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Tabletop Squadron Transcript – Season 2, Episode 36:
Transcript by Raina Harper
LILIT: Hello everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they hunt for galactic treasure, staying away from a bitter rival and growing closer together.
I’d like to thank everyone who joined us this past weekend at the Tabletop Squadron Virtual Convention, and I’d like to give a special shout-out to Cameron and Michael of Team Those Of Us Who Still Do Not Know Star Wars for now being the two-time trivia show champions. I congratulate you on your win. If you weren’t able to join our Twitch streams, we will be getting the recordings onto YouTube shortly, so be on the lookout for those.
Music credits and content warnings are available in the show notes this week.
Now, let’s get into the episode.
NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 36! I’m your host and game master, Nick. Actually, on the car ride home from work today, I thought up a really interesting thing to say, like a funny kind of off-the-cuff. I was gonna impress everybody. As soon as I said hello I forgot it, so um…
CAMERON: I’m sure it was very interesting.
NICK: It was really interesting and it was kinda witty and wasn’t gonna derail the conversation but was gonna kind of prop it up and get it going… and it’s gone.
LILIT: Well, I applaud you and your bravery for telling us that you forgot your great idea.
NICK: Mm-hmm. I would like full credit as if I had not forgotten it.
CAMERON: You are… such a clever boy.
NICK: Thank you. … Let’s all go around the table and everybody say who you are and who you are playing today starting with Hudson.
HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson. I play Tink, a Gigoran slicer.
NICK: Wonderful. Next up we’ve got Lilit.
LILIT: Hello. I am Lilit, and I play Tink, a Gigoran slicer.
HUDSON: [mournfully] No…
HUDSON: How will we know which one to shoot?
LILIT: I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.
NICK: You know the answer to that, Hudson. You shoot both.
HUDSON: Oh… I guess if you can’t decide, that’s the only way.
NICK: Last but not least, we’ve got Cameron.
CAMERON: Hello. My name is Cameron, and I play HK-67, an assassin droid.
NICK: Um… You just completely broke me on that.
NICK: I was like, quick, come up with a witty statement to preserve your GM PC, and I got nothing.
CAMERON: [smiling] He’s mine now.
NICK: I guess he’s yours now. Congratulations. Proud of you.
CAMERON: But I will also be playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter.
NICK: Oh, that’s a good character. I think that’ll fit well for you in the way you like to play.
NICK: Alright. So, before we do a recap, let’s do the Destiny Roll~!
CAMERON: One light side.
HUDSON: Two light side.
LILIT: One dark side.
NICK: When we last left off, you all had managed to infiltrate the Mandalorian wilderness with the help of Mills and his strill, Balthazar. You found in the center of a dip in the land some sort of strange facility hidden where they had been told not to go on risk of death or losing their safari license. You managed to talk your way past two Twi’lek guards and find Kettle who is running this facility for reasons unknown and admitted to having collected several parts of the Shattered Force.
Then, you suggested that Kettle needed some sort of significant other and had a brainstorming session of who would be the best romantic fit for her. She enjoyed that for a while and then dropped you into a pit and released a mythosaur, a giant creature that is like a spiked wingless dragon. That’s where we started.
NICK: You all have been dropped through a trap door into this large dirt-covered arena. There are tiered stands behind transparesteel windows that are empty but still have spotlights on them as though expecting an audience that has not yet arrived. The wall up above the stands has lowered and you can see that it was a wall that was dividing Kettle’s office from the rest of this arena, and she and several scientists are watching interestedly as the recording ends, saying:
NICK (as announcer): The terrible and mighty mythosaur!
NICK: A large durasteel grating rides up into the ceiling revealing a massive creature the color of wet sand with horns around its mouth and on top of its head in a ridged back and a long tail. This thing is probably 40 meters long, 30 meters high when it stands up straight on its four legs. It’s huge, stocky, muscular, has massive teeth, and it roars and charges at you. Xianna says…
LILIT: Xianna holds up a hand with a grenade and informs everyone of said grenade.
NICK: Yeah. That’s the last second you have before this creature is charging at you, clearly focused on killing you. I need you all to roll initiative.
CAMERON: Oh dear. Karma rolled two successes and two triumphs.
HUDSON: I have a success and three advantages.
LILIT: One success and two advantages.
NICK: So, starting out with those triumphs, is there anything that you would like to add to the scene? I would say you can either have something extremely helpful built into this arena that might help you with the mythosaur…
CAMERON: So, I think within the floors of this arena are little corridors built out and depressions and little rises to make it to where we could find locations to have cover that this giant monster could not access. I guess kind of like in a gladiatorial arena where there are the multiple levels of things. There’s not a ton of it, but there is some so that we’re not just stuck standing out in the open trying to battle this beast.
