Transcript: Episode 4 A Monkey On Your Front

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Episode 4- A Monkey On Your Front

The transcription provided have been created through a mix of software and manual editing. We have tried our best to indicate overlapping speech, cross-party talk, and interruptions. “In character” speech has been italicized as best as possible. Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in somewhat of a French accent. We have done our best to represent that in text.

We apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Please send any corrections, comments, or concerns to



[00:00:18] – Nick

[background guitar music]

Hi everyone and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your gamemaster. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other. Additional music this week is Stjepan Major by Peglica i Komandos. Before we start I want to take a second to thank everyone for their 5star iTunes reviews. I’m talking to you Little Raley and you Scarbane. Special shout out to MiteyMights, directorspy. You’re a wonderful person. Leggd, go to Starbucks and tell them Tabletop Squadron says you deserve a macchiato. WesternShadow, thank you for your enthusiasm, and TheBrokenLegacy, may your dice ever roll triumphs. If you’re keeping count that’s seven reviews. We only need 3 more to unlock super secret art. It’s a lot of fun and we’ll post it all over social media. So if you like us head on over there and tell the iTunes community… maybe tell a friend. Once we hit this milestone we’ll come up with something else to bribe you into telling people about the show. So if you like content, review our show. Anyway onto the episode.


[00:01:40] – Nick

Hello and welcome to Episode 4 of Tabletop Squadron I’m your host and gamemaster, Nick. We’re gonna go around the table introduce yourselves and say who you are playing.


[00:01:50] – Laura

Hi I’m Laura and I play Xianna’fan.


[00:01:52] – Hudson

I’m Hudson and I play Tink.


[00:01:55] – Steven

I’m not Hudson. I’m actually Steven and I play Sabos Niks. [Nick: for real?]


[00:02:01] – Laura

I’m also not Steven. Wow.


[00:02:03] – Steven

[Cameron: you’re not Hudson either] I am Steven! [Hudson: woowww]


[00:02:05] – Laura

and I’m also not Hudson!


[00:02:06] – Steven

Yeah. Me neither. [Hudson: woowwww]


[00:02:07] – Laura

I’m definitely not Hudson


[00:02:09] – Steven



[00:02:09] – Cameron

Anyway, I’m Cameron [laughs] and I’m playing Karma


[00:02:12] – Laura

I am also Cameron though. [group laughter] I’m not Steven or Hudson, but I am also [Steven: i am in fact Cameron] Cameron.


[00:02:20] – Nick

And now let’s roll our destiny points. I got it right. Oh. [dice sounds]


[00:02:26] – Cameron

Good job. One dark side. bad job. [dice sounds]


[00:02:30] – Steven

Two light side. [Cameron: heeyyyyy] white side.


[00:02:33] – Laura

One dark side


[00:02:33] – Hudson

Two light side.


[00:02:38] – Laura

We did so well


[00:02:39] – Cameron

Four the light side, two dark side.


[00:02:42] – Nick

All right so when we last left off. You all had been given a rare moment of privacy and relaxation in your garden shed and-


[00:02:52] – Steven

Guest quarters.


[00:02:53] – Nick

Guest quarters and had been -um- bedding down for the evening. And we’ll- we’ll open it up there.


[00:02:59] – Laura

Xianna immediately sees that it’s two bunk beds and yells out top bunk! I call ze top bunk!


[00:03:06] – Steven

Which one?


[00:03:07] – Laura

Zeee right side. yes


[00:03:09] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I just go and climb on the top bunk on the left.


[00:03:11] – Steven



[00:03:12] – Hudson

I take the bottom bunk. That’s what I wanted anyway


[00:03:14] – Steven

[overlapping Hudson] I take the bottom bunk ’cause it’s what’s left.


[00:03:17] – Hudson

I’m a bit heavy


[00:03:18] – Cameron

And so I look around and I notice that there are no cameras or recording equipment or anything in here.


[00:03:24] – Laura

Xianna [Nick: pass that check] would like poke her head upside down and look at Tink and be like Tink do you like being ze bottom? [group laughter] and is like smiling and just staring at him.


[00:03:37] – Hudson

I kind of crumple up my face and I don’t respond.


[00:03:40] – Laura

I like twist over and look at Sabos, and go Sabos! Do you like being ze bottom?


[00:03:45] – Steven

I am on the bottom.


[00:03:47] – Laura

Do you like being on ze bottom?


[00:03:50] – Steven

I mean I’d prefer the top but I’ll take bottom. [group laughter]


[00:03:54] – Laura

Xianna just keeps laughing and sits back up and is very proud of herself.


[00:03:59] – Hudson

Sounds like he’ll take whatever he can get.


[00:04:01] – Laura

She is very amused with this.


[00:04:03] – Cameron

So I’m- I’m sitting on the edge of the top bunk. I have my feet swinging very much in Sabos’s area. Not purposely trying to hit him but also since he’s on the bottom bunk there’s just not a lot of space there.


[00:04:16] – Steven

Not trying not to hit me either though.


