Transcript: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front
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Episode 4- A Monkey On Your Front
The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.
We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to firstname.lastname@example.org
[00:00:18] – Nick
[background guitar music]
Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your gamemaster. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Additional music this week is Stjepan Major by Peglica i Komandos. Before we start I want to take a second to thank everyone for their 5star iTunes reviews. I’m talking to you Little Raley and you Scarbane. Special shout out to MiteyMights, directorspy. You’re a wonderful person. Leggd, go to Starbucks and tell them Tabletop Squadron says you deserve a macchiato. WesternShadow, thank you for your enthusiasm, and TheBrokenLegacy, may your dice ever roll triumphs. If you’re keeping count that’s seven reviews. We only need 3 more to unlock super secret art. It’s a lot of fun and we’ll post it all over social media. So if you like us head on over there and tell the iTunes community… maybe tell a friend. Once we hit this milestone we’ll come up with something else to bribe you into telling people about the show. So if you like content, review our show. Anyway onto the episode.
[00:01:40] – Nick
Hello and welcome to Episode 4 of Tabletop Squadron I’m your host and gamemaster, Nick. We’re gonna go around the table introduce yourselves and say who you are playing.
[00:01:50] – Laura
Hi I’m Laura and I play Xianna’fan.
[00:01:52] – Hudson
I’m Hudson and I play Tink.
[00:01:55] – Steven
I’m not Hudson. I’m actually Steven and I play Sabos Niks. [Nick: for real?]
[00:02:01] – Laura
I’m also not Steven. Wow.
[00:02:03] – Steven
[Cameron: you’re not Hudson either] I am Steven! [Hudson: woowww]
[00:02:05] – Laura
and I’m also not Hudson!
[00:02:06] – Steven
Yeah. Me neither. [Hudson: woowwww]
[00:02:07] – Laura
I’m definitely not Hudson
[00:02:09] – Steven
[00:02:09] – Cameron
Anyway, I’m Cameron [laughs] and I’m playing Karma
[00:02:12] – Laura
I am also Cameron though. [group laughter] I’m not Steven or Hudson, but I am also [Steven: i am in fact Cameron] Cameron.
[00:02:20] – Nick
And now let’s roll our destiny points. I got it right. Oh. [dice sounds]
[00:02:26] – Cameron
Good job. One dark side. bad job. [dice sounds]
[00:02:30] – Steven
Two light side. [Cameron: heeyyyyy] white side.
[00:02:33] – Laura
One dark side
[00:02:33] – Hudson
Two light side.
[00:02:38] – Laura
We did so well
[00:02:39] – Cameron
Four the light side, two dark side.
[00:02:42] – Nick
All right so when we last left off. You all had been given a rare moment of privacy and relaxation in your garden shed and-
[00:02:52] – Steven
[00:02:53] – Nick
Guest quarters and had been -um- bedding down for the evening. And we’ll- we’ll open it up there.
[00:02:59] – Laura
Xianna immediately sees that it’s two bunk beds and yells out top bunk! I call ze top bunk!
[00:03:06] – Steven
[00:03:07] – Laura
Zeee right side. yes
[00:03:09] – Cameron
[overlapping Laura] I just go and climb on the top bunk on the left.
[00:03:11] – Steven
[00:03:12] – Hudson
I take the bottom bunk. That’s what I wanted anyway
[00:03:14] – Steven
[overlapping Hudson] I take the bottom bunk ’cause it’s what’s left.
[00:03:17] – Hudson
I’m a bit heavy
[00:03:18] – Cameron
And so I look around and I notice that there are no cameras or recording equipment or anything in here.
[00:03:24] – Laura
Xianna [Nick: pass that check] would like poke her head upside down and look at Tink and be like Tink do you like being ze bottom? [group laughter] and is like smiling and just staring at him.
[00:03:37] – Hudson
I kind of crumple up my face and I don’t respond.
[00:03:40] – Laura
I like twist over and look at Sabos, and go Sabos! Do you like being ze bottom?
[00:03:45] – Steven
I am on the bottom.
[00:03:47] – Laura
Do you like being on ze bottom?
[00:03:50] – Steven
I mean I’d prefer the top but I’ll take bottom. [group laughter]
[00:03:54] – Laura
Xianna just keeps laughing and sits back up and is very proud of herself.
[00:03:59] – Hudson
Sounds like he’ll take whatever he can get.
[00:04:01] – Laura
She is very amused with this.
[00:04:03] – Cameron
So I’m- I’m sitting on the edge of the top bunk. I have my feet swinging very much in Sabos’s area. Not purposely trying to hit him but also since he’s on the bottom bunk there’s just not a lot of space there.
[00:04:16] – Steven
Not trying not to hit me either though.
[00:04:18] – Cameron
Not trying not- not trying to hit you but also not really caring if you choose to put your face in the way of my foot. [group laughter]
[00:04:27] – Steven
Oh [Cameron: yeah] cool.
[00:04:29] – Cameron
[00:04:31] – Steven
Nautolan. [Cameron laughs]
[00:04:33] – Laura
Again! What is with you two?
[00:04:37] – Cameron
I- He introduced himself as Togrutan so I’m going with it.
[00:04:40] – Steven
[00:04:42] – Cameron
Nope. You’re Togrutan. Why are you here?
[00:04:46] – Steven
-uh- Well I’m from a- a small outpost on -uh- you know, Osiron. Not the Togrutan homeworld. [Cameron: okay] [Laura: But- ] We want to -uh- you know we’re seeking to establish trade routes throughout the galaxy, we’re trying to be independent of the home world. [Cameron: -mhhmm-] First Togrutans to branch out and -uh- I was told that if I were to -uh- you know, help someone scratch their back they could scratch mine, if you will.
[00:05:13] – Cameron
That does nothing to explain to me why you’re here.
[00:05:16] – Laura
[overlapping Cameron] Yes, zat makes no sense.
[00:05:18] – Cameron
Who’s back where are you trying to scratch?
[00:05:20] – Steven
Oh you know the Corellian.
[00:05:21] – Cameron
[00:05:22] – Laura
[overlapping Cameron] the Corellian?
[00:05:23] – Steven
[00:05:23] – Cameron
Did this Corellian have a name or did you just see what [Steven: -uuuuh- Sako] they looked like and just want it -oh- So Sacko, -oh- so the one who was supposed to be with us.
[00:05:31] – Steven
Yes that’s right.
[00:05:33] – Cameron
[00:05:33] – Steven
I was told if I do some of his bidding he might help me establish some routes between -uh Osiron and -uh- Corellia.
[00:05:40] – Cameron
[00:05:40] – Steven
[00:05:41] – Cameron
so- so we’ve seen your vast expertise at astrogation [Steven: yes] and piloting.
[00:05:48] – Steven
[00:05:49] – Cameron
-umm- Do you have any actual skills?
[00:05:52] – Steven
Well I am an expert at astrogation and piloting. I like to think I’m a skilled negotiator.
[00:05:58] – Cameron
You like to think or you are?
[00:06:01] – Steven
I’m a good pilot aren’t I?
[00:06:02] – Cameron
[00:06:03] – Steven
I negotiate as well as I pilot.
[00:06:05] – Laura
[00:06:06] – Cameron
[00:06:06] – Steven
All I have- Okay okay.
[00:06:09] – Laura
You should not talk when–
[00:06:10] – Steven
[overlapping Laura] We didn’t hit the trees okay. That’s [Laura: that’s what we- did we not?] how my negotiating works.
[00:06:13] – Cameron
That was [Laura: we did] not you! That was me!
[00:06:17] – Steven
I astrogated that.
[00:06:18] – Cameron
Yeah, you astrogated to the trees.
[00:06:20] – Steven
That’s right. I wanted to test your skills. Why are you here?
[00:06:24] – Cameron
Because I was hired for bounty hunter job because I’m a bounty hunter. And I brought in my mark very quickly and efficiently.
[00:06:31] – Steven
So why are you still here?
[00:06:33] – Laura
[00:06:33] – Cameron
[overlapping Laura] Well I’m being paid for a job. [Steven: mhhm-] I don’t know if you are. Sacko might be being paid for this job.
[00:06:39] – Steven
Someone is getting paid.
