Month: July 2019

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 17:
There’s Been A Murder

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

CAMERON: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Cameron, your substitute introduction reader this episode because Nick went on a business trip without recording it. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Hey y’all, you probably heard this update in the first bonus Jedi episode that went up last week, but just in case you missed that one, y’all unlocked our social goal! We reached 125 Twitter followers and we’ll be meeting our new blue Gungan friend, Web-Web Kebob, who by the way is a circus acrobat who loves Sabacc and making jewelry… just as soon as Nick can figure out how to put such a deep and fascinating character into the campaign. All of those marvelous traits were decided by listeners like you, which kinda feels like I’m doing a public broadcasting pledge drive announcement. Web-Web Kebob is brought to you by you, our listeners.

Anyway. We will be releasing more bonus Jedi episodes on off-weeks as well as our first ever blooper reel! Even though we’ve met our goal, come join the squad on Twitter at @Tabletop_Squad and talk to us about Star Wars. It’s one of our passions~

Okay, last housekeeping thing: These episodes were recorded LIVE AT GENCON. The squad made a pilgrimage up to Indianapolis and we brought our gear with us. The audio’s pretty clean, but you may notice we have a bit more of an echo than you’re used to. The room had different acoustics, and there wasn’t a ton that Nick could do about it. It’s pretty minor so hopefully it’s not that distracting.

Also, that wasn’t the last thing. (laughs) We had guests on the show! Drew and Aly from the Welcome to Warda podcast were with us in Episode 16 and they join us again this episode. Warda is one of our absolute favorite worlds and podcasts, and Aly and Drew are amazing performers and super cool people. You can find out more about Warda at or at @WelcomeToWarda on Twitter. Check it out.

Okay, now I’m actually done. Thank you for listening, and we hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 17, back again. We’re still live at GenCon. We’re gonna go around the table and introduce everybody, our two special guests who have managed to stay with us for more than a session—that’s very exciting—and then we’ll jump right into it. Start off with Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson, and I’m a Devaronian pizza boy. (laughter) I’m a Gigoran slicer, actually a Gigoran slicer. You may continue.

NICK: Great. You had me panicked for a second there. I was gonna have to change the plot. Coming up next we got Laura.

LAURA: I’m Laura, and I’m playing Sabos- Wait, no.

ALL: Aww…

LAURA: (laughs) No. I’m playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler, and everything’s gonna go great.

NICK: Yeah, everything’s fine~ Great.

LAURA: And I’m happy to be here.

NICK: Up next we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: (giggling) Hi. I’m Cameron. I am playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter. I know my script, and which character I’m playing.


DREW: Oh snap.

CAMERON: (smiling) So I’ma stick to it.

NICK: Shots fired.

HUDSON: I feel burned.

NICK: Yeah, you should. Wonderful, starting the team dynamic off strong.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Up next we’ve got Drew.

DREW: Hi! I’m Drew Mierzejewski, and I’m an actor and stage combatant, and writer, and creative in general out of Orlando. I do such things as the Warda—


DREW: –podcast, which comes out weekly on Wednesdays.

ALYSON: Oh yeah, it does, on Wednesdays.

DREW: Yeah, that’s me. I’m playing Jorus Kreel, a Human smuggler / Marshal for the outer rim.

NICK: Wonderful. Last but not least we have Aly.

ALYSON: Hi everybody. It’s Aly. I am Drew’s other half both legally and creatively~

NICK: Ooh.

DREW: And betterly.


ALYSON: Together we’ve created Warda which is an original fantasy podcast that is also an actual play, and we are also building a fiction library in that world, and we’re also building original RPG mechanics.

DREW: It’s like the Marvel MCU.

ALYSON: Yeah, it just keeps getting bigger.

DREW: Bigger and bigger.

ALYSON: It’s just getting bigger all the time. But yeah, that’s what we do.

NICK: Great! and wherever podcasts are sold!


NICK: We love Warda, so you guys should definitely check it out.

LAURA: It’s great.

CAMERON: What character are you playing?

ALYSON: Oh yeah. I’m playing Imperial Inspector Sila Rowe. I feel like there’s a Frau Blücher moment where there’s lightning in the background.

(lightning crashing noises, whinnying, laughter)

NICK: Great! We’re gonna go ahead and jump right into it. When we last left off you were at a fancy party. Falx had invited the crew of the Afternoon Delight to protect him, because he was afraid someone was going to murder him at this party. Sila had seen several suspicious characters and was here pursuing a lead on a mysterious slicer who had been cracking Imperial systems. Jorus as busy trying to find some sort of a master thief with a seductive streak that he had heard from a friend of a friend may be at the party. The lights went out, shots were fired, and a regional governor is dead in the middle of the floor. We are going to jump right into it, but first a reminder: We are not going to reroll Destiny Points because we are still playing the same session, so we are currently standing at…

CAMERON: Four light side, three dark side.

NICK: We’ll have those sitting on standby, and here we go.

We’re gonna start with the camera aimed at that little stage that was in the back of the ballroom. Again, the ballroom has clear glass that looks down onto roiling lava pits below on the planet of Mustafar. The doors have all been closed, the crowd is panicking a little bit, and we see Regional Governor Falx looking kind of sweaty, a little panicked. You’ve never really actually seen him break like this. One of the stormtroopers that has been shot is draped over the podium, and he (grunts), thump-thump, tosses the body onto the ground and pounds on the podium to get everyone’s attention.

“No one is gonna leave this party until we get to the bottom of what happened. Stormtroopers have been called from orbit, but it will take some time for them to get here and they will maintain order, but before anyone is allowed to leave this murderer must face Imperial justice.” There’s a lot of harrumphing and tittering from everyone in the crowd.

With that, he nods to himself self-assuredly, steps back, and hops down off of the podium. You are all left to your devices to deal with this situation as you will.

LAURA: How long were the lights out?

NICK: About 15 seconds.

LAURA: Oh, so definitely enough time for hyped up Xianna to put her scanner goggles on, at least for the last few seconds?

NICK: Sure.

LAURA: To maybe see which direction the shots came from, or anything like that.

NICK: Yeah. What an interesting fact you have unearthed, if you make me a successful Perception check.

LAURA: Oh, I’ll try.

NICK: At a difficulty of hard, but I won’t add any black dice because you are wearing scanner goggles, but it’s like your ability to quickdraw night vision goggles.

LAURA: They let me see in dark/obscured conditions.

NICK: yeah, go figure.

LAURA: That is one threat.

NICK: One threat you say… and the counter goes up to- Well, no, there is no counter. We’re gonna say that the threat is that the elastic on the goggles actually snaps as you try to quickdraw it.

LAURA: Oh. Yeah, I was imagining that I’m just shaky enough, I get twisted up in them, and I like pull it the wrong way and it starts pulling on my actual headgear, and the straps twist up into the headgear, and I have to pull it out and one of the straps snaps.

NICK: Yeah. It snaps, and it also gets tangled up, so that when the lights come on one of the goggles was over your eyes so you get a sharp flash, which being hyper sensitive as you are right now having taken a bump of impact in a crowded area full of people and law enforcement officials, that was a good decision, that hurts, that is extremely uncomfortable. Until you get those repaired you’re gonna have to hold them up to your face. They’re not gonna be as effective.

LAURA: Got it. Into the pockets they go.

NICK: Yeah. What’s going on from our law enforcement officials?

ALYSON: As soon as it goes dark, Sila would have called for Whist. In all of the shouting and screaming and whatnot, she would have immediately called for Whist. Presumably, now that the lights are back up and this announcement has been made, she turns to him and says, “What just happened?”

NICK: “It appears that the lights were cut, marm.”

ALYSON: “Yes, and?”

NICK: “And there are multiple casualties on the floor. I count four stormtroopers.”

ALYSON: “Any civilians?”

NICK: “Well, if you haven’t spotted Governor Silpin with his new vibro-appendage I’m a little worried about your perception.”

ALYSON: “Thank you for that, Whist. Of course I’ve seen Silpin.”

NICK: “As far as I can tell, he’s a civilian.”

ALYSON: “That’s not what I meant by civilian, but thank you for your input.”

NICK: “Always, at your request.”

ALYSON: “I need a complete scan of the room, vital signs of everyone who’s extant from this incident, I want a readout on Governor Falx, and tell me where Tarstin Moon is.”

NICK: Ooh. Okay. Make me a Perception check, but I’m gonna give you two blues because you’re using your sensor droid to figure that out. It’s gonna be hard.

ALYSON: That’s Perception, you said?

NICK: Yep, Perception, which you are very, very good at. You need three purple dice.

CAMERON: That’s a big handful of dice.

ALYSON: That’s three successes and one advantage.

NICK: Wonderful. I’ll let you think about the advantage. Here’s what happens. We get a camera shot of directly behind Whist which does kind of a Flight of the Bumblebee thing. He swooshes around the room, and he swooshes around the room closer, and then he starts buzzing people’s heads. You get a lot of crowd noise and people ducking out of the way. He’s being pretty obtrusive which is weird for him. Then he starts going under tables, and after a little while he comes back to you. “Good news and bad news, marm.”

ALYSON: “Go on.”

NICK: “I’ve found Inspector Tarstin Moon.”

ALYSON: “And?”

NICK: “And his life signs might be what you would call negligible.”

ALYSON: “Take me to him.”

NICK: Alright. He floats at head height and leads you over to one of the large tables off to the side. Do you want to flip the table or do you want to duck under and look?

ALYSON: She’ll drop to a knee and look under the tablecloth first.

NICK: Okay. Whist lifts the tablecloth with one of his pincer hands for you so you can see. You see that Tarstin Moon is also dead. He is shoved under a table by the wall, and that a pool of blood is seeping, it’s starting to soak into the underside of the tablecloth. You probably would have found him eventually. You can make me a Knowledge check of your choice for what was the cause of death. That could be Inner Rim, Outer Rim…

CAMERON: Education.

NICK: Ooh, Education might be good if you have that. I would do Education. That sounds like CSI-ing stuff. This will be average, so that’s only two purple.

CAMERON: (laughs)

ALYSON: Five successes and two threats.

NICK: Great. I’m gonna keep those threats in my pocket for now. I know exactly what to do with them (grinning). Five successes… I think Sila was particularly talented in the Imperial Academy with cause of death and analysis. What about that class spoke to her and made her an expert in that field?

ALYSON: To her, it’s like being able to look at a painting and understand the iconography in the painting.

NICK: Ooh.

ALYSON: Like, she understands, if it was a Renaissance painting she could look at that painting and know those are cupids, they’re attached to arrows, but they also symbolize this; this is a pastoral scene which symbolizes that; this is this nymph, this is that god, blah, blah, blah. She can just sort of see it all as one picture, and that’s what a crime scene looks like to her.

NICK: Alright. You’re gonna gain some knowledge here that I’ll have to politely ask everyone not to metagame with, because this is going to be a pretty big deal. A couple of things: The wound was made by the same knife that you saw in Silpin. That’s pretty clear. It’s a vibro-stiletto, it makes a really round puncture but causes a lot more bleeding than you would expect for the size. You’ve seen it a million times. People like to do it a lot. Using the iconography of the way Tarstin was shoved under here so quickly and the way the blood was spreading, he was the one that was stabbed first. He was stabbed more expertly as if someone made sure that he was going to go down and stay down, which is also why the blood is a little less, and he was shoved under the table very quickly as if someone was just trying to buy some time. With all that going on, you’re 100% sure that he was the primary target. The other one was to raise a stir and distract people.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. “Whist.”

NICK: “Yes, marm?”

ALYSON: He had previously been floating above the room, and there wasn’t a lot of movement in the room at that point. People were milling about, but it wasn’t like everyone was taking an Austenian turn around the room. People were kind of stationed places?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

ALYSON: What she wants from him is a little holo readout of what the bird’s eye view of that room looked like before the lights went out, or as close to that time as he has, because now people have moved.

NICK: Sure. I will give you at the time of the lights going out if you flip me a dark side point to give you that information.

ALYSON: Okay. Those advantages I’m sitting on…

NICK: You don’t have to spend those for that. You can keep those. So, Whist is able to give you two snapshots. Whist gives you 30 seconds before the lights go out, and you see that there is a purple Twi’lek that was near him as though they had a conversation. The Twi’lek looks nervous, and Tarstin looks unsettled during all that. As the lights are going out, the scene has shifted quite a bit as if there was a lot of movement right away. Tarstin was very near to this table, and Silpin, the regional governor with the cool mutton chops was standing right where his body dropped. You see a couple other things. you see that Regional Governor Falx was booking it. He was moving very quickly, and up until that point he had been a stately ship.

ALYSON: Moving slowly? Yeah.

NICK: Yeah, moving at the proper pace. With this one he was moving quick, surprisingly fast, almost as if it was someone who takes expeditions into the jungle for fun and knows how to move. He was moving towards the half of the room that had Tarstin in it. You also notice that a couple of Imperial officers that you don’t recognize were going for blasters at their hips as the light was going out, and that someone was messing with the lights, the Devaronian was messing with the lights, and that the two Rodians are doing something with their ears. Besides that, everyone else is very stationary, talking, posing at a party, but there’s a lot of movement that happened all at that point.

ALYSON: Okay. She stands up and she looks around. Now that the room has completely shifted into chaos, she’s looking for these people; she’s looking for the purple Twi’lek, she’s looking for the Devaronian and the Rodians, she’s looking for the officers that were reaching for their holsters.

NICK: Okay. I’ll give you where they are, and then we’ll jump to somebody else. The two officers are leaning up against the wall by the door that Jorus came in originally, the side exit. It looks like they’re securing the exit, kind of, but they don’t really look like they’re on guard duty. Their holsters aren’t latched, so they’re unlatched, and they’re looking pretty nonchalant, but you also notice most people with weapons have them kind of handy at this point.

ALYSON: Got it.

NICK: The Devaronian is in the corner losing his mind. He is sweating. He’s super nervous. The Rodians, it’s really hard to read a Rodian face because in Star Wars their faces are made of rubber, very deadpan, not really gesturing much, look very Zen-like. Falx is in the middle of the crowd talking to people. You see some members of the crowd he’s calming down, other ones you see him talk to them and they get more nervous, he’s like playing puppet master here with a lot of different emotions.

With that, Jorus, you have witnessed a murder, a surprisingly familiar one probably of a knife in the back. What is your response?

ALYSON: That old chestnut. That old space chestnut.


DREW: So, the lights go out, and Jorus goes, “Oh kriff…”

NICK: (laughs)

DREW: He hears the blaster fire, but he doesn’t move a muscle. He just stands there, and all we can see is the light of his felusian cigarette light up his face as he takes a deep drag on it. When the lights come back on he goes, “(exhales) I promised I wouldn’t do this again.”

NICK: (laughs)

DREW: He immediately walks over. I imagine that people are freaking out and stuff, what’s-his-bucket goes over to calm people down, so the first thing that Jorus does is he goes and he inspects the body.

NICK: Okay.

DREW: Vibro-blade to the back, pretty standard, no imagination. I understand. What do I roll to see what I get from this body?

NICK: You could hit me with a Knowledge: Underworld. You could hit me with a Perception. I would say one of the Knowledge checks would give you more about the murder weapon, Perception would give you more about the way the body has fallen, maybe the situation going on with that.

DREW: I will go with the Perception then. That’s gonna be two yellows and a green?

CAMERON: Yes. You have three Cunning.

NICK: With your background, I’d say this is an average check. Like you said, it’s that old chestnut.

DREW: Two purples… and I have three advantages. Can I use a blue?

NICK: You can have two blues if you want to burn all of them.

DREW: I’ll get two of them. The advantages on this are the fact that one, it’s this old chestnut, and two, the vibro-knife is a knife that I’m familiar with. It’s the brand and style that’s used on the outer rim.

NICK: Yeah. For sure.

DREW: So, it’s three successes, and five advantages.

NICK: Ohh…


CAMERON: (laughs) The good roll.

NICK: So, it turns out that our Imperial Investigators are very good at investigating things.

ALYSON: Weird!

DREW: It’s like it’s our job!


LAURA: What is it like as the listeners to hear characters who are competent?

NICK: (laughs) So, a couple of things: The way the body fell, this was a surprisingly expert stab, just once. Normally you see some nicking or some hesitation, just straight in. it went into a lung, which is why you didn’t hear any masculine screaming, and also why there’s as much blood as there is. Like you said earlier, some of your advantages were generated by knowing what the blade was, which means I get to tell you about that too. It is a Corellian vibro-stiletto.

DREW: Aw man.

NICK: Yeah.

DREW: And I pull out my Corellian vibro-stiletto, (laughter) just to make sure it’s still there. Yeah, it’s still there. Okay.

NICK: Yeah. There is a very noted foundry, bounty hunters really like to use them. Also, the aristocracy tends to use them, they like to use them as letter openers, but you have seen this done in succession-type shenanigans in the past. There was almost no struggle, but the way the body landed it’s like he was turning to try and look behind him and still got it in the back and dropped like a sack of potatoes.

CAMERON: Space potatoes.

NICK: Space-tatoes.

ALYSON: Spatoes.

CAMERON: yeah, spatoes.

NICK: Spatoes, that’s much better. (laughs)

DREW: Interesting. Interesting.

ALYSON: I’m a published author, so…

NICK: Yeah, you know.

DREW: I reach in and I pull out a handkerchief and I wrap it around the end of the blade, and I pull out the blade.

NICK: So, now that the vibro-knife is turned off… Ooh, another thing. Vibro-blades make a really high-pitch whining noise like a dentist drill when they’re turned on. These don’t. They are silent. How handy, for stabbing people.

DREW: Hmm.

NICK: This one, since it is off, makes a really gross ‘shplort’  noise as it pulls out.

DREW: I imagine it looks like- Have you seen those knives that are corkscrewed?

NICK: Yeah! (others ooh and groan) That’s how it is now. That’s way better. (laughs)

DREW: Yeah. It’s a corkscrewed blade that also vibrates, which is terrifying. Okay…

NICK: Oh, it’s like an immersion blender in people’s insides, it’s not good.

DREW: Oh yeah. So, I pull it out and I look at the length of the blade knowing the depth of the human body. I’m like, ‘uh, that’s lungs, that’s heart, and that’s why he fell so quick. Alright.’ I don’t care for the rug, I don’t care for any of this, so I just flip him over and I check his pockets.

NICK: Ooh.

DREW: I loot the body~

ALYSON: Is anyone coming to like make sure he’s allowed to do that?


LAURA: We’re not!

HUDSON: We don’t care.

NICK: I think the people who would’ve been most concerned about it were the stormtroopers who are dead, and Tarstin who is also dead, and you are elsewise already under a table.

ALYSON: That’s right.

DREW: I feel like some people would come over, like ‘excuse me,’ and I would flash my badge with my hulled-out blaster. “Don’t worry, I got this.”

CAMERON: (feigned fawning) ‘Ooh! He’s a marshal~!’

ALYSON: (feigned fawning) ‘Oh! A marshal~!’

CAMERON: (feigned fawning) ‘Wow~!’

DREW: “… Ma’am.”


LAURA: Xianna’s like spinning around trying to figure out her googles like “Woo! A marshal~”


ALYSON: There’s like a montage of everyone going ‘ a marshal?’

LAURA & CAMERON: (oohing and awing)

NICK: So, you are looting his pockets. In his pockets you find some very nice… I think he has some snuff. I think he has a pouch of very expensive snuff in a box. Do you want to open that box up?

DREW: Oh yeah.

NICK: I would imagine so. You find some very small gemstones in it, which is interesting. You also find a cred-stick, some—

DREW: I’m taking that.

NICK: –yeah, some keys to his speeder.

DREW: I’m taking those too. (laughs)

NICK: No weapons, which is a little surprisingly, and then a note, a perfumed letter that’s been folded and refolded several times.

DREW: Is there any identification on him?

NICK: On him? So he has the Imperial bars, those little boxes and things that mark him as a governor which is… eh, they’re green. You never see that in the movies, so they’re green boxes to show that it’s a civilian position, and he has a data spike. It’s kind of like a USB plug that he could use to key into things.

DREW: Yeah. I take those as well.

NICK: Yeah. Great. No one’s gonna think that’s weird. That’s fine.

DREW: Yeah. (laughs)

NICK: You’ve thoroughly intimidated most of the people who would have something to say about it, or they’re otherwise involved. I think Falx turns from his crowd management and sees what you’re doing, and you see him flinch a little, and then he—

DREW: Oh. He gets the eye. He gets the Jorus Kreel, like he goes to move and Jorus watches him, and there’s this moment, that complete Western like (whip crack noise) to the eyes, to this noise, and the slight twitch.


NICK: Falx raises his finger, and he opens his mouth. He’s about 20 yards from you. “Yeah…” He turns around and goes back to what he was doing and kind of shakes himself out a little bit, leaves you to what you’re doing. That’s what you mostly find there.

DREW: Cool, cool, cool. So, I have his cred-stick, his keys, I have his data spike, his code cylinders, snuff box with gems which is interesting… Have I missed anything, or is that all of it?

CAMERON: Perfumed note.

DREW: Ah, the perfumed note.

NICK: Yeah.

DREW: Which I obviously open and read, out loud.

NICK: Oh boy!

CAMERON: (laughs)

ALYSON: To yourself, like (mumbles)?

DREW: ‘My dearest love…’ What is the date on this?!


NICK: This is from, gosh, about a month and a half ago.

DREW: Interesting. This is on paper?

NICK: Yeah, well flimsy in Star Wars, but yeah.

DREW: it’s on flimsy, and from a month ago? Is it well folded, and read, and folded and read, and folded and read?

NICK: Oh yeah. Yeah.

DREW: … What’s his first name again?

NICK: Cornelius. It’s gotta be Cornelius.

DREW: “Cornelius… It seems that we have come to an impasse,” and I’m reading this out loud. (laughter) “It appears we have come to an impasse. My heart is no longer my own. Though you were false to me, know that I was also false to you.”


NICK: At this point, I think a lot of the gowned women are starting to drift over, like ‘oh, interesting.’

DREW: As they come around, Jorus stands up a little bit more. (louder) “For we had but a brief season where we were together, and our lives were as one, but no longer for I have found another. Though she found solace in your arms she has found more solace in mine, and we have… Oh my. Uh…” (laughter) “We have burned with the suns of Tatooine, that we might be together is my only wish and hope. I can no longer find in my heart that you make it thump-thump much like she makes mine. For this Cornelius, I say onto you, farewell. Do not look for me, do not weep for me, for I am happy. Signed, your loved wife, Mazelda.”

NICK: Xianna, I think you overhear that letter.

LAURA: (laughing) Oh, I absolutely do. When he pulls the note, I smell the perfume off the note, and I do that complete Urkel, ‘Did I do that?’ (laughs) Then he starts reading it and she’s like, ‘Oh yes, that was me~ I’m…’ and she starts scanning the room, picks out Karma, and starts putting her hands in the air, like ‘uh, Karma! Karma! Um. Yes.’ And starts pushing her way through the crowd over to Karma and goes, “Okay. So, Karma…”


LAURA: “Um, uh, oh… Heh. I forgot why I came over here. Um…”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Oh! Did you do any of that, by the way?”


LAURA: “Okay. Just checking. I figured it was not Tink, and almost certain it was not me…”

CAMERON: (laughing) “I really hope it wasn’t.”

LAURA: “I mean, I do not have a knife on me. I do have a gun. But, oh, there might be some issues. Haha!”

CAMERON: (laughing) “Uh-huh? Why did you come over here?”

LAURA: “Okay, so issue one: Oh wait, no… Wait, no, yes. Issue.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “So… I did talk to a man at the bar about drugs a little bit. He did tell the stormtroopers not to let us leave the party…”

CAMERON: “Okay?”

LAURA: “But- Ohh. Oh, but wait, he is dead, and some of the stormtroopers are dead… and no one is allowed to leave anyway, so that might not be an issue to begin with. Oh, but Silpin was definitely carrying a note that his wife, ex-wife, had written to him that may implicate me in the breakdown of their marriage.”

CAMERON: Karma’s just been staring at Xianna, kind of open-mouthed, as she meanders her way through sharing this information. She’s been twirling one of her head tails around her finger. “O-Okay… So, Silpin’s wife left him for you?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Have you seen her since that?”

LAURA: “(laughs) Oh, no! I was seducing her in order to steal from her. You know, like I do.”

CAMERON: “I forgot. Did you get arrested that time, or did you make a getaway that time?”

NICK: You didn’t get arrested.

LAURA: “Oh, no, I did not get arrested.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay.”

LAURA: “Not that time, at least.”

CAMERON: “Okay. So…”

LAURA: “I mean, I have been arrested a few times so I am most likely in some system somewhere…”

CAMERON: “We checked that. You’re definitely in the system, but not for that one. Okay. Interesting.”

LAURA: “And I mean, Silpin is dead now, so…”

CAMERON: “Yeah, so that’s less competition, I guess.”

LAURA: “Realistically, no one knows necessarily that I am the person being referred to in the note… except Falx.”

NICK: I think we get a cut- Would it be safe to say, Jorus, that you were performing this note to see if a reaction happened from people?

DREW: Oh definitely, yeah.

NICK: I think it would be safe to say we get a cut of the (whip crack noise) Western thing of Jorus’s eyes again watching Xianna go ‘… Karmaaa!’  and like run across the room.


LAURA: ‘Space mom~!’

DREW: He goes, “That’s what I thought.”

NICK: (smiling) Okay. Continue.

ALYSON: Perfect.

DREW: He also puts the note out and one of the ladies takes the note, a bunch of the ladies are waiting to read it, some of the gentlemen too, because they’re around there trying to read it closer.

NICK: You hear one of them go, “Ooh, he really censored that.”


DREW: “Yes. Yes I did… Look at the back.” There’s this shot of Jorus over here to the left, to the right there’s a gaggle, and you hear a flip and a gasp.


NICK: Yeah.

DREW: But Jorus does start making his way through the crowd towards the purple Twi’lek. He does take out a little notebook, and in it he’s got “Red ?, Yellow ?, Green X, Purple… Circle, circle, circle.” (laughter) That’s what he’s on his way to do.

NICK: Great. Karma, is there anything specific you wanted to be working on right now? You probably have about two minutes before he gets across.

CAMERON: Well, so I’d been following Falx when the lights went out. It was 15 seconds you said that the lights were out, but was there a significant jump once he started moving faster and I started chasing him where when the lights came back on he was in a drastically different spot than I was expecting him to be in?

NICK: Yes. He was headed towards the middle of the room, but when the lights came back on he was much closer to the stage, so it’s like he ended up about 45 degrees off of where you would have expected him to be, like he had changed direction when it was dark.


NICK: There was gunfire. Obviously he must have taken cover.

CAMERON: Yeah, and continued moving, so that you’re more likely to get shot.

NICK: Yeah.


NICK: Hmm. Maybe. I don’t know if that’s how guns work.

CAMERON: (smiling) I think it is.

NICK: Okay great.

CAMERON: That’s how Star Wars guns work.

NICK: Sure. Absolutely.

CAMERON: Well, if they’re trying to hit you… (laughs)

NICK: Uh-huh. Yeah, for sure.

CAMERON: Yeah. Okay, so when Xianna ran over I had been watching Falx making rounds. He didn’t end up dead and he was concerned he was gonna die, so I’m watching him to see what reactions other people are giving him for if potentially he was supposed to be one of the targets that died. Since I’m doing that, I want to roll a Perception check and see if I see Jorus mark Xianna and start coming after her.

NICK: Ooh. Yeah, I think Perception is probably the way to go. We’re getting tangled webs now. I think you’re doing this Perception as Xianna is freaking out a little bit and kind of rambling. You’re listening with one ear, and on the other—Ooh. Do we get a (whip crack noise) to Karma?

DREW: (laughs)

CAMERON: Yes. (laughs)

NICK: (laughing) This is the theme of this episode now, just the tie-dye.

CAMERON: (hums Western tune)

NICK: Yeah. So, game recognize game, I guess.

CAMERON: Alright. What’s the difficulty on that Perception check?

NICK: Would you say you’re trying to be subtle at all, Jorus?

DREW: Oh, Jorus is not a subtle man.

NICK: This would be easy.

DREW: He’s making a B-line. He’s like, “Pardon me. Excuse me. I need to be over there. Excuse me.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: This is the walk down the street in Tombstone with the coat flapping situation.

CAMERON: Alright. (laughs) Holy shit.

ALYSON: What?!


LAURA: Whoa.

CAMERON: Okay. I got three successes and two triumphs.

NICK: Ooh. Okay…

LAURA: She knows the day he was born… the color of his mother’s eyes…

CAMERON: (giggles)

NICK: So, let me make a suggestion for these triumphs. Karma has a storied history as an experienced bounty hunter. Do you just know Jorus?


DREW: Oh… Do I know you? I definitely know you.

CAMERON: (laughs) Probably.

DREW: I used to be a bounty hunter in my young days.

CAMERON: Then yes.

LAURA: Ooh! I imagine you’re facing Xianna so you’re seeing the back, and then she kind of turns a little bit and you see the full face, and that’s when you do the little (whip crack)  noise and you realize you know each other.

NICK: This IS a triumph, so it’s a good thing for you, so let that shape y’all’s relationship. Here’s what I wanna do. I want Karma—I’m taking the reins a little bit, but if you want to change your mind let me know.

CAMERON: That’s fine.

NICK: I want Karma to intercept Jorus because she recognizes this walk, and she puts things together very quickly, and I want y’all to talk out what’s going on a little bit. Before that, I’m gonna let y’all think about it a little bit… I wanna jump to Tink, because Tink has been doing stuff over in the background this whole time.

CAMERON: Okay. You said you were like 35?

DREW: yeah. I’m like 35, 36.

CAMERON: Okay, so we’re about the same age.

NICK: So you probably started bounty hunting around the same time.

CAMERON: Around the same time. Alright.

NICK: So, Tink, a lot of stuff has happened. There’s a droid that is not even trying to be sneaky a little bit, and there are some computer panels on the walls and some security systems, and there are a lot of suspicious, angry people. What would you like to do?

HUDSON: So… Where’s Whist?

NICK: Whist is… Ooh. I think Whist is currently hovering about five meters from Sila, kind of back behind her unobtrusively, and he is about head level. His comfort zone of floating is at like human height so that he can relate to people and things. He doesn’t get to very often, but he likes to.

HUDSON: I notice the droid and I think about it, and just think… I could just nab that, but it is audible, so it would notice and put out an alarm, so I’m not gonna do that. I look around. I see computer panels, you said?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

HUDSON: Alright. I walk towards the computer panels. Do I see anyone guarding them?

NICK: Actually, interestingly enough, you see a Rodian who is actually wearing light battle armor, kind of like a pilot suit and has a blaster, and he’s leaning against the wall near the light panel. He doesn’t necessarily look like ‘don’t come over here,’ but there’s a dude with a gun standing by it.

HUDSON: Alright. I walk over and say hi to the Rodian.

NICK: He looks at you and kind of tilts his head a little bit. (oddly): “Hi.”

HUDSON: “All this that just happened, you know anything about it?”

NICK: “I don’t not know anything about this.”

HUDSON: Alright. Do I kinda like check to see—


NICK: Yeah!

HUDSON: Alright. Perception?

NICK: Yeah, perception would work, or Charm if you wanna just try and be friendly with this poor pilot. Why are all my NPCs a mess?

HUDSON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Easy. He’s not supposed to be talking to people. I did not cast him with speaking lines.

HUDSON: Ooh. Okay. That is one threat and one success.

NICK: Okay. You’re being very friendly and everyone else at this Imperial gathering has been really nasty, so it’s kind of like hanging out somewhere where no one speaks the same language as you and finally finding someone who speaks your language. “Oh gosh, I’m so glad to see you. I don’t know a lot about this. I was just hired to fly some people here.”

HUDSON: “Well friend, what if I said I understand you and I know what’s going on?”

NICK: “I would love an explanation. I was promised no one was gonna get hurt, and here we are, and I can’t leave.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Really? So this means you are involved.”

NICK: “I didn’t expect to be involved, uh, although I guess thinking about it bringing all these rough and tumble characters to an Imperial gala was not the best idea. They just said go to Mustafar. Mustafar is a mining planet. It’s where these kind of people hang out. Why were there so many Imperials?”

HUDSON: ‘Listen. You can calm down. I just need to do some checks, so just get out of my way real quick,” and I try to move him out of the way to get to the computer system.

NICK: Do you just like shoulder bump him?

HUDSON: Lightly, not like super aggressively.

NICK: Okay. he bumps out of the way. “Oh… Um, okay…” and walks off.


HUDSON: Wow. This was a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be to get the NPC out of there.

NICK: Yeah. He doesn’t wanna be here.

HUDSON: Okay. I go to the computer. Does it have security cameras that are dark vision?

NICK: No it doesn’t. You see two things. You see a security feed. These are industrial security cameras. They do snapshots every 15 seconds, and they are just straight color, so it’s not going to be able to see in the dark. Next to that panel you see the light controls, and there’s a data spike jammed into it.

HUDSON: Alright. I pull out the data spike.

NICK: Alright. You have a data spike.

HUDSON: I inspect it.

NICK: Alright. I’m gonna need a slicing check for finding out something about this here data spike.

HUDSON: By slicing you mean—

CAMERON: Computers.

NICK: Computers check! Close enough. Eh, whatever, it’s just rules.

HUDSON: What difficulty?

NICK: Average.

HUDSON: Okay, so I have… Wait, those cancel… Alright, carry the two…

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: I have one success and four advantages.

NICK: Okay, so be thinking about those advantages. It is a pre-loaded program that will cut the lights for about 15 seconds. It’s one of those auto-run ones that you jam it in there and it’s gonna happen. It’s a nice program. It is a traceless program. Just to use some of your advantages for you, it is extremely sloppy that someone wouldn’t have pulled the spike out afterwards. If I can spend a few more of your advantages…


NICK: …you notice that Devaronian from earlier that’s been freaking out keeps looking at you, and when you pull out the spike you hear him go “aw kriff,” and then he just starts rocking in place. He’s having a little bit of a breakdown here.

HUDSON: I look over and see where Karma is.

NICK: Okay. I guess we’re jumping back to them now.


NICK: You see the marshal who you probably noticed before because he was making a show of himself, and he and Karma are about four meters away from each other walking straight at each other very purposefully. We’ll jump to them.

CAMERON: Okay. When I see him, I turn slightly to Xianna and say under my breath “Xianna, you’ve been made. Move.” And I like push her into the crowd and start walking towards him. (laughs)

LAURA: “What? What?! Okie. I am going to go find Sabos and Tink. Wait. No. Just Tink.”

NICK: (groans)

CAMERON: (laughing) Karma looks crestfallen for a second and then continues walking towards Jorus.

DREW: So, as the Twi’lek moves Jorus tracks on the Twi’lek, so the eyes don’t meet Karma exactly until Karma is almost right in his field of vision, and she gets so close so suddenly that he reaches for his blaster… but then sees Karma and goes, “Well, kriff. Karma? That you?”

CAMERON: (cheerfully) “Yes! Hi!”

DREW: (enthusiastically) “Karma~!”

CAMERON: (laughs) They hug it out.

DREW: And they hug—Yeah. This big hug.


CAMERON: “What are you doing here?”

DREW: “Oh, you know, just working.”

CAMERON: “Same here. I’m not… I got hired to help not get one of the people who didn’t die killed, so I guess I did that good.”

DREW: “Well, well done, well done.”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

DREW: “Well done. I’m here to just, you know, pick up somebody.”

CAMERON: (smiley) “Yeah. That makes sense. What have you been up to?!”

DREW: “Aw, you know, this, that and the other, a couple of scrapes but nothing too big. I went legit in the end.”

CAMERON: “(gasps) Nice!”

DREW: “Yeah, yeah, you know, benefits. Dental. And health.”

CAMERON: “Yup, that is helpful.”

DREW: “Yeah. It’s very nice, very nice to have.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. My boys are still on my parents’, because that was just way easier.”

DREW: “Oh yeah. Always good. It’s always good to do that. Yeah. I got married!”

CAMERON: “Oh! Congratulations!”

DREW: “Thank you! Thank you very much.”

CAMERON: “Yeah!”

DREW: “Yeah, it’s been nice, it’s been nice.”

CAMERON: “That’s great!”

DREW: “Yeah. Uh, hey! Hey, you wanna help me out?”

CAMERON: (laughs) “Sure!”

DREW: “Yeah?!”

CAMERON: “Yeah!”

DREW: “Okay! So there’s a purple Twi’lek, alright?”


CAMERON: “Yeah?”

DREW: “Yea. So there’s this purple Twi’lek, alright?”

CAMERON: “Uh-huh.”

DREW: ‘Now, I’m not entirely sure yet, but she might be a thief of some kind, and I’m supposed to track her down and bring her in for a couple of things. Now, it might be… where did she go… that one, there. So, if you wanna help me, the reward, for old times’ sake we’ll go 50/50.”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

DREW: “Alright?”

CAMERON: “Alright.”

DREW: “Alright”

CAMERON: “Do you want me to go chat her up, or…?”

DREW: “Yeah! Yeah.”

CAMERON: “You kind of have an aura going where like, I was seeing that you were getting a lot of attention as I was walking over here, so I may be a little bit more under the radar. Yeah?”

DREW: “Oh. Do you wanna pull a Corellian Shuffle? You wanna pull one of those?”

CAMERON: “Definitely. Yes. Let’s do that.”

DREW: “Alright. Let’s do one of those. Alright. You go chat her up, I’ll loop around. Alright. Here we go.”

CAMERON: “Alright. Okay!”

LAURA: So… Xianna would’ve been making her way towards Tink, maybe not all the way there by the time Karma catches back up with her.


LAURA: “Oh. Yes?”

CAMERON: (tone drops) “You’ve definitely been made.”


LAURA: “I mean, yes, I am the only purple Twi’lek, so…”

CAMERON: “Uh-huh, yeah, and he’s after you. He knows you’re a thief. He’s a very good bounty hunter.” (laughs)

LAURA: “Yes. Yes. Uh-huh. Okie. Um, so, problem, we can’t leave. What do you want me to do about that?”

CAMERON: “Uh, try and hide somewhere. Go to the bathroom and then just do something.”

LAURA: “I am a Twi’lek. What am I supposed to… I’ll just stand behind Tink.”

CAMERON: “Find a purple plant to blend in with. I don’t know.” (laughs)

ALYSON: (laughs) Oh my gosh.

CAMERON: “But I’m chatting you up right now, just know that.”

NICK: So, Sila, you’ve probably solved the mystery by now. What are you working on with the information that you have?

ALYSON: So, she studied the body of Tarstin Moon, she studied the readouts that Whist gave her, she stood up again and scanned the room herself, she’s got several options running in her head as possibilities. I would like to say with the advantages that I’ve stockpiled that she saw Tink go to the lighting panel…

NICK: Absolutely.

ALYSON: She saw this yuppie search the other body—

DREW: I beg your pardon.


ALYSON: –and ruin, RUIN that crime scene that she didn’t even get to look at in its entirety.

DREW: Don’t worry, I took care of it.

ALYSON: And she also saw the purple Twi’lek flit over there, and then flit back over there, and then now she can see the purple Twi’lek talking to someone else.

NICK: Mm-hmm.

ALYSON: She’s seeing these pieces starting to come together.

NICK: Mind palace.

ALYSON: yes, but one of the things that Inspector Sila Rowe really likes about solving these things is that there are so many possibilities, and she doesn’t like to spoil it for herself by flipping to the end of the book, so she likes to let them fall… like, she likes to let the moment die on its own before she goes ‘this is what happened.’

NICK: Ooh.

ALYSON: I think what she does is she stands up and says, “Whist.”

NICK: “Yes, marm?”

ALYSON: “I want a readout on Regional Governor Falx.”

