounces fresh wheat noodles (or 3 ounces of dried noodles)
1 tablespoon sesame paste/tahini
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1 tablespoon soy sauce
2 teaspoons rice vinegar
1 teaspoon sambal oelek chili paste, or more to taste
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 cup hot vegetable broth
1 tablespoon chopped green onions

Cook the noodles according to the instructions on the package.

While the noodles are cooking, make the sauce by combining the remaining ingredients, except the green onions. Stir until it forms a smooth, even sauce.

When the noodles are cooked, drain them and toss with the sauce, and place into a bowl.

Top with the chopped green onions and serve immediately.


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