[00:06:40] – Cameron
[00:06:41] – Laura
I do not zink zat someone is you zough.
[00:06:43] – Steven
I’m getting paid in trade routes.
[00:06:45] – Laura
So nooo. [Cameron: okay] Zat is not money
[00:06:50] – Steven
And in credits.
[00:06:51] – Laura
Zat is money. I do not zink you are getting zose credits zough.
[00:06:56] – Steven
[overlapping Laura] Credits aren’t as important on Osiron.
[00:06:58] – Laura
Is it a [Cameron whispers something. possibly: something’s getting at me] trade based society?
[00:07:02] – Steven
It’s- it’s more of a hunter gatherer society. So we’re trying to–
[00:07:06] – Cameron and Laura
[00:07:07] – Laura
[00:07:08] – Steven
Trying to make it into more of a modern…
[00:07:11] – Laura
So zen [Steven: sort, almost like the homeworld ] you want ze money..
[00:07:13] – Cameron
So you’d need, so-
[00:07:14] – Steven
[00:07:15] – Cameron
So, so, so wait. So you’re branching out from the homeworld to become a different group of Togrutans [Steven: No no no, we had just been there first] and are tryingto make it so that the current society more reflects the homeworld. So why [Steven: uh no. no] did you leave? That is what you said.
[00:07:33] – Steven
Well there’s a lot of group think that goes on in the Togrutan culture. -uh- Us on our colony aren’t as -uh- groupy.
[00:07:41] – Laura
Xianna like pops back down… like upside down and looks at Tink and goes zat is going nowhere and I do not zink he knows what he is talking about. What is your deal? You are big and furry.
[00:07:54] – Hudson
Now that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit, what do you- what do you want to know? What do you mean my-
[00:07:58] – Laura
like. Like.. what is [Steven: top or bottom?] your deal?
[00:08:02] – Hudson
Well as a child, or how far back? How far back do we need to go here?
[00:08:06] – Cameron
[laughing] I was born on a Tuesday.
[00:08:08] – Hudson
[00:08:08] – Laura
Just like a general…. what is your zing? Who do you like?
[00:08:12] – Hudson
[overlapping Laura] Well if you haven’t noticed my [Laura: what is-] thing is slicing. I’m wery very good at it. That’s why I got picked up for the job. One of the best in the land actually.
[00:08:20] – Laura
[00:08:20] – Hudson
[00:08:22] – Laura
[00:08:23] – Hudson
[00:08:23] – Laura
[00:08:25] – Hudson
Well -uh- I wasn’t, you know, I did learn computers in an empire run school -uh- one time but you can’t really trust the empire, I found out and so I ditched that and since then I’ve just been kind of learning on my own, making my own way.
[00:08:41] – Laura
Where is your ‘ome? You say imperial but I-
[00:08:44] – Hudson
So I was on Mandalore as a child but for the longest–
[00:08:49] – Laura
[overlapping Hudson] [whispers] you do not look Mandalorian.
[00:08:51] – Cameron
They normally don’t have quite as much hair.
[00:08:53] – Laura
Usually zey are just ‘umans.
[00:08:55] – Hudson
Well my parents were brought there as slaves. Thank you very much if you [Cameron: ohh] had to [Laura: oh] know. I’m from the original home of Gigor which is where my race is from but then they got sent to Mandalore as slaves before they were freed by Duchesse Satine. So there’s- there’s my story.
[00:09:15] – Laura
Cool! I was just curious-
[00:09:16] – Hudson
What’s your deal?
[00:09:16] – Steven
[00:09:17] – Laura
I steal zings. [Cameron laughs]
[00:09:20] – Hudson
[00:09:21] – Laura
I am versatile….Also, how open are you to a- a threesome with ze Zabrak? He seemed interested. I just want to make sure, you know, keep zings open and just incase. I do not zink we will have to but you know, on ze off chance zat zis will make zings easier or if zings get weird.
[00:09:43] – Cameron
Karma rolls over so that her head’s now hanging over the bed and just kind of like stares at Sabos uncomfortably.
[00:09:49] – Hudson
[00:09:50] – Cameron
And all my head tails just kind of fall around.
[00:09:52] – Steven
I like clear her tentacles and stare uncomfortably back.
[00:09:55] – Hudson
There was this one time back in college. Things just kind of got weird, I had a lot of wine and so I mean if- if things happen they happen is what I say. I- I try to go with the flow cautiously [Laura: okie] and I seem [Laura: just checking] to think that you know…
[00:10:12] – Laura
Again I do not zink it is going to ‘appen. You know, just checking all ze options.
[00:10:18] – Hudson
Well thank- thank you for your communication.
[00:10:20] – Laura
I mean… okie.
[00:10:22] – Steven
Seems like everyone is open to it here, so I think y’all are–
[00:10:25] – Cameron
[00:10:25] – Hudson
No one even asked you.
[00:10:27] – Laura
No one asked you Sabos. No one asked you.
[00:10:30] – Steven
I didn’t mean me, I’m- I’m-
[00:10:32] – Laura
[00:10:33] – Steven
I’m not in y’alls bunk.
[00:10:34] – Cameron
[00:10:35] – Laura
You are on zat side of ze room.
[00:10:36] – Cameron
So everyone– [Laura: zis side of ze-] so everyone refer to that bunk.
[00:10:38] – Laura
Zis is the cool bunk. You are ze not cool bunk.
[00:10:42] – Steven
I’m an ambasador.
[00:10:42] – Laura
No you’re not.
[00:10:44] – Steven
I’m too good for that.
[00:10:45] – Laura
I do not zink you are an official ambasador.
[00:10:47] – Steven
Look at my badge. I hold up the badge.
[00:10:50] – Laura
Does zat say Sakos?
[00:10:51] – Steven
No. This says Sabos. This is the Osiron official–
[00:10:55] – Laura
[overlapping Steven] which does it say?
[00:10:56] – Nick
So it says Sabos on it, describe your Osiron ambassador’s badge.
[00:11:01] – Steven
It has a picture of Osiron. So basically just a circle with an orange- an orange circle and it says Sabos Niks and a picture of me with my thumb up and under it it says Ambassador.
[00:11:18] – Laura
Zat looks fake
[00:11:19] – Steven
It’s laminated! [group laughter]
[00:11:22] – Laura
Zat looks more fake zen ze fake badges I make.
[00:11:24] – Steven
[overlapping Laura] as I said we don’t have many sources on Osiron.
[00:11:27] – Laura
Also, why is zere just an orange blob? Zat could be anyzing.
[00:11:31] – Steven
[00:11:32] – Laura
I mean again it could be anyzing… so it is fake!?
[00:11:36] – Steven
No this is the official ambassador badge of Osiron. I know because I am the official ambassador.
[00:11:43] – Laura
-Mmmmmm- [Cameron: okay] if you say so.
[00:11:45] – Steven
If you could make a better badge…
[00:11:47] – Laura
I mean maybe.
[00:11:48] – Steven
We- we Togrutans on Osiron might have need for your services.
[00:11:51] – Laura
I do not ‘ave a laminater machine with me.
[00:11:55] – Steven
Eh, we can work that out.
[00:11:56] – Nick
So as you continue to discuss for a few hours the camera pulls back. The sun is set You hear night life in the jungle and as the camera pulls away from the outpost you see patrols going around on the exterior and there’s a side wipe it goes -swwooop- across and then suddenly you’re zoomed back in on the outside of your guest quarters and it’s daytime, early morning.
[00:12:24] – Hudson
I yawn as I wake up.
[00:12:25] – Steven
I sit up ambasador-ly.
[00:12:27] – Nick
So there’s a brief shot of you all waking up and then another wipe. Maybe this one’s a star wipe we’ll just get ridiculous with it and you are all geared up and walking into the square in the middle of Outpost 4 and you see one of the off-road speeders that was on the expedition yesterday and Mills, the large guy with dark lanky hair and scars is throwing some crates of supplies into a trunk on the back. The speeder now that you get a closer look it hovers but also has like skids on the bottom for sudden changes like fallen tree trunks and underbrush and things and it looks like it sees 6 people it’s got 3 2-person benches and then a large crate strapped to the back that works as like a trunk and he’s putting stuff into that crate back there. Yeah. So as you walk up he waves at you and says Good morning.