NICK: “A new one?”

ALYSON: “Yes, an updated one, and compare it and contrast it to the last three.”

NICK: “By your command,” and he goes up high and does one straight down so it’s a lot less obtrusive. Are you looking for like body chemistry?

ALYSON: Yeah, and I wanna know what he’s done in this room in the last bit. He’s definitely been looking around and keeping an eye out, tapping his foot waiting for the stormtroopers to get there, but I’m assuming he doesn’t know I’m in the room.

NICK: No. I don’t think he’s noticed, or he may have marked you as someone he wasn’t expecting but he didn’t process all the way. He’s got a lot of plates in the air right now and you definitely use that to your advantage.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Cool.

NICK: Yeah. Make me a Perception check. This one’s gonna be hard, but you can have those two blues again because you’re using Whist. What a useful item I have created.

CAMERON: (laughs) How convenient.

NICK: So that’s three purples? Hard, yeah.

ALYSON: That’s two advantages and a triumph.

NICK: The way that’s gonna work is… Whist is unable to really get a read on what Falx’s deal is. Whist went for a pretty high depth scan trying to check footprint patterns and track his way through the room and what he was doing, and you have been experimenting with a really high level algorithm that can kind of calculate motive that way. It can’t handle this many people in the room, it’s not done yet, but with that triumph something else really useful and good can happen. I’m gonna leave that up to you. You can basically pull another piece of this puzzle in incidentally.

ALYSON:  Whist, I want you to make yourself useful to the Gigoran.”

NICK: “Interesting gambit, marm. Did you have anything particular in mind?”

ALYSON: ‘Just be useful, and keep me posted.”

NICK: “Yes marm, by your command,” and he descends down from the ceiling where he was scanning. You know there is a particular head swivel thing that he starts to do when he’s frustrated and his algorithms aren’t working. Tink, you feel the telltale feeling of a droid setting down nearby on a repulser. “Hello, my name is Whist. I couldn’t help but see that you’re trying to do some computer technician work. I happen to be particularly suited to that type of work. How can I help?”

HUDSON: “Oh, I don’t need any help. Thank you.”

NICK: “Oh, no, I must insist. I am programmed to be helpful.”

HUDSON: I look at it and just kind of squint my eyes a little bit, very suspiciously.

NICK: This is obviously an Imperial droid.

HUDSON: Yes. Am I near a hallway?


NICK: Yeah. I think the light panels are near an offshoot that go to the bathrooms, which people haven’t really been using.

HUDSON: I look left, and look right, and regardless of what I see I grab Whist and run to the hallway.


NICK: I won’t even make you roll for that. I like that a lot. So, yeah, you just straight pull him into the hallway.

DREW: ‘Am I being helpful?’

ALYSON: I do feel like there is a little blip that goes off for her that he’s been grabbed. They’ve got proximity alert set up so that she knows what’s going on.

NICK: Oh yeah, on your com unit, which you can have actually on a cool wristband if you want.

ALYSON: yes.

NICK: A little distress light turns on because it’s the 70s, so there’s a little yellow lightbulb screwed in.

ALYSON: “M-hmm.”

NICK: “Distress!” But yeah, you’ve got him in the hallway.

HUDSON: Yeah. I want to make sure- I knew that there would be a distress signal because I’m used to Imperial droids from my background, so basically, I may have to flip a point for this, but have a data spike that can shut off that signal and put the bot under my control.

NICK: Yeah, for a light side point you can, absolutely. That’s just in your bag of tricks?

HUDSON: Yeah. So I pull it out, stab it with the spike…

NICK: Ooh… Don’t make him flip that light side point. Flip me a dark side point instead. You think you grab that one, but instead you jab the Rancore Protocol into this droid.

HUDSON: Oh my…

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Yeah. So, the distress light goes off, it turns off and you’re like ‘oh, I guess he’s fine,’ and then it goes (buzzing, pop) and it breaks, like through some overload. The link is totally cut. The droid appears to be deactivated right now.

HUDSON: I push the on button.

NICK: It turns on, it looks at you, and goes, “Filthy human, I’ll destroy you for this!” All the arms come up, and there are corkscrews, and blasters…

ALYSON: And like scissors, yeah. (laughs)

NICK: Yeah. A magnifying glass for some reason.

ALYSON: (smiling) yeah, yeah, definitely.

NICK: And we’re gonna cut away from you.

DREW: (laughs)

NICK: Jorus, what is the Corellian Shuffle?

DREW: So the Corellian Shuffle…

ALYSON: (laughs)

DREW: …is where one of the bounty hunters distracts the prey, and while they are being distracted the other bounty hunter gets behind them and then distracts them, and then the other bounty hunter that was originally talking to them takes the person.

NICK: Okay. Ooh, okay. So…

CAMERON: The reason Karma agreed to it is because she would be the person who grabbed her in the end, so she feels like she still has control over the situation.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. It’s really interesting to me that Xianna is the wounded gazelle in this situation, because that’s not normally how this plays out.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: So yeah, I think we can pick it up right with… Jorus, I think you may overhear, ‘I’m talking you up right now,’ and then you’re right behind her. We’ll go from there.

DREW: “Excuse me, ma’am.”

LAURA: ‘Oh, uh… Ello. (laughs nervously)”

DREW: And so she turns around, and that is the cue for you to do what you’re gonna do. He goes, “I can’t help but notice that you seem to be out of sorts. Are you alright, ma’am?”

LAURA: “Oh, I am just fine. You know, just, there was a murder in case you did not see. I am just very nervous because of the murder, and I’m afraid I might get murdered again…”

DREW: “A-Again?”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Not again, not that I am getting- I have never been murdered. I am afraid that uh, what is, how uh… that the murderer will also strike again and that I will be murdered.”

DREW: “Here, have some water, uh, sit down…”

ALYSON: She’s like freaking out. (laughs)

CAMERON: Karma’s standing behind her and has binders in her hand and is trying, but Xianna is gesticulating so much…

DREW: “Ma’am, ma’am…”

LAURA: “Uh, yes, yes?”

DREW: “I just need you to calm down. I want you to put your hands behind your back. It just helps with the circulation.”

NICK: So, one thing I also want to throw in, you recognize some symptoms of she has very clearly taken impact which is like space cocaine, like recently.

DREW: (seethes) Okay, then it’s double circle…


LAURA: She puts her hands to her side and is kind of scanning the room to see if she sees Tink, and if Karma is still behind her.

CAMERON: Karma is still behind you.

LAURA: Would I see that Karma is now holding up binders?

NICK: I think the way the Corellian Shuffle is designed is that unless you completely turn around karma is very much in your blind spot, so I don’t think you’re gonna catch that.

LAURA: Okay. Yeah.

NICK: But when you look for Tink, I think from the hallway you hear like, pew-pew, pew-pew-pew, and Tink comes running out of the hallway with a gesticulating Whist going around the room and saying, “There’s been a murder!” Pew, pew-pew, pew-pew-pew!


LAURA: And Xianna’s just like, “Oh… Huh. Oh, found Tink. (giggles) Hello~!”

NICK: Tink goes running into the room.

CAMERON: Karma gets distracted by the droid that’s shooting.

DREW: Jorus also gets distracted by the droid.


LAURA: Xianna tries to meld back into the party while Jorus is distracted by Tink and them. If you need me to roll Stealth or Skulduggery, or I have Streetwise!

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: I’m thinking that’s a Stealth to do an Assassin’s Creed here.

ALYSON: Oh yeah!

NICK: I would believe that your critical injury to your foot may affect that a little bit.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, it will.

CAMERON: Can I give her a boost die for adding more distraction towards the droid, because I’m right next to him?

NICK: Okay, yeah, take a boost die.

LAURA: What would be the difficulty?

NICK: We’re gonna say hard. Jorus is a tough cookie. Space cookie.

ALYSON: Spookie.

(music cuts)

DREW: … Spookie?

CAMERON: (laughs) Yup.

NICK: (laughs)

ALYSON: You heard me.

DREW: Oh, wait, wait… What kind of space cookie is Jorus, do you think? Like, oatmeal, chocolate chip?

CAMERON: Like oatmeal raisin.

DREW: (gasps)


ALYSON: With walnuts.

DREW: I accept it.

LAURA: That would be three successes and two advantages.

NICK: Okay. Is there anything you want to spend the advantages on?

LAURA: When I get back into the crowd I want to see the green Twi’lek, and Falx is like right behind me, so I’m far enough away from Jorus and Karma that they won’t hear me and Falx, but that I don’t have to travel that far to run into him.

NICK: Okay. I think you meld back into the crowd and Falx is right there. You hear, “Whoa!” and you bump him, and he spills his martini into a lady, and it’s the yellow Twi’lek.

“Well I never!”

“Oh, you’re fine, sweetheart!” And then he turns around and goes, “Ah, Xianna! Everything appears to be going swimmingly as I am not yet dead.” In the background… Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew-pew-pew!

ALYSON: ‘There’s been a murder~’


NICK: A lot of the crowd is screaming and ducking under tables and jumping out of the way. Falx and a few of the others seem very nonplussed by this, for instance the scruffy Imperials by the wall are just kind of nudging each other. You see that most of the people with weapons visible see that Whist is only shooting up and instead see this as fun. The people who are ducking out of the way are people who are not used to gunplay.


NICK: Except for Tink who’s just sprinting across the room right now.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: I would like to link arm-in-arm with Falx and do the hand into my pocket, gun poking into his side, are you happy to see me deal.

NICK: “Oh wow. This really escalated, didn’t it?”

LAURA: “yes. So um, did you have anything to do with this? You know, the murders and the shootings? The pew-pews? You know.”

NICK: “I don’t really know why I would admit one way or the other, to be honest.”

LAURA: “Well, I mean… Eh. You might as well. No one is going to believe me.”

NICK: “Ooh, that’s true. I didn’t think about that. I honestly trust you and respect you as a professional.”

LAURA: ‘Oh thank you!”

NICK: “yeah! Put the gun a little higher. That rib’s a little bruised. If you could…”

LAURA: “She pushes it more into the bruised rib.”

NICK: “(groans, seethes)”

LAURA: “You do realize you are blackmailing me, so… heh.”

NICK: “Well I mean, it seems a little uncouth to complain about being blackmailed when you have a gun on someone.”

LAURA: “I mean, you already heard me saying we should just let you die, or murder you ourselves, so…”

NICK: “Yea. I really overestimated the good will from our last meeting, come to think of it.”

LAURA: “I mean yes, you know, have you met me? (laughs) So, did you murder them, by the way?”

NICK: Um… Roll me a Charm check. I’d love to just give this to you, but I feel like some sort of roll needs to be in order there.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: Unless Intimidation is something you would rather do.

LAURA: Oh no, I am not intimidating. What would be the difficulty?

NICK: Hard, but I think a gun to someone’s side is probably two blue dice.

CAMERON: Do you wanna flip a light side point?

LAURA: Eh, no. Psh.


NICK: Don’t give them ammunition.

LAURA: Three advantages. I probably should have flipped that point.

NICK: “I am not going to admit one way or the other, but—“

LAURA: “Okay, so yes.”

NICK: “—I will tell you that the bounty hunting gentleman over there, well I guess he’s a marshal now, but he definitely wants to arrest you.”

LAURA: “Okie. I already knew this. Can you give me like information I can use right now?”

NICK: “Those scruffy Imperial-looking gentlemen definitely shot these stormtroopers. I heard them talking about it.”

LAURA: “Okie. Did you hire them?”

NICK: “I can neither confirm nor deny!” He smiles really self-assuredly there.

LAURA: “So… So yes.”

NICK: “I can neither defer- (gibberish)”

LAURA: “(sighs) Oh my goodness.”

CAMERON: He’s been drinking too much.


LAURA: She would like to let go of the blaster and grab a pair of binders, and slap them on him, and I’m assuming that will be an Agility check of some sort.

NICK: Eh, I’ll just let you do it. I think it’s interesting.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: While that’s going on… Sila, your droid has been freaking out a little.

ALYSON: So, the little yellow alert goes off like he’s in distress, and she goes, “huh,” and then it (makes noises) and explodes, and she goes, “Hmm…” (laughter) Then, the next thing is Tink running back in with Whist behind, ‘there’s been a murder~’ and pew-pew-pew, and the Imperials giggling about it and the people being like, ‘Oh! Woo! Oh my gosh. Blah, blah, blah,’ and Tink is like ‘Ahh!’ running through. (laughter) Sila goes to intercept but also has one eye towards Falx and sees the purple Twi’lek again. She makes some calculations, shifts some of the puzzle pieces in her head, and goes for Tink instead. She intercepts them, walks directly towards Tink so that he has to step around her as he’s fleeing, and reaches out and says something to Whist to the effect of, “Authority Override 016.” She’s reaching for that data spike.

NICK: So, you give the override, and Whist says, “Yes marm,” and half of his arms go limp, and then he starts to power up again. When you wrap your hand around that data spike you actually get a very powerful charge. Something people might see, a powerful shot comes out of the robot, it makes a pretty impressive light show, it goes around Sila, and it actually outlines a thin barrier around her like some sort of personal shield. Anybody who’s been dealing with the outer rim or anything know that’s super rare, extremely expensive technology that shouldn’t exist. It flickers for just a second. The spike actually just drops to the ground between you all, and Whist drops to the ground as well. You see—gosh, it’s Star Wars—so there’s no screen, but you see a bunch of cogs start to spin and what you recognize as his reboot situation.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. She picks up the data spike and turns immediately to Tink.

HUDSON: “Was that your droid?!”

ALYSON: “Do you have a moment to speak with me?”

HUDSON: “Uh… I need to catch my breath.”

ALYSON: “Over here?”

HUDSON: “Uh… Sure?”

ALYSON: She does what Xianna basically did, links arms with him holding the data spike in her other arm and leaves Whist to reboot in the middle of the floor, and drags Tink across to a corner.

HUDSON: “I’m a little flustered here. What do you need?!”

ALYSON: “What do YOU need?”

HUDSON: “I need to get away from the murder droid, but I guess you deactivated it.”

LAURA: (laughs)

ALYSON: She waggles the data spike. “Is this one of yours?”


ALYSON: “Really?”

HUDSON: “Yes.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “Really… Wait, no, yes! Really! It’s not really mine, no, not at all.”

ALYSON: “It came from you.”

HUDSON: “No it did not.”

ALYSON: “You put it in the droid.”

HUDSON: “Nooo, that droid had it in there.”

CAMERON: (laughing) It seems like you’re lying.

NICK: I would like a Deception check versus Sila’s Perception.

HUDSON: Yes, I was waiting for that.

NICK: Oh gosh, what’s your Perception? It’s gonna add to his difficulty. This is gonna go really bad.

ALYSON: I have three little things filled in on Perception.


CAMERON: (laughing) So it’s gonna be three reds and a purple.

NICK: So it’s gonna be a purple and three reds versus your Deception which is a green and a yellow.


HUDSON: Yeah, probably a light side point there.

NICK: You can try. I think this ship has most assuredly sailed.

CAMERON: Do it. Yeah. Upgrade something.

HUDSON: So, I upgrade this to a yellow?


ALYSON: Do I have to roll too?

NICK: No. In contested rolls the one person’s stats…

ALYSON: It’s against the skill? Okay.

NICK: You get to be the negative ones.

ALYSON: Got it.


HUDSON: Oh my.

NICK: Oh good.

HUDSON: Seven disadvantages, two advantages.

CAMERON: So five threats?

HUDSON: Five threats is what I meant. Yeah.

NICK: Wow. Alright.


NICK: Here’s what we’re gonna do. Wonderfully enough for the roleplaying that kind of comes to a dead end, nobody will admit anything, everyone’s very stubborn about it. Tink, you fall prone. (dramatic bass noise) You are perspiring a little, you just straight slip. He falls out of your grasp. He just prat falls hard. You roll to get to your feet, and I think you’re just at a complete disadvantage right now. Would you like to spend any of those disadvantages to make your situation easier to interrogate at this point?

ALYSON: yes. I want proof that he’s the one I’m looking for. I know he’s the one I’m looking for, but I need proof because paperwork.

NICK: (laughs) What do you think that proof looks like, that you’re StarDestroyer1?

HUDSON: Oh, okay, the one that she’s after.

NICK: Mm-hmm. Remember, because you left that signature in a bunch of star destroyers that suddenly had bad things happen to them.

HUDSON: Oh man. Yeah, I actually keep a small notebook, like a little diary on me, and it has my signature on it like on the leather part that I’ve etched out for some reason, because I’m real cocky.


LAURA: Oh yeah.

NICK: It says StarDestroyer1 on it?


NICK: Oh gosh.

ALYSON: So you fall prone and you’re like ‘blegh,’ and she sees it slide half way out of your pocket or whatever. Is it your fancy belt that it pops out of the pocket of?


NICK: (laughs)

ALYSON: Cool. Yeah. She reaches down with her gloved hand, picks up the notebook, looks at you… “Nice belt.”

HUDSON: I grab the data spike and run.


NICK: Okay! Now we’re getting into the fun part. (rubs hands together) A lot of things happen at once. This is the part of the mystery where everything goes bonkers. A couple of things happen. Stormtroopers land outside in a carrier ship. You can see them, you hear them, it rattles the windows. This is one of the very big military ones. Thirty stormtroopers pop up and they start lock stepping up that walkway into the room. As soon as they hit the door, the Imperial officers with the loose guns freak out, flip a table, and start shooting at the stormtroopers.


NICK: (laughs) yeah. Falx laughs a little, breaks free from Xianna, and just starts to book it out of the room. You’re running for the door. The party is over, ladies and gentlemen. What do we do?

ALYSON: Sila sees the shooting start and sees Falx start to run. She takes after Falx and hits a button on the wristband for Whist to follow so that they can go get Falx.

LAURA: And Falx is in binders.

NICK: Oh yeah. He’s definitely doing the run, like he’s got his arms together and he’s kind of wiggle running, but he’s surprisingly fast, again, like someone who does jungle excursions as a hobby. He takes off down that hallway towards the bathrooms. Whist is close behind him, and Sila is physical test jogging, like the speed that she has to in order to pass the yearly exam, but she knows Whist has got it. They’re out, they’re gone, we’re gonna come back to that scene. I really like that a lot.


NICK: What is everybody else doing?

DREW: Okay, one, taking in that there’s now Imperial officers shooting at stormtroopers. That’s not my job. My job is the Twi’lek, so I’m gonna chase after the Twi’lek. I’m going to pull out of my pocket my communicator to press for my ship to come to where I am.

NICK: I have a question. Those ships I described earlier are all fair game if you like one of those, or you were late, so what is your Nightrider style ship?

DREW: There is a… It’s my personal modified U-wing.

NICK: The VW bus of Star Wars.

DREW: Yeah!

ALYSON: Absolutely!


CAMERON: (laughs)

ALYSON: Jorus…

NICK: It’s got those wide kind of spatula fins on the front that can snap in and out for speed settings. It’s got the short body on the back. It looks like a tuning fork of a ship. What does the paintjob look like?

DREW: It is painted red and yellow, but like a maroon and a mustard yellow, and the highlights are white, so it’s those three colors.

NICK: Okay.

DREW: It’s uh… Ah. Of course I’m gonna call it this. It’s called the High Noon.


NICK: That’s a good ship name.

DREW: It’s got ‘The High Noon’ on the side.

NICK: Does it have a pin-up girl painting on it?

DREW: Oh yeah, definitely.

ALYSON: “Classy.”

NICK: They ALL do. Ours does to.

DREW: But she’s modestly dressed, and she’s reading a book… (laughter) and she’s got spectacles, but she’s very attractive, and it’s in a pin-up pose.

NICK: Man. Okay. You call your ship, you’re running after Xianna and Karma. Tink, I’m imagining you hit the door, manage to barrel through the stormtroopers, we’ve got a Wyatt Earp situation, laser blaster all around you but they’re like burning holes in the sides of your fur but you’re not getting hit. You’re through the formation. They’re kind of ignoring you because your axe is on your back luckily and not in your hands and there’s people shooting at them. you start to go down the walkway. Karma and Xianna?

CAMERON: I was standing next to Jorus when he took off after Xianna.

NICK: Uh-huh.

DREW: Oh, and real quick, Jorus yells as he runs back, “It’s alright Karma. You’ve been out of the game a while. I know. It’s alright!”

NICK: (laughs)


DREW: “Don’t worry. We’ll get her!” As he runs out.

CAMERON: Psh. I already turned in this bounty. I’m not worried about it.


LAURA: Xianna hears this and is like, “Wait, what?!”

CAMERON: Karma gets on the coms. “Yeah, Xianna, run. I’m not gonna chase anymore.”

LAURA: Xianna’s so confused. Falx just broke free. She’s not really sure what the green Twi’lek’s doing back here. She really hopes she’s not the actual murderer. I mean, that would be crazy. She sees Jorus coming for her, and she’s going to make a B-line for the bar and try to get on the other side of that to also avoid any stray laser fire.

NICK: Okay, so you’re running for cover rather than the ship.

LAURA: Yeah. I think at this point going for cover would be easier than getting to the ship, because there’s officers outside the doors?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

CAMERON: And she can’t leave until we get there. (laughs)

LAURA: I don’t fly… Karma has the keys… (laughter) Our ship has keys, I guess.

CAMERON: I ba-bwoop it every time I get off, so there’s gotta be a key fob.

LAURA: Well yeah, because there’s Imperial officers outside the door there’s no way I’d get past all of them to get to the ship.

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: So I’m going to get behind the bar and actually pull out my blaster and hope that maybe something good will happen. I don’t have grenades, do I?

NICK: Oh gosh.

DREW: Oh goodness.

CAMERON: (laughs) Don’t throw a grenade in here.

LAURA: No, I just have bantha cakes.

NICK: This is a ballroom!

LAURA: I do have four bantha cakes in case anyone needs snacks!

NICK: Great. Okay. (laughs) We get a really cool shot of Xianna, I think at this point your cloak has blown free, and underneath she’s wearing a trench coat. It’s a very Blade Runner looking one. It’s very tubular. It’s got lots and lots and lots of pockets on it.

LAURA: You only see a few pockets. It HAS  a ton of pockets, but you can only see a few of the pockets.

DREW: Oh, okay.

NICK: Some of your associates like these kind of smuggler’s coats. You know that there’s probably a bunch of stuff in there that is not common. So, we get a cool shot of the boy Duke slide over the bar, glasses go everywhere, and Xianna’s down behind it. We’re gonna go to Karma next. What are you doing?

CAMERON: I’m gonna go assist the stormtroopers, but I’m gonna come up behind the shifty officers who flipped the table and start chucking them over the table.

NICK: (laughs) Um, we don’t need to roll for that. You grab one of them by the scruff and by the pants and just chuck them over. Before they hit the ground they are peppered with fire. Only stormtroopers fire that accurately. That guy’s done.

CAMERON: (chuckles)

NICK: And then you grab the other one. He goes, “Hey! What are you doing?!” And he goes to swing at you. Do you chuck him over too?

CAMERON: Mm-hmm!

NICK: Alright. You toss him up and it’s like skeet shooting, the guy’s just peppered and he’s down.

CAMERON: Was that it back behind it?

NICK: Yeah, it was just the two guys.

CAMERON: Alright. I do finger guns at the stormtroopers and walk off.

NICK: Okay. The stormtroopers go, “Well, that was really helpful. Uh… Thank you, ma’am.” We get a shot of these formations. They got the line kneeling, the line standing behind it, they’ve got the firing line, and they all kind of look at each other and shrug. You hear the armor clacking, and they start setting up perimeter around the room. You can tell they’re looking for whoever’s in charge.

DREW: “Trooper, that’s me.”

NICK: “Oh, uh… Right away, sir.” It’s one with a shoulder pauldron, it’s got red and black stripes on it because they’re on Mustafar and they’re color coordinated, and he lock steps over to you. “Secure the perimeter!” He comes up to you and says, “What exactly is going on here?”

DREW: “Jorus Kreel, Marshal, outer rim. Here’s my security codes.” And I hand him the governor’s security codes.


NICK: Yeah. You can see, it’s hard to read a stormtrooper, but his head cocks a little. He doesn’t report to Marshals usually, but he takes the cylinder that you had taken from Silpin, plugs it in, and the whole thing lights up. It’s basically every security clearance, listen to this guy, he’s in charge. “Oh… Uh, right away, sir. A pleasure to meet someone of your stature. What do you need us to do?”

DREW: “There’s a purple Twi’lek behind the bar. I want you to secure her.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: “Right away, sir.” And they all turn and start shooting at the bar.

DREW: “No! No! Don’t kill her!”


NICK: With that, we’re gonna jump to Sila real quick. I think that Whist has caught Falx on a walkway outside. It is out of the comfort barrier that they have, so it’s roiling hot, there’s ash, smoke and sparks flying everywhere, it’s very the end of Episode 3. His clothes are singed, he’s sweating and breathing heavily, and Whist has him around the legs. Falx is doing that dragging thing when a toddler holds onto it, trying to get further away, and you catch up to them there.

ALYSON: “Regional Governor Falx.”

NICK: “Oh, uh… I’m afraid we haven’t been introduced.”

ALYSON: ‘No, we haven’t. If we had you would’ve made sure that I wasn’t at a party that you were committing a murder at.”

NICK: “Yes, well, since you don’t have an invitation I’m sure you’ll see yourself out.”

ALYSON: “I’m sure you’ll see yourself out wearing those binders that someone put on you for me.”

NICK: “Oh… What exactly are you going for here, uh, Inspector, was it?”

ALYSON: “Imperial Inspector Sila Rowe.”

NICK: You see him physically blanch at the name drop, and he drops a lot of the pretense that he’s had this whole time. “Ah. Things seem to have gone a little topsy-turvy, haven’t they?”

ALYSON: “I should say so.”

NICK: “If you could have your droid release me I think we could talk about this in a more civilized manner.”

ALYSON: “I think, I can have my droid drag you back inside where you have a cooler head, and then we can talk about it.”

NICK: “Well, see, the thing is… Those stormtroopers, while accurate, are not particularly specific with the things they bring down, and I would rather not have additional holes added to my person at this time. I have a personal shuttle around the corner. I could escort you to your next place.”

ALYSON: “It’s very hot out here, Regional Governor. I suggest you talk quickly before you get too warm.”

NICK: “Hmm. This sounds like some sort of intimidation check, doesn’t it?

ALYSON: Absolutely.

CAMERON: Coercion.

NICK: Coercion! That’s the stat.

ALYSON: Okay, yes, vocab. Good.

CAMERON: Yes. (laughs) I was like, that is not a word on here. What is it called?

ALYSON: I super don’t have that~

NICK: You can twist it any other way if there’s something you would like to do.

ALYSON: I do have Negotiation, and there’s Streetwise too. I don’t know what you think is better.

NICK: I think a Negotiation would work here, probably, but you can have two blue dice because I know you still have some advantages in your pocket, and also he is at an extreme disadvantage at this point.

ALYSON: yes.

NICK: It is going to be hard. Yep. He has three Willpower. I gave this guy stats. You could flip a dark side point to upgrade that green to a yellow if you’d like. You should make it, statistically, that would just make it more likely.

ALYSON: Burn ‘em if you got ‘em.

CAMERON: That’s just a wash.

ALYSON: Really?

CAMERON: Yup. That’s nothing.

NICK: Eh. Ooh. My NPC lives to fight another day. So, here’s what we’re gonna do. I am going to flip a light side point actually, and Falx is going to monologue for a second.


NICK: “Well… I guess the only thing I miscalculated was your presence, my dear. Surprising… I don’t know how that happened, except if I invited you. Did you find your hacker friend?”

ALYSON: ‘I did.”

NICK: “Hmm. I noticed you went after me instead of him. I don’t expect your superiors will be particularly happy about that.”

ALYSON: ‘Don’t worry. I have what I need.”

NICK: “For now. They’re surprisingly slippery. Here’s how this is going to go. I’m going to get on my ship. I’m going to leave, and you’re not ever going to find me.”

ALYSON: “Really?”

NICK: “Yes. See, I believe my time with the Empire is probably officially over seeing as I just killed a regional governor and an inspector who was on my tail, and that ship is pretty much over. Now, I will say that I was trying to burn some of my associates at the same time, and that might be why I invited several members of the law attempting to hunt them. I’m a little disappointed in how that worked out, honestly, but I’m going to get on my ship, you are going to go arrest the people who will get you promoted, and I’m going to disappear into the outer rim never to bother you again. How does that sound?”

ALYSON: Alright, flip one of those suckers. She holds up the recording device…


LAURA: Yes~!

ALYSON: …clicks the button. “That sounds fine. Whist!” And Whist is gonna shove him over into the fucking lava.

NICK: Yes! Yeah~

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeesss~!

NICK: So, Whist drops back. You see he has a little tick that you’re not used to. Some of his lights are glowing red instead of the usual yellow they have.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Okay.

NICK: And his voice sounds different. He says, “Extrapolation: I just hate you organics.” And he shoves him. We get the slow-motion shot of him wide-eyed and falling backwards.

ALYSON: With the bracers on his hands still?!


NICK: Yeah. It goes straight back, it’s like he wanted to do the arms outstretched pose and couldn’t—he’s very dramatic—and he falls back, and there’s a moment of quiet, and explosion of lava comes up, and then a Lambda class shuttle rises up from below the walkway and he’s kind of splayed on the windscreen. He hits his elbow even with his arms bound together on the screen. “And I think that’s my cue to leave.” And they fly away.

LAURA: He’s so extra…


ALYSON: So, she watches him fly off, her expression shifting imperceptibly, then she looks down at Whist. “What happened to your voice?”

NICK: “I’m not sure at all what you mean, marm.” And he’s back to normal.

ALYSON: “Hmm. We have a lot to discuss, Whist. This was a very educational outing.”

NICK: “I look forward to learning more from you.” We’re gonna do a swipe cut.

LAURA: I would like to… When the fire first starts, Xianna does do the thing where she pops her head up, gets shot at, ducks back down, but then reaches up onto the bar, grabs a bottle, and pulls it back down with her.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: I want to flip a light side point and have there be a door around the corner of the bar that I can crawl to and hopefully get into that room without Jorus noticing me from the position he’s at.

NICK: Okay. Yeah. We get the shot of the stormtroopers all firing and Jorus going ‘no, no, no, I need them alive!’ Karma, you see that going on. Do you walk nonchalantly to the ship figuring that she’ll make it there? Are you gonna try to help your friend?

CAMERON: Karma throws a casual salute at a couple of the stormtroopers and just walks past them, because well she helped them so they’re just gonna let her leave now, and walks out the main door. Instead of heading directly towards the Afternoon Delight she heads around to the side that the bar would back out to and sees if there’s a door over there to try and come in from the other side to get Xianna. I don’t know if that is the door, if she finds the door and is like ‘ah-ha, I can help,’ and Xianna’s like ‘oh, hello’ and walks out.

NICK: Yeah. You walk hands in pockets, just casually over. There’s a lot of gunfire inside.

CAMERON: Hands in cloak.

NICK: Hands in cloak. You can hear through the walls Jorus yelling at the stormtroopers. They’re very enthusiastic about shooting.

DREW: They are very enthusiastic. They’re good boys. They do what they can.

NICK: “We mean well, sir.” Then, you walk around to the side, there’s a door, and you go ‘huh…’ and then it goes BANG and Xianna comes action rolling out, but not with a gun, with a bottle of whiskey in one hand. She holds it up triumphantly, and y’all make a break for the ship. I think Tink is in the cockpit flipping switches, but he doesn’t really fly regularly, so the hot tub is on, there’s some strobe lights going, it’s a very It’s My Birthday scene.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

NICK: Karma slides into the cockpit, flips the switches down, and the ship goes quiet and then lifts off and starts to go. Jorus, I think we get a scene of you looking over the bar with all the smoke and the shattered glass and everything, and you see the door kind of cracked.

DREW: “(heavy sigh and groan)” He sees that, looks over, he jumps over the bar, looks around the corner, and he opens the door, and he can see the ship going. He sighs, looks back at the troopers, and goes, “Drink your fill, guys.” He shuts the door just as the High Noon comes down, and it doesn’t even land. It’s kind of on this hover as the side door opens and he rushes to it to jump in. his pilot is an Ewok by the name of Jubs, (laughter) and he’s this grizzled, old Ewok whose got scars and tattoos, but the tattoos are just like burns in the fur in different designs. He’s got this grizzly, almost Wookie-looking beard, and he’s got a Wookie-looking bandolier on him. Jubs was raised by Wookies.

NICK: Oh okay, great. We need a whole podcast about Jubs.

ALYSON: You got it!


DREW: He goes in and goes, “Jubs! Jubs, I want you to follow that shuttle. You got that, Jubs?” He rushes up as the ship begins to take off and he jumps in the co-pilot seat. We see on his side, because he doesn’t fly, Jubs flies, because Jubs is a freaking amazing pilot… We see there’s a picture of a woman, he looks at the picture, kisses the picture, and goes, “Don’t worry, Erma. We’ll find ‘em.” It says ErmaKreel, birth date such and such, death date this year.


NICK: Jubs looks at you and goes, “Yub nub!” (laughter) And they take off. The final shot we get is the High Noon pulling up out of atmosphere and the Afternoon Delight is just ahead, and in the Afternoon Delight we get a shot in the cockpit of proximity sensors going off. Jubs flips some switches in the cockpit and pounds a button and we get just 90s anime amounts of rockets coming out of this U-wing and they’re all arching at it. The proximity alert gets louder and louder and louder. Tink is in the engine room preparing to repair whatever horrible disaster is about to happen, (laughter) and right before the missiles hit Karma throws it into hyperspace and snaps away, and all the missiles hit and there’s a huge explosion.

DREW: It jumps back to Jorus in the cockpit, and he goes, “(sighs) … Drinks?”

NICK: “Jub nub!”

DREW: “Alright.”


NICK: That’s the end of the episode! Ba-naaa~!

(cheering and clapping)

NICK: Oh boy. That was so much fun, y’all.

CAMERON: (laughs)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging onto iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and will make the squad feel special when we read them.

Sila Rowe is played by Aly Grauer. She can be found on Twitter at @dreamstobecome

Jorus Kreel is played by Drew Mierzejewski. He can be found on Twitter at @worldstoforge.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. You can find him on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Jorus’s theme is Glueworm Evening Blues by Lobo Loco.

Sila’s theme is Albinoni’s Concerto for 2 Oboes in F Major Opus9 no3, 2 Adagio – performed by the Advent Chamber Orchestra.

The “dramatic letter” song is The Gate of Evermore by Livio Amato.

The “there’s been a murder” song is Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No 3, 3 allegro performed by the Advent Chamber Orchestra.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. See you next time.

For part two of our popsicle series we have Xianna’s Creamy Caf Popsicles! These popsicles have never been directly referenced on the show, but they are heavily influenced by Xianna’s well known love of caf (with and without added whiskey). This caffeine-filled treat has a creamy vanilla layer and a rich chocolate and cold brew layer.

All the ingredients

For the creamy layer we have half-and-half or creamer (we’re using an almond milk creamer), sugar, vanilla bean paste, and a small pinch of salt.

For the mocha layer we have sugar, cornstarch, cocoa powder, chocolate, cold brew coffee, milk or dairy alternative, vanilla extract, and a pinch of salt. We used homemade cold brew and unsweetened almond milk, but store-bought cold brew works great and any dairy or dairy alternative should be fine.

Creamy layer mix

Mocha layer mix

Everything for the creamy layer gets mixed together and then distributed evenly amongst the popsicles molds. Place the mold in the freezer for them to set.

While that layer freezes we’ll make the mocha layer. Heat the sugar, cornstarch, cocoa, chocolate, coffee and milk in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly until until the mixture thickens. Remove it from the heat and whisk in the vanilla extract and salt.

Both layers in the mold

Once the mocha mixture has cooled down fill in the molds. Place the popsicle sticks and put the mold back in the freezer until fully set.

Xianna’s Creamy Caf Popsicles [makes 8-12 popsicles, depending on mold size]

1 cup creamer or half-and-half
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste
Pinch salt

1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 tablespoons chopped chocolate
1 1/2 cups cold brew coffee
1 cup milk or dairy alternative
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch salt

In a large measuring cup or bowl, whisk together the half and half, sugar, vanilla bean paste, and salt. Fill up the popsicle molds with about 1 to 2 ounces of cream mixture. Place the pops in the freezer to let this layer firm up for 30 to 60 minutes.

Heat the sugar, cornstarch, cocoa, chocolate, coffee and milk in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly until until the mixture thickens. Remove it from the heat and whisk in the vanilla extract and salt. Let the mixture cool to room temperature.

Once cooled, remove the molds from the freezer and finish filling each mold with the cold brew mixture. Freeze the pops for 4 to 6 hours.

We all know Tink loves his popsicles. They’ve appeared over many episodes and a whole room on the Afternoon Delight was filled with them at one point. So today we’re making Tink’s flavor of choice cherry, but with a creamy yogurt swirl.

Be on the lookout over the next month for Karma’s and Xianna’s popsicle recipes.

This recipe is only 5 ingredients, and outside of the freezing only takes about 5 minutes to make (if you’re using frozen or pre-pitted cherries).

First we puree the cherries with 2 tablespoon of the honey and a pinch of salt. The final texture can be as smooth or as chunky as you want.

Then, mix the yogurt, another pinch of salt, the remaining 4 tablespoons honey, and vanilla extract or paste, if using. We’re using nonfat Greek yogurt and a little bit of both vanilla extract and vanilla bean paste.

Next we pour half of the cherry mix between the molds. Layer the yogurt mix on top, and then the rest of the cherry mix.

To swirl the mixes together take a butter knife, a thin spoon, a chopstick, a popsicle stick, or anything thin and flat and stick it into the popsicle mold. Move it up and down in a sort of zig-zag pattern. Do it only a few times for chunky layers, or really go at it for a finely marbled popsicle.

And then freeze! After 4 or so hours, depending on your freezer and mold size/shape, your popsicles will be ready.

Cherry Froyo Popsicles [makes 8-12 popsicles, depending on mold size]

3 cups fresh or frozen cherries; pits and stems removed
6 tablespoons honey
3 cups Greek yogurt (any %fat)
2 pinches salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract or vanilla bean paste; optional

Puree the cherries with 2 tablespoons honey and a pinch of salt.

In a separate container combine the yogurt, remaining 4 tablespoons honey, a small pinch of salt, and vanilla, if using.

Divide cherry mix between popsicle molds. Top with the yogurt mix. Use a spoon, butter knife, or stick to gently swirl the two mixes together.

Place in the freezer and allow to fully freeze, about 4 to 6 hours.

Word document download: Episode 16 Blackmail and Bacchanal

PDF download: Episode 16 Blackmail and Bacchanal

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 16:
Blackmail and Bacchanal

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Starting off, I want to remind everyone about our current Twitter drive. We’re currently at 116 followers, which means we’re 9 away from a whole bunch of bonus content. When we reach 125 followers we’ll be doing our final Twitter poll for the creation of our blue Gungan friend, who by the way is a circus acrobat and loves Sabacc and making jewelry. (laughing) These were all decided by listeners.

If you haven’t joined this crazy internet party you really should. It’s been a ton of fun. Jump online and say hello. Also, we’ll be releasing more bonus episodes on off-weeks after we get there, and our first ever blooper reel, so there’s lots of reasons to help us reach our next goal. Please follow @Tabletop_Squad on Twitter.

In addition to all that, I’d like to thank PirateRowan for their thoughtful and comprehensive review. PirateRowan, your enthusiasm and engagement online has been extremely fun and we appreciate the review.

