Author: Laura Penrod

Bantha Blasters are first ordered during Episode 24. They’re pink and green, and pop and fizz. Our real life version uses watermelon for the pink, melon liqueur for the green, and Pop Rocks for some great popping and fizzing.

Finished drink and a small bowl of Pop Rocks
A good ol’fashioned Bantha Blaster

This recipe uses seedless watermelon, vodka, simple syrup, lime juice, Midori melon liqueur, and, finally, Pop Rocks.

All the ingredients laid out
Bantha Blaster in the making.

Now, we had some real trouble finding Pop Rocks in our local grocery stores and ended up buying a few packages online. Sadly, the online packs did not have the flavor we wanted: Green Apple. The Green Apple is preferred for its green color, but other flavors will work if you also have trouble finding them.

First, cut up the watermelon into cubes and put them in a blender along with the vodka, simple syrup, and lime juice. Our watermelon was a little under-ripe so we used 2 ounces of simple syrup. Use less if your melon is nice and ripe.

A clear pink blender canister filled with watermelon and other ingredients.
And yes, this is blender was once used at a certain coffee chain.

Blend everything up until smooth. There will be watermelon “foam” at the top and more of a juice at the bottom.

Two tall glasses filled with ice cubes, each with a small amount of melon liqueur at the bottom.
The first layer.

Fill 2 highball glasses with ice and pour 1 ounce of midori into each glass. Using a fine mesh strainer or something similar, strain the watermelon mix between the 2 glasses. This will remove the foamy pulp so that you’re left with a smooth juice.

Two tall glasses filled with ice cubes, each with a small amount of melon liqueur at the bottom, and the watermelon mix on top.
Getting ready for those popping rocks.

Very carefully pour 1 package of pop rocks onto the top of each drink. Very carefully! If your Pop Rocks are particularly “fresh” or you live in a fairly dry environment the Pop Rocks might, well… pop quite vigorously when they hit the liquid. When we first made this drink a while back the Pop Rocks exploded everywhere and made a bit of a mess. For this photoshoot the house was humid and since the candy had to sit out while everything was made they didn’t react quite as violently.

A top down shot of the finished drink, topped with red Pop Rocks.
Shown here with Watermelon Pop Rocks.

Bantha Blasters [serves 2]

2 cups fresh seedless watermelon, cut into cubes about 1/2-inch in diameter
4 ounces vodka
1-2 ounces simple syrup, depending on how sweet your watermelon is*
2 ounces lime juice
2 ounces midori
1 small package Green Apple Pop Rocks**


Place watermelon, vodka, simple syrup, and lime juice in blender. Process until smooth. Fill 2 highball glasses with ice and pour 1 ounce of midori into each glass. Strain the watermelon mix between the 2 glasses. Very carefully pour 1 package of pop rocks onto the top of each drink.

*Simple Syrup recipe found here
**Or whatever flavor you can find.

In episode 23 the crew treats themselves to some ice cream. They get pistachio, lime, and salted caramel. Pistachio and salted caramel are easy enough to find in the grocery store, but lime can sometimes be tricky to get (outside of sherbet and sorbet). So today we’re making lime ice cream and using coconut milk as the base. This adds a wonderful hint of coconut flavor, and keeps the recipe vegan.

Waffle cone bowl with scoops of lime ice cream topped with coconut flakes and a lime slice.
Scoop into a waffle cone and top with coconut flakes!

The ingredients for the recipe laid out on a cutting board.

This ice cream uses coconut milk and coconut cream in place of traditional dairy. Coconut cream and milk have higher fat contents than many other non-dairy alternatives and will give your ice cream a smooth, creamy taste.

Cornstarch and xantham gum are used as thickeners and binders. They will keep the coconut fat from separating out of the mixture and make the base thicker which will create a richer mouthfeel.

Xantham gum is a soluble fiber and bags of it can usually be found in the baking aisle. Most grocery stores I’ve been to carry the Bob’s Red Mill brand. If you can’t find it, or don’t want to buy a whole bag for one recipe you can leave it out.

Coconut milk and cornstarch being mixed in a small bowl.
Tiny whisk not required.

In a small bowl or cup pour ½ cup coconut milk. Whisk in the cornstarch until completely combined. Mixing the cornstarch into a small amount of liquid will make it easy to combine and prevent clumps.

This will get set to the side to be used later.

A saucepan with coconut milk and cream and lime zest being whisked together.

In a saucepan combine the coconut cream, remaining coconut milk, and lime zest. 

Over medium heat bring to a boil, stirring frequently.

An R2-D2 kitchen timer set to 30 minutes with a covered saucepan in the background.
R2 units are quite helpful in the kitchen.

Remove from the heat, cover, and tell your R2 unit to set a timer for 30 minutes.

This will infuse the coconut milk with all the flavor in the zest.

A fine wire strainer atop a metal pitcher.
Any sort of fine wire strainer should work.

Strain the zest out of the coconut mix. At this point the zest has given up its flavor and removing it will give a smoother texture to the ice cream.

Return to a clean saucepan with the xanthan gum, salt, and sugar, and any optional extract or food coloring.

a bottle of lime extract, "leaf green" food coloring, and "lemon yellow" food coloring.

Adding a little bit of lime extract will create a very strong, punchy lime flavor. If you want a more mellow, smooth flavor leave it out.

Naturally this ice cream will have off-white, barely there green color. If you want a more colorful lime green color you can add some food coloring.

A little ceramic bowl with 3 drops yellow food coloring and 1 drop green.  A tiny spoon is in the background.
Tiny spoon not required.

If you can’t find “lime” food coloring, you can make your own by using 3 parts yellow, 1 part green.

I mixedg mine in a little sauce bowl, 1- for the photo and 2- because I want just a hint of color and 4 drops would be too much for that.

But if you want a strong green color go ahead and add 3 drops yellow and 1 drop green directly to the mix.

A small ceramic bowl with mixed food coloring and tiny spoon.
Look at the beautiful color!

This is the finished “lime green” food coloring mix. I used about a fourth of the mix.

Ice cream base before food coloring. Off-white, barest hint of green.

Before

Ice cream base after food coloring. A very pale lime green.

After

Ice cream base boiling in a saucepan.

Stir the ice cream mix over low heat until sugar has fully melted and mixture is warm.

Gradually stream the cornstarch mixture into the saucepan while whisking non-stop. Once everything has been incorporated, whisk continually until the mixture comes to a soft boil.

The ice cream base in a metal pitcher with plastic wrap pushed against the surface of the ice cream base.

Strain the mixture into a large measuring cup or pitcher to remove any lumps. Stir in the lime juice. The lime juice is getting added at the end here to keep it bright and tart.

Press plastic wrap against the surface of the mixture so a skin does not form.

The metal pitcher on a shelf in a fridge.
Maybe there’s too much yogurt.

Place in the refrigerator next to all your yogurt cups and fully chill. You want the ice cream mix to be as cold as possible so when it goes into the ice cream maker it’ll freeze faster, which will make smaller ice crystals which means a smoother texture.

A Cuisinart ice cream machine on a counter with the metal pitcher beside it.

Churn in an ice cream maker, following the machine’s instructions. You could make this recipe and use a “no churn” or “no machine” method, but the result won’t be as airy and smooth. An ice cream machine will freeze the mixture faster, creating smaller ice crystals, and churning will introduce air, making the ice cream lighter.

Ice cream being churned.
Look at that creaminess.

Once out of the ice cream maker, place in an airtight container, cover, and freeze for at least 3 hours to allow it to further firm up.

Ice cream in a reusable ice cream quart container.
Use a reusable ice cream container or a tupperware.

Lime Coconut Ice Cream [makes about 1 quart]

1 400-ml can coconut milk
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 400-ml can coconut cream
3 tablespoon lime zest (from 2-4 limes)
¼ teaspoon xanthan gum
¼ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup sugar
2 tablespoons lime juice (from 1-3 limes)
Optional: 1/2 teaspoon lime extract
Optional: lime green gel food coloring (or 3 parts yellow + 1 part green)

In a small bowl or cup pour ½ cup coconut milk. Whisk in the cornstarch until completely combined.

In a saucepan combine the coconut cream, remaining coconut milk, and lime zest. Over medium heat bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Remove from the heat, cover, and let sit for 30 minutes.

Strain the zest out of the coconut mix. Return to a clean saucepan with the xanthan gum, salt, and sugar, and any optional extract or food coloring. Whisk to combine. Stir over low heat until sugar has fully melted and mixture is warm.

Gradually stream the cornstarch mixture into the saucepan while whisking non-stop. Once everything has been incorporated, whisk continually until the mixture comes to a soft boil.

Strain the mixture into a large measuring cup or pitcher to remove any lumps. Stir in the lime juice. Press plastic wrap against the surface of the mixture so a skin does not form. Place in the refrigerator until fully chilled.

Churn in an ice cream maker, following the machine’s instructions. Once out of the ice cream maker, place in an airtight container, cover, and freeze for at least 3 hours to allow it to further firm up.

Waffle cone bowl with scoops of lime ice cream topped with coconut flakes and a lime slice.

We’ve reached the final installment of our Nerftown breakfast series: pancakes! And not just any pancakes, but buttermilk buckwheat pancakes. These pancakes are hearty, nutty, and just a little tangy. Perfect for mornings out on the range.

A stack of pancakes with butter and maple syrup.
Nerftown Buckwheat Pancakes

Ingredients of the pancakes laid out in bowls.
All the ingredients.

Buckwheat flour gives these pancakes a delicious nutty taste and hearty texture, but regular all-purpose flour keeps these light and fluffy. The brown sugar will help bump up that wonderful rich flavor of the buckwheat flour. And buttermilk will give a little tang to the batter, but will also help activate the baking powder to give these pancakes more rise.

The flours, sugar, salt, baking soda and powder combined in a bowl.
The flours, sugar, salt, baking soda and powder.

Combine the flours, sugar, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a large bowl. You’ll want to make sure there are no large clumps of flour left.

Melted butter and eggs added to the dry ingredients.
The eggs are under all that butter! We promise.

Add the melted butter and eggs. Stir until just combined.

The buttermilk being poured into the batter.
Pour that good, good buttermilk in.

Pour in the buttermilk and stir. You don’t want to over mix the batter or else the pancakes will come out dense and chewy from the extra gluten formation.

Whisk held above the bowl of batter to show the batter dripping into the bowl.
Texture of the batter.

Batter should be thick, but still pourable.

A pat of butter melting in a cast iron pan.
This is probably too much butter. Learn from our mistakes.

Heat a nonstick pan or heavy cast iron over medium-low heat. Place a small pat of butter on the pan. Once the butter has melted pour batter using a 1/4 cup scoop onto the surface.

Pancake cooking in the pan.
Some bubbles beginning to form.

When bubbles begin to form on the edges of the batter and the edges start to look matte, flip the pancake. Cook until deep golden brown.

Serve with butter and good maple syrup.

Pancakes stacked on a plate. Scones and sausages are in the background.
The full spread.

Nerftown Buckwheat Pancakes

1 cup (120g) buckwheat flour
1 cup (128g)all-purpose flour
4 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1-1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs
2 cups buttermilk
Additional butter; for pan

Combine the flours, sugar, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a large bowl. Add the melted butter and eggs. Stir until just combined. Pour in the buttermilk and stir. Batter should be thick, but still pourable.

Heat a nonstick pan or heavy cast iron over medium-low heat. Place a small pat of butter on the pan. Once the butter has melted pour batter using a 1/4 cup scoop onto the surface. When bubbles begin to form on the edges of the batter, flip the pancake. Cook until deep golden brown.

Repeat with remaining batter.

The crew spends a lot of time during episodes 23 and 24 having breakfast. One of the many things they ate were nerf sausages. We were unable to find any nerf at our local grocery store, so we had to make due with beef. And then we also added some maple and bacon and jalapeno because why not?

Patty sausages on a plate. Scones can be seen in the background.

Nerf Sausage- aka Maple Bacon Jalapeno Beef Sausage

Ground beef chuck and minced bacon make up the bulk of the sausage. You can use whatever type of bacon you’d like, we used an applewood smoked bacon. For seasonings use we salt and pepper, some red pepper flakes, sage, fennel, and nutmeg. Then diced fresh jalapeno for some heat and maple syrup for a bit of sweetness and to mellow out the spice. A little bit of ice water helps everything combine.

The ingredients of the recipe set out in little bowls.
The ingredients

In a large bowl you’ll combine all the ingredients and stir well. Everything must be thoroughly combined.

All the ingredients in a mixing bowl.
Ingredients in a bowl
All the ingredients in a mixing bowl after being mixed.
Mixed mixture.

To form the patties you’ll take 1/4 cup (for small patties) or 1/2 cup (for large patties) of the mixture and form into a disk shape.

7 patties in a cast iron skillet being cooked.
Let’s get cooking!

Heat a heavy skillet or cast iron over medium-low heat. Cook the patties for about 5 to 8 minutes on each side. They should be deep brown on the outside and cooked all the way through.

8 patties in a cast iron skillet being cooked.
Look at those babies… or nerfies?

Serve while still warm.

Patty sausages on a plate.
Mapley bacony spicy sausage goodness.

These freeze incredibly well. Once you’ve formed the patties place them on wax or parchment paper on a tray and place in the freezer for an hour. Transfer them to a freezer bag. Let them thaw before cooking.

Nerf Sausage- aka Maple Bacon Jalapeno Beef Sausage

2 pounds (910g) ground chuck
0.50 lb (230g) minced bacon
1/4 cup (42g) ice water
1/4 cup (60g) maple syrup
1-1/2 teaspoon (11g) kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon (1g) coarsely ground black pepper
1 teaspoon (2g) red pepper flakes
3/4 teaspoon (2g) dried sage
1/2 teaspoon (1g) ground fennel
1/2 teaspoon (1g) ground nutmeg
2-3 (75g) diced jalapeno

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Mix thoroughly until completely combined.

Form into patties using 1/4 cup of the mixture per sausage for small patties, or 1/2 cup for large.

Cook patties over medium-low heat in a cast iron or heavy skillet. Cook until brown and cooked through, approximately 5-8 minutes on each side.

Word document download: Episode 11 Not So Civil Disobedience

PDF download: Episode 11 Not So Civil Disobedience

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 11:
Not So Civil Disobedience

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – When voicing Ithorians, Nick uses an incredibly low, deep, drawn out voice and often pauses in the middle of sentences.

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Friends, a lot of things have happened since two Thursdays ago so stick with me, namely I have some reviewers that I am excited to thank. First up, opRIAter. Thank you so much for your kind words and review. Also, I wanna thank Rated RConO. You’re wonderful. FLSocialWorker, you said some very nice things , and you’re a super cool person. ProperGentleman, you rhymed and were sublime, thank you. I want to thank the user FunnyStarWarsPodcast. You said some extremely kind things, and you have a super appropriate username. Special thanks to FrostyTheSnowman92. Drive safe, and thanks for joining us on our adventures. Last but not least, I want to thank Dolpheus123. You’re a thoughtful and engaging human that we all enjoy.

Phew, that was a lot. Right? Well, for anyone that was counting, that puts us at exactly 20 reviews. Cameron is currently stressfully, but happily, editing our bonus episodes featuring Karma and her twin sons. You can expect the next episode next week. I hope you all look forward to six straight weeks of Star Wars shenanigans. Everyone on Tabletop Squadron is ecstatic with the recent listener responses we’ve been getting, and we want to thank you all from the bottom of our multiple alien hearts.

After all that, thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy.

## [0:02:05]

NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 11 of Tabletop Squadron. I am your host, Nick. This is going pretty good. I’m pretty happy with it. Thank you for joining us on this journey. I’m gonna go around the table. Everybody introduce themselves and their characters, starting off with the person who gave me the double bird when I said 11.

LAURA: Hi, I’m Laura. (laughter) I play Xianna who is a Twi’lek thief, and I did indeed double flip Nick off. I was just making sure you knew we were on Episode 11.

NICK: Yeah, obviously.

LAURA: I was being helpful.

NICK: Thank you very much, Laura. This is great for my self-esteem.

LAURA: You’re welcome.

NICK: And, next we got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi Nick, it’s great to be here.

NICK: I’m glad.

HUDSON: I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: And, Steven.

STEVEN: Hi Nick.

NICK: Hi.

STEVEN: Thank you for allowing me this chair.

NICK: Oh, I mean, it depends on how you behave. We may take it away.

STEVEN: Yeah. … I play Sabos, a Togruta, a fringer. I’m done.

(giggling)

NICK: Good work. Yay!

CAMERON: You should just leave all of those in. Leave the whole thing in.

NICK: Listeners need to know that was like the fourth try. And last but not least, we have Cameron.

CAMERON: Hi. I’m Cameron. I’m playing Karma the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Good job. Professional. Succinct.

CAMERON: Thanks. I memorized my script.

NICK: Yeah. It’s like a sentence, so…

CAMERON: Mm-hmm!

LAURA: It’s really not that hard.

CAMERON: No, it’s really not.

STEVEN: I’ve only given it 11 times. Okay?

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: It’s true.

NICK: Alright. Before we get started, let’s kick it off with the Destiny Roll.

STEVEN: Two light side.

CAMERON: One dark side.

HUDSON: One dark side.

LAURA: One dark side.

STEVEN: God damn it, guys.

NICK: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

CAMERON: Three dark side, two light side.

NICK: It’s better than last episode where I didn’t have toys to play with. This is much better. Alright. If you remember, last time we left off you went to a gaming den on the outside of the Ithorian herdship looking for Kettle, as she’s known in the underworld “the Queen,” who had won an important piece of equipment off of your contact and you needed to go get it back. You had challenged Kettle to a Sabacc tournament to try and get the Rancore Protocol back and you were successful, you even secured an IOU from the mobster, and we left off with her seeming not really that worried about it, almost like that’s what she had expected all along.

LAURA: I’m not worried.

CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine.

NICK: Yeah, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll probably forget. Right?

STEVEN: She’s a kind, benevolent queen.

NICK: Sure she is. Is there anything else you guys want to do in the casino? Do you want me to start you back in the bar, or on the street?

LAURA: Yes, please.

STEVEN: Bar sounds good.

CAMERON: Yeah. Let’s go back to the bar.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: No, so, Xianna definitely goes back over to the Twi’lek waitress and gives her her com number, and is like, I’m sure this will be totally fine. “That is my number. I do not know how long we will be here, but you know.”

NICK: I’m not sure what it looks like if you’re green and you blush, but that happens.

LAURA: I think Twi’leks bleed red?

CAMERON: Yeah, but if your skin’s green…

LAURA: It would be kind of like a rutty…

NICK: I guess her skin would just darken… Eh.

CAMERON: Karma blushes a darker green, so… as blood rushes to the skin.

LAURA: I think it would just be kind of like a rutty red.

NICK: Here’s a cool writing trick. The green Twi’lek waitress blushes and titters behind her hand, and does some lekku twitches that show that she’s pleased with that ,and tucks it inside. “Well thank you, and thank you for joining us at the gambling den.” She makes eye contact for just a second, and then someone calls for her by the bar and she hurries away to go continue her job.

You leave the gambling den, and the camera zooms in on a tray of drinks and into the top of the drink, and then zooms out from a circle of drinks at a round table as you all each grab a glass, and you are back in The Gooberfish. You’re in that round booth from before, so you’re all sitting, there’s one table. You all have Felton Mox crammed between you two on each side so he’s not going anywhere. The Ithorian bartender is off kind of in the corner bustling around with the glasses, and that’s where we’re gonna start.

STEVEN: I take my Imperial Stout and say, “Good job, guys. Thank you especially, Felton.”

NICK: “Yeah, uh…”

LAURA: “I mean, he did not do very much, so…”

NICK: “What? I, I am a valued member of this team at this point. I brought you to the contact. You were successful.”

STEVEN: “You are sitting with us.”

HUDSON: “Zero is a value, I guess.”

LAURA: “Very true.”

CAMERON: (laughing) The hood giggles.

NICK: “You know, I didn’t do a lot of math growing up, so I guess—I don’t know. That’s fine. So, you have your tools you need.” The camera zooms in on the data spike and the plasteel box that you have collected. The data spike for the Rancore Protocol is curved kind of like a talon and has some exposed circuit boards on the outside. It looks a little less finished than most that you are used to. The plasteel box is about six inches by six inches and it rattles ominously for a second before going still again.

LAURA: “So, does anybody have a plan?”

STEVEN: “Do you know how to use these devices, Felton?”

HUDSON: “I can use them.”

NICK: “Well…”

STEVEN: “Tink?”

HUDSON: “Why would he—Why would you want him to use them?”

STEVEN: “Oh. I don’t want him to use them. I’m curious if he knows how.”

LAURA: “I would assume Tink would know how to use a data spike.”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Do you know how this relates to shutting down the Imperial blockade?”

HUDSON: “Are you questioning my knowledge?”

LAURA: “Oh. We have to get onto one of the ships and then use the data spike. Right? That was said at some point”

HUDSON: “That’s correct.”

CAMERON: The hood nods.

LAURA: “Yes. So, all we have to do, just a little thing, get on an Imperial ship, and then put in the data spike, and then destroy the blockade.”

STEVEN: “That should be fine.”

LAURA: “Yeah. Uh-huh.”

NICK: Felton has really wide eyes, and he goes, “Well, uh, we’re not really sure what that data spike does, or at least I’m not. You probably are gonna wanna open that up. Since the big guy seems pretty confident in his skills he should probably work on that. Remember, the goal is to crash the flagship, break the blockade for the Ithorians, that little box there probably would be pretty useful in taking down a Star Destroyer. I wouldn’t open it though, yet, if I were you.”

LAURA: “What is in it?”

STEVEN: “Should we open it on the Star Destroyer?”

NICK: “Uh… Yeah. If you open it on the Star Destroyer it’ll probably do it. Let’s just say it’s a particularly unconventional weapon. That’s all Sentinel told me, but he did say don’t open it.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

HUDSON: “So it varies from normal convention?”

LAURA: “Well yes, that is what unconventional means.”

HUDSON: “I’m just making sure, man.”

NICK: “Yeah. You know, it’s an important point to clarify. I think you should ease up off my buddy here a little bit—“

HUDSON: “Yeah!”

NICK: “—you know, because us hairy folks gotta stick together. Am I right?”

HUDSON: “Yeah! People are questioning my knowledge. This guy gets it!”

LAURA: “No… No…”

NICK: He puts his arm up for a high five. You’re sitting on the outside of the table, so you’re gonna have to high five over Xianna.

HUDSON: I try and I miss.

NICK: Oh…

CAMERON: He’s still a little drunk.

HUDSON: I’m still a little drunk.