NICK: Yeah, I think that’s great. We’ll say that the floor has been carved to look like some of the dried lands of the deep wilderness that have been carved by sand and drought over hundreds of years. It’s more of the mythosaur’s native habitat, so it’s comfortable around that, but it definitely gives you all places to hide and take cover and try to maneuver. Cool, great, awesome. Now, could you roll me four greens and a yellow, please?
CAMERON: Three successes, three advantages.
NICK: [chuckling] And one more time?
CAMERON: One success, six advantages.
NICK: Wow, okay.
CAMERON: Do we need to roll for HK?
NICK: Oh yeah, probably. Two greens and a yellow.
CAMERON: A success and an advantage.
NICK: Now that everybody has rolled initiative, including HK and the mythosaur, the order will be NPC, PC, NPC, PC, PC, PC. So, the mythosaur, with its massive speed, is going first.
It charges, stepping nimbly on the flat parts of this scalloped and wind-swept terrain. You all can’t help but notice this interesting detail even though this massive death machine is charging at you. The terrain up-close is obviously synthetic, it’s like plaster an durasteel that’s been made into these shapes, but from a distance it probably looks very convincing, but it can still hold this mythosaur’s tremendous weight. It clearly weighs a lot.
CAMERON: So much.
NICK: So, it is going to attack somebody. Can you all roll a Force die for me?
CAMERON: All of us?
CAMERON: Okay. Two light side.
LILIT: Two light side.
HUDSON: Two light side.
NICK: Roll one more?
CAMERON: Oh no, HK… One dark side.
NICK: Oh no!
NICK: As though by fate, the mythosaur hones in on HK. Could you roll me six green die, please, against two purple? Well, actually, flip my dark side point and upgrade one of those to a yellow.
CAMERON: So five green, a yellow, and two purple?
CAMERON: One success, two advantages, and a triumph.
NICK: Ooh goodness. Uh… so that’s 10 damage coming at HK, which is not great. The good news is that’s only half of his health.
CAMERON: [nervous exhaling chuckle]
NICK: Let’s roll up that crit.
CAMERON: A 77.
LILIT: The 77 on the crit chart is Overpowered. Attacker may immediately attempt another free attack using same pool as the original attack.
CAMERON: Oh no!
NICK: Yep, this thing I think sweeps with a claw, digging up the ground under it, and knocks HK into the air with one claw and rearing back on its hind legs it sweeps down at him with the other. We’ll do another attack.
CAMERON: This is too many dice. On that one we got two advantages.
NICK: Oh, it didn’t hit?
NICK: So HK is somehow able to twist in the air, stunningly agile. You’ve never seen him move like this. It’s like that scene with Spiderman where he dodges the saw blades and twists horizontally. HK is falling towards the ground, he has one arm extended and his two legs are stretched out like he’s gonna do a superhero landing, and then he just smashes face-first into the ground with a hollow clang, but he does not get hit. And it is a PC slot.
CAMERON: I think probably the grenade?
NICK: I wish everyone could see Lilit’s de facto nod at that tactical decision.
LILIT: [casually] Like yeah, yeah, grenade…
LILIT: Xianna’s gonna throw the grenade at the mythosaur’s face.
NICK: Wonderful. So uh, here’s the thing. The difficulty of doing Ranged attacks against the mythosaur is three reds and three blacks.
LILIT: Okay! Xianna is going to aim.
NICK: Yeah, fair.
LILIT: Yes. Alright… [laughs] I have a triumph with its success, I have a triumph without a success, and a threat.
NICK: Huh! Interesting. I would imagine that you would like to crit since you hit it and that’s on [fades out]
LILIT: I would like to crit since I hit it.
NICK: Yeah. The other triumph you can either use to add 10 to the crit or you can do something creative.
LILIT: One will go for the crit.
CAMERON: A 40.
LILIT: A 40 is Stinger. Add a difficulty to next check.
NICK: Okay. So how much damage does this do?
LILIT: Alright… 8 damage. Blast is 6.
NICK: So that’s 14 +1 is 15, if you activated it.
LILIT: Correct. I’m going to spend one of those Destiny Points to activate Soft Spot on my Scoundrel talent tree which is after making a successful attack I may spend one to add damage equal to my Cunning, and my Cunning is 5, so that would be 21 damage points in total.
NICK: Wow, that’s a lot.