Okay, last thing: These episodes were recorded LIVE AT GENCON. The squad made a pilgrimage up to Indianapolis and we brought our gear with us. The audio’s pretty clean, but you may notice we have a bit more echo than you’re used to. The room had different acoustics, and there wasn’t a ton I could do about it. It’s pretty minor so hopefully it’s not too distracting.

Also, we had guests on the show. Drew and Aly from the Welcome to Warda podcast will be with us the next few episodes. Warda is one of my absolute favorite worlds and podcasts. You can find them at or @WelcometoWarda on Twitter. Check It out!

With that done, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron. This is Episode 16 coming to you live from GenCon. Go around the table, introduce everybody and the characters they’re playing, and we have a couple of special guests today we’re super excited about. Let’s start with Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: Lovely to have you with us. Up next we’ve got Laura.

LAURA: Hello. I’m Laura, and I’m playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Awesome. Up next we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello! I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Wonderful. Up next, the first of our two special guests today, we’ve got Drew. Drew, tell us a little bit about yourself.

DREW: Yeah. Hi, I’m Drew Mierzejewski. I am an actor and creative based out of Orlando, formerly Chicago. Me and my wife Aly do a lot of things. We do Warda, we do game design, we do fun stuff to, you know, pass our hours until we die. (laughter) And that’s what we do.

ALYSON: Wow. Amazing.

NICK: Great. And who are you playing for us today, Drew?

DREW: I’m playing Jorus Kreel, a Human smuggler.

NICK: Wonderful. Up next, as Drew mentioned, we’ve got Aly.

ALYSON: Hi! This is Aly. Drew an I are the co-creators of Warda, which is a podcast, an actual play, and an upcoming roleplaying game that we’re working on.

DREW: I always forget that, yeah.


ALYSON: Yeah, that thing that we’re doing. We have a podcast that you can find on all your podcatching apps and devices. It is set in an original fantasy world that we created together, and it’s full of mystery and romance and adventure, and social commentary, and social conflict, and society… and parties. It’s a lot of fun.

DREW: It’s a lot of fun. And clothes, lots of clothes.

ALYSON: So much fashion.

DREW: So much fashion.

ALYSON: We elevator pitch it as a mixture between Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, and Agatha Christie. I mean, in my opinion, that’s the perfect cocktail.

DREW: Yeah, that’s a great show.

ALYSON: Right there. Yeah.

NICK: (laughs) Great, well we’re glad to have you with us. Who are you playing today?

ALYSON: Tonight I am playing Sila Roe, a Human Imperial Inspector.

NICK: Wonderful. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out. Last time we were with the crew of the Afternoon Delight, you were on a secret space station in the middle of nowhere. You finally met your mysterious benefactor, Sentinel, face to face. He gave you kind of a run-down on what your actual mission was, which was that you were going to destroy potentially a fleet to clear the way for a Rebel mission of some kind. Then, as he was getting ready for you to do productive things, you got a call from a Mr. Falx, Regional Governor of the Empire, who essentially blackmailed him into sending you all to a completely different location and do something completely different.

Am I missing anything? That sounds about right, where we left off.

CAMERON: That sounds about right.

LAURA: Oh. He was definitely not a former Jedi, at all.

NICK: Oh, Sentinel? Yeah.

LAURA: Definitely not.

NICK: No, absolutely not. He’s just a guy, right?

LAURA: Mm-hmm. Normal person.

ALYSON: Disappointing.

NICK: With like a brown bath robe.

LAURA: Yeah. He just has like brown robes for no reason.

ALYSON: Boring.

NICK: Yeah.

DREW: You have Ben Kenobi out there on Tatooine.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Exactly. Yes.

HUDSON: Yeah. The wind moved that vase. The wind definitely moved that vase.

NICK: (smiling) It was the wind. It was not the Force.

ALYSON: Not the Force.

NICK: Okay. Great. Before we get started we’re gonna do the Destiny Roll. Everybody roll me one of them there white dice.

CAMERON: I got one dark side.

DREW: One dark side.

ALYSON: One dark side.

LAURA: Hudson and I both got two light side, so that’s four!

CAMERON: Heck yes.

NICK: So what does that put our total at?

CAMERON: So that puts us at four light side, three dark side.

NICK: Alright.

LAURA: Eh, okay.

NICK: So, Aly and Drew, like I was saying off-mic, you all being representatives not necessarily from the Afternoon Delight will be using dark side points and the crew will be using light side points, and will be using that effectively I hope. With that, we’re gonna go ahead and jump on in.

We start with the camera aimed into deep space. It’s quiet and still. A small comet lights the sky in the far distance. Then, there’s a swoosh and a bang. The Afternoon Delight stretches and snaps into place, coasting under its own momentum, running lights flashing. This is the first time we’ve gotten a good exterior look at the Afternoon Delight in a while.

The outside of the two side compartments are scored and covered in smoke. The middle section, including the cockpit, seems to be in decent condition, but towards the back of the ship there’s a large crater above one of the engines. One of the emitters is sputtering causing the steady blue glow to cut out periodically. A close look would also reveal a sheet of armor plating working its way free, again, as if it had been slid into place but the recent trauma to the hull had broken it free.

As the ship drifts the camera turns to follow it. Below the Afternoon Delight we see the planet Mustafar. Some listeners may remember it as the crazy lava planet that Obi-Wan and Anakin fight on in Episode 3.

CAMERON: (giggles)

NICK: The planet looks like an angry, glowing eye floating in space. It is crossed with flaming lava, and what little atmosphere it has seems to be mostly smoke; an inhospitable world with the only inhabitants being miners and industrial droids. The ship begins its descent towards the north pole of the planet. We get a shot of the ship’s cockpit. Who’s sitting up front currently?

CAMERON: Probably Karma, as I think I’m the- I bought ranks in both Piloting: Space and Piloting: Planetary last time, as I felt that might come up!

NICK: Yeah. Go figure.


NICK: So, what are you doing, coasting in?

CAMERON: Yup. I’m still sitting in the co-pilot seat.

NICK: Tink, Xianna, what are you all doing on the ship currently?

LAURA: How long has it been since we left?

NICK: It’s about a five hour jump.

LAURA: Oh. Xianna’s definitely still passed out.

NICK: Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

LAURA: Sleeping or passed out. Probably both.

HUDSON: I’m walking around sweating bullets trying not to let everyone know how much the ship is screwed up right now, (laughter) because that was kind of my bad, but no one knows that yet.

CAMERON: It’s still flying. It’s fine!

HUDSON: Yeah! It’s fine.

NICK: I’m sure it’ll never come up.

HUDSON: yeah.

NICK: Yeah. Great. Okay… A yellow light pops on in the dashboard of the ship. When you hit the corresponding button a voice fills the cockpit. “Greetings flight crew of Imperial Transport: Gibbous Moon. We have your reservation in hand. Please proceed to the uploaded coordinates.”

CAMERON: “Thank you?”

NICK: Beep-boop. They just hang up on you.

CAMERON: (laughs) I proceed to the coordinates.

NICK: Yeah. We get a nice shot of the ship swinging in towards the north pole of the planet. It’s a little less smoky over there. The facility you’re directed to is not what you would normally see on Mustafar. The heat on this part of the planet is less than you would expect, only enough to make you sweat profusely, not enough to burn you immediately. The landing pad is a glossy, white platform hanging over a lava-filled chasm. You land easily, and looking up through the view screen of the ship you can see that the smoke and ashes are kept at bay by a low power shield that covers the facility.

The pad is mostly filled with lambda class shuttles, those are the winged ships that fold up, and there are luxury space yachts and civilian ships as well. It’s about what you’d expect except a couple of ships stand out. You see a Z95 Headhunter, it’s like an X-Wing but older and kind of stubbier. It’s painted a non-descript tan color, but has large cargo containers under the wings that could be used to hold additional weapons or supplies. You also see an Imperial ball craft. It looks like the cockpit of a TIE fighter but with one thin wing extending off the back. These are extremely rare, but are sometimes used by important Imperial agents on infiltration missions as they are easy to hide on planets. You also see a Skipray Blastboat, a military surplus vehicle often used by small crews of bounty hunters due to its durability and firepower. (smiling)

CAMERON: (giggles)

NICK: It looks like the Star Wars version of a military equipped minivan. You also see a Star Viper painted red, which is a civilian class fighter ship that looks like an unfolder flower. You know from experience that those can lay down some pretty heavy damage in a dog fight.

You all land. Before you exit the ship you see several Imperial attachés and government officials exiting shiny space yachts. They’re wearing dress uniforms and formal attire. The women you see that aren’t in uniform are wearing fine ball gowns. This appears to be a formal affair. What’s your plan?

CAMERON: I’m sitting in the cockpit, and I’m the only one who can see it at the moment. As I started the descent I turned on the full ship coms and told Xianna to wake up.

LAURA: “(sleepy) Wha— Huh?”

CAMERON: “We’re landing!”

LAURA: “Oh… Oh- Okie…”

CAMERON: “So just START waking up.”

LAURA: “(weakly) No…”

ALYSON: (laughs)

CAMERON: “Alright. Great. Cool. Tink, can you go get Xianna up?”

HUDSON: “Yeah. Yeah. I can do that.”

CAMERON: “Thank you.”

HUDSON: “Just a second. I need to get my formal belt. Just, it looks pretty fancy down there.”

CAMERON: (laughing) “Okay, great, yep. I was just gonna bring that up.”

HUDSON: “(abruptly) Xianna, get up.”

LAURA: “(bitterly) Okay fine.” Yeah, Xianna would get up, actually put clothes on. She found a boot that fits, right?

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, that happened.

NICK: Yeah. We spent way too long describing your footwear situation.


LAURA: Yeah. She puts her boots on, gets dressed, and makes some caf. The bottles of Corellian whiskey are still in the kitchen area, and there’s a pretty good chance that her cup is not completely caf.

NICK: Cool. So, mechanically what I’m seeing here is you have two options with evaluating the situation you’ve been dropped into, because you didn’t have any background knowledge. We can do kind of a sliding scale here. You have that costume closet with a bunch of stuff in it.

CAMERON: That’s where Karma was headed. (laughs)

NICK: Yeah. You can dress as formal and blend in as you want, and go really elegant, but you’re gonna lose your armor bonuses and you’ll be more vulnerable if something goes wrong, or you can slide it all the way to you’re going in full combat-wise, but you’re gonna stand out really intensely. You can try to do something in the middle, you’re just gonna have to explain what that looks like.

CAMERON: Karma climbs down from the cockpit and heads to the closet and takes her cape out, and puts her cape on.

NICK: Okay. you’re wearing your battle armor with your fancy Imperial cape.

CAMERON: It’s not actually an Imperial cape, it’s just a black cape with embroidery on it.

NICK: Okay, so you’re wearing battle armor and a fancy cape.


NICK: Okay.

LAURA: It looks awesome!

CAMERON: It does! And as soon as I put it on and walk out of the costume closet area I start sweeping around all of the corners very dramatically with it.

NICK: Does it still smell like smoke and destruction?

CAMERON: No, because I wasn’t wearing the cloak when the herdship broke up. It was already on the ship.

NICK: Yeah, that’s fair.

CAMERON: So it smells wonderful.

NICK: Tink, you mentioned you were wearing your formal belt. I’m gonna assume that has the same armor bonus.

HUDSON: It does have the same armor bonus.

NICK: Which is zero, from what you were wearing.

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: Yes, exactly. Actually, “Xianna, do I need to have anything else on to make me stand out as one of your guards, maybe, or something other than a Gigoran?”

LAURA: “Ooh! Let’s look in the closet!” (laughter) And she definitely disappears into the closet and is throwing—

HUDSON: Montage.

LAURA: Yeah.

ALYSON: It’s a really quick montage.

LAURA: Full montage. There’s some scarves, some hats, some brooches, I think we just settle on a cute little newsy style hat.

NICK: Ooh.

HUDSON: “I like this.”

ALYSON: (smiling) Oh my gosh.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “You look lovely.”

HUDSON: “Thank you. I feel lovely.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

DREW: And life was never the same again…


NICK: We gotta change all the art.

ALYSON: Upgrade!


LAURA: And then… Xianna’s gonna look to see if there’s a similar cloak to what we had given karma, big enough that it just covers the trench coat, not necessarily- it doesn’t have to have a hood. She’s not trying to completely hide the fact that she’s a Twi’lek, just trying to hide the coat and not have to put on a fancy dress and lose all of her items.

NICK: Okay. Y’all can do the cloaks. That’ll work. It’s not gonna stand up to the most deep look, but it’ll get you in the door, for sure.

CAMERON: So, I’ve been swooshing around with my cloak, and then I see Tink’s hat and I just don’t feel like I’m quite at the level that Tink’s hat takes him to, so I’m gonna go back to the costume closet. I want to do the belt thing with the cloak, like Diana does in Wonder Woman, so that it’s kind of a dress with a cape attached to it, so it looks more form fitting and less like I just threw on a jacket.

NICK: Ooh. Do you put your vibro-sword down the back?

CAMERON: That’s where it is.

NICK: Okay. Okay.

CAMERON: It doesn’t pop up over the cloak, and it’s not nearly as pretty as that sword. It’s just got a boring, black handle. But yes, I’m now in a dress-type garment.

NICK: Well, thank y’all for dressing up and neatly side-stepping the mechanical choice that I gave you. That’s great.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Awesome. So, it takes you a while for you to change into your clothes. We get a low angle shot of the boarding ramp of the ship as it drops to the landing pad and the crew exits. Describe y’all’s exit out onto this shiny white platform filled with fancy people.

DREW: (makes the beat to Back in Black by AC/DC)

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA & ALYSON: (join in the song)

ALYSON: It’s like slow-mo.

NICK: (laughs)


LAURA: Xianna is in front being the face, she is definitely in front. Then, Karma is behind her slightly off-set to the right, and then Tink is even another step back slightly off-set to the left.

CAMERON: You need to be able to see all of our costumes in the shot so we can’t be directly behind her.

LAURA: Yeah. The shot is like slightly downward-up, and we’re like backlit a little bit.

ALYSON: Mm, yeah.

CAMERON: Because the lava behind is making the explosion type thing with the slow-mo, but not actually exploding anything.

NICK: Oh yeah. A rock definitely falls off a cliff wall into it so we get the (burst noise), get the spray off of that.


ALYSON: Perfectly timed.

NICK: Yeah. And then also, the temperatures are different enough that a little bit of ground fog is coming up out of the ship too, so it’s a good look.

DREW: Ooh.

ALYSON: The production values are very high.

NICK: Just on this episode, though.


LAURA: Tink is gonna get so sweaty.

NICK: Oh, it is extremely warm.

CAMERON: (laughs) Ew.

ALYSON: Do you get floofy when it’s this warm?

HUDSON: I more get wet, and it’s kind of gross, like me and body fluids have a really torted history in the past.


LAURA: Yeah.


DREW: So it gets like stringy?

LAURA: Yeah, like matted.

HUDSON: Yeah. That’s actually a word we’ve used to describe it in the past.

NICK: (laughing) It’s not great.

LAURA: In the jungle, we definitely said he smelled like wet dog, and was a little frizzy.

ALYSON: Oh Tink.

NICK: Yeah. Poor Tink. Alright, so you exit with your awesome backlit shot, exploding lava… The main platform condenses down into a walkway, and a shined and cleaned protocol droid is standing at the exit of the landing pad. It gestures at you as you get close. “Welcome to the Imperial Gala. Please continue up the walkway to the festivities.” Do you continue up the walkway? Do you wanna ask the droid anything?

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna keep going. There’s a party.

CAMERON: “Thank you?”

NICK: ‘You’re welcome.” Droids have solid faces. This one looks pleasantly surprised that someone acknowledged it.

CAMERON: (smiling) I figured it might be.

NICK: Yeah. Tink, you doing anything or are you following?

HUDSON: I’m just following.

NICK: Okay. The walkway is a meandering gangplank. It has no handrails, but it is lit from below with periodic spotlights. A red glow from the lava and the harsh spotlights cause the partygoers to look like wandering spirits as they head inside. The doors to the gala are held by two stormtroopers standing at attention. They’re so motionless you’re not sure whether they’re statues or not.

The inside of the ballroom is stunning. The floor is clear transparesteel allowing you to see straight down to the roaring magma below the structure. There are waiters in tight, black cat suits carrying champagne and hors d’oeuvres. There are some stand-up cocktail tables scattered around and large round tables covered in white tablecloths with glowing arrangements of igneous rocks around the edge of the room, although few of the partygoers are sitting.

Most of the men in the crowd are wearing Imperial dress uniforms, although there are a few men in tuxedos scattered about. The women are wearing increasingly elaborate gowns and hairstyles and cluster around each other for a few minutes at a time before scattering away to form new groups, usually leaving one behind looking crushed and overwhelmed. The whole gathering has a predatory air.

There are a surprising number of non-Humans at this party as well. Several of the servers are Twi’leks, you see a Davronian man speaking with some Imperial officers, and a couple of Rodians are leaning against one of the glass walls. There are two other stormtroopers in the room. They are standing at the far side of the ballroom on a small raised stage flanking an empty podium that looks like it’s set up for speeches later.

Now would be a great time for our additional characters to enter the stage, I think. Drew, Aly, what are your characters up to in this shindig?

DREW: I’m fashionably late, so uh, what are you doing?

ALYSON: You’re not there yet? Is that what you’re saying?

DREW: No, I’m not there yet.


ALYSON: (sophisticated) Sila Rowe is moving shark-like throughout the crowd, very, very bored, with a droid floating alongside behind her tailing her as she goes. She doesn’t stop to talk to anyone, but she just watches everything as though she’s seen it a million times before and will see it a million times again. Nothing about this is impressive for her. Nothing about this is interesting, yet, but the night is young.

NICK: I think we definitely get an overhead shot of all these clusters, and every time Sila gets close they scatter like sharks swimming through a reef, and then they come back together, and when they come back together the droid swoops in close because they’re not expecting it and you hear a snapshot noise as it takes pictures of different people, and then they all look really nervous.

ALYSON: So, people are noticing Sila Rowe moving through? They’re very aware of her?

NICK: Yeah!


NICK: I think, the impression that I’m getting, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, is that Sila has an aura that freaks people out a little bit.

ALYSON: yeah. It makes them very uncomfortable.

NICK: Yeah~ Most of them look confused at the same time, too. They’re not sure what’s going on, but they know they don’t want to talk to you. (laughs)

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Yeah. She is not wearing a gown. She is in dress uniform with everything pressed and crisp, utilitarian.

NICK: So, Sila is an Imperial Inspector, which may or may not be an actual EU thing, so what does an Imperial Inspector’s dress uniform look like?

ALYSON: Interesting. She’s got one of the little hats.

NICK: Have to.

ALYSON: Gotta have a hat. Her dark hair is, if she took the hat off, is in a very intricate series of knots and spirals, but it’s all tucked low and close to her head so that with the hat on it looks like a single low bun but it’s definitely not.

NICK: (laughs)

DREW: (mumbling) Make up? Make up?

ALYSON: Okay. Easy. (laughter) She’s wearing regulation stuff. It’s neutral and basic. It’s not important.

DREW: (whispered) Damn.

CAMERON: (laughs)

ALYSON: But she has really long lashes, really long, full, dark lashes. She’s got like tall boots, and… I don’t know how Imperial uniforms look. It’s black and square shouldered, and really well tailored is the thing.

NICK: Yeah!

ALYSON: It’s utilitarian, it’s simple, but it’s very clean, and even though she’s not wearing an intricate gown, as she passes—shark-like—through these women in silk and brocade and whatever, it may as well be for the way she wears it and the way she doesn’t seem to care what anyone else is wearing.

NICK: Ooh.

DREW: Do you mind if I offer something about what distinguishes her as an Inspector?

ALYSON: yeah, go ahead.

DREW: Okay. This is probably not canon at all.

NICK: We really don’t care that much.


DREW: Good! I love it. So, you know the Corellian blood stripe.

ALYSON: yeah, yeah.

DREW: You have one of those, but it also goes up the arm as well, so there’s this red stripe that runs up both sides.

NICK: Ooh.

ALYSON: That’s cool. I like that.

NICK: And then the other thing is, I think it’s a pretty neutral uniform, it’s got that, I think the Inspector uniform probably has a patch. What do you think the patch looks like?

ALYSON: Oh man.

NICK: Is it a ranking logo, is it something that’s imagery?

ALYSON: She’s not just an inspector, she’s an Imperial Inspector. It has the Empire’s insignia, but at strategic points in that logo it’s like a constellation, so there’s silver embroidered stars at certain points in that logo that have been emphasized. The Imperial logo is there, but like you were saying your cloak is black but there’s embroidery in it, so like the Imperial logo is there but the stuff that catches the light are the stars that are poised throughout it. Kind of like, if you know what it is you know what it is.

NICK: Yeah. It looks blank until you get up close, and it may even be just weird stitching, but if you know what that is you can spot it a mile away. I really like that. That’s really cool. Okay, Jorus, do you arrive?

DREW: (cocky southern voice) I do eventually arrive. What happens is as Sila’s moving around taking the look of the room, not the main door, the side door opens… kind of anticlimactically.


ALYSON: I feel like the camera just drifts to the side and this door goes (squeaking noise).


DREW: So, there’s all this commotion going on at the main door, people are coming in and handing people their invitations and coming in, and as the door opens in steps Jorus. Jorus is about six feet tall. He’s in his mid-to-late 30s. he’s got a square beard and a rather thrilling mustache. He’s kind of graying at the temples a little bit from a hard life on the rim, and he’s got this beat up leather hat on, and he is not dressed for such an occasion. He’s wearing his usual jacket that he usually has, it’s a leather jacket that’s got that quintessential Star Wars piping off the side.

NICK: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

CAMERON: Mm-hmm.

ALYSON: Yeah, those pin tucks?

DREW: Yeah. It’s kind of a dark brown jacket that’s got dark blue piping off of the side of it. He’s wearing high boots, tan pants, and like a red shirt. It’s the nicest shirt he owns. (others giggle) He’s wearing a gray vest with that as well. He’s got his blasters on, there’s the bulge of a hulled out blaster under his arm, and he steps in and immediately waiters come up to him, and they’re like ‘I’m terribly sorry sir, this is for a private function.’ “Ah, kriffin’, I got my own invitation.” He reaches in and pulls out this very official looking invitation. He goes, “Here. Why don’t you chew on that for a while,” and kind of puts it at the waiter. As he steps in he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small little package and takes out what looks like a cigarette and puts it in his mouth. As the guy is sitting there looking at the invitation and goes, ‘Well, Mr. Jorus Kreel.’ “That’s Marshal Jorus Kreel, actually.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

DREW: It’s then that we see that on his shoulder there’s the marshal patch that he’s wearing, and he also opens his jacket and there’s his official badge on the inside.

NICK: Okay. Cool.

DREW: By doing that he also shows his blaster (laughter) to the waiter, and the waiter kind of stiffens a little bit. “Don’t you forget it.” He takes one of the cigarettes and goes, “You want one?” and he puts it in the mouth of the waiter. “Felusian Tebrax bark. You can smoke it, you can chew it, you can snort it too if you like, I don’t recommend it though.” He takes one of those plasma lighters and he lights it, takes a drag. “Now if you’ll excuse me… I got a party to go to.” And he walks in.


NICK: I think the waiter is completely stunned. You get a nice shot of the Felusian bark hanging out of his mouth, not knowing what to do, still holding the invitation, and one of the Twi’lek waitresses with pink, bubbly champagne on a platter walks up and says, “Well, we weren’t expecting anyone like you. Would you like a drink?”

DREW: He looks her up and down and goes, “Sorry, I don’t drink on duty,” and he walks away.

NICK: She pouts, (others giggle) and shrugs and turns off to someone else. That needs the stop shot with Jorus Kreel and the electric guitar under it.

(electric guitar noises)

DREW: There’s like a sepia tone.

ALYSON: And then it keeps going—Yeah! The sepia tone.

NICK: In the distance we see a Zabrak man in fancy clothes waver over and grab a couple and start to drink them. “Wonderful. This is exactly what I was hoping for.”

So, the crew sitting in the room, they see these entrances. In addition, there’s another person you can see by the bar, an Imperial Inspector. Sila, you would probably know them from professional situations, a man named Tarstin Moon, a thin gentleman wearing spectacles, one of the best although he hasn’t collared anyone in quite a long time he’s an Imperial Inspector. When asked what he’s working on he’s often very quiet. He just says he’s been working on something really big. He looks to be the only one not mixing with the guests except for Sila herself. Can I get Perception checks from anyone looking at *Tarstin? So, whoever would be looking at him at the bar and want to look a little bit more closely.

LAURA: A brief physical description again?

NICK: He’s a thin gentleman wearing spectacles with a thin but stylish mustache. Think like Gone With the Wind.

LAURA: Oh. Okay.

NICK: Yeah. Slicked back hair.

LAURA: In my head I was imagining like boring old professor…


LAURA: …but if we’re talking stylish, pencil-thin mustache, then yeah I’ll do a Perception check.

NICK: You’ll notice that his uniform is very similar to Sila’s and has red pinstripes.

CAMERON: What difficulty?

NICK: This will be hard, I think.

CAMERON: So three purples.

NICK: Three purples. You roll the purples with those at the same time.

ALYSON: Whoa. This is a lot of dice.


NICK: Yeah. So you have to algebra them out, so the failures and stuff cancel. Cameron will help.

ALYSON: I feel like I’m casting runes.

CAMERON: That’s gonna be two failures and three advantages for Sila.

NICK: We’ll wait to see what other people’s rolls are, Sila, but those advantages, you can spend—three of them is a bunch. You can do pretty much whatever you want with those. You can add something to the scene, you can give yourself an advantage for later, describe it narratively…

HUDSON: You can give someone else an advantage.

NICK: You could give it to someone else if you wanted to.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

NICK: You can think about that for a second. How did Xianna do?

LAURA: Xianna has three successes, one threat.

NICK: Okay. Oh boy, we’re starting the threats. I think this is another episode with a threat counter for nameless fear.

CAMERON: (laughs) Great.


ALYSON: (laughs)

NICK: That’s one. There is a number in my head. If we hit it, something really bad will happen.

DREW: Great.


NICK: Yeah. Last time I had this like creeping doom and they never got to it, so…

DREW: That was the most gentle roll.

CAMERON: That’s just one threat.

NICK: Just one threat?

CAMERON: (smiling) Just one threat.

NICK: That’s gonna go in the pile. Y’all are just gonna begin to stand out a little bit.

HUDSON: I didn’t look.

NICK: Jorus, did you wanna look at him or no?

DREW: Oh no, I’m not paying attention to any of this.

ALYSON: You said that Inspector Moon is someone who I would know professionally?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

ALYSON: Is this someone that I am familiar with or I just know who he is?

NICK: I would say you’re familiar with him. You’ve maybe worked a case before. That’s up to you. It would be more fun if you have a relationship, I think.

ALYSON: yeah. Maybe it’s been a while since we ran into each other, but we’ve definitely worked a case or two in the past.

DREW: (musically) Strangers in the night~


NICK: Tarstin hasn’t noticed you yet, but you’ve seen him.


NICK: So, Xianna I guess would be the only one who noticed that he takes a little packet of powder and mixes it into his drink and the color changes  a little as he’s drinking at the bar.

LAURA: Would I have any idea what that is?

NICK: No. You know it’s not impact.

LAURA: I mean yeah, you don’t put that in a drink.


NICK: But no, it’s in a black bag, you just see a little bit of white powder. From the distance you’re at there’s like no possible way you would.

LAURA: Okay. I’m watching this happen, and I see a waiter walk by with some sort of cigarette in his mouth, and I just pluck that out and go “Oh thank you~” and stuff it into one of my pockets for later.

DREW: Smells like cinnamon.

LAURA: Oh, that’s lovely. And I’m very intrigued by what he put into his drink. I’m gonna go up and talk to him.

NICK: Okay. Before that happens, two things. One, Jorus it’s up to you but would you like to see her very smoothly pluck this Felusian cigarette out of the waiter’s mouth? Is that something you’d like to notice?

DREW: Yeah. Yeah.

NICK: Alright. Can you make me an Underworld check, please?

DREW: Alright. Let’s see here. That’s gonna be…

NICK: I think you have Underworld.

DREW: I do. I do. It’s based off of Intelligence which is two, so two greens and a yellow, I believe.

NICK: Yeah. That’s gonna be an average difficulty.

CAMERON: Just one yellow, one green.

DREW: Oh, sorry.

NICK: No, you’re good. Two purples.

LAURA: Nick, is this to identify me?

NICK: Uh, yes.

LAURA: Okay. The difficulty is upgraded by one.

NICK: Ooh, so make one of those purples into a red.

LAURA: Because I have Indistinguishable.

NICK: Oh boy! I wasn’t gonna give away the whole game, but yeah that’s generally what’s going on.

CAMERON: (laughs) Nothing!

NICK: A total wash. (laughs) That’s always fun. You don’t succeed. Your interest is piqued. That’s somebody who’s slick.

DREW: Interesting. Interesting. Alright. I notice that happened. I noticed her take it. What does your Twi’lek look like?

LAURA: She’s about 5’6” and she is a beautiful shade of medium purple, very long lekku, the head tails, and there’s a—

DREW: Talking like, to knees?

LAURA: Small of the back to hips, and there’s a light gray smoke swirl pattern from the tips going to about half way. Dark purple lips and very blue-violet eyes.

DREW: Interesting.

LAURA: And then, I just probably picked a very basic cloak, nothing special, but nothing boring? I imagine… Ooh, what would look good with purple? It’s probably black—

NICK: I thought mustard yellow. That’s probably not.

ALYSON: (laughs)

LAURA: I was imagining black with a lot of gold on it. No crazy patterns and probably not reflective metallic, just a light dusting of gold. She’s about 25.

NICK: Yeah, great. Cool. You notice that’s an operator. Not one that you necessarily recognize, but yeah, that’s someone who’s good at stuff. You notice that ,and then you see someone approaching the group, someone I don’t think Jorus would know but Sila definitely is aware of them at least tangentially. It’s a Zabrak man. He is bald, he has horns, he’s like the Darth Maul race. He’s got tan skin with darker tan face tattoos, and he’s wearing a governor’s uniform. It looks like an admiral uniform but cut a little different, lots more shiny dooblies on the shoulders. His has been modified. It’s tailored nicer than his regulation and his shoes aren’t the right kind of shoes, they are much shinier, nicer boots. They look to be made out of some weird sharkskin material with a little bit of chiton things hanging off like in a fringe around the top. Call backs.

Sila, you can decide whether or not you’re aware of this. This is Regional Governor Falx. He has a reputation as someone who… He rose pretty far considering he’s a non-Human in the Empire, and something happened that no one has the same story about that got him made a governor of a backwoods system that’s extremely dangerous, and he’s been there a long time. His career just ground to a halt. The fact that he’s here at a bigger social gathering is a little strange. It’s weird that he was invited. He approaches this crew of people who, let’s be honest, don’t exactly blend in. They’re wearing cloaks. There’s a Gigoran, those are really rare, you usually just see them in the background with a flamethrower. (laughter.

But yeah, Falx approaches the crew and says, “My good friends, what a delight to see you. Thanks for coming.”

HUDSON: “Hi Falx.”

NICK: “Hi!”

LAURA: Am I still in the group?

NICK: Yeah. You haven’t had a chance to depart yet. He managed to make his way through the crowd before you split.

LAURA: “Oh. ‘ello.”

NICK: He doesn’t have eyebrows, but he waggles them a little bit.

LAURA: (laughs) yes.

NICK: ‘No greeting for me, karma?”

CAMERON: “Why are we here?”

NICK: “Yeah, funny you should bring that up.” He looks a little awkward for a second and kind of clasps at his hip. He turns to a man next to him who is looking at Falx and the group suspiciously. He’s also wearing a Regional Governor’s outfit but it is a regulation one, standard, nothing fancy. He’s a sort of portly man with black mutton chops, and he is glaring at Xianna pretty strongly until Falx snaps his fingers to get his attention. “Governor Silpin, I think that’ll be all. I’ll speak with you after I get my friends settled.” The man looks like he’s about to say something to Xianna, and then—

LAURA: Xianna’s waving at him, just kinda very awkward smiling, “Oh hi~”

NICK: The man harrumphs to himself and departs for another group. You can hear him grumbling something that sounds surprisingly poetic and existential under his breath.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: Falx says, “I am so glad that you came. I actually risked quite a lot to get you here unfortunately, but here’s the thing: I think someone at this party wants to kill me.”

CAMERON: “Why would they want to kill you?”

NICK: “I’m as baffled as you are.”

CAMERON: “Oh, I wasn’t baffled. (laughs)”

NICK: “Oh.” (laughs)

LAURA: “Um… Yes. Is the Mrs. Governor Silpin here too?”

NICK: “You know, it’s funny, I haven’t seen her in quite a while. I don’t know if she even came.”

LAURA: ‘Oh… Uh, never mind, then.”

NICK: “Why? You wanted to do some catching up?”

LAURA: “Uh… No. No reason. (laughs)”

NICK: “Oh. Strange. Yeah, so, really I have you here so that you can make it so I don’t die. That sounds great. I would like to enlist you as bodyguards.”

CAMERON: ‘If you thought someone was gonna kill you here why did you come here? Why not just stay on Unroola Dawn?”

NICK: “Well, I called them here, to lure out the assassin, you see…”


NICK: “…so that we could stop them…”

LAURA: “No…”

NICK: “…and I could go back to my meteoric rise to governmental power.”

LAURA: ‘No.”

NICK: “No?”

LAURA: “That is not how you do that.”

CAMERON: (laughing) “This plan does not make sense.”

NICK: “Um… Well, it’s a little late now.”

LAURA: (sighs)

CAMERON: “Yeah. We just need you to be aware of it.”

HUDSON: “That didn’t sound very smart.”

NICK: “Oh—Ooh.”

LAURA: “Tink—“ (laughs)

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “I’m sorry. What I meant was it didn’t sound very smart that you waited so long to call us.”

NICK: “Oh. Yeah. Tink, I’ve always liked you.”

HUDSON: “Thank you.”

LAURA: “Do you want to just stand behind Tink for the whole party?”

HUDSON: ‘I cover a lot of area.”

LAURA: ‘He is very large.”

NICK: “We may come to that, but I am actually here to make some deals and arrange some things.” By the way, if either of you would like to overhear this conversation or move towards it at any point…


DREW: He’s the governor of the outer rim?

NICK: He’s a regional governor. He’s in charge of a couple of systems. You actually may have heard about the planet Unroola Dawn. It’s an outer rim planet, it’s backwoods, it has some really interesting wildlife and monsters on it.

LAURA: Don’t go there!

NICK: If you want to make me a Knowledge: Outer Rim check…

DREW: I’ll make a Knowledge: Outer Rim check.

NICK: Yeah! You’re probably very interested in those boots. Might give you a little bit more background.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: The difficulty for you will be… Eh, let’s go with easy.

CAMERON: Okay, so that’s one purple.

NICK: I think that you’re a purveyor of outer rim fashion.

CAMERON: (sharp inhale) No…

LAURA: Oh… (laughs)

DREW: Is that another wash?

CAMERON: No, so it’s one failure, one advantage, because one of the advantages cancels out the threat.

NICK: So, you have an advantage. You can spend that in the next bit to give yourself a boost, to give Aly a boost, to add something to the scene, anything like that.

DREW: Cool.

NICK: Yeah. They continue to talk for a little bit. Falx says, “So, I really need to work my way around the party. I figured you would appreciate if I kept Silpin away from you. To be honest, I did not expect him to be here, but you know what they say, best laid plans of TaunTauns and Rancores.”

LAURA: “Anyways. I would appreciate it if you did not eat or drink, because you know, the poisoning.”

NICK: “Oh. This one’s fine. This one’s from the flask.”

LAURA: “I mean, yes, well because if I was going to kill you I would poison your drink knowing you always drink martinis.”

NICK: “Well, I’ve been nursing this one for a while, gotta keep the wit sharp, and I haven’t dropped yet. So…”

CAMERON: “Cool. Make sure you maintain that in your sight. Don’t set it down anywhere and walk away to go to the refresher or anything. If you do, get a fresh drink.”

NICK: “Oh. Yeah, I never lose sight of a martini.”

CAMERON: “Good.”

LAURA: “Yes. If you do have to get a new one, make sure you watch the bartender make it or the droid make it. Yeah, how about you just don’t eat food, okay?”

NICK: “That’s fine. I’m not hungry anyway.”

ALYSON: I think while this is happening Sila is aware of Regional Governor Falx and his presence in the room. I think she stops her patrol, I guess is a good word for it, and kind of watches this from a distance. She’s not in eavesdropping range but she’s watching, and she kind of tilts her head to one side and the droid comes buzzing over to fill that space next to her, and I think she says under her breath, “Whist, are those known associates of the regional governor?”

NICK: “Calculating. I have no records of any of those beings.”

ALYSON: “With or without the regional governor?”

NICK: “At all.”

ALYSON: “Interesting.”

NICK: “Extremely. I must need my database updated.”

ALYSON: “Go ahead and do a round, would you?”

NICK: “At your command.” He floats up to five meters in the air, so it’s a little distinct but above most people’s normal eyesight, and starts to do a scan.

DREW: While this is happening, I would like to count all the Twi’leks in the room.

ALYSON: (laughs)


LAURA & ALYSON: (musically) Count the Twi’leks~

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Alright. So—

DREW: Perception, or…?

NICK: I’ll just give you that. They tend to stand out.

DREW: Mm-hmm.

NICK: There are—

ALYSON: They’re hot!

LAURA: Yeah!

NICK: Yeah they are, especially these ones. There are four, one in each color that I think is fun. So, you see the purple one that is talking to an important government official with the cool boots, you see the one that talked to you earlier which was a red one, there is a yellow one that is actually not dressed as a waitress, she’s wearing a nice gown and is talking with some people and seems to actually be in control of that conversation which is pretty cool, and there is a green one that is a waitress and she has head tails that have Sabacc suits tattooed on them going down the back, she’s pretty short and she seems particularly animated.

ALYSON: So, they’re the Teletubbies colors.

NICK: Oh shit!



NICK: I guess so. Oh…

ALYSON: Does that make Tink the baby in the sun?

LAURA: yes!

CAMERON: Xianna is Tinky Winky.

DREW: Would it be a Perception then to guess the heights of all of them?

NICK: Oh yeah, absolutely.

DREW: Alright. I’ll roll that Perception. I have two in Perception, so is that two yellows?

ALYSON: Mm-hmm.

DREW: And then I have three Cunning, so it’s just two dice?

CAMERON: Yeah, so one green.

NICK: Three Cunning, you get a green one with your two yellows, and we’ll say this is an average check, I would say height estimates is something you do in your line of work pretty regularly.

CAMERON: So two purples.

DREW: So two purples. I can use a blue because I had that earlier?

NICK: You can, absolutely.

DREW: Alright. Let’s read these…

CAMERON: This one looks better.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Uh, ooh, no, not as better as it could be, though.

NICK: Not as better—

CAMERON: (laughs) Not as—Yeah. It’s three advantages, so all of those cancel out.

DREW: Alright. Ooh. Three advantages.

NICK: So when you get to three that starts getting into like three-pointer territory. You can do something with that that’s pretty cool, but you can’t be successful at the height guessing. That’s a fail.

DREW: Alright. So I can’t guess the height. It’s hard, because they’re spread out around the room, so I’m trying to guess their height but I can’t do that. So instead what I do is, I’m gonna say that I immediately dismiss the waitresses as possible targets, because from what I know of my quarry she would not be doing that.

NICK: So that’s the red one and the green one off the table.

CAMERON: Christmas colors, gone.

DREW: Christmas colors, gone!