[00:13:22] – Steven
Howdy [Cameron whispers: good morning] Mills
[00:13:22] – Laura
[00:13:24] – Hudson
[00:13:25] – Laura
Xianna’s not [Cameron whispers: Xianna doesn’t do mornings?] a morning person. She’s still kind of like half asleep and she’s probably like leaning against whoever is right next to her and then kind of doing like the jerk where like No, I’m – I am awake. I am awake.
[00:13:35] – Steven
Mills do we happen to know the description of the men we’re looking forward today?
[00:13:42] – Nick
Well there’s a couple of them. Their names are Lira and Williams. One of them’s a storm trooper and the other one’s a officer.
[00:13:53] – Cameron
Which one is the trooper?
[00:13:55] – Nick
[00:13:56] – Hudson
Are they in love?
[00:13:58] – Nick
I…. I don’t care. My job is to go get them.
[00:14:01] – Hudson
So you’ll be joining us?
[00:14:02] – Nick
Yeah I’ll be your guide. I guess. I was supposed to keep an eye on you. Falx presumably trusts you which makes no sense but the money is good. And this is a lot more comfortable than where we used to live with all those beasts about. So I’ll take you wherever you need to go but it’s going to probably be an hour or so before we -uh- we’re- we’re ready to leave the speeders still charging so if there’s anything you need to take care of before you go now would be the time.
[00:14:32] – Hudson
[Cameron mutters something] bathroom break
[00:14:33] – Nick
[00:14:34] – Hudson
[00:14:34] – Laura
Did you- We literally just left. Did you not go?
[00:14:39] – Hudson
Well- I have to go a lot when I first wake up. [group laughter]
[00:14:44] – Nick
Mill’s is like no no no not here not here in the square. There is a barracks bathroom over there.
[00:14:48] – Hudson
[00:14:49] – Steven
I turn around so I cannot be seen by Kaarma and clean my weapon and prepare it.
[00:14:54] – Laura
[00:14:55] – Nick
Eww [Cameron laughs]
[00:14:55] – Laura
why, why do you-
[00:14:56] – Steven
[overlapping Laura] I was giving Karma crap about cleaning the- the bug guts. [Nick: oh! you’re actual weapon] Yes.
[00:15:01] – Cameron
His actual weapon. And now you’re really [Steven: my blaster!] regretting not cleaning it yesterday.
[00:15:05] – Laura
why do you… you clean your weapon at night. Why would you do it right now?
[00:15:10] – Steven
I’m not getting my weapon dammit. I like run off.
[00:15:13] – Laura
[00:15:13] – Cameron
Karma turns as she hears Xianna say this.
[00:15:17] – Nick
So as they all kind of scatter Mills looks at Xianna and Karma who are still there and says well if I’ve got basic supplies but if you need anything specifically for the jungle there’s a quartermaster off the square over there and he points [Cameron: fabulous] across the square.
[00:15:32] – Laura
[00:15:33] – Cameron
[overlapping Laura] I’mma go that way.
[00:15:34] – Laura
I go that way as well.
[00:15:36] – Nick
Okey dokey. So you see the building that he pointed out across the way it looks like a very small shack on the other side of the square so most of these buildings are probably 2, 3… or like between 500 and a thousand square feet. So like general cabin size this one looks like an outhouse. And as you come up to it it’s a another like concrete building but it’s got one of the Star Wars doors on it so it’s swooshes open and you see that it actually leads to just a staircase going down. The quartermaster is actually stationed in a basement dug into the ground. So as you go down the stairs the walls are all dirt crisscrossed with dura-steel beams to keep the area stable and there is a steel cage that takes up about two thirds of this basement with a bunch of crates of supplies behind it and there is a board looking human behind a glass window. He’s bald with graying short cropped hair on the sides and eyes bug out of his face his belly presses against the desk in front of him. He makes eye contact with you but says nothing.
[00:16:38] – Cameron
Hey hun, do you have any vibroswords?
[00:16:42] – Nick
Yeahhh. What… who.. Do you have an order issuing you a vibrant sword? They don’t just give those out.
[00:16:50] – Cameron
No, I’m wanting to purchase one, we’re about to leave on an expedition for Falx.
[00:16:55] – Nick
Ahh- Shh- vibr- yeah. If you’re working for him I guess I can explain the inventory later, charge you, I don’t know, throw out a number. Normally I don’t have to do this. Uhhh- seven hundred and fifty credits? The exact going rate for a vibro sword.
[00:17:13] – Cameron
I was seeing if I had negotiation but I don’t yet. So.
[00:17:16] – Nick
[00:17:16] – Cameron
[00:17:17] – Nick
So you hand him some credits because Star Wars is super vague about what that looks like depending on what it is.
[00:17:23] – Cameron
[overlapping Nick] It’s like two and a half blocks of credits.
[00:17:26] – Nick
Yeah those weird-
[00:17:27] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] or maybe just one stick? I don’t know.
[00:17:29] – Nick
Gold bars but sometimes they’re flash drives. Yes. So you have a Vibert sword. It’s not super fancy. It’s got like a tape grip on it but it looks pretty much like fresh out of a box. Just think they bought the cheapest functioning one that they could.
[00:17:45] – Cameron
I go- I go through the ones that they have and like slash with them and stuff to get the one that has the best feel.
[00:17:52] – Nick
- They’re all identical but one of them feels like it was wrapped a little bit better.
[00:17:56] – Cameron
Cool. I take that one.
[00:17:57] – Nick
The guy behind the counter after you’ve asked for the third one is starting to look really annoyed. Look they’re all the same. Just take one. I don’t know [Cameron: the one-] what you’re doing.
[00:18:05] – Cameron
The one that he hands me that time I do a more flashy slash with and go a little bit closer to him than I had been doing so that he backs off.
[00:18:15] – Nick
Yeah he shuts up but also does not change his posture at all so-
[00:18:19] – Cameron
It’s fine I just want him to stop talking.
[00:18:20] – Laura
Xianna’s just gonna kind of smile and be like And do you have any grenades?
[00:18:26] – Nick
Is this a military outpost? Yeah. What do you want?
[00:18:30] – Laura
I know, but like do you just like give to me? I do not know ze rules ‘ere. I’m sorry.
[00:18:35] – Nick
Just. They cost money.
[00:18:37] – Laura
I know they cost the money.
[00:18:39] – Nick
[00:18:40] – Laura
But you seem to confused about how much it costs with her.
[00:18:42] – Nick
No I know things. I’m- I’m really good- I’m a good quartermaster. Yeah. We’ve got like all the grenades like half these boxes are probably grenades. That’s why we’re underground. It’s not like I could die or whatever.
[00:18:55] – Hudson
I’d like two grenades please.
[00:18:56] – Nick
Oh how- are you there now?
[00:18:58] – Cameron
Tink [Hudson: yeah!] says walking in from the bathroom.
[00:18:59] – Nick
[00:19:00] – Hudson
Yeah I’m done.
[00:19:02] – Nick
You’re- great. Some weird albino wookiee.
[00:19:07] – Hudson
Woooah! [Laura: excuse me!] I’ll take three grenades.
[00:19:10] – Nick
I don’t know how much grenades cost. How much do grendades cost?
[00:19:12] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] -uuhhhh- So I have knockout grenade listed as 120 but that’s not a regular grenade.
[00:19:18] – Nick
We’ll just do 120, that’s [Laura: okay] fine. so it’s 120 a pop. I’m sure they all cost slightly different but I don’t feel like looking it up so either I’m giving you a good deal or I’m ripping you off. I’m not sure but yeah you could. Do you want just like explode grenades?
[00:19:33] – Laura
I want ze exploding grenades
[00:19:35] – Hudson
[00:19:36] – Nick
Okay Wookiee guy. Here’s 3. He slides them, you give him money.
[00:19:41] – Laura
I want two please.
[00:19:43] – Nick
Okay here’s two. It’s fine. Wherever. Maybe I’ll even make sure the empire gets this money back. Doesn’t matter.