[00:04:18] – Cameron

Not trying not- not trying to hit you but also not really caring if you choose to put your face in the way of my foot. [group laughter]


[00:04:27] – Steven

Oh [Cameron: yeah] cool.


[00:04:29] – Cameron

So Togrutan.


[00:04:31] – Steven

Nautolan. [Cameron laughs]


[00:04:33] – Laura

Again! What is with you two?


[00:04:37] – Cameron

I- He introduced himself as Togrutan so I’m going with it.


[00:04:40] – Steven



[00:04:42] – Cameron

Nope. You’re Togrutan. Why are you here?


[00:04:46] – Steven

-uh- Well I’m from a- a small outpost on -uh- you know, Osiron. Not the Togrutan homeworld. [Cameron: okay] [Laura: But- ] We want to -uh- you know we’re seeking to establish trade routes throughout the galaxy, we’re trying to be independent of the home world. [Cameron: -mhhmm-] First Togrutans to branch out and -uh-  I was told that if I were to -uh- you know, help someone scratch their back they could scratch mine, if you will.


[00:05:13] – Cameron

That does nothing to explain to me why you’re here.


[00:05:16] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] Yes, zat makes no sense.


[00:05:18] – Cameron

Who’s back where are you trying to scratch?


[00:05:20] – Steven

Oh you know the Corellian.


[00:05:21] – Cameron

the Corellian?


[00:05:22] – Laura

[overlapping Cameron] the Corellian?


[00:05:23] – Steven



[00:05:23] – Cameron

Did this Corellian have a name or did you just see what [Steven: -uuuuh- Sako] they looked like and just want it -oh- So Sacko, -oh- so the one who was supposed to be with us.


[00:05:31] – Steven

Yes that’s right.


[00:05:33] – Cameron



[00:05:33] – Steven

I was told if I do some of his bidding he might help me establish some routes between -uh Osiron and -uh- Corellia.


[00:05:40] – Cameron



[00:05:40] – Steven



[00:05:41] – Cameron

so- so we’ve seen your vast expertise at astrogation [Steven: yes] and piloting.


[00:05:48] – Steven



[00:05:49] – Cameron

-umm- Do you have any actual skills?


[00:05:52] – Steven

Well I am an expert at astrogation and piloting. I like to think I’m a skilled negotiator.


[00:05:58] – Cameron

You like to think or you are?


[00:06:01] – Steven

I’m a good pilot aren’t I?


[00:06:02] – Cameron



[00:06:03] – Steven

I negotiate as well as I pilot.


[00:06:05] – Laura



[00:06:06] – Cameron

Oh great.


[00:06:06] – Steven

All I have- Okay okay.


[00:06:09] – Laura

You should not talk when


[00:06:10] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] We didn’t hit the trees okay. That’s [Laura: that’s what we- did we not?] how my negotiating works.


[00:06:13] – Cameron

That was [Laura: we did] not you! That was me!


[00:06:17] – Steven

I astrogated that.


[00:06:18] – Cameron

Yeah, you astrogated to the trees.


[00:06:20] – Steven

That’s right. I wanted to test your skills. Why are you here?


[00:06:24] – Cameron

Because I was hired for bounty hunter job because I’m a bounty hunter. And I brought in my mark very quickly and efficiently.


[00:06:31] – Steven

So why are you still here?


[00:06:33] – Laura

Because money!


[00:06:33] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] Well I’m being paid for a job. [Steven: mhhm-] I don’t know if you are. Sacko might be being paid for this job.


[00:06:39] – Steven

Someone is getting paid.


[00:06:40] – Cameron



[00:06:41] – Laura

I do not zink zat someone is you zough.


[00:06:43] – Steven

I’m getting paid in trade routes.


[00:06:45] – Laura

So nooo. [Cameron: okay] Zat is not money


[00:06:50] – Steven

And in credits.


[00:06:51] – Laura

Zat is money. I do not zink you are getting zose credits zough.


[00:06:56] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] Credits aren’t as important on Osiron.


[00:06:58] – Laura

Is it a [Cameron whispers something. possibly: something’s getting at me] trade based society?


[00:07:02] – Steven

It’s- it’s more of a hunter gatherer society. So we’re trying to


[00:07:06] – Cameron and Laura

trade based?


[00:07:07] – Laura

trade based.


[00:07:08] – Steven

Trying to make it into more of a modern…


[00:07:11] – Laura

So zen [Steven: sort, almost like the homeworld ] you want ze money..


[00:07:13] – Cameron

So you’d need, so-


[00:07:14] – Steven

Trade routes.


[00:07:15] – Cameron

So, so, so wait. So you’re branching out from the homeworld to become a different group of Togrutans [Steven: No no no, we had just been there first] and are tryingto make it so that the current society more reflects the homeworld. So why [Steven: uh no. no] did you leave? That is what you said.


[00:07:33] – Steven

Well there’s a lot of group think that goes on in the Togrutan culture. -uh- Us on our colony aren’t as -uh- groupy.


[00:07:41] – Laura

Xianna like pops back down… like upside down and looks at Tink and goes zat is going nowhere and I do not zink he knows what he is talking about. What is your deal? You are big and furry.