NICK: So, your hand hits the table, everyone’s drinks rattle, Sabos’s Imperial lager which is still pretty full goes over the side of the glass just a little and it leaves kind of sudsy, but your arms are long enough that you can reach Felton so he kind of like picks up your wrist and then high fives next to your hand so that the high five was completed.

HUDSON: “…Alright.”

LAURA: “So, anyways. We will have Tink look at the data spike, investigate that, figure out how it works. Any ideas how we get onto the Imperial ship?”

STEVEN: “We do have a code cylinder.”

CAMERON: Karma pulls out the code cylinder.

LAURA: “Oh yes, we have that.”

CAMERON: And then places it back in her jacket.

LAURA: “Big problem, none of us are human, and while you are, you know, you—“

NICK: “I knew it!”

CAMERON: (giggles)

LAURA: Xianna like holds up a finger at Felton Mox to shush him, “and you are you, but that is a special circumstance and we do not know how far we will get before they ask to see who exactly you are.”

HUDSON: “Shave me and I look enough like a human.”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, have you shaved yourself before?”

HUDSON: “There was this one time in college. It was kind of a bet. And, yeah, it’s happened.”

LAURA: “I mean, I have seen a hairless Wookie. They do not look like humans.”

HUDSON: “They look like a human with something messed up about them.”

LAURA: “No. They look like a hairless Wookie.”

HUDSON: “You’re only one part—What do y’all think?”

NICK: “I mean, my hairy buddy here isn’t a Wookie, so maybe he looks more human. You don’t know.”

HUDSON: “That’s right.”

STEVEN: “How about we make him look like a Wookie.”

LAURA: “Wait, wait, who here is a Wookie?”

NICK: “You said a hairless Wookie doesn’t look like a human, but he’s not a hairless Wookie, he’s a Gigoran. Right? Yeah. I’ve been there once. It’s real nice. There weren’t any Gigorans there, though. That was weird.”

HUDSON: “Ah. Yeah. You just got some bonus points there, Filmon.”

(snorts)

NICK: “Uh, Felton.”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

NICK: “Yeah. Yeah, so we’re, we’re pals—Hey. I gotta go to the bathroom, so if you guys could just let me scoot out of this booth for a second here, I’ll be right back.”

HUDSON: “Oh, no. I’ll join you. Social convention and all.”

LAURA: “Yes, Tink, you go with him.”

NICK: Okay. So there’s a way too long shot of you all like skootching out of the booth, and Xianna has to get out and wait…

LAURA: (sighs heavily)

NICK: …and Felton gets out and starts to head towards the back, and Tink goes with him?

HUDSON: Yup.

NICK: Okay. They go off camera-right into somewhere, and it’s the three of y’all sitting at the table.

LAURA: “Okie, so, how badly do you think Felton will react if he ever figures out who you are?”

CAMERON: “He was pretty drunk, so I don’t know if he’d 100% remember. He’d definitely recognize me, but it’s also at this point I’m wondering if I can just start talking but leave the hood on so that any cameras don’t see me… but the quietness is chafing.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “I’ve been working on my Imperial accent, but it’s not great.”

LAURA: “We should’ve picked a human.”

STEVEN: “As long as they don’t recognize me, Togrutas aren’t super threatening.”

LAURA: “No, but they do not look Imperial.”

CAMERON: “But you’re also an alien.”

STEVEN: “I could be a servant.”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “Well yeah, that’s how we got here—“

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

CAMERON: “—was that we’re ignoring the fact that I’m not human.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, oh yeah, right. I am the servant.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”

LAURA: “So, getting through the blockade is one thing. Getting onto an Imperial ship is a different thing, because then like, real people see us in person and see that we are not human.”

CAMERON: “So, well, this gets a little weird, but some of y’all do have Imperial bounties on you. I could turn you in, we get the money for the bounty, and then you’re on the Star Destroyer, we’re there, we wreck whatever havoc we need to, and then hopefully we leave.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “That sounds alright. I’m just not sure if my bounty is important enough to them to actually seem not sketch.”

LAURA: “Well, we could always wreck up the place down here a bit.”

STEVEN: “We… could. Somewhere the Imperials are watching?”

LAURA: “Yes.” (laughs)

NICK: The Ithorian bartender kind of leans around the bar and goes, “I… would like… to disagree.”

LAURA: “No, no, not this place specifically, this bar, I mean like an Imperial station or something.”

NICK: “With that plan…”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

NICK: The Ithorian bartender is like paused with a finger up… and then goes back to wiping down the bar.

LAURA: “Yes. So, if we could find some sort of Imperial outpost or galactic run company front, or something like that.”

CAMERON: “The way that this would need to work if it is me turning y’all in, I would need to drop you off and I would need to leave, and y’all would need to get another ship to get off.”

NICK: Smash cut to Tink and his buddy Felton in the bathroom at two urinals. Tinkly water noises.

LAURA: Psss… (hissing)

NICK: Oh, no, that’s like a sibilant noise. We don’t want that one. Have you been in a men’s bathroom? It doesn’t sound like that at all.

LAURA: Well, I can’t make the tinkle sounds of hitting the porcelain!

HUDSON: Blorb blorb blorb blorb blorb.

STEVEN: Just imagine asparagus.

HUDSON: Ew.

NICK: Ugh.

LAURA: That’s not a sound!

NICK: You’re gross!

STEVEN: I use too many bathrooms at work.

NICK: Sounds like asparagus. (others giggle)

The camera is on their backs, and you see Felton’s head turn towards Tink. “You know, sometimes they call me the Rancore of Coronet,” and he’s like looking pretty proud of himself.

HUDSON: “Are you coming on to me?”

NICK: “Uh… I—No? May—“

HUDSON: “Good.”

NICK: “Okay. Yeah, I wouldn’t, come on, no. we’re, I hope—It’s platonic!” And he turns around real quick. We cut back to the table.

HUDSON: So awkward. (laughter)

CAMERON: It’s so awkward.

LAURA: “So, yes, we will throw some like grenades at some—“

STEVEN: “I could be your bounty.”

CAMERON: “No no no.”

LAURA: “No, not my bounty. I’m not bringing them in. I have a bounty out for me. It was more than yours.”

STEVEN: “Aren’t you the bounty–?”

CAMERON: “I am a bounty hunter, under the cloak here.”

STEVEN: “Oh okay, yeah.”

LAURA: “Karma is the bounty hunter.”

STEVEN: “Yeah, that’s right…”

CAMERON: “Y’all are the ones with bounties.”

STEVEN: “Yeah. I’m trying to find a reason…”

LAURA: “Yes. Well, Tink doesn’t really have one—“

CAMERON: “No. Tink was clean.”

LAURA: “—but I’m pretty sure if you just bring a Gigoran in they will assume he did something.”

CAMERON: “Well, it’s also how we want to work it. Do we want to split and have Tink be somewhere separate where he can hack into things if necessary, or do we want him on the ship?”

LAURA: “You know, he is surprisingly sneaky for his size. He could be on the ship and then sneak off while you are bringing us in. we will just make some sort of loud commotion as you are bringing us in so that they do not look as closely to the ship as they should. He sneaks off and he hides in there, and then we meet up later?”

NICK: Smash cut to the bathroom! They’re still standing at the urinals. Felton says, “You know, I’ve always kind of had a thing for tentacles.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Yeah. I know a fellow with head tails. Is that what you mean?”

NICK: “Uh… You know, my friends always said never date a Togruta. I’ve made that mistake before.”

HUDSON: “Oh, and you’re not willing to make it again, are ya?”

NICK: “I mean, what’s a mistake but another of life’s little lessons, right?” And we snap back to the table.

(laughter)

LAURA: I want Tink to set Sabos up on a date!

STEVEN: And I hope Felton is—He’s like, he’s been done peeing, but Tink obviously isn’t, so he’s just standing there still, just pretending.

LAURA: Just like a race horse, just goes forever.

CAMERON: He had a very large drink at the gaming den.

NICK: Okay, yeah. That’s canon.

STEVEN: He’s bigger, clearly.

CAMERON: Tink has a very large bladder.

LAURA: Yes. He’s giant.

STEVEN: Yeah. “So, I need to be on the ship, or I go out with you as your servant still?”

LAURA: “No. So, you have a bounty.”

STEVEN: “I do.”

LAURA: “I have a bounty, so we have to be seen, and we should probably do something here to make it a little bit more pressing, so we should like be seen doing something to a building, or Imperials, or stormtroopers, something of that nature, so that when Karma brings us in they are a little bit more excited about it.”

CAMERON: “Just so that there’s a reason that I’m disturbing the blockade.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “Will they not be suspicious that Karma’s servant now suddenly has a bounty?”

CAMERON: “No.”

LAURA: “No, no, she will take off the robe, the cape, situation.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I would become myself again.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see. I understand now.”

LAURA: Because she is a known bounty hunter, so they will not be suspicious if she, as Karma, brings us in.”

STEVEN: “Will they let her as Karma back through the blockade on the way out?”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “They probably will not let me leave, but I should at least be able to get to the ship and drop y’all off.”

STEVEN: “Yes, that’s true.”

LAURA: “And then Tink can hide in the ship, and when we make some sort of commotion he gets off the ship and hides, and then we will just somehow try to meet up later, get out of the prison, or you know Tink come gets us.”

NICK: So, one thing I do want to call out, if you “turn in a bounty,” if you want to preserve your relationship with the Empire, you would want to be careful that they don’t see you for what you’re doing, which is like letting people loose on their ship for hijinks.

CAMERON: Yeah. That’s why I was saying that I would need to leave once I dropped them off, and like once the dealings were done and I found out if there were any other people I could go after on the planet, because obviously I’m not gonna try and leave because of the blockade, and I respect the Imperials, so it’s just if there’s anyone else down there they want me to get while I’m stuck here.

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: “Also, you can tell them that you have another bounty. Does Felton have a bounty?”

CAMERON: “One sec. I know he does on Coronet. I don’t know if he does within the system, though.” I get out my data pad and look up Felton Mox.

LAURA: “We could always bring Felton with us when we go… I don’t know, throw grenades at the place? We’ll figure that part out.”

NICK: Smash cut to the bathroom. It is very clear that Felton has been done peeing for a while but he’s still standing there staring at the wall, and his head tilts over towards Tink again who is still going. “So, uh, what’s your deal?”

HUDSON: (laughs) “So… Tink made a tinkle.”

(laughter)

NICK: “Ha ha ha…”

LAURA: Oh, you are too drunk.

NICK: Felton stops for a second. “Uh… Yeah. Yeah, you did,” and then snap back to the table.

LAURA: “What we could do is you drop Sabos and I off and then you say that you have another bounty back on the planet that you will have to bring up later, and that way you can come back for us.”

CAMERON: “That’s true. I could do that.”

LAURA: “And we will just have to be very careful to sneak onto the ship so that they do not ever know we are together, because I think you want to still stay a respectable-ish bounty hunter?”

CAMERON: “Everyone’s life is a lot easier if one of us on the crew is not wanted.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “You could just say you caught me gambling, because I think it’s clear that my bounty is a money problem. Right?”

LAURA: “I do not think that gambling is illegal. Is it?”

STEVEN: “Well, I have a bounty, though.”

LAURA: “I mean, in some places it is.”

STEVEN: “I do have a money problem bounty.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, I mean, I could definitely pick you up in the gambling den, but that wouldn’t be why I was turning you in. It would just be, that might be where I saw you, to make them think that you were gambling away all of the money that you stole from them.”

STEVEN: “Exactly. I feel like they would take me for that.”

CAMERON: “Well, I mean, they’re gonna take you anyway. There’s a bounty out on you.”

STEVEN: “It’s a little bounty.”

CAMERON: “I know, but they’re still gonna pay me and take you.”

STEVEN: “True.”

LAURA: “But again, that is why we are going to go be seen publicly doing something illegal so that when she brings us to the ship it is a little bit more impactful, because we would have just done something.”

STEVEN: “I’m just worried about my diplomatic status.”

LAURA: “That is not a thing at this point. That is gone. It is no more.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I am an Osaronian diplomat.”

LAURA: “No…”

CAMERON: “Yes, so we’re not arguing with that. What Xianna is saying is that you already kriffed up your relationship with the Empire.”

STEVEN: “Oh, they don’t know me.”

CAMERON: “Uh, yeah they do. They have a BOUNTY out on you, Sabos.”

LAURA: “You have a 2,000 credit bounty.”

STEVEN: “Just a little bounty.”

CAMERON: “Yes. That still means they know about you.”

STEVEN: “I play both sides. You know, I know some of the Empire, I make deals with the others, some try to catch me.”

LAURA: “Okie. So, as someone who often plays both sides, the problem is eventually—“

NICK: Heh.

(laughter)

LAURA: “Eventually both sides figure out what is going on, and sometimes those both sides get together to come after you as a group, and that is worse.”

NICK: We cut to a well-furnished dark wood office overlooking a jungle, and we see a tan man with little horns wearing an Imperial uniform holding a martini glass staring out the window. Falx goes, “Wow. I feel like someone was just talking about me.” And we cut back to the table.

LAURA: “So, if you have an Imperial warrant for your arrest for 2,000 credits, the Empire knows because they issued the warrant. Do you understand how warrants work?”

CAMERON: “And did you notice that eventually Falx did look y’all up. That’s something that they do. They do run your credentials.”

STEVEN: “Eh…”

LAURA: “I am not surprised about that. I am a career criminal. That is how that works. That’s why I use fake names. You keep using the same two names.”

STEVEN: “Normally Osaron is just too far and remote for them to come and worry about.”

LAURA: “And that is fine…”

CAMERON: “And see, that works great as long as you’re not interacting with Imperials, but you’re going to be.”

LAURA: “…but you are interacting, and you have an Imperial warrant.”

STEVEN: “Oh… That’s fine. I think I can pay it off.”

NICK: Smash cut, back to the bathroom. There’s no longer any urinating noises. They’re both still standing at the urinal. Felton turns to Tink. “We’ve been in here a really long time.”

HUDSON: “Uh, I don’t even know what time is anymore. I can’t figure out how long I’ve been in here. You’ll have to help me with that.”

NICK: “Right. I think it’s probably time to go back to the table. If you go first I’ll make sure I wash hands for the both of us.”

HUDSON: “I’m supposed to be watching you because you’re my friend, so I think that we should wash our hands and I’ll follow behind you.”

NICK: “Alright. Let’s get those hands washed, big guy.” And they go over to the sink. Cut back to the table.

LAURA: “So again, I feel like we have this plan already planned out pretty well.”

STEVEN: “Sounds good.”

LAURA: “Okie. Do you understand?”

STEVEN: “I think so.”

LAURA: “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Okie.”

STEVEN: “Oh yes.”

LAURA: “So, I guess we should find some sort of Imperial galactic place that we can be seen, like, graffiti-ing, or throwing a grenade at, or… Do we have like real bombs?”

NICK: On that note, Felton and Tink walk back to the table. There’s an awkward silence as Xianna skootches out and Felton skootches in.

HUDSON: “Me and Femur are back from the whiz palace, all.”

LAURA: “Anyways. So Felton, do you have like any bombs on you? Or not necessarily on you, but like at your place, or one we could borrow?”

NICK: (Felton sighs)

STEVEN: “Well…”

LAURA: “I guess one we could just use.”

STEVEN: “We might not return it.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “We will not return it.”

NICK: “Yeah, no. I gave you two of the strongest weapons in the galaxy just now, so.”

LAURA: “No, we need like a little bomb.”

NICK: “Mmm… no, but I know someone who might be able to help.” We can swipe cut, and what I want to do is a montage of Sabos and Xianna doing public disturbance type stuff for the camera. So, think of your first thing that you do.

STEVEN: Where are we at?

NICK: You’re on the herdship.

STEVEN: No, I get that, but what do we see around us?

LAURA: Like, are there stormtroopers? Is there like…

STEVEN: Statues that are important to the Imperials?

LAURA: Yeah, anything important to the Empire?

CAMERON: Trying to mess stuff up for the Empire, not necessarily the people who live here.

LAURA: Is there a statue of Sheev?

NICK: So, the problem is Ithor has been fairly neutral, and you guys may remember the first Imperial to set foot on the planet since the blockade was Karma, apparently, so there isn’t a lot of stuff. There’s a few things. There is an Imperial archive that has been there, because they place those all over the place, so it’s like a library with a lot of military records, but they’re like propaganda records so they’re not that helpful. There are some communication nodes that go back and forth into space. They’ve been silent lately but they are monitored. Your best bet you realize would probably be to take out infrastructure stuff, because the Imperials want these things functioning so they can use them. If you take down like public transit or electro-grids or anything like that, that’s something that they’re going to notice, but because there’s no Imperial presence the more stuff you do the Ithorians may complain. It may go into your reputation a little bit, but they’re kind of incommunicado, so it’ll really just help you get off planet and to the ship faster, it’s not gonna make you higher profile, and the more you do the more you’ve messed up this neutral city.

CAMERON: So, before we start selecting the targets, Karma wants to go talk to the Oracle again and just explain we’re trying to break the blockade, which we had talked about beforehand when we met them before.

NICK: Let’s just do that scene.

LAURA: Yeah. Let’s say that Sabos and Karma go there, and then Xianna and Tink take Felton and—

CAMERON: And babysit Felton?

LAURA: –and go get a bomb.

NICK: Okay. We need to do those two scenes. So, we’ll start with, we swipe to Sabos and Karma standing in front of the Oracle who is sitting cross-legged. “You have returned… quickly.”

CAMERON: “Yes. We are putting a plan in place to break the blockade, and wanted to run a few things by you and get some advice.”

NICK: “I exist… for advice…”

STEVEN: “That’s true.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful.” Karma’s never quite sure where the sentence finishes, so she waits a little bit longer than—It becomes slightly socially awkward to make sure that the Oracle’s done talking.

NICK: The Oracle looks extremely placid and calm, and doesn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable you are with conversing with him.

CAMERON: “So, the current plan is to try and cause some problems on the herdship that hopefully do not inconvenience your people in a particularly large way but would cause the interest of the Empire so that the ones responsible could be taken to them to reach the ships. So, I would like to request assistance in selecting these targets to where hopefully the end result of this is that the blockade is no more and you can resume life normally, but not have the small amounts of destruction impede that normal life.”

NICK: “The wisdom… of the Mother Jungle… states… that to preserve the trees, sometimes you must prune branches. You… will not… be prosecuted… for any mischief. What… targets are you looking… to attack?”

CAMERON: (giggles) “Things we had discussed were potentially communication nodes that the Empire might be utilizing, the Imperial archives, but also potentially some infrastructure as they want Ithor to continue its current production of everything, so some infrastructure things there. I’m more requesting assistance in selecting infrastructure targets that do not impede your people but might seem like large enough disturbances to warrant the Empire’s attention.”

NICK: The Oracle’s eyes get real wide, and they say, “Whatever… you choose… do not destroy the repulsor pylons. The city will fall out of the sky.”

CAMERON: “Oh, of course. Yes. Not the pylons ,no. more like transportation and those types of things. On top of the herdship, not the inner workings of the herdship at all.”

NICK: “Good. We have a small but respectable metro system… It’s like a monorail, but it’s Star Wars.”

CAMERON: “Oh, cool.”

NICK: “And we don’t use it much, because our population… is shrunken. Knock yourselves out.”

CAMERON: “Wonderful. We’ll make sure the area is clear of any citizens before knocking ourselves out.”

NICK: It’s eyes widen again, and says, “I had assumed… that was a given.”

CAMERON: “Yes. I was just stating it to be clear.”

NICK: “Thank you. We will allow you… to handle the details. What else did you need?”

CAMERON: “Did we need anything else?”

STEVEN: “I think that’s all, your Oracle-ness.”

CAMERON: “I think that is it.”

NICK: It smiles at you like it likes that title. “Well, thank you.” It turns around and it is clearly dismissing you.

STEVEN: “Good bye.”

CAMERON: We leave.

NICK: Swipe cut to… Tink and Xianna and Felton are doing a deal to get a bomb.

LAURA: I’m picturing that we’re like in some back shop that just has like electronics, and we’re doing the whole like, ‘so we need, you know, some special equipment.’ We’re doing one of those things where Felton is asking somewhat code, and we’re just like ‘mm-hmm.’

NICK: From the camera angle, it’s like a dark shop, it’s got a glass case, there’s some random assorted electronics. There’s a Devaronian shopkeeper, which is like a sort of devil-looking guy if you’ve listened to any of the episodes—

CAMERON: A ‘dee-vil.’

LAURA: A ‘dee-vil!’

NICK: Oh man.

LAURA: Hudson, say it.

HUDSON: ‘Dee-vil!’

(laughter)

NICK: Okay. There’s a Devaronian behind the counter, and he’s like, “So, I’m not sure I quite understand. What exactly are you looking for?”

LAURA: Xianna leans in real close, and I imagine this is after a few minutes of subtle little things, like “you know, some equipment,” and she leans in and she goes, “we need, um, how do you say, a bomb.”

NICK: He’s also leaned in, and he goes, “Oh, a bomb. All this weird double speak, I thought you were looking for like drugs or something.”

LAURA: “You have drugs?”

NICK: “Uh, well, that kinda depends.” You can see there’s a little curtain, and on the other side of the building there’s a normal large shop that seems to be selling a lot of gardening implements and stuff like that.

An Ithorian pokes its head through the curtain and says, “What is the problem?”

And the Davronian goes, “Hey, don’t worry about it, just doing some deals back here. You know, I’m here to sell the over inventory. That’s why I’m here. Don’t worry about it one thing. Why don’t you just go back to the main part of the shop?”

“Okay…” And they go away.

“Oh yeah. We got lots of drugs.”

LAURA: “Do you have impact?”

NICK: “Oh yeah, we got impact.” He hits the counter and the top pops open, and you see that it’s like a mirror case, and inside there’s just a nice container shadow box with a lot of different compartments, and he pulls out a surprisingly large baggy of impact.

LAURA: “How much?”

NICK: “Uh, probably only charge you about 20% over the going rate.”

LAURA: (pauses)

NICK: “We’re under a blockade.”

LAURA: Yeah. How many doses of impact do you think is in the bag?

NICK: Like, ten.

LAURA: So…

NICK: Okay. Here’s what I want to happen story-wise, Laura. I want you to have to choose between getting a shit-ton of impact and being able to buy the bomb.

LAURA: So, Xianna’s like, “How much is the bomb?”

NICK: “About 1,200 credits.”

HUDSON: “I think we may have that.”

LAURA: “No, so, do You have 1,200 credits?”

HUDSON: Uh… I thought we had 1,200 credits.

LAURA: I have 1,500.

HUDSON: Oh, that’s not group money.

LAURA: No, I personally have 1,504 credits. What do you personally have?