HUDSON: [chuckling] It is unphased.
NICK: Well, yeah.
LILIT: Yeah. [laughs]
NICK: You toss this grenade up into the air. It’s a perfect shot. It hits it right between the nostrils, somewhere where the scales are very small. Obviously they’re more sensitive. This grenade explodes even larger than you would expect. The fire encases the front of the mythosaur’s head. It roars in anger, and as the smoke clears it’s barely lost a step.
A single teeny-tiny drop of blood drips down, and the camera follows it as it drips from its nose, off of its jaw, and hits the ground. It looks small, but from your side it’s a large amount of blood. Maybe the size of two fists hits the ground and splashes with a sizzle. But, you didn’t do a whole lot. You did hurt it, but not very much, unfortunately.
Up next is an NPC slot, and I think the mythosaur is going to target the person who threw the angry exploding rock at it.
LILIT: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah.
NICK: So that’s gonna be six—Basically, it’s so large that it takes a single step and it’s within engaged range of you all. It steps forward and swings a front claw straight at Xianna, and it’s six greens versus two purple. You have some Defense, don’t you?
LILIT: I have a Defense, so that’ll be a black die, and also I’m gonna perform a Dodge incidental.
LILIT: I’m gonna suffer strain equal to my ranks in Dodge, which is 1, so that upgrades the difficulty of that attack.
NICK: And it also is at increased difficulty because of the crit it had against it as well. But I will say because you rolled a threat that you put enough into the throw and focusing on being accurate that you’re not able to dodge as much as you want, so it will also have a blue die, so that will be a red, two purple, a black, a blue, and six greens.
CAMERON: Five advantages.
NICK: So… Xianna, you’re able to dodge it. It gouges a large tunnel with its claws as you step out of the way which you all slide down into. I’m going to say those advantages are if anyone tries to move out of melee range with it or to get to different position or cover or anything like that, you’ll have to pass an Athletics check to get out of the hole it’s dug for you. Xianna, do you wanna describe how you dodge this giant swipe? Because it’s impressive.
LILIT: Xianna drops down, does a barrel roll off to the side behind a pillar.
NICK: Nice. Very good. Up next is a PC slot.
HUDSON: I look up and I shout at Kettle.
HUDSON (as Tink): Kettle! Hey! Uh… what’s this mythosaur’s name?
NICK (as Kettle): You have an interesting set of priorities, Tink. That’s really something that I like about you. I like that you can be facing your own impending death after having pissed off one of the most dangerous women in the galaxy and your focus is what the name of this creature is. It’s Experiment 247.
HUDSON (as Tink): Experiment 247… So, I see that you’ve sent us a challenge here. Is there any way that you would reconsider having us battle this particular experiment? Is there one that’s like half its size or something less deadly?
NICK: Go ahead and roll me a Charm check, Tink, or Negotiation.
HUDSON: I’ll do Negotiation.
NICK: Okay. This is literally a Negotiation, so that makes sense. It’s going to be hard difficulty with two black die, so three purple, two black.
HUDSON: One failure and three threats. I did a mess-up.
CAMERON: Oh no.
NICK: She looks like she’s thinking and she taps her long finger to her cheek. Then Tink, you realize that what she’s actually doing is looking behind you as though buying time for this creature to swipe at you, and that’s when this thing swipes at Xianna who barrel rolls out of the way and steps aside.
Suddenly the ground that you were standing on has been scooped out. It’s like you’re standing in a swimming pool now. You fall through the empty air and fall prone, [dramatic bass noise], at the bottom of this chasm. That was just talking. If you wanna try and do something else, you can.
HUDSON: Okay. I have my vibro-axe, right?
NICK: Absolutely. You’re fully armed.
HUDSON: I would like to run at the mythosaur and try to swipe and cut through its leg.
NICK: You’ve done this before, you realize. You’re having flashbacks to the last time you fought a giant monster. First, I need you to roll a hard difficulty Athletics check to get out of this pit that you’re in.
HUDSON: I have 0 in Athletics. Let’s go! Let’s fucking go!
CAMERON: You’re brawny.
HUDSON: Two successes and an advantage!
NICK: Okay. So, you’re able to climb up out of this hole and charge at this creature. It’s balanced on three legs as it follows through with its swipe at Xianna. You’re acting very quickly and surely, and now you can roll your attack. To Melee attack the mythosaur is two reds and three blacks.
HUDSON: One success.
NICK: Wow! Good job. How much damage is that?