[00:07:54] – Hudson

Now that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit, what do you- what do you want to know? What do you mean my-


[00:07:58] – Laura

like. Like.. what is [Steven: top or bottom?] your deal?


[00:08:02] – Hudson

Well as a child, or how far back? How far back do we need to go here?


[00:08:06] – Cameron

[laughing] I was born on a Tuesday.


[00:08:08] – Hudson



[00:08:08] – Laura

Just like a general…. what is your zing? Who do you like?


[00:08:12] – Hudson

[overlapping Laura] Well if you haven’t noticed my [Laura: what is-] thing is slicing. I’m wery very good at it. That’s why I got picked up for the job. One of the best in the land actually.


[00:08:20] – Laura



[00:08:20] – Hudson

And Corellia.


[00:08:22] – Laura



[00:08:23] – Hudson



[00:08:23] – Laura

Anything else?


[00:08:25] – Hudson

Well -uh- I wasn’t, you know, I did learn computers in an empire run school -uh- one time but you can’t really trust the empire, I found out and so I ditched that and since then I’ve just been kind of learning on my own, making my own way.


[00:08:41] – Laura

Where is your ‘ome? You say imperial but I-


[00:08:44] – Hudson

So I was on Mandalore as a child but for the longest


[00:08:49] – Laura

[overlapping Hudson] [whispers] you do not look Mandalorian.


[00:08:51] – Cameron

They normally don’t have quite as much hair.


[00:08:53] – Laura

Usually zey are just ‘umans.


[00:08:55] – Hudson

Well my parents were brought there as slaves. Thank you very much if you [Cameron: ohh] had to [Laura: oh] know. I’m from the original home of Gigor which is where my race is from but then they got sent to Mandalore as slaves before they were freed by Duchesse Satine. So there’s- there’s my story.


[00:09:15] – Laura

Cool! I was just curious-


[00:09:16] – Hudson

What’s your deal?


[00:09:16] – Steven



[00:09:17] – Laura

I steal zings. [Cameron laughs]


[00:09:20] – Hudson

Steal things.


[00:09:21] – Laura

I am versatile….Also, how open are you to a- a threesome with ze Zabrak? He seemed interested. I just want to make sure, you know, keep zings open and just incase. I do not zink we will have to but you know, on ze off chance zat zis will make zings easier or if zings get weird.


[00:09:43] – Cameron

Karma rolls over so that her head’s now hanging over the bed and just kind of like stares at Sabos uncomfortably.


[00:09:49] – Hudson

You know-


[00:09:50] – Cameron

And all my head tails just kind of fall around.


[00:09:52] – Steven

I like clear her tentacles and stare uncomfortably back.


[00:09:55] – Hudson

There was this one time back in college. Things just kind of got weird, I had a lot of wine and so I mean if- if things happen they happen is what I say. I- I try to go with the flow cautiously [Laura: okie] and I seem [Laura: just checking] to think that you know…


[00:10:12] – Laura

Again I do not zink it is going to ‘appen. You know, just checking all ze options.


[00:10:18] – Hudson

Well thank- thank you for your communication.


[00:10:20] – Laura

I mean… okie. 


[00:10:22] – Steven

Seems like everyone is open to it here,  so I think y’all are


[00:10:25] – Cameron

Wait, what?


[00:10:25] – Hudson

No one even asked you.


[00:10:27] – Laura

No one asked you Sabos. No one asked you.


[00:10:30] – Steven

I didn’t mean me, I’m- I’m-


[00:10:32] – Laura

Well obviously.


[00:10:33] – Steven

I’m not in y’alls bunk.


[00:10:34] – Cameron



[00:10:35] – Laura

You are on zat side of ze room.


[00:10:36] – Cameron

So everyone– [Laura: zis side of ze-] so everyone refer to that bunk.


[00:10:38] – Laura

Zis is the cool bunk. You are ze not cool bunk.


[00:10:42] – Steven

I’m an ambasador.


[00:10:42] – Laura

No you’re not.


[00:10:44] – Steven

I’m too good for that.


[00:10:45] – Laura

I do not zink you are an official ambasador.


[00:10:47] – Steven

Look at my badge. I hold up the badge.


[00:10:50] – Laura

Does zat say Sakos?


[00:10:51] – Steven

No. This says Sabos. This is the Osiron official


[00:10:55] – Laura

[overlapping Steven] which does it say?


[00:10:56] – Nick

So it says Sabos on it, describe your Osiron ambassador’s badge.


[00:11:01] – Steven

It has a picture of Osiron. So basically just a circle with an orange- an orange circle and it says Sabos Niks and a picture of me with my thumb up and under it it says Ambassador.


[00:11:18] – Laura

Zat looks fake


[00:11:19] – Steven

It’s laminated! [group laughter]


[00:11:22] – Laura

Zat looks more fake zen ze fake badges I make.


[00:11:24] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] as I said we don’t have many sources on Osiron.


[00:11:27] – Laura

Also, why is zere just an orange blob? Zat could be anyzing.