HUDSON: 270.

LAURA: Okay…

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s like doing the math in her head. She’s like, ‘oh shit, no.’ (sighs) “Okie, fine. We will buy the bomb.”

NICK: “man, you’re really missing out. You know, this impact, it’s like top notch stuff.”

HUDSON: “We’ll take the bomb!”

LAURA: “I mean, could you sell me like, a smaller amount than the giant bag?”

NICK: “Well… no.”

LAURA: (sighs)

NICK: “I would hate to break up such a big collection, you know. The dealers really prefer this amount. If I break it up even less than that then I won’t be able to get all my money back.”

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s how that works.

NICK: Shut up.

(laughter)

LAURA: ‘Hate to break up the collection!’

HUDSON: That’s how drug dealers talk.

NICK: “No, it’s like this is our gross. If you start selling less than this then people won’t be able to smuggle it.”

STEVEN: Oh, I’d hate to break up the distribution size to people that buy it to make money on the distribution—(laughter) Sounds fine, though. It’s all good.

NICK: “No, because plot points!”

LAURA: “Fine. We will take the bomb.”

HUDSON: “Thank you, Xianna.” I’m very sober by this point.

NICK: Okay. He routes around and he pulls out what looks like two thermal detonators stuck together with a toilet paper tube.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: It’s got like extra wires and things, and he sets it on the counter and nudges it so that it rolls, and that seems real sketch.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna takes it and then holds it for a second, and as she’s putting it in her pocket goes, “Oh, and do you have cans of spray paint?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah.” And we’ll cut from there to the next scene.

LAURA: So, the bomb was 1,200?

NICK: Yeah. Expensive bomb. But now you have a large story bomb that does story bomb things.

LAURA: Yay, story bombs. Booomb~

NICK: So, you all wanna do your sabotage montage?

LAURA: Yes. The first one we’re gonna do is we walk to the archives. Xianna has Sabos walk to the Imperial building, and she throws him a can of spray paint and goes, “Okie. Tag the front of the building, Free Ithor.”

STEVEN: “In Basic?”

LAURA: “In whatever language you want, but probably Basic so that the Imperials read that it says Free Ithor.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see.”

LAURA: “So, tag that building.”

STEVEN: I tag the building that says the Imperial Archive that says Free Ithor, in Basic. I also draw a figure with four head tails.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: It’s your signature.

LAURA: As he’s doing that, Xianna’s just kind of watching, and once he finishes up walks into the building—

STEVEN: Oh, and I use my head tails to rub some of the paint artistically.

NICK: Egh.

LAURA: No…

CAMERON: Oh god.

NICK: So, how I picture this, Sabos wasn’t around for parts of the plan so you just hand him the spray paint and say just tag Free Ithor on it, and he goes up and tags it, and as he’s rubbing his head tails into it and really getting into it you can see he’s starting to like… He started with just a tag, and then he’s going back and starting to like, perfectionist stuff. Karma, how do you arrest him while he’s doing this?”

CAMERON: Alright. We’re kind of all standing in the shadows to the side. I turn to Felton, “Don’t freak out,” and I drop my cloak.

NICK: He looks at you and goes, “Oh, that actually explains a lot. Man, that Togruta is gonna really be surprised when he finds out that he’s been hanging out with a bounty hunter this whole time.”

CAMERON: “…Yup.” (laughs) “Surprise.”

LAURA: Surprise~

CAMERON: I swing my carbine around to my front and just stalk out into the street, and I think I’m gonna shoot him. I’m gonna stun him.

NICK: Okay… So, Sabos—

CAMERON: It’s gotta be convincing, okay?

STEVEN: (sighs)

CAMERON: I didn’t tell you I was gonna stun you, though. You knew you were gonna get arrested, but you didn’t know I was gonna shoot you.

STEVEN: I did.

NICK: So, Sabos, you turn around and you’re like, ‘Hey, is this re—‘ (whooshing shooting noise) and you just get dropped. Then we swipe cut to a monorail station, but it’s a real small station with a really big track, and a train has just gone by with two Ithorians on it. It’s like a six car train, but not very many people are using it. Xianna, what do you do?

LAURA: So there are people on the train?

NICK: They’re on the train but they just went by, so if you destroy the tracks it’s not gonna drop them.

LAURA: Okay. So, Xianna also takes out a can of spray paint and tags the building again with Free Ithor, and then sets the bomb and runs off, but she makes sure that she looks into the cameras and probably does a little kiss and wave at whichever one she sees as she’s tagging the place, and then just like sets the timer, tosses the bomb behind her, and runs out.

NICK: Karma, how do you arrest her before she makes her escape?

LAURA: Oh, we definitely timed it. I was like, I will run out of this building, and you tackle me.

CAMERON: Yeah. I was carrying Sabos around, because I literally just arrested him, and just—

NICK: You can have like a wheelbarrow that you’ve been carting him in.

CAMERON: Yeah. I just had a wagon. I was pulling a wagon behind me, and I had Sabos in the wagon. He’s in binders at this point. I just see the explosion start as Xianna runs out of the building, and just run and flying tackle from the side… but it’s all done very artfully so that we both land on the side so that we don’t hurt each other.

LAURA: We rehearsed it.

CAMERON: Yeah. We practiced a lot.

LAURA: It’s very WWE.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: So, we get two different camera shots. The first one is a close up kind of grainy security cam film of Xianna in profile spray painting and she does her smooch and wave and winks at the camera, and turns, and then becomes all business and runs out. Then we get a pan of the wide street of another security camera that’s kind of gritty, and she takes like three steps, and then we just see Karma go (three impact noises) and just nail her, and they go flying off screen again.

So, from there, we cut to you all in space. Is Tink on the ship as well? I would imagine so.

LAURA, CAMERON, & HUDSON: Yeah.

NICK: So, you’re on the Afternoon Delight—

CAMERON: Can we take a different ship up?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: I’d like to not take our ship.

LAURA: Just like rent a ship.

CAMERON: Yeah. I just want a rental, because obviously I’m not in my bounty hunting ship, and I’ve been here a while. I didn’t come in on the Imperial shuttle. ‘I’ve been here.’ So, I just rent a ship.

NICK: Okay. We’ll get you the Star Wars equivalent of a daycare van.

CAMERON: Awesome, great.

NICK: It’s a very blocky ship with just like a single view port, nothing fancy, seats like six people, and that’s it. It’s for short hops.

CAMERON: It has a cargo compartment though, so that Tink can hide in the cargo compartment.

NICK: Yes. There’s a compartment under the floor of the ship that a Gigoran laying prone could fit in. we get a shot from behind the ship as it’s on an approach vector to the Star Destroyer. You get a ping on the com, and you hear, “Unidentified vessel, why are you approaching the ISD Vengeance?”

CAMERON: “Yes. This is bounty hunter—“ insert Karma’s bounty hunter ID.

NICK: Whoop! We get the close-in of a slide in card, and the three yellow lights that go across over and over again, because 70’s Star Wars thing. “We have your identification. Why are you approaching the Vengeance?”

CAMERON: “I have two bounties to turn in to Imperial control.”

NICK: “We don’t normally accept bounties on blockade. Why should we let you onto the ship?”

CAMERON: “Well, there’s no holding pattern on the ground, and they’ve been causing some mayhem aboard the herdship. There was a transportation center blown up, and tagging, causing some unrest across the populous, and I figured you’d like them off planet. You are my only option to turn them in at this point.”

NICK: “Oh yes, because you’re not getting out of here, especially not in that.”

CAMERON: “Well, obviously. (laughs)”

NICK: “Roger that, Ithorian sip, uh, Harmless.” (snickering) “You can approach to the third landing bay. Have your prisoners restrained and we will process bounties accordingly.”

CAMERON: “Thank you. Proceeding to the landing bay.”

NICK: Beep-boop. And then we get the shot of the ship going in, and it’s like the cool Star Wars models so it looks nice, and then it lands. How do you all look coming off of the ship? Are they beat up? Are they bindered?

CAMERON: Yes, bindered.

LAURA: Yes.

CAMERON: Sabos is looking a little worse for wear, because I shot him…

STEVEN: Do I come in on a wheelbarrow?

CAMERON: No. it’s been long enough by the time—My stun probably didn’t 100% knock you out, it just, yeah.

LAURA: Stun just works how you need it to work in Star Wars.

CAMERON: Yeah. It just, it got you pretty good, and I was able to get the handcuffs on you while you were unaware. So, you look a little frazzled, probably.

STEVEN: I look frazzled.

NICK: Does Sabos have like, a head tail askew, like bad hair? Is he that frazzled?

LAURA & CAMERON: I don’t think that’s how that works.

LAURA: That’s like a nose. I think it’d be broken.

NICK: Oh no.

CAMERON: Yeah, no. he’s fine. He looks a little roughed up. He’s—What color spray paint were you using?

STEVEN: Uh, we’ll go with black.

CAMERON: So, he’s got the tip of his head tails kind of covered in black, and it’s kind of a nice ombre up his head tails with the black.

NICK: Nice work.

CAMERON: Yeah, well he was doing gradient for his graffiti painting, so it kind of did that naturally, but his hands are kind of covered in paint.

STEVEN: See, it couldn’t be red, because it would just blend in with me.

NICK: I was picturing mustard yellow for the graffiti. I don’t know why.

STEVEN: I figure the Imperial archive is a nice, uh…

CAMERON: Clean gray building.

STEVEN: Yeah.

NICK: It’s always gray.

CAMERON: It’s a nice solid black, looks nice.

STEVEN: Exactly. Nice clean gray, so black is definitely noticeable.

NICK: Yeah, it’ll be a pain to clean, and they can never match it when they try to paint over it, so then it looks really obvious. Xianna?

CAMERON: You probably have some soot on you from the explosion.

LAURA: Yeah. I probably added extra soot, and I definitely made sure to hide everything in my deepest pockets. I probably left a can of spray paint in one of the easy to find pockets, so if they search me they feel like they found something, and then I took my scanner goggles off and put it in the deep pockets with my other stuff.

CAMERON: Well, anything you don’t want them to have Karma can keep, too, if you don’t want them to confiscate it. Like, your rifle and stuff, I won’t turn you in with a rifle

STEVEN: That would be a good idea.

LAURA: So, I most likely gave you things like my binders, my surveillance tagger, the IOU from Kettle, but I probably kept my blaster and my little snuff box, because I just put them in my deep pockets because they’re decently hard to check, but I did leave a can of spray paint and some little things for them to find and they feel like they did something when they search me.

STEVEN: I’ll have nothing but a com link in my padded armor.

CAMERON: Your com link’s probably in your… however you have ears.

STEVEN: Yeah.

NICK: So, you’re frog marched out by Karma. There’s two stormtroopers next to a low ranking Imperial officer. He looks like the deck commander. He says, “Well, are these our ne’er-do-wells?” and he looks pretty proud of himself. He’s got like a little squeebly mustache.

STEVEN: “I think I did pretty well.”

CAMERON: “Indeed, officer, they are.”

NICK: “Well, if the records of the scans are to be approved, I don’t know why you look so proud of yourself, Togruta. All you did was spray paint some things.”

LAURA: “I mean, that is actually quite a bit for him.”

CAMERON: “They apparently know each other.”

NICK: “Huh, interesting.”

STEVEN: “Oh, we know each other pretty well.”

LAURA: “No…”

STEVEN: I say implicatively.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: “Well, we’ll be taking over custody now. After the bounty has been turned in and approved you can expect your payment in six to eight weeks.”

LAURA: “I mean, so who approved your mustache?”

NICK: “I’m an Imperial. We can have mustaches.”

LAURA: “You really shouldn’t, though.”

NICK & STEVEN: Ohhh.

NICK: He motions to a stormtrooper and they punch you in the stomach with the butt of their rifle.

LAURA: “Ow!”

NICK: It hurts.

CAMERON: I swap out my binders with the binders that the stormtroopers have.

NICK: Yeah. It’s all very professional, just click-click, snap-snap.

CAMERON: Yup. Remove mine, put them back up on my head tails.

NICK: The deck commander looks kind of smug and leans over. “Not so smug now, are you? Search the prisoners!” And the stormtroopers come up and start to pat you down. What does your smuggling coat do?

LAURA: It’s an opposed Skulduggery.

NICK: Oh shit. So they’ll have two green… Does the coat make it an opposed Skulduggery, or give you a bonus to it?

LAURA: No, it is an opposed Skulduggery to search.

NICK: Oh. Yeah, they only have two greens. Well, we’ll make it a green and a red. This guy’s been trained. He’s a marine.

LAURA: I want to flip a light side point. I really don’t want them to find my stuff.

NICK: Well, so it’s opposed… Yeah, you can roll a purple and a red on yours, so that we’re building a smaller pool.

LAURA: Six successes, but two threats. And remember, they will find the spray paint.

NICK: Yeah, so they find the spray paint. The stormtrooper pulls it out and says, (muffled) “All she has is this, sir.”

LAURA: “Hey, I want that back. That is mine.”

NICK: “You can have that back… in jail! Ha ha ha.”

LAURA: “Oh, so you will actually give it to me once I am in my cell?”

NICK: The deck commander just slowly shakes his head and says, “Take them to the holding cell.” They pat down Sabos and pull off his com. They leave your armor on, they don’t care. They start to march you away, and the last shot we have is Karma standing at the thing… You’re gonna leave, right?

CAMERON: Yes, after Tink gets off the ship.

NICK: Right. Karma is standing at the foot of the on-ramp, and Tink lifts up the roof of his smuggling compartment and sticks his head out, and says…

HUDSON: “Am I good to go?”

CAMERON: (quietly) “Yeah, I thought you left already.”

HUDSON: “Oh—“ I run out.

(laughter)

NICK: And that’s where we’ll end the episode!

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

The crew spends a lot of time during episodes 23 and 24 having breakfast. One of said breakfast items was scones. Some were certainly regular cream scones served with butter and jam, but some were probably heartier, like these Oatmeal Rum-Raisin Scones.

The scones piled on a plate. Pancakes, maple syrup, and sausages are out of focus in the background.
Breakfast is ready!

These scones are made with a mix of all-purpose flour, whole wheat flower, and oats. This creates a wonderful hearty flavor and a chewy texture. Brown sugar adds sweetness, and cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves add a warm spice. Orange zest brings a hint of freshness and prevents these from tasting flat.

All the ingredients measured out into small bowls.
The ingredients

The real secret in letting the raisins soak in spiced rum. This plums them up and adds some extra flavor.

If you don’t wish to or cannot use rum, apple juice or cider would work as well.

These will sit for an hour and get nice and plump.

Rum poured into the bowl of raisins.
Rum-Raisins in the making.

When the raisins are almost done soaking you’ll combine all the dry ingredients in a large bowl and give them a good mix.

All the dry ingredients combined in a large mixing bowl.
The dry ingredients.

Then you’ll add the cubed butter. You’ll want the butter to stay as cold as possible for the best texture. If the butter gets too warm into melt into the flour and create a doughy texture instead of light and crumbly.

Cubed butter adding to the mixing bowl of dry ingredients.
Add the butter.

You’ll “cut” the butter into the flour mixture by cutting it up into small pieces. You can do this with a pastry cutter, a handle with thin wires or cutters, or you can use two butter knives and slice at the pieces of butter.

The final butter pieces should be very fine and blended into the mixture.

Then you’ll add the buttermilk and stir just until the dough begins to form. Drain the raisins, you can use the leftover rum for whatever you’d like, and add to the dough. Continue stirring until the dough is mostly combined.

Raisins added to the dough.
Raisins added.

Next, you’ll pour out the dough on a flat surface, with some extra flour to prevent sticking, and knead until the dough is fully mixed and cohesive.

Dough turned out onto a surface for kneading.
Time to knead!

Form it into a flattened disk about 2 inches tall.

The dough formed into a flat round.
The final dough.

Cut the dough into 8 equal pieces.

The dough divided into 8 triangular pieces.
Divided up.

Place the scones on a lined baking sheet and put them in the 400 degree F oven for 15-20 minutes.

The scones on a baking sheet.
Baking time.

While the scones are baking you’ll make the cinnamon-maple glaze. It’s quite simple. Powdered sugar, cinnamon, maple syrup, and salt, with a little bit of water to smooth it out.

Glaze ingredients in a bowl.
Glaze ingredients.

Add the water a teaspoon or two at a time until the glaze is thick, but pourable. It should pool up when drizzled back into the bowl, but after a second or two melt back in with the rest of the glaze.

The mixed glaze with a spoon drizzling some back into the bowl.
The mixed glaze.

The scones should be a wonderful golden color when they are done baking.

The baked scones on the baking tray.
The baked scones.

Wait 10 minutes before glazing. This lets them cool down enough that the glaze won’t completely melt away, but lets them be just warm enough for the glaze to fully stick.

An R2-D2 kitchen timer set to 10 minutes.
Other kitchen timers will do.

Drizzle the glaze on in thick stripes or zig-zags. I used a butter knife, but you could also use a spoon or even a piping bag.

The scones on the baking tray with the glazed drizzled on.
That good, good drizzle.

Oatmeal Raisin Scones [makes 8 scones]

1/2 cup (90g) raisins
Spiced rum (or apple juice/cider)
1 1/2 cups (192g) all purpose flour
1/2 cup (64g) whole wheat flour
1 cup  (100g) oats
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 cup (100g) brown sugar
Zest of 1 orange
1/2 cup cold butter, cubed
3/4 cup (180g) buttermilk

Place the raisins in a small bowl and fill with enough rum to just cover them. Cover and let sit for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a large bowl combine the all purpose flour, the whole wheat flour, the oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, brown sugar, and orange zest. Mix well.

Add the cubed butter to the bowl. Using a pastry blender or two butter knives, cut the butter into the flour mixture until the butter is evenly distributed.

Add the buttermilk and roughly mix until just beginning to combine. Drain the raisins and add them to the bowl. Stir until mostly mixed. Place dough on a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and cohesive.

Form the dough into a flattened circle about 2 inches tall. Cut into 8 equal pieces. Place the scones on a lined baking sheet.

Bake for 15-20 minutes.

Let cool for 10 minutes before glazing; recipe below.

Cinnamon Maple Glaze

1 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoon maple syrup
A pinch of salt
1-2 tablespoon water

Mix together the powdered sugar, cinnamon, maple syrup, and salt in a bowl. Slowly add water, a teaspoon at a time, until the glaze is smooth and pourable, but still thick.

A plate of scones sitting on a fabric napkin. One scone is off the plate sitting on the napkin.
Time to wrangle up for nerfs!

Word document download: Episode 10 Sabacc in Business

PDF download: Episode 10 Sabacc in Business

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 10:
Sabacc In Business

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

CAMERON: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Cameron, not your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Thank you so much to GearedForMusic for leaving us an iTunes review. You saying that listening to us was like hanging out with your funny, nerdy friends in space made us smile. iTunes is actually the reason that I’m giving the intro today instead of Nick, your actual game master. GearedForMusic’s review took us to 13 reviews. When we reach 20, we’ll be releasing a series of flashback episodes that I ran featuring Karma’s twin sons. We brought in two of our best friends to play Jet and Juke Nailo, and we had a ton of fun recording this little side adventure. The best thing about the flashback episodes is that we’ll be releasing them on off weeks, so you’ll get double the Tabletop Squadron in your ears for approximately six weeks. I have the first episode edited and ready to go as soon as we hit that 20th review, and I would love for all of you lovely listeners to make me feel rushed to get the next two done.

A huge thank you to everyone who has left us reviews so far and said nice things about us and the show. The squad appreciates it more than you can possibly know. Anyway, I’ve talked enough. Thanks for reviewing, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy.

## [0:01:47]

NICK: Hello, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 10! I’m your host, Nick. Good to have you back! Nothing special.

(long pause, laughter)

HUDSON: Wait, what? Oh, okay. I get it. You can say good to have you back because you’re not referencing it as like we’ve been gone.

STEVEN: Yes.

NICK: Some people may not know…

CAMERON: (sighs)

NICK: This show releases every two weeks, so we can pretend that we know our listeners and that we’re happy to see them. (laughter) This is going in the god damn episode.

LAURA: We are happy to see our listeners despite this being a purely audio medium.

NICK: Well that’s what the microphones are for. If you look through them you can see, like, ten.

STEVEN: Oh, I see it.

LAURA: Oh.

NICK: Yeah. See!

CAMERON: Mine must be broken.

NICK: So, we’re gonna go around the table—

LAURA: Is that why there’s a crystal ball in the middle of the table, so we can astrally view our listener?

NICK: Well, that’s a d1, actually. You roll it if you need a number between one and one.

CAMERON: Hmm. Alright, cool.

HUDSON: The villain from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers left it.

(laughter)

NICK: So, moving on! We’re gonna go around the table and introduce everybody real quick, starting with Steven!

STEVEN: Hi.

NICK: Hi.

STEVEN: I’m Steven.

NICK: Hi Steven.

STEVEN: I play Sabos the Togruta. Sabos a Togruta? He’s not the only Togruta.

NICK: Good work. Moving on. Cameron!

CAMERON: [through giggles] Hi, I’m Cameron.

NICK: Hi Cameron.

CAMERON: I’m playing Karma the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Great. And, Hudson!

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson. I’m playing Tink, the Gigoran slicer who has the career skill of Technician.

NICK: See Steven, they remember specific facts about their character and relate them in a standard way.

STEVEN: Oh. … No, I don’t do that.

NICK: Yeah, obviously. And, Laura!

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: We got some experience last time we played, if you could just rattle off what you’ve spent any experience points on. We’ll start with Cameron.

CAMERON: So, for Karma, I bought a talent on my Assassin bounty hunter tree, Quickdraw. Once per round I can draw or holster a weapon or item as an incidental.

SEVERAL: Ooh.

NICK: Does it have a limit on what kind of weapon?

CAMERON: Nope.

NICK: So you could like draw a rocket launcher?

CAMERON: Sure. If I have one. I don’t currently, but…

NICK: Eh, I’ll get you one. Yeah, that’ll be fine.

CAMERON: Maybe we can fix that.

NICK: Let’s go to Steven.

STEVEN: Hi. I, Sabos, the Togruta fringer—

NICK: Hey! Good work.

STEVEN: Yay—spun, spent, did spend, spent, right? Spent 15 points on Rapid Recovery in my fringer tree which allows me, when healing strain after an encounter, to heal one additional strain per rank of Rapid Recovery.

NICK: Okay. So, continue to shoot Sabos. Duly noted.

LAURA: Got it.

CAMERON: Only with stun, though.

NICK: I’ll just—He’ll figure it out.

STEVEN: I haven’t got the crit one yet, sorry.

NICK: Okay. Laura.