[00:19:50] – Steven
While they do that I finally finished cleaning my weapon, go to Mills, ask where everyone is and then join them in the…
[00:19:57] – Nick
So Mills looks [Steven: outpost] up from, he’s got a panel on the speeder open and a datapad plugged into it and he’s running some diagnostics and he looks up why you’re- not with everybody else. What are you even- they’re that way. Go to the outhouse looking building. We’re leaving in like 20 minutes. I hope you get your stuff together.
[00:20:16] – Steven
[00:20:17] – Nick
Okay. And then it cuts back to you walking down the stairs. So grenades and a sword. I’m sure you’re definitely going to want to use a sword against a Kersten’s beast. Yeah that’s a great idea.
[00:20:31] – Steven
Oooh I’ll have one of those swords.
[00:20:33] – Nick
You want a sword?
[00:20:34] – Steven
What did she get? I point to Karma.
[00:20:37] – Cameron
I slash the sword threateningly at him.
[00:20:39] – Steven
[00:20:41] – Nick
Sure, 750 credits and you-
[overlapping Steven] Oooo That’s pretty steep.
[00:20:46] – Nick
Yeah it is.
[00:20:46] – Cameron
The [Steven: I-] going rate for [Steven: I-] a vibrosword.
[00:20:48] – Steven
I could negotiate here so I mean actually try to negotiate with them.
[00:20:51] – Nick
[00:20:51] – Steven
I’d like just a better price. I’m kind of aiming for 500 but if he wants to do better.
[00:20:58] – Nick
You’re aiming for 500? Okay
[00:20:59] – Steven
[overlapping Nick] Yeah, I want just a better price
[00:21:01] – Hudson
Get triple triumphs and you gotta [becomes too quiet to hear]
[00:21:02] – Nick
Okay roll your negotiation against his negotiation which is-
[00:21:06] – Steven
[00:21:07] – Nick
-a red and two purples.
[00:21:09] – Steven
[00:21:11] – Nick
and also you can have a black die because they’ve been irritating him this whole time.
[00:21:14] – Steven
No I’ll just not do that if that’s cool with you.
[00:21:17] – Nick
Is that one of your talents?
[00:21:18] – Steven
[00:21:18] – Laura
No, he flipped a-
[00:21:19] – Cameron
He flipped a lightside point Nick: Oooh] to not have to.
[00:21:21] – Nick
So you… that’s not what that does. You can upgrade [Steven: oh!] one of your greens to a yellow.
[00:21:25] – Steven
[overlapping Nick] Oh, well, never mind, we’ll- we can just put that back and I’ll see what my talents are. Let’s see. Street smarts or knowledge? That’s not that. Well fuck it. [dice sounds]
[00:21:34] – Nick
[00:21:35] – Steven
Black die. [dice sounds continue]
[00:21:37] – Nick
So if you flipped one it’ll give you- it’ll upgrade one of your greens to a yellow.
[00:21:41] – Steven
[00:21:41] – Nick
Or add a green if you have all yellows. [dice sounds continue to continue]
[00:21:45] – Steven
[00:21:45] – Laura
He’ll be fine.
[00:21:46] – Nick
Okay. [dice sounds finally end]
[00:21:50] – Steven
[00:21:51] – Cameron
[00:21:53] – Nick
[00:21:53] – Steven
That would be a fuck ton of, well-
[00:21:55] – Cameron
[00:21:56] – Steven
Two threats. Yep.
[00:21:57] – Nick
[00:21:58] – Steven
And nothing else that really happens.
[00:22:00] – Nick
Look, so I report to the Empire. I don’t have to do anything for you all.
[00:22:05] – Steven
Oh I understand. I’m not an imperial.
[00:22:07] – Nick
It’s time for you to stop talking now buddy. You can give me a thousand credits for this vibrosword or you can all get out.
[00:22:15] – Steven
750 sounds great.
[00:22:16] – Nick
[00:22:16] – Laura
[00:22:17] – Nick
[00:22:18] – Steven
[00:22:20] – Laura
Sabos… stop it. Has he given the rest of us our stuff already?
[00:22:25] – Nick
Yeah you guys already have your stuff.
[00:22:26] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] OK like Xianna has definitely already put the grenades like into her magical pockets and is like kind of backing up and like with Karma and Tink, being like [in a sing-song manner] we should goooo. We should go right now! Let’s go!
[00:22:41] – Cameron
I sheath my sword with a flourish and just turn in a swing of headtails and walk back up the stairs.
[00:22:48] – Steven
[00:22:48] – Nick
So it’s just him and Sabos left.
[00:22:51] – Steven
So a thousand’s not going to work. [group laughter]
[00:22:55] – Nick
You know it’s kind of weird that she didn’t have a sword. Right? He says pointing at Karma as she leaves, because like she’s obviously good with one but she didn’t have one. Are you good with a sword?
[00:23:07] – Steven
[00:23:08] – Nick
Okay so why won’t a thousand work? You broke?
[00:23:12] – Steven
[00:23:12] – Nick
You smugglers never have any actual money which is weird because you work in expensive stuff.
[00:23:16] – Steven
It’s a long trip out to Osiron.
[00:23:21] – Nick
Hmm. You got anything worth trading?
[00:23:23] – Steven
That’s a curious question. -Uhhhh- Unless you’re interested in macro binoculars I’m not entirely sure I got much for you.
[00:23:34] – Nick
How much money do you have?
[00:23:35] – Steven
[00:23:39] – Nick
Well I noticed you’ve got an extra head tail. I’ll take that.
[00:23:43] – Steven
Not sure I’m willing to part with my extra head tail.
[00:23:47] – Nick
That’s pretty inconvenient for you -huh-.
[00:23:50] – Steven
It certainly can be.
[00:23:52] – Nick
It’s weird having someone come into your personal space and immediately say that what is a part of you is not worth what you ask for isn’t it?
[00:24:00] – Steven
Is a vibrosword a part of you?
[00:24:02] – Nick
This is my inventory. I am the quartermaster.
[00:24:06] – Steven
Do you have any smaller cutting items like -[too muttered to hear].
[00:24:11] – Nick
I’ve got a vibroknife, give to you for 200 and your macro binoculars.
[00:24:17] – Steven
Well how about 250 and not the macro binoculars?
[00:24:21] – Nick
Yeah okay. I was just trying to be mean at this point but I want you to leave my thing now.
[00:24:25] – Steven
I’m cool with a knife.
[00:24:26] – Nick
[00:24:26] – Steven
[00:24:27] – Nick
You can have a vibroknife. I’m pretty sure I overcharged you like crazy for that but whatever.
[00:24:32] – Steven
[00:24:33] – Cameron
Ehh- they’re not cheap.
[00:24:34] – Nick
Yeah well or undercharge, this guy just wants him to go away. So you have a vibroknife.
[00:24:39] – Steven
Just tried to negotiate.
[00:24:40] – Nick
The stats are in the book.
[00:24:41] – Cameron
[whispers] stats are right here.
[00:24:43] – Steven
Oh of course.
[00:24:46] – Nick
And we’ll do that of a scene transition where they shake hands over the vibroknife and the credits and it zooms in on their hands and then zooms out and everybody is in the speeder driving through the jungle. So OK so you’re in this speeder- Is- did anybody volunteer to drive?
[00:25:04] – Steven
Oh- I- yeah.
[00:25:05] – Hudson
I should drive. Wait, is there only one speeder for all of us?
[00:25:08] – Nick
Yeah. It’s like a six seater.
[00:25:10] – Steven
Oh yeah I’m going to drive.
[00:25:10] – Laura
Xianna would’ve immediately called for a center seat. She wants a middle seat.
[00:25:16] – Hudson
[00:25:16] – Cameron
[overlapping Hudson] are they, I thought it was three rows of two seats.
[00:25:19] – Laura
Ohhh [Steven: I have piloting planetary] I heard two rows of three seats. Which one is it?
[00:25:22] – Nick
I- it’s- it’s three [Cameron: i think-] rows of two seats.
[00:25:26] – Laura
[00:25:27] – Steven
Okay.I- I’m just really confident in my abilities.
[00:25:31] – Hudson
-um- I’m going to take this one after the whole tree incident. So I pilot.
[00:25:36] – Steven
I do not concede.
[00:25:39] – Hudson
We roll chance cubes to settle this.