LAURA: If I’m not allowed to do this let me know, but I would say with the purple one you specifically have a hard time, because she seems to be shifting her weight from foot to foot…

NICK & CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: …it kind of changes the height so you can’t tell if she’s like on tip-toes a little bit or if she’s purposely kind of slouched down whenever she’s shifting.

NICK: Oh no, 100%.

LAURA: yeah, so you’re just not sure which height is the correct height.

DREW: So, what I know is that she’s masking her height…


NICK: yeah. It’s totally not that she’s injured horribly or anything like that.

CAMERON: (laughs)

DREW: I’m gonna guess that she’s masking her height…


LAURA: R.I.P. toes.

NICK: (laughs)

DREW: Alright. Thank you so much.

NICK: Okay, so with your three advantages, do you want to sit on that for a bit, do you wanna think about it, or do you wanna use them on something?

DREW: Um… I’m gonna sit on them.

NICK: Okay. That’s fine.

ALYSON: If you don’t use your advantages right away do they go bye-bye?

NICK: No. I mean, maybe by the rules, but if you wanna pocket them for a bit and use them a little later I’m fine with that. It’s more fun.

LAURA: We pocket them.

ALYSON: Cool. Yeah, because I had I think one or two from before, but I haven’t done anything with them.

NICK: Yeah. In my mind you’re still sitting on them. Now like if the scene ends or something really dramatic happens by then they’re probably gonna go away, because we’ll forget about them anyway, but if you wanna sit on them and use them a little later…

ALYSON: That’s cool.

NICK: Yeah, should be fine.

CAMERON: If Nick is allowed to have a threat counter, we’re allowed to hold advantages.

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.

NICK: That’s fair. No one’s done three threats yet. Disappointing. Yeah, so as all this is going on, I think Falx very subtly cocks his head and sees Whist making a circuit, and it’s difficult to see that he’s acknowledging. He goes, “Well, I think I need to be moving around the crowd otherwise it’s pretty suspicious, so if you could mingle a little bit, maybe look for anyone who could be a threat, there’s quite a few people who seem to be here that I didn’t invite, maybe—“

CAMERON: “Oh, this is your party?”

NICK: “Well, technically it’s Silpin’s party, but the man doesn’t think particularly well, so I may have implanted some ideas.”

LAURA: “Wait! So if it is his party, why did you not think he was going to be here? (huffs)”

NICK: “Yeah. The reason that I didn’t expect him to be here is because I made sure that he had business elsewhere. I really didn’t expect him to sacrifice a colony for this kind of thing.”

LAURA: “But it is his own party.”

NICK: “Well yeah, but the man hates parties. I think he came merely to aggravate me since I hijacked the thing.”

LAURA: “(huffs) Whatever.”

NICK: “Hey, my plans are intricate!”

CAMERON: “I would like to point out a security risk. We were able to just walk in the doors without an invitation, so if anyone is here to kill you they could’ve just walked in even if they weren’t invited to Silpin’s party.”

NICK: ‘Oh no, it was by the ship registry. Did you notice that they called you something else?”

CAMERON: “I did, but then everyone else was still handing in paper invitations as we walked through the doors.”

NICK: “Oh…”

LAURA: “Like, no check at all. I have so many weapons.”

CAMERON: “We are so armed right now.”

NICK: “Well, I’m glad that you’re armed. That was part of the plan.”

HUDSON: “I have a visible vibro-axe.”


LAURA: You just have a vibro-axe on your back!

HUDSON: Just so you all know what I look like.

ALYSON: yeah~

NICK: “You’re the guests of honor, and I may need to have—“

CAMERON: “What?!”

NICK: “You’re… What?!”

CAMERON: (laughing) “We’re the guests of honor?”

NICK: “Well, I mean, like my guests of honor. Anyone who keeps me alive is a guest of honor.”

CAMERON: “But this isn’t even your party.”

NICK: “You’re making me real nervous right now. I would like you to please mingle at the party.”

CAMERON: “Sorry. We’ve had a rough, like, 24 hours.”

NICK: “Oh, really?”

CAMERON: ‘Yeah.”

LAURA: “We will mingle. We will, we will mingle. Okie.”

NICK: ‘Hey, speaking of that, weren’t there four of you before?”


NICK: “Oh. Okay.”

LAURA: “Oh… Yes.”

NICK: “Oh? I’m getting some mixed messages.”

LAURA: ‘It’s fine. Do not worry about it.”

NICK: “Tink?”

HUDSON: “(whimpering, failing to form words)”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: I’m still broken up about losing a teammate.

CAMERON: (laughing) Karma puts a comforting hand on Tink’s shoulder.

LAURA: Xianna like turns Falx around by the shoulder and just pushes him into the crowd, and once he gets far enough away she looks at Tink and karma. “Okie. So, if he is killed at this party, he cannot blackmail us anymore…”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “That’s true.”

LAURA: “So, my vote is that, uh, we let him die.”

NICK: “I am still standing here!”


LAURA: “Oh! You are still here?! Wow!”

CAMERON: “Are you really surprised, though?”

NICK: “No, not really.”

LAURA: “Are you surprised? I mean, you are blackmailing me, so you know what I’m like.”

NICK: “Oh, I’m blackmailing all of you. I’m blackmailing most of the people at this party. … Ooh, I said that out loud.”

ALYSON: Did Whist catch that?

NICK: Oh, 100%.

ALYSON: yes! Perfect.


LAURA: “I mean, I figured, I feel like that is your thing. You blackmail.”

NICK: “Well yeah. Anyway. Now I will leave you alone to plot my demise. I’ve got some people to mingle with.” And he’s gonna go away.


NICK: I think at this point Whist kind of buzzes Jorus pretty close, and Jorus you hear a lot of computer beeping noises. He is right over you and you can feel a scan, kind of like if you stand too close to a microwave, like you shouldn’t be able to feel microwaves but you kinda get that vibe. You are being actively sonarred by this droid.

DREW: As that is happening, Jorus turns, sees it, flashes the badge, makes eyes, puts it back, takes a long drag of his cigarette… and blows it up into the robot. The smoke is not black smoke, it’s red tinged with yellow.

NICK: Ooh. Very Felusia, I like it.

DREW: Very Felusian.

NICK: Yeah. There’s a synthetic (coughing noises), which is bologna…

DREW: Fake!

NICK: …because he’s a droid, yeah, and there’s a long pause as you see the main iris with a red light in it shutter in, and then you hear the droid say, “It’s an older badge, but it checks out,” and it continues on.

DREW: “Of course it does!”


NICK: One of the well-dressed kind of peacocky ladies who is in a little group turns by and goes, “Oh, there’s a badge!” and makes eyes at you for a second, and then a man in a tuxedo tries to get her attention back. She looks very torn.

DREW: Jorus winks, tips his hat, and goes, “Ma’am, I’m sure you’re… very smart.”


ALYSON: Savage.

NICK: “What do you think he meant by that?”

“Don’t engage with the scary people, dear. Come back to the group.”

And then, Whist makes it back to Sila. “Reporting back for duty, marm.” // 51:48

ALYSON: “What did you find out?”

NICK: So, out of character, what kinds of things does Whist usually scan for?

ALYSON: Notable persons… In a situation like this where it’s a big mixer event, it’s an Imperial hosted event, we’re looking for people who shouldn’t be here, we’re looking for people who have records that I would need to know about…

NICK: Oh boy.

ALYSON: …we’re looking for people who are talking to people who normally they shouldn’t be talking to those people. I’m looking for things that stand out. I’m looking for things that aren’t normal.

NICK: Alright, so… It’s a long list. (laughs) it’s a long enough list that sorting through it is going to be difficult, so Whist gives you the Sparknotes version, the Starnotes maybe even.


CAMERON: Ah-ha-ha.

NICK: So, he gives you a rundown. “Well, marm, I don’t know if you noticed but your fellow inspector Tarstin Moon is here.”

ALYSON: “I did see him.”

NICK: “Yes. His bio signs are a little irregular. He seems much more nervous than usual.”

ALYSON: “Irregular how?”

NICK: “Elevated heart rate and adrenaline, mostly.”

ALYSON: “Hmm.”

NICK: “Some sort of chemical irregularity I can’t identify.”

ALYSON: “That is unusual for him.”

NICK: “Most of the non-Humans here have records. Are there any specifically that you would be interested in?”

ALYSON: Out of character question.

NICK: Sure.

ALYSON: Why am I at this party?

NICK: Good question. You were given an anonymous tip from a very reliable source that heard from someone they claim is reliable that your quarry was going to be at this party, specifically.

ALYSON: So someone I’m looking for?

NICK: Absolutely. Actually, that would be a good thing for the listeners to know. Jorus, you and Sila are both hunting someone specifically, and have heard from a reliable source that’s heard a reliable source that the person you’re hunting is here. Jorus, you’re looking for sort of a heartbreaker, someone who seduces and steals things on a small scale. Sila, you have been tracking this very up-and-coming slicer who’s been hacking Imperial systems. The only thing you know about them that identifies would be StarDestroyer1, it’s this weird signature  they leave in a lot of stuff.

ALYSON: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

NICK: Yeah!

ALYSON: Cool. So, I’m aware then that it is Regional Governor Falx’s party masquerading as Governor Silpin’s party?

NICK: Mm-hmm.

ALYSON: Great.

NICK: And Whist does say, “It’s quite strange that Silpin is here, because he doesn’t ever attend parties.”

ALYSON: “No, not even his own.”

NICK: “No, especially not his own. One other thing, there are several mercenaries here.”

ALYSON: “Mercenaries?”

NICK: “The Davronian, the Rodian…” For our listeners who don’t go into Star Wars, Davronians look like Halloween store devils—

CAMERON: Deevils!

NICK: –and Rodians look kinda like bugs with sticky-outie snoots. “The Davronian, one of the Twi’leks pretending to be a waitress, and the Rodians are all hired guns.”

ALYSON: “Hired by whom?”

NICK: “That I cannot determine from scanning their bio signs, although someday I do hope for that upgrade.”

ALYSON: “As do I, Whist, as do I.”

NICK: (laughs)

ALYSON: “Interesting.”

NICK: “Is there anything else I can do to serve you further?”

ALYSON: “Not yet. Continue as planned.”

NICK: “Assuming patrol route.” He goes up and starts to hover around the room. Is there anyone in particular that anyone would like to talk to? I defer to Jorus and Sila first.

DREW: I’d like to do two things real quick.

NICK: Okay.

DREW: One, I’d like to hail a waitress over.

NICK: Which one?

DREW: Um, the green one.

NICK: Oh! Great.

DREW: I hail her over, and I take a drink. “Thank you kindly, ma’am,” and I tip her 100 credits.

NICK: She goes, “Oh… What else do you need?”

DREW: “The drink is fine.”

NICK: “Well, I’ll make sure to keep them coming, handsome.”

DREW: “Thank you.” He has his cred-stick and he very, um, noticeably places it in his pocket. He’s doing this in the middle of the room. Then he walks over to the yellow Twi’lek to go talk to her. I’ll defer from that.

NICK: Okay. Okay.

LAURA: So, Xianna’s standing still with Karma and Tink, and look sat the man that’s at the bar, and goes, “You know, I think I’m just going to go get some drinks, just enjoy the party, you know? I do not really care if Falx dies, too much.”

CAMERON: “Okay, but I am curious and interested in knowing the person who kills him, so I’m just gonna go follow Falx.”

LAURA: “Yes.” She’s digging through her pockets while she’s talking. “Oh… It is in here somewhere. Um, hold on…” She pulls out a small little bag, pours it onto her hand, and then snorts and goes, “Mm, it is a party. (upbeat) Tink, you want a drink?” (giggles)

HUDSON: “I’d love a drink.”

LAURA: “Okie. I’m not going to get you one.”

HUDSON: “Fine.”


LAURA: She saunters off to the bar and does the elbow down, chin on the hand, in front of Tarstin. “Ello~”

NICK: ‘Oh, uh, well… Hi there.”

LAURA: “You are?”

NICK: “Not at liberty to say, I’m afraid.”

LAURA: “You can’t even make up a name?”

(quiet giggling)

NICK: ‘Let’s… Let’s go with, uh, Tarstin. Dang it!”


LAURA: “Okie. I am assuming your name is Tarstin, then.”

NICK: “Yes, Tarstin Dangit.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: “Why are you paying attention to me right now?”

LAURA: “I like your mustache.”

NICK: “Oh, well thank you. I work very hard on it, actually.”

LAURA: “It is very nice.”

NICK: “Well, I think your… head tails are very nice, too.”

LAURA: She gets that like flash across her face of, ugh, that’s not- that’s so offensive… (others giggle) and then it immediately snaps back to the pleasant, like he probably doesn’t even notice. “Oh, heh, thank you. I, uh, grew them myself. (laughs)”

NICK: “Oh, haha, I get it. That’s very clever.”

LAURA: (smiling) “Yes.”

NICK: “I’m actually kind of in the middle of something.”

LAURA: “Yes, so, about that…” She kind of leans in very close and whispers. “So, I saw you pouring something into your drink?”

NICK: “Y-Yeah…”

LAURA: “Yes. What is it?”

NICK: Hmm. I’m gonna need a Charm check.

LAURA: (gasps) Can do! What is my Charm?!

NICK: Also, if anyone else wants to sidle up to the bar at this point they’re more than welcome to listen in.

ALYSON: Sila is definitely watching this. I think she sends Whist back out on patrol, and she looked back over at Tarstin and was going to make her way slowly in that direction and stopped when she saw the Twi’lek approach him first, and now she’s watching that and making her way there very slowly.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: I make my way to the bar and stand behind Xianna to get a drink.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: One success.

NICK: “Well, I seem to be having health issues lately. It’s like an immuno-stimulant. It’s of my own making, actually. It keeps me sharp.”

LAURA: “Okie. So, hypothetically, if you were to give it to someone who did not have your, um, illness… what would it do?”

NICK: ‘Ooh. I think it would probably make them extremely energetic, and perceptive, and intelligent, and rakishly handsome…” and he kind of smiles hesitantly, “and then they would have extreme gastric distress.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Okie, um, it would not kill them though?”

NICK: “I sure hope not. I’ve been taking this for weeks.”

LAURA: “Okie. It also does not sound fun. I was hoping it would be fun, or very deadly, which is fun in a different way.”

NICK: “Oh… Are you- Would you be insinuating that someone would be taking recreational drugs at this point?”

LAURA: “Oh yes. (giggles)”

NICK: “Ooh… Um… Now might be a great time to tell you that I’m an Imperial Inspector.”

LAURA: “Oh! I do not mean like you, or me, I mean like other people at the party, because it is a party and that often happens. I mean, I’m pretty sure I saw the one Falx doing something.”

NICK: Can I get a Deception check as you try to dig yourself out of this whole.

CAMERON: (chuckles)

ALYSON: Hmm~ Yes.

NICK: Also, at this point I think Tink is very close to Xianna messing up this conversation.

HUDSON: I heard digestive problems and my ears perked up for my previous issues.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Your medical book said something about digestive problems.

HUDSON: Yeah, my medical book did say something about digestive problems.

NICK: Yeah. Becoming Medicine… Yeah. Two difficulty. He’s very good at certain parts of being an inspector.

LAURA: (musically) Two failures.

NICK: He looks at the stormtroopers that are by the door and by the podium. They have not moved, statue still, stormtroopers are very good at that. “I’m a little busy right now, but I suggest you don’t leave the party. We may need to be speaking a little bit later.”

LAURA: (nervously) “Okieee.”

NICK: You can just feel the chill coming off of him.

LAURA: “Bye… I will talk to you later…”

NICK: You see he like snaps his fingers above the bar and one of the stormtroopers’ heads turns unperceptively and he does a series of complicated hand signs, and from the distance you hear, “Roger,” and then the head goes back.

LAURA: Oh. When that happens Xianna’s head definitely turns, looks up at the stormtrooper, and is just smiling and waving at him real, real big. (laughs)

NICK: You also see a scout droid with a bulbous head and a lot of arms dangling down. It’s above the stormtroopers. It goes, “(politely) Oh, hello,” and then continues on its circuit around.


ALYSON: One of its little arms wave—

(squeaking/beeping noises, more laughter)

LAURA: And she’s like ‘oh, yes, hi!’ (laughs) “So, Tink.”

HUDSON: “Xianna.”

LAURA: “It is a very good thing that you brought your vibro-axe with you.”

HUDSON: “Why is that?”


LAURA: “Oh, I said some very stupid thing, and we might have to fight our way out of the party.”

HUDSON: “Oh, Xianna… I’ve had a few drinks. I’m…”

LAURA: “I mean, I have not had any drinks yet. How have I not done that…?”

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Tink’s just been slamming them behind you.

HUDSON: I’ve just been slamming them behind you.

ALYSON: Yeah, just one after the other in the background of the shot.

HUDSON: That’s exactly right.

CAMERON: Karma has just been following Falx, like one social group behind him throughout.

NICK: Okay. I think Falx goes to Jorus actually, like makes a B-line there, which is weird. You see this dashing space cowboy-esque figure that’s actively alienating anyone who tries to interact with him, which is fun. Falx goes straight up and says, “Wow. I didn’t expect the System Marshal to actually make it this far in.”

DREW: “Hello Falx. How ya doin’?”

NICK: “It’s been a long time!”

DREW: “Not long enough, but here we are.”

NICK: “I can’t help but agree. Are those the same boots as ten years ago?”

DREW: “Oh, you know, when something works you stick to it.”

NICK: “And then slowly age into oblivion. I know exactly the feeling.”

DREW: “(laughs) Get bent.”


NICK: “Oh. Aw… Ever eloquent as usual, my friend.”

DREW: “Well, you know, I don’t have much time for fancy words with puffed up puppies like yourself.”

NICK: “Oh yeah. Puffed, up, puppies, the exact kind of custom thing that I would expect from someone of your stature. No one says that.”

DREW: “I know. That’s why I say it.”

NICK: “Ah… Isn’t that nice.” You can see he’s talking to you while thinking about something else. I’m imagining you’re kind of against the wall near the stage and he keeps looking at the stormtroopers and looking somewhere else, and then his com goes off. He pulls it up. It’s one of those ones that looks like a shaving razor.

DREW: yeah, yeah, yeah.

NICK: Yeah. He looks at it, presses a button, and a few lights slide up. “Ah. I need to be doing something, if you’ll excuse me,” and he starts moving a lot faster, like beyond casual. At exactly that moment, the lights cut out.

DREW: Kriff.

ALYSON: People scream!

NICK: yes, exactly, it says it right there.

LAURA: (quietly) Xianna screams.

ALYSON: Ya-ha!

NICK: There’s a scream–

CAMERON: (feigns a scream)

NICK: The room is surprisingly dark with just a dull, ambient, red glow. It’s difficult to see anything, and you hear blaster fire, and the thud of dropping bodies. As quickly as it started, it’s over. The lights flicker back on. There’s another scream. The stormtroopers on the small stage have both been shot. One is on the floor and the other is draped across the podium as if they were turning towards the threat. The stormtroopers by the door have also been blasted. They both fell forward as if they didn’t even get a chance to respond. You see the crowd is pushing away from the middle of the ballroom leaving an empty circle. In the circle, in an expanding pool of blood, is Regional Governor Silpin facedown with a vibro-knife in his back. End of episode.

ALL Ba-naaa~!

NICK: Great.

CAMERON: Oh snap.

NICK: Yeah.

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and give the squad warm fuzzies when we read them.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 15 Let’s Get Some Answers

PDF download: Episode 15 Let’s Get Some Answers

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 15:
Let’s Get Some Answers

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Not a lot of announcements this week. I know there’s some new iTunes reviews floating in the internet somewhere, but they haven’t shown up where I can see them yet, so I’ll be sure to thank everyone next time.

You know how I know that? Twitter! Our Twitter drive is going well. We’ve gained 20 more followers. We’ve had several NPC polls, and the NPC will be a blue Gungan that’s a circus acrobat who loves Sabacc and making jewelry. Thank you to everyone who’s voting and helping us make this character. Come follow us and help us decide the final piece. Our next and final Twitter poll will be at 125 followers.

Twitter is a great way to reach out and talk to us or other people who like this podcast and many other great podcasts. Remember, when we hit the next Twitter goal we’ll release a bonus Jedi Adventure on off-weeks and a pretty lengthy blooper reel that I’ve had stashed away since we started. We’re very close, but we  need you!

Anyway. Thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy the episode.

CAMERON: (distant, giggling) And by the way, our Twitter is @Tabletop_Squad!

NICK: Thank you… Cameron.

CAMERON: (laughs)


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 15 of Tabletop Squadron. Happy Thursday, or whatever day you’re listening to this. I’m Nick, your host and game master. We’re gonna go around the table and introduce everybody and their characters, starting with Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson, and I play Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: Great. Next up we’ve got Laura.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: And last but not least we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hi. I’m Cameron, and I play Karma, a Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Great! When we last left off the team was drifting aimlessly in space dealing with some emotional turmoil and coming to terms with some things, talking about their feelings, drinking quite a bit. We left off with a com call from Sentinel giving them some coordinates on where to meet up. We’re gonna start right about there, but before that let’s get the Destiny Roll.

CAMERON: One dark side.

HUDSON: One dark side.

LAURA: One light side.

CAMERON: Yay Laura.

NICK: Heh. Good work.

CAMERON: So two dark side, one light side.

NICK: Alright. Let’s jump right into it! The com call that you got, Karma quickly flipped the switch to send it through the whole ship. “This is Sentinel. You’ve done… better than I hoped. It’s time for us to meet in person. I’m sending you the coordinates now.” Do you go immediately?

CAMERON: “Hey Tink?!”

HUDSON: “Yeah?”

CAMERON: “Oh wait, I don’t need to yell. Sorry. I have the ship coms on.”

HUDSON: “Uh, yeah?”

CAMERON: (laughs) “Can you come help me astrogate?”

HUDSON: “Sure!”

NICK: Alright. You head up to the cockpit. It’s an easy Astrogation check, you have the coordinates, but there are two black dice on this because it’s not on any hyperspace route that you know.

HUDSON: Ooh. This is a little bit difficult. You said it’s easy?

NICK: Yeah. It’s easy, but two black dice.

CAMERON: Plus a blue die because Karma’s helping.

HUDSON: Oh. That’s so nice of you. Alright, here I go, I put my hand on the astrogater and I pull the lever!


NICK: For our listeners, we do know that’s not how that works.

CAMERON: Do we though?

NICK: Some of us do.

HUDSON: We have three successes and an advantage.

NICK: Great. You’re able to make the calculation. It looks like the jump is gonna be about 12 hours. The location isn’t on any star chart, it’s just at the beginning of the outer rim between the outer and the middle rim, but luckily it’s on the same side of the galaxy that you’re already on, so you’re able to get there in about that much time. You’re able to make the calculation, hit the lever, and jump. That gets you 12 hours to rest, potentially recover strain, repair any equipment that had been damaged, all that good stuff, get some sleep since you haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in about 48 hours at this point since your last attempt involved getting exploded.

As you drop out of hyperspace with a lurch you see the black of space all around you. There are a few stars, but in front of you, you can’t even see very many of those. The reason quickly becomes clear as a small space station begins to illuminate before you. Running lights appear on the outside showing you the approach vector to land. The space station is not large. It is a simple cylinder about twice the length of your ship with a thin ring around it like a spoked wheel. As you guide your ship into the landing bay it’s a tight fit. One other ship is parked within, a small triangular fighter. The Afternoon Delight takes up the rest of the bay. As you land you hear the (whooshing noises) of lights extinguishing on the exterior. The bay is dimly lit with emergency lighting. Is there anything you want to do before you hop off?

CAMERON: I guess Karma puts her armor back on and just reloads all of her gear.

HUDSON: Yeah. I reload all my gear and my weapons.

NICK: You reload your axe. Okay.


NICK: You have a gun. I’m being mean.

HUDSON: No, I don’t use the gun, though.


CAMERON: Well, the gun’s in your backpack, so-

HUDSON: yeah.

LAURA: Xianna puts all of her stuff back on. She’s still wearing the old left boot, but on the right foot she found a pair of sandals that were a much larger size but they fit over the foot wrappings that she has, so she just strapped the sandal on the right foot so that she’s not walking directly on the bandages.

NICK: Oh, okay. That’s a good look.

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: It’s real classy. “Hey Tink, were you able to fix the ship during our jump?”

HUDSON: “Um… (shiftily) I sure was…”

NICK: So, mechanically you did pretty much what you need to. It’s one more dent in an otherwise decently put together ship. You weren’t able to fix it like new, but it’s operating.

HUDSON: ‘It’s workable!”

CAMERON: “Awesome. I mean, I figured it was since we got here, but-“

LAURA: “Yeah.”

HUDSON: “Oh yeah.”

NICK: Is there anything else you all wanted to do?

HUDSON: Communicate with Sentinel right now to be like are we in the right place, is this a trap…

NICK: You can try and call. You don’t actually have a contact for him. The com that came in was blocked, so you don’t actually have a way to get in touch with him.

HUDSON: Hmm. Alright. “Let’s all huddle up real quick. Get in a huddle. Get in a huddle.”

CAMERON: “Okay. Huddled!”

HUDSON: “Huddle?”

LAURA: “Okay… Huddle.”

HUDSON: “Alright—“

CAMERON: “Alright Tink, you’re gonna have to lean down a little bit. You’re too far up in the huddle.”

LAURA: “Yes. Too tall.”

HUDSON: “Alright. Too tall. Got it. I’m down. What if this is a trap?”

LAURA: “I have a gun.”

CAMERON: “I have a gun, and a sword. You have an axe.”

HUDSON: “I have an axe… Should we have a broader plan than that?”

LAURA: “Um… We shoot them?”

HUDSON: “… Okay.”

CAMERON: “If we get shot at we shoot back. You axe back.”

HUDSON: “I axe back.”

LAURA: “Yes. We stand behind you. You are taller and more resilient, and then we shoot around you.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, and I say some snazzy line like let me axe you a question, and then… hit ‘em.”

LAURA: “Yes. You do that.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. Okay. Anyway. Since we’re huddled, what’s our plan for Sentinel? We’re hearing him out, yes?”

LAURA: “(sighs) Sure.”

CAMERON: “His message said ‘that went more smoothly than he anticipated,’ which concerns me greatly.”

LAURA: “That makes me worried. I mean, how much worse could that have gone?”

HUDSON: “We could ask him.”

LAURA: “”Could it have gone any worse? I mean, besides all of us dying.”

CAMERON: “We could have failed to take out the Vengeance.”

LAURA: “Yes, but then an entire city would not have been destroyed, so…”

CAMERON: “They may have still done the bombardment if we damaged it enough… It’s like it could have gone worse. I feel like he very heavily stressed the loss of life thing though, and then his plan kind of just ignored that and there were no warnings with retaliation and stuff.”

HUDSON: “I’ll defer to you all.”

CAMERON: “Okay. Here. We’ll hear him out, and then we’ll just see, and we’ll make a judgment call on if each of us still wants to be involved in this.”

HUDSON: “We are always, always allowed more huddles. We need to have more huddles to discuss things when there’s hard decisions.”

CAMERON: (laughs) “True.”

HUDSON: “We can just be like hey, pause, pause game… Huddle.”

LAURA: “Okie. If we are having a team huddle, can we huddle around me? I am missing a certain number of toes and is a little hard to walk. I’m still getting used to that. My foot is also bound. I did find a new pair of boots to wear. They are very similar to the old pair of boots, I just cannot wear them yet until the bandages come off of my foot, so I just have them in my room closet… in case you were wondering.”

HUDSON: “Alright. We can huddle around you, Miss Injured Center of Attention. We can huddle around you.”

LAURA: “Yes. Thank you.”

CAMERON: “Alright, let’s go in.”

HUDSON: “And, break!”

CAMERON: (laughing) I hit the button right next to us and the ramp deploys.

NICK: Yeah. You break from your huddle. As you exit the ship a protocol droid enters through the only door. “Ah yes, the master’s latest set of fixers. If you’ll come with me, please.” The red emergency lights in the hanger give the droid a sinister air.

CAMERON: Is this the same droid that we saw on Corellia?

NICK: It looks identical.

CAMERON: Hmm. It sounds identical, too.

NICK: Hmm. Well, I’m not that talented—

CAMERON: Good voice work, Nick.

NICK: Thanks! (laughs) The droid turns to lead you through the halls of the station. The curvature of the floor causes you to feel like you’re constantly walking up a wall and it’s rather disconcerting. Tink, your head grazes the ceiling ever so slightly. This part of the station is dim as well with a single red light every 20 meters or so. The whole station is dim with only the faintest noise of life support. Your steps and the whirring of servers on the protocol droid echo as you walk through.

LAURA: I guess we’re walking…

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: Xianna would put her scanner goggles on just to see a little bit better.

NICK: Okay. With your scanner goggles on you see that this is a very bare setup. There’s not a lot of stuff. There are some cobwebs and a lot of dust on the hallway. It’s like not a lot of people are here. With that you can actually see the footprints from this droid and a couple of lines in the dust and that’s it, so it doesn’t look like there’s a lot of people here, at all.

So, the droid leads you to a holo room. There’s a table-sized dais for presentations and four rows of auditorium seating in a circle around the edge of the room. Seated behind the dais is Sentinel.

CAMERON: Behind? Or on?

NICK: Behind it. The dais is for presentations like the ones in the movies where they project a bunch of holograms and stuff. He’s seated, like—

CAMERON: Oh. Okay. I was thinking like a stage-type.

NICK: Yeah. It’s not like a stage, it’s like a projector thing.

CAMERON: Okay. the thing that they all huddle around to look at the presentations.

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Okay, cool.

NICK: He’s sitting, it’s between you and him.

CAMERON: Okay, cool.

NICK: This is the first time you’ve seen him in real life that isn’t a distorted hologram. It’s hard to tell how tall he is while he’s sitting behind the table, but he has white hair with streaks of gray, he wears it swept back over his shoulders and it falls to about mid-neck and he has a white goatee. He’s not wearing a shirt, and you can see what looks like metal prosthetics grafted to his shoulder. It’s dim in the room is lit only by the holo-projector that is currently on sleep mode, so you have trouble making out exactly what kind of cybernetic pieces he might have.

He gestures calmly at you to join him at the projector. You can see that his other arm is still well-muscled although it has the distinctive look of someone who hasn’t exercised in a while and is starting to lose their edge. “Thank you for coming. I’m sure you have… a lot of questions.”

CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “We do.”

NICK: “Well, uh… Shoot.”

CAMERON: I go and sit down.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna would plop down into a chair. “So, was the destruction of an entire city of civilians part of your plan?”

NICK: “No. That was rather unfortunate. I didn’t expect them to respond so aggressively. I also didn’t expect the weapons to maintain function as long as they did.”

LAURA: “Yeah… I feel like that whole thing could have gone better if we knew what the weapon we were unleashing was so we could have timed things a bit better.”

CAMERON: “Because it did seem to be kind of a delayed response type thing, so knowing that we could have taken out some of the other systems on the ship just as precautionary measures… Tink’s really good at that. He was at a computer station. If we’d known it wasn’t an immediate flip and was going to take several hours, that’s stuff that we could’ve prepared for.”

HUDSON: “This is less questions but feedback for next time.”


LAURA: “Oh, so just general feedback for next time, do not open the airlocks if we are there, Tink.”

CAMERON: “OH no, Xianna, we’re giving Sentinel feedback.”

LAURA: “I know, but I feel like this is good feedback for everyone. I feel like we should just do a full range of team feedback.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “I might still have ten toes.”

CAMERON: This is a retrospective on how this mission went.

NICK: Xianna has sweat beading on her temples and is gesturing wildly as she’s talking about these things.

LAURA: “Because I no longer have ten toes, Tink! I have less than ten!”

HUDSON: “You know, we—“

LAURA: “More than six, but less than ten!”

HUDSON: “What’s to say that you wouldn’t have lost the toes anyway, regardless of the airlock incident, you know? Maybe it was just, that’s just the way the world works.”

LAURA: “Anyways. Yes, information about what the weapon was, and that it was going to take a lot of time, or that it was a biological weapon, any of that would have been useful information. yes.”

NICK: “Of course. You’re right when we’re considering the overall operation, but unfortunately my hands were tied as far as sharing the information, as I didn’t know how effective you would be and how much I could trust you. That was the point of this one. This was, like I said before, more of an audition for a much more important setup… which you passed, well three of you passed. If you had turned or had been captured or information about that had gotten out, we have a couple more of those kinds of weapons, if you had been able to give too much information we could’ve really lost an edge that in the long run will help save the galaxy.”

He does look genuinely regretful about the loss of life, but seems pretty determined in his resolve. “But, the good news is that you’ve passed. I know that you’re effective, and I would be willing to answer any questions at this point.”

LAURA: “Yeah, so, what is the overall goal of any of this?”

NICK: “Let me give you a little background. I’m waging a personal war against the Empire.”

LAURA: “Oh… (exhales) Okay.”

NICK: “Yeah. I know. The Order had several stores of funds scattered throughout the galaxy. I’m working to preserve the Republic, a Sentinel for the past as it were. Heh.”

CAMERON: (uneasy) “Heh-heh…”

LAURA: “(groans)”

NICK: “I will of course pay you for the work you’ve done so far, but now that you’ve passed this test, although not in the way I was expecting, if you’re willing I would like to have you participate in a beginning for the end of the Empire. We only have a few months to prepare, but we could strike a pretty significant blow.”

CAMERON: “I have a question.”

NICK: “Sure.”

CAMERON: “How did you expect that to go? Because you said it went better than expected.”

NICK: “I was expecting more of you to die, to be honest.”

CAMERON: “Comforting.”

NICK: “Well karma, I knew you were probably going to be fine, but some of the others were untested. I was expecting maybe one other person to come out of this. What you did avoid, I managed to intercept communication before I sent you on this mission that they were going to glass the planet using the Vengeance, so while a herdship was lost the Ithorians’ mother jungle was protected as well as the other herdships on the planet, so you did do some good, although I am sorry about your friend, colleague… co-worker.”

LAURA: “Person who was also on our ship.”

HUDSON: “Our best friend.”

NICK: “Yes, and I am sorry about that.”

CAMERON: “We had differing levels of relationship amongst the crew.” (laughs)

NICK: “I’m beginning to sense that.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “The point would be, if you were interested, I have a mission of some importance that I would like you to participate in. you’re actually sort of the lynch pin. I have one other team I’m getting setup to support. As far as payment for this last set, how does 20,000 credits sound for the group?”

LAURA: “Each.”

NICK: “(noise of surprise and exasperation) That’s—“

LAURA: “I lost toes.”

HUDSON: “We lost a friend.”

LAURA: “I had to find a new pair of boots. I really liked those old boots. (sadly) Okay?”

CAMERON: “My ask was gonna be for 21 so it’s split evenly.”

NICK: “Hmm. What if we do 24,000 for everyone? That’s at least 1,000 for your toes. You can buy some new boots.”

CAMERON: ‘Really nice boots.”

LAURA: ‘yes.”

NICK: “In my mind I’m not necessarily paying you for your work as ensuring that you’ll participate in this next leg, of which the payment would be significantly more, but I would hope you would be motivated by cleansing the galaxy of authoritarian evil.”

CAMERON: “Fair.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, a little left, little right.”

LAURA: “I mean, I don’t know. Like, how positive are you that this will end the Empire? Because, you know, they are kind of everywhere, and powerful, and you know.”

NICK: “The Empire is currently undergoing a very large, very secret project that is using a majority of their military assets. We’re not going to be striking that, but the people who are organizing that particular thing, who don’t know I exist by the way so if you ever run into any of them don’t say anything about that, but there are some parts of the military setup for the military they’re unaware of that I would like for you and some select allies to remove before it becomes an issue.”

LAURA: “So we’re talking the Resistance?”

NICK: “Yeah. The Resistance are launching a pretty big assault in the next few months, but they don’t know everything that’s going to be there. I figure it would be better, and preserve my own personal shadow war, if we just remove some of their obstacles without them knowing.”

HUDSON: “Why do you have this vendetta?”

LAURA: “I mean, is there anyone who does not hate the Empire at this point?”

HUDSON: “Eh. Different people for different reasons.”

NICK: “Hmm…” I need a Perception check.

CAMERON: Ooh boy.

LAURA: Can do!

CAMERON: Guys, we’re rolling!

NICK: We haven’t rolled a check in two sessions! That’s not true, we rolled one earlier.

CAMERON: No, he did a medicine check.

NICK: And an Astrogation.

CAMERON: That’s like two whole checks! What is the difficulty?

NICK: Average, but Xianna can have a blue die because it’s dim in here which is part of the problem.

CAMERON: Karma got two advantages.

LAURA: I got two successes and four advantages.

NICK: Wow.

HUDSON: I have two successes.

NICK: Karma, is there anything particularly you would want your advantages to be used on?

CAMERON: Let me think. (laughs)

NICK: Okay. we’ll come back to you. Xianna and Tink, Xianna be thinking about those advantages, you can use them to add something to the scene that makes it more interesting, you can come up with some sort of advantage that would pass on to if you have to make any other rolls like say negotiation or history or anything like that. What you see with your successes, Tink, you and Xianna both lean around this holo-projector in the middle of the room and get a pretty good look at Sentinel. You see a little bit more the extent of these injuries that he had. His cybernetics actually go from about mid-collar bone down to his hip, and it’s a giant metal piece, so you know there’s at least some synthetic organs in there as if a large part of him was carved away. The metallic pieces look like they are old and have been cared for, but that they weren’t that nice to begin with. They have that look of like a chrome finish on a hubcap where the chrome is rubbed away and it’s just kind of gross metal underneath. He is missing an entire arm, that is robotic, and he is sitting in a wheelchair actually. You can see the wheels poking out. You can’t really see what his lower body situation is, but he has a large, brown cloth over his waist, and with your successes you see that there is a sleeve dangling off of the cloth like it’s some sort of garment.

When you ask why he has a vendetta, he’s going to tell you: “I’m not entirely sure exactly how much background with me you need for me to be relevant, but I do understand that me wanting to play my Sabacc cards close to the chest has resulted in some more difficulties, so let me just say that these injuries were caused by a direct intervention of the Empire and the Emperor himself, and that I have a personal interest in seeing the Republic restored and the Empire removed. Just assume that the Empire killed a lot of my friends and made me lose my arm, a lung, a kidney, and some other things.”

HUDSON: “Checks out for me.”

NICK:  You guys can make me a Lore check if you want based on that information.

LAURA: (laughs) Can I get a blue die for one of my advantages?

NICK: You can have two blue dice, because you had four advantages.

LAURA: (gasps) Yay~

CAMERON: (laughing) Can I have a blue die for my advantages?

NICK: Sure.

CAMERON: It’s not gonna help. I’m not good at Lore.

NICK: Let’s just say that his demeanor and your interactions so far and kind of using some indicators… something is tickling in the back of your minds, y’all are starting to have some suspicions, and it means you’re more likely to figure this part out.

HUDSON: What difficulty?

NICK: This one’s gonna be hard.

CAMERON: Shit. So many of my dice- I rolled six dice, three of them just came blank… but all the ones that weren’t blank, I have three failures and one advantage.

LAURA: Three advantages.

NICK: Bummer.


HUDSON: I have two successes and two disadvantages.

NICK: Oh good. So, based on kind of what he’s been saying, the look of the cybernetics, you’re sort of an officienato I would say, and the cloth that’s over him which you recognize might be some sort of robe situation, you think this guy might be a Jedi.


CAMERON: Karma’s just like ‘this dude got fucked up at some point.’

LAURA: Xianna’s just a little tired, probably a little drunk still.

NICK: She’s got things on her mind. Tink, how do you approach that subject with this guy?

HUDSON: Is there like a vase near me, or something on a table that could fall?

CAMERON: I use my most recent advantage to make a vase appear next to Tink.