LAURA: I am hoarding my points.

NICK: You have spent no points.

LAURA: I have spent no points.

NICK: Saving up for that shiny new talent.

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: Okay. Hudson, did you spend any experience points?

HUDSON: I’ve spent zero experience points this time, because I’m saving up for a shiny new talent on my talent tree.

NICK: Okay! How about the Destiny Roll!

CAMERON: Two light side.

STEVEN: Two light side.

LAURA: One light side.

HUDSON: One light side.

CAMERON: So we have six light side points!

NICK: Alright, so, we haven’t recorded in a while, just a peek behind the curtain. We’ve had some stuff happen and haven’t recorded in a while, worked our way through our back log, so we’re gonna give a little bit of a recap and make sure all of the players know what’s going on.

So, stepping back a couple of steps. You fled Unroola Dawn. You went to an asteroid and shot some people, and killed them, and then you went to Ithor, which is a planet with like hammerhead slow-talky guys. You landed on the planet, and you went and met the Ithorian Oracle, and gave them the Stone Breaker, further cementing your business relationship. You then went to the…

CAMERON: Gooberfish!

LAURA: The Gooberfish.

NICK: Yeah, The Gooberfish, one of the bars that is near the Oracle’s retreat, and you met with your contact. Karma is currently disguised as an Imperial something or other in a full cloak and robes, and it turned out that your contact was…

CAMERON: Felton Mox.

NICK: …was Felton Mox, a large otter of a guy with a beer belly. He’s a Selonian, and somebody who you may remember was your original bounty in Prologue 1. So, you talked to him a little bit. He was able to give you a small, gray plasteel box with something inside with instructions that it would help you to break the blockade, and he also informed you that he may or may not have lost another piece of the puzzle, the Rancore Protocol, and he tried very hard to convince you that you didn’t need him and that he was gonna go on his way and everything was good, but that’s about where we left off, you all grabbing him as he tried to leave and saying ‘no, we think we’ll hold onto you.’ You know that Kettle has the Rancore Protocol somewhere, and that she’s somewhere on the planet, and you know that Felton Mox is supposed to be your contact with local information who can help you, and you now have the little plasteel box with something in it.

Okay. We start our scene. You are standing in the late afternoon sun on the street of the Ithorian herdship, which is a giant floating city above a beautiful, pristine jungle way below. You can’t see it from where you are, but it’s there. You’re standing outside The Gooberfish. Tink has a big mitt on Felton Mox’s shoulder. He looks extremely uncomfortable, he’s sweating a little in the humidity and is trying to inch away from you, but he’s not going anywhere. You have just exited the bar, and it’s time to make a plan.

CAMERON: I forgot—I’m not talking.

HUDSON: Out of game real quick, would Felton know where Kettle is?

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: That was kind of my strategy was to tell him that [mumbled speech]

HUDSON: We should find an alley to rough him up.

NICK: Yeah, he knows where Kettle is.

HUDSON: Okay. Back in game.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: “So, you’re gonna tell us where Kettle is, right?”

NICK: “You don’t really… You’re not gonna go after her, are you? That seems like a really bad idea. I wouldn’t recommend that.”

HUDSON: “I don’t think I asked for your advice, friend.”

NICK: He pulls at the collar that he doesn’t have, and goes “ewwehheww” and looks at your giant vibro-axe, and says, “Duly noted. Uh, yeah. She’s at a gaming room at the edge of the herdship. I could show you, I guess, where she is. And then we’re done, right? I can leave after that.”

CAMERON: Karma shakes her hooded head ominously, in a ‘no…’

NICK: Getting a real ghost of Christmas future vibe.

LAURA: “Do not worry about them. They are fine.”

NICK: ‘Oh. Yeah… ‘kay. Yu know, it’s weird, you all seem kind of rough and tumble. It’s strange for you to be hanging out with a high profile Imperial agent. That’s not normal.”

CAMERON: Karma nods. (laughs)

LAURA: “It’s not normal, but it is just how we do things. It works.”

HUDSON: “You haven’t gotten to know me. I’m actually a very sensitive soul.”

NICK: “Yeah, I can feel that, from that—Hey, hey, I think you’re grinding my bones together. Can you lighten up a little bit?”

HUDSON: “Sorry.”

LAURA: “Yes, yes, please do not break the captives.”

HUDSON: “Yeah. I shouldn’t do that at all. I thought my fur would provide enough, you know, kind of filter, buffer.”

NICK: “Yeah, uh, business partners. Just wanna clarify, business partners. Not captive. Same team.” He gives an optimistic double thumbs up.

LAURA: “Well…”

STEVEN: “You don’t wanna know how I ended up with the fourth head tail.”

NICK: “You’re right, I don’t, because I imagine that is a story involving your conception.”

LAURA: Xianna does not handle this. “Wait. Okie. Have you always had it, or did you get it? How did you get it? And why is it a bad thing that you have it?”

STEVEN: I just point at the Imperialist, and be like, “Don’t mess with her.”

LAURA: “But what—Because the head tails symbolize virility…”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

LAURA: “…would it not be better to have more? Because some Twi’leks have a third one…”

STEVEN: “… Yes.”

LAURA: “…and you know, they are considered sexier.”

STEVEN: “… No.”

LAURA: “So is it yes or no?!”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

NICK: Someone’s been watching a lot of Senate hearings lately. (laughter)

STEVEN: “I try to be scary sounding with threats—Emperors, Emperor, Imperial!”

NICK: There it is!

LAURA: “I still do not understand what that has to do with your head tail.”

STEVEN: “I have head tails. Anyway, you’re gonna show us where Queen Kettle is.”

NICK: As you turn back to Felton, you can see he’s been slowly sidling. Tink’s arm is so long it’s just been stretching out towards an alley, but he hasn’t let go. He stops. “Okay. Fine. I’ll show you to the gaming room. It’s not that far. I guess I owe Sentinel enough that I can at least do that part of the job.” And you take off through the beautiful herdship.

The floating city is very nice. It looks almost organic in its construction. It’s very clean. You see not a ton of Ithorians, but all of the people you see pretty much are Ithorians. That tends to happen when there’s a blockade in orbit, but there’s not that many. Maybe you see a couple every block or so kind of walking around. It looks like there’s not a ton of population for the size of this city. As you continue you come to a dome that looks right on the edge of the herdship. There’s a low, waist-high wall that circles the edge of the city, and over that you can see the horizon, and a drop of like 8,000 feet, and then the jungle down below. You can see kind of the ebb and flow of trees but not necessarily like individual details. The dome doesn’t really have any features. The top third of it is all glass sky lights. The construction looks kind of similar to the pavilion that the orca? was staying in, just more permanent, and a revolving door, because I like those, so there’s one on this dome at the front. It is glass, but the glass gets opaque as it gets hit by the sunlight and starts to fade as it goes around, so you can’t see into the building, but you see it getting darker and lighter as it goes around. It’s very nifty.

Felton says, “Well, so that’s the gaming room. It’s just called the gaming room. It caters mostly to off-worlders, because the Ithorians aren’t really much for gambling. They’re a little more placid, honestly.” He looks at Tink and says, “Placid, not flaccid. Placid. It means calm, like you’re not being.”

HUDSON: “I know what it means.”

NICK: “Right. So, anyway. The gaming room’s right there, Kettle’s inside. I have guided you. Have a great day.”

STEVEN: “Why don’t you show us in?”

NICK: “Oh, you just walk through the doors. It’s not that complicated.”

LAURA: “No, you should come with us.”

CAMERON: The hood shakes no.

STEVEN: “I’m not familiar with these doors on my home planet. I think I need you to help.”

NICK: He seems so confused that he starts walking before he does anything, and is quickly at the doors and pushes through. Inside is, imagine a ritzy kind of casino look but it’s not that big, probably a couple thousand square feet, the size of a medium gymnasium. There are gaming tables around. I want everyone to provide one detail of this gaming room, this alien gambling den, starting with… whoever thinks of something first.

HUDSON: The trunk people are all playing baccarat.

NICK: (laughs) The trunk people?

HUDSON: I mean, that might be racist, I just don’t remember their real alien race name.

NICK: The trunk people are playing baccarat. It’s an alien—

HUDSON: They’re also drunk.

NICK: The drunk trunk people are playing baccarat, but it’s like space baccarat, so are there lasers involved, or…?

HUDSON: Yeah. It’s high stakes in like a life or death way, which you would never think of baccarat as being normally, but they’ve done it.

(laughter)

NICK: Okay. The back wall, you actually see that the dome protrudes over the edge of the herdship a little bit, and the baccarat table is over there, and they seem to be standing on little trap doors as they’re playing. Nothing comes from that, but those are there. That’s cool. Okay, what else?

STEVEN: So, it has like a fountain, except the fountain is a drink fountain, and the drink that comes out of it is Flame Out. It’s got a Flame Out fountain.

NICK: A fountain of Flame Out…

STEVEN: And it kind of sparkles and buzzes in the scary way.

NICK: Yeah. That sounds about right.

STEVEN: Slightly luminescent.

NICK: Eh. Sounds less and less appetizing.

LAURA: Sounds less and less like a Flame Out.

STEVEN: It’s flaming out.

NICK: It’s as though you can’t tell if the pipes can’t handle the alcohol content or if there’s a loose electric wire somewhere in the basin.

STEVEN: Right. They might be enhancing the look of the Flame Out fountain.

NICK: Yeah, and with a fountain of that particular type of drink, that means that the air has a spicy, minty smell just permeating the place. It starts nice. It gets old real fast.

LAURA: There’s a large Sabacc area, and all the little Sabacc machines are like gilded gold. They’re very pretty.

SEVERAL: Ooh.

CAMERON: There’s a kickass chandelier that may or may not have aliens doing acrobatics on it in the center of the dome.

LAURA: It does.

CAMERON: I mean, it does.

NICK: What’s the name of the little rat guy from Jabba’s palace?

LAURA: Salacious B. Crumb? It’s not that.

NICK: There’s Salacious B. Crumbs wiggling around?

CAMERON: No. It’s not those. It’s not those, no. It’s like the Kushibans who are just doing flips and stuff in the chandeliers.

LAURA: Oh you—Xianna’s gonna get nothing done, you guys. (laughter) She’s just gonna be standing in the middle like, “Oh, there’s a chandelier. Look at that! Oh, look at them go!”

NICK: Okay, so yeah. The whole thing is lit very nicely.

HUDSON: And it is lit, like—

NICK: It is lit, 420.

HUDSON: Yes.

LAURA: And as we walk in, Xianna looks at everyone else and goes, “Oh, by the way, does anyone have like a gambling problem? (snorts and laughter) That we should watch out?”

CAMERON: A little late.

NICK: Sabos is looking a little nervous right now.

STEVEN: “Uh, no. I like—No. I like the home world just fine. Everything’s fine.”

LAURA: “Kay… because I kind of do. So, watch out for me.” (giggling)

STEVEN: “I don’t escape the home world to gamble. No, I mean, eh. We’re fine.”

HUDSON: “My only problem is I’m not gambling. That’s my gambling problem. Just kidding, I don’t have a problem at all.”

NICK: Oh boy.

LAURA: “I will probably be fine. Don’t worry. I’m sure I will be fine.”

NICK: What thoughts are going through Karma’s head as everyone admits that this is a dangerous situation for them?

CAMERON: She’s just shaking her head. She’s far more comfortable here than she was on Unroola Dawn, because this is the type of scenario she’s used to being in when trying to track people down. She’s often in bars and casinos and stuff, because that’s where the type of people that she’s after normally hang out. And she feels far more elegant than everyone else, and like she fits in better because of the cloak.

NICK: So, the camera pans around to the jingling sound of holo-slot machines striking jackpots. There are several Sabacc tables with golden Sabacc projectors in the middle. They definitely are projecting HD cards, because you normally see in Star Wars holograms are kind of woobly and look like their bunny antenna had been out of wack. These are all very crisp. It looks like you could almost touch them, but they disappear as people play them.

While most of the players are some assorted races, there’s probably 20 or 30 people in here, all the dealers are Ithorian pretty much. So, the ones at the Sabacc tables, each table has two or three people, you know that up to seven can play but they tend to like to spread out. So, Sabacc is—For the people who don’t know Star Wars… (snooty)

LAURA: Mm-hmm… (snooty)

NICK: Sabacc is sort of a mix between Poker, Blackjack, and Yu-Gi-Oh, as far as I can tell.

LAURA: Good description, actually. That’s about right.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: You can build your own deck. It’s got some math junk in it, but it’s mostly Blackjack except when it’s not, and the rules change depending on which extended universe book you read, but the professional Sabacc people like to play with about three, as they think that gives them the best odds. It’s sort of like when people go to Vegas and they try to count cards because they’ve read the book about counting cards and think that they’re very good at it. It’s just a rule of thumb, it doesn’t actually really do that much, but that’s why there’s so many tables is people like to play low. You can tell that a lot of the seats don’t get used that much because people also have favorite seats, and we’re getting too into Sabacc. I just think it’s interesting.

So, some of the Ithorian card dealers look up as you come in and look at you before dismissing. Some eyes definitely stay on Karma for a while, because she is the first Imperial that has set foot on the planet since the blockade started as far as they know, so that’s real weird. You can see they have some questions.

Everyone except for Karma is feeling pretty solidly buzzed from the drinks that they had at The Gooberfish. You all had several. Felton Mox stands in front of you. He kind of shakes Tink’s hand off his shoulder and gestures grandly to everyone. His fur ripples with the motion. He says, “So, this is it, I brought you in. That’s great, right? I’ll, uh, see you later,” and he turns to try and leave again.

LAURA: Xianna was like looking up in the chandelier and is like, “Oh, yes, we are doing something. No, you cannot go yet. No.”

CAMERON: Karma walks over to Felton and links her arm through his.

NICK: He shudders a little, and then he gets like a look on his face as you’re standing there arm in arm. “This… is a weird feeling of space deja vu right now, standing arm in arm with you. Have we met before?”

LAURA: “So anyways… (laughter) Um, yes. Uh, Kettle? That is who we are–?”

NICK: As you bring that up, you can see that there’s a separate Sabacc table in a roped in area kind of towards the far back. It’s on part of the transparasteel floor that overhangs the jungle, and it has a little Chadra-fan dealer running the table. For those of you who don’t know, a Chadra-fan is a little bat person that’s like three feet tall, and doesn’t have wings, and is super cute. You can see it in New Hope. It’s the one that gets its drink from the bar with two hands and makes a cute little squeaky noise.

He’s wearing a green vest with a leaf pattern on it, and has one of those little green visor dealer hats on. He looks kind of torn as he deals out the cards. So, he’s setting out one set of cards for a human that is sweating profusely. His dark hair is matted down to his face and he’s gripping each card like it’s the only thing in the galaxy. The other set of cards goes to a strange insectile-looking creature with their back to you. They’re covered in scars and their wings are tattered. If you make a Xenology check you might know what this thing is. Except for Sabos, Sabos recognizes this thing.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty on the Xenology check?

NICK: Hard.

HUDSON: I’ll let you guys handle this one.

CAMERON: Sure. It could happen.

LAURA: I mean, I’ll roll.

NICK: Also, while they’re rolling, you may notice that some of our dice noises changed. We got cool little dice cups because our dice pools were getting too big, so thanks Kickstarter.

LAURA: I got a failure.

CAMERON: Yeah, so Karma got two failures and two advantages.

NICK: Okay. Is there something you would like to spend the advantages on?

LAURA: Wait, Hudson, why don’t you make Xenology rolls? You have a four in Intellect.

CAMERON: You’re smart!

HUDSON: Oh! You’re right.

LAURA: You do way better. I only have a two.

CAMERON: I have a two! You’re way smarter than us.

HUDSON: And I get to use this new fun cup.

LAURA: Xianna’s cunning, but she’s not smart.

HUDSON: What’s that, two advantages?

STEVEN: Absolutely nothing.

HUDSON: Oh.

NICK: Complete wash! Okay. None of you recognize what this particular species would be, but you do notice that Felton is staring pretty pointedly at that table, like that’s where you guys need to go. Sabos, you recognize that as Kettle most likely. You don’t see Geonosians every day, but that’s definitely one of them, and those are pretty rare.

STEVEN: I didn’t see her from the back, though.

NICK: No, but it’s like—

STEVEN: Yeah.

NICK: So, it’s a large, brown insectile creature. There’s not so many of those out there. What do you guys wanna do?

LAURA: “Okie, Tink, give me your credits.”

HUDSON: “Your—My what?”

LAURA: “Your credits! You know, your money.”

HUDSON: “Oh, credits. Oh, uh, wait all of it?”

LAURA: “Most of them.”

HUDSON: “Why?”

LAURA: “So I can go to the table.”

STEVEN: While they’re doing that, I just walk up to the table and say, “Hi Queen.”

(laughter)

LAURA: “Oh, never mind. It appears Sabos knows her.”

HUDSON: “Wait, don’t you have cred—Never mind.”

LAURA: “I have some, but I need more for the gambling. I do not know what the buy in is.” (laughing)

NICK: So we get this nice top-down shot of the Sabacc table and Kettle playing cards, and it angles over to Sabos who walks up and greets her, and in the background we see Xianna and Tink talking about credits and elbowing each other, and then they just stop and turn to look at the scene.

As you say ‘hi Queen,’ the Geonosian tosses down her cards and says, “Well, Mr. Alto, it looks like we’ll be in touch,” and he hangs his head and stands up from the table before walking away. The human looks very distraught and runs his hands through his hair. Whenever the Chadra-fan dealer looks at Kettle he smiles real big and looks really excited, but then he’ll look back at the human who’s slowly walking away and look like someone just stole his vest and looks very sad, and he kind of alternates back between being happy for Kettle and sad for the human.

So, Kettle sets her cards down and cracks her neck, which makes a really hollow popping noise. She looks up at you. “Ah, Councilman Sako. What a pleasant surprise.”

STEVEN: “Yes, it’s been… ages, it seems.”

NICK: “Yeah, it’s been about… three days, I think, at this point.”

STEVEN: “A lot happens in three days as you might know.”

NICK: “Really? You’ll have to tell me about that sometime.”

STEVEN: “Absolutely. So, you got through the blockade too, huh?”

NICK: “Oh, blockades are really more of a formality for someone like me.”

STEVEN: “(chuckles) I understand.”

NICK: “It turns out they are until you get down on the planet when they take it real seriously. Sometimes you get, well, inconvenienced.”

STEVEN: “I couldn’t imagine.”

NICK: “Yeah. It’s actually convenient that  you’re here. Maybe with your political clout, Councilman Sako…”

STEVEN: “That’s exactly how I got through the blockade.”

NICK: “Yeah, well, maybe you can help me get out of this particular situation.”

STEVEN: “I actually think we’re looking to have you help us get out of this situation as well, so this seems like a very mutualistic situation.”

NICK: “How fortuitous. You’ll have to introduce me to your friends.” She looks around to the rest of the group.

STEVEN: “Yes. Absolutely.”

LAURA: “Hello~!” Xianna waves at her.

CAMERON: Karma and Felton have floated over.

NICK: She nods to you regally.

HUDSON: I scrunch up and look suspicious.

CAMERON: Scrunch up what?

HUDSON: Body-wise.

CAMERON: Like, just your whole body? You just like shrink?

LAURA: Like your little face?

HUDSON: Like a slight tense up.

NICK: Kettle nods to you all, and sees Felton, and goes, “Felton, what are you trying to do bringing muscle on me? You lost fair and square, and it’s time for you to go do your part of the bargain,” and she looks very disinterested in him.

He says, “Well, look, hey—“

STEVEN: “Oh, he’s not here for muscle. He’s actually a very lovable creature.”

NICK: “Oh, well—“

STEVEN: I say pointing at Tink.

NICK: “Oh—Uh, yeah. I thought you were talking about me. That would’ve been…”

STEVEN: “Oh, no.”

NICK: “No. Obviously not, right? Uh, no, Kettle, I’m just here to introduce my new friends, uh, business associates. Really just some people I met in a bar. We’re not really associates… You’re right, I should probably go work on that thing—“

STEVEN: “Nope!”

NICK: “—that you told me to do…”

CAMERON: Karma does not let go of his arm.

NICK: “…but I can’t seem to be rid of them.” He smiles real big. “So, yeah. I guess we could play some cards, maybe, or go to a business room, or do something…” and Kettle just waits to see what you guys have to say.

STEVEN: Is there a VIP room available? Like, you know, big bets, away from listening crowds.

NICK: The Chadra-fan perks up and starts to look eagerly between you all, and Kettle says, “Well, this is basically the big bet area right here. You can tell from the velvet rope and the nice floor windows, but we don’t have those crazy trap doors.”

STEVEN: “I’m okay with that.”

NICK: The camera snaps over real quick to the baccarat table You see an Aqualish which is like a big walrus person go (roars) and then there’s a red buzzer noise, and the floor jiggles a little, and they all look real nervous but it doesn’t give away, and then the camera snaps back to you.

(giggling)

LAURA: “Oh no…”

STEVEN: “Cool.”

NICK: “Yeah. The designers of this game room really like the idea of high stakes, meaning more than just bigger numbers, but the Ithorians aren’t real big on raining gamblers down upon their sacred jungle, so it’s pretty rare. We have that mostly turned off.”

STEVEN: Well, uh, I invite my acquaintances to have a seat, and it feels kind of weird inviting the Imperial to have a seat because I would think the Imperial would invite us to have a seat, but I invite everyone to have a seat at the table with Kettle.

LAURA: Xianna sits pretty quickly.

NICK: Cool, so you all sit at the table. The Chadra-fan eagerly starts dealing out cards. Let’s say it’s 100 credits to get in on this.

STEVEN: (deep inhale) “Give me a sec…”

LAURA: (laughs) Sabos.

STEVEN: “Okay. I can play a game or two.”

NICK: So, it’s like 100 credits for playing through the scene, it’s not gonna be per hand.

STEVEN: Oh. I can play that.

CAMERON: Karma can’t.

NICK: Ouch. Are you gonna try to get credits from someone else to play with?

CAMERON: No, Karma’s just not playing.

NICK: Okay. You’re just gonna stand in the background?

CAMERON: Holding onto Felton. We’re just standing ominously to the side of the table.

HUDSON: I’ll play.

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna puts in credits.

NICK: Okay. You toss the credits in. A little mini mouse bot, probably like three or four inches long with what looks like a snow plow on the end, comes out and scoops your credits off into a slot and goes away, so it makes the little meepy droid noises, and then digital—except it’s Star Wars—so like analog displays pop up with your credit count, and the Chadra-fan starts to deal out cards.