[00:25:41] – Nick
[00:25:42] – Laura
Xianna takes [Cameron: alright, well-] both of the backseats.
[00:25:44] – Cameron
[overlapping Laura] Roll- roll a force die.
[overlapping Cameron] Do you need to borrow mine?
[00:25:46] – Cameron
If it’s a light side then Tink drives. If it’s a dark side…
[00:25:51] – Steven
All right let’s do it. [dice sounds] Damn!
[00:25:54] – Cameron
[00:25:55] – Hudson
Tink drives, light side!
[00:25:56] – Nick
and you owe him five credits! [group laughter] No. it’s just one side, I thought it was two light side. It’s like. Okay so yeah you pull out chance cubes immediately with a glint in your eye.
[00:26:06] – Hudson
[00:26:06] – Nick
and win the role. So you’re driving, Mills [Steven: I sit in the passenger seat] in the seat next to you.
[00:26:10] – Steven
No. No he’s not.
[00:26:13] – Nick
So we flashback to a scene of Mills getting into the passenger seat and you laying a hand on his chest like excuse me.
[00:26:19] – Steven
[00:26:21] – Nick
Okay. [Cameron laughs] He’s like fine, we’ll roll of chance cube. I’m a gambler. Roll it.
[00:26:26] – Steven
Light I sit there?
[00:26:27] – Nick
Yeah. [dice sounds]
[00:26:29] – Steven
Damn it! [Cameron: dark side!] [group laughs] [Hudson mumbles something] I get in the back seat.
[00:26:32] – Nick
Mills is like fine gamble, it’s fine. It- I’m just supposed to kind of help you guys figure out where to go. No big deal. And you- you say well chance cubes and without even turning from the driver’s seat TinK holds up a cube you snatch it out his hand you roll it and you immediately lose. And Mills goes see? and so he’s in the second seat or in the passenger seat. In the second row. There is actually one other person. It is a imperial officer. He looks to be pretty young like fresh, pretty nervous. He introduced himself as Spark Deulsen. So the camera zooms around you’re all wearing like the helicopter earphones with the microphones. And he’s like oh boy I sure am glad we’re out here in the jungle.
[00:27:14] – Laura
Wait. How old is he?
[00:27:16] – Nick
Like 20 ish.
[00:27:17] – Laura
[00:27:18] – Cameron
Xianna 100- [Nick: a young 20] Xianna 100 percent’s sitting next to him.
[00:27:21] – Nick
[overlapping Cam] I don’t know why I did the Morty voice, okay?
[00:27:22] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] Xianna got into the back seat at first and her plan was to spread out and then she realized there was someone sitting there-
[00:27:29] – Cameron
Karma was climbing into the middle seat saw him and was like No. And got back down and then just stood next to Xianna [Laura: No, no, no] until Xianna got out.
[00:27:36] – Laura
Xianna is in the back seat but she’s in the back seat right behind him and is doing the like elbows on the back of his chair like leaning forward, be like Soooo
[00:27:49] – Nick
yeah. Which is funny too because you’re all connected with microphones so there’s no reason to do that. Oh wow that’s sure is exciting. I’m sure excited to go out on this mission. [Cameron, whispers: so I get back in the jeep]Oh jeez. Spark Deulsen. He’s a petty officer and in– I specialize in communications.
[00:28:10] – Steven
[00:28:11] – Nick
[00:28:11] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] Oh, zat is fascinating. Tell me more!
[00:28:14] – Nick
-Uh- And he blushes, says well, the funny thing is hyperspace communication. You think the higher frequency and the camera pans out but he keeps talking for quite a while.
[00:28:26] – Laura
No like straight up can I make a charm roll to see if he can just like keep talking and maybe accidentally say something he shouldn’t?
[00:28:32] – Nick
Sure. What a great idea.
[00:28:35] – Laura
What would the difficulty be?
[00:28:36] – Nick
Easy. Because he’s a turd. But two black die because you are driving fast. And also he doesn’t know a whole lot.
[00:28:45] – Laura
So then- how many?
[00:28:45] – Nick
Two black die. One because you’re on a speeder and the other because he doesn’t know that much useful stuff anyway. [dice sounds]
[00:28:54] – Laura
[00:28:55] – Nick
Huh yeah. Well you’d think the higher frequencies would be more important but actually the low frequencies are more important especially when we’re bypassing imperial code to try to get our smuggling equipment out. Oops. [group laughter]
[00:29:12] – Laura
-uhh- Where’s Tink sitting?
[00:29:13] – Cameron
[00:29:14] – Laura
Oh Tinks’s driving, so never mind but she does kind of like look over at Karma and wink and then go Oh. What? Why would you say oops? I did not hear anyzing. I am just so interested in what you are saying.
[00:29:27] – Nick
That’s good because if I let- let loose that the lower frequencies make it easier to bypass imperial codes so we could set our smugly equipment that would be really bad. Oops.
[00:29:41] – Laura
I do not understand.It is okay.
[00:29:43] – Nick
maybe it’s like a nervous tick I just say oops sometimes I’m sure it won’t come up everything’s fine.
[00:29:48] – Laura
It is so cute. do not mind.
[00:29:51] – Nick
Aww you think I’m cute? He like clams up and blushes. He’s-
[00:29:54] – Cameron
Karma scoots over towards the wall a little bit more in their seat.
[00:30:01] – Nick
[00:30:01] – Cameron
She’s- she’s feeling awkward because he’s the same age as her sons. And she’s like ahhhh I don’t want to think about my kids doing this. I do not want my kids to meet Xianna.
[00:30:14] – Laura
Yeah Xianna’s- I mean Xianna’s like twenty three or twenty four.
[00:30:18] – Cameron
Yeah but you [Laura: so it’s not-] seem like real dangerous.
[00:30:22] – Laura
Oh yeah it is not good.
[00:30:26] – Nick
You drive your speeder for about an hour into the jungle and you come to a clearing and there’s some obvious blaster marks on some of the surrounding trees and some- like a fight has happened here and Mills signals for Tink to slow down and stop.
[00:30:43] – Hudson
I slow down and stop.
[00:30:44] – Nick
Great. Mills hops out with a -huuhh- action man noises and he’s carrying his stripped down blaster, he says this is where we lost track of the original party. We found two of them but three of them are still missing. Besides the deserters.
[00:30:58] – Hudson
Were the two found dead or alive?
[00:31:00] – Nick
They were pretty dead but I can’t tell if they got shot first or chewed on by some of the local flora and fauna first by the way some of the plants also eat because I said flora and fauna.
[00:31:11] – Cameron
[whispers] Yeah the flora kinda of freaked me out. [Steven and Hudson murmur in the background]
[00:31:11] – Laura
Zat is… concerning.
[00:31:15] – Nick
As he says that you hear this weird creaking noise from a tree. He goes not today. He shoots it twice and the tree goes still. That’s right. That’s where these scars are from and he points to some big long ones on his chest.
[00:31:29] – Laura
A tree? [Cameron: wow] Really? Okie, yes.
[00:31:32] – Cameron
Don’t touch trees.
[00:31:33] – Laura
Do [Nick: basically-] not touch ze trees.
[00:31:34] – Nick
If it bleeds you can kill it but it can also kill you. And everything on this planet bleeds.
[00:31:39] – Laura
Okay I was just about ask if ze [Cameron: so we’re-] trees bleed.
[00:31:41] – Cameron
So we’re shooting all the plants?
[00:31:44] – Nick
You don’t- except for the ones you don’t want to make angry. That tree had it coming.
[00:31:49] – Laura
I’m going to stand in ze middle.
[00:31:52] – Nick
So this is why I’m along. I was born and raised here on Unroola Dawn.
[00:31:56] – Cameron
I am finding myself more and more greatful that you’re here Mills.
[00:32:01] – Nick
Me too. He looks confused for a second and then goes back to surveying the scenery. Well you’re on this mission to try and find these deserters so get to finding. And he sets up like a cover position on a tree stump and starts scanning the edges of the perimeter.
[00:32:18] – Laura
[overlapping Laura] I do a perception check [Laura: yeah].
[00:32:21] – Nick
Perception checks would be good. Survival [Laura: Perception checks?] would be [Steven: i was going to roll- ]better overall
[00:32:24] – Steven
[00:32:25] – Cameron
Okay. [Whispers] you roll a survival [Laura: I don’t have survival]
[00:32:26] – Steven
[Whispers] How hard is it to survival?