NICK: So, sitting on this first round of stadium seating there are some small holo-projectors and I guess a vase.

HUDSON: “So, Sentinel, if that vase were to just fall off of there, like there was a bump in the ship and the vase were to fall, would there be some way you could stop it from breaking without actually being by the vase?”

CAMERON: (laughing) Sideways asking about Force powers.

LAURA: “Tink, what are you even asking?”

HUDSON: “Just wait.”

LAURA: ‘Like, is there magnets in the vase that holds it to the podium, or…?”

HUDSON: “Nope. Nope. Nope. That’s not what I’m talking about.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I don’t understand why you’re asking about a vase.”

NICK: “Um… What an interesting question. What exactly would you be insinuating?”

HUDSON: “Something that rhymes with lorce flowers.”


LAURA: ‘Lorce flowers?’

NICK: He actually laughs, and he rolls his chair, it’s like an electric hovery kind of chair but it still has wheels on it, but it means it’s really easy to spin. He rolls it around the projector a little bit. Can you roll me two force dice, please? Let’s see how good he is.

HUDSON: Two black.

NICK: Heh.

CAMERON: Two dark side.

HUDSON: Two dark.

NICK: He holds his arm out, his still biological arm, and you see a look of intense concentration on his face, and the vase begins to wobble a little bit, then he looks really upset and sad at the same time and tears his arm away. “Ugh. Yeah, I used to be a lot better at that, but… Yes, I would theoretically be able to stop the vase.”

CAMERON: So at this point do Karma and Xianna know what’s going on?

HUDSON: (laughs)

NICK: Yeah. I mean, I would say that you probably do.

CAMERON: “You were a Jedi.”

NICK: “Yes. I was a member of that illustrious order years ago.”

CAMERON: “Cool.”

LAURA: “I saw some Jedi once.”

NICK: “How’d that go?”

LAURA: “Uh, well I mean, they rescued our city from the separatists. I mean, a few years later we were then occupied by the Empire, but you know. For a year or two it was fun.”

NICK: “The disappearance of the Jedi is why I’m waging my own guerilla war here from the outer rim. The Order 66 by the Emperor and the betrayal of the clones resulted in the destruction of my order, and you know, just not a big fan of the whole fascist industrial regime. I’d really like that to be taken down and bring the Republic back. I would hope that knowing a little bit more of my story, and I’d be able to answer any more of your questions, that you would be interested especially with monetary reward in becoming freedom fighters.”

LAURA: “I mean, how much money are you suggesting?”

NICK: “So, those stores that I have scattered around the galaxy, those were Jedi emergency funds hidden anonymously in different banks and planetary economies, and I have access to a pretty solid amount, I’d rather not say exactly, and it’s smaller than it used to be but I could offer you quite a bit of money. How much would it take? I don’t want to buy your loyalty, but I will.”

CAMERON: “You might have to buy hers.”

LAURA: “Yeah. More than what we were paid for this mission.”

NICK: “Oh, well of course.”

LAURA: “At least twice as much.”

NICK: “How about… I’ll do even more than that. With a promise of your, I won’t even say devotion to the cause, but rightfully considering doing the right thing, 75,000 credits.”

LAURA: “Okie. I’m good with that.”

HUDSON: “I just like that we’re working with a Jedi.”

LAURA: “I’ll take your portion then.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “No, no, it’s okay. I have a question. Do you have a data breaker?”

NICK: ‘Um…”

HUDSON: “Because I kind of want one, or do you know where I can get one?”

NICK: “I don’t have one with me- Well, I do have one with me, but I’m using it.” He looks pointedly at the droid that’s standing really still by the door. Something I don’t think that Star Wars highlights enough but I really like the idea of is that a droid being a non-living being should be able to stand as still as a couch and be easily forgotten. So, this droid, you don’t even know if it’s turned on, it’s just really still. He looks at that. Tink, I would say with your background you would probably recognize that this protocol droid has been modified quite a bit. Karma you might remember that this particular droid tazed Felton Mox when you turned him in as a bounty. Obviously it’s got some things.

CAMERON: Oh yeah.

NICK: That being said, Tink, “Tinkralllkat…”

HUDSON: “Sorry, that’s Rallltinkraatakat.”

NICK: “Rallltinkraatakat.” His pronunciation ain’t bad.

HUDSON: Not bad.

NICK: It’s not bad, but it sounds like someone who’s dealt with Gigorans before, which is weird. Most people do not.

HUDSON: We’ve never addressed that that’s my real name.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, I just assumed Tink was not a real name.”

HUDSON: “No one bothered to ask me what my real name was.”

LAURA: “I mean…”

HUDSON: “Do y’all even care?”

LAURA: “Kind of.”

HUDSON: “Okay. It’s Rallltinkraatakat.”

LAURA: “Okie. Thank you for that information.”

HUDSON: “You’re welcome.”

LAURA: “So, if that is your real name you should not be using Tink when we go to missions. Stop telling people your name is Tink then.”

HUDSON: “No, I mean, it’s—“

NICK: “It’s a very common Gigoran epithet.

HUDSON: “Exactly. He’s got me.”

LAURA: “Oh. Okay.”

NICK: “As far as a data breaker goes, I won’t be able to lend you mine as I’m currently using it, but any black market, any hacker contact, you should be able to purchase one. They are quite expensive, but I did just give you a lot of money.”

CAMERON: “I know a guy.”

HUDSON: “Alright.”

NICK: “You know a guy?”

CAMERON: “I know a guy. I’ve acquired one in the past.”

LAURA: “I could find some people.”

NICK: ‘She has Streetwise.’ (laughs)

LAURA: (smoothly) I have Streetwise.

CAMERON: Hey I do too! (laughs) Also, also I know a guy.

NICK: “So, 75,000 credits for the next job, 24,000 credits… I can give you 12,000 now and have the rest wired to your ship within a couple of days. I don’t have it all sitting in this abandoned space station, unfortunately.”

CAMERON: “That’s fair.”

NICK: “That should give you enough to operate on and gather whatever supplies you need. Is the price enough to ensure that you will help me in my task to destroy the Empire?”

LAURA: “Mmm… Yes. Yes.”

CAMERON: “I mean, I was already onboard.”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

NICK: “Wonderful. What a momentous occasion.”

CAMERON: “It does feel momentous.”

NICK: “It does to me, or maybe that’s just the rust acting up.” He twists his shoulder a little bit.

CAMERON: It makes a weird grating sound.

NICK: Yeah. (laughs)

HUDSON: Did Sentinel say there’s a second group helping him as well?

NICK: Yes he did.

HUDSON: And that would be like Chairbottom Team, instead of Tabletop Squadron?

NICK: Chairbottom Team.


NICK: Oh no… (groans and laughs)

LAURA: Chairbottom Platoon.

HUDSON: Platoon, I like that better.

NICK: Chairbottom Platoon.

CAMERON: “Yeah, important question: Are we the alpha or the beta group?”

HUDSON: “Yeah?”

NICK: “You are the alpha group.”

CAMERON: “Okay. I just want to know if we’re good, guys.”

NICK: “The beta group is not completely assembled yet. They’re still going through the same sort of initiation / fixing mission that I sent you on, but you’ll be tenuously in contact with them in the future.”

CAMERON: “If they’re doing what we just did you may want to wire them some further instructions, just based on our feedback session earlier.”

LAURA: “Send them some first aid kits.”

NICK: “Theirs is a little bit less sensitive than yours was.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay.”

NICK: “So, with you being down a member, my plan does involve teams of four, so we will need to replace one of those. I don’t believe we have enough time to recruit another trustworthy mercenary, but I may have a line on another option. I’ll reach out to my contacts and—“ As he’s talking and he turns around to hit something on his chair, a com light starts blinking on the big projector thing. Sentinel stops talking and kind of motions for you all to step away from the table back behind where the projector is. Do you do it?

CAMERON: I back up.


LAURA: I scoot my chair back. (laughs)

NICK: (screeching noises)

LAURA: Oh, it definitely makes a horrible screech.

CAMERON: Oh gross.

NICK: The protocol droid’s eyes aren’t turned on, but its head turns to follow you ever so slowly.

LAURA: Well, because I’m only using one foot to push the chair back- (laughs)

NICK: So it doesn’t go very far. (laughs) He takes his blanket, which you now see is a Jedi robe, and throws it up over his shoulder so it looks more like a toga thing, and he makes a motion for you all to stay quiet, and he answers the call. In the hologram you see from the waist up someone in formal kind of senatorial robes, they’re bald and have a line of horns along the back, they’re tan. You hear the hologram say, “Sentinel! Old friend! What a pleasant surprise.”

Sentinel says, “You are the one who called me.”

“Unimportant! Listen. I helped you out with that last gig and I’m afraid I need a favor in return. You see, I’ve lost some standing in the Empire after a deserter seems to have escaped my grasp. Normally some bribes in the right place would smooth all that over, but one of my more lucrative trading partners seems to have been senselessly murdered during a recent exchange. Tragic stuff.”

Falx – uh, it’s Falx (laughter) – places a hand over his heart and poses sadly. He waits for Sentinel to say something sympathetic but it just turns into a long, awkward pause.

“Anyway! The point is I’m being forced into the political arena in a more active fashion than I’m usually used to and I’d like some protection. How’s that new crew of fixers you sent me doing?”

Sentinel says, “They are busy, and out of contact.” He makes eye contact with you all. “I won’t be able to send them to you.”

“Well, you better figure out a way to get in contact with them quickly if you want them to still be useful, because otherwise I might be forced to tell certain Empire contacts about what they’ve been up to. Of course, I would never mention any connection to you, but it’d be a shame if they were to end up on the most wanted lists.”

“You’re attempting to blackmail me into letting you use my associates?”

“Now you’re getting it!”

Sentinel looks at you all again and says, “Hold please.”

“Wait, I—“ and the hologram freezes.

“As much as I would like to begin the next phase of our mission, it would appear that I need you to deal with this. Will you help me to keep this imbecile quiet? I need him alive. He’s been helpful if treacherous.”

LAURA: “I mean, we did kind of… we were the ones who killed his trading partner, I guess.”

NICK: “Oh.”

LAURA: “Also, in our defense, he did send us with an empty briefcase for trading, so I think he was trying to kill us just in a very roundabout way. I mean, so yes.”

CAMERON: “We may have also been the reason that the deserter escaped. That was us.”

LAURA: “Oh yes. We let them escape.”

HUDSON: “Our fingers in a lot of different pies right now.”

CAMERON: (laughing) “That was an eventful few days there at the start of this.”

LAURA: “Oh. I guess we just let the one escape. Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Apparently he did a terrible job staying hidden like we said he was going to.”

LAURA: “Yeah. I mean, he wanted to leave the Empire, so…”

CAMERON: “Okay.”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

NICK: Sentinel looks equal parts amused and concerned at this. “It seems that you all were quite busy in the original exchange to get the Stone Breaker.”

CAMERON: “Well, Falx wouldn’t give it to us unless we did something for him, and then you probably know since you found everyone else on the crew, but there were a lot of bounties out there for people, so he knew who’d put those bounties up, so then we had to go on that other thing to basically do what you’re trying to do right now, just kind of avoid that whole snafu.”

NICK: “Hmm… Well, he is the best at procuring most of the things I need and is surprisingly insightful into the interior of the Empire, so if you all are willing to do whatever he needs, keep him alive, he doesn’t necessarily have to stay in one piece, just enough to stay useful.”

CAMERON: “We can manage that.”

LAURA: “Probably.”

CAMERON: Karma adjusts her sword strap over her shoulder.

HUDSON: “We got this.”

LAURA: “Most likely.”

NICK: “So we’re in agreement.” He motions for you all to be quiet again.

Falx’s hologram unfreezes. “That’s incredibly rude, my friend.”

“You once had an imperial cruiser crash into my hideout.”

“Fair! So, were you able to make contact with that crew, almost as if some kind of magic?” You can see him wiggling his fingers on either side dramatically.

Sentinel says, “Luckily they’ve made contact. I will send them to your location.”

“Marvelous! Tell them to head to Mustafar, to the mining platform closest to the north pole of the planet, they’ll know it when they see it, and tell them to be ready. This will be challenging.”

The hologram clicks off leaving you in darkness again. You can see Sentinel rest his face in his hands and take a deep breath. As he takes a deep breath you actually hear some mechanical cirvos come from some of his robot parts.

“Well, I guess before we can move onto the next stage we’ll need you to deal with whatever mess is going on there. I’ll continue to research where your fourth mercenary will come from in the meantime.”

LAURA: “Can you get someone who has actual skills in being a scoundrel? Because the last one… I’m not even sure what he was. He did seem like a good politician, but he didn’t seem like any sort of con artist. Basically, maybe a more rigid application.”

CAMERON: Karma kinda like brings her hand up and is trying really hard not to laugh, because Sabos died, but at the same time very much agrees with the sentiments that Xianna’s saying.

NICK: Sentinel gets a really devious smile on his face. “If this lead works out, skillset will not be an issue.”

CAMERON: “Great.”

LAURA: “Okay?”

CAMERON: “So I guess we’re going to Mustafar. Not great safari stuff on Mustafar.”

HUDSON: “(sighs) You know, I can wait. I really want the loth animals.”

CAMERON: “Okay…”

NICK: (laughs) And I guess that’s where we’ll end the episode.

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

NICK: Yay.

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and give the squad warm fuzzies when we read them.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download:Episode 14 We Are Gathered Here Today

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 14:
We Are Gathered Here Today

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Hey… You doing okay? Last episode was kind of rough, huh? Yeah… I’ll give a plot summary when the episode starts so everyone’s on the same page if you decided to skip it, but a couple of real life things… Sabos is really gone. Our friend Steven has had some serious life things come up and he needed to focus on that. We’re still friends, we still hang out, he’s still a super cool dude. We had dinner with him last week. He just can’t commit to the recording schedule we run, and we hope the entire internet will wish him well.

On a happier note, we found a new way to track international reviews. We have one from way back in June that I missed because it’s from outside the US. Marius Konrad, thank you for your kind words and thank you for being a super awesome person. I also want to thank Interrodang for their lovely Sabos-centric review of the show. We talk to her on a pretty regular basis on Twitter and it’s always a blast.

Speaking of Twitter, I have an update on our Twitter drive! We’ve gained 25 followers. We’ve done our first NPC poll, and the NPC will be a Gungan. Also, Gungan ended up tied with Chiss, so it’ll be a blue Gungan. This is already going to be challenging for me as a GM, and I love it. Come follow us and help us decide what the mystery Gungan’s job is. Our next Twitter poll will be at 115 followers. We’re only six away.

If you’re not on Twitter, I joined it specifically to talk to podcasts I love, and we really like to talk to people. Consider it a chatroom with your favorite content creators. It’s worth following just to watch Cameron actively mess with me on Twitter over this stuff. Remember, when we hit our Twitter goal we’ll release a bonus Jedi Adventure on off weeks, and a pretty lengthy blooper reel that I’ve had stashed since we started.

Anyway, thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 14 of Tabletop Squadron. Good to have you back to this very somber and special episode. I’m your host, Nick. We’ll go around the table real quick, have everybody introduce themselves, and if you spent any experience from the last time we played why don’t you let our listeners know what you spent it on. We’re gonna start with Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello! I’m Cameron. I am playing karma Nailo the Nautolan bounty hunter, and I bought two talents on my Assassin skill tree. I bought Jump Up, so once per round I may stand from seated or prone as an incidental, and I bought Quick Strike, so I can add a blue die per rank of Quick Strike to combat checks against targets that have not acted yet this encounter.

NICK: Great. You’re becoming more ninja-like there.


NICK: Let’s move on to Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson, and I play Tink the Gigoran slicer. I used 10 experience points to raise my Deception from 0 to 1, so I can start being deceptiver.


LAURA: Guys… Hudson, you have 10 experience points still?


LAURA: Buy a rank in Medicine, please.

CAMERON: Ooh, yeah.

HUDSON: Wait, can I do that?

NICK: Yeah.

HUDSON: Alright. I buy a rank in Medicine as well.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. While he’s doing that…

CAMERON: That’s gonna come up. (laughs)

NICK: Finally, we have Laura.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura.


LAURA: I play Xianna’fan, and I used my points to purchase Natural Rogue on my talent tree which lets me re-roll one Stealth or Skulduggery check a session.

NICK: Wow. That’s pretty good. Cool.

LAURA: Yes. It’s pretty far down on the tree, so it’s special.

NICK: Nice. Well, that’s everyone, frowny face. So, moving on. (laughter, “womp” noises)

Quick recap from what’s happened most recently: You all were able to board the super star destroyer Vengeance, release some sort of experimental and scary bioweapon, destroyed the ship, but in the process of the ship being destroyed the herdship on Ithor that you were resting on got bombarded and crashed, and in the process of escaping your party member Sabos was obliterated and is no more. You were able to get to the ship, fly away, and jump to hyperspace. You did a blind jump nearby. Let’s roll for destiny. I don’t think we’re gonna use it, but…

LAURA: Two light side.

CAMERON: Two light side!

HUDSON: One dark side.

CAMERON: Aw, Hudson. Four light side, one dark side.

NICK: The lines of hyperspace shrink back to white pinpoints in the view screen of the cockpit of the Afternoon Delight. The camera is over Karma’s shoulder as she pulls the lever that takes the crew out of hyperspace. Her head tails are covered in soot, and you can see deep gouges on the back of her armor. We see Xianna, still strapped into a gunner’s chair, looking out into space. Smoke streaks her face as she looks out at the silent stars. She goes to unhook herself from the chair, and we see her flinch as she stretches her back. Tink is in the engine room. He’s holding a wrench and looking at a length of coolant tubing. His fur is singed and has streaks of blood.

The ship took a short hyperspace hop to the edge of the system. There was little prep and it strained the engines, but it was necessary to get away before the Imperial fleet recovered from the loss of the super star destroyer Vengeance. You’re out of the trade lanes and no one tracked you when you jumped. You have some time. What do you do?

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna completely unbuckle herself from the seat and sort of just flop out of it (laughs) onto the floor, sit there for a little bit, and then yell out, “Tink!”

HUDSON: “Yes?”

LAURA: “Um… I am quite injured. Can you help me to a bed, please?”

HUDSON: “Oh, sure.” I go over and I pick up Xianna.

NICK: One important thing to throw in there is, the ship is pretty large and you’re separated, so you’re using the com system which is great, but there’s definitely gonna be a shot of Tink climbing his way through the ship and out of the engine compartment and up into the gunnery bay, looking strong but hurt.

HUDSON: The pain isn’t just physical.

NICK: (laughs)


HUDSON: “Guys, where’s Sabos?”

CAMERON: Oh fuck. (laughs)

LAURA: “Oh… Oh, I must have had the coms just for the cockpit… Oh yeah, Sabos died.”

HUDSON: “Whaaat?”

LAURA: “He is like so dead. Can you get me to a bed, please?”

CAMERON: “Yeah, he um… We can talk while we walk. Let’s get her to that room that we were using earlier.”

HUDSON: Tears start streaming down my face, and I pick up Xianna, and I get some blood on her, accidentally.

LAURA: You get some blood on you too. I am bleeding quite a bit.


CAMERON: Y’all are just sharing bodily fluids.

HUDSON: Exactly.

NICK: Yuck.


CAMERON: Yeah~ … Sorry. (giggles)

HUDSON: So, I carry you to the bed. “You don’t want to stop off in the shower or anything? Get all this blood off?”

LAURA: “Um… I’ll just sit here for a moment.”

HUDSON: “Alright.”

LAURA: “Can you hand me the bottle of whiskey, please? I’m just going to take that right now.”

HUDSON: I hand her the bottle of whiskey.

LAURA: I pop it open and I do start taking swigs of it.

HUDSON: “So, uh, I’ve been reading this book called Becoming Medicine written by someone who really shouldn’t be writing medical books, but I’m learning a lot and I think I can actually help fix you up a bit.”

LAURA: “I mean, at this point, go for it.”

CAMERON: “Okay, so, walk me through your initial plan. What do you think needs to be done?”

HUDSON: “First of all, basically, I don’t have the right outfit which is really one of the more important parts, so I get a pizza cutter…”


HUDSON: “…and I detach it from the pizza cutter tool, and I put a strap on it, and I put it around my head…”

CAMERON: “Okay. Yup.”

HUDSON: “…like old school medical, and then I get some cloths and I kind of blow on them if there’s any dust, so you know, there’s not any contamination, from you know, germs. Get some straps, get some rubbing alcohol, and some Q-tips… and some eye drops just in case their eyes are dry, and then I kind of put them all into this box I have because I don’t have a handle bag yet that looks cool…”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay…”

HUDSON: “…and I bring it over to Xianna.”

CAMERON: “Alright-“

LAURA: “Wow.”


CAMERON: “So, the rubbing alcohol and the Q-tips, those look good. Cloths will be useful for wiping up some of the blood. You look like you have a fair amount of glass sticking out of you… We’ll probably remove that first.”

LAURA: “Oh yes.”

HUDSON: “So if you actually press down on the skin it pops out.”

CAMERON: “Nope. Doesn’t. Here, um—“

LAURA: “Oh- No…”

CAMERON: “I found some tweezers earlier.”

HUDSON: “Oh. That’s actually probably a little better.”

CAMERON: “Here. You can have a set, too. Let’s…”

HUDSON: “Oh. This reminds me of Operation as a kid. Sabos loved operation. (sobs)”

LAURA: “Um… Okay.”

CAMERON: “Y’all must’ve had a lot of conversations while me and Xianna weren’t there.”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

HUDSON: “We started to get kinda close. You know?”

CAMERON: “Yeah. Um… Kinda weird that we only knew him like a week-ish, right?”

LAURA: “Yeah, so anyways, do you want to get the glass out of me, please?”


HUDSON: With the tweezers, I start picking the glass out.

CAMERON: I hold two Q-tips and I use them as tweezers to pull glass out of Xianna. (laughs)

LAURA: Well, I mean, that’s how you use Q-tips, right?

CAMERON: Yeah, yeah.

HUDSON: No. They’re for your ears.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: Except they’re not.

HUDSON: yeah, they’re not.

CAMERON: Okay. Anyway. So, do we need to make a Medicine check to…?

NICK: Yes you do!

CAMERON: Okay. Hudson, make the check, because Tink’s smarter. Can he have a blue die because I’m assisting with my own set of tweezers?

NICK: Yes you can. It’s going to be a hard check, because the Agonizing Wound critical injury is on the hard part of the chart.

HUDSON: One success.

NICK: Great. You fix the Agonizing Wound.


HUDSON: I did it.

NICK: You’re able to get the glass out without doing much more damage. There’s a worrying amount of blood, but in your book Becoming Medicine it reiterates repeatedly: “There’s going to be a lot of blood, but that’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

HUDSON: There’s actually this whole part that’s really supposed to raise your self-esteem where you keep your own little notebook of your medical journeys, so it’s called Tink’s Medical Journeys. I open it, and on the first line, my very first time, it’s gonna say: “Fixed up Xianna’s glass problem.” Smiley face on the right column. (laughter) So, if it’s bad then it’s kinda like frowny face or neutral “meh” face.

CAMERON: (grinning): Do they have like the range of smiley faces and you have to circle which one was the result, or is it just freeform? You just decided to do smiley faces?

HUDSON: I decide which smiley face to put down.

CAMERON: OH, okay.

HUDSON: Like, if I’m stressed about it I might put a little drop of sweat or something on the smiley face. It’s very freeform. They kind of push for that.

CAMERON: Oh, okay. Cool.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: It’s based on your own emotions.


CAMERON: It’s your own medical journey. You need to get there however you get there.


NICK: Tink’s character arc is now just about him going to med school apparently.


LAURA: Making your parents proud.

HUDSON: So I start crying again.


CAMERON: Karma’s gonna finish wiping Xianna up, use the rubbing alcohol.

LAURA: “Can you stop crying please?”

HUDSON: “You just let someone into your life, even if it’s just for a week or something, and then their gooone! (sobs)”

CAMERON: “Yeah…”

LAURA: “Yeah… Whatever. Can we decide what we are doing now?”

HUDSON: “(sobs)”

CAMERON: “Tink, have you ever lost a crew member before?”

HUDSON: “Uh… No.”

LAURA: “Well, it is best to just shove those emotions down, move on, forget about them…”

CAMERON: (laughing) Oh, that is not what I was going to say.

LAURA: “Can we have some bandages? I’m still bleeding a bit.”

CAMERON: “Oh sure.” I go and get the box of Band-Aids, and hand them to Xianna, and then turn back to Tink.

LAURA: I start putting Band-Aids, just slapping them on here and there, like, ‘eh, oh look, there’s a wound.’ Slap! Band-Aid!

NICK: They’re like the big hand-sized adhesive ones, so- A big stack of those.

LAURA: yeah. I’m just throwing them on wherever I feel like I need them, taking sips of whiskey in between. Yeah.

HUDSON: “(sobbing) Can we at least make a memorial or something?”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “Yeah… Yeah, so—“

LAURA: “What? No.” (laughs)

CAMERON: “Xianna, you don’t have to participate if you don’t feel the need to. You can stay here and finish patching yourself up. Tink, why don’t we go to Sabos’s room and see if he has anything in there that we could use in the memorial?”

LAURA: “Oh, yes!” Xianna leans over to Tink. “Tink… If he has any good stuff, give it to me~”

HUDSON: “Donate it to the memorial? You got it!”

LAURA: “No, like—“

HUDSON: We walk to the room.

LAURA: “Loot his room, please.”


CAMERON: It’ll be a memorial on the ship. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Things can be accessed at a later point if necessary.

HUDSON: So, we enter the room of Sabos.


NICK: Okay. Sabos’s room is a pretty standard birth. It’s got a couple of bunk beds on it. It is covered in that red shag carpeting on the ceiling, floors and walls. His has a particularly large and ornate mirror on one side. There’s a little bathroom suite with the sink and a refresher kind of tucked away. It seems fairly standard. There are some of his articles. Y’all have lived on the ship for almost two weeks at this point, so it’s the kind of stuff that gets scattered around a hotel room when you’ve been there for a while. None of his expeditionary gear, because that was all on him at the time, but these would be small personal effects. So, everybody tell me one thing of Sabos’s that might be scattered around his quarters now that he’s gone.

HUDSON: There’s the weirdest looking night cap for his head tails that I guess he wears at night.

CAMERON: Oh, nice! (giggles)

LAURA: (giggles) Oh, they’re like knit, and there’s four little knitted head tails coming off of it.

HUDSON: yeah.


NICK: What color is it?

HUDSON: It’s like patterned.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh. I was imagining that like speckled oatmeal color that you see in old knitted sweaters.

HUDSON: We can make that happen. Yeah. Let’s have it be that.

NICK: Okay. There’s that. It’s bigger than you would expect. You instantly recognize what it is even though you never saw him wear it, or touch it, or talk about it, but you realize how much volume goes into a head tail… and it’s off-putting and nostalgic at the same time.

CAMERON: I think it works like he pulls it up the head tails and then it hooks onto the montrals on top so it stays up. That’s how it actually hooks onto his head. So, it has the four, but also has two smaller ones on top.

NICK: Mm-hmm. Yup. So, you’ve got that. What else is in this room?

CAMERON: He’s got a bag in the corner that’s just full of nice, fresh, never been worn shirts.

NICK: Oh. Nice. Yeah. There are some shirts that look like they’re for a safari situation, some dress shirts, towards the bottom you even see some formal wear that you would wear for things… and they’re all still wrapped.

CAMERON: He just got real attached to just the vest look, but he’d packed for all weather gear, just thought the vest looked cool so he decided to keep wearing that.

HUDSON: I start crying again and talk about how we talked about going on safaris.


HUDSON: There was actually safari gear?

NICK: Yeah.

HUDSON: “Aw, he was real, he was talking about real plans.”

NICK: (laughs) yeah. So, Tink crouches over the bag and is a blubbering, white, hairy mess. It’s very sad. You can see him shuttering from where you’re at. What else is in this room?

HUDSON: Are you in there with us, Xianna?


CAMERON: No, but Laura gets to add something.

NICK: No, but Laura gets to add a thing to the room.

LAURA: I can still add a thing…

HUDSON: Oh, okay.

LAURA: …I just can’t figure out what I wanna add.

NICK: Xianna doesn’t give a shit, but Laura cares about the story.


LAURA: Yes. I kind of imagine that Sabos just doesn’t exist until he’s in there. He’s only there when other people can see him.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: He has no personal life. He doesn’t exist.

NICK: We can work with that. There could be, like, besides these couple of things the room is actually very empty and doesn’t look lived in at all.

CAMERON: There’s just a ton of IDs and they all have different names on them, but it’s all his picture. (laughs)

HUDSON: I was just thinking about that.

LAURA: Oh! Yeah. So, there’s not much else in the room, but on a little table in the corner he had stuff to make fake IDs, but it’s all the cheapest equipment he could get and a lot of it looks repurposed from other crafting hobbies. He’s pretty much just coloring in with crayons and then laminating with just large pieces of tape. (laughs) That level.

NICK: It’s like he got a scrapbooking kit, and then went: ‘Now I can forge things.’

LAURA: Yeah. I think one of them literally says Scrapbooking for Beginners, and there’s a bunch of different IDs and everything’s spelled wrong, like his own planet name is spelled differently on every single one. We’re still not sure which is the correct way to spell Osaron.

NICK: Great.

CAMERON: All of the names are something like Sabos, but the Bs are changed to other letters, so it’s like super not clear.

LAURA: There’s a Savos.

CAMERON: There’s a Sados.

LAURA: A Safos.

CAMERON: yeah. It’s just real strange. A Sagos.

LAURA: A Tabos. The B is there, but the S is different.

CAMERON: Yeah. So he may have had a Sako one as well at some point. Who knows? (laughs)

NICK: Maybe~ So, that’s the room. Like Laura said, besides those few items scattered around this room looks very sparse, like very not lived in. the bed is made immaculately, but you know Sabos probably wouldn’t be someone to do that. It’s like he never really used it. This is what is left of your friend, compatriot, co-worker, depending on what you think your relationship is with them. so, now what?

CAMERON: Alright.

HUDSON: “What do we do about the memorial?”

CAMERON: “Well, so we have this head tail thing… I think if we can find something to kind of just set this on, that could kind of be the centerpiece of the memorial. Um… Have you seen any like Styrofoam heads anywhere on the ship? (laughing) I don’t think I’ve seen any. Oh! There’s some empty alcohol bottles. We could use one of those to just kind of hold it up.”

HUDSON: “One for each head tail.”

CAMERON: “Yup. We need six actually, because we need one for each head tail and then one for each montral to actually hold it up.” So I grab some—

HUDSON: Oh, we have six empties.

CAMERON: Yeah. Well, it’s mostly empty at this point. Xianna’s gotten to most of it, and they weren’t super full to begin with. She’s finished quite a few bottles. We grab that and come back in, and we kind of set it up so where the head tail thing is upright and they’re kind of draped across. We’re just setting up a little alcove in this bedroom. (laughs) “We can scatter the cards around?”

HUDSON: “Yeah. That feels right.”

CAMERON: “I don’t know if we need to include the shirts. There’s kind of a lot of them. we can just add them to our costume closet and then it’s like Sabos is always with us.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, or if we ever somehow come across a new companion who needs a safari outfit.”

CAMERON: (laughing) “That’s true. That’s very true.”

HUDSON: “I’m really stuck on the safari thing. I was real excited about that. Just…”

CAMERON: “Yup. Well… Do you know where you were gonna go on safari? Did you have a planet picked out?”

HUDSON: “Yeah… We had plans to go to Lothal to go on some exciting adventures and explorations and see some loth animals.”

CAMERON: “Aww. Well, I don’t know exactly what our travel itinerary is, but we can try and make sure a safari happens? I know it won’t be quite the same, but I think Sabos would want you to go.”

HUDSON: “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

CAMERON: ‘Have you been to many other planets before? Because you sounded real excited about that, and Lothal’s cool, but I don’t know…”

HUDSON: “You’re saying there’s a better planet than Lothal to go on a safari on?”

CAMERON: “I mean, I’m sure we could come up with one, but…”


CAMERON: “If you want to see loth animals, Lothal is the place to go.”

HUDSON: “I wanna see loth animals.”

CAMERON: “Okay, then yeah, Lothal is the best place to go to safari.”

HUDSON: “I’m about that. Alright.”

CAMERON: “It was just you seemed very excited about this adventuring in particular, so…”

HUDSON: “He just really talked it up. I don’t know. Just the way his head tails would just stiffen when he would talk about it, it just really brought excitement to everyone around.”

CAMERON: (snickers, laughing) Karma’s trying real hard to be supportive mom, and is just struggling more and more as we keep talking about head tails.

LAURA: Right about now, Xianna walks in, kinda leans against the door, and is holding a different bottle of alcohol in one hand and a package of instant noodles. “Is anyone hungry? I’m going to make noodles.”

HUDSON: “Oh no. she’s out of it. You can’t make noodles with alcohol as the liquid that boils.”

LAURA: “I mean… You can…”

CAMERON: “I think technically-“

LAURA: “…it just doesn’t work well. I’m going to use water.”

HUDSON: “Oh. You were holding both, so I just assumed.”

LAURA: “No. I’m just going to consume both.”

HUDSON: “Oh. Okay. I’d like some noodles.”

LAURA: “Okay. Tink’s getting noodles. Karma, you want noodles?”

CAMERON: “Yes please.”

LAURA: “I think there is some sort of spicy one. You want spicy or regular?”

HUDSON: “Spicy. I’m no wimp.”

LAURA: “Okay. Two spicy. What about you?”

CAMERON: “I’ll take regular.”

LAURA: “Okay. Two spicy, one regular.”

CAMERON: “I am a wimp. (laughs)”

LAURA: She turns around. There’s like a little bit of blood still on the door from where she leaned.

CAMERON: (smiling) She’s doing a lot better.

LAURA: You hear the microwave start beeping.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Real quick, Tink, what does your Becoming Medicine book say about people drinking with massive blood loss?

HUDSON: Well, conventionally you’re not supposed to, but in reality if it makes you feel good that’s what really gets the blood flowing.

NICK: (smiling) That’s… Okay. This is a good medical textbook.

HUDSON: (laughs)


NICK: I am so glad this has become a part of the ship. This is great.

HUDSON: This is banned on six planets!

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: Who was it written by?!

HUDSON: The books were written by Dr. Evazan, but on the first page they say something about how the word doctor has to be in quotes due to a law suit, so it says “Doctor,” quote-quote, Dr. Evazan.

NICK: (laughing) This is good. I like this a lot. Okay. Noodles are getting made. You all have made a small shrine to Sabos.

CAMERON: I find some candles.

NICK: Find some candles.

CAMERON: They’re the electronic ones though, so I can just flip a switch and they’re there, so we don’t have to worry about it burning up all the oxygen in the ship.

NICK: Alright. You put some votives under, get them running… What else?

CAMERON: I’m gonna take the bag of shirts and go and add them to our cosplay closet.

NICK: Okay. I’ll make a note that there are more shirts in the closet of costume change.

CAMERON: I lovingly stroke the Imperial cloak as I close the door. (laughs)

NICK: That one was a favorite, and it somehow avoided getting damaged at all, because it was on the ship during the whole escape, so you didn’t have to deal with not getting that anymore.

HUDSON: “Guys, were we Sabos’s emergency contact for anyone, like his family? Are we gonna get a call from Mr. and Ms. Sabos, like, the parents?”

CAMERON: “I think it would probably be Mr. and Mrs. Niks. That was his last name.”

HUDSON: “Oh. Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. Uh… Honestly, I have no idea. I think what we have to go on is that he was from a colony called Osaron. It sounded like he may have gotten kicked off of Shili and made to go to the colony, so I don’t know if it was a full family thing or if that happened once he was an adult. So, it’s a very good question, but I honestly have no clue.”

HUDSON: “Hmm.”

LAURA: “Karma!”


LAURA: “Your noodles are ready~”

CAMERON: “Oh thank you!”

LAURA: “Tink! Yours will be ready in a moment. The spicy ones take longer to cook for some reason.”

HUDSON: “I have patience.”

CAMERON: ‘Okay. let’s head into the dining room, (laughs) and we can keep talking while we eat.”

NICK: Ooh. We haven’t described the dining room for your overly nice ship yet.

LAURA: Oh, are we in a separate dining room? I imagined I was in the little kitchenette area at the table.

CAMERON: Well yeah, but then you have to take your microwaved noodles to the dining room to eat.

NICK: There’s definitely a durasteel table with a finish on it that makes it look like nice wood, and it just comes out of the ground. It’s not bolted to the ground, the hull of the ship is formed into this nice table. There’s high back chairs. It sits about ten people in this. All of it is tucked into a doorway that looks like it goes into part of the freight storage area, like there’s a niche there, but it’s this small door that you haven’t really looked at before and then when you walk in there’s paintings on the wall and it’s very nice and it’s lit by a hanging candelabra type thing with electronic candles in it.

LAURA: Xianna’s there at one of the seats and has three things of noodles in front of her, and no longer a bottle of alcohol but a very large coffee mug. There’s probably some coffee in it…

HUDSON: (laughs)

LAURA: A pot of coffee was made—or a pot of caf…

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: …was made in the little kitchenette area, so yeah.

CAMERON: Karma’s gonna pour herself some caf on her way in. it’s been a long day already.

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: There’s probably a bottle of alcohol next to the caf. (laughs)

CAMERON: I leave that there, and I just take the caf.

HUDSON: Is Kenobi’s Irish Cream a thing?

NICK: It is now. (laughs)

LAURA: Oh yeah. It’s definitely like a Corellian coffee.

HUDSON: Oh, I getcha.

LAURA: Just like coffee, whiskey, and maybe… yeah, space Bailey’s.

NICK: Yeah. Space Bailey’s is now officially called Kenobi’s Irish Cream.


LAURA: Kenobi’s Irish Cream.

NICK: Nobody knows what the Irish part means.

HUDSON: (laughs) Yeah. What is that?

NICK: (smiling) Doesn’t matter. Yeah. So, you all are seated around the table with your space ramen and coffee, and other beverages.

LAURA: “So, any plans for where we go after this?”

HUDSON: “I’m grieving too much. Someone else make a decision.”

CAMERON: ‘I was kind of figuring that Sentinel would reach back out to us. That last part of the job didn’t go… well, I would say.”

LAURA: “Yeah. You think?”

CAMERON: “Yeah, you know the whole getting the herdship destroyed anyway kind of seems like it was probably not the plan, and we probably should have been given some more information about what we were dealing with.”

HUDSON: “So it’s really not our fault.”

LAURA: “No. it is not our fault. So, yeah, are we going to keep working for Sentinel? Because my vote for that is no.”

HUDSON: “Mmm… Let’s see what he has to say.”

CAMERON: (contemplative) “Yeah… I’m—Hmm.”

LAURA: “Hmm…”

CAMERON: “I’m heavily leaning in the ‘no longer trusting of this person’ camp, but they also haven’t paid us yet.”

HUDSON: “We gotta get that far.”


LAURA: “So, we get him to pay us, then we shoot him, and then we go work for someone else. Yeah.”

HUDSON: “That won’t have any repercussions.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “No. None at all.”

HUDSON: “That was sarcasm I am not good at doing. That will have repercussions.”

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: “I mean, maybe, but we just go to a different planet, change our names, go from there.”

HUDSON: “Ah, I need to think of a new name… This is where it gets fun, so I mean I guess I’m okay with this plan right now.”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “I’m really against the whole having to change my name thing.”

HUDSON: “Really?”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

LAURA: “It’s pretty easy.”

HUDSON: “You have all these nametags to choose between from when Sabos had different identities. You can pick one of those.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, but none of them are good.” (laughs)

LAURA: “Oh no. do not use Sabos’s fake ID cards. I can get us much better ones.”