NICK: Okay. So, you swing your axe. You manage to impact with this thing. You’ve hit walls with your axe, you’ve hit space ships with your axe, you’ve hit people with your axe. You’ve hit all sorts of things, and never has it bounced back so forcefully. You feel the vibrations travel up your shoulders, and this thing barely even notices that you have attacked it. We’re onto another PC slot.
CAMERON: Alright. I’m going to try to get out of this hole. It was a hard Athletics?
NICK: Okay, so that’ll be a hard Athletics check. Yep.
CAMERON: Just a success.
NICK: Just a success?
NICK: You’re out of the hole. Where are you headed?
CAMERON: I am headed to either… to one of the sides, just moving away so that we’re not all in this one location together.
NICK: Okay, trying to flank it, basically.
CAMERON: Yeah. Trying to spread us out a little bit so that if it just decides to step on one location we aren’t all there.
NICK: Yeah, that makes sense. If you spend your extra maneuver to do an additional move, you can make it so that it still can’t reach you in one swipe, that it would have to walk towards you and away from your friends, or if you just do the one move, you’ll be over to the side, it’ll just be able to pick its target.
CAMERON: Alright, I will do two.
NICK: Okay. So where are you running to? What are you trying to do?
CAMERON: I am running over to the mythosaur’s left side. There is one of the little corridors that kind of runs through a hill and it’s kind of like a bird blind where there’s a small little window in this hill so that Karma can see out of it.
NICK: [chuckles] Okay. My, that sounds convenient.
CAMERON: Doesn’t it though?
CAMERON: It’s like I had multiple triumphs earlier.
NICK: Yeah, that makes sense.
CAMERON: I’m going to shoot it.
CAMERON: Shooting was three reds and two blacks?
NICK: Three reds and three blacks.
CAMERON: Well, so… I have one success, a threat, a triumph, and a despair.
NICK: [laughs] Okay. You hit it. Let’s go ahead and see what damage you do to it first.
CAMERON: Okay, that would be 14 damage, and my gun’s not on stun right now.
NICK: Makes sense. Okay. So, do you wanna roll that crit?
CAMERON: Yeah. An 88 +40.
NICK: Technically it’s +10 because it got crit on by the grenade.
LILIT: Alright, so if the crit is 138, it is Bleeding Out. Suffer 1 wound and 1 strain per turn until injury is healed.
LILIT: Suffer 1 critical injury per 5 wounds beyond wound threshold.
NICK: Interesting. Okay. So, here’s the thing. The blaster bolt does not pierce the scales of this creature. It just scores off and leaves some scoring. How do you… Where do you hit it? What do you do that causes it to start to bleed?
CAMERON: Well, so we’re in Mandalore Park. It’s very important to be able to control your mythosaur, you know, for science. So it has… I guess it’s not a restraining bolt because it’s not a droid, but essentially that same type of thing.
LILIT: It has a bark collar. You know.
CAMERON: Yeah, you know, just a really big bark collar so that it stays quiet at night and you can sleep. But basically so that they can easily knock it out if they need to do any veterinary services to it. [laughs] or get close to it for science. I hit that, so it kind of arcs, and it’s going to just continue to sit there and spark the mythosaur.
NICK: Mm-hmm. Yeah. This thing is genetically engineered and this is part of the construction of the creature, so you manage to hit it somewhere very bad and it is obviously in pain but still very angry.
NICK: It is HK’s turn. Uh…
HUDSON (as Tink): HK! Are you with me, buddy?
NICK (as HK): Weak Statement: I am still technically functioning but would like to not be hit by this creature again.
HUDSON (as Tink): HK, do a Holonet search for the mythosaur’s natural enemies.
NICK (as HK): Instruction from Boss Man acknowledged.
NICK: We’ll just say HK has a Wi-Fi connection. Sure. We’ve never really established that one way or the other. Roll me a Xenology check, Cameron, please. HK’s Xenology is two green dice. We’ll say that it’s an average difficulty check. The mythosaur is a thing that there’s a lot of information about out there.
CAMERON: A threat. [chuckles]
NICK: HK is aiming down the sights of his blaster rifle at this mythosaur, and without looking towards you, Tink, he says:
NICK (as HK): Successful Statement: I have found the main enemy of the mythosaur. What would you like me to do with this information?
HUDSON (as Tink): I would like you to find high-quality audio recordings of that adversary and blast them out of your sound speakers at the mythosaur.
NICK: HK cocks his head, puts the rifle down, and says:
NICK (as HK): There are no existing recordings of the sound necessary, but I will use this artistic rendition.