[00:32:27] – Laura
I can roll survival though
[00:32:28] – Hudson
I’m doing perception.
[00:32:30] – Steven
How hard is the survival mister master?
[00:32:34] – Laura
I’ll do perception
[00:32:34] – Nick
[00:32:36] – Laura
It’s not dark or anything, is it?
[00:32:38] – Nick
[00:32:38] – Laura
[00:32:39] – Nick
there’s a lot of undergrowth but perception will be hard. [Dice sounds] Survival will be average. So that’s three purples.
[00:32:46] – Hudson
So three successes, two threats [dice sounds]
[00:32:47] – Steven
That’s two successes and a threat
[00:32:51] – Laura
[00:32:51] – Cameron
That was a survival, yeah?
[00:32:55] – Steven
[00:32:55] – Laura
[00:32:57] – Cameron
Alright here comes my perception roll. [dice sounds]
[00:33:00] – Laura
Okay so I [Cameron: he got a ?-hard to hear-?] rolled a perception and it’s definitely a Cam-roll. It’s a triumph with the success cancelled out and a threat.
[00:33:10] – Nick
- [Dice sounds]
[00:33:13] – Cameron
[00:33:13] – Hudson
Then I have-
[00:33:13] – Nick
[overlapping Hudson] any threats or anything?
[00:33:15] – Cameron
Nope, just failures.
[00:33:15] – Nick
Total wash- or just failures
[00:33:17] – Hudson
I had two successes and two threats.
[00:33:20] – Nick
Okay so with the successful survival check by Sabos you find a trail through some- they look like palms except when you look on the underside there’s a bunch of teeth hanging down but they’re kind of bent back and broken and there’s a tree with a blaster mark in it that doesn’t look like a ricochet it looks like someone shot this tree and you see a little trail of like footsteps with a little bit of blood leading off at about a 45 degree angle to the left like more west than the way you were driving but still the same general direction you guys were going. With the successful perception check Tink you see the same thing. [guitar music in background] So you and Sabos are standing on the edge of the clearing. Pointing like “ok yeah I see this” and he’s able to chime in with his survival skills of “you can tell from here that they were hurt because they’re bleeding”
[00:34:08] – Cameron
[00:34:10] – Nick
And then [Hudson: didn’t pick up on that]
[00:34:11] – Laura
[00:34:13] – Nick
-all of those threats kick in right about now. And you hear a horrific screeching noise and a bunch of what looked like monkeys drop out of the trees straight down onto you. You look at about four of them and what they look like is capuchin monkeys but with no legs or arms or tails. And on that- where their tail would be is a like a hooked kind of crab claw looking thing and on their tummies are whole bunches of like millipedes legs. But you don’t get to see a very good look at that because they’re dropping towards your faces. And this is where Xianna’s triumph kicks in that she happens to be looking up because she’s looking around it’s like I don’t see shit and-
[00:34:53] – Laura
that is not why I’m here. I am here to steal things, the bounty hunter and survivalist person can look at trees.
[00:35:00] – Nick
Yeah. And so you’re looking up tapping your foot and you see these things drop out of the sky. So you get a shot before a vigilance roll.
[00:35:06] – Laura
Oh shit yeah I’m gonna pull out my gun and shoot them. I also my gun has quickdraw in it so
[00:35:15] – Nick
Nice, the gun has quick draw?
[00:35:16] – Laura
Filed frontsight gives you the innate talent of quickdraw but it does increase the difficulty of checks beyond short.
[00:35:25] – Nick
[00:35:26] – Laura
[00:35:27] – Nick
[00:35:28] – Laura
Their medium? okay. So that’s an-
[00:35:29] – Nick
[00:35:30] – Laura
[00:35:31] – Nick
It doesn’t upgrade it increases? So would that make it a hard shot?
[00:35:34] – Laura
Increases difficulty of checks beyond short range by 1.
[00:35:38] – Nick
So you get a shot off while they’re still at range and then you also get to roll initiative so you might get another shot off before they actually land.
[00:35:45] – Laura
And I shoot.
[00:35:45] – Hudson
So is our first battle going to be four monkeys?
[00:35:47] – Nick
[00:35:49] – Hudson
[00:35:50] – Nick
Hey man don’t- don’t shit all over my encounters.
[00:35:53] – Hudson
No! I’m saying it’s great.
[00:35:53] – Steven
[overlapping Hudson] and they’re pretty tasty.
[00:35:55] – Nick
[00:35:58] – Laura
[Whispers]now hold on. [Regular volume] So that goes away. And then- So one failure three advantages.
[00:36:04] – Nick
Okay so you miss. How would you like to spend those advantages? You can give people blue die. You can change the environment.
[00:36:13] – Laura
I’m gonna give whoever shoots next an advantage or a blue die just by the fact that me shooting them let’s everyone know where they are.
[00:36:23] – Nick
Yeah I think that’s fair.
[00:36:26] – Cameron
[whispers] and you say oh shit!
[00:36:27] – Laura
I do yell like oh shit!
[00:36:29] – Nick
So I need you all to roll vigilance for me please.
[00:36:34] – Steven
Oh wonderful. [dice sounds] [muttering]
[00:36:40] – Cameron
Two advantages for karma.
[00:36:41] – Hudson
[00:36:42] – Laura
Two successes and one advantage.
[00:36:45] – Steven
[00:36:47] – Nick
Wow ya’ll are really bad. Could you roll me a yellow and a green for Mills please?
[00:36:53] – Cameron
A triumph and a succ- two success and a triumph.
[00:36:56] – Nick
Okay so Mills is going to go first.
[00:36:59] – Steven
Triumphs don’t include successes
[00:36:59] – Cameron
Yes they do. A triumph includes [Steven: They do?] a success
[00:37:04] – Steven
Oh but not an advantage?
[00:37:05] – Cameron
Not an advantage.
[00:37:05] – Steven
[00:37:06] – Cameron
Cause a Triumph is the better advantage.
[00:37:08] – Steven
[00:37:10] – Cameron
[00:37:10] – Nick
If you could go ahead and roll me… his shooting is two greens and a yellow. [dice sounds] And it’s an average check but he gets a blue die for reasons. [dice sounds]
[00:37:24] – Cameron
that is…. 5 advantages. [Multiple speakers: OOhh]
[00:37:30] – Hudson
Was that blue die from Laura or for other reasons?
[00:37:32] – Nick
No. the blue- [Cameron: other reasons] I didn’t take the blue die. The blue guy so he hears oh shit and immediately action rolls and lands in the middle and points up and starts shooting, sees that he’s not going to be able to move his arms fast enough but he’s so comfortable with the jungle and having been raised there his whole life, he immediately shoots down in a circle around him and you realize his blaster is a fully automatic modified rifle and so he shoots -chhh-chh-chh-chh- and it sprays a whole bunch of dead leaves and stuff into the air and makes like a weird smokey screen thing where anything that might be trying to land on you wouldn’t be able to see as well. So he’s going to spend all of his advantages that the first round any attack that they do is going to have a black die and there’s four of them and four of y’all. So that’s pretty good. So that was Mills, being awesome and he spits to the side and says I hate bug monkeys.
[00:38:25] – Cameron
Oh, these are the cute things? Whattt?
[00:38:28] – Laura
Zese are not cute.
[00:38:28] – Nick
And it’s the next person’s turn.
[00:38:32] – Laura
I had two successes and an advantage. Karma should use that first PC slot.
[00:38:37] – Nick
OK so one PC slot.
[00:38:40] – Cameron
Are they still at medium?
[00:38:41] – Nick
Uh, by now they’re at short range.
[00:38:43] – Cameron
[00:38:43] – Nick
So they’re probably like 5 or 6 feet above your head at this point.
[00:38:47] – Cameron
I’mma shoot them.
[00:38:47] – Laura
Shoot ’em real good.
[00:38:49] – Nick
[00:38:50] – Cameron
With my blaster. I’m going take the blue die.
[00:38:51] – Laura
[00:38:53] – Cameron
From Xianna [dice sounds]
[00:38:53] – Nick
Do you want to aim? Could use a maneuver to aim.