Kettle says, “Oh, so your Imperial friend…” If she had eyebrows she’d be wiggling them. “You Imperial friend won’t be playing, and I know Felton can’t afford to play, but this is a friendly game. What brings you to my end of the herdship?” And you start playing cards.

STEVEN: I look at Xianna.

LAURA: I looked at Sabos, in this face of like, well he knows her, so… Also, I kind of forgot what we were doing. (laughter) Did you see the chandelier in here?!

STEVEN: I excuse myself for a second to go get some Flame Out, and I come back. “As you might know—”

NICK: Wait, wait, wait. You can’t describe something fun like that and then just move on.

STEVEN: (chuckles)

NICK: As you run over to the fountain the smell gets stronger.

STEVEN: It does.

NICK: Your eyes start to water a little bit.

STEVEN: It reminds me of home.

NICK: A green Twi’lek, she’s not very tall, she’s even a little shorter than Xianna, because Xianna’s what, 5’6”?, 5’?

LAURA: I am 1.71 meters.

NICK: What does that mean in English?

LAURA & CAMERON: 5’6”.

NICK: Okay. So, she’s shorter than Xianna. She’s probably about 5’ flat. She’s green, and she’s got a waitress outfit on, and she grabs a copper mug and scoops some out and takes a cloth to wipe the edge so that it’s dry. She tells you, “The high rollers don’t pay for drinks,” and she hands one to you.

STEVEN: “Oh. Thank you very kindly.”

NICK: So, you have your booze.

STEVEN: I do.

NICK: You head back to the–?

HUDSON: “Hey! Can you get me a–?”

STEVEN: “Flame Out?! Absolutely!” I get my Flame Out and just bring it to him, then I go back and ask if they have a bigger glass.

NICK: The Twi’lek cocks a tattooed eyebrow at you, because fun Star Wars fact: Twi’leks don’t have eyebrows but the females often tattoo them on to make people not freaked out about not having eyebrows, and gets two mugs and does the routine of scooping it out and shrugs.

STEVEN: I apologize and point at Tink, and then I think she understands. He is large.

NICK: She doesn’t really seem all that engaged.

STEVEN: Perfect.

NICK: Professionally polite is how I would describe her.

STEVEN: I take both mugs and keep them to myself as I sit down.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

HUDSON: Where’s my drink?

STEVEN: I gave you the original one.

NICK: He gave you the first one.

HUDSON: Oh, sorry.

STEVEN: I just got more of it.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Xianna, after watching this whole thing, you see her kind of put her hands on her hips and cock her head to the side in mild annoyance at the whole exchange, but she doesn’t do anything.

LAURA: No.

NICK: So, Kettle’s been holding cards this entire time. “So, are we playing or what?”

STEVEN: “Yes. I apologize, Queen. I play better with drinks.”

NICK: Alright. I want a gambling roll out of y’all.

CAMERON: Is that Skulduggery?

NICK: Yeah, I’d take Skullduggery.

STEVEN: Oh will you?

LAURA: Can do.

STEVEN: Will you take… yeah, well… Streetwise?

NICK & LAURA: No.

STEVEN: Uh… Negotiation?

NICK: No.

STEVEN: Cool.

NICK: No.

STEVEN: Okay then.

(giggling)

CAMERON: Astrogation!

STEVEN: How about Astrogation? (laughs) So, just Skullduggery, huh? Okay.

HUDSON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Let’s do average.

LAURA: Sure.

HUDSON: Might I go first?

NICK: Yeah, go ahead.

HUDSON: Two successes and a threat.

STEVEN: I got a success, without Skulduggery. Hell yes.

LAURA: Ohhh!

HUDSON: Oh snap.

CAMERON: Oh shit!

LAURA: Ohhh snap! Okay, so it’s two triumphs that are not cancelled by anything, plus two more successes… Yes.

NICK: Two triumphs and two more successes?

CAMERON: Yes, so four successes total, and then also two triumphs.

NICK: Oh boy. Okay, and then if someone could roll me a hard check against just three greens, please.

CAMERON: A success.

STEVEN: Fall prone.

CAMERON: … No, they cancel.

STEVEN: Oh. I didn’t see that bottom one. Okay, yeah.

LAURA: Mm, fall out of the chair!

CAMERON: It was three threats, but it is also three advantages, so it’s just one success.

NICK: Okay. Thank you.

CAMERON: You’re welcome.

HUDSON: I start to get a little nervous because my hand was bad, so I drink my drink pretty fast.

NICK: Okay. You start pounding away on this drink. You guys have made some small talk, and after the first few hands Xianna makes an extremely aggressive bet and you all go for it, and Kettle has a very contemplative look on her face, and then she goes in on it too, and she just mops the floor with you. You have a Purple Conundrum, one of the best hands in Sabacc as far as anyone knows.

LAURA: Well, I build up a fake tell. I assume that’s what I do, is I probably hustle a little bit and I do a few hands where like, oh I twitched my eye a little bit so it makes it seem like when I do the high bet that I’m bluffing, and then I’m not.

NICK: Nice. Kettle nods with respect to you as your counter goes way up and everyone else’s goes down. Nobody’s out, but there is a definite disparity. That could be one of the triumphs. Is there something as far as outside the game you would like your other triumph to do for you?

CAMERON: (gasps) I have a thing that I was wanting to do…

LAURA: (whispered) What?

CAMERON: Okay. I was trying to figure out if I would do a Skulduggery or Stealth check to try and get my binders on Felton, because I have the ones that are individual bracelets and then I can do something to magnetize them and they go together, so I have one of his arms, but he’s very into the game now and doesn’t notice me do it.

NICK: Sure. Yeah. Are you binding him to you or just his hands together?

CAMERON: No. I’m just—He’s getting a bracelet that he can’t remove on both wrists.

NICK: Is that how you would like to spend your triumph, or do you want her to roll for it and you want yours for something else?

LAURA: No, so, we’ll do that, and what I want to happen is I can see her starting to get like the prep ready. I can see her surreptitiously pulling a binder down, and so then what I do is, I think I’m probably sitting next to Tink, and I spill his drink and make a big scene over it. “Oh no, Tink, I spilled your drink! … Oh, haha, that rhymed.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “I was gonna get another anyway.”

LAURA: “Oh no! We will get you a new one.” And I try to flag down the Twi’lek waitress from before.

STEVEN: I slide one of mine over.

LAURA: “No, we do not want Your drink. We want a New drink. I want that Twi’lek waitress. Hello~! We need some new drinks, and maybe a towel of some sort, or maybe a cleanup droid. Please?”

HUDSON: “Oh hey, hey, could you get me a Green Extermination?”

LAURA: “I do not know what that is. Also, you are all wet with the drink.”

HUDSON: “Things always dry on me.”

CAMERON: (laughs) Ew.

LAURA: I’m still flagging the waitress down.

NICK: Yeah. The waitress pointedly doesn’t make eye contact with Sabos. She flounces over. She’s got, I’m picturing like the beer maiden German waitress outfit on her, but space, so like a sticky-outie skirt, a very cleavagey top with straps that go aside the shoulders, and she comes over and leans down towards you and says, “What can I help you with?”

LAURA: “Hi. Well, first off, there was a drink that got spilled.”

NICK: “Oh yeah, I see that.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “You know, it always seems to happen to whoever loses the hardest. Isn’t that interesting?” She titters away behind her hand.

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “This whole thing’s a scam.”

LAURA: “No it is not. I just beat you.”

HUDSON: (growls)

LAURA: “He would like… He called it a Green Extermination. I do not even know if that is a real drink, but he wants one.”

NICK: “I think we can make that happen. Would you like anything?”

LAURA: “Yes. I would like a Starship Juice, please.”

NICK: “Starship Juice? Oh, that’s one of the specials of the house,” and she flounces away. If this was animated there would be little boingy noises as she goes. She’s much happier talking to you than she was to the others.

LAURA: Because I smile, and say thank you.

NICK: Yeah, and as she walks away she winks conspiratorially at you.

LAURA: No, she doesn’t wink. She Twi’lek winks.

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: Which is, she does a little lekku move that we know is our equivalent of a wink, because we can like somewhat use them to communicate.

NICK: Ooh, I like that a lot. Ooh! She also has the suits of Sabacc cards tattooed on her lekku.

CAMERON: Oh cool.

LAURA: Aww, yes.

NICK: That starts at her forehead and goes back, so those look very neat. You get distracted by that for a second. Yeah, so she goes away and gets a drink. While that’s all going on, Karma very quickly slips the binders onto Felton. He doesn’t notice, until she starts to go by and you can see him—

CAMERON: I didn’t magnetize them. I just have them on there so that if he tries to run I can make his hands jump together.

NICK: Okay, so he doesn’t notice at all, he just has heavier bracelets, which means he does slap her on the butt as she goes by, and the waitress turns around and in one fluid motion plants a fist into his solar plexus, which is a pretty satisfying thing because he’s kind of paunchy, and he doubles over groaning.

LAURA: “That is what you deserve.”

CAMERON: Karma laughs. She tries not to, but she can’t help it.

NICK: The Twi’lek waitress gives a lekku twitch that, I don’t know if Karma can read lekku, probably not.

LAURA: Probably not.

NICK: But she gives one that’s like the equivalent of the jaunty salute, and she keeps going. Felton, who’s head is down by his knees, you can tell he’s trying to breathe and having trouble. “I just—I’ve always had a thing for tentacles. (groans)”

LAURA: “Don’t we all.”

STEVEN: I turn around and look at him, like look at my head tails. (laughter)

CAMERON: The camera slows and does a slow motion shot of Sabos’s head tails flinging over, and it does like the star, slightly glittery…

LAURA: Oh! There’s absolutely the anime sparkle!

CAMERON: Yeah!

LAURA: And then like little roses appear on the corner of the screen as he stops.

CAMERON: Oh yeah. It’s gorgeous.

NICK: And then the camera snap cuts to Felton’s face twisted in pain and mesmerized disgust as he stares at Sabos, and then we get back to the game.

STEVEN: I turn back around and try to hit him with the head tail as I turn back.

NICK: He’s like 20 feet from you.

STEVEN: I try. It doesn’t work.

NICK: Okay. They fling out. The Chadra-fan is practically vibrating. The thing about being a Sabacc dealer is you don’t actually touch cards because it’s all holographic, so you’re mostly just touching a keypad and then working as the craps dealer kind of announcer of ‘this is here’ and ‘you were worth 20 points, hooray,’ but he doesn’t really talk, he just squeaks a little. Everyone seems to be having a good time. Nobody’s out. When he looks at Tink he looks a little anxious like he wants you to be happier but he can’t figure out how. The Chadra-fan presses some buttons and starts to deal a new hand, and Kettle as she’s picking up her cards kind of looks sidelong at Xianna and says, “That was some fine playing there. You seem to have some experience.”

LAURA: “Oh, you know. I play cards here and there.”

NICK: “Yes, clearly. So, you’ve come to the gaming table, currently wiping the floor with me, and normally this is about the point where someone says what exactly they want. I don’t normally get approached just for fun and games. If you’re with Felton you probably need something. He rarely has anything to give. He’s more of a taker, that guy.”

STEVEN: “That makes sense.”

NICK: “So what are you here for?”

STEVEN: “So, you know the blockade exists…”

NICK: “Mm-hmm.”

STEVEN: “…and it might not be the…” I look behind me and see the Imperial and talk quieter. “…might not be the best thing for the planet.”

LAURA: She’s at the table.

CAMERON: I’m standing like right behind you.

STEVEN: I’d say it anyway.

NICK: No, I said you were like ten feet back.

CAMERON: Oh, okay. I didn’t realize I was that far away.

NICK: If you’re not playing you have to be outside the ropes.

CAMERON: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Okay. So you’re probably like right at the ropes, so we could talk to you, but if we whisper you won’t necessarily hear it.

NICK: Plus, that lets you be a little more imposing, because you get to be like mysterious in the distance. Yeah, so.

STEVEN: Anyway. “So, you know, it might not be the best thing for the planet here, and I understand you might have a device, the Rancore Protocol, or an object that might help us defeat the blockade.”

NICK: At that, Kettle nods to herself. “Ah.”

STEVEN: “Well, Felton was supposed to have it, we understand.”

NICK: “Yes, he was, wasn’t he.”

STEVEN: “But he is a little bit, uh, loose-fisted.”

CAMERON: “Useless.” You hear from the other side of the rope. (laughs)

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: Kettle stops and cranks all the way around to look behind her. She’s in the middle seat, so she cranks all the way around to look at you, makes eye contact with Felton who’s finally starting to straighten up a little, and goes, “Yeah, useless,” and turns back. “This is making a lot more sense. It’s interesting…” and she’s fiddling with the cards in her hand. The Chadra-fan is waiting for people to start making their moves. “It’s interesting how many things from Coronet City are ending up coming full circle, isn’t it?” And, if I could get another Skulduggery roll from everyone as they play another hand.

LAURA: Can do.

STEVEN: Sure. Average or hard?

CAMERON: Average?

NICK: Yeah, let’s just do average. It’s more of a competition thing.

STEVEN: Alrighty. I get two successes and a threat.

LAURA: So, two failures, but three advantages.

NICK: Hm.

LAURA: Yeah. I rolled the worst you absolutely could on these dice. It wasn’t…

NICK: Yep.

CAMERON: Kettle has one success.

HUDSON: One failure, two advantages.

NICK: Is there anything you all would specifically like your advantages to get used on? The way we’re doing this gambling mini-game, obviously successes and failures are how well you’re doing. You can either use your advantages to manipulate something in the room, do something outside the game, or they can count towards what your Sabacc total winnings are going to be, but they don’t do very much compared to successes. So, if you have advantages, now would be the time to say if there’s something you wanna spend them on.

LAURA: Could I spend mine to where I’m not winning anything, but I’m kind of folding because I know my cards aren’t right, so I’m losing a little bit of money, but I want to try to set myself up a little bit better so I can just have like a blue die on my next roll.

NICK: Yeah. That’s what I was gonna—(goofy) So, mechanically!

LAURA: (goofy) So, mechanically! Can I get a blue die, please?

NICK: Yeah. You can have a blue die on your next roll.

HUDSON: Can I do that as well when I’m playing my hand so that I can maybe do a little better?

NICK: You only have two advantages.

HUDSON: Ah, that’s true.

NICK: Hell. Okay. You get one blue die. Xianna can have two blue dice.

HUDSON: Okay.

LAURA: Ooh-hoo.

NICK: So, you all do the Botanelli’s Sabacc defense and set up for a later hand. … It’s Sabacc. I can make up whatever the heck I want.

HUDSON: We count Sabaccs.

NICK: Four Sabaccs make a trick.

LAURA: Five Sabacc. They’re not plural.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. So, the cards lay down, and Sabos actually comes out with the win. Tink and Xianna do very poorly, but yeah, they’re playing defensively, whatever that means in cards.

STEVEN: “I’ve never gambled before, guys.”

HUDSON: (groans)

(laughter)

STEVEN: But I say it in a way where you’re pretty darn sure I’m serious.

LAURA: “I actually have no idea if that is true or not. No idea.”

NICK: Kettle is playing really consistently. She’s not losing much money, but she is very clearly evaluating you all, more than she’s focused on her own hand. Sabos makes a pleasant win. He is still in the negative because everybody lost so much money to Xianna on that first hand, but you’re no longer worried about getting knocked out of the running, as it goes. You win. Your analog counter goes up. I’m picturing like old alarm clocks with like the flippy cards. There’s one of those set in the table in front of you and it changes. Extremely 70’s. The little mouse droid that collected your credits does a little victory lap and does a little (small trumpet noise), and then goes back into a little baby garage set into the wall of the table for the mouse droid.

Kettle looks at you and says, “Well, Councilman Sako, that was particularly impressive.”

HUDSON: “Who?”

(laughter)

LAURA: “Tink. Our friend, you know, Sako.”

HUDSON: “Yeah…”

LAURA: She nudges Tink a little bit under the table.

STEVEN: I just, I look at Kettle and say, “It’s a hard word to pronounce in their language, I think.”

NICK: “What, Basic?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

LAURA: “Well, no. You see, he speaks Gigoran, but the translator turns it into Basic, and sometimes it has difficulty with some words.”

STEVEN: “—says Sa-ko, sits, harded… Sako.”

NICK: “Oh, so you weren’t referring to the fact that his name is actually Sabos, and that he was impersonating someone when I dealt with him originally.”

LAURA: “Oh! You know that? Okie, then never mind. Yes, we know that.” (laughs)

STEVEN: “Well, of course she knows that.”

LAURA: “We are just confused, because he doesn’t seem to know which one he actually is, so it’s… you know, confusing.”

NICK: “This is interesting data. So, Sabos, which one do you think you are?”

STEVEN: (deep inhale) “I… Well, most recently I was… Well… I don’t know.”

LAURA: ‘He has gotten too far into the con! He does not know who he is anymore!”

STEVEN: “Because most recently I was actually some Imperial officer that got me through the blockade, so I’m actually pretty darn confused what I am right now.”

NICK: “Duly noted. You know, I’ve worked with some front men before who have had similar issues. It’s an interesting choice in crew leader, (snickering) but if that’s the way you choose to do business, that makes sense.”

HUDSON: “Where’s my kriffin’ drink?”

NICK: As you say that, the Twi’lek woman comes back and sets your Green Extermination in front of you. It’s a very large glass. That’s the only descriptor I’m gonna take, you can take the rest, but it’s a very large glass, and the table actually pops a little side table out so that you have somewhere to set it because the lip of the table isn’t big enough. She sets it down with one hand. She’s a very good waitress, because this is a big thing, she takes it off, loses no balance with anything, keeps the other more normally sized glass. She sets your Starship Juice in the set coaster and she brushes against you a little as she does it. She looks at you and says, “Oh, well I hope you’re doing well.”

LAURA: “Oh yes. Thank you.” I tip her. What is an appropriate tip for this place? What have I seen people tipping?

NICK: So, are you going for an appropriate but generous amount, or like an obscene amount?

LAURA: I’m going for a flirtatious amount. Whatever a flirtatious tip is—So, more than normal, not like crazy extravagant, so I guess our equivalent of like a 40% tip. I don’t know if 20 is the normal Star Wars amount.

STEVEN: A flirtatious tip is like 80-100%.

CAMERON: Uhh…

NICK: Oh, no…

LAURA: No no no. (laughter) Having waited tables, it’s just a bunch of business dudes…

STEVEN: It’s an old dude? Yeah.

LAURA: ……who like, have the company card and just know they can and are feeling generous.

NICK: It’s probably like 30 credits. That’s a solid amount.

LAURA: Yeah. I tip her 30 credits.

STEVEN: That’s a big tip. The buy-in at the table was 100, at the higher roller table?

NICK: We’re using the 100 for that. The table is less of a high rolling table and more of an exclusive table. It’s also because if I set it at actual high roller numbers you guys wouldn’t have been able to play.

STEVEN: Eh, maybe a hand.

NICK: Eh.

LAURA: That’s why I asked for Tink’s money.

NICK: Also, Xianna is still sitting on a lot, so I imagine you’re paying out of your winnings.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Like, flipping her some—I guess it wouldn’t be chips. You press a little indicator on your flip board of numbers and it goes down 30, and her tray beeps at her. She looks and she goes, “Oh, well thank you. Is there anything else I can get you?”

LAURA: “Uh, no thank you.”

NICK: She does a little secret lekku move, that—

LAURA: Ooh~

NICK: –means whatever you want it to mean.

LAURA: (giggles) Xianna smiles at her.

NICK: And she bounces away. Do any of the rest of you notice this whole thing going on?

HUDSON: I’m just happy that I got my drink. I mean, she brought it over, right?

NICK: Yeah. You have your own special extra-large coaster for your very large drink.

HUDSON: I don’t tip. I just tell her that the tip was included with hers.

NICK: She looks at you, rolls her eyes, and just moves on. She’s in a good enough mood now that most people’s hijinks aren’t gonna get to her. So, describe your beverages!

HUDSON: I’m drinking a Green Extermination, which is a green, cinnamon flavored drink with some red ice cubes in it, and in addition some red floating what looks like little candies.

NICK: Huh. Sounds interesting. Xianna, what is your beverage?

LAURA: Oh, well I ordered the Starship Juice. It is very strong, but also very fruity, and since it’s a tiki drink it almost certainly comes in a cutesy little carved tiki glass. It looks like—Ooh! So it’s carved to look like a little loth-cat, and it has an umbrella on the top, and a colorful straw.

CAMERON: It’s a loopy straw.

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: A Luby’s straw?

LAURA & CAMERON: Loopy!

NICK: Oh.

CAMERON: It’s a straw that has loops in it.

NICK: I was gonna say, last time I went to Luby’s the straws were not that special.

LAURA: No, it has at least two loops in it.

HUDSON: That’s usually called a curly straw, right?

CAMERON: Probably.

LAURA: Or curly straw, yes.

HUDSON: No. Crazy straw! Crazy straws!

CAMERON: Crazy straws! There you go. It’s got a crazy straw.

LAURA: It’s got a pink umbrella. It’s pink.

NICK: That’s the important part.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Okay. Your waitress friend has left. “So, the Rancore Protocol…” Kettle says, as the table starts to reset. The way the game has been going, you’ve played several hands, you’re not rolling for every hand, but there’s probably one more big climactic hand coming. “It’s an interesting piece of technology. I have no real use for it. It turns out, I’ve had it analyzed, and it’s still encrypted. If I could get it back to Coronet I think I could probably have someone break it up, but here on Ithor my resources are a little more limited than I would like. Wonderful people, the Ithorians,” she says, as an Ithorian in a pit boss kind of sequenty blazer and pants walks by, and he slowly nods his big hammer head and then continues on, “but not necessarily the most technological. They value nature a little too much. So, I might be able to part with it. You would just have to make it worth my time. It is a resource. I did win it.”

HUDSON: “Why don’t you bet it on this game?”

NICK: “Wow. I hadn’t really thought of that. I was going to charge 20,000 credits for it… but maybe we could make that happen. We won’t even bet it on this game, we’ll bet it on this last hand. Now, you’re gonna need a bigger ante, though.”

STEVEN: “How about if we make it more interesting with say, an Imperial code cylinder?”

CAMERON: (laughing) The hood head tilts.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s head tilts, like ‘What…?’

CAMERON: And then like, the head considers it.

NICK: “I mean, it would really—Do you have it with you? I’d love to see it.”

CAMERON: I do have it on me.

LAURA: “I think so. I mean, we will bet it.”

NICK: She turns around and looks at the cloaked figure of Karma and just imperiously gestures, and does the ‘give me’ hand sign. “I’m not going to take it. I just need to see what level it is.”

STEVEN: “Oh, it’s a… Sure.”

LAURA: “It is a code cylinder.”