NICK: HK emits a sound like the gravelly screech of a starship scraping against multiple asteroids that are disappointed in you. Once the sound is completed, the mythosaur turns towards HK. He has gotten this thing’s entire attention.
NICK (as HK): Boss Man, your strategy of playing a female mythosaur roar appears to have worked.
NICK: And it’s an NPC slot.
NICK: This mythosaur is going to crush the living daylights out of HK.
CAMERON: Oh no.
LILIT: RIP HK, we barely knew you.
NICK: I would like to flip a dark side point to upgrade this attack. I think that this thing has become so fixated upon HK that it’s going to aim to add a blue die. Also, it gets a blue die from the threat.
CAMERON: Six successes…
NICK: Oh no.
CAMERON: …four advantages.
NICK: [long strained exhale] Okay. So, that does… wow. It does 15 damage which puts HK down below 0.
HUDSON: Oh no.
NICK: It also crits. So, I need you to roll me a crit +10.
CAMERON: That will be a 70.
LILIT: A 70 is Scattered Senses. Gain no boost dice until end of encounter.
NICK: Oh that’s fine because HK’s unconscious. Then, I need you to roll me another crit at +20 because he is unconscious.
CAMERON: A 56.
LILIT: A 56 is Agonizing Wound. Plus difficulty to Brawn (Agility) checks until end of encounter, which is okay because he’s unconscious.
CAMERON: He doesn’t mind that much.
NICK: I don’t know if HK would agree with you on the “okay.” This creature leans in close. It gets its—It’s head is so much bigger and so much taller than HK’s body. He sways as its nostrils flair as it takes a deep sniff of the droid. HK leans back and you can see a nano-knife extend from his arm. He starts to say something and swing forward, and as he goes to punch this thing in the face a giant clawed foot just crushes him.
It’s like in between frames of a camera. First you see HK there punching defiantly at this creature and then there’s just a foot, and then the foot scrapes away with a scattering of sparks. His chest is caved in. His limbs are at odd angles. The lights on his head are out. He is very, very heavily damaged. You can see, where his chest is caved in, a piece of a central processing core sticking out like a rib that has punched through, and a piece of the Rancor Protocol is even exposed.
HK is in really bad shape. You’re not sure if he’s even alive. Hopefully you can fix him, but you don’t know. Up next is a PC slot.
LILIT: So Nick, what does the ceiling of this place look like? And why does it have a whole bunch of stalactites?
NICK: Well, it has a whole bunch of stalactites because that would be part of the native cave structure in which the mythosaur was known to roam. It adds a certain ambience to the display. Because the ceiling does have very large synthetic stalactites all over it. They look almost razor sharp, one might say.
LILIT: Xianna looks up at the very high lofted ceiling in this place and starts to shoot at the stalactites hoping to, at the very least, create a little bit of a barrier between everyone and the mythosaur.
HUDSON (as Tink): What are you doing? We could have used those to climb out. Why are you shooting them down?
LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, we don’t need to climb out, we need to survive. Look at HK! He is dead.
HUDSON (as Tink): HK is not necessarily dead—
LILIT (as Xianna): RIP HK! We will remember you. F in the chat!
HUDSON (as Tink): No, no F in the chat. HK’s taking a nap.
NICK: A small pitiful spark shoots out of HK’s crushed-in head.
LILIT: Instead of aiming, Xianna’s gonna use a maneuver to quickdraw some impact.
LILIT: Because now one hand is free because the grenade got thrown.
NICK: Yeah, absolutely.
LILIT: So she now has a free hand. She already had her blaster in the other, so… Yeah, quickdraw some impact. That is going to up my Agility. How far away would you say we are?
NICK: From the ceiling?
NICK: Long range.
LILIT: Okay. Can I flip a Destiny Point?
CAMERON: Yeah, we got four of them.
LILIT: Alright, that is one success and four advantages.
NICK: Golly. Would you like those advantages to be that you knock some stalactites down from the ceiling?
LILIT: That’s what I would like my successes to be as well.
NICK: Would you like your advantages to be that you knock additional stalactites down from the ceiling?
LILIT: Yes. I would like to knock as many stalactites down as possible.
NICK: You spray blaster fire up towards the ceiling. These large constructed stalactites are knocked loose. That seems to be some sort of safety issue, but you’re thankful for it at the moment, and they come crashing down. One impales itself into the shoulder of the mythosaur. It roars in rage but still seems to absolutely be looking around for who to attack next. A string of these stalactites fall down in between you and the mythosaur, and Tink and the mythosaur, narrowly missing HK’s crushed body.