[00:38:56] – Cameron
[overlapping Nick] Oh hey- I’ll use a maneuver to aim.
[00:38:57] – Nick
What a great idea! [Cameron: another blue die] Let’s use the game.
[00:39:01] – Cameron
[dice sounds] Oh right, we’re plaing a game. Two successes two advantages.
[00:39:06] – Nick
Okay how much damage is that?
[00:39:09] – Cameron
So that is 11 damage. I want to- so I shoot one of the bug monkeys. 11 damage. For my advantages I want to shoot that monkey into one of its friends to knock it off course so it doesn’t land on someone.
[00:39:25] – Nick
OK it will have a black die on it’s attack [Cameron: yeah] but it’s because it’s corpse fell into it. So the bolt- you’re using military grade hardware here so it basically turns into a donut of a bug monkey and the shrapnel spins into another one and you heara -eeep-. And then it continues to fall in bullet time and looks like it’s 4 now 3 times NPC slots. So the first one is going to fall directly onto Sabos’s face and I need- Do you have defense of any kind.
[00:39:58] – Steven
[00:39:59] – Nick
All right. Can you roll me an average difficulty two green die?
[00:40:05] – Steven
[00:40:06] – Nick
With a black die because it can’t see very good [Dice sounds]
[00:40:11] – Cameron
A failure and 3 advantages.
[00:40:13] – Nick
Okay it will give the advantage- it’ll use the advantages they have some sort of weird sonar thing going on. So it misses but it begins chittering to one of its friends who is also landing right now on Tink’s face. Tink, do you have any defense or anything?
[00:40:28] – Hudson
Mine shows blank so I don’t think so. I don’t know if I ever calculated-
[00:40:32] – Laura
You don’t. No because you have no armor or anything.
[00:40:35] – Nick
Okay so the same thing but with a black die but also a blue die. [dice sounds]
[00:40:43] – Cameron
Failure, three advantages.
[00:40:45] – Nick
Okay well it’s going to use those three advantages to super boost the last one that is falling straight for Xianna. It’s the one that she missed the first time. And it’s also the one that got hit with the shrapnel, so it’s black die but two blue die.
[00:41:01] – Cameron
Okay [dice sounds] four failures and an advantage.
[00:41:08] – Nick
Wow these things suck.
[00:41:10] – Cameron
I roll so well. This is great.
[00:41:13] – Nick
Next time Hudson’s rolling for the bad guys.
[00:41:14] – Laura
Xianna is also yelling like no not my face!
[00:41:18] – Nick
So it comes flying down. The advantage is that you flinch away because these things are kind of gross looking. You flinch away, it lands to the ground but you’re kind of off balance for if you try to shoot it so you’ll have a black die on your next attack. But it looks up at you and bares its teeth and hisses -hisssss- and it has those same giant red bug eyes where you would expect cute little monkey eyes to be.
[00:41:41] – Laura
[00:41:41] – Nick
And it’s tail has that like lobster claw thing on and in a click Satchu a little bit. And now there are 3 more PC slots. So who would like to go next. These things are now on the ground. One bounced off her Sabos without really doing much one bounced off a Tink and the other one just went -eehhheeee- -bomp- also threw away from the Xianna. Okay so Sabos is going to try and shoot one of these things.
[00:42:06] – Steven
[00:42:07] – Nick
Does the full rifle have any negatives for close range? So this thing is engaged with you because it well- not engaged [Cameron and Laura: awwwwwww] like you’re going to get married.
[00:42:16] – Laura
Tell us- how did it propose?
[00:42:18] – Steven
It did. It dropped out of the sky on my face.
[00:42:20] – Laura
Aww. It dropped down on one knee and presented a ring.
[00:42:24] – Nick
So it is-
[00:42:25] – Cameron
[00:42:26] – Laura
With a beautiful jewel of Yavin on it.
[00:42:28] – Nick
It is at Engaged range and that means because you have your big giant rifle that it is plus two difficulties. So instead of an easy check it’s a hard check.
[00:42:38] – Steven
[00:42:38] – Nick
Yeah. Shoot that thing or you could try to shoot one across the place from you and it would only be those are in medium range across the clearing. That’s the word I was trying to use but that means the one that tried to kill you-
[00:42:50] – Steven
[overlapping Nick] Nah, I’ll shoot the one lclose to me.
[00:42:50] – Nick
Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. [dice sounds]
[00:42:52] – Cameron
You wanna flip a lightside point?
[00:42:54] – Steven
Yeah, can I upgrade one of my die?
[00:42:59] – Nick
Oooohh. Fancy. [dice sounds] [group laughter]
[00:43:05] – Steven
Well there’s a failure and… advantage.
[00:43:07] – Nick
So you miss, this thing hisses at you. How would you like to spend your advantage?
[00:43:11] – Steven
It is pissed off at someone else.
[00:43:15] – Nick
I think that would take more than one advantage.
[00:43:17] – Cameron
You can give the next person a blue die.
[00:43:19] – Laura
[00:43:19] – Steven
Yeah let’s do that.
[00:43:20] – Laura
[00:43:21] – Steven
Or just like it slips in the leaves and shit.
[00:43:23] – Nick
I like that it slips in the leaves. You could give it a black die for that.
[00:43:26] – Steven
[00:43:27] – Nick
So yeah it’s a little dazed. It’ll be harder to hit you.
[00:43:30] – Cameron
Your shot fires up some leaves and they land on top of it.
[00:43:34] – Steven
[00:43:34] – Cameron
So now it has to dig its way out.
[00:43:36] – Nick
It’s covered in the leaves you just see the pincer claw come up and then it’s like the old vampire myth. It’s picking up one leaf at a time to set it aside.
[00:43:43] – Laura
Oh, it’s got to count all the leaves now.
[00:43:46] – Nick
All right. And onto whoever’s going next.
[00:43:48] – Hudson
I want to go next because I have a vibro-axe, so I was built for this type of battle.
[00:43:52] – Nick
Oh yeah ok.
[00:43:53] – Cameron
Against tiny monkeys.
[00:43:54] – Hudson
Against tiny monkeys. So what- the one that landed me, where is that- is that one….
[00:43:58] – Nick
It’s just like in the grass next to you scuttling around and hissing.
[00:44:01] – Hudson
I just try to go -wack- and hit it with my vibro-axe.
[00:44:05] – Nick
Makes sense. Your difficulty will be two purples. [dice sounds]
[00:44:13] – Hudson
Oh, wait, [Cameron: nice] a success. And…
[00:44:16] – Cameron
[00:44:17] – Laura
[00:44:17] – Cameron
Just a success.
[00:44:18] – Hudson
Just a success. Okay.
Okay. How much damage does your vibro-axe do?
[00:44:21] – Hudson
It does Brawn plus 3 and my brawn is 3 so 6.
[00:44:25] – Nick
- So you-
[00:44:25] – Hudson
[00:44:27] – Nick
[00:44:27] – Laura
[overlapping Nick] you don’t have any.
[00:44:27] – Nick
But no, that’s good to [Hudson: I’m just letting you know] know. Thank you. I appreciate that, you cut it cleanly in half and the two halves fall to the ground and skitter off in several directions and then fall down and finished dying.
[00:44:38] – Hudson
Ahh [Nick makes hissing noises] didn’t know they worked like that. That’s that’s an interesting to know.
[00:44:45] – Cameron
Question, on melee do you add the number of successes to your damage?
[00:44:48] – Nick
[00:44:48] – Cameron
As well. Okay. So it’s actually one more damage than that.
[00:44:52] – Nick
Okay so that leaves Xianna left.
[00:44:55] – Laura
Yeah I’m going to aim at the one in front of me and then shoot it.
[00:45:00] – Nick
[00:45:01] – Laura
Would it be short range by now?
[00:45:02] – Nick
[00:45:03] – Laura
[00:45:05] – Nick
It missed, so it’s not engaged with you but it is short range.
[00:45:09] – Laura
Uhh- What is short range? Average?
[00:45:11] – Cameron
[00:45:13] – Laura
And then… where is my shooting? [dice sounds] That would be 5 successes and 1 threat.
[00:45:25] – Nick
Wow. So that does what, like 11 damage?