STEVEN: “It’s the… it’s the best.”

NICK: This is the one you all already modified, right?

STEVEN: It’s the bigly-est code cylinder.

CAMERON: Uh, we didn’t modify it.

STEVEN: Yeah we did.

NICK: Didn’t you use that to get through the blockade? You used it as part of your passcode?

CAMERON: Oh yeah.

STEVEN: Yeah. It’s a very important intelligence officer code cylinder now.

LAURA: Now it’s pretty important.

CAMERON: It is now, actually. Yeah. It has very high clearance.

NICK: So, do you hand it over?

CAMERON: Yeah. I take it out of my jacket and hand it over.

NICK: So, it’s a cylinder.

CAMERON: Ooh.

NICK: The fun thing is this one’s obviously been bootlegged a little bit. There are some wires sticking out of one end that are crossed over to the other, and the casing is not sealed all the way. It’s like when somebody tries to play with an iPhone and doesn’t open it right, and it mostly goes back together but not all the way. She’s looking at it, and she goes, “Oh, okay. It’s a petty officer cylinder that is actually very important now. Interesting. Yes, that would definitely take some off the ante. I’d take that into account. The only thing about it would be, I’d also want to know who made this, because I may have some more work for them later on.”

HUDSON: “Do you think it’s a good job?”

NICK: “Yeah, actually. It’s good work. There are some things we could do about the cosmetics of it, but once we have that underway I think we could use this to make a pretty lucrative business.”

HUDSON: I look happy, but I’ve also been drinking, so I look a little glazed eyed, and I say, “You’re not part of the conspiracy, are you?”

NICK: She looks at you very seriously and leans forward. The Chadra-fan also leans in. his ears are all perked up.

LAURA: We all lean in.

NICK: She goes, “It depends on the conspiracy, but not the one you’re thinking of.”

HUDSON: “Good.”

NICK: Yeah. She nods to you self-assuredly.

HUDSON: “Okay. Just, right now, things are just everywhere, man. I, they’re all watching us, and we’re all just asleep. None of us are awoken…”

LAURA: “Tink, Tink… Are you on drugs, or do you need to be on drugs?”

STEVEN: “I think his translator is malfunctioning.”

HUDSON: “No, no. I’m as clear-minded as I’ve ever been.”

LAURA: “Are you sure?”

HUDSON: I take another giant drink. “I just, just need some assurance right now, guys.”

NICK: Kettle sits back in her chair. At this point you all have your cards for this last hand, because for whatever reason they’ve been dealt out before you finished deciding what you’re betting, but whatever. She nods and says, “Green Exterminations will do that to you.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “Yeah. I’ll take the code cylinder, probably another 1,000 credits. That seems like a fair trade for a piece of code I can’t use right now.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

STEVEN: “And, winner takes all.”

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: Yeah. That’s how betting works.

NICK: She pulls out a computer spike. It looks like a talon, it’s curved which is weird, and it has a lot of exposed circuitry on it. Tink, you would recognize this as the spike that you used to collect the Rancore Protocol a few days ago. She tosses it into the middle, and she also places the code cylinder, and you all I guess pool your credits and put them in the middle so it adds up to 1,000, and then the mouse droid comes out and hits the pile of things and just goes (small struggle noise), because it’s too much stuff and it’s too heavy for it, so it’s wheels start spinning and you can see it put little tiny divots in the felt of the table. The Chadra-fan looks real concerned and scoops up the mouse droid and the bets and helps it get back to its little garage.

LAURA & CAMERON: Aww.

NICK: It like shakes its head nurturingly. It likes its mouse droid. Then, the hand is dealt, and you all play your final shot.

HUDSON: Who has the best dice?

LAURA: I am rolling two yellow, two green, two blue, and I think I’m gonna—

HUDSON: And we’re gonna flip a point.

CAMERON: Flip a light side, Laura.

HUDSON: Yeah. That’s what I was gonna suggest.

LAURA: So now I’m at three yellow, one green, two blue.

HUDSON: We roll Skulduggery when we gamble?

NICK: Mm-hmm, against average.

STEVEN: I’ll just roll for the fuck of it. Oh, cool. I’m gonna lose.

LAURA: So that is three successes, and (counts) seven advantages!

NICK: Gee whiz.

STEVEN: I just got an advantage.

HUDSON: Um, I have an advantage.

STEVEN: Same.

LAURA: Eh, you tried.

NICK: That’s it?

STEVEN: Oh fuck.

CAMERON: Uh, Kettle got five successes and a threat.

NICK: Yes! Ha ha!

CAMERON: I’m sorry guys. I rolled good that time.

HUDSON: Ooh. We can just take it and run.

NICK: No. it’s in the little garage.

HUDSON: Oh, it is.

NICK: It’s almost as if I thought that might happen. So, what happens is, you all start laying down cards, because Sabacc is actually—you don’t just necessarily lay down a hand, you start anteing each other. Immediately Tink and Sabos play cards that cancel each other out and they’re just out. There’s nothing you can do. You did The Fool’s Gambit. You can make you lose in three parsecs. Star Wars.

LAURA: Ha ha.

NICK: Kettle and Xianna start playing back and forth very quickly, and I think you end up tying. I’m assuming you would use your advantages to try and win the bet.

LAURA: Yes. I would use all seven of my advantages.

NICK: So, yeah. You end up having the exact same hand for some reason. The interesting thing is that the cards that you have, there’s only one in the deck, so somebody’s been cheating but it’s not sure who because the cards are identical. The Chadra-fan looks confused, and then starts to go to press a security button, and Kettle says, “No, no, it’s okay. We’re gonna do one more, but if you lose I’m gonna need a special favor as well.”

LAURA: “Mm, what kind of special favor are we talking about?”

HUDSON: (whispered) It’s sexual.

NICK: No it’s not.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Well, it might be. You don’t know. Don’t judge. “A special favor like a business favor, you know.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: “Something that might take advantage of your talents. You never know.”

HUDSON: “She loves my talents.”

NICK: We’re gonna do one more, but flip a dark side point because Kettle’s gonna get an upgrade. You can still have one blue die Xianna

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: As the cards are starting to deal the Chadra-fan looks real embarrassed and motions for Sabos and Tink to leave the area because they’re out of the game at this point, so you guys have to go an stand outside the velvet rope because you lost. What Kettle does is pulls out a little piece of flimsy and writes a little IOU on it and signs it and puts it in the middle, and hands you a piece of flimsy to do the same thing, Xianna.

LAURA: I definitely write like a little IOU, and I make like a little heart at the end. Or! I don’t remember what the aurubesh letters are for IOU, but I feel like one of them can be turned into like a little heart. That’s definitely how Xianna writes stuff.

NICK: Great. As you’re writing that up the waitress comes back with just a glass of water and puts it next to you. Roll me a Skulduggery check, please. This one’s easy.

LAURA: Three successes.

NICK: Yeah. She hands the glass of water and her hand brushes against yours. You feel the tell-tale nudge of an Alderanian palm sleight of hand technique, and as she pulls her hand back she winks at you one more time and there’s a clone card, which is how you cheat at Sabacc.

LAURA: Yeah!

NICK: It’s a card that’s basically a wild that you’re not allowed to use and can get your ass shot if you use one.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughs)

NICK: So, you get a blue die to your roll because your waitress friend has helped you out. That’s what the blue die was.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: She backs up real quickly, and Kettle is looking at her own cards and does not notice.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: Yeah, so, go ahead and roll one more time. Did you upgrade Kettle’s?

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Cool.

CAMERON: Kettle got one success.

LAURA: Um, a triumph with its success, another success, and one threat.

NICK: Okay. You win pretty handily. The threat is, you feel like there were some moves that Kettle could’ve done that looked like really obvious newbie mistakes that would have made it a lot closer, that she made that make you start to feel like maybe this was on purpose.

LAURA: Oh no.

NICK: But yeah. The whole big pile, the little garage door on the table opens up, and you just hear a little high pitched machine whining as if little tires are pushing against this big pile of stuff, and the Chadra-fan looks embarrassed and pulls like a craps hook and pulls the stuff out towards you on the table while the mouse droid bumps against the craps hook trying to push the stuff towards you.

LAURA: Aw.

NICK: You end up with 1,000 credits, that’s just your winnings. Whatever you have now is 1,000. Sabos and Tink, you get the 1,000 part of the money back, so you didn’t lose that ante. You get that back. Out of the hundred that you guys anted, Tink gets 10 credits, Sabos gets 15. You guys didn’t do great at cards. Out of the 100 you anted you get that amount back. Xianna’s in the money, apparently, so that’s cool. You also get the Rancore Protocol, your code cylinder back, and you get a little piece of flimsy that says IOU signed by Kettle.

CAMERON: I’m gonna grab the cylinder again.

NICK: Kettle sits back and goes, “Wow. It looks like now I owe you a favor.” And that’s where we’re gonna end the episode.

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Popcorn is essential for any entertainment viewing, but it’s especially important if you’re watching an underground fight match. Xianna acquires a bucket of popcorn in Episode 21 to snack on while Tink fights a Wookiee.

This Curry-Carrot Popcorn recipe is perfect for all your death match needs.

Close-up shot of popcorn
Underground Fighting Ring Popcorn

Underground Fighting Ring Popcorn is simply popcorn popped in coconut oil that’s then tossed in carrot powder, curry powder, and salt.

ingredients for the popcorn measured out
The ingredients.

So let’s start with the weirdest component of this recipe: the carrot powder. It’s made by taking dehydrated or freeze-dried carrots and putting them in a spice or coffee grinder until they’ve become a fine powder. If you can’t find dried carrots substitute it with extra curry powder and a small sprinkle of sugar.

dehydrated carrots in a spice grinder
Dehydrated carrots pre-grind.
carrot powder in a spice grinder
The finished carrot powder.

Next, the curry powder. Storebought curry powders are perfectly fine, but homemade curry powder will pack a bunch of extra flavor. Ours combines coriander, cumin, fenugreek, black pepper, cinnamon, cardamom, arbol chilis, turmeric, ginger, and salt. Fenugreek seeds can be found at most Indian grocery stores, but you can substitute mustard seeds if you can’t find them. You can find our recipe after the main popcorn recipe.

the ingredients of the curry powder in a spice grinder
Curry powder pre-grind.
carrot powder, curry powder, and salt in a bowl
The carrot powder, curry powder, and salt.

For the main event, you’ll heat up coconut oil and 3 kernels in a large saucepan or wok. Once those 3 kernels have popped you know your oil is hot enough. Add the rest of the kernels and cover with a lid. Make sure to shake the pan once the kernels begin popping to prevent burning.

oil and 3 kernels in a wok
The 3 test kernels.
2 popped kernels
The popped test kernels. One managed to escape.
remaining popcorn kernels added to the pan
The remaining kernels.

Once the popping slows to 5 or more seconds between pops remove the pan from the heat. Be careful when removing the lid, sometimes a rogue kernel decides to pop a bit late.

popped popcorn in pan
The popped corn.
popcorn with the spices added
With the spices added.

Pour the popcorn into a large bowl or container with a lid and immediately toss with the curry powder, carrot powder, and salt.

finished popcorn in a movie theater style popcorn container
Finished product. Fun popcorn container optional.

Underground Fighting Ring Popcorn

4 tablespoons coconut oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1-2 tablespoons curry powder, store bought or homemade (recipe below)
2 tablespoons carrot powder
1 teaspoon salt

Heat the coconut oil in a large heavy saucepan or wok on medium-high heat. Allow the oil to melt.

Add 3 popcorn kernels into the oil. Once all 3 kernels pop add the remaining kernels. Cover the pot immediately.

Once the kernels begin to pop gently shake the pan back and forth to prevent burning.

When the popping slows to 5 or more seconds between pops, remove the pan from the heat.

Pour the popcorn into a large bowl. Immediately toss with the curry powder, carrot powder, and salt.

Curry Powder

2 Tbsp coriander seeds
1 Tbsp cumin seeds
2 tsp fenugreek seeds (or mustard seeds)
1/2 tsp black peppercorns
1 stick cinnamon
1 tsp cardamom seeds
1-2 arbol chilis, deseeded
1 Tbsp ground turmeric
2 tsp ground ginger
3/4 tsp salt

Place the coriander seeds, cumin seeds, fenugreek seeds (or mustard seeds), black peppercorns, cinnamon, cardamom seeds, and arbol chilis in a spice grinder. Grind until fine.

Add the tumeric, ginger, and salt. Grind for 2-3 seconds to combine.

finished popcorn in a movie theater style popcorn container

Word document download: Episode 9 The Wonderful Oracle of Ithor- Tabletop Squadron

PDF download: Episode 9 The Wonderful Oracle of Ithor

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 9:
The Wonderful Oracle of Ithor

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – When voicing Ithorians, Nick uses an incredibly low, deep, drawn out voice and often pauses in the middle of sentences.

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Not a lot of announcements this week, but I would be remised if I didn’t mention that we’re pretty close to our next review goal. If you write us a review, even a short one, you can help new listeners find the show. When we get to 20 reviews we’ll release a flashback with Karma’s family. It’s a fun adventure, and we’ll release it on off-week so you’ll get double the Tabletop Squadron.

Thanks for reviewing, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy.

##

NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 9 of Tabletop Squadron! I am your host, Nick. I just realized I probably didn’t introduce myself in the last episode, but oh well. I’m Nick. You’re on Episode 9, you should know it by now. We’re gonna go around the table, and also things that you know, we’re going to introduce you to the people that are playing and their characters. We’re gonna start with… Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I’m Cameron. I’m playing Karma Nailo the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Great. Good work. Now we’re gonna go to… Steven.

STEVEN: Hi podcasty friends. I’m Steven. I’m playing Sabos the Togruta who isn’t dead.

NICK: Fantastic, and now we’re gonna go to… Hudson.

HUDSON: Oh hi. I’m Hudson. I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer. (dramatically)

NICK & CAMERON: Whoa~!

STEVEN: Slicey, slicey.

NICK: And, last but not least, we’ve got… Laura.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Great.

LAURA: Yep.

NICK: Sweet! Before we get started, let’s do the Destiny Roll!

LAURA: Two light side!

CAMERON: Yas.

HUDSON: One dark side.

NICK: Listeners at home, please keep track of how many times Hudson’s rolled dark side, because I’m pretty sure it’s most of it.

HUDSON: Most of it times.

CAMERON: Two light side!

STEVEN: One dark side.

CAMERON: A few episodes ago Hudson and Laura rolled light sides and me and Steven rolled dark sides.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: There was like five or six.

NICK: I didn’t say every time.

CAMERON: I know, I’m just saying there’s at least one recorded incident of him rolling a light side.

LAURA: We’re just saying your theory is bad and you should feel bad.

NICK: Okay great, thank you for that wonderful and constructive feedback, Laura. I appreciate it.

(giggles)

STEVEN: It wasn’t Laura, it was the Mask.

NICK: Alright. What does that bring our total score to?

CAMERON: Four light side, two dark side.

NICK: Awesome. Alright. When we last left off you were in space. You were going to deliver an item to the Oracle of the Ithorian people. They unfortunately are surrounded by a blockade, so you’re gonna have to deal with that. We are going to open on the ship coming out of hyperspace. We have a nice starry scene, and then the (whooshing noises) as the ship drops out and is there, and then the camera jumps into the cockpit where… Who is flying right now?

LAURA & CAMERON: Probably Karma.

NICK: Yeah. So, it drops to Karma flipping a bunch of switches. Ahead of you, you see the planet of Ithor which is a very beautiful, green planet. It has two small oceans on it, but a majority of it appears to be lush jungle and verdant life. In between you and that planet is a very large Imperial fleet. There are four Star Destroyers and one Super Star Destroyer. How can you tell there’s a Super Star Destroyer, you ask? Because it’s twice as big as a normal, already ridiculously large Star Destroyer. It’s a very big ship. They’re arranged around the planet in a geometric pattern. Basically any way that you would leave they’ve got a clear shot. Yeah, so as you pull out of hyperspace you have a couple of minutes as you pull closer to the ship. Is there anything last minute you all want to do?

CAMERON: “Alright. Plan wise… I think Xianna should be the one who talks.”

LAURA: “Um, but…”

HUDSON: “I’ve been working on my cockney accent.”

STEVEN: “Is Xianna George?”

LAURA: “Yes, uh, so Sabos was actually right, um… I am not a man.”

CAMERON: “No, like, he has an earpiece, I assume. You have a com, right?”

STEVEN: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. You can talk into his com. He says the words, but you come up with the lies.”

LAURA: “Oh. Okie, I will make the lies. You just—Okay Sabos, I will say things and you just have to repeat them.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I don’t need lies. I’m an ambassador.”

LAURA: “No, you see, but—“

CAMERON: “No no no, you’re not anymore.”

LAURA: “We are not an ambassador. We are Petty Naval Officer… What was the—“

STEVEN: “Petty Navy Officer George Jetson.”

CAMERON: “George Jetson.” (laughs)

LAURA: “No, we are Petty Navy Officer George Jetson.”

STEVEN: “Representing Ambassador Sabos Niks, I got it.”

LAURA & CAMERON: “No, no, no no no.”

LAURA: “You see, also, we figured out you are wanted. Not that much—

STEVEN: “Ohh.”

LAURA: “But enough to where maybe Sabos Niks, whatever your name is, would come up in their records.”

STEVEN: “Mm.”

LAURA: “It’s kind of like, you know how I don’t use my name when we are out and about?”

CAMERON: “Yeah, don’t say your name.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I see, so I’m George Jetson.”

CAMERON: “Yes.”

LAURA: “You Are George Jetson, yes.”

STEVEN: “Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes, and I will be your mind, and I will tell you what to say, with your mouth. Okie?”

STEVEN: “This will be fine.”

NICK: If nobody says ‘Meet George Jetson’ I’m gonna get so mad.

STEVEN: I know. (laughs)

NICK: His boy, Elroy.

LAURA: No.

HUDSON: Jane, his wife!

LAURA: No!

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, so we just set up the com, and I—

NICK: You put an earpiece in so you can coach him through it?

LAURA: Yeah, and I just like sit in a different room. No, I’m probably just still sitting in the hot tub.

NICK: (laughs) Xianna has a favorite part of the ship.

LAURA: The hot tub… is great.

STEVEN: Are you Naut—No, not Nautolan. Are you a water creature? Or are you just all wrinkly by now?

LAURA: … I get out, for periods of time.

STEVEN: Oh, okay. She hasn’t just been sitting in the hot tub.

CAMERON: We’ve been traveling for like three days. She hasn’t been in the hot tub the entire time. (laughs)

LAURA: “I have not been in here for three days!”

STEVEN: “I’d imagine you could deal with that.”

CAMERON: “I could deal with that, yeah.”

LAURA: “I cannot. Ryloth is a desert.”

CAMERON: “I’ve been taking naps in the hot tub.”

LAURA: “That is why this is so much fun. There is not a lot of water on Ryloth. Mostly sand.”

STEVEN: “Do Nautolans breathe water?”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Oh, so you could just take a nap under the water.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, that’s what I was saying.”

STEVEN: “Oh, okay. Of course.” (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, you don’t want to be underneath the water in a hot tub. It’s very hot.”

CAMERON: “No, it’s fine.”

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: I actually don’t know how hot the water is…

STEVEN: Yeah. Was it even heated, or was it luke warm?

LAURA: No, I meant it as a hot hot tub, I just don’t know how hot the oceans are for Nautolans.

NICK: Okay. Time out.

CAMERON: I think the Glee Anselm’s land masses are tropical, so I would assume that parts of the oceans would be warm. I don’t know how deep in the oceans the Nautolans hang out, though.

NICK: They’re all over the place.

LAURA: Yeah, but like a warm ocean is still not 110 degrees Fahrenheit.

CAMERON: Yeah, still not quite hot tub. But it’s fine, it’s just a little warm.

NICK: I would imagine that a hot tub situation for a Nautolan is like a dry sauna situation for a human.

CAMERON: Yeah. We used to go to the volcanic jets all the time to… warm, ourselves, I don’t know. (giggles) It was the nifty place to hang out!

LAURA: All warm and bubbly. Nature’s Jacuzzi.

STEVEN: Because you’re cold blooded.

CAMERON: I don’t think we’re—No, we’re not cold blooded. No. I’m green, but I’m not a lizard.

NICK: Karma’s thinking about, ‘Why Did we go there?’

LAURA: To make out!

CAMERON: Yeah. It was the Hot place to be.

(groans and booing)

CAMERON: Ha ha ha.

(laughter)

NICK: Alright. You were drifting towards the planet under sub light drives. You get hailed.

CAMERON: I accept the hail.

NICK: Yeah. Good. A hologram, a little one in the middle of the dashboard pops up, it’s basically from the chest up. You see an older gentleman wearing this stupid navy hat that looks kind of like a sideways Burger King serving hat, and Imperial uniform obviously. He says, “This is The Vengeance paging Unknown Ship. What is your purpose here?”

LAURA: “Okie Sabos, tell them that you are a naval officer, that you are on personal leave, and you are reporting back on the planet surface for duty.”

STEVEN: “I am Petty Officer George Jetson, on personal leave, reporting back to the surface for duty.”

NICK: “Oh, wonderful. You’ll have to send your credentials over right away. We’re under a barricade as you can see.”

STEVEN: “I recall that as I left the surface of the planet on personal leave.”

(laughter)

NICK: “Good. You have passed the first test. This blockade has been here for months. It would be very strange if you did not know about it. Please send over your credentials now.”

STEVEN: “Sending now.” I make typing noises.

CAMERON: I hit the button that sends it.

NICK: There is an interminable pause of a couple minutes. The hologram turns off.

LAURA: “Well, they are not shooting us yet.”

NICK: Yeah, and you’re drifting closer. You can see that the ship’s guns are tracking you which is very intimidating because there are tons of them on the Super Star Destroyer which is the closest thing to you, and there’s also two other Star Destroyers in range, and your ship is quite small compared to these that are city sized. The hologram clicks back on. “Well, it’s an older code, but it checks out. What did you say your purpose was on entering the planet?”

STEVEN: “Reporting back to the surface for Imperial duty activities, sir, officer.”

NICK: “That’s very strange, because we don’t have a presence on the planet. We are staying on the—“

STEVEN: “Not that you know about.”

LAURA: (quietly) “Nope…”

CAMERON: (bursts out laughing)

NICK: “Are you implying that an Imperial Communications Officer on this Super Star Destroyer of Vengeance would not know where everyone is located?”

LAURA: While he’s saying that I’m like, “No no, tell them you are working with the ISB.”

STEVEN: “I’m sorry. I was doing activities with the IS… ISB. It’s been a long—It’s been a nice personal break.”