You have made a barrier that it will probably have to crash through to get to you and have hurt it. The roar that it did is definitely a much more panicked noise than you’ve heard from it so far and you can see that its shoulder is already stained red with the blood welling up around the now-damaged muscle.
We are to another NPC slot. It’s going to use its turn smashing through these stalactites trying to get to Xianna and Tink. It is tearing with both of its front claws, one stronger than the other, ripping this durasteel and plaster and stone carvings apart to get to you. It does manage to clear most of them away and advance upon you, but it takes quite a while and energy and you can see that shock collar continually going off is still hurting it and is using some of its energy.
So, you have managed to slow it down. That was a very good move. You’ve hurt it very badly. Up next is another PC slot. Are you going, Karma?
NICK: Before you go, you rolled a despair in your last turn, didn’t you?
CAMERON: [sweetly] I did, yes.
NICK: You’ve managed to flank this creature. You found yourself in some very nice cover. This thing is pointed away from you, attacking your friends, shredding these stones, and something, as you look around for what you’re going to do next, that you didn’t think about or maybe forgot about in the action is that this creature also has a very, very large tail. But you’re very quickly reminded of it as the tail smashes through the cover that you’re in and sends you flying. I need you to roll six greens against your defense.
CAMERON: An advantage.
NICK: So, you don’t get hurt. This thing hits you, smashes you, knocks you out of cover, but you’re able to absorb the blow. What does it look like as you’re flung backwards by this tail but not injured?
CAMERON: I feel like when the tail crashes through the cover, along with picking up Karma and flinging her, it also flings a large portion of this little hill that she was hiding in. So, I think Karma’s able to kind of push off of that as they’re both flying to get her body back under control so that she can land and safely roll when she hits the ground. Then there’s just a giant crash of the rest of the hill hitting the ground behind her.
NICK: Very cool. Now that has happened, you find yourself in the free and clear. The tail is recoiling back as the creature continues to focus on your friends. What do you do?
CAMERON: The last thing I saw before getting flung across the room was Xianna shooting at the ceiling and stalactites falling, and that seems smart, so I’m gonna do that too.
CAMERON: Alright, and I am aiming at the stalactites.
NICK: Makes sense.
CAMERON: Four successes, a triumph, and two threats.
NICK: Okay. You’re able to knock quite a few of the stalactites down. I think with the threats you’re gonna have to dodge a couple that are a little close to you.
CAMERON: Yeah, that’s fine.
NICK: Would you like to use the triumph that the stalactites crit on this thing?
NICK: Okay. We’ll say that a stalactite is Vicious 2, so it can be +20, but it’s actually +40 because it’s been crit on twice, so let’s roll that crit.
CAMERON: Does my Lethal Blows still count?
NICK: I don’t think so.
CAMERON: Because it’s any critical injury result inflicted on opponent. I’m inflicting stalactites on the opponent.
NICK: That feels like a pretty big stretch to me.
CAMERON: [laughs] Yeah. Okay, I’m fine with just the +40.
NICK: I appreciate that you’re trying, but I don’t think so on that one.
CAMERON: That’s a 60, so it’ll be a 100.
LILIT: A 100 is the one we’ve called Harmed. One limb is impaired until healed or replaced. Plus difficulty to all checks using that limb.
NICK: So, this particularly large and jagged stalactite crashes down very close to the one that Xianna was able to hit this creature with, and it dislocates the shoulder, and this creature, if it’s attacking with that arm, is going to really struggle to hit things. So I think if it’s attacking with its claws, it has increased difficulty going forward.
It is hurt pretty bad. You all have managed to shake it. The downside is you’ve pretty much cleared the ceiling of these stalactites at this point. There’s some around the edges, but this thing is in the middle—it’s still right up in your face and there aren’t a lot more. You’re not sure if that’s gonna really be able to finish it off even though it did make some progress. Also, I need a hard Coordination check from you, Karma.
NICK: As a couple of the stalactites are crashing towards you.
CAMERON: One success, two advantages.
NICK: You’re able to dodge out of the way. I think you do it so nimbly that you’re able to distract this thing slightly, so whatever the next person does will have a blue die on the check, because this thing got hit by a stalactite, followed them down as they were going towards you, and you’re able to move so quickly that you… kind of like a cat follows movement, this thing is distracted by your quick dodge. Up next is the last PC slot of the round.
HUDSON: I’m gonna flip a light side point. As the stalactites fell, under the ground, it kind of ripped up parts of the ground and uncovered a series of pipes. One of them has a toxic warning label on it and it’s lime green, and I was like:
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, that’s probably something that could hurt a beast.