[00:11:31] – Steven

That’s Osiron.


[00:11:32] – Laura

I mean again it could be anyzing… so it is fake!?


[00:11:36] – Steven

No this is the official ambassador badge of Osiron. I know because I am the official ambassador.


[00:11:43] – Laura

-Mmmmmm- [Cameron: okay] if you say so.


[00:11:45] – Steven

If you could make a better badge


[00:11:47] – Laura

I mean maybe.


[00:11:48] – Steven

We- we Togrutans on Osiron might have need for your services.


[00:11:51] – Laura

I do not ‘ave a laminater machine with me.


[00:11:55] – Steven

Eh, we can work that out.


[00:11:56] – Nick

So as you continue to discuss for a few hours the camera pulls back. The sun is set You hear night life in the jungle and as the camera pulls away from the outpost you see patrols going around on the exterior and there’s a side wipe it goes -swwooop- across and then suddenly you’re zoomed back in on the outside of your guest quarters and it’s daytime, early morning.


[00:12:24] – Hudson

I yawn as I wake up.


[00:12:25] – Steven

I sit up ambasador-ly.


[00:12:27] – Nick

So there’s a brief shot of you all waking up and then another wipe. Maybe this one’s a star wipe we’ll just get ridiculous with it and you are all geared up and walking into the square in the middle of Outpost 4 and you see one of the off-road speeders that was on the expedition yesterday and Mills, the large guy with dark lanky hair and scars is throwing some crates of supplies into a trunk on the back. The speeder now that you get a closer look it hovers but also has like skids on the bottom for sudden changes like fallen tree trunks and underbrush and things and it looks like it sees 6 people it’s got 3 2-person benches and then a large crate strapped to the back that works as like a trunk and he’s putting stuff into that crate back there. Yeah. So as you walk up he waves at you and says Good morning.


[00:13:22] – Steven

Howdy [Cameron whispers: good morning] Mills


[00:13:22] – Laura



[00:13:24] – Hudson



[00:13:25] – Laura

Xianna’s not [Cameron whispers: Xianna doesn’t do mornings?] a morning person. She’s still kind of like half asleep and she’s probably like leaning against whoever is right next to her and then kind of doing like the jerk where like No, I’m – I am awake. I am awake.


[00:13:35] – Steven

Mills do we happen to know the description of the men we’re looking forward today?


[00:13:42] – Nick

Well there’s a couple of them. Their names are Lira and Williams. One of them’s a storm trooper and the other one’s a officer.


[00:13:53] – Cameron

Which one is the trooper?


[00:13:55] – Nick



[00:13:56] – Hudson

Are they in love?


[00:13:58] – Nick

I…. I don’t care. My job is to go get them.


[00:14:01] – Hudson

So you’ll be joining us?


[00:14:02] – Nick

Yeah I’ll be your guide. I guess. I was supposed to keep an eye on you. Falx presumably trusts you which makes no sense but the money is good. And this is a lot more comfortable than where we used to live with all those beasts about. So I’ll take you wherever you need to go but it’s going to probably be an hour or so before we -uh- we’re- we’re ready to leave the speeders still charging so if there’s anything you need to take care of before you go now would be the time.


[00:14:32] – Hudson

[Cameron mutters something] bathroom break


[00:14:33] – Nick



[00:14:34] – Hudson



[00:14:34] – Laura

Did you- We literally just left. Did you not go?


[00:14:39] – Hudson

Well- I have to go a lot when I first wake up. [group laughter]


[00:14:44] – Nick

Mill’s is like no no no not here not here in the square. There is a barracks bathroom over there.


[00:14:48] – Hudson

Oh okay.


[00:14:49] – Steven

I turn around so I cannot be seen by Kaarma and clean my weapon and prepare it.


[00:14:54] – Laura

[whispers] why..


[00:14:55] – Nick

Eww [Cameron laughs]


[00:14:55] – Laura

why, why do you-


[00:14:56] – Steven

[overlapping Laura] I was giving Karma crap about cleaning the- the bug guts. [Nick: oh! you’re actual weapon] Yes.


[00:15:01] – Cameron

His actual weapon. And now you’re really [Steven: my blaster!] regretting not cleaning it yesterday.


[00:15:05] – Laura

why do you… you clean your weapon at night. Why would you do it right now?


[00:15:10] – Steven

I’m not getting my weapon dammit. I like run off.


[00:15:13] – Laura



[00:15:13] – Cameron

Karma turns as she hears Xianna say this.


[00:15:17] – Nick

So as they all kind of scatter Mills looks at Xianna and Karma who are still there and says well if I’ve got basic supplies but if you need anything specifically for the jungle there’s a quartermaster off the square over there and he points [Cameron: fabulous] across the square.


[00:15:32] – Laura

Zank you.


[00:15:33] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I’mma go that way.


[00:15:34] – Laura

I go that way as well.