HUDSON: “You got it.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, see, as a bounty hunter reputation is kind of a big thing, so if I just change my name I kind of lose all of that.”

LAURA: “Oh, well yeah, you would have to stop being a bounty hunter. Just become a smuggler or something.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, but I’m really good at that.”

HUDSON: “What if I am a male Gigoran model named Ricky Smooth, and that’s my new identity?”

CAMERON: (grinning) “I support you, Tink, whatever you want.”

LAURA: “I mean, I’m not sure there is a huge market for Gigoran models, but…”

HUDSON: “That’s the thing. It would blend in so seamlessly because it’s kind of rare.”

LAURA: “No. No, you want the opposite. You want generic so that no one notices you, so you can just walk away and no one has to remember your name or anything like that.”

HUDSON: “But, I thought I was unforgettable… but you know, only when I’m having a really good hair day.”

CAMERON: “I mean, you will have, probably, if we were trying to disappear you probably would have a more difficult time than Xianna or I because you are a Gigoran and there tend to be a lot more Nautolans and Twi’leks wandering around the galaxy in general.”

HUDSON: “True.”

LAURA: “We can dye your hair. Pretend you are a Wookie.”

HUDSON: “I can’t do the noise.”

CAMERON: (snickers)

NICK: (laughs)

HUDSON: “I can’t speak their language.”

CAMERON: (laughs) “Oh. You don’t speak Wookie? Okay.”

HUDSON: “Yeah. Either one.”

CAMERON: “I know it sounds like a noise, but they are actually words. It is a language. It’s not just noises.”

HUDSON: “It’s all noise to me.”

CAMERON: “Oh, okay—“

HUDSON: “But I understand that it’s there language. It’s like (slobbery growling noises).”

LAURA: “Is Gigoran really dissimilar from Shyriiwook? I would assume they are similar.”

HUDSON: “Okay. Just because it sounds similar, I don’t really appreciate the fact that you’re kind of grouping us together there. They’re very, very different cultures.”

LAURA: “I mean…”

CAMERON: “How does Gigoran sound, actually? I have no idea. You always wear the translator.”

HUDSON: ‘It’s kind of become a part of me now, so I don’t know if I can take it off.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Well, I mean, you can, I have seen you do it.”

HUDSON: ‘Yeah, but only when I really- I don’t like how Gigorans sound. I’m a little ashamed of my people.”


HUDSON: “I kind of wish I wasn’t Gigoran sometimes.”

CAMERON: “Well, why?”

HUDSON: “Because no one understands me, and I’m just a big, hairy mess.”

LAURA: “I mean, yes, but…”

CAMERON: “You’re a mess right now, but you also just escaped an exploding herdship. So like… We all need showers at this point, but-“

HUDSON: “We do.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. I’m gonna be finishing my noodles first, but that’s high on my priority list at the moment, is a shower.”

HUDSON: “Yeah. I guess my self-esteem is just kind of low.”

CAMERON: “Okay. So, I know you were super drunk when we went to the casino and were playing Sabacc with Kettle, but do you remember how impressed she was with your slicing skills?”

HUDSON: “I guess that was kind of impressive, but I kind of thought there were some people after me at the time so I was real focused on that.”

CAMERON: “Okay. well yeah, so she was very impressed and said you did a fantastic job on the security cylinder, so you have a lot to be proud of. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re pretty great.”

HUDSON: “Aw, thanks. I think a good shower would wash some of this shame away for me.”

LAURA: “Do you think some drugs would help?”


LAURA: “I have some glitterstim if you want that.”

CAMERON: “Ooh. No…”

HUDSON: “You know…? I don’t know. I’m really not into that kind of treatment, but thank you.”

LAURA: “Okie. More for me.”

HUDSON: “More for you.”

LAURA: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “Back to an earlier conversation topic… Tink, do you have any emergency contact people?”

HUDSON: “Oh man. I would just make up numbers when I’d fill out those forms.”

LAURA: “I thought you had loving parents who live on Mandalor.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. We’re not filling out forms right now. This is for if something happens to you and Xianna and I need to get in touch with your friends or family, anyone for you to tell us, so we’re not dealing with… the awkwardness of not really knowing for Sabos.”

LAURA: “Because I actually like you, so if you were to die I would probably care.”

HUDSON: “Aw. Thanks. Actually, yeah, I have my folks’ contact info. I’ll leave it out with you guys.”

CAMERON: “Cool. Just ping it to us just so that we have it, and we’ll save it as like Tink’s Parents.”

HUDSON: “Okay. Just, I mean…”

LAURA: “They are still on Mandalor, right?”

HUDSON: “yeah, they are.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: So, you all kind of disperse—

CAMERON: Shower.

NICK: –to the refreshers, get cleaned off, get patched together. Xianna takes a shower. Her Band-Aids fall off and she needs to put new ones on. While everyone’s cleaning up… What happens next?

CAMERON: Okay. Karma finishes her shower, doesn’t put her armor back on, just like leaves on… I guess her armor pants and her tank top that she was wearing previously, and goes into the cockpit and sits in the co-pilot seat again. She takes out her data pad and starts flipping through…


CAMERON: (laughs) Yeah. She logs into her HuntersOnly account which she doesn’t do very frequently, and opens up her friends list and starts scrolling through and stopping on people occasionally who have died on past missions with her.

NICK: Okay. So like, what are some of those?

CAMERON: The first one she stops on is a blue Duros male. The name is Arisi Starkos. She thinks back to the bar fight that he got in where he got shot and she had to leave him there. That was kind of sad. The next one is a Rodian female named Kayda Bayonate, and her mark had exotic pets. Karma wasn’t on that one, but still a friend who died. The next one’s a male Falleen, Hestramiel, who was chasing a bounty and fell into a chasm because there were no handrails on the catwalk, because that’s how you die in Star Wars.

(very quiet giggling)

The last one she stops at is Braun Brecht, the Davronian female, who got food poisoning.

NICK: So, is Karma sad about this? Nostalgic? What does looking through these dead compatriots do for her?

CAMERON: Combo of the sad and nostalgic?

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: A lot of them happened a long time ago back when she was first bounty hunting before she started taking Jet and Juke out with her, because she started taking less dangerous bounties once the boys started going with her, so that there was less of a chance of something happening to them.

She wasn’t super close with Sabos but she was starting to like him, and kind of get over some of the initial issues they had with him not actually being the person who was supposed to be on the mission, and some of his weird personality traits, and is genuinely sad? That they couldn’t save him. She’s feeling slightly more depressed now that Tink brought up that we don’t have any emergency contact information, so we can’t even let people know besides just going to Osaron, if we know where that is even, and just going to the town square and announcing that Sabos is dead.

So, she starts thinking about the emergency contacts and then flips over and starts looking at Jet and Juke’s Facebook pages.

NICK: Okay. What kind of statuses do you think they may have going on?

CAMERON: (laughs) Like status updates?

NICK: Yeah.


CAMERON: Uh… Juke probably has a lot of selfies of him flexing, like drinking protein shakes.

NICK: ‘You mean THIS situation?’

CAMERON: Yeah. There’s probably a fair number of selfies that he’s taken of him and Jet where he’s got Jet in a headlock, but they’re both smiling and laughing, and it’s cute. Then Jet’s is mostly like, not pictures of them but pictures of new technologies he’s been working on, and short videos of upgrading shock gloves and stuff, and there’s videos of Juke punching something and it just shoots across the room. It’s a lot of technical nerdy stuff.

NICK: Cool. Yeah. One thing you see from their statuses is neither of them have been online in probably three weeks. They went dark. You know they do that for missions sometimes, that’s not a super worrying thing, but you haven’t seen anything from them recently.

CAMERON: Yeah. I go through and I Like all of the posts that I missed, because that’s what moms do when they get on Facebook.


NICK: ‘Mooom!’

LAURA: Every single one is Liked, and then if you can leave comments you leave like a little smiley face or a little heart emoji.

CAMERON: ‘Love you guys~!’

LAURA: Nothing else, just ‘so cute!’ Smiley face! (laughs)

CAMERON: There’s probably a couple on Jet’s, on some of his invention ones, where she leaves an actual comment that gets technical and is asking about a specific function of this technology.

HUDSON: And ends it with ‘my boy is so smart!’

CAMERON: (giggles) ‘You’re so smart!’

LAURA: ‘I love my boys!’

NICK: heart, heart, kissy face.

CAMERON: yeah.

LAURA: Smooches!

NICK: There’s definitely one picture of Juke in a bar wearing a different outfit than you’re used to seeing, and he’s really close in the physical space of a Falleen woman, and Karma puts a comment like: ‘Hey, who’s that?!’

CAMERON: (grinning) Mm-hmm. Yup. Just all of the mom Facebookings.

NICK: Yup. Is there anything else you wanted to take care of?

CAMERON: And then Karma’s going to call them.

NICK: Ohh.

CAMERON: HuntersOnly didn’t remind her, but she got on it, as she was going through notifications and stuff it says that the twins’ birthday is today.

NICK: Ooh.

CAMERON: And like, she knew that, but a lot of stuff has happened and it kind of slipped her mind, so she’s gonna call them.

NICK: Okay. So, you com their ship?

CAMERON: Yeah. I just com the Gemini, probably from the Afternoon Delight.

NICK: Yeah. Well, you have to use ship-to-ship communication.

CAMERON: Yup, because that’s how that works.

NICK: If you’re sitting in the middle of space you can’t just use your cellphone.


NICK: Star Wars, the 70s.

LAURA: Star Wars tech!

CAMERON: I just do voice, though. I don’t do a holo.

NICK: Okay. The com rings for a while, and they don’t answer, and you get a voicemail.

(begin segment recorded by others)

{JET}: Hello! You’ve reached the Nailo Brothers, Bounty Hunters Extraordinaire. If you’d like to leave a message, please press 1—

{JUKE}: Hey. Hey! Are you recording the new message? … Hey, you said I could be in this one.

{JET}: Juke, we’re trying to get this done professionally, so I thought—

{JUKE}: No, but… but mom said you have to let me be part of the marketing.

{JET}: Look, how about you just keep punching the heavy bag? … Okay. Fine, Juke. Come over here.

{JUKE}: Oh—Okay… Tell me when to start.

{JET}: No. It started already.


(end recorded segment)

CAMERON: Alright, so it beeps and she goes, “Oh, hey boys! (giggling) Wow, that was a very professional voicemail message. (laughs) Um… Y’all sound so adult. Happy birthday! It looks like y’all are real busy right now, but hopefully you have a chance to listen to this soon so I’m not late. I’m very proud of all y’all have accomplished in the past year. Y’all are taking over all of my old stomping grounds. That’s pretty cool.

Um… Here’s an update on my life, I guess. I got recruited for a job. I’m not really sure why yet. It’s kind of a huge mess. The crew I’m working with is… interesting, and smaller than we were this morning. It’s been a rough day already. You know, just helplessly watching people die. I really hope y’all don’t have to experience that. Anyway! There’s a brilliant slicer that you’d love, Jet, and there’s a smuggler who you’d find… interesting? Juke. Actually, come to think of it, I think I’d rather y’all didn’t meet. Anyway. Keep each other safe, boys, and I love you. Bye.”

NICK: Beep! Let’s cut over to Tink and Xianna. What are you two up to?

LAURA: Okay. Xianna is sitting on the floor in front of the costume closet, as we have now dubbed it, and I’m sure Tink’s there and has put Sabos’s extra unworn shirts on a shelf in there, but Xianna is on the floor with a pile of shoes around her and she’s looking at all of them and holding them up to a boot that is half smooshed and demolished and has a hole in the front and is all sorts of bloodied up. She’s like comparing shoes from the closet to the old boot to see if any of them are the same size or how similar they are, because she needs new shoes. (laughs)

NICK: That boot at one point on the third comparison, a drop of blood drips off of it. It’s soaked.


LAURA: Yeah.

HUDSON: I walk over and I say, “Oh. Are you comparing shoes to see which is superior to other shoes?”

LAURA: “I mean… I’m just looking for a new pair of shoes, seeing which ones will fit me, which ones are similar to my old shoes, because as you can see my old boot will no longer work.”

HUDSON: “I mean, it would work—Well, not really, I guess.”

LAURA: “Yeah.”

HUDSON: “Well… Good luck with that!”

LAURA: “Thank you?”

HUDSON: “So on a scale of like Sniffle to Sob, how sad are you that Sabos is gone?”

LAURA: “Uh, none?”

HUDSON: “Don’t you have a heart…?”

LAURA: “I mean, I guess, but like I knew him for like a week? That is not really enough time to… care.”

HUDSON: “We’ve had some adventures together, though. It’s been a very action-packed week.”

LAURA: “It has been a week.”

HUDSON: “Time is just a construct.”

LAURA: “I mean, but is it though?”

HUDSON: “Gah. My head hurts now.”

LAURA: “I mean, I really do not have the energy to care for someone who I’ve only known a week who I did not really even like that much to begin with.”

HUDSON: “But… but… all the fun times together…”

LAURA: “Yeah… SO you see, I do not even remember my father, I was three years old when he was taken and captured and enslaved, never saw him again. When I was 15 my sister and I hid in the cabinets at our house as stormtroopers busted into the kitchen and took my mother away, never saw her again. Most of the other people I knew growing up on Ryloth were at some point killed, enslaved, or arrested. So, sorry if I do not have the energy to care for someone I knew for a week and a half.”

HUDSON: “I mean, this was different though, because he was blown to bits, not taken or arrested or none of those things.”

LAURA: “I mean, yeah, he was pretty much blown to bits, but I don’t think you understand. I grew up seeing people shot in the streets in front of me as a child. You kind of get used to that after a certain point, so one Togruta that I did not like dies… Eh.”

HUDSON: “I still believe there’s a heart in there.”

LAURA: “I mean, technically yes. There is one, but I only have so much time and emotional capacity, so I’m just going to drink and find a new pair of boots.”

HUDSON: “Let’s see if we can just, you know, increase that emotional capacity just a little by little over time.”

LAURA: “No…”

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: “What does your medical textbook say about increasing emotional capacity?”

HUDSON: “Well, so they actually want you to buy this other book called Becoming Emotions for the emotional track of the medicine, so like that’s a whole other thing I need to save up money for, but the sneak preview kind of says that emotions are just a construct and that’s all it says. That’s how I had that line from earlier.”

CAMERON: (laughs) “Great.”

LAURA: “Got it… Oh, so yeah, while we are speaking on emergency contacts, I do have a sister, somewhere on Ryloth, I think. I don’t really talk directly to her. I have a family friend that I send money to to give to her, but I do not actually speak to her. So I guess you would want to contact Jerr. He will then contact my sister, wherever she is.”

HUDSON: “Cher?”

LAURA: “Jerr.”

HUDSON: “Chair?”

LAURA: “Jerr, with a J. J-E-R-R.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Jeer.”

LAURA: “… Jerr.

HUDSON: “Jerr.”

LAURA: “Yeah!”


LAURA: “That is close enough. Yes.”

HUDSON: “Alright. I can contact that person.”

NICK: Tink’s translator is like smoking a little bit.



NICK: Okay. Around this point the camera zooms in to the cockpit of the Afternoon Delight and onto a little vid screen that’s embedded in the dashboard, and you get a com with no video. It says Incoming Message, and you hear: “This is Sentinel. You’ve done… better than I hoped. It’s time for us to meet in person. I’m sending you the coordinates now.”

CAMERON: As soon as I saw it I flipped the full coms on so that everyone on the ship heard it.

NICK: Yeah. That voice rattles through the ship, and that’s where we’re gonna end the episode.

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

CAMERON: (hums funeral march)

NICK: (groaning) Aww…

CAMERON: (laughs triumphantly)

NICK: Oh no…

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and give the squad warm fuzzies when we read them.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 13 We Tink This Isn’t Our Fault

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 13:
We Tink This Isn’t Our Fault

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Consider reading Nick’s intro for this episode if you would otherwise skip over it, as it contains an important warning.

Note – When voicing Ithorians, Nick uses an incredibly low, deep, drawn out voice and often pauses in the middle of sentences.

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

We hope you are all enjoying our double release schedule. Remember that the final episode of the flashback starring Karma and the twins will be out next Thursday. After that, we’ll be back to our normal, every other Thursday release. Did you enjoy getting twice the Tabletop Squadron? There’s something you can do to make it happen again.

We’re trying to boost our social media presence and we’d love your help. We’re trying to get 125 Twitter followers for the Tabletop Squadron official account. If you haven’t followed us yet, take a look! If you have, tell your friends! Twitter is a great way to interact with the show, and we’d love to get out there for more people to see. We’ll be crowd sourcing an NPC through the @Tabletop_Squad account. We’ll be asking questions to our followers and doing a Twitter poll every ten new followers as well. If you want to help shape the world of Tabletop Squadron, get over there early and often.

Also, when we hit the goal, we’ll be releasing another Jedi Adventure series, this time starring two brand new characters. They would release on off-weeks so you’ll be back to a double release schedule for the duration of the run. I’ll even throw in a blooper reel that I’ve been collecting since we started recording. So, please swing by the Twitter-sphere and follow us, bring some friends, help us build a new character, and say hi while you’re at it. We love to talk to fans. Thanks!

On a less happy note, this episode gets pretty intense. I wanted to put a warning before we started that this episode deals with loss, civilian death, and intense situations, especially in the second half of the episode. I do say something before it gets to that, but if that doesn’t sound like your cup of caf, then please skip over this one, or make sure you’re in a comfortable and supportive place to listen to it. At the start of the next episode I’ll provide a recap covering major plot points so you don’t have to worry about missing any of the story if you feel that this is not for you. Take care of yourselves, friends.

Additional music this week is Alarm at Eleven by Pandasetimol and Broken by Solar Flare.

With all of that out of the way, we hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 13 of Tabletop Squadron! Lucky number 13 episode. Thanks for being with us today. I’m Nick, your host and game master. We’re gonna go around the table. Everybody say who you are and who you’re playing today, starting with Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson Jameson, and I’m playing Tink the Gigoran slicer.

NICK: Great. Glad to have you, Hudson. Moving on to Laura.

LAURA: Hi. I’m Laura. Are we doing last names? I don’t wanna do last names. I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler who might be down a few toes. We’ll see.

NICK: (laughs) She’s definitely down a toe. Next up we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I am Cameron, and I am playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter who has all of her toes.

NICK: Very important fact. We will now be keeping toes as a stat, so prepare for that. I printed out your toe tracking sheet. Make sure you guys have that nearby. Last but not least, we’ve got Steven.



STEVEN: I’m Steven.

NICK: Yes you are.

STEVEN: I’m playing Sabos Niks the Togruta fringer, but I misunderstood the toe tracking sheet and just marked my head tails.

NICK: You know what, it’s close enough.

STEVEN: They’re all still there, even the fourth one.

NICK: Good to know. Thank you. Goodness… So, let’s go ahead and get started with the Destiny Roll!

LAURA: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side.

STEVEN: One dark side.

CAMERON: I also got one dark side.


LAURA: Huh, so it’s the same as last time.

CAMERON: It was two light sides for a second, and then it hit a wall, and ran away…

HUDSON: I’m your savior. …

CAMERON: Thanks Hudson. You’re my hero.

HUDSON: (laughs) That sounded a little culty. I’m very scared.

NICK: (laughs) Yeah. I don’t know how to respond to that.

STEVEN: Are you?

LAURA: I think the Cult of Tink will be … very weird.

CAMERON: Anyway. Our total is three dark side, two light side.

NICK: Wonderful. When we last left off a few things had happened. We’ve got Karma sitting in low orbit waiting to help everyone escape the super star destroyer, Vengeance, we’ve got Tink wreaking havoc through the computer systems at the same super star destroyer… Wow. That’s a lot of S’s.

CAMERON: And also reeking. … He smells bad.

NICK: Oh! Yes.

CAMERON: I was making a word joke.

NICK: That was a good word joke.

CAMERON: Thank you. (laughs)

NICK: Yes, also covered in his own pee, this is of course the most important part of the story and must be noted at all turns. Sabos had recently gotten into a fight with some stormtroopers and a deck captain, along with Xianna, who nearly avoided being jettisoned into the icy, deadly grip of space and may or may not have had a toe crushed off in an airlock. Is that about right?


NICK: Cool. Am I missing anything?


CAMERON: Just mechanically how we’re dealing with toe loss.

NICK: Oh. Right. So, with the toe loss, we have decided to apply a crit to Xianna that she’s gonna have to deal with until she sees some medical attention. We picked “Agonizing Wound.” Laura, what does that do?

LAURA: It increases the difficulty of any Brawn and Agility checks.

NICK: Okay. Well, we’ll have to deal with that, won’t we?


NICK: So, we start with a quick pan over the Afternoon Delight sitting just below cloud cover above the planet of Ithor. A quick zoom through one of the portholes shows Felton Mox, the slightly portly Selonian male, basically just leaping around and jazz running through the ship. He says, ‘I’ve never felt so alive!”

The camera pans up through the front corridor of the ship into the captain’s chair where Karma is leaning up and looking through the windscreen of the ship, looking up, and in the distance right past the edge of the atmosphere we can see a battle group of star destroyers. There are four regular sized star destroyers, and they’re all pointed almost in confusion at the super star destroyer Vengeance, which is spinning on multiple axes right now and has different flickering lights, and just looks to be in distress.

We zoom in through one of the airlocks to find Xianna and Sabos standing in a hallway.

LAURA: Xianna is on the floor, foot bleeding out of the hole in her boot, and she just goes, “Sabos, get over here…”

STEVEN: “Are… Are you okay?”

LAURA: “Hand me your binders. I will be fine. Do not worry about me.”

STEVEN: I offer my bound hands.

LAURA: Would that be a Skulduggery?

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay. what would be the difficulty for the binders?

NICK: To pop them off without anybody looking, without having to look sneaky or anything, easy, not hard.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

NICK: You could open normal handcuffs with like, well wishes, so.

LAURA: Yeah, that’s like six successes. (laughs)

NICK: Alright. We’re gonna skip the next roll that I think is about to happen and just say you manage to get them both off very easily.


LAURA: Yeah. I take off Sabos’s and… There’s no more bodies in here, are there?


LAURA: I take off Sabos’s, I take off mine, I put both of the binders into my coat so now I have three pairs of binders…

NICK: But two of them aren’t pink and fuzzy.

LAURA: Two of them are not pink and fuzzy. No, they’d be red and fuzzy. I feel like that’d be a little bit more… yeah. Or pink, I don’t know. It’s an in between color.

NICK: Yeah.

STEVEN: Salmon.

CAMERON: Fuchsia.

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna holds a finger up to Sabos. “Okay. Give me a moment. Also, do you have any sort of Band-Aids, tourniquets, anything like that?”

STEVEN: “Nope.”

LAURA: “Okay…” Uh, so first she takes out a stim pack and shoots herself up, which will get rid of the regular wounds but will not take care of the crit.

NICK: Nope.

STEVEN: Do I have my head tails wrapped in something? I forget if I’m depicted with my head tails wrapped in something.

LAURA: No. Karma has a headband, and I have a head… a like…

NICK: A modesty garment.

LAURA: A strappy headgear thing.

CAMERON: It’s like underwear for your head tails.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: Oh, I don’t do that.

NICK: Of course you don’t.

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: So, I shoot myself with the stim pack, toss that because it’s useless now, and then I take a little box out of my pocket, a little baggie, and just kind of put one hand around my nose… and you just hear a (sniff). Then she pauses… “Okay Sabos, help me up. Let’s go, let’s go, come on.” (giggles)

STEVEN: yeah. I go help her up, and go towards the trash chute?

NICK: Okay.

LAURA: “Wait. Why do we need to go to the trash chute? There are no bodies, Sabos.”

STEVEN: “I thought this was our escape route.”

LAURA: “No. we were going to hide the bodies.”

STEVEN: ‘Oh. I thought it was for us.”

LAURA: “No. we were hiding the bodies. Okay, hold on, Tink. Tink, where are you?”

HUDSON: “I’m still in the technicians room.”

LAURA: “Okay. how do we get there?”

HUDSON: “Alright, so… Where are you now?”

LAURA: “Come on. Speak faster. You know where we are.”

HUDSON: “Uh… Oh yeah, where the airlock just happened. Alright.”

STEVEN: You know—

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: “Yeah, that’s fixed now. Go, um, down the hall… Actually, you know what, oh it’s color coated. Follow the white line.”

LAURA: “Okay. we follow the white line! Sabos, we go.”

NICK: You get a quick shot of Sabos walking quickly down the hall and Xianna just flat sprinting down the hall. She stops at the door and turns around and starts vibrating in place for a second. We get a wipe over to Tink. Are you doing anything before they get there or are you waiting on them?

HUDSON: I look and see if anything else is happening to the computer Rancore Protocol wise.

NICK: The only thing that it’s doing is what you saw last time. All of the airlocks have stopped blinking, so it’s not doing any overlay there, but you keep getting that pop-up about the biological threat detected, and then the central ventilation shaft blinking, and it just keeps going back and forth between those.

HUDSON: I kind of just talk to myself. “Ah, this goes there…” and point from the box to the screen.

NICK: (laughs)

HUDSON: I might need some help with this. I think I’m gonna wait up.

LAURA: Are you on the coms?

HUDSON: No, but I do say, “Hey guys, I got a thing…” I wasn’t on the coms, I should say. Now I’m on the coms. “Guys, we have one more thing to do before we can get out of here. We gotta deliver a package.”

CAMERON: Did you call just Xianna, or did you call both of us?

HUDSON: I put it on both.

LAURA: “Oh yes, the thing in the little box. We’re going to let it loose. Yes, I know this.”

HUDSON: ‘Yes, but there’s a specific spot, so we’re gonna have to travel there.”

LAURA: “Oh. Okay, yeah, we can do that.”

CAMERON: “Uh, how are you all doing up there? It’s kind of, um, spinning, concerningly.”

LAURA: “Surprisingly, I feel fine!”

CAMERON: “Good?”

HUDSON: “I could, I’m a little thirsty, but otherwise I’m good.”

CAMERON: “Alright. Great!”

LAURA: “I think Sabos is fine. Sabos, did you get shot? I don’t really remember.”

STEVEN: You hear Sabos from the distance. “… No.”

LAURA: “Okay, yes, Sabos is fine.”

HUDSON: “Oh! You know what else? When I was getting to the technicians room I did have to cut through a kitchen and there was this rancid oil I slipped in…”

STEVEN: (bursts laughing)

HUDSON: “…so that was a deal. I’m okay, didn’t sprain any ankles or nothing, but it’s just not the best smell and I kinda mopped it up… like a mop.”

LAURA: “Yes. You are full of hair, so I could see how you would soak up like a sponge. Yes. You are just like a giant sponge.”

STEVEN: “Hold on. What did he soak up?” I hear Xianna talk about soaking.

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Yeah. I think he said he soaked up some sort of rancid oil? So he smells? I do not understand.”

CAMERON: “Okay. when you get back on the ship, just go straight to your room and just take a shower.”

HUDSON: “Oh, no, yeah, definitely the first thing I’m gonna do.”

CAMERON: “We do not want rancid oil on the ship.”

LAURA: “We are going to need medical attention. I think I have lost some toes.”

CAMERON: “Oh—But you feel fine?”

LAURA: “… Oh, yes! (laughs)”

CAMERON: “Oh, you feel fine, okay. yes, got it.”

LAURA: “I feel fine. I mean, I will feel terrible later, but we can get to that when we get to that.”

CAMERON: “Okay… Well, be careful. All of the other star destroyers are pointed at you now, so just know that.”

LAURA: “Oh, I figured. (laughs) Many of the airlocks opened up.”

CAMERON: “And maybe go quickly.”

LAURA: “That is what I am doing. Sabos!”

STEVEN: “She got sucked out of an airlock!” I just say, as I’m catching up.

LAURA: “Oh yes. I think I lost the toes because they got crushed in the airlock that Tink opened up.”

STEVEN: “Oh. Tink did it.”

LAURA: “Tink did it. Yes!”

NICK: At this point, you both make it to the technology room. The door swings open, or swooshes open because it’s Star Wars, and you walk inside. First you are hit with a powerful, sulfurous, decay kind of smell.

STEVEN: Ammonia perhaps?

NICK: Uh, yeah, a little ammonia thrown in there.

STEVEN: Weird.

NICK: Yeah. The camera is set over Tink’s shoulder, and you can see his face highlighted in the glow of the holo-screens, and then you see the door swoosh open and Xianna and Sabos walk in right as Xianna is saying ‘oh, this was definitely Tink’s fault.’

LAURA: ‘Yes. Tink, it was your fault.”

STEVEN: “Whoa.”

LAURA: “Is there a bottle around…? Did you PEE yourself?”

HUDSON: “No! I told you. I cut through a kitchen and slipped in some rancid oil.”

LAURA: “Why is it yellow? And on the floor, here?”

STEVEN: “Under you.”

HUDSON: “I don’t know anything about oil, so I cannot answer that for you.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “Okay. we are just going to pretend that this is not happening.”

STEVEN: “Why is it just your bottom half?”

LAURA: “We are going to pretend that this is not happening! We have more important things.”

HUDSON: “I fell on my rear—We don’t have time for this!”

STEVEN: “But it’s your front!”

LAURA: “Sabos- Just- We all know what is happening, and we are just not going to talk about it. Tink, where do we need to go?”


HUDSON: “Alright. We gotta follow the red line to the blue line, then cross over to the green line.”

LAURA: “Okay. Red, then blue, then green?”

STEVEN: “Red to blue, cross over at green.”

HUDSON: “Wait a second, there might be a faster way. Keep following the white line to second door, and then cross over to blue and green, but you have to have a train ticket? I don’t-“ Actually, there’s a green line- I know the way!” I just start going.


LAURA: Okay. we follow Tink.

NICK: Alright. As you go, we are gonna have a quick montage of you all running through a ship that is obviously in a crisis. It’s not sinking or exploding, but there are definitely different stormtroopers and technician crews running around trying to fix things, so I want a very quick scene from each of you for the montage of one thing that you run into on the way and how you get around it.

HUDSON: Alright. I run into a turnstile, I don’t know, maybe they want to just count the number going in and out of that particular line, but I use the credentials that I took earlier for the technician and I kinda look around to see no one’s looking, and scan it and pass it back, (laughter) and then scan it again. There’s probably a max number of times that can happen, but luckily we’re under that amount.

LAURA: Oh. I bet it’s one of those rotating doors that you have to slide and it only does one circulation, and we have to throw it through a little gap at the top.

HUDSON: Yeah, exactly. So, turnstile or rotating door. I think they’re similar.

NICK: Yeah. That’s- Woof. Okay. what else you guys got?

LAURA: We definitely run into a protocol droid, and we probably just distract it by throwing trash on the floor. It’s a protocol droid. They’re not hard to get around. (laughs)

NICK: “Oh! Intruders! What are you—Oh, who left this trash on the floor, more importantly?” They can’t ben dover all the way, so you see it trying to adjust its weight and bend down and it can’t pull it off, and it’s just trying to bend over and almost falling over going “Whoooa…”

LAURA: It’s like throwing bird seed on the ground for a vampire. (laughs) Just distracting them.

NICK: And, canon!

STEVEN: “We encounter a diplomat dude that I owed money, but I actually paid, but I’m getting close to my bill this time. He’s like ‘What are you doing here?’ I’m like, ‘Oh yeah, I’ve got some people to pay up. I’ll be right back I’ll- Yeah, I gotta pay someone else first. See ya!”

NICK: (laughing) Time out. Describe this guy. What kind of diplomat would you owe money to? Is he an Imperial guy?

STEVEN: Yeah. He’s an Imperial guy. You know, just another dude that might’ve helped out on the colony.

LAURA: Does he have mutton chops?

STEVEN: No, this isn’t that dude. This is a dude that doesn’t hate me yet, because so far I’ve paid.

NICK: Oh, okay. we’ll say he’s a tall, buff guy with a completely shaved head that’s really shiny, and he’s got white eyebrows. He looks really friendly, but he’s wearing a tight Imperial uniform.

STEVEN: Yeah, a tight, white Imperial uniform.

LAURA: Does he have a tight white shirt and one earing?

NICK: (fighting a laugh) Maybe.


LAURA: Okay. Great.

STEVEN: Is he also offended by the trash that the protocol droid was trying to pick up?

NICK: He didn’t see it. This is further on.

LAURA: His name is…

STEVEN: Mister…

LAURA: Captain…

STEVEN: Captain…

LAURA: Cleon.


NICK: Captain Cleon. Yes. Imperial Emissary. Yeah, so you move on, and you come to a very large central shaft that seems to go through the middle of the ship. It has a lot of turbines in the middle that go up the middle, they’re really big, and none of them are moving very quickly. Probably Sabos and Tink would know that these kinds of systems spin really, really fast. Xianna might know from having tried to use them to infiltrate before. They are just like blenders, but these are moving very slowly or are turned off. There are hundreds of ventilation shafts as far down and up as you can see that branch off of this, and there’s a glowing reactor core looking thing in the middle, and there is a little panel that says in Aurebesh “Main Ventilation Shaft.”

LAURA: “Okay. do we need to get into the shaft and then release them, or can we just throw them in?”

HUDSON: “We can just throw them in, as far as I’m concerned.”

STEVEN: “Oh boy.”

LAURA: What does his screen actually show?

NICK: The screen was just blinking on the ventilation shaft. I should clarify. You guys are at the shaft. It does one of those Star Wars things where the door opens and then there’s just a deadly OSHA terrifying drop-off into the abyss. You are there. There’s little gantries and walkways and ladders and stuff that go around on the edges. It looks climbable, but you are there, you are ready to go.

LAURA: Okie.

NICK: Oh. When you left, you took the Rancore Protocol with you, right?


NICK: Okay. Just checking. That would be bad.

HUDSON: Sorry. I took the Rancore Protocol with me. So, I hand the box to Sabos…

STEVEN: I accept the box from Tink.

HUDSON: …and I pretty much say, “Alright, here’s what you gotta do. You’re gonna open the box, and then you’re gonna drop it into the shaft.”

STEVEN: I look at Xianna to confirm the instructions, because-

LAURA: “I’m still not sure if we just throw it in or if we have to climb into the shaft, but if you do open it and then throw it, open it right before you throw it just in case it wants to eat you too. I do not know exactly what’s inside the box.”

STEVEN: “Okay… Sure.”

LAURA: “Basically none of us know.”

HUDSON: “Alright. Whenever you’re ready.” I turn around to dash, not sure what’s actually gonna happen, I just know I don’t wanna be the one to open it.


STEVEN: Darn. Opposable head tails would be really cool, really convenient at this point. I reach into the shaft with both hands holding the box, turn the box upside down, as far into the shaft as I can go without falling into the shaft… remove the lid, drop the box, and run.


NICK: Oh boy.

LAURA: Xianna’s hiding behind Tink. Sorry, I’m probably getting blood on you.

HUDSON: It’s okay.

CAMERON: It’s okay. He’s getting pee on you.

NICK: Okay. Who is visually able to see the box when he opens it?


LAURA: Probably all—Well, I’m probably behind Tink, but doing the little, like, peeking around him.

STEVEN: I’m not looking at the box.

NICK: Okay. you’re not looking?


HUDSON: I can see from above the things that fall out.

NICK: Right. Okay. You open the box. It has two tab inserts that are kind of hooked so you have to kind of prop it open. When you open it, nothing falls out. As you throw the box down, there’s a white blur, and you hear a (hissing noise). Down by your feet you see, it’s about a foot long, like it had to compress a little to fit into this box, it looks kind of like a rat but all white with a naked tail kind of covered in boils… and I would like a Xenology check from everybody who’s looking at it.

LAURA: Okie~

STEVEN: Do I see it now because it’s by my feet?

NICK: Yeah.


NICK: Oh, also, you dropped the box so the box is tumbling down.

LAURA: Is there a difficulty?

NICK: This one’s gonna be average. Depending on your successes you might get more information.

LAURA: Nope.

STEVEN: I got two successes and fall prone.

NICK: Did you get three threats?

STEVEN: I did. (laughs)

NICK: Oh god, you’re right by the edge dude. You fall prone… (dramatic base noise) …in your fear of this rat-like creature, and scramble backwards.

HUDSON: Four successes and an advantage.

NICK: Great. So, Xianna you failed, yeah?


NICK: Okay. Sabos and Tink, the first thing you notice is this thing is extremely pregnant. It is like inflated. You can see it’s tummy moving around, and it looks very big. Tink, from looking at it, this is not a naturally occurring creature. This creature looks kind of spliced together. It looks like some sort of weird, weaponized genetic experiment. You don’t wanna touch it. You don’t wanna be near it. This is real, real bad news, and you have a flashback to several different times when someone said ‘do not open this box until the right moment. Do not open the box.’

Sabos scrambles backwards, this thing hisses at you one more time, and then crawls down over the edge and you hear it start to clank under the floor as it walks through an air vent, and that fades as it goes into the ship.

LAURA: Xianna gets on her com. “Uh, Karma, it might be time for you to come back and pick us up.”

CAMERON: “Oookay.”

HUDSON: “Someone’s expecting, and it’s not one of us, and it’s very scary.”

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: “Alright?”

STEVEN: I’m gonna remove my legs from the door now, the door area.

NICK: Okay. You pull your legs back and the door swooshes shut.

CAMERON: “Where are y’all gonna be? Where am I headed? It’s a big ship.”

LAURA: “Um… Yes. Let’s just go back to the main bay that we came in from.”

STEVEN: “Or! Tink could open a near airlock for us.”

CAMERON: “Whoa.”

LAURA: “No. I do not want to be in the icy coldness of space. No thank you. No.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, I think we’re good with the main bay area. Now, that’s creative, and we appreciate it.”

STEVEN: “(huffs) Y’all non-fringer types, you’re just… Y’all are so conservative with your exploration.”

LAURA: “I do not want to suffocate, or get radiation, or any of those things.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

STEVEN: “Suffocation makes you alive.”

HUDSON: “I feel like this is very, very foreboding. I don’t know. Something…”

NICK: This conversation is happening as you’re jogging down the hallway back.

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: You see some stormtroopers running around. None of them really pay you much attention. They all seem to be going places.

STEVEN: I say, “Rats went that way!”

NICK: One guy goes, “Huh?!” and then someone else says, “It’s time to go! Let’s go! We have orders!” and they run off down the hallway in a different direction. Then, we get a shot of Karma—Are you letting Felton help pilot?

CAMERON: Yes. Felton and I are both flying up, because my approach plan is if I get hailed, this time we’re pretending to be whoever the hell’s cylinder we have that we created that I do not remember.

NICK: Alright. George Jetson?

CAMERON: Was his name George Jetson?

NICK: It was George Jetson.

LAURA: Yeah.


NICK: That was Hudson’s fault.

HUDSON: That was my fault.

NICK: That was good.

CAMERON: So, I have him in the cockpit with me because I’m going to need him to talk.

NICK: Mm-hmm. … Oh man.

CAMERON: Yeah. We’re gonna need him to talk, because George typically in the Star Wars universe…

NICK: You sure you don’t- You don’t wanna try to talk to the guy so I- Okay, it’s fine. I’ll roleplay with myself. I don’t need y’all.

CAMERON: You can talk with yourself. (laughs) We can also do this. I can coach him on what to say, and then we can just bypass him actually saying it if you don’t want to talk to yourself.

NICK: It’s fine. He won’t have to say much. As you take off you manage to get surprisingly close to the ship before you’re hailed. Someone calls and says, “This is the ISS Vengeance. We’re pretty busy right now. Unidentified ship, identify yourself immediately or be blasted out of the sky.”

CAMERON: So, what Felton is saying is he’s noticed that the ship is in distress and he is Special Agent George Jetson, and he has been commed to come assist with the situation.