[00:45:29] – Laura
Uhh- 6… Yes. 11.
[00:45:32] – Nick
Dang I’m good. Yeah it explodes in a puff of like purply venom with a small monkey -eep-.
[00:45:40] – Laura
[00:45:40] – Nick
Yeah. There’s like a smoking- like one little stream of smoke out of a crater from where the monkey used to be. It is gone. You shot it real good. And now we’re back to the top. Mills looks around and says I’ll make sure there’s not more of them. And he goes like running off into the jungle.
[00:46:00] – Laura
Nooo Where you’re going? They’re still in here. And Xianna’s like pointing like at the claw like what? nooo.
[00:46:07] – Nick
And he – you hear a tree creaking, like shut up tree -pew pew- and then goes running off. And that guns to a PC slot.
[00:46:15] – Steven
[00:46:17] – Nick
- That’s the one by you. You gonna shoot him?
[00:46:20] – Steven
I’m going to try to stab it with my vibrokinfe.
[00:46:22] – Nick
- I’m so excited. So the [Cameron: so that’s melee, so melee is-] difficulty is two.
[00:46:27] – Cameron
[00:46:28] – Nick
Thank you, Rules Expert.
[00:46:30] – Cameron
[00:46:31] – Steven
Should I upgrade? I don’t know. [dice sounds] out of
[00:46:37] – Cameron
You should have upgraded.
[00:46:39] – Steven
So it’s a failure, two advantages [Cameron: two advantages] yeah.
[00:46:44] – Nick
I like this monkey thing, so how would you like to spend your two advantages?
[00:46:47] – Steven
It’s buried again.
[00:46:49] – Nick
- It’s more under the dirt. So it’s going to-
[00:46:53] – Steven
It’s really buried.
[00:46:54] – Nick
It’s going to spend its manouver digging itself out of the dirt I guess it’ll still have a black die and it’s going to attack you, Sabos, and it is… two greens.
[00:47:06] – Cameron
[overlapping Nick] Alright, Hudson you have to roll this time for the monkey.
[00:47:08] – Hudson
Opp- you’re right. [whispers] What do I roll?
[00:47:09] – Nick
Yeah. Two greens and two purples with one black die. [dice sounds]
[00:47:17] – Hudson
One success two threats.
[00:47:20] – Nick
Yayyyy! [Steven: aw] good job bug monkey.
[00:47:21] – Hudson
3 blank die rolls.
[00:47:21] – Nick
Geeze. That’s weird. Okay you said one success and two-
[00:47:27] – Cameron
[00:47:27] – Nick
Two threats. So here’s what happens. It finally jumps up out of this- You see from where it jumps. It’s actually in like a two foot hole at this point because you keep bearing it further and it latches onto your chest and it opens its mouth and it does that really creepy unfolding thing and some mandibles come out and sink into your chest. And it does, with one success, seven damage.
[00:47:50] – Steven
Oh, of course.
[00:47:51] – Cameron
So hits your soak. So you take 3 wounds.
[00:47:55] – Nick
And it’s super excited and it makes happy gloating monkey noises, you all see this thing latch on to Sabos and stab him with its weird monkey bug mouth.
[00:48:04] – Laura
AH! Zat is not good!
[00:48:06] – Hudson
[00:48:06] – Nick
And so while its head is sunk into the chest, the claw tail is snipping at all of you. -click click click-. Who’s next?
[00:48:14] – Cameron
[overlapping Nick] So next is a PC slot?
[00:48:16] – Nick
Yup, PC slot.
[00:48:17] – Cameron
Okay. So Karma looks at Sabos and then looks down at her gun and then is like well all right let’s do this [group laughter] and aims her blaster carbine at his face.
[00:48:30] – Nick
Okay. Which is especially interesting since it’s on his chest.
[00:48:34] – Steven
Because a knife wouldn’t work.
[00:48:35] – Nick
She’s like it would be a mercy to put him down.
[00:48:38] – Cameron
I’m aiming at the monkey. Xianna’s looking at Karma look down at her gun, And then Xianna also looks over at Sabos. And is like ohhhnoooo.
[00:48:52] – Cameron
Okay. So there’s no blue dice left or anything right? I’m sure you’ll be fine.
[00:48:56] – Steven
[00:48:58] – Cameron
I am going to upgrade it so that I have less of a chance… of shooting you.
[00:49:03] – Steven
Yup. [Cameron: on accident] [dice sounds]
[00:49:07] – Cameron
I’m sure it’ll be fine. See? Look you’re fine. Uh one success. [group laughter]
[00:49:13] – Nick
Oh that was close. So close.
[00:49:15] – Laura
Yeah one success.
[00:49:17] – Nick
[00:49:17] – Cameron
So that’s 10 damage to the monkey.
[00:49:20] – Nick
OK so you shoot him shoot the monkey in the back of the head and it splatters its guts on to Sabos’s chest and falls to the ground. The force transfers into you a little bit. It knocks you back, it feels like you got punched by somebody who wasn’t trying to hurt you too bad but it was real scary. And the monkey is now dead at your feet. The bug monkey. That’s the races name, bug monkey. And by race I mean animal species. Because this is not a sentient creature
[00:49:49] – Cameron
From Sabos’s point of view you just saw me look at you look at my gun and kind of shrug and just raise my gun and point it at you no biggie.
[00:49:59] – Steven
[00:50:01] – Cameron
So you feel loved.
[00:50:03] – Steven
I appreciate you getting the monkey off me.
[00:50:07] – Cameron
You’re welcome. You should try shooting it next time.
[00:50:09] – Steven
[00:50:13] – Hudson
Missed the opportunity to say you got a monkey on your front, instead of on your back. That wouldn’t have been a good joke. [Laura laughs]
[00:50:20] – Nick
[00:50:20] – Laura
[00:50:21] – Nick
Sabo is standing there and he’s got a big purple splotch on his chest. And as you’re watching you see some red kind of seep out of two pretty good sized holes in his chest.
[00:50:32] – Laura
Do you ‘ave medical supplies for yourself?
[00:50:36] – Steven
[00:50:36] – Laura
-sighs- dummie. You owe me. And like from- she like rummages around her pockets until she finds a stim pack and like walks up and just like jabs it into his throat and you heal five wounds.
[00:50:55] – Steven
That should do it.
[00:50:56] – Nick
So the stem packs are just like pocket morphine and adrenaline so it doesn’t- the bleeding kind of stops because they have stuff for that but there’s still some holes in your chest you’re able to manage but you feel great.
[00:51:09] – Laura
Well you- you heal five wounds then four then three then two than one then they don’t work.
[00:51:13] – Nick
Yeah they become less useful but so yayy drugs, you’re able to kind of shrug it off. Mills comes charging back into the clearing and he’s got like seven more of those monkey things in various states of exploded held by the tail. And he’s like here I got the rest of them they were trying to make an ambush. These things are wily suckers. And he says so if we scatter these around the clearing. We’ve been driving for not that long but I think we probably need to set up so we can- we can plan from here. And he sets about scattering all the monkey guts around the clearing that’ll keep the trees from coming after us for a while.
[00:51:54] – Steven
I don’t believe the trees. How do they move?
[00:51:57] – Cameron
Are the trees going to go after the monkeys instead?
[00:51:59] – Nick
No they just don’t like the smell and it’ll keep the other monkeys away.
[00:52:03] – Cameron
[whispers] the trees don’t like the smell?
[00:52:04] – Laura
Xianna is so concerned at this point. She’s like ze trees? What is zis planet? What are we doing on here?
[00:52:10] – Nick
Oh I forgot to mention Mills has a headband tied around his forehead like a red long one. And like jungle cammo paint on his face which he did not have two minutes ago and he’s I’ve seen some things in the jungle. So let’s- let’s make camp here for just a minute, come up with a plan. It looks like you guys saw something and then we’ll move on and
[00:52:31] – Cameron
[00:52:32] – Nick
And that’s where we’ll end this week’s episode.
[00:52:37] – Nick
[00:52:37] – Multiple Speakers
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa [group laughter]
[00:52:41] – Steven
Just like half a step off.
Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five star review. Five star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.
Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.
Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.
Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.
Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.
Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58. Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter.
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out. See you next time.