[00:15:36] – Nick

Okey dokey. So you see the building that he pointed out across the way it looks like a very small shack on the other side of the square so most of these buildings are probably 2, 3… or like between 500 and a thousand square feet. So like general cabin size this one looks like an outhouse. And as you come up to it it’s a another like concrete building but it’s got one of the Star Wars doors on it so it’s swooshes open and you see that it actually leads to just a staircase going down. The quartermaster is actually stationed in a basement dug into the ground. So as you go down the stairs the walls are all dirt crisscrossed with dura-steel beams to keep the area stable and there is a steel cage that takes up about two thirds of this basement with a bunch of crates of supplies behind it and there is a board looking human behind a glass window. He’s bald with graying short cropped hair on the sides and eyes bug out of his face his belly presses against the desk in front of him. He makes eye contact with you but says nothing.


[00:16:38] – Cameron

Hey hun, do you have any vibroswords?


[00:16:42] – Nick

Yeahhh. What… who.. Do you have an order issuing you a vibrant sword? They don’t just give those out.


[00:16:50] – Cameron

No, I’m wanting to purchase one, we’re about to leave on an expedition for Falx.


[00:16:55] – Nick

Ahh- Shh- vibr- yeah. If you’re working for him I guess I can explain the inventory later, charge you, I don’t know, throw out a number. Normally I don’t have to do this. Uhhh- seven hundred and fifty credits? The exact going rate for a vibro sword.


[00:17:13] – Cameron

I was seeing if I had negotiation but I don’t yet. So.


[00:17:16] – Nick



[00:17:16] – Cameron



[00:17:17] – Nick

So you hand him some credits because Star Wars is super vague about what that looks like depending on what it is.


[00:17:23] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] It’s like two and a half blocks of credits.


[00:17:26] – Nick

Yeah those weird-


[00:17:27] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] or maybe just one stick? I don’t know.


[00:17:29] – Nick

Gold bars but sometimes they’re flash drives. Yes. So you have a Vibert sword. It’s not super fancy. It’s got like a tape grip on it but it looks pretty much like fresh out of a box. Just think they bought the cheapest functioning one that they could.


[00:17:45] – Cameron

I go- I go through the ones that they have and like slash with them and stuff to get the one that has the best feel.


[00:17:52] – Nick

  1. They’re all identical but one of them feels like it was wrapped a little bit better.


[00:17:56] – Cameron

Cool. I take that one.


[00:17:57] – Nick

The guy behind the counter after you’ve asked for the third one is starting to look really annoyed. Look they’re all the same. Just take one. I don’t know [Cameron: the one-] what you’re doing.


[00:18:05] – Cameron

The one that he hands me that time I do a more flashy slash with and go a little bit closer to him than I had been doing so that he backs off.


[00:18:15] – Nick

Yeah he shuts up but also does not change his posture at all so-


[00:18:19] – Cameron

It’s fine I just want him to stop talking.


[00:18:20] – Laura

Xianna’s just gonna kind of smile and be like And do you have any grenades?


[00:18:26] – Nick

Is this a military outpost? Yeah. What do you want?


[00:18:30] – Laura

I know, but like do you just like give to me? I do not know ze rules ‘ere. I’m sorry.


[00:18:35] – Nick

Just. They cost money.


[00:18:37] – Laura

I know they cost the money.


[00:18:39] – Nick



[00:18:40] – Laura

But you seem to confused about how much it costs with her.


[00:18:42] – Nick

No I know things. I’m- I’m really good- I’m a good quartermaster. Yeah. We’ve got like all the grenades like half these boxes are probably grenades. That’s why we’re underground. It’s not like I could die or whatever.


[00:18:55] – Hudson

I’d like two grenades please.


[00:18:56] – Nick

Oh how- are you there now?


[00:18:58] – Cameron

Tink [Hudson: yeah!] says walking in from the bathroom.


[00:18:59] – Nick



[00:19:00] – Hudson

Yeah I’m done.


[00:19:02] – Nick

You’re- great. Some weird albino wookiee.


[00:19:07] – Hudson

Woooah! [Laura: excuse me!] I’ll take three grenades.


[00:19:10] – Nick

I don’t know how much grenades cost. How much do grendades cost?


[00:19:12] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] -uuhhhh- So I have knockout grenade listed as 120 but that’s not a regular grenade.


[00:19:18] – Nick

We’ll just do 120, that’s [Laura: okay] fine. so it’s 120 a pop. I’m sure they all cost slightly different but I don’t feel like looking it up so either I’m giving you a good deal or I’m ripping you off. I’m not sure but yeah you could. Do you want just like explode grenades?


[00:19:33] – Laura

I want ze exploding grenades


[00:19:35] – Hudson

Explode please.


[00:19:36] – Nick

Okay Wookiee guy. Here’s 3. He slides them, you give him money.


[00:19:41] – Laura

I want two please.


[00:19:43] – Nick

Okay here’s two. It’s fine. Wherever. Maybe I’ll even make sure the empire gets this money back. Doesn’t matter.


[00:19:50] – Steven

While they do that I finally finished cleaning my weapon, go to Mills, ask where everyone is and then join them in the…


[00:19:57] – Nick

So Mills looks [Steven: outpost] up from, he’s got a panel on the speeder open and a datapad plugged into it and he’s running some diagnostics and he looks up why you’re- not with everybody else. What are you even- they’re that way. Go to the outhouse looking building. We’re leaving in like 20 minutes. I hope you get your stuff together.