NICK: Right. Okay. Felton says, “Hey, yeah, we’re coming to help. We can see you’re in distress. We’re a specialized rescue crew coming your way, so keep that main door open, please.”

The com guy says, “I don’t know who would’ve sent that communication, because that’s me, and I definitely didn’t do that.”

“Well, I mean, it was one of your people…”

CAMERON: (whispered) “One of the other ships! One of the other ships! They noticed the distress!”

NICK: “Oh yeah. It was the ISS… that one over there. That one did it. Uh, but yeah, we’re coming in quick trying to bail you out. Looks like some electrical trouble, just simple electricians from Ithor. Yup.” He hangs up, and you don’t get fired upon.

CAMERON: Great. (giggles)

NICK: We get a great shot of zoomed out in that landing bay, and the ship swings around to land. Just a reminder, the ship kind of looks like the letter W. it has a main thing with the bridge on it with two basically big cargo containers stuck to the sides, so it looks pretty cool. It swings into a landing, and the thing opens just as Sabos, Xianna and Tink make it to the main landing area.

LAURA: “Okie. Let’s sneak across to the ship.”

STEVEN: “(sighs) Yeah.”

CAMERON: We open the entry ramp on the Afternoon Delight. Karma has put her cloak back on. (laughs)

NICK: Ooh.

CAMERON: And is walking down the steps, and has her blaster ready underneath her cloak.

NICK: Okay. Are you all sneaking?

LAURA: Xianna is probably going to hide behind another ship and sneak across and up to the Afternoon Delight.

NICK: So, this is that scene from A New Hope where you’re running low through the open space port trying to get back to your ship while a decent amount of stormtroopers are around, there’s people in formation, there’s technicians plugged into various wall sockets trying to do things. Everybody give me a Stealth check.

STEVEN: Before you do, I ask to borrow Xianna’s binders, because I’m not stealthy at all.

LAURA: “Okay… Fuzzy or not fuzzy?”


STEVEN: “Imperial, please.”

LAURA: “Oh! Okay. Imperial.” I toss him one pair.

STEVEN: I put the binders on me, and I just try to walk as if I’m a prisoner.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. You can roll me a Deception.

STEVEN: Yeah, let’s do that. I was really hoping the cloak might convince it.

NICK: Well, when you’re close to them it might, but you’re gonna have to make it there.

STEVEN: Yeah. That’s gonna be fine.

NICK: Everybody give me those checks.

LAURA: What’s the difficulty of the Stealth check?

NICK: Average. They are all very distracted.

LAURA: And then it’s increased difficulty… Okay.

STEVEN: Hey, I get a success and a threat.

CAMERON: No, just a success.

STEVEN: I get a success. Am I deceiving?

NICK: With a success? Yeah. You get close enough to the cloak before anyone really pays any attention to you. They assume you’re some sort of prisoner thing. Like I said, they’re pretty distracted, and since you didn’t make it to the threat threshold I had for something really bad happening, you don’t have to deal with that.


NICK: So, you’re able to get onto the ship. After Xianna and Tink saw him manage to just straight walk across, what did you guys get trying to stealth?

LAURA: I got one advantage.

NICK: Ooh. Okay.

HUDSON: I have a disadvantage, a success and a triumph.

NICK: (exasperated) What the hell, what the fuck… Why are you Cam rolling? (laughs) This makes life so hard.

LAURA: Yeah…

HUDSON: Right?

NICK: Okay! Here’s what we’re gonna do. A lot of stuff happens at once. Xianna starts to go out and immediately her leg starts to give under her. We get a shot of a stormtrooper walking by, and he stops marching and looks down, and there’s like a pool of blood behind the crate that Xianna was standing behind. He goes, “Interesting,” and he turns and starts following it, and there’s just drops of blood every couple of feet. He looks up and sees Xianna just straight booking it towards the ship, but limping. “Hey! Someone seems to be trying to escape that I don’t recognize!”

Tink, at that point, chooses to go and shoulder checks the guy out of the way so he’s not able to get a shot and makes it. The threat is that the alarm starts to go off. You make it to the ship just as blaster fire starts to ping through the place, because you can’t flee a star destroyer without getting shot at… and you all fly for open space.

You all get onto the ship. Felton is sitting in the co-pilot seat. “Hey, we gotta go right now. We’re getting shot at. Come on. Everybody in. Everybody in?”

CAMERON: “Everybody in!”

LAURA: “Yes.”

NICK: “Alright. Let’s go.” He closes it and he turns to fly away, and you all notice he’s flying back down towards the planet.

CAMERON: “Why are we going this way?”

NICK: “The blockade is still up. They’re all still here. We will explode. I think, with your help, we can make it down to the planet without getting shot, but whatever you did we gotta wait for that to take effect before we try to get out of here. We’re stuck.”

CAMERON: “Fair!”

STEVEN: “Seems reasonable.”

LAURA: Xianna’s probably not even there for that conversation.

CAMERON: “Tink. Shower. Now.”

STEVEN: I also ask Xianna to unbind me.

LAURA: “Eh… Okie.”

STEVEN: “Yes!”


HUDSON: I take a shower.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: Get all this oil off me.

NICK: (laughs) So, it takes you a while. The flight down doesn’t take too long. Could I get a Piloting check from Karma?


STEVEN: Wait, you’re the pilot now?

CAMERON: Unless you came up to help me, yeah, I’m flying. (laughs)

STEVEN: No, I was bound. I’m just judging.

NICK: You’re standing there rubbing your wrists having recently been freed. ‘Oh, I guess you’re flying. Okay. let’s see how this goes.’


CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Average, but you can upgrade one of your greens to a yellow because Felton is your co-pilot, and he kinda knows how to fly.

CAMERON: Yay. I’m very agile, but… Eh. I can fly. Sure.

STEVEN: That’ll do.

CAMERON: Straight wash!

NICK: You are solidly tracked by the ISS Vengeance. You can see that turrets are following you, and one actually does shoot. The ship is going to take a direct hit by a turbo laser, which is going to potentially cause some pretty intense damage. One of the engines is damaged, not good, but you do make it down below atmosphere where they can’t really see you, and you are able to land.

There is a clock wipe where it goes from right to left on the screen in a circle, and you see Felton walking off the ship. “Well… I don’t know how long what you’re doing is going to take, but I guess we gotta spend the night anyway. I’m beat. That was rough guys. Thanks for… helping. Yeah.”

CAMERON: “You’ve been dancing, all afternoon.”

NICK: “Yeah, exercise, you know. It was nervous dancing. I was supporting you.”

CAMERON: “You should go take a shower as well.”

NICK: “Oh- Okay, fine. But yeah, why don’t you come stay with me at The Gooberfish and we’ll get some drinks, we’ll rest, and we’ll wait for this blockade to break.”

STEVEN: “I feel like we should be ready to go when the blockade breaks.”

NICK: “Well, we don’t even know. It’ll probably be a couple days, at least. Might as well camp out, right?”

HUDSON: I look at him suspiciously.

STEVEN: “Might as well camp out on the ship.”

NICK: You can do a Perception check to see if he’s trying to mess with you.

HUDSON: Yes. Straight, or any difficulty?

NICK: Easy. You know him pretty well at this point. You guys peed together a couple episodes ago.

HUDSON: Two successes, two advantages.

NICK: Yeah. He’s being pretty straight with you. He seems to have gotten a pretty good adrenaline rush, and he’s excited, but otherwise he’s just saying who knows how long this’ll take, let’s go relax for a while.

LAURA: Xianna shouts out from her room. “Can we stop at some sort of medic or doctor first? Please?”

NICK: “Uh, I guess that could happen.”

CAMERON: “So, the only medic I’ve seen has been with the Oracle. We may want to give them an update on the blockade anyway with what y’all did up there.”

LAURA: “I am not really sure what we did.”

HUDSON: “Why do you need to go see a medical person when your shoe is upset? Isn’t that something like a haberdashery, or what’s the place called where there’s like shoe repair…?

LAURA & STEVEN: “A cobbler?”

HUDSON: “A cobbler. Don’t you need to see a cobbler?”

LAURA: “I mean, I will need a new pair of shoes that you will buy, you will also pay for my medical attention, because I am pretty sure I lost at least one toe if not many toes. I have not taken the boot off yet. I really don’t want to look at it. I’m not sure what I could even do for them.”

STEVEN: “You might have to cut the boot off.”

LAURA: “(groans)”

HUDSON: “No, no, no.”

CAMERON: “I don’t think that’s—No. It’s not a nail.”

LAURA: “It does not feel swollen.”

HUDSON: “Yeah, so really, I protected you by getting rid of those troopers, so really I would call this a wash, honestly.”

STEVEN: (laughs) “You wouldn’t wanna take the foot off with it.”

LAURA: “I mean, I was going to shoot them anyways, and also, I think it’s just a few toes. I don’t think I have to lose the whole foot!”

STEVEN: “I’m saying you would have to lose the boot.”


LAURA: “Oh, yeah. I am getting new shoes. That is already discussed. Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Yeah. You might have to cut the boot off instead of trying to pull off extra toes, not like across the leg cut it off, like down the boot cut it off.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, but I don’t understand… Why would pulling her foot out of her shoe cause more toes to—“

STEVEN: “Fall off?”

CAMERON: “Yeah.”

STEVEN: “Toes do that.”

CAMERON: “Uh, not normally.”

LAURA: “No. I do not think toes just fall off.”

CAMERON: “Has that happened to you?”

STEVEN: “Yeah. They regenerate.”

CAMERON: “Well, that’s weird.”

LAURA: “I don’t think that’s true!”

STEVEN: (laughs)

CAMERON: I’m pretty sure that does not happen. (laughs)

HUDSON: Not canon! Not canon alert!

STEVEN: It’s just adrenaline, really. I’m excited.

NICK: At this point, Felton looks down and goes, “Oh hey, it looks like you got hurt. Didn’t really notice that.”

LAURA: “… Yes.”

NICK: “What if—I’ve been here a while—I could get a medic to meet you at the hotel, that way you don’t have to walk all the way to the far side of the city while bleeding, which you’re still doing.”

LAURA: “Yes. I mean, yeah, that would be nice. Thank you.”

NICK: Alright! We’ll smash cut to everyone in The Gooberfish. If you remember from before, it is a dark wood, pretty simple sort of bar setup. There’s an Ithorian behind the bar with a few glasses. You all have drinks of your choice. Xianna has her foot up on one of the round tables. She’s sitting in the booth with everyone else and her foot is like across the aisle onto another table nearby. There is an Ithorian medic, the same one from before, in a teal jumpsuit, working on your foot and she is putting the finishing touches on the bandaging. It’s a pretty big boot-looking thing. We’re gonna leave it open right now about how many toes you may have lost.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: She says, “That… should cover… the damage… for now.”

LAURA: “Okie. Thank you?”

NICK: “Thank you… for attempting… to break the siege. The herdship… is in your debt, even… if you failed.”

LAURA: “So, I mean, do I get any medication for having this? No drugs? You don’t…?”

NICK: “Oh. Of course… I could provide you… with some… Artura leaves.” She just hands you a pile of big, sort of succulent leaves. There’s like three or four of them.

LAURA: Xianna looks at them and kind of reaches over and squints her eyes. “Is this like for pain, or what do these ones do?”

NICK: “You chew the leaves… and they’ll make you feel better.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: “… In the long run.”


LAURA: “Wait…”

NICK: The nurse turns to leave.

STEVEN: I order a round of Flame Outs for everyone, to make you feel better in the short term. (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna just starts… chewing on her leaf.

NICK: It is kind of gooey, and it makes your mouth fall asleep a little bit, but not in a fun impact way.


NICK: It doesn’t help with the pain at all. Maybe it fights infection. Maybe it’s a leaf.

LAURA: yeah… I mean, I’m chewing on the leaf.

NICK: Okay. Anybody wanna do anything else, or are you going up to sleep?

HUDSON: I’d say going to sleep.

LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: I ask for my blaster back.

CAMERON: Oh yeah, sure, here.

STEVEN: Excellent. I take my blaster.

HUDSON: I had my vibro-axe the whole time, I believe…


NICK: Yeah. Weird that the technician never asked about that.

HUDSON: Yeah, exactly. I was thinking like, that would be a weird thing for a technician to carry, but I just won’t mention it and see if they don’t mention it.

NICK: They’re racist. They probably just assumed that was a cultural thing that you carry a big axe around.

STEVEN: Maybe it’s part of the uniform.

NICK: To be fair, in the Star Wars universe, there are several races, or species, that carry big axes.

HUDSON: And Chewbacca always has- Is that, like- He has the straps across his chest. Do they have bullets in them?

STEVEN: I’m pretty sure it’s a bandolier.

NICK: Yeah, I think they’re ammunition.

HUDSON: They’re ammunition, and whenever they turn in their guns or anything they never ask for that.

LAURA: Well, because you don’t need the bullets if you don’t have the gun.

NICK: Except in Star Wars, all the bullets explode. You could just throw that at somebody.

HUDSON: Yeah, and you could find a gun somewhere and have all this ammo, so I don’t know. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

NICK: Eh. We’re not gonna get into Star Wars gun control arguments right now.


LAURA: Yeah.

STEVEN: It just looks like he’s supposed to wear it.

NICK: You all go up to sleep?

LAURA: Oh yeah. Xianna’s asleep before anyone else.

CAMERON: I ask the bartender of The Gooberfish to send a note to the Oracle with whatever report I got from them on what went down up there. ‘It seems unstable at this point, and it’s spinning kind of weird, but we don’t know what’s going on.’

NICK: Okay. The bartender says, “I will communicate… to the Oracle… for you.”

CAMERON: “Thank you!”

STEVEN: Are you still wearing a cloak on the planet?


NICK: She just got rid of that.

CAMERON: Now that we’re down here, I blew my cover to take you and Xianna in.

NICK: Okay. You all go to sleep?


NICK: Alright. Just a heads up, this next bit is gonna get kind of intense, so if you need to like call a time out or talk outside of character that’s fine. There’s nothing like triggery or anything, but eh, eh… It’s a thing.

You are awoken to the sound of deep thunder, turbo laser fire. There are fires outside The Gooberfish. You grab your gear and run outside. Green light lances down from the sky ripping huge holes in the herdship. You see a city block obliterated and replaced with smoke. We cut to the bridge of the Vengeance.

Multiple of the control boards are hollowed out and smoking. We see the corpses of several officers stretched out on the ground bleeding from small wounds all over their limbs. The captain of the Vengeance is a portly man with well-groomed hair that is still in place even under pressure. He sits in his command chair with three stormtroopers standing around him firing outward at scrabbling creatures climbing over piles of dead, white furred rat-like creatures just like them. the camera zooms past the hoards to stragglers chewing through electronic panels and metal bulk heads. The captain pounds his hand onto the arm of his command chair.

“This is Captain Kruller. The ship is lost. Ithorian terrorists have released some sort of bioweapon. Blockade ships, keep your distance. We can’t risk the weapon spreading. To my crew, it has been an honor serving with each of you. You have acted with honor and strength at every opportunity. Gunnery crews, aim for the primary herdship below us. The Ithorian scum will not get away with this travesty. Fire all until the last. The entire Empire will hear the death call of the Vengeance.”

A wave of the creatures pours over the captain and the stormtroopers, silencing them… and we’re back to the planet again. You are being bombarded from orbit.

LAURA: Oh shit. “This is not good… Okay… Or am I still asleep?”

HUDSON: I wake up.

LAURA: ‘No? This is real? Okay. Just checking…”

NICK: The Vengeance must have put two and two together and is living up to its name. the city won’t last long. Another turbo laser blast rains from the sky striking the building behind you. It is obliterated, showering you all with rubble, and there is only darkness. We’re gonna do these one at a time.

Tink, you wake up half buried under the door of The Gooberfish. Can you make me an Athletics check to see if you can get out of the rubble?

HUDSON: Heh, heh, heh…

LAURA: (giggles)

NICK: (laughs) You’re so strong. Do you not know how to Athletics?

HUDSON: I don’t know how to Athletics at all.


LAURA: Yeah, but you have Brawn.

HUDSON: I have Brawn.

STEVEN: Luckily he’s so fuzzy.

CAMERON: You need a difficulty.

HUDSON: What difficulty?

NICK: Hard.

HUDSON: Two successes and a disadvantage.

NICK: Okay. you are able to get the rubble mostly off of you, but you do cut up your hands some. You take a wound, past your Soak, as your hands start to bleed from the sharp rocks. You have to get to the Afternoon Delight and get off the herdship, quickly. This thing is going down.

HUDSON: I run towards the Afternoon Delight.

NICK: Alright. Describe one scene of the destruction of the city on your way.

STEVEN: (explosion noises)

NICK: Yeah, that’s just happening. It’s just bombarded, big chunks are getting blown away.

STEVEN: Just setting the scene for you, Hudson.

NICK: You can describe one piece of destruction.

HUDSON: So, there’s a man stumbling around kind of in shock, and he’s like yelling over to me, and he’s like, “I don’t know what’s happening. Just tell my family—“ A turbo laser hits him and he evaporates.

NICK: Great.


NICK: You’re the first one to the ship. The landing pad is beginning to crack as you run onboard. What do you do?

HUDSON: I get on the coms and see if anyone else is on their way.

NICK: Alright. We’re gonna stop there, and we’re gonna move to the next one.

Xianna, you come to. The blast threw you across the street and through a shop window. Make me a Coordination check.

LAURA: Oh boy. Do I have that? Yes I do. Okay.

NICK: You’re a rogue. I should hope so.

LAURA: Well, I mean, I actually don’t have any points in it. I looked wrong.

NICK: Eh, oh well. It’s Agility.

LAURA: But I have Agility. Okay. Difficulty?

NICK: Hard.

LAURA: Also, am I still using the Agonizing Wound, or is that gone because of the boot?

NICK: Keep using it. Yeah, it’s going to be extremely difficult for you.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, I’m gonna flip a light side point for this.


LAURA: So… That would be a despair, with a threat…

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: …and then another threat.

NICK: Okay. this window did not shatter in a way that is conducive to you coming away unharmed. You were knocked unconscious from the blast. You weren’t able to catch yourself. You take 10 strain…

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: …and I need you to roll me a crit, please.

LAURA: Can do! Twenty-four.

NICK: Which is?

LAURA: Twenty-four is… Off Balance: Add a black die to the next skill check.

NICK: Okay. a piece of glass has kind of sliced up through your torso and you’re bleeding from there. It also ripped off a lot of the bandages from your foot so it didn’t get enough time to heal, so you still have that one. You’re walking around with two crits. You’re bleeding profusely. You’re in a lot of pain. You can also feel blood running down your forehead. You can smell smoke. The building you are in is burning. You are able to climb over the rubble and through the back door into an alley. You have to get to the ship. The herdship will only stay airborne for so long. You feel the ground jolt as another turbo laser volley strikes the city. Describe one person that you fail to save on your way to the ship.

LAURA: Why are you doing this to me? Um… Oh, I bet there’s like a person in a building and I’m trying to pry a door open to help them out, and I can see the laser blast coming. I’m able to roll away and it hits the farther side of the building, so I don’t get hit but the building itself still blows up.

NICK: Okay. they are obliterated and drop to the jungle beneath.

LAURA: And, they are gone… so then I just keep running.

NICK: You make it to the ship as the city begins to fall. Tink is there ahead of you. Tink, you’ve been trying to call but there’s weird static on the coms. You’re having trouble making connections.

HUDSON: Does our ship have shields I can turn on?

NICK: Yeah.

HUDSON: I turn on the shields.

NICK: Okay. Do you guys say anything as you meet each other on the ship?

LAURA: “So yeah… We’re being blown up. I didn’t realize this was part of it.”

HUDSON: “I think this might be because of us.”

LAURA: “I think it might be, yeah. Let’s pass the blame off to Sentinel. He was the one who told us to do this, and gave us this weapon that he did not explain.”

HUDSON: “I’m okay passing the blame.”

LAURA: “Are Karma and Sabos here yet?”

HUDSON: “No, not yet.”

LAURA: “Okay. I’m going to sit down. I’m kind of hot. I’ll sit in one of the gunnery seats in case we need it, but if I fall asleep please poke me. I’m bleeding out I think.”

HUDSON: “Will do.”

NICK: And she limps into the ship. Karma. You were sent skidding down a side street in the blast. Roll a force die for me.

CAMERON: (giggles nervously) Okay. One dark side.

NICK: You pat yourself down and realize you have lost a piece of equipment. What equipment have you lost?

CAMERON: Hmm… I have so many. I’m going to lose the heavy pistol that I’d stolen from Felton. I’m down a pistol.

NICK: Okay. you lose his heavy pistol. You’re down a pistol. Alright.

CAMERON: Everything else is too expensive to lose.

NICK: The sky is scorched with black smoke. You hear low bellowing somewhere in the distance. The herdship jolts and begins to tilt giving the entire city a slant. You need to get to the ship, now. Your companions will need you. Describe one thing you pass on the way to the ship that reminds you of your time here.

CAMERON: Okay. Karma takes off running down the street, and she runs past the Imperial archive that Sabos had tagged earlier, and all of the buildings around it are destroyed but it’s still standing, and the tag is still like proudly displayed on it, and some other tags have been added since then, like backing it up.

NICK: That’s great. You get to the ship and run inside. Tink and Xianna are there. The landing pad looks like it is about to break free of the herdship entirely.

CAMERON: “Holy shit, guys. Why isn’t the ship turned on?!” She runs to the cockpit and turns it on. (laughs)

LAURA: Xianna’s kind of like, “Oh- Oh… Um, I mean, that’s not really my job. Um, I’m just gonna be in this chair. Um… Yeah. You all can do that. Right? Does anyone have any stim packs? Asking for me.”

CAMERON: “Unfortunately, no. I’m gonna get this ship—Is everybody here?” Karma is flipping all the switches in the cockpit.

NICK: Alright. Good.

LAURA: Xianna starts counting on her fingers. She’s like, “There is Karma, there is Tink—”

HUDSON: That’s everybody—Wait.

LAURA: “There is me… Do we have a fourth person?”

CAMERON: “Yes. Sabos.” (laughs)

LAURA: “Oh, yeah, Sabos. I am bleeding out.”

NICK: So, Sabos. You wake up with your head ringing. The roads are full of rubble. You don’t recognize where you are. You must have been thrown over the back of The Gooberfish. The roads are blocked with solid pieces of durasteel. It will take time to climb over there. The herdship is falling. You smell smoke and can hear the whistling of the wind. You’re far from the ship too far. You’re not sure you’ll make it in time. You’re not even sure it’s possible. What do you do?

STEVEN: “I’m not sure it’s possible…” I run.

NICK: Okay. You start running for the ship?

STEVEN: Yeah. Yeah, sure.

NICK: You’re having to scramble over huge pieces of debris.

STEVEN: Oh, I also just shoot into the air wildly, like hopefully hitting the ISS Vengeance.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Okay. Just running and screaming and shooting.


NICK: You also find a com, just in the middle of the street.

STEVEN: Perfect.

NICK: Yeah, you grab that. We jump back to the ship. The pad is cracking and starting to fall. You can feel it. You have to take off or you are going to be dropped to the jungle at this point.

CAMERON: Alright. I engage the engines so we start lifting off, but I’m hovering. I’m  not leaving yet.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: “I think we gotta go.”

LAURA: “Let’s see if we can get Sabos on the coms.”

STEVEN: “This is Sabos, on the coms,” Sabos says on the coms.

LAURA: “Oh!”

CAMERON: “Convenient. Where are you at?”

STEVEN: “I… I don’t know. I see durasteel everywhere, and there’s piles of it…”

CAMERON: “That’s not real helpful.”

STEVEN: “…things are cracking…”

CAMERON: I’m gonna start driving the ship along back towards the route towards The Gooberfish flying slightly above the buildings so that we can see the streets.

NICK: Okay.

STEVEN: “I’ll be shooting up into the air.”

CAMERON: “Oh- Okay. Shields engaged. We’re good.”

NICK: So, turbo laser fire is raining down around you. It’s extremely risky, you could get hit, but you’re making your way back along. Sabos, you actually see the ship in the distance with search lights going. It’s headed in pretty much your direction.

STEVEN: I keep shooting at it.

NICK: Are you still running down the street?


NICK: You come to a barrier that’s about 20 feet high. You’re not able to get around it.

STEVEN: “Well, I’m not 20 feet tall,” I say on the coms.

CAMERON: “Okay?”

LAURA: “Well, yes?”

LAURA & HUDSON: “What does that even mean?”

STEVEN: “You see, there’s something about 20 feet tall in front of me, and I’m a solid six feet tall.”

CAMERON: Can I roll a Perception to see if I can figure out what 20 foot tall thing he’s talking about since it’s kind of being flattened?

NICK: Sure.

STEVEN: I’ll be shooting at you.

CAMERON: Okay. I’m also looking for blaster fire coming from the surface.

NICK: Sure. This’ll be average.

LAURA: Xianna yells out from the gunnery seat. “I have glitterstim if you want that. It kind of helps you see things better. I mean, it kind of gets weird, but in case you want that…”

CAMERON: “Don’t really have time for that right now.”

STEVEN: I shoot directly at the cockpit.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: “Tink, what about you? You want some glitterstim? I mean, why not?”

CAMERON: That’s three successes and a threat.

NICK: Okay. you can see where he’s at, and you start to head that direction, but he’s a little far.

STEVEN: “Do you see me? I’m shooting at you.” Pew, pew.

CAMERON: “I see you, buddy. I’m coming over there.”

NICK: So, Sabos, at this point, you get a brief moment, you look up and see the glow of a turbo laser barrage headed straight towards you. You have about a second to react. There’s no way you’re getting out of this. Do you have any regrets?

STEVEN: My only regret is that I didn’t save more people with my head tails.

NICK: The last we see of Sabos…

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: …is him staring peacefully into the sky. You’re able to get close enough that you see him silhouetted by the laser. A glowing green light comes straight for him. He holds his fourth head tail. There is a roar, a flash, and he is gone.

LAURA: Xianna is in the gunnery seat and she’s like, “Oh! I see Sabos—Ohhh… Oh. Kriff. Oh, oh boy. Okay. Uh, Sabos just died…”

HUDSON: “Are you sure?”

LAURA: “Yes. We kind of just watched him get shot with turbo lasers. I don’t think you survive that.”

CAMERON: I’m gonna swoop over that spot.

NICK: You can see down to the jungle below. About a 50 yard in every direction hole has been blown in the herdship. There’s nothing.

CAMERON: “Yeah, not promising…”

NICK: And the bombardment begins to increase as well.

CAMERON: I’m gonna fly off. I guess I raise the ramp, because it’s been down.

LAURA: “Yeah, he’s gone. We fly away.”

CAMERON: And I’m gonna fly off…

NICK: Okay. So, from the Afternoon Delight you see the back of the city broken by the bombardment. The herdship drops impossibly fast to the jungle below, and is engulfed in flames.

The jungle begins to burn. As you fly for orbit you see that the Vengeance has stopped firing. It’s venting atmosphere and drifting, dead. You see fires and explosions throughout the ship. It looks like the ship finally succumbed to the weapon you introduced. The other ships of the blockade have pulled back far from the super star destroyer. One of them is shooting the smattering of escape pods that are being jettisoned from the Vengeance. You’re able to break from the gravity well without being noticed and jump to hyperspace.

End of episode.

ALL: Ba-na~!

(All make dramatic noises)


## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

Word document download: Episode 12 We Didn’t Start the Firefight

PDF download: Episode 12 We Didn’t Start the Firefight

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 12:
We Didn’t Start the Firefight

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

We hope you all are enjoying our double release schedule for the next few weeks. Remember, another episode of the flashback series starring Jet and Juke will be out next Thursday as well. This was all thanks to your thoughtful reviews. Please continue to spread the word about the show so that we can continue to expand.

Additional music this week is Konjioya by Dan Yankee, Pocket Zombie by FlexVector, and The League of Mice by DZ.

We hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron! I’m Nick, your host and game master. Welcome to Episode 12. We’re gonna go around the table. Everybody say who you are, what your character is, and if you spent any experience since the last time we played let us know what you upgraded. Gonna start with Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello! I am playing Karma Nailo the Nautolan bounty hunter, and I have upgraded my Deception skill to Rank 2 and my Brawl skill to Rank 1.

NICK: Ooh.


NICK: Alright. Next up, we’ve got Steven.



STEVEN: I’m playing Sabos the Togruta, and I got that right the first time.

NICK: Yeah, we’re very proud of you.

STEVEN: And I had a 2000% increase in my Vigilance score up from 0 to 2.

NICK: Wow, that’s pretty good. Next up we’ve got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink the Gigoran slicer, and I too upped my Vigilance from 0 to 2.

STEVEN: Two million percent.

HUDSON: Two— … Yeah.


NICK: Last but not least, we’ve got Laura.

LAURA: Hello. I’m Laura. I play Xianna, and I upgraded my Streetwise from 1 to 2, not a 2000% increase.

NICK: One to 2 in Streetwise. Great.

LAURA: I also bought another Grit on my talent tree.

NICK: Nice. That’s good. You’ll be able to stand up to whatever strain you run into.

LAURA: Hopefully. That is the plan.

NICK: I’m sure you won’t need that.

LAURA: It’ll be fine.

STEVEN: I have lots of Survival.

NICK: We’re very proud of you. (laughs) Before we get started, let’s do the Destiny Roll!

CAMERON: One dark side.

STEVEN: One dark side.

LAURA: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side.

CAMERON: Thank you, Hudson.

LAURA: You are gonna save us.

HUDSON: Saved it.

NICK: Tink’s the shining light in the darkness.

CAMERON: So, that is three dark side, two light side.

NICK: Great. When we last left off, several of you had been, I’m making air quotes, “captured” by the Empire, and are now actually captured by the Empire. Sabos and Xianna are being led deeper into the ship presumably to some sort of space jail, or as they call it, ‘the brig.’ Karma is leaving on her borrowed ship to go and run support, and Tink is scrambling out of the landing bay trying to get to computers, I assume.


NICK: Great. So, we open on the landing bay of the super star destroyer. A small transport is lifting off, and the camera zooms in enough to show Karma in the pilot seat before panning wide. The landing area of the super star destroyer, Vengeance, is lined with TIE fighters. It’s about the size of a football field. The black floors are polished to a mirror shine and there are a series of doors lining the far walls. The camera pans and we see a blur of white fur as Tink runs into one of the doors and into a hallway.

We’re gonna start with you, Tink. You have the Rancore Protocol. What are you planning on doing? You’re on the ship to destroy it, to break up the blockade. The Rancore Protocol is going to help, but you haven’t opened it up, so you’re not sure what it does. It’s like a flash drive with an encrypted program on it that you know will help, you’re not sure how.

CAMERON: You also have the mysterious Chinese take-out box.

NICK: Oh. Do you?




NICK: Yeah, he does.

CAMERON: He has everything that they’re gonna need on the ship. The only thing that I think didn’t go up… I still have Sabos’s rifle because it’s ginormous, but I think all of Xianna’s guns and stuff are with Tink. No, you have some of them, because they’re hidden.

LAURA: I pretty much kept all of my stuff except…

CAMERON: Oh! I have all your drugs.

LAURA: yes! I left my drugs.

CAMERON: That’s what it was. I have the drugs.

LAURA: All of them? Shit.

CAMERON: I think so.

STEVEN: It might be a long time in that cell.

LAURA: That was a bad idea.

CAMERON: Because I think you didn’t want them finding them.

NICK: (laughs) Roll for withdrawal. (musically)

CAMERON: Wait, no. you have a little compact case thing. You kept your compact case. I think I just had the extra drugs.

NICK: If it comes up we’ll figure it out. I’m not too worried about it.

CAMERON: Okay. We’ll just say the only thing I have, definitely, is Sabos’s gun, because that’s not something Tink can sneak with easily.

NICK: Sure. So, they’re on the ship captured. You’re presumably gonna wanna break them out, run support. You have already proven you can get into these computers, so you can do research for them, you can fuck with stuff on the ship, you have whatever’s in the take-out box of doom which you know if you open it in the right place will pretty much destroy the ship but you gotta figure that out, and you have your encrypted program that will do something really cool but you never decrypted it so you’re not sure what it is. Does that make sense?

LAURA: Remember that you have coms and I have coms.

CAMERON: Sabos got his confiscated.

LAURA: Sabos does not have coms, but you and I can talk to each other, at least.

HUDSON: Yeah. Okay.

CAMERON: And y’all can talk to me.


CAMERON: Because I also have coms, but I’m not on the ship. I’m leaving.

STEVEN: I should’ve hidden them in my head tails.

CAMERON: I mean, that’s where your ear would be, they just… Yours was more visible than Xianna’s.

STEVEN: Yeah. It’s a shame.

CAMERON: They were just real excited about finding the spray paint on Xianna so they stopped looking.

LAURA: Well, Xianna has the benefit of being a Twi’lek, so she wears a headgear piece that can hide things.

STEVEN: That’s true.

HUDSON: So, I’m in a hallway right now.

NICK: Yup. You’re in a standard hallway for a super star destroyer. It is long, it is lined by doors, there are some cameras but they’re not really pointed towards you. You think you’ll be able to avoid them pretty easily, kind of like at a department store where they have the cameras but they’re just pointed into random corners and stuff. They’re not that good.

STEVEN: The eight and a half foot tall Gigoran can avoid the cameras easily?

NICK: Yup.

HUDSON: Yeah, my Stealth.

STEVEN: Pretty good. (laughs)

NICK: He’s solid. So, you would be wanting to probably get into the system, and first thing would probably be support them in some sort of escape attempt and decipher the Rancore Protocol a little bit.

HUDSON: Yeah, I know what I’m doing. I know what I’m gonna do now.

NICK: Okay. Talk through the thing.

HUDSON: In the hallway, I look left and right and try to read if there’s anything on the doors that is legible, any signs that say something like ‘Technology Room.’

NICK: (laughs) Roll me a force die, would you? (hums a Star Wars tune)

HUDSON: One light side.

NICK: Yeah. It turns out that this place is super organized and has the hospital colored stripe lines to lead you places. Because this is where people land and then debark through the ship, you’re next to one of the keys that’s like ‘red arrow, Barracks, yellow arrow, Mess, black arrow, the Bridge, white arrow, Technology Center.’ (laughs)

HUDSON: Ah, good. I go towards the Technology Center, being stealthy along the way.

NICK: Alright. Make me a Stealth roll.

LAURA: Nah, it’s fine.

HUDSON: What level of difficulty?

NICK: Average, two purples.

HUDSON: Two successes, three threats.

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: Yeah, so… You are able to sneak through these corridors pretty easily. There are a few patrols. You see two stormtroopers turn around the corner, and right before they see you an officer comes through a door and starts throwing a fit, and he’s yelling. “Oh, this is stupid! I can’t believe they’re doing this! This maneuver makes no sense!” The two stormtroopers just ‘nope’ and turn around and leave, and you’re able to get past them without any problems.

You get to a clear transparesteel door, and inside you can see banks of computers and a couple of technicians. It looks very 1970s mission control in its setup. You get to the door, the door swings open, and you fall prone with a loud bang. (dramatic bass noise) And we’re gonna switch perspectives!

So, moving on from that, you can think about how you’re gonna deal with that situation. Sabos and Xianna, the camera pans into the back of Tink’s head and you see a forest of white fur, and then zooms out of a stormtrooper’s helmet. You are being escorted down the hallway by two stormtroopers and the deck captain with his squeebly mustache and his well-pressed black uniform. The halls are almost blank. You pass a door and four  more stormtroopers pile out of an adjoining hallway and fall into formation.

The captain says, “It’s lucky that we were treated with reinforcements yesterday. This is the most secure ship in the Empire.” It’s almost like it would have been easier to navigate the ship if you had been there a day earlier.

STEVEN: “How many reinforcements were you treated with? I just want to know how bad of an idea bad ideas would be.”

NICK: “You know, it’s really weird, I almost told you exactly what our armament is, but you’re a prisoner!” He motions, and a stormtrooper smacks you in the back of the head.

STEVEN: My head tails absorb it and I make a (yelping) ‘ow’ noise.

(snorts, snickering and giggling)

LAURA: (mockingly) ‘Ow.’

NICK: Yeah. That makes sense. You are being led further and further into the ship. This is a super star destroyer, so it’s roughly city sized, it’s very big. The Vengeance is not the biggest one but it is still quite large. Xianna, can you make me an Underworld check?

LAURA: I can!

NICK: We’ll see if you’ve been arrested in a star destroyer before.

LAURA: Ooh! Maybe.


CAMERON: It shall be so interesting to find out.

LAURA: Just a straight one, or is there difficulty?

NICK: Average.

LAURA: Yeah. Two successes, and one threat.

NICK: Alright. Time to start the threat counter. Don’t worry about what that’s adding up to, everybody.

LAURA: It’ll be fine.

NICK: It will be fine. So yes, you’ve been arrested on a star destroyer before, and while you haven’t ever been on a super star destroyer, one of the things that happens in empires is they standardize a lot of stuff. It’s pretty easy to tell. You’re on a—Ooh! What’s the name of that stupid pattern? The one that’s like checker board but it’s not.

LAURA: Hound’s Tooth?

NICK: Yeah. You’re on the Hound’s Tooth line and you pass one of the keys on the wall that says ‘Detention Area.’ You’re following that, and you know in the past that it tends to be pretty far in, the security gets stronger the closer you are, and the longer you stay with this group the harder it’s going to be to rendezvous with Tink and do the mission, but as you’re thinking that through, one of the stormtroopers peels off and gets on a turbo lift and goes away. You think it’ll be harder to get back out, but there will be less people to overpower or confuse or trick or whatever your plan is the further in you go.

LAURA: How many stormtroopers are currently around us?

CAMERON: It would be five plus the deck captain.

NICK: Mm-hmm. It was six plus the deck captain, one just left, so you got six dudes.

LAURA: Xianna kind of whispers over at Sabos. “Mmm, Sabos? Hypothetically speaking, in the past, have you ever gotten into unarmed bar fights?”

STEVEN: “Oh, I have a knife.”


NICK: “What?!”

LAURA: “You don’t just say that out loud.”

STEVEN: “Uh, we call head tails, uh, my fourth head tail.”

LAURA: “Oh. Oh yes, of course, that Togruta slang.”

NICK: “Captain. Captain! The captive is saying he has a knife!”

STEVEN: “It’s a fourth head tail, Togruta things. I’m a diplomat—“

NICK: You can roll me a Deception.

STEVEN: Yeah, let’s do it. Yeah, this is gonna go well.

LAURA: Can Xianna help him by trying to talk…?

STEVEN: How hard is it?

NICK: It’s gonna be average. They don’t actually believe that you’re competent. You can have a blue die for chipping in.

LAURA: Xianna wants to chip in and be like, “Oh yes, it’s head tail slang…”

STEVEN: Um… It’s two advantages.

NICK: They don’t believe you, but you can have some advantages. You can spend the advantages to give yourself a blue die on the opposed Skulduggery check to see if they find the knife that you were talking about.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’ll be fine.

CAMERON: Can the advantages be that they’re like, ‘eh, he’s not that threatening. There’s five of us. I’m sure it’s fine.’

NICK: They’re still gonna pat him down. This deck captain’s pretty mad. “Well, we must search the prisoner again.” They go to pat you down.

STEVEN: “Yu… You already did.”

NICK: “Yes, but clearly you’re admitting to contraband, you strange mutant.”

STEVEN: “By the way, my knife is hidden under my head tails.”

NICK: Gross.

STEVEN: (laughs) It’s sheathed.

LAURA: I’m assuming we’re in binders. Are our hands in front or behind?

NICK: In front.

LAURA: Okay.