NICK: Is it a frowny face making a gross face with its tongue sticking out? Is that the logo that’s on the pipe?
HUDSON: It’s the medical hazard sign, more so.
NICK: Okay cool. What are you gonna do with this pipe to poison the beast?
HUDSON: I’m going to take my axe and swing it and break the pipe.
NICK: Okay. I’m gonna say, to hit the pipe at such an angle that it sprays the beast, it’s gonna be a hard difficulty attack.
HUDSON: I would like to aim.
NICK: Great idea. [laughs]
HUDSON: Four successes and five advantages.
NICK: Wow. I would say that you are able to hit it exactly the way you imagine, and it does exactly what you want it to. What is that, exactly? [laughs]
HUDSON: I try to be really cool about it, so I do like a full-body swing at it, at the angle to hit the beast, and I say:
HUDSON (as Tink): Spladoosh!
HUDSON: I make it squirt all over its face.
CAMERON: Oh no!
NICK: Okay. What do you think the stuff in this hazardous-marked pipe is? What do you think it does? Is it acid? Is it poison? Is it a hallucinogen?
HUDSON: The concoction that squirts on the mythosaur is something that smells like lavender, is a little bit thick and gaseous, and hits the mythosaur right in the face and makes it really woozy and dizzy and it starts to sway from side to side.
NICK: It looks like a creature that has been tranquilized but is fighting the effects, because that’s what’s happened. It’s stumbling a little, but it continues to swipe at the air. It’s an NPC slot, and it is going to swipe at Tink as hard as it can. That’s six greens against Tink’s defense, which he doesn’t have. Also, flip me a dark side point to upgrade it, please.
HUDSON: Man, you really wanna hurt us. [laughs]
CAMERON: Two successes.
NICK: So that’s 11 damage, Tink.
NICK: Minus your Soak.
NICK: This thing, it bats at you and the claws dig into your side as it flings you back away from it, and it makes a low roar as it starts to sink down onto its haunches. It’s to another PC slot. This thing appears to be about to fall unconscious but has not yet done so.
LILIT: I mean, I don’t know what everyone else’s plan is, but Xianna’s plan is to cover her face and try to run for cover.
NICK: It’s probably a good thing. It’s almost like it’s gonna get one more attack at somebody and then pass out, or something.
LILIT: Yeah, Xianna’s more concerned with when it passes out, because that’s probably gonna be a real big thud and that’s gonna create some problems in the environment.
NICK: Mm-hmm. Cool. So Xianna, you cover your face and run, I assume? You spend a strain to do a double maneuver to get as far as possible?
LILIT: Correct. I’m assuming that Xianna—her coat collar buttons up in a way that it will cover her face, and look very cool and cyberpunk I guess.
NICK: [chuckles] Yeah. Xianna, with the natural terrain of this arena, you’re also able to slide behind an outcropping of rocks and find more cover as well. It’s another mythosaur slot. Karma and Tink, roll me a Force die please. This thing is having trouble seeing straight but is still very angry.
HUDSON: One light side.
CAMERON: Two dark side!
NICK: It whips around, locks eyes with Karma, and it charges at you because you had cleared some ground and tries to swing at you. It’s gonna be six greens, but it does have an increased difficulty because of its injured shoulder. I would like to flip a dark side point to upgrade it.
CAMERON: I am going to take 2 strain to Dodge, because I have 2 Ranks in Dodge.
CAMERON: So I will upgrade the difficulty of the attack by two.
CAMERON: An advantage and a despair. No failures or successes.
NICK: Huh, so it doesn’t manage to hit you. I think that you start to backpedal as it gets close and it starts to stagger, and it falls to its knees and gets up and then falls again.
CAMERON: And then it just faceplants into the wall.
NICK: Yeah. You’re able to jump out of the way and it staggers forward and smashes into the wall and collapses. With a solid (wumf), it falls unconscious under the effects of this gas that is slowly filling the arena. Before you all even have a moment to celebrate your victory, from the PA system you hear Kettle say:
NICK (as Kettle): What do you mean there’s incoming fighters? This place should be protected by the Mandalorian Vanguard.
NICK: There’s a long pause and then there’s an explosion that shakes the arena and knocks more of those stalactites loose around the edge of the arena. Xianna, having run for the edge of the arena, one of them does crash unsettlingly close to you.
NICK (as Kettle): Lock the portals. We’ll leave them in there. We have to settle this now.