NICK: “Hmm… If you were with the ISB you’d be in the database. Stand by.” And the hologram turns off again.

STEVEN: “Indeed.”

LAURA: “Okie, so…”

STEVEN: “So, uh, slicer slicy slicy.”

(giggles)

HUDSON: I run over to the computer.

STEVEN: “Mr. Slicer, can you put me in the database? By me I mean George Jetson.”

HUDSON: I try to put George Jetson in the database.

NICK: Okay. You’re gonna put George Jetson in the ISB database.

HUDSON: Correct.

LAURA: I have to imagine that because so much of it is undercover work that they probably have very basic profiles.

NICK: Oh yeah.

LAURA: So it’s real easy to just import the same photo and a name, and like that’s all.

NICK: So, the actual getting him in, getting the database format is gonna be super easy. It’s getting into their network and dropping I in while this guy is searching it. That will be a Computers check, it’s going to be hard, and you’re still gonna have those two black dice. This is sort of becoming your specialty, dropping stuff into Star Destroyer networks.

CAMERON: I flipped a light side point to upgrade one of his greens.

LAURA & CAMERON: Yaaas.

LAURA: So, triumph with a success, two successes, and a threat.

NICK: So tons of successes.

CAMERON: Yeah, so three successes total, a triumph, and a threat.

NICK: Alright. How do you want to use your triumph?

HUDSON: Not only do I put him in the database, but suddenly he’s over the rank of the person who was on the hologram.

(laughter)

NICK: Okay. That’s good.

STEVEN: So Petty Officer is just the cover of George Jetson.

NICK: I’m gonna beat a dead horse here. That threat is you still haven’t noticed the signature, and you put it all over it but it’s like in the report. So, if there was some sort of inspector or special agent who was hunting you at some point, then this signature would be one of a long trail of Moriarty-like clues, but I’m sure that would never happen so I wouldn’t worry about it. Yeah, so the hologram clicks back on and the communications officer is sweating. You can see he’s pushed his hat back, tried to put it back, and his hair is kind of askew. “Oh, uh, Commander Jetson. My mistake.”

STEVEN: “Petty. Officer. Jetson.”

NICK: “Oh, y-yes, Petty Officer Jetson. I trust that this won’t need to be reported. I apologize for the delay, sir. If you will head down to the surface… Whatever you  need, just let me know, and apologies again.”

STEVEN: “I recommend this be handled with discretion as we land on the surface, if you know what I mean.”

NICK: “Oh, absolutely. We’ll mark you as a certified civilian vessel, of course, as is protocol, Petty Officer Jetson.” He winks into the hologram. “Is there anything else that I can do for you?”

STEVEN: “Nope.” Click.

NICK: You cut him off mid-word, and the hologram disappears.

LAURA: “You should have at least said thank you.”

STEVEN: (laughing) “Nope. Nope.”

CAMERON: “I feel like that’s not really a big thing in the Empire, though.”

LAURA: “Eh.”

STEVEN: “Good job, slicer.”

HUDSON: “Thank you.”

CAMERON: “Well done, Tink!”

STEVEN: “Mr. Slicer. May I call you mister?”

HUDSON: “I mean, this wasn’t like the hardest thing I’ve ever done or anything.”

(laughter)

STEVEN: “Good job, Tink.”

NICK: So, all the Star Destroyers, they stop weapons lock with the Afternoon Delight. The Super Star Destroyer, a chunk of the cannons seem to whip around in the opposite way as fast as possible like someone went and slapped a targeting officer in the back of the head, and you are able to head down to the planet.
Here’s the thing about Ithor… Nobody lives on the surface, really. Ooh, let’s get Xenology checks.

LAURA: I have Underworld.

NICK: Nope. This is the opposite of that.

CAMERON: What is the difficulty of the check?

NICK: Average. (musically) Who knows about Ithor~?

HUDSON: I know about ether.

NICK: Not that. Not that.

STEVEN: I know about Ithor.

NICK: What did you get?

STEVEN: A success and two threats.

NICK: Mm, okay.

LAURA: I got one failure, but two advantages.

CAMERON: A success and two threats.

STEVEN: Yeaaah.

HUDSON: Three advantages.

NICK: So, with the successes: The Ithorians value the Mother Jungle kind of as their god. They worship nature, and plants, and animals, and their ecosystem, and as such they don’t live on the planet; they live on massive floating cities above the planet. Sometimes they do take a pilgrimage down to the planet, but anyone who goes to live on the planet doesn’t come back – not like they died, like they just live there now, because once you become one with the planet you can’t leave. The only people who can take pilgrimages down to the planet and return are the Oracle, which is why they’re important, they can check with people.
So, as you are relaying this information, you break down through the clouds and you see a large floating city. It is made mostly of white steel and is very pretty, and has tree lined boulevards and is very open and airy, and you see Ithorians walking around which are those weird hammerhead-looking slug alien guys from, you know, the Star Wars. You are immediately given clearance to land, and you already knew as you were coming in some of the information that you got from Sentinel which was which floating city the Oracle was on and general directions of where you were going, so you’re able to land very quickly. They actually put you on a priority landing pad, and as you land you can see that there are several Ithorians standing by, and you are on the planet, sort of.

CAMERON: Nice.

LAURA: “Okie. So, somebody is going to have to wear some sort—It’s probably going to have to be Karma.”

CAMERON: “Hmm?”

LAURA: “You should probably wear some sort of fancy cape, cloak, thing that covers your face so that maybe it looks like we actually have a human aboard, because I do not think Tink could ever pass for human.”

HUDSON: “You haven’t seen me shaved.”

(laughter)

LAURA: “True. I have not.”

HUDSON: “We don’t have the time or the tools, thankfully.”

LAURA: “Sabos’s montrals things would be too pointy.”

STEVEN: I try to flatten them down.

CAMERON: They just pop right back up.

LAURA: Yeah. I don’t know how mobile they are, but I think they’re pretty rigid.

CAMERON: He definitely doesn’t make it flat, but he can like bend the tips a little bit.”

STEVEN: “What if I push them like towards–No? Hmm.”

LAURA: “I think I am a little too short. Just a little.”

CAMERON: “Okay. Now that we’re down here why do we need to be human?”

LAURA: “Because if they have any surveillance, or if any of these Ithorians were told we were Imperials?”

CAMERON: “I don’t know if I can pass as male though.”

LAURA: “Well no, no, we just pull the hood down and we get very fancy cloaks and capes.”

CAMERON: “Oh yeah, from our costume closet.”

LAURA: “And they will be so impressed by the cape, and that is how they would know you are important, because of the fancy cape.”

CAMERON: (giggles) “Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: To be fair, that is basically how Star Wars works.

CAMERON: “Yeah. If I pull it down far enough so you just see darkness and chin shadow it’s not obvious I’m green.”

LAURA: “Yes. Just do not let them see your face, and if you keep the cloak, you know, mostly together in the front they will not see that, you know, you have boobs.”

CAMERON: “Okay.” I go to the costume closet and I whip out one of those capes we have!

NICK: So, you all have one full costume change and some accessories that you can use from a triumph a few episodes ago, so yeah, there is a very nice Imperial style cape with hood.

CAMERON: Nice.

NICK: What does it look like?

CAMERON: So it’s gotta be black… but it’s more ornate, because they’re normally just very boring, but it has really nice embroidery along the edges, like silver embroidery, or no, gold, it has to be gold. Gold is my color scheme. It has gold embroidery all along the edges of it.

NICK: Okay. Does it have an Imperial logo brooch that holds the front?

CAMERON: Nope.

NICK: It’s just a plain cape?

CAMERON: Mm-hmm.

NICK: Okay, with gold embroidery.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Alright. You get one of those. It hides you. It’s a very big hood. Imagine the one that Padme wears when she’s trying to be sneaky, and you’re able to wrap up in it, and it sconces you quite well. It will be difficult to tell much about you, except that you’re wearing pretty nice combat armor.

CAMERON: As I’m walking out of our costume closet I start swooshing around all the corners with my cape feeling very self-important.

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: Great. Yes. You get +1 to self-importance.

CAMERON: Awesome!

NICK: Make sure you mark that down. That is an important stat.

CAMERON: A blue die on all self-importance checks.

NICK: Yes. Is anyone doing anything else to prepare, or are you all rolling out?

STEVEN: What do Ithorians wear?

NICK: Mostly like mechanic jumpsuits. Nothing too fancy. They have weird kind of hunched bodies that seem way too small because they’re mostly head, so they wear a lot of single colors with utility belts and things like that. I think they have two fingers and a thumb.

LAURA: I think so.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’s not nearly Ranbo enough for me. I’m gonna keep on my current outfit.

NICK: Okay. What are you wearing? I don’t remember.

CAMERON: Oh, you’ve got like a vest with no shirt underneath.

STEVEN: Yeah, it’s like a leather vest with no shirt.

NICK: Oh yeah. Now I remember. Great.

LAURA: Yeah, because you have padded armor…

STEVEN: Yes.

LAURA: Are you wearing that?

STEVEN: No.

LAURA: Okay.

CAMERON: Why not?

STEVEN: (laughs) Well, not on the ship. Sometimes, when we get off the ship, I have a nice padded vest.

NICK: You have some sort of weird ballistics property under-vest that you wear in dangerous situations.

STEVEN: Yeah.

LAURA: With a vest over it.

STEVEN: With an over-vest.

NICK: Of course. It’s the Osaronian style… to wear… Great.

STEVEN: I am the Osaronian style. I mean, yes, it’s the Osaronian style.

NICK: (laughs) I’m starting to think that Sabos is the only person who lives on that planet.

STEVEN: There’s a couple others. (laughs)

NICK: Alright. You head down the ramp. Do you come down in a specific order or in any way tactically?

LAURA: “Okie. Karma goes first. She is in charge. She is the human. She goes first. The rest of us, as dirty, dirty aliens go next, because you see the Imperials would never have non-humans in front. They do not like the non-humans. So, Sabos and I will go in the middle, and then Tink goes in the back because it is more likely he would be some sort of hired mercenary and therefore would be taking up the rear.”

CAMERON: “Do we want to take the Stone Breaker with us now?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

STEVEN: “I feel like you have ample place to hide it in your coat.”

CAMERON: How big is it? It was a crate?

NICK: It’s a crate.

STEVEN: Oh yeah.

NICK: We’re gonna have to flash back real quick to you all opening the quite large crate.

STEVEN: (rewinding noises)

NICK: The Stone Breaker appears to be made of some sort of stone.

SEVERAL: Whaaat?!

NICK: Yeah. It weighs about 20 pounds. It is about 18 inches long, and 8 inches wide, so it’s like an oversized iPad kind of situation. It’s made out of, kind of a granite, about 3 inches thick, and it looks like a solid piece of kind of a beige stone, but when you pull it out of the case it has a lot of cover and padding and stuff. If you touch it in different spots different parts seem to light up. The stone can turn semi-translucent and there’s some sort of screen interface, but it’s in a bunch of symbols you don’t really recognize.

LAURA: “Just put it back in the box. Sabos, you hold the box.”

NICK: The box is like really big. It’s like three feet wide.

LAURA: Would there be somewhere in the Afternoon Delight a smaller box that would fit it or even some sort of wrapping to cover it up?

STEVEN: I’ll put it in my padded vest.

LAURA & CAMERON: Uh, no…

LAURA: Yeah. Would there be any sort of like wrapping paper, or like brown paper, or a small box or bag?

NICK: Yeah, you can find something. It’s not gonna be super resilient, but you could put it in something. Sabos, if you’re the one carrying it, what are you gonna put it in?

STEVEN: I’m gonna put it in my padded vest.

NICK: So you’re gonna like zip your vest up and put it just between that and your skin?

STEVEN: Yes.

LAURA: Yeah, Xianna wasn’t looking so much for protective cover, just something to cover it so if we get caught on cameras you can’t see exactly what we have.

NICK: Does the padded vest have some sort of like kangaroo pouch in it that you can put stuff?

STEVEN: Just in between the vest and the skin, because the other vest is pretty tight.

CAMERON: It’s just holding it there.

NICK: Okay. Yeah. So you’re just gonna flex your abs 100% of the time and hold it in place?

STEVEN: Oh, I don’t have to flex to hold it.

NICK: Okay. (laughs)

LAURA: “Why can’t you just hold it like a normal person?”

STEVEN: “I don’t want it to be seen.”

LAURA: “But it does not matter. It almost looks better if you are holding something, because then it looks like you are some sort of errand boy.”

STEVEN: “Hmm…”

NICK: This conversation’s happening while Sabos has it like half jammed down his armor.

STEVEN: Yeah, no I start thinking about it.

LAURA: “Okie. This makes sense in my mind. You see, Karma is the human, she goes in front.”

STEVEN: “George Jetson.”

LAURA: “Then I go. They will probably just assume I am some sort of dancer, mistress-type person as a Twi’lek. Again, they are very xenophobic.”

STEVEN: “Yes.”

LAURA: “You, if you are holding something and you have the weird vest, they will assume you are some sort of hired messenger or errand boy who is just there to deliver packages or something. You are the hired help.”

STEVEN: “Ah, yes. There was once a nice tale on Shili about the four tailed—“

LAURA: “Okie, so never mind.”

CAMERON: “Oh god.”

STEVEN: “—Togruta that could weave their head tails into a basket with twine.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “And then Tink, being in the back and being quite large, will be the mercenary, the hired gun, that is how it is going to look. It is going to work. Trust me.”

STEVEN: “Fine.”

HUDSON: “I don’t look that scary, do I? Do I?”

LAURA: “Well, not to us because we know you, but to them you are a very, very large creature with a gigantic axe.”

HUDSON: “Oh, I should hold my axe?”

LAURA: “No no no, keep the axe on the back.”

CAMERON: “Just the fact that you have it.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Sure that’s scary enough? Okay.”

LAURA: “Yes. The giant is scary enough.”

HUDSON: “You got it.”

CAMERON: “We don’t wanna necessarily scare the Ithorians.”

STEVEN: “I’ll just carry the bag.”

CAMERON: “You’re mostly scaring in case of video cameras.”

HUDSON: “Got it.”

CAMERON: “And the assumptions that the Empire will make based on those.”

HUDSON: “I see.”

NICK: Okay, so, in that order. You got a bag.

STEVEN: Yeah.

NICK: It’s just—There’s a baguette sticking out of it.

CAMERON: Messenger bag.

NICK: No, uh…

HUDSON: Messenger baguette?

STEVEN: A messenger baguette.

NICK: Okay. You have a messenger bag with the Stone Breaker in it. Like I said, it’s surprisingly heavy for its size, but it should be fine, shouldn’t get in the way. You head down the ramp, and there are two Ithorians standing off of the landing pad. They turn and regard you quietly for a minute, and one of them raises its hand and slowly waves, like if a sloth was saying hello.

LAURA: Xianna quickly waves back.

NICK: It like does a catching gesture, and like puts it in its pocket.

LAURA: Xianna winks at him.

NICK: You can’t really tell if it’s winking because it’s eyes are so far apart and you can only see one at a time. (laughter) It might be blinking. It’s hard to tell.
So, do you approach the Ithorians?

CAMERON: Yep.

STEVEN: Yeah.

NICK: Okay. As you get there the Ithorian says, “Welcome to Ithor.”

LAURA: Before Karma says anything, Xianna is going to run in front of her, put an ear to her face, and kind of pretend like she is getting something whispered to her, and then turn around like very non-authoritatively turn around and be like, “Oh, hello. I will be talking for, uh, him.”

NICK: “Yes. We saw you break the blockade. Nobody has come to the planet. Is that an Imperial?” It’s very hard to read their facial expressions because their faces are flat and their eyes are far apart, but it does seem to be scrutinizing the group very closely.

CAMERON: Karma nudges Xianna like through the cape, just sticks her arm out. Xianna leans back in. I whisper, “Tell them something,” and then just like wave back. (giggles) And now she has to say something.

LAURA: “Um, yes, yes, um, he is with the Galactic Empire. Um, we would like to see the Oracle.”

NICK: “Well, clearly if you are finally issuing demands, the Oracle would speak with you. This way, please.”

LAURA: “Thank you.”

NICK: The Ithorian turns around and moves actually pretty quickly down the road. You see that there’s a big old main thoroughfare, and a lot of different kinds of buildings and roads and neighborhoods. This is a full city floating about a mile above the jungle, and occasionally tropical birds and things will fly by, and they’re roosting places. The landing pad is towards the edge, and you can see some very colorful birds with what look like antennas sticking out of their heads, and by antennas I mean like mechanical antennas because that’s a thing in Star Wars. Birds with mechanical antennas, look it up.

LAURA: Yep.

NICK: They’re pecking at each other, and they dive straight down off the side toward the jungle. So, that’s going on. In the distance you see, it’s like one long, low building that seems to take up a pretty good amount of this main thoroughfare, so it’s half way through the city, and it doesn’t open up into a square, the road just leads straight into some sort of covered pavilion-type thing that looks like it’s maybe a quarter of a mile wide in any given direction. He starts leading you that way, and he gestures at you. His arm gestures are very slow and waving, but his legs are moving pretty quick, and he’s moving along at a good pace.

CAMERON: I look pretty badass walking in my cape.

LAURA: It swooshes a lot.

CAMERON: It’s very swooshy, and billowy.

NICK: We get a lot of camera shots from like real low of different parts of the city with the cape brushing past it. Do you get your boots to click authoritatively as you walk?

CAMERON: Oh yeah. They do that, yeah.

NICK: Oh, they do that anyway?

CAMERON: Well, except for when I’m trying to be sneaky.

NICK: … Okay.

CAMERON: I’m not trying to be sneaky right now, so I’m being loud.

NICK: Yeah. So, there’s the ‘I’m important’ boot click, and we get camera shots of the cape flying by, and we get camera shots of the crew of the Afternoon Delight all walking except then it’ll like zoom in on the cape and play like brass hits of (Dun-dun-DUH).
Yeah, so you make it through the city without any sort of issues, and the Ithorian says, “Continue this way to the Oracle’s receiving room.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: And he stops.

LAURA: “And, we keep going.”

NICK: Great. As you go inside, it’s basically the Oracle’s pavilion. There’s a lot of life inside here. It’s been a pretty normal city, but in here it’s kind of like an arboretum. It’s got a lot of different trees, and you can see stuff clustered by region, and there’s some small animals. You don’t really get any good looks at them, but you see some rodents and things darting in and out, and there’s more of those tropical birds swinging by, and they like to peck at each other and fly off and they’re chasing each other. As you continue through, there is a… it kind of looks like a tent if you wove a tent out of trees and then lined the inside with Japanese paper, like the Japanese paper walls. It’s an interlocked, upside down basket of that, and it’s open in the front. It looks like the doors have been pushed open, and you see an Ithorian sitting there in a simple woven tunic and some pants, and it’s got it’s legs crossed, and it appears to be meditating as you arrive. As you get there it opens its eyes and says, “Outsiders. How interesting. I am the Oracle. Who… are you?”

LAURA: “Oh, um, I think we are supposed to be delivering something, and… (hesitantly) the light will never go out in the universe.”

NICK: The Ithorian sits up real straight. “Interesting. Interesting indeed. I thought that the Empire had finally decided to tell us why it is killing the Mother Jungle, and instead… I find a friend, from Sentinel. Strange. What do you have for me? I’m going to continue to talk at weird intervals.”

(laughter)

LAURA: You can see Xianna like every time he pauses like, perks up a little bit and then stop, like oh, no, oh—okay. She points at Sabos and waves him over. “Um, we have this.”

STEVEN: I just present.

LAURA: “Well, take the bag off first!”

STEVEN: “Oh, oh, right.” I still lay it flat and just slide the bag off as I’m holding it.

NICK: The Oracle chuckles to himself and takes the pad, rock, Stone Breaker, and turns it over, and as it’s fingers touch at different points it starts to light up a little bit. The Oracle says, “Oh… The Sentinel has brought us a valuable… gift indeed. Thank you… for delivering it. I must ask… that you do not tell anyone… that we have it. It will be important… that we keep this….. a secret.”

(giggles)

LAURA: “Yes, yes, secrets.”

CAMERON: “Of course.”

LAURA: “Secrets are good. Yes. Obviously. Okie, I guess we will be going now. Uh… Have a good day?”

NICK: “If there’s anything… we can do for you… please… do not hesitate… to ask.”

LAURA: “Um. Completely unrelated.” I just point at him. “He wanted to go to a specific bar but he does not know where it is, but it was recommended to us. Do you happen to know where The Gooberfish is?”

NICK: “Ah… The Gooberfish… A wonderful establishment… It serves off-worlders, so I believe it is in financial difficulties as we are in a blockade.”

LAURA: “Mm, yes.”

NICK: “If you return… to whence you came… it will be on the right.” And, there’s a much longer awkward scene that we’ll fast forward through because we’re not the jerks that stop watching this movie. There’s some directions given out. It’s basically off the main road. It’s not too bad.

CAMERON: I had another question. “Is there a good place to get medical attention for my friend?” I gesture very billowingly with the cape, keeping my green covered, toward Sabos.

STEVEN: (through coughing) “Yeah, the walking, so…”

LAURA: “Oh yes. I forgot about that. You are so injured.”

(laughter)

NICK: With the amount of time you spent on the ship you have healed a little but you’re still in pretty bad shape. The Oracle says, “Oh… Conflict has found you like it… has found us. If you will wait… I will have someone… come to you.” The Oracle stands up very slowly and stretches, and the crazy thing about Ithorians is when it stretches his whole neck expands out like a bullfrog, really far, and you can see these black strips on either side that you can kind of see through his neck. There’s a creaking of muscles, and the arboretum area seems to fall quiet for a minute, and then he collapses back into his little body and big head and then walks off rather quickly, and you are left alone in the Oracle’s pavilion for a minute.

STEVEN: I’ll wait.

NICK: Was there anything you wanted to do while he was gone? You wanna just wait until he gets back?

LAURA: We just wait.

CAMERON: Yeah. I scratch my face.

NICK: Sounds good. The Oracle comes back with a smaller Ithorian. It’s really hard to tell if they’re male or female, but this one looks like it might be female, because it’s got like a pretty teal jumpsuit on, and it says, “Please, step this way,” and there’s a bush that the woody parts of the inside of the bush have been shaped kind of like a chair, and she has you sit down, and she starts to stitch at you. You guys feel a lot of parallels to Falx’s office, because as he’s getting stitched up and she is liberally applying bacta everywhere, so that feels like the aloe gel that you would get for a sunburn so it’s very cold but you start to feel better. So, as she’s working on that, and Sabos is responding to that…

STEVEN: “Ah, yes, that’s better.” (coughing) “I mean, little, ah, yes.”