[00:20:16] – Steven



[00:20:17] – Nick

Okay. And then it cuts back to you walking down the stairs. So grenades and a sword. I’m sure you’re definitely going to want to use a sword against a Kersten’s beast. Yeah that’s a great idea.


[00:20:31] – Steven

Oooh I’ll have one of those swords.


[00:20:33] – Nick

You want a sword?


[00:20:34] – Steven

What did she get? I point to Karma.


[00:20:37] – Cameron

I slash the sword threateningly at him.


[00:20:39] – Steven

Yes, yes.


[00:20:41] – Nick

Sure, 750 credits and you-



[overlapping Steven] Oooo That’s pretty steep.


[00:20:46] – Nick

Yeah it is.


[00:20:46] – Cameron

The [Steven: I-]  going rate for [Steven: I-] a vibrosword.


[00:20:48] – Steven

I could negotiate here so I mean actually try to negotiate with them.


[00:20:51] – Nick



[00:20:51] – Steven

I’d like just a better price. I’m kind of aiming for 500 but if he wants to do better.


[00:20:58] – Nick

You’re aiming for 500? Okay


[00:20:59] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] Yeah, I want just a better price


[00:21:01] – Hudson

Get triple triumphs and you gotta [becomes too quiet to hear]


[00:21:02] – Nick

Okay roll your negotiation against his negotiation which is-


[00:21:06] – Steven



[00:21:07] – Nick

-a red and two purples.


[00:21:09] – Steven



[00:21:11] – Nick

and also you can have a black die because they’ve been irritating him this whole time.


[00:21:14] – Steven

No I’ll just not do that if that’s cool with you.


[00:21:17] – Nick

Is that one of your talents?


[00:21:18] – Steven



[00:21:18] – Laura

No, he flipped a-


[00:21:19] – Cameron

He flipped a lightside point Nick: Oooh] to not have to.


[00:21:21] – Nick

So you… that’s not what that does. You can upgrade [Steven: oh!] one of your greens to a yellow.


[00:21:25] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] Oh, well, never mind, we’ll- we can just put that back and I’ll see what my talents are. Let’s see. Street smarts or knowledge? That’s not that. Well fuck it. [dice sounds]


[00:21:34] – Nick



[00:21:35] – Steven

Black die. [dice sounds continue]


[00:21:37] – Nick

So if you flipped one it’ll give you- it’ll upgrade one of your greens to a yellow.


[00:21:41] – Steven



[00:21:41] – Nick

Or add a green if you have all yellows. [dice sounds continue to continue]


[00:21:45] – Steven



[00:21:45] – Laura

He’ll be fine.


[00:21:46] – Nick

Okay. [dice sounds finally end]


[00:21:50] – Steven

Or not.


[00:21:51] – Cameron



[00:21:53] – Nick

Oh woowww


[00:21:53] – Steven

That would be a fuck ton of, well-


[00:21:55] – Cameron

Two threats


[00:21:56] – Steven

Two threats. Yep.


[00:21:57] – Nick

All right


[00:21:58] – Steven

And nothing else that really happens.


[00:22:00] – Nick

Look, so I report to the Empire. I don’t have to do anything for you all.


[00:22:05] – Steven

Oh I understand. I’m not an imperial.


[00:22:07] – Nick

It’s time for you to stop talking now buddy. You can give me a thousand credits for this vibrosword or you can all get out.


[00:22:15] – Steven

750 sounds great.


[00:22:16] – Nick



[00:22:16] – Laura

Do not-


[00:22:17] – Nick

1,000 credits


[00:22:18] – Steven



[00:22:20] – Laura

Sabos… stop it. Has he given the rest of us our stuff already?


[00:22:25] – Nick

Yeah you guys already have your stuff.


[00:22:26] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] OK like Xianna has definitely already put the grenades like into her magical pockets and is like kind of backing up and like with Karma and Tink, being like [in a sing-song manner] we should goooo. We should go right now! Let’s go!


[00:22:41] – Cameron

I sheath my sword with a flourish and just turn in a swing of headtails and walk back up the stairs.


[00:22:48] – Steven



[00:22:48] – Nick

So it’s just him and Sabos left.


[00:22:51] – Steven

So a thousand’s not going to work. [group laughter]


[00:22:55] – Nick

You know it’s kind of weird that she didn’t have a sword. Right? He says pointing at Karma as she leaves, because like she’s obviously good with one but she didn’t have one. Are you good with a sword?


[00:23:07] – Steven



[00:23:08] – Nick

Okay so why won’t a thousand work? You broke?


[00:23:12] – Steven



[00:23:12] – Nick

You smugglers never have any actual money which is weird because you work in expensive stuff.


[00:23:16] – Steven

It’s a long trip out to Osiron.


[00:23:21] – Nick

Hmm. You got anything worth trading?