NICK: And the scientists start to scramble. The wall goes back up, separating her from where you are. You’re stuck in this arena with no audience, and the lights flicker and then turn red like emergency lighting. The announcer voice you heard earlier says:
NICK (as announcer): We apologize for the delay in the show. There appears to be some sort of emergency. Please follow your ushers to the emergency exits.
NICK: You see doors open on the stands, but you’re separated from that by the transparesteel walls and you can’t escape. It looks like someone is attacking Kettle’s base.
CAMERON: Karma runs over and starts gathering up HK.
NICK: One of his arms and both of his legs have been knocked off. His head is twisted around so it’s almost on backwards. You’re able to fashion him…
CAMERON: I have some net for fishing and I fashion a backpack out of it, and then I put it on my back.
NICK: Thank you. Yeah.
CAMERON: But I set it up to where an actor could potentially be sitting up in it and use strings to control the arms. [laughs]
NICK: So, we see Karma hooking HK’s shattered frame into a netting backpack and putting it on. Tink and Xianna are looking over her. Everybody is dusty and worse for wear. Another explosion shakes the arena, dust settling down around you in a fine mist. The announcer voice changes in timbre and says:
NICK (as announcer): Security breech. Security breech. There are trespassers in the facility.
LILIT: Xianna pulls her coat’s facemask down.
LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, well this is even weirder now.
CAMERON (as Karma): What are the odds of someone infiltrating the base the same day we decided to infiltrate the base?
LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, at least one, apparently.
HUDSON (as Tink): Never tell me the odds!
LILIT (as Xianna): We’re a little too late for that, Tink. Also, are you happy? You got to fight a mythosaur. Are you happy now?
HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… I was actually gonna be polite and not rub it in your frickin’ face that mythosaurs exist, but they frickin’ do.
LILIT (as Xianna): Only because Kettle like genetically engineered and created a new one.
HUDSON (as Tink): It’s still a mythosaur. I mean, it’s the same thing as if you take a boat completely apart and then build it back. Is it the same boat?
CAMERON (as Karma): Wait.
LILIT (as Xianna): Oh gosh. We don’t have time for that one.
CAMERON (as Karma): Yes, if you take a boat apart and then put it back together, it is the same boat.
HUDSON (as Tink): No-no-no, but you use some new parts.
CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, that’s not what you said.
LILIT (as Xianna): With some new parts or like all new parts?
HUDSON (as Tink): 89%.
LILIT (as Xianna): Well like, so 89% new parts?
HUDSON (as Tink): Yes.
LILIT (as Xianna): Then it’s a new boat.
HUDSON (as Tink): But, you’re using… It’s in the same place as the old boat.
LILIT (as Xianna): You can’t just build a new boat where there used to be a different boat and say it’s the other boat. That’s not how that works.
HUDSON (as Tink): You’re still using parts from the old boat.
LILIT (as Xianna): But only like 11%.
HUDSON (as Tink): Anyways.
CAMERON (as Karma): Tink, do you want me to take a picture of you and the mythosaur?
HUDSON (as Tink): Yes!
LILIT (as Xianna): Tink… Tink. Okay. So if a little baby Gigoran was born in the exact spot you were born, and then I handed it your belt, would that be Tink now?
HUDSON (as Tink): That is… Is it named Tink?
LILIT (as Xianna): Sure. Let’s say. Let’s say it is named Tink. Is it exactly the same Gigoran as you?
HUDSON (as Tink): Is it part of my lineage? Is it from my loins?
LILIT (as Xianna): No, it’s just a different Gigoran born in the exact same spot, but it’s like 11% you because of the belt.
NICK: You all are having this argument as Tink walks to the mythosaur’s head and does like a kawaii peace sign and Karma’s taking pictures.
LILIT: Yeah, Xianna’s absolutely taking selfies during this whole conversation.
NICK: We get the snapshot of Tink standing proudly in front of the mythosaur and Xianna off to the side taking selfies, and then there’s another huge explosion that blows one of the walls out. The final shot that we see is the snapshot picture with the polaroid frame and it’s Tink and Xianna ducking from the explosion as dust rains around this sleeping mythosaur, and that’s gonna be the end of the episode.
CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show, please consider leaving a review on your podcast listening app of choice. Reviews will help new listeners find the show, and every time we get one Nick lets the squad have a blue die.
If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere else we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, a level that includes bonus channels on our Discord and tons of bonus episodes that include side character arcs, flashbacks, bloopers and TV show reviews.
Xianna’fan is played by Lilit Penrod. They can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.
Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.
Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.
Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.
Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.
Additional music by James Gunter.
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad and join our Discord and share all your cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find a link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.