NICK: The Oracle turns to Tink and Xianna and Karma and says, “This blockade… I hope that… Sentinel has sent you for a reason… as… it is killing us… quite quickly. We are being crushed, we are unable to trade, and as food… becomes more scarce, the herdship is becoming more deserted as people head to the planet… It is great to become one with Mother Jungle, but… we cannot have the entire population leave the herdship.”

LAURA: “Um, we were just told to bring you this box thing, tablet, stone, yes. I don’t really know what you expect us to do about a blockade.”

CAMERON: “We will have to leave the planet, though, so perhaps Sentinel has some plan involved in that.”

NICK: “Well, I trust… that it will work out. Sentinel has helped us in the past… I hope that your trip to The Gooberfish is worth the journey.” The Oracle sits back down, crosses his legs, and takes up a meditative pose again. Around this time the younger Ithorian finishes up with Sabos and puts your vest back in place, and says, “That should be enough to get you on your way” and like slaps you on the shoulder, which hurts pretty bad.

STEVEN: (coughs) “Ow… Ow ow ow…”

NICK: Yeah. As you’re saying ow, she reaches for you feeling bad, and then pulls back because she knows if she touches you again it’ll hurt again, and then holds her wrist and says, “Well, sorry,” and runs off. Where are you guys going now?

CAMERON: What’s his health situation now?

NICK: Yeah, you’re good. Between the healing on the ship and the medical attention you’re at full health.

STEVEN: Wow.

LAURA: We leave and walk towards The Gooberfish, to do whatever we’re gonna do.

CAMERON: Yep. Keep my cape on. Keep up appearances.

NICK: Right. Okay.

STEVEN: Oh, I make sure to grab the bag so it doesn’t look like I dropped something at the Oracle.

NICK: Oh, smart. Great. As you head through town, it’s basically you go down the main pathway and it’s one street over, you see The Gooberfish which is a low, plain building but it does have a sign out front of the depiction of what looks kind of like a giant angler fish with big teeth. You assume it’s giant because there’s a little, tiny picture of an Ithorian also on the sign that is less than the size of one of the teeth. You go into the bar. There is pretty much no one in there. There is an Ithorian behind the bar who does the slow sloth wave as you come in, and sitting off in the corner you see one other person in the shadows. As you walk in, that person makes notice of you all you think because it sits up a little straighter, but you can’t really make out a lot of details, but they’re not an Ithorian, you can tell that.

LAURA: I kind of lean back and whisper to the group. “I think that may be our contact considering they are the only person here, so I think that maybe was what he meant by (Cameron joins) we will know them when we see them, (Cameron stops) because he is the only thing to see. Yes.”

NICK: So, as you were whispering you see that the shadowed person has stood up and is slowly inching towards a side door and like very suspiciously trying to…

LAURA: So, Xianna tells everyone else like, “Okie, stay here,” and then walks over to them and tries to walk over as politely as possible with like visible hands of, ‘hey, it’s just a Twi’lek, you can see my hands, I don’t have any weapons,’ that you know of, but you know.

NICK: Yeah. So, as you get closer, the figure stops for a second and gives you very obviously skeezy elevator eyes…

CAMERON: Ew.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Everyone in the bar hears him say, “You know, uh, I kinda got a thing for tentacles,” and then—

CAMERON: Oh shit.

LAURA:  “Do not say tentacles, they are leku. Tentacles is a little offensive. You can call—No, never mind. Never mind. Forget what I was going to say.”

(laughter)

STEVEN: I shake my head.

LAURA: “Anyways. Does the phrase ‘the light will never go out in the universe’ mean anything to you?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah, but I never expected to hear that from someone body guarding an Imperial. What the heck is going on?”

LAURA: (smiling) “Oh, do not worry about them, they are fine.”

NICK: “If-If you say so…”

LAURA: “That is just for appearances. Do not worry.”

NICK: “This is getting real weird.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “I walk closer, but I keep my hood up until I can see who he is.”

NICK: Yeah. You see a Selonian, which is like a big otter-looking person, with kind of like a beer belly and some leather pants on.

LAURA: A dude Selonian?

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA & STEVEN: Ooh.

NICK: But he’s like kinda skeezy, he’s got some bald patches, and he’s wearing a leather jacket.

LAURA: Oh, that’s why they kicked him off.

STEVEN: Oh, I walk over because I notice that he is also a dude, and wearing a leather jacket.

NICK: (laughs) Yeah. Karma, you would recognize him as Felton Mox, the bounty that you took in during your first trip to Corellia in quite a long time, that you dropped off at Sentinel’s base on your way in. he looks to be in much better shape. He isn’t shot, so that’s good, but he doesn’t recognize that you are in the cloak.

CAMERON: Underneath my cloak I’m gonna take his heavy pistol and put it in my bag.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: “So, do you want to buy us drinks?”

NICK: “Uh…”

LAURA: And she winks a little bit, and she’s like, ‘ugh, this guy’s skeezy, but maybe we can get free stuff.’

NICK: “I, you know, normally being an informant people buy Me drinks, but yeah, I think I can make that happen,” and he walks past you. He gives the cloaked figure of Karma a wide birth because he still seems kind of nervous about an Imperial cloak, and he goes over to the bar and you hear him asking for beverages.
The Ithorian who is very incapable of speaking quietly says, “Beverages for your elicit meeting. Right away.” And he starts mixing drinks. Again, he moves very slowly getting situated, but once he plants his feet he starts putting stuff together pretty quickly.

LAURA: What are the driiinks?

NICK: The Ithorian is putting together kind of a mixed bag. You see several tall, thin glasses that have some sort of a bluish-greenish liquid in them, and then what looks like an Imperial ale which is like a straight beer, and—an Imperial stout.

LAURA: Imperial stout.

NICK & LAURA: Haaa.

NICK: And then there’s one copper mug that gets slapped down on the bar and has some sprig of some greenish, weird, curly plant sticking out of it, and the Ithorian says, “This should be… easy to decide… who enjoys the finer things in life.” Then he looks around, which takes up a lot of air space when something with heads this wide look around—

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: –and makes himself scarce back behind the bar.

CAMERON: So, as Xianna starts to walk towards the bar Karma grabs her and pulls her in closer to her hood. (whispering) “So, this guy was my mark for Sentinel, so I’ma gonna keep my hood up because I’m not sure how he’s gonna feel about me.”

LAURA: “Oh! Okie, because I was thinking maybe if we figured him trustworthy we would let him in on the secret, but… Okie, no, secret stays.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, we’ll see how he’s doing. Yeah.”

LAURA: “The secret stays. Okie.”

NICK: As that conversation wraps up real quick, Felton comes back and gestures towards a round table and the booth that he was sitting at and he drops the serving tray down. The drinks kind of clatter around. He says, “Three Ithorian Bellows, an Imperial Stout, and a Flame Out for the adventurous. Take your pick.”

STEVEN: “Would you consider colonizing another planet adventurous?” I just say to the group.

CAMERON: The hooded figure nods.

NICK: He kind of looks you up and down, grabs the copper mug and just slides it towards you. Then he looks at everyone else and says, “The Ithorian Bellows is a pretty mellow beverage. It’s good for having a long talk with people.” He sits down and he waits for you all to select your beverages.

LAURA: Xianna would take the Ithorian Bellows.

CAMERON: Same with Karma, because she realizes that one of them says Imperial on it, so she’s gonna grab the Bellows.

HUDSON: I grab one of the Ithorian Bellows.

NICK: Okay. Felton looks at you all very shiftily. It looks pretty comical on his little otter face. He grabs the Imperial Stout and goes, “You saw through my crafty rouse, I see. No one’s given themselves away yet,” and he takes a long pull on the drink.

STEVEN: I take a sip of mine and kind of look for what reaction he thinks I should have.

NICK: He’s got the bottle back and he appears to be chugging it, but you notice it’s not going down that fast, it’s mostly for show, but he opens one eye at you as you take a sip like eager to see what your response will be.

STEVEN: I respond in such a way that would warrant someone looking eagerly for a response.

NICK: What the fuck does that mean?

LAURA & CAMERON: What does that mean?!

(laughter)

LAURA: Also, do you remember what this drink tastes like?

STEVEN: Oh, I absolutely remember, yeah. No, yeah, so, you know, I’ve had a lot of these on Corellia back when I was ambassadorizing, and I’m quite fond of it, but everyone—or at least Felton—seems interested, so I react as if I don’t like it, set it down, and then pick it back up and drain it.

(laughter)

LAURA: That’s like a Constitution check!

NICK: As you cough and splutter, he sets the beer down and chuckles to himself. “Yeah, those are pretty hard to—Oh.” As you just knock the whole cup back. It tastes like pepper’s angry, drunk cousin tried to strangle your uvula on the way down is basically what a Flame Out tastes like. Yeah, the Flame Out’s a pretty rough drink, but you like them and you’re used to them. So, as you do that, “Wow, oh, okay.”

STEVEN: (chuckles)

NICK: So you’re in the horseshoe booth sitting and he has the one chair and he skootches it toward the door a little bit and looks a little anxious. “So, you knew the passphrase… You’re from Sentinel, huh?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: The hood nods.

NICK: “He said, uh, if I gave you this information that he’d let me off scot-free, got me away from CorSec. If I hadn’t gotten shot it would’ve been a really good deal. I’m, uh, not 100% sure why I got shot. It seemed pretty unnecessary. The person who did—You know, bounty hunters, I’m just not a big fan of them.”

LAURA: “Yes. They are terrible. Just, all of them, every single one of them, just terrible.”

HUDSON: I cackle.

CAMERON: The hood nods.

STEVEN: “Yup.”

NICK: “So, Sentinel said that you would have most of the tools you need but I was to give you two more, and that is… I lost one of them, but I have the other one!” And he takes—

LAURA: “Wait, wait, what?!”

NICK: “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine!” He takes a plasteel box, it’s gray and looks kind of like a Chinese take-out container, it’s about a foot wide and a foot long, it’s like a square, and he sets it on the table and slides it to you very carefully and nervously. “Don’t, uh, open that until you’re in position, because it’s uh, not great, but…”

LAURA: “And, what was the thing that you lost?”

NICK: “Uhhh… I’m not sure. It was another box, um… but it’s gone now…”

LAURA: Xianna’s sitting there and is suddenly like, ‘Ohh, I had a box. Karma probably had a box.’ This is what Xianna’s thinking. So, Xianna’s gonna like drop it and just be like, ‘oh, never mind,’ because in her head she’s like ‘I had to go get a box, and if Karma took him in he probably had the box so she took it, so it’s okay, Sentinel has the box.’ That’s what’s going through her head. So, she’s like, “Oh, okie. It’s fine. Okie. I’m sure we will make do.”

NICK: “Yeah, so, totally didn’t lose it gambling. Uh…”

LAURA: He says that and Xianna’s like, ‘oh, wait… oh no.’

CAMERON: ‘My plan has a hole in it.

NICK: “Here’s the deal. This is a special kind of weapon and Sentinel wants you to break the blockade. This weapon is powerful enough to take down a Super Star Destroyer if you can get onboard. That’s all I know. My job was to get the weapon to whoever told me the light of the universe would never go out.”

LAURA: “Okie. Thank you.”

CAMERON: How are we seated in this booth?

LAURA: I imagine that Xianna took lead and got in next to him, and then…

CAMERON: I probably have an edge spot, because scooting in my cape wouldn’t have been the best.

LAURA: I imagine it would be, like from one end of the horseshoe to the other, it would have been like Karma, a wide space, Felton, then Xianna, then Sabos, and then Tink, guessing that Tink would have a harder time fitting in, and he probably doesn’t slide well just being all fuzzy. Probably a lot of friction.

HUDSON: I don’t. I just cause static on myself.

NICK: I can imagine if you sit on your hair and try to scoot you’re just pulling all your hair. That couldn’t be fun.

SEVERAL: Yeah.

NICK: Booths were not designed for Gigorans.

CAMERON: So, I’m just gonna go into my hood. I’m wearing gloves now so my green doesn’t show if I put my hand up. I’m gonna whisper into my com links so they can hear me, because none of them are close enough to pull over to me. (whispers) “Ask who he lost it in gambling to, because we may need to track them down.”

LAURA: “So, um, who were you playing in the gambling game?”

NICK: “Well, you know, it’s a little embarrassing. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done. She’s a pretty heavy hitter in this sector, but uh… Yeah, I may have lost your other tool that you need to, uh, the Queen. Maybe you’ve heard of her. She’s a gangster from Corellia. I mean, she’s not that big a deal.”

STEVEN: “Ah yes, the Queen.”

NICK: “Oh, you’re familiar?”

LAURA: “Um, I guess so, yes. It appears.”

STEVEN: “I used to play the cards as well.” (grinning)

NICK: “You know Kettle, the Queen of Corellia?”

STEVEN: “I know Kettle.”

NICK: “Well, more power to you, man. You can try and go get it back, but I didn’t have any deal with having to do with her.”

STEVEN: “Oh, I didn’t say nothing about trying to get it back from Kettle.”

LAURA: (nervously) “Okie. We take the box now. Thank you, so much, heh, thank you.”

NICK: “Great.” Can I get Perception checks from you all?

LAURA: Can do.

NICK: This will be an average Perception check.

HUDSON: One success.

CAMERON: Karma got two successes and an advantage.

LAURA: Three successes.

STEVEN: I got one success.

NICK: You all see that he’s pretty anxious to leave, and he also looks like he feels a little guilty about it, but he’s scared and trying to get around. It’s pretty easy for you all to interpret that he had further instructions he was supposed to do to help you all out and is just trying to get out of there with the bare minimum.

LAURA: When he does that Xianna’s gonna reach into her pocket, get her blaster, and like push it towards him through her coat so that he can like feel the blaster. “Um, you seem very quick to leave. Do you maybe have something to tell us?”

CAMERON: Karma stands up menacingly at the end of the booth and just lets her cape fall.

HUDSON: I start mean-mugging.

STEVEN: I say, “Hey buddy, you got anything else for us? It’d be a shame if Kettle had to hear about this.”

NICK: “Um… Wow. This—I thought we were having a friendly drink here.”

LAURA: “Well, we were, and then you decided to get all shifty.”

NICK: “Uh, I’m a Selonian. We do shifty. That’s like our thing.” … That’s not their thing.

STEVEN: I chuckle, because that’s… (laughs)

CAMERON: Because you don’t know species.

STEVEN: Right, because I’m a Togrutan. (laughs)

LAURA: “No, no, I dated a Selonian once. They were not very shifty.”

NICK: “Uh, well, okay. Part of my contract was that I’m supposed to help guide you until you leave the planet again, but you’re all very capable. You have an Imperial. You don’t need me. You should really just let me go. I’ve got things to do.”

HUDSON: “Everyone could use a helping hand.”

CAMERON: The hood tilts.

LAURA: “Guide in what way?”

NICK: “Uh, just help you find anything you need for your assault, uh, maybe inform him once the mission’s complete. I’m supposed to be like an observer type thing, but he’s got eyes everywhere. You should really just let me go. There’s really no reason for me to…”

CAMERON: The hood shakes it’s head.

LAURA: “Where do you live?”

NICK: “On Corellia…”

LAURA: “Where are you staying currently?”

NICK: (hesitantly) “Uh, why do you wanna know?”

LAURA: “In case we do need your help later on.”

NICK: So, he perks up a little bit at that, because it sounds like you’re going to let him out of your immediate eyesight, and he goes, “Oh, I’m right above The Gooberfish. You could find me if you needed me, but you won’t. You’re all very capable.”

CAMERON: I look over at Tink, and I’m like—

HUDSON: “You’re gonna help us out.” I hold my vibro-axe higher.

(laughter)

NICK: Can you roll me a Coercion, please?

HUDSON: Great. I can do that.

NICK: It’s gonna be easy, and you have two blue dice because everyone is backing you up.

CAMERON: Oh wow, your Willpower is one?

HUDSON: Wow. Two advantages.

NICK: Is there something that you would like to spend your advantages on specifically?

HUDSON: Look more intimidating.

NICK: That’s not how that works.

LAURA: Yeah, because this roll was to look intimidating.

HUDSON: Oh, sorry. This was Coercion.

NICK: You don’t intimidate him, but you can get something else tangential out of it, if you want.

HUDSON: Oh. The bartender brings me another drink to calm me down.

NICK: Nice. Okay. The bartender runs up with two. “You seem to be a big fellow.”

HUDSON: “I am.”

NICK: “Here’s another one, on the house… and another one… that you will pay for.” He sets them down. They’re Ithorian Bellows.

LAURA: Xianna is seeing Tink, and I imagine it’s something where like Tink tries to narrow his eyes but instead they look even more cute and round, so Xianna’s like, “Okie. So I know he is very cute and fluffy, but he is very large, and he has a gigantic axe as you can see.” She like head tilts at Sabos. “That one, I do not know what that one does. Apparently he knows Kettle. I don’t know. That seems to be important.”

STEVEN: This one’s crazy,” I say.

LAURA: “And, um, also…” She points over at Karma. “The Galactic Empire, so you know, maybe, also I have a gun… Maybe you should help us.”

NICK: “Ah. I thought you were just happy to see me. Heh, heh…”

LAURA: “No…”

STEVEN: I check my head tails really quickly.

LAURA: Xianna’s just kind of shaking her head. “No, you see, I would have to say that to you because I being a woman do not do the thing you are implying. You as a male can, so you see it has to be me to you.”

NICK: “Yeah I can. Wait—“

LAURA: “No. No.”

NICK: “Oh, yeah. Oh boy.” And Felton Mox looks right into the camera and says, “Well, Felton Mox, it looks like we’re in a whole bunch of trouble.” (groans and laughter) And that’s gonna be the end of the episode!

(all make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

The crew of the Afternoon Delight have eaten many cups of instant noodles. They’re tasty, perfect for spending days in hyperspace, and you can have original or spicy. They first appear in Episode 14 when Xianna makes a few cups for everyone.

While the following “recipe” isn’t as shelf stable as cup noodles and it isn’t quite as instant, but they’re much better tasting and still pretty fast.

“Recipe” is in quotations because what follows is less of a specific recipe and more of a set of guidelines. There’s a lot of ways to customize your specific noodles.

noodles and broth in a glass container. kettle in background.
A finished jar of *Almost* Instant Noodles.

These noodle cups can easily be stored in the fridge for a few days and handle being at room temperature for a few hours, which make them great for office lunches. You can even make them with all dry ingredients for shelf stable cups that should last at least a few weeks.

You’ll want a 16-ounce container that is heat-proof since you will be adding boiling water. Large mason jars or wide-mouth preserving jars work great.

Let’s start at the bottom with the soup base. You can use bouillon paste, a bouillon powder, or even powdered soup mix. If you want to use bouillon cubes you’ll want to smash them up a bit before adding. They dissolve better that way. You’ll want to use 1-2 servings of whatever soup base you use, depending on how strong you like your soup.

We’re using Better Than Bouillon paste in their Vegetable flavor and adding 3 teaspoons, about 1.5 servings worth.

Then you’ll want a “flavor boost”. Something to give your cup a little extra flavor and depth. This could be soy sauce, chili paste, miso, fish sauce, curry paste. Anything that will add something a little extra to the soup. You can even combine them. How much you add will depend on which you choose and personal taste. If you’re going completely shelf stable then omit the “flavor boost” and just add a bit more powered base.

four glass containers with various "soup bases" and "flavor boosts"
Soups bases and “Flavor Boosts”. Left to Right: Bouillon paste, miso, chili paste; Bouillon paste, chili paste; Bouillon paste, soy sauce; Bouillon paste, miso,.

Next, the vegetables. There’s a lot of options for this step. Kimchi is a great choice, carrots and peas are common in many noodle cups along with
dried shiitakes, freeze-dried vegetables are great, fresh or frozen edamame works, basically anything you can think of. You do want whatever you add to require minimal cooking, since they will only get a short soak in hot water. So raw onions may be a bad idea.

Now we’re at the strangest option: beef jerky. Since we want these sit in a fridge for a few days, at a desk for a few hours, or even on the shelf for a few weeks, raw meat is a bad idea. It also probably won’t be cooked by just a few minutes in hot water. But if you’re looking to add something meaty to your cups jerky is the way to go. It lasts for a long time, and when it reconstitutes in the water it softens up and gains a pleasantly chewy texture. You can even play around with what flavor you use. We used a “Hot & Spicy” jerky.

The four glass jars with various vegetables and jerky added.
The veggies and jerky. Left to Right: Jerky, dried shiitakes; kimchi; kimchi, dried shiitakes; jerky.

And now, we have come to the noodles. You can use precooked wheat noodles, such as udon, Lo Mein, or even spaghetti noodles. You can also use “fast-cooking” dried noodles, which are basically the noodles that come in ramen packages and commercial noodles cups without all the extras. Rice noodles are also a great option since most only take a few minutes to cook. There’s rice vermicelli, flat “pad thai” noodles, pho style noodles, and many more. The vermicelli styles can be rolled or folded into little nests that can fit into the jars. Long, straight noodles may have to be cut in half to fit into the container.

Finally we have green onions or chives. These add a little fresh pop that ties everything together. You can use fresh or the freeze-dried kind that you can often find in the produce section.

The four glass jars with various noodles added.
The noodles and green onions. Left to Right: dried vermicelli; cooked udon noodles; cooked udon noodles; fast-cooking ramen noodles.

Then, whenever you want your noodles, simple add boiling water, close the lid, and let sit for 3-5 minutes. Then, give it a good stir and you’re all set!

A noodles jar with boiling water added.
Boiling water added.
A noodle jar after it's 3-5 minute wait.
After 3-5 minutes. It’s noodle time!
A close up of the prepared noodle jar with noodles, jerky, and shiitakes.
Look at that soupy goodness.

Almost Instant Noodles
Per Container:

1-2 servings base (bouillon paste, bouillon powder, powder soup mix)
2-4 teaspoons flavor boost (soy sauce, chili paste, miso, fish sauce, curry paste)
Vegetables (kimchi, dried mushrooms, freeze-dried vegetables, diced, julienned, or small fresh vegetables)
Beef jerky, optional, torn into bite sized pieces
Noodles:
3-4 ounces precooked wheat pasta
2-3 ounces “fast-cooking” dried wheat noodles
1-3 ounces dried rice noodles
Sliced green onion or chives

In the bottom of a 16-ounce heat-proof container add 2 servings of the base, the flavor boost, vegetables, and jerky, if using. Place noodles on top and then the green onions or chives.

When ready to eat, fill the container almost to the top with boiling water. Loosely set lid on top and let sit for 3-5 minutes. Stir to combine.

A close up of the prepared noodle jar with noodles, jerky, and shiitakes.
Tasty noodles.

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