[00:23:23] – Steven

That’s a curious question. -Uhhhh- Unless you’re interested in macro binoculars I’m not entirely sure I got much for you.


[00:23:34] – Nick

How much money do you have?


[00:23:35] – Steven



[00:23:39] – Nick

Well I noticed you’ve got an extra head tail. I’ll take that.


[00:23:43] – Steven

Not sure I’m willing to part with my extra head tail.


[00:23:47] – Nick

That’s pretty inconvenient for you -huh-.


[00:23:50] – Steven

It certainly can be.


[00:23:52] – Nick

It’s weird having someone come into your personal space and immediately say that what is a part of you is not worth what you ask for isn’t it?


[00:24:00] – Steven

Is a vibrosword a part of you?


[00:24:02] – Nick

This is my inventory. I am the quartermaster.


[00:24:06] – Steven

Do you have any smaller cutting items like -[too muttered to hear].


[00:24:11] – Nick

I’ve got a vibroknife, give to you for 200 and your macro binoculars.


[00:24:17] – Steven

Well how about 250 and not the macro binoculars?


[00:24:21] – Nick

Yeah okay. I was just trying to be mean at this point but I want you to leave my thing now.


[00:24:25] – Steven

I’m cool with a knife.


[00:24:26] – Nick



[00:24:26] – Steven



[00:24:27] – Nick

You can have a vibroknife. I’m pretty sure I overcharged you like crazy for that but whatever.


[00:24:32] – Steven

That’ll work


[00:24:33] – Cameron

Ehh- they’re not cheap.


[00:24:34] – Nick

Yeah well or undercharge, this guy just wants him to go away. So you have a vibroknife.


[00:24:39] – Steven

Just tried to negotiate.


[00:24:40] – Nick

The stats are in the book.


[00:24:41] – Cameron

[whispers]  stats are right here.


[00:24:43] – Steven

Oh of course.


[00:24:46] – Nick

And we’ll do that of a scene transition where they shake hands over the vibroknife and the credits and it zooms in on their hands and then zooms out and everybody is in the speeder driving through the jungle. So OK so you’re in this speeder- Is- did anybody volunteer to drive?


[00:25:04] – Steven

Oh- I- yeah.


[00:25:05] – Hudson

I should drive. Wait, is there only one speeder for all of us?


[00:25:08] – Nick

Yeah. It’s like a six seater.


[00:25:10] – Steven

Oh yeah I’m going to drive.


[00:25:10] – Laura

Xianna would’ve immediately called for a center seat. She wants a middle seat.


[00:25:16] – Hudson

Wait whi-


[00:25:16] – Cameron

[overlapping Hudson] are they, I thought it was three rows of two seats.


[00:25:19] – Laura

Ohhh [Steven: I have piloting planetary] I heard two rows of three seats. Which one is it?


[00:25:22] – Nick

I- it’s- it’s three [Cameron: i think-] rows of two seats.


[00:25:26] – Laura



[00:25:27] – Steven

Okay.I- I’m just really confident in my abilities.


[00:25:31] – Hudson

-um- I’m going to take this one after the whole tree incident. So I pilot.


[00:25:36] – Steven

I do not concede.


[00:25:39] – Hudson

We roll chance cubes to settle this.


[00:25:41] – Nick



[00:25:42] – Laura

Xianna takes [Cameron: alright, well-] both of the backseats.


[00:25:44] – Cameron

[overlapping Laura] Roll- roll a force die.



[overlapping Cameron] Do you need to borrow mine?


[00:25:46] – Cameron

If it’s a light side then Tink drives. If it’s a dark side…


[00:25:51] – Steven

All right let’s do it. [dice sounds] Damn!


[00:25:54] – Cameron

Tink drives!


[00:25:55] – Hudson

Tink drives, light side!


[00:25:56] – Nick

and you owe him five credits! [group laughter] No. it’s just one side, I thought it was two light side. It’s like. Okay so yeah you pull out chance cubes immediately with a glint in your eye.


[00:26:06] – Hudson



[00:26:06] – Nick

and win the role. So you’re driving, Mills [Steven: I sit in the passenger seat] in the seat next to you.


[00:26:10] – Steven

No. No he’s not.


[00:26:13] – Nick

So we flashback to a scene of Mills getting into the passenger seat and you laying a hand on his chest like excuse me.


[00:26:19] – Steven

Chance cube.


[00:26:21] – Nick

Okay. [Cameron laughs] He’s like fine, we’ll roll of chance cube. I’m a gambler. Roll it.


[00:26:26] – Steven

Light I sit there?


[00:26:27] – Nick

Yeah. [dice sounds]


[00:26:29] – Steven

Damn it! [Cameron: dark side!] [group laughs] [Hudson mumbles something] I get in the back seat.


[00:26:32] – Nick

Mills is like fine gamble, it’s fine. It- I’m just supposed to kind of help you guys figure out where to go. No big deal. And you- you say well chance cubes and without even turning from the driver’s seat TinK holds up a cube you snatch it out his hand you roll it and you immediately lose. And Mills goes see? and so he’s in the second seat or in the passenger seat. In the second row. There is actually one other person. It is a imperial officer. He looks to be pretty young like fresh, pretty nervous. He introduced himself as Spark Deulsen. So the camera zooms around you’re all wearing like the helicopter earphones with the microphones. And he’s like oh boy I sure am glad we’re out here in the jungle.