STEVEN: Perfect.

NICK: You can try an droll me some sort of talky check to make them not want to search you by making your head tails sound gross, which you did, or you can say that it’s hidden well enough they don’t find it and they think you’re crazy. Which would you prefer to do?

STEVEN: Let’s try a talky check. We’ll Negotiate?

NICK: No. you can do Charm or Deception.

STEVEN: Well, yeah, let’s do Deception again. Yeah.

NICK: Okay. A blue die from your advantages from your last one. This is average. They don’t really wanna search you again, they’re just trying to get you to the brig so they can get on with their actual job.

STEVEN: Yeah. I’m just gonna start talking about head tails, like you can touch the fourth head tail if you’d like, and that’s what I call my knife.

NICK: You don’t even have eyebrows, but they’re wiggling.

STEVEN: A success and an advantage.

NICK: There you go. Okay, the captain looks and says, “He probably has a knife… but we’re not going to look for it. Continue on.” You get bashed in the head again with a rifle.

STEVEN: I give him one head tail to feel, like ‘this is my knife.’

NICK: “No, no, no. Prisoner, I don’t even know how you managed to do that. Your hands are bound in front of you.”

STEVEN: “I am double-jointed in the shoulders, and I—“

NICK: “Gross. Gross. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Soldiers, keep your prisoners under control, and we’re gonna keep on moving.”

LAURA: “So, anyways, (sternly) Sabos.”

STEVEN: “You wanna touch the head tail?”

LAURA: “No. I have my own. They are much nicer, thank you.”

STEVEN: “That’s true.”

LAURA: “Thank you.”

STEVEN: “Mine are bigger.”

LAURA: “No… No thank you.”


LAURA: “Anyways. If you in the past had gotten into bar fights, how many people did you fight at once with no weapons? In the past, you know that bar fight you got into a few months ago?”

STEVEN: “Yes. That bar fight.”

LAURA: “How many people was that against?”

STEVEN: “Solid one, maybe two.”

LAURA: “(heavy sigh)”

STEVEN: “Maybe, maybe not even one. Does a mug count?”

LAURA: “No, Sabos, a mug does not count unless you have a mug on you right now.”

STEVEN: “No. I fought a mug.”

LAURA: “(sighs)”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: (laughing) Alright. On that line, we’re going to pan over to Karma, actually. So, we jump to a shot of you, it’s an over the shoulder view, as you’re steering away from the star destroyer. You’re in a square, blocky space ferry basically, not the best ship in the world. What are you doing?

CAMERON: So, at this point Felton has climbed out of the other storage compartment he was hiding in when we landed.

NICK: “Is it good to come out?”

CAMERON: “Yeah. We’re already off the ship.”

NICK: “Oh. I thought I felt some acceleration, but you know, with a… uh, that joke’s not good. Anyway. What were you saying?”


CAMERON: “I wasn’t saying anything. I’m just flying.”

NICK: “Yeah. I’m working on censoring myself a little better, making friends, you know.”

CAMERON: “Cool. So yeah, we’re flying away from the star destroyer.”

NICK: “That’s exactly where I want to be.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, so we’re gonna head back down to the herdship.”

NICK: “What are we gonna do down there?”

CAMERON: “Well, uh, first off I need to get rid of this ship, probably, and just turn it back into the rental facility, like not actually get rid of it.”

NICK: “Yeah. Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Because I want my ship back. And, I mean, we got a while… I don’t know how long it’s gonna take them up there, but I mean, we can hang out and talk…”

NICK: “Ooh…”

CAMERON: “We could, um, we could go mess around with some of the other ships in the blockade?”

NICK: “That sounds interesting.”

CAMERON: “I would need your assistance on that, because I do have a…” She pulls out the security cylinder from her jacket. “I do have this, so we can fake credentials, but it is a male officer so I would need your voice for that to work. I don’t know what exactly we would accomplish by doing that, but…”

NICK: “Well, you’re the mission planner. I was just supposed to secure supplies, and you keep threatening to shoot me when I try to leave the group, so…”


NICK: “It’s whatever you wanna do…” The ship will go down to the planet. Is your goal to get back up in space on the Afternoon Delight or are you staying on the herdship?

CAMERON: We’re gonna stay on the herdship for the moment.

NICK: Okay. If you’re on the ship with the com setup that you all have, anybody with a com is gonna be able to communicate with you, so if things start to get hot or you feel the need to get them a distraction, something like that, you’ll be able to jump in. we’ll check in on you periodically if you are deciding to do that.

CAMERON: We probably will head back up, but I don’t want to get up high enough that I show up on any of the sensors as approaching them.

NICK: Okay, so you’re thinking low orbit on standby.


NICK: Okay! So, we are gonna jump back to Tink. You have just loudly face-planted. There are three technicians in this room. Two of them kind of jump up and turn around. They’re wearing white kind of static suits that you see on people in server rooms occasionally but with the little Imperial logo on the breast pocket. They turn around, and they don’t even know exactly what to do.

One of the guys goes, “This is highly irregular,” and the other one just starts routing around under his desk. You don’t know what he’s looking for.

HUDSON: “Ow. Man… Can someone help me up?”

NICK: “Uh, yeah.” The first guy grabs you and tries to help you to your feet.

HUDSON: “Ah, thank you. I’m actually here to fix one of the systems.”

NICK: “Uh, what? You’re not on the information core.”

HUDSON: “Oh, no, no. it’s a weird thing. My escort’s actually in the bathroom right now, and he forgot to put me on there.”

NICK: (grinning) Alright. Make me a deception roll, please. (laughter) I’m super happy that you’re trying to social engineer this.

LAURA: Oh boy.

HUDSON: Yeah. My Deception is not so hot, really. Let’s look here.

NICK: You could flip a light side point.

LAURA: You have nothing in Deception.

HUDSON: I have nothing in Deception.

STEVEN: But you have Cunning.

HUDSON: I do have Cunning, though.

CAMERON: You got this.

NICK: So, it’s gonna be an average difficulty, because you are big and imposing. This guy doesn’t really wanna call your bluff, but he’s also obligated by his duty to the Empire.

HUDSON: Alright. Two successes and a threat.

NICK: A threat, you say? One more for the threat counter. (musically) Don’t worry about that, I’m sure it’s fine.

Okay. The guy stands up, takes a step back from you and looks at you. “Well, whoever your escort is, he really shouldn’t have done that, but we’ve got an extra terminal over here. The other technician was off duty today. I guess you can set up there. You have your login credentials, right?”

HUDSON: “Yes, absolutely.”

NICK: At this point, the guy who was routing around under his desk pulls out a heavy blaster pistol and goes, “Ha-ha! I got it—Oh… You’re a contractor. Darn,” and puts it back under the desk and goes back to sit down.

HUDSON: “Ha. No need for that unless it’s Nerf.”

NICK: “No, I can assure you, it’s quite real.”


NICK: “It’s not one of those stun blasters from the Nerf Interstellar Corporation that some offices like to use for teambuilding.”


CAMERON: That was great.

NICK: I saved it!

CAMERON: I’m happy those exist now.

NICK: Yup. Nerf blasters are a thing.

HUDSON: They survived hundreds of years.

NICK: And a different galaxy.

LAURA: Different galaxy, Hudson.

HUDSON: Oh yeah.

STEVEN: About the same time.

CAMERON: Also, a long time ago.

NICK: LEGO is also canon.

HUDSON: Oh, it is?

NICK: It is now. I just said so. So, moving on! The technician shows you over to a seat. It’s like a spinny barstool kind of thing. It is way too short for you so you have to hunch over, but there’s lots of glowing lights and a clear screen with a bunch of geometric shapes on it that don’t seem to move no matter what you do, and there’s some data ports. It’s pretty much a node into the main computer of the star destroyer. Good job.

HUDSON: Alright. I say, “Thank you so much. I’m good now.”

NICK: “Alright. Well, I think I need to oversee until your minder gets back, so I’ll just stand here… Don’t mind me.”

HUDSON: ‘Okay. Sounds good.”

NICK: “Great.” (musically) One Deception check does not complete access get you. (laughter)

Okay. We’re gonna jump back to Sabos and Xianna. you are heading deeper in. you have taken a turbo lift down at this point. It was quite crowded, five stormtroopers, a deck captain, the two of you in a small elevator. As you pile out, two more of the stormtroopers peel away and head off on a separate patrol, so you’re down to three stormtroopers and the deck captain.

LAURA: Once those other stormtroopers get far enough away, Xianna looks over at Sabos. “Uh, Sabos…”

STEVEN: “Yes?”

LAURA: “My hands are currently in my pockets, and I am about to take my hands out of my pockets.”

NICK: How do you have your hands in your pockets?

LAURA: I have many pockets. (giggles)

NICK: Oh, okay.

CAMERON: She’s got the two side pockets, and then there’s a middle pocket that connects the two, so she just reached into that one. (laughs)

LAURA: I probably have my two hands in one of the side pockets, so it’s a little awkward looking, but the coat flairs a bit so there is room to kind of shift it to do that. I am holding my blaster in one hand as I tell this to Sabos. “Okay Sabos, hands are coming out of the pockets in three… two… one,” and then I pull out my blaster and start shooting.

NICK: Alright. You can make a Cool check.

LAURA: (gasps) I have Cool!

NICK: Sabos, you can make a Cool or a Vigilance check on whether you’re surprised by this maneuver or not.

STEVEN: I’ll do Cool.

LAURA: Was there a difficulty in that?

NICK: NO. it’s initiative. It’s a straight check.

LAURA: Three successes, one advantage.

NICK: Damn.

STEVEN: A triumph and two advantages.


CAMERON: And a success.

STEVEN: And a success.

LAURA: We’re cool.

NICK: Triumph, a success, and two advantages… And then, the stormtroopers are going to roll as a group, so that’s gonna be three greens for them. these guys are reasonably capable.

CAMERON: Three successes, two advantages.

NICK: Oh shit.

STEVEN: They pretty cool.

NICK: And then the deck captain is a green and a yellow.

CAMERON: Three successes, one advantage.

NICK: Ooh, this is not gonna go well. We’re gonna do NPC slot, PC slot, NPC slot, PC slot. That being said, with those advantages and that triumph, you can add some stuff to this scene to work in your advantage.

LAURA: So, I definitely want there to not be any cameras in this particular area.

NICK: Alright. That’s two advantages. You have one advantage and a triumph left.

LAURA: (gasps) There’s some sort of large cleaning droid, like trash can sized, that we can get behind a little bit.

NICK: Okay. I’ll even give you, if you spend the triumph on it, I’ll say that it’s driven between you and the guards as it goes off, so you’ll have cover when they try to shoot you, and that’s why you moved when you did.

LAURA: It’s your triumph.

NICK: Unless you want to use your triumph on something else. Either way, you get an advantage or a triumph to spend.

STEVEN: Yeah. That seems pretty good, or just them falling prone.

CAMERON: Can the other advantage be that there’s also a trash chute in this hallway? Because there’s a trash droid, you need a trash chute.

NICK: Steven rolled a bunch of stuff. If he has an idea, I’d love him to use it.

STEVEN: One of my ideas was they fall prone, but I kind of like a trash droid better. I think a triumph can make them fall prone.

LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: You got three advantages and a triumph, so you can have…

STEVEN: Yeah. You can have a trash chute.

NICK: No cameras, a trash chute, and a trash droid that’s driven between them. it’s like a mini-fridge…

STEVEN: Do we know where the trash chute goes?

CAMERON: … To the trash room.

STEVEN: Perfect. Just wanted to make sure.

NICK: (laughs) Okay. So, that’s all going on right now. As you go to pull your pistol, it’s almost like there were people guarding you, watching you, that could hear you, and the stormtroopers are going to attempt to basically just tackle you to the ground. I need a green and a yellow against two purple, unless you have Melee Defense.

LAURA: Um, I don’t have Melee Brawl, but I do have 1 Defense in Melee.

NICK: … What?

LAURA: The smuggler’s trench coat gives you 1 Defense for both Ranged and Melee.

NICK: Okay, so there’s a black die in there too, and they’re basically just trying to tackle you to the ground. “She’s got a gun! She’s got a gun! Get her!” Oh, and another black die because there’s a droid in the way, and the three of them are trying to pile on Xianna.

LAURA: I have Agility. (laughs)

NICK: Does not matter. You also have Streetwise, and we’re all very happy about that.

STEVEN: I just yell, “Watch the head tails!”

CAMERON: Two purple, two black, a yellow, and a green?

NICK: Yup.

CAMERON: That is one failure.

NICK: Aw. Okay. They run to try and tackle Xianna to the ground, the three stormtroopers, leaving Sabos unguarded for a second. They trip up over the droid, and the one that manages to get past them tries to throw the butt of his rifle in your direction but it gets kind of deflected by the folds of your coat, and you find yourself with an open shot. Now it is a PC slot. Who’s gonna take it?

LAURA: I’m gonna take it since I have a gun.


LAURA: Yeah.

NICK: (laughs)

STEVEN: And people near you.

LAURA: And people near me. I’m gonna shoot him!

NICK: Alright. They’re at engaged range, which should make it an easy shot for you, unless you have… What’s the range on your pistol?

LAURA: It’s medium, but I have increased difficulty past short range, but if they’re engaged…

NICK: So it just makes it average then, because it goes one for engaged, but then one back for… Well, we’ll just do two difficulty. Whatever. Who cares? Not me.

LAURA: Yeah. So, two purple?

NICK: Two purple!

LAURA: I’m gonna flip a light side point.

NICK: (hums Star Wars tune)


LAURA: Yeah. That’s a complete wash.

NICK: Oh, okay. So you pivot on one foot and shoot up at the people who tried to attack you, and also shoot your trash droid, and it starts to (wailing noise) and starts spinning in circles. It looks like you hit one of the wheels.

LAURA: “Sorry!”

NICK: Moving on to an NPC slot. The deck captain says, “This is highly irregular!” He pulls out a small hulled out blaster, and seeing that Sabos is also spinning around tries to take a shot at him. That’s gonna be a green and a yellow versus two purple.

STEVEN: I’m just spinning around following the droid.

CAMERON: Does he get the black because the droid’s in between them?

NICK: He does get a black die because of the droid that is getting in the way of everything right now.

CAMERON: Okie-dokie.

NICK: (musically) Mobile cover.

CAMERON: A failure and one advantage.

NICK: He’s gonna use the advantage. He shoots at you, also hits the droid but doesn’t seem to hit anything important. The pitch of the droid’s screaming gets higher, but he doesn’t hit anybody or anything. “Blast! Ha-ha.”

STEVEN: ‘You tried.”

NICK: And it’s Sabos’s turn. (laughs)

STEVEN: I’m gonna try to vibro-knife him.

NICK: The deck captain?


NICK: Alright.

STEVEN: Because that’s what I got.

NICK: What does that look like, you running to stab this guy?

STEVEN: Well, my hands are also bound, but I can get the knife from the pocket, like, just two handed stab.

NICK: Cool.

STEVEN: I’m just gonna walk up to him, head tails a-swinging, and try to knife him.

NICK: Oh, okay. So that’s gonna be two purples.

STEVEN: I’m gonna look inquisitive, like, ‘why, why did you try to shoot me? I’m just over there spinning with the droid,’ and then (impact noises), you know.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: Okay. So, a black die because your hands are tied together, but otherwise just two purple.

STEVEN: Yup. This is gonna go well.

NICK: Oh, I’m sure.

STEVEN: Well, I got two advantages. (laughs)

NICK: Okay, so he steps backwards, your stab doesn’t connect because you’re wearing handcuffs so you’re not able to extend all the way. He points his gun at you. “Rebel scum!”

STEVEN: Can I spend one of the advantages on Xianna having a blue die?

NICK: Yeah, we’ll say you trying to stab their commanding officer—

STEVEN: Took them by surprise.

NICK: Yeah. Two of the stormtroopers turn to see what’s going on with the guy who’s their boss, and…

STEVEN: Also, if they think I’m even more incompetent, that would be cool too.

NICK: I think everyone thinks you’re incompetent. It’s okay. “Wow! He actually did have a knife.”

STEVEN: “Where was it?”

NICK: “Gross!”

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: Then we’re gonna jump to karma, so we can keep on moving. So, what has happened?

CAMERON: Felton and I have parked the ship, to the herdship. The shot probably shows us just at the Afternoon Delight floating above the herdship with some of the, you can kind of see some of the hazy forest floor of the planet below the herdship, and we enter into a deep conversation that they’ve been having about Felton’s hopes and dreams.

NICK: “Well, I always wanted to be a professional dancer, but… I try really hard, and I’m an athletic guy, but yeah, dancing. You know, Selonian dancing, some of the finest in the universe, and being a male Selonian, of which there are not many, I had lots of partners until I got … banished.”

CAMERON: “Oh… Well, I’m sure there are other Selonians who don’t live on planet that you could join up and form a dance troop.”

NICK: “Uh… I mean, yeah, except most of them don’t really like to talk to me, just like, in general. I could dance with anyone. I’m not a big fan of the traditional Selonian dances. I really like that one Twi’lek dance where they move their arms in like a really repetitive pattern.”

CAMERON: ‘Oh yeah, I love that one.”

NICK: “Yeah. That one’s really good. I just haven’t had time. I’ve been busy being the Rancore of Coronet.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, so, you mentioned that the talking isn’t really a thing, but I’ve found in dancing that that’s not often required, so I don’t know really why you would see that as being an issue for you, unless it’s really just getting past, getting through the door to start the dancing and making friends. It seems like once you get there you’re just letting yourself go and the talking shouldn’t really be necessary. The dancing does that for you.”

NICK: “You’re right. I do speak with my body.” (laughing) And we’re gonna cut back to—Egh. I don’t like this character. (laughter)

We’re gonna cut back to Tink. You are at your programming station with a presumably competent computer technician watching what you’re doing. Whatcha gonna do?

HUDSON: I try to log in a few times with just random credentials that say ‘Admin1’ or something like that. It doesn’t work.

NICK: Roll me a force die.

HUDSON: One dark side.

NICK: Nope. Doesn’t work. It actually starts a security countdown, or is about to. You use up all of your allowance for inaccurate passwords before it does it.

HUDSON: “Oh man. This is my first week… Uh, ugh, I don’t think my credentials are turned on yet. Do you mind… Do you mind?”

NICK: Make me… some sort of check. You can do Computers if you want by saying you’re using like proper jargon and stuff.

HUDSON: Yeah, I’m using proper jargon, so computers.

NICK: Yeah. It’ll be average, but a black die, because this is getting highly irregular.

LAURA: Did you go to an Imperial school for computers?

HUDSON: Yeah, so I should know the jargon.

LAURA: Yeah, so you might know some of the specific terms they use.

HUDSON: Mm-hmm.

NICK: That’s what he’s doing.

HUDSON: A success and a triumph.

NICK: Alright. What would you like to use your triumph on? He’s gonna log you in. I have an idea, but I wanna know what yours is.

HUDSON: Do I see any security cameras? Can I see what’s happening to them?

NICK: We’ll go ahead and say, just with what’s going on, there are security cameras but they’re not pointed directly in your direction. Probably no one would notice that you were in here.

HUDSON: Oh. I have something for the triumph.

NICK: Okay.

HUDSON: Alright. Can I pee myself, and then ask them to get me towels acting really embarrassed?



CAMERON: This is a triumph?!

LAURA: What?!

STEVEN: That’s his granola.

LAURA: That’s what you wanna use the triumph on?!

HUDSON: The person beside me actually walks away, no one pays attention to me—

NICK: No. You clear the room!

LAURA: That’s an everyone would pay attention to you!

NICK: Nope! Nope! New canon. Gigoran pee smells terrible. You pee yourself, and what do you say?

HUDSON: “Oh my god, I’m s—Uh, uh, can y’all go get towels?!”


NICK: The technician goes “Oh, oh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Okay, okay, okay. We can fix this. Oh, that’s—Oh gosh.” You can see his eyes start to water up. “I gotta get out of here.” The other two technicians get up and one of them goes, “What is going on? We gotta go. We gotta get some towels,” and all three of them run out of the room.

HUDSON: Alright. Quickly, I take out the Rancore Protocol and I plug it in, see what I can do with it.

NICK: Okay. You plug it in and it starts running. You’re not sure what it’s doing. You can make me a computer check to decrypt it a little bit, get some info.

HUDSON: Yeah, I’d like to see what it’s doing.

LAURA: God, Tink is SO weird.

NICK: It’ll be average. It should be a lot harder than that, but you’ve done so many good computer things getting it that you’re pretty sure you know what you’re doing.

HUDSON: Okay. We have three threats, five successes, and a triumph.

NICK: Okay, so you slip in your pee and fall prone.

(dramatic bass noise)


CAMERON: Ew. He just slides off the stool.

STEVEN: But he’s a mop, so he cleans it up.

NICK: Yeah, that’s worse. You’re gonna be so soggy. So, with all those successes, having messed with this a few times even though you decided not to decrypt it you couldn’t help but think about it over the course of the last few days, and you’re like ‘I betcha this kind of encryption is what’s going on,’ and you’re able to try it, and you’re right, and you get right in.

The Rancore Protocol is a program that is surprisingly deep. It has a lot of different layers, and it all interconnects almost like a brain. There’s a lot of stuff going on. What you see as you plug it in, it started auto-running, and it started doing a few things all at the same time.

  1. The security system started doing some weird stuff, you’re not sure what, but a lot of cameras are starting to flicker. 2. All of the ventilation shafts are turned down, so all of the heat for the hot air, hot water, all that stuff has been turned luke warm, all of the cool has been turned to average, and all of the vents are now open. You’re not sure why. 3. A little pop-up comes up that’s like its own situational feed which you’re not used to seeing. One of the geometric shapes moves, you guys!

LAURA: (gasps)

NICK: A little pop-up comes up, and it says in Aurebesh “Biological Alert Detected,” and it is blinking right on top of you.

HUDSON: Um, Escape Key, Escape Key.

NICK: (laughs) You can Escape out of that, but through the tying of everything, it seems to be saying that you are a biological alert of some kind, or something near you is, and it seems to be in relation to everything it’s doing to this computer system, all of these weird support systems it’s hijacking and making do weird things.

HUDSON: Okay. so, I get on my coms and I check in on everybody. First I’ll check in on Xianna.

LAURA: “We are getting shot at~ Pew pew!”

STEVEN: You just hear blaster noises.

LAURA: (giggles) You hear ‘pew, pew!’ “Uh, we will be fine in a few minutes… hopefully.”

HUDSON: “I believe all the vents are open if you need that going on. I just did something… uh, something weird is going on. Basically, the vents are open, and you’re probably good as far as security cameras go too, so…”

LAURA: “I figured that. We are being shot at, though. I will get back to you.”

HUDSON: Alright. Then I check in on Karma.

STEVEN: (chuckles)

(start ballet music)

CAMERON: (sweetly) “Hey Tink. What’s up?”

NICK: Oh. It’s a holo-feed, and in the background you see Felton doing ballet leaps behind her on the screen, so he just comes onto the screen as a hologram and then off the screen again really quick. You hear him being like, ‘ah-le-oop! … (boof) Ow!’

HUDSON: “… So, uh, yeah. I just activated the Rancore Protocol, and uh, things are getting weird.”

(ballet music fades)

CAMERON: “Okay. what’s it doing?”

HUDSON: “Security cameras started flickering. The vents all cooled down and opened themselves inside of the facility. It said it detected a biological force, being myself, at the computer where I entered the protocol.”

CAMERON: “A biological force? Like, on you?”

HUDSON: “Yeah, like, I am the biological force.”

CAMERON: “But like no others, though?”

HUDSON: “Yes.”

CAMERON: “So, you have the thing, right?”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “In the to-go container?”

HUDSON: “Yeah.”

CAMERON: “Could it be that? Because if it’s not firing off any other—I’m assuming, well, we know at least that Sabos and Xianna are on the ship with you, and if it’s just highlighting you, it might actually be that since Sentinel sent that with us as well.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Interesting. I’m not gonna open it. I think what I’m gonna do is try to cause a little bit of a distraction to make sure that Sabos and Xianna can get out.”

CAMERON: “Makes sense. Yeah.”

HUDSON: “Uh, what’s the best kind of distraction on a ship like this?”


HUDSON: “A kersplosion.”

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: “Well, I mean, a—An explosion?”

HUDSON: “Explosion? Explosion! Sorry. I’m a little light headed. There are some fumes in the room. It’s like a weird fume.”

CAMERON: “Oh yeah. The larger starships like that can get like that sometimes, especially if you said all the vents opened up. It’s probably just coming up from one of the refreshers or something.”

HUDSON: “Oh yeah.”

CAMERON: “So, yeah. Explosions tend to be pretty effective on ships. If you’re at a computer terminal you could just start opening airlocks and stuff, too, or turning off the shields in the landing bays and stuff… If you’re at a computer terminal, you could cause some major havoc besides just blowing shit up.”

HUDSON: I start humming to myself, opening airlocks, turning off shields, causing some alarms to go off at areas very far away from me…

NICK: (laughs) Alright. Make me a Computers check to wreak general havoc.

HUDSON: Difficulty?

NICK: This one’s gonna be hard.

HUDSON: Ooh. That is a success, a threat, and a triumph.

CAMERON: Goodness gracious.

LAURA: So, that success is from the triumph.

HUDSON: Correct.

NICK: Okay. Man, those triumphs have bailed you out several times.

HUDSON: Yes they have.

NICK: Alright, so, the threat: You sign your name again. You have StarDestroyer1, ‘leet hacker,’ you leave that buried in the code somewhere. I think maybe, because this keeps happening, there’s some weird gap in the programming where if you do that it makes stuff a lot easier elsewhere but it does leave a trace that you’ve been there. The ship starts to shutter and jerk as you just start venting atmosphere out of certain places, and in space when you do that things start moving. The ship is starting to get kind of unstable. You hear some weird claxons going off, and Karma and Tink still have the com open, so Karma hears one pretty loud explosion and the com call ends as Tink gets really into it and starts typing on things.

CAMERON: I look up at the ship. Are there like TIE fighters floating out of the landing base? (laughs)

NICK: Are you in the low orbit already?


NICK: Okay. No, not yet.


NICK: You just see the ship. It’ll drift a few hundred meters one way, and then there will be a vent of gas, and part of the ship will flicker and it will jerk back the other way. All of the other star destroyers are doing that slow capital ship turn of like ‘what the hell…’ as this is starting to go on.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: We’re gonna jump back to Sabos and Xianna. It was an NPC slot. That’s gonna be the stormtroopers. They have been knocked off their feet, so they are going to have to spend their maneuver to try and get back up. It’s two private stormtroopers and one corporal stormtrooper. He has a little stripe on his shoulder. He looks more important.

The slightly more important stormtrooper says, “Get it together men. We have to stop these prisoners so that we can help with whatever’s going on with the ship.” They all turn to shoot at…

LAURA: I would like to say that they were all looking at Sabos and the captain, and that’s where I’m getting my blue die from.

NICK: Oh, you’re right.

CAMERON: Because he just stabbed him, or tried to stab him.

STEVEN: I start heckling them anyway about not being able to keep their ship together, and this is the shittiest prison I’ve ever been in.

NICK: Okay. When you start doing that, they go “Alright, we’ll shoot that one first,” and they shoot Sabos. It’s gonna be three greens against two purples, but they have a black die for unstable footing.

CAMERON: Nothing!

NICK: Great!

STEVEN: Complete wash? (laughs)

NICK: They shoot the wall real good. Yep. That’s all that happens. I’m going to flip a dark side point though, and the trash droid gets its wheel stuck back on enough that it goes (wailing noise), and just takes off down the hallway away from everybody as fast as it can. We get a shot of everybody shuttering around shooting at walls. It’s kind of like that scene in Inception with the rotating hallway, except if the camera was still and everybody was just like flapping around and having a good time, and the droid smacks into the wall next to the door with a loud thunk, winds back up, and then goes through the door and is gone. We’re gonna move to a PC slot.

LAURA: Xianna is going to shoot another one of the stormtroopers.

NICK: Okie-dokie. There is a difficulty involved with that.

LAURA: Yes there is. (laughter) I’m assuming it’s average.

NICK: Yep, you’re right. Yep, yep, yep.

LAURA: So that’s average, and I have a blue die from Sabos’s turn. That is one success, one advantage.

NICK: How much damage does that do?

LAURA: That does 7 damage.

NICK: Okay. One of the stormtroopers, not the corporal but one of the other stormtroopers, takes a blaster bolt to the chest and gets knocked off his feet. He seems out of the fight. You hear (muffled sounds of pain). That’s my attempt at a Wilhelm scream. Thanks everybody for coming. Have a great night.

STEVEN: Poor little stormtrooper.

NICK: Yeah. Then, we are to another NPC slot. The deck captain, seeing one of his troopers get dropped, is going to try to punch Sabos as hard as he can, also making sure to keep Sabos in between him and Xianna.

STEVEN: How does Melee Defense work?

NICK: It adds a black die. Do you have Melee Defense?

CAMERON: You don’t have any.

STEVEN: I just have Melee. I don’t know where Defense is… Oh, yeah, sorry. I don’t have that.

CAMERON: If you were using… like, some of the vibro-swords have Defense, if you were using them, because you can block with it, but you probably don’t have any Defense. You definitely don’t from your knife, anyway.

LAURA: Yeah, I don’t believe knives do. It’s mostly the large melee weapons.


NICK: Roll away, please.

CAMERON: It was a yellow and a green, right?

NICK: Yep. He’s doing fisticuffs. ‘Wot-wot.’

CAMERON: Two advantages.

NICK: Great. All he does is distract Sabos and set him up for a good shot. He tries to punch him, Sabos actually does a very competent block, but stands up straight and makes himself a bigger target. If he gets shot at again that might be bad. Moving on to Sabos. Whatcha gonna do?

STEVEN: Try to vibro-knife the dude.

LAURA: Can Sabos have a blue die because I had an advantage?

NICK: Sure. All the gunfire flying, everyone’s getting to be a bigger and bigger target. It’ll be against two purple.

STEVEN: I’m just gonna try to vibro-knife the big dude. Hey, some advantages, two advantages.

NICK: Goodness. Okay. This whole room is just full of blaster fire and punching and stabbing…

STEVEN: (laughs) I’ll give one of the advantages back to Xianna next time.

NICK: Alright. We’ll do that.

STEVEN: Oh. I have two. Can I act smaller now, not stand up straight?

NICK: Yeah, but it’s not gonna give you any sort of mechanical advantage, because your trash can’s gone.

STEVEN: No, that’s fine, as long as his advantage goes away.

NICK: Yes. You can absolutely crouch. Cool, so that’s that. We’re gonna jump away from this fight, and—

STEVEN: It’s a good fight. (laughs)

NICK: Oh yeah, it’s great. It’s going super good. Karma? Whatcha doing?

(resume ballet music)

CAMERON: We’re watching all of the ships slowly turn to look at the Vengeance, and Felton’s like doing pirouettes behind me. His grace has improved substantially since the holo-call with Tink. The practice is really doing good.

NICK: “You have reawakened in me… my love of dance! Thank you. … Whoop-whoa. (effort noises)” There you go. He’s just dancing around. That’s what’s happening on the ship?

CAMERON: Yup. I mean, I’m watching. I don’t want to approach yet. I’m here if anybody calls me.

(ballet music stops)

NICK: Cool. We’re gonna jump to Tink. The Rancore Protocol is still running. A couple of things have happened. Now that you’ve started playing with all the airlocks and things it has started highlighting airlocks, and you notice whenever you open those that the ship does crazier, weird spins and things, and is starting to destabilize. It’s like making suggestions. The other thing that you’ll notice is towards the middle of the ship, kind of high up, there’s a room that starts blinking red. You click on it, and it says “Ventilation Main Shaft.” It’s blinking on it. Then that little pop-up that you closed out jumps back up, and it says “Biological Alert,” and it’s blinking on you. Then it flips over to that ventilation shaft which starts blinking red, and it’s just going back and forth between the two. You also notice that there is a specific airlock that keeps blinking yellow that you haven’t hit yet.

HUDSON: Okay. oh, there’s an airlock that’s blinking yellow? Okay.

NICK: Yeah. Mm-hmm. It’s not one you’ve opened yet, but it looks like it’s, I don’t know, maybe half way to the detention level.

HUDSON: Ohh, interesting. Hmm… I go ahead and look around the room using Perception to see if there’s anything I can steal, like badges or uniforms or things like that.

NICK: Great. Go right ahead. Roll me a Perception. I think that would actually probably be Skulduggery, honestly, since you’re looking for stuff to loot.

HUDSON: Skulduggery? Okay. What difficulty?

NICK: Easy.

STEVEN: There’s no one there, and it smells like pee.

NICK: Yup. (laughs)

HUDSON: A success, and that’s it.

NICK: You find a swipe badge, well I guess it would be a code cylinder for this. It’s not a very high level one, but it is a technician one, so you’re gonna be able to get into some weird rooms with it, you’re just not sure what because it doesn’t say what kind of technician. You find no uniform, but someone left their little Imperial navy hat, you know the ones that look almost like a Burger King hat but aren’t, there’s one of those. It’s white and has the little Tech Core logo on the back and the Imperial logo on the front.

HUDSON: Okay. Real quick out of character, you said it was blinking?

NICK: Mm-hmm. On the display you were using to mess with the airlocks, certain ones were blinking and when you hit them they were more effective. Now there’s just one blinking.

HUDSON: There’s just one blinking, and it’s not opened…

NICK: Nope.

HUDSON: …between here and the detention center.

NICK: Yup.

HUDSON: I’m trying to figure out if that’s going to kill them or if that’s going to help them.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: Well, probably not.

HUDSON: That’s what I was thinking. Okay. so, I go back over, kind of just relax at this point, kind of playing the computer like a piano, and open up the airlock on the blinking yellow.

NICK: Oookay. Do you say anything, or do you just hit the button?

HUDSON: I’m just kind of humming to myself. Actually, right before I do that, can I actually hijack a droid and have it come over to me, like a fast one?

NICK: Mmm. You can try.

HUDSON: Yeah. I want to try to hijack a droid to come to me.

NICK: Okay. most of them aren’t wireless, but they do have an order system, so you could try to get one to come to you. Are you thinking like the little mouse droids?

HUDSON: Something that can hold a box.

NICK: Yeah, the mouse droid will do that.

HUDSON: It will? Oh, okay.

NICK: Yeah. Those are the things that look like the Pizza Hut logo on wheels.

STEVEN: That’s it, actually.



NICK: Go ahead and make me a hard Computers check.

HUDSON: A failure and an advantage.

NICK: We’ll say you can apply the advantage to something that’s probably about to happen. Most systems in Star Wars don’t connect to droids. The really longwinded EU explanation is before the movies started they actually were playing with big AI computers and stuff, and that went super bad and killed a bunch of people, so they use droids as small siloed AIs. They don’t usually connect directly to the computer systems. You’re just not able to find one that’s linked. There are some, which is why you looked, but they don’t really have any that are available for you.

HUDSON: Okay. in that case, after that fails I don’t try again.

NICK: Cool. So, do you open that airlock?

HUDSON: I open that airlock and just kind of lean back and wait.

NICK: Alright. I’m gonna spend your advantage for you if you don’t mind.


NICK: We’re gonna jump to Sabos and Xianna. a yellow light starts flashing for a second giving y’all a slight heads up before one of the walls slides open and starts venting atmosphere! I’m gonna need Athletics checks from the two of you.

STEVEN: Yeah, that’ll be fine.

LAURA: Oh boy. Can I do an Agility instead of Athletics?

NICK: Sure you can. You can cartwheel out of the way of this situation.

HUDSON: (laughs)

LAURA: Okay. Yeah.

STEVEN: What’s an Agility?

NICK: You can use Coordination instead of Athletics.

HUDSON: Acrobatics is not a thing, just Athletics.

NICK: Coordination is the Athletics.

STEVEN: Oh. Oh, I’ll use Coordination.

NICK: Okay. that’s fine.

LAURA: Difficulty?

NICK: We’re gonna say three purple, but you both get a blue die because you had a chance to get a head start.

STEVEN: I got a success and two threats.

NICK: Two threats, you say?


LAURA: Two failures, one advantage.

NICK: Okay. So, the stormtroopers, the deck captain, and Xianna get pulled towards this sudden opening into the vacuum of space. The stormtroopers go first. The last one to go is the one that was shot. He ragdolls into a wall with a sickening crunch and then gets pulled out into space. Xianna, you are able to grab nearby, you’re not sucked out, but you are in danger of being sucked out. Is there anybody you might want to talk to, or anything?

LAURA: Am I still IN the ship?

NICK: Yes, you are still in the ship, but you are very close.

LAURA: Yeah. I yell into the coms, “Tink! There is an airlock open! Please close it! Close it! Close it!”

HUDSON: “Huh… Oh! Oh, yes!” I close the airlock.

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

STEVEN: I don’t understand the problem.

CAMERON: You don’t hear the problem either.

STEVEN: No. No. I just see she’s floating out. I’m like, ‘what the hell.’

CAMERON: And she’s yelling for Tink.

NICK: Sabos, what you were able to do is you saw the flashing yellow light and went ‘that’s an airlock indicator,’ and jumped really quickly over to a wall and grab on. You had time to wrap your arm in something. You’re safe.

STEVEN: Can I offer her a head tail?

NICK: You are too far—


NICK: –and that’s gross.

HUDSON: So, Computer check?

NICK: No, you’re not gonna have to do that. Xianna, I am gonna need an Athletics check from you to hold on as the door starts to slide closed.

LAURA: Oh boy… (laughter) What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Average.

LAURA: I will flip a light side point.

CAMERON: To upgrade your one green to a yellow.

LAURA: I have a 1 in Brawn.


STEVEN: Oh, that didn’t do it.

LAURA: That is a failure and a threat.

NICK: You start to slide towards the vacuum of horrifying space and decompression. You probably have never been exposed to that before, but it’s not as cold as you expected, or maybe that’s just that you’re going numb. Then the airlock slams shut… on your toe, and it hurts real, real bad.

LAURA: (gasps, whines) Oh no!

STEVEN: (laughs)

NICK: You are able to pull your foot free, that jerk reaction, but your foot is bleeding really bad, you’re not sure how bad, and there is a hole in your boot. You are gonna take 3 strain for your hitting the wall and 2 wounds for getting your toe smashed by an airlock door.


NICK: It was that or die. So…

HUDSON: “Hey Xianna, what happened? Are you there?”

LAURA: (crying) “My favorite boots! I think I might’ve also lost a toe! Tink! What happened?!”


STEVEN: “I’m not Tink. I’m Sabos.”

LAURA: “I’m not talking to you Sabos, I’m talking to Tink.”


LAURA: “Tink. What the kriff happened?”

HUDSON: “I… I opened an airlock?”

LAURA: “Why would you open an airlock?!”

STEVEN: “Wait. Who opened an airlock?”

HUDSON: “I mean, it just felt right. It was blinking. You tap on things that are blinking. This is half of computers.”

LAURA: “No! Blinking is usually a warning of either, hey, keep this in mind, or hey, maybe don’t do this. (groans in pain)”

HUDSON: “Did you go to school to be a slicer?”

LAURA: “No. I really didn’t go to very much schooling.”

HUDSON: “So, you don’t have any weight of knowing what blinking means, so…”

LAURA: “No. Blinking is pretty universal.”

HUDSON: “You know what, we’ll just, it’s just a mulligan. We’re fine. Uh…”

STEVEN: (laughs)

LAURA: ‘You owe me new shoes! And a new toe!” (laughs)

HUDSON: “Uh… Gotta go!”


NICK: And on that, we’re gonna end the episode!

(all make dramatic noises)

NICK: –really cool. I like that.

(all make “pew pew” noises)

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.

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