[00:27:14] – Laura

Wait. How old is he?


[00:27:16] – Nick

Like 20 ish.


[00:27:17] – Laura



[00:27:18] – Cameron

Xianna 100- [Nick: a young 20] Xianna 100 percent’s sitting next to him.


[00:27:21] – Nick

[overlapping Cam] I don’t know why I did the Morty voice, okay?


[00:27:22] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] Xianna got into the back seat at first and her plan was to spread out and then she realized there was someone sitting there-


[00:27:29] – Cameron

Karma was climbing into the middle seat saw him and was like No. And got back down and then just stood next to Xianna [Laura: No, no, no] until Xianna got out.


[00:27:36] – Laura

Xianna is in the back seat but she’s in the back seat right behind him and is doing the like elbows on the back of his chair like leaning forward, be like Soooo


[00:27:49] – Nick

yeah. Which is funny too because you’re all connected with microphones so there’s no reason to do that. Oh wow that’s sure is exciting. I’m sure excited to go out on this mission. [Cameron, whispers:  so I get back in the jeep]Oh jeez. Spark Deulsen. He’s a petty officer and in– I specialize in communications.


[00:28:10] – Steven

Do you?


[00:28:11] – Nick



[00:28:11] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] Oh, zat is fascinating. Tell me more!


[00:28:14] – Nick

-Uh- And he blushes, says well, the funny thing is hyperspace communication. You think the higher frequency and the camera pans out but he keeps talking for quite a while.


[00:28:26] – Laura

No like straight up can I make a charm roll to see if he can just like keep talking and maybe accidentally say something he shouldn’t?


[00:28:32] – Nick

Sure. What a great idea.


[00:28:35] – Laura

What would the difficulty be?


[00:28:36] – Nick

Easy. Because he’s a turd. But two black die because you are driving fast. And also he doesn’t know a whole lot.


[00:28:45] – Laura

So then- how many?


[00:28:45] – Nick

Two black die. One because you’re on a speeder and the other because he doesn’t know that much useful stuff anyway. [dice sounds]


[00:28:54] – Laura

Two successes.


[00:28:55] – Nick

Huh yeah. Well you’d think the higher frequencies would be more important but actually the low frequencies are more important especially when we’re bypassing imperial code to try to get our smuggling equipment out. Oops. [group laughter]


[00:29:12] – Laura

-uhh- Where’s Tink sitting?


[00:29:13] – Cameron

Tinks driving.


[00:29:14] – Laura

Oh Tinks’s driving, so never mind but she does kind of like look over at Karma and wink and then go Oh. What? Why would you say oops? I did not hear anyzing. I am just so interested in what you are saying.


[00:29:27] – Nick

That’s good because if I let- let loose that the lower frequencies make it easier to bypass imperial codes so we could set our smugly equipment that would be really bad. Oops.


[00:29:41] – Laura

I do not understand.It is okay.


[00:29:43] – Nick

 maybe it’s like a nervous tick I just say oops sometimes I’m sure it won’t come up everything’s fine.


[00:29:48] – Laura

It is so cute. do not mind.


[00:29:51] – Nick

Aww you think I’m cute? He like clams up and blushes. He’s-


[00:29:54] – Cameron

Karma scoots over towards the wall a little bit more in their seat.


[00:30:01] – Nick



[00:30:01] – Cameron

She’s- she’s feeling awkward because he’s the same age as her sons. And she’s like ahhhh I don’t want to think about my kids doing this. I do not want my kids to meet Xianna.


[00:30:14] – Laura

Yeah Xianna’s- I mean Xianna’s like twenty three or twenty four.


[00:30:18] – Cameron

Yeah but you [Laura: so it’s not-] seem like real dangerous.


[00:30:22] – Laura

Oh yeah it is not good.


[00:30:26] – Nick

You drive your speeder for about an hour into the jungle and you come to a clearing and there’s some obvious blaster marks on some of the surrounding trees and some- like a fight has happened here and Mills signals for Tink to slow down and stop.


[00:30:43] – Hudson

I slow down and stop.


[00:30:44] – Nick

Great. Mills hops out with a -huuhh- action man noises and he’s carrying his stripped down blaster, he says this is where we lost track of the original party. We found two of them but three of them are still missing. Besides the deserters.


[00:30:58] – Hudson

Were the two found dead or alive?


[00:31:00] – Nick

They were pretty dead but I can’t tell if they got shot first or chewed on by some of the local flora and fauna first by the way some of the plants also eat because I said flora and fauna.


[00:31:11] – Cameron

[whispers] Yeah the flora kinda of freaked me out. [Steven and Hudson murmur in the background]


[00:31:11] – Laura

Zat is… concerning.


[00:31:15] – Nick

As he says that you hear this weird creaking noise from a tree. He goes not today. He shoots it twice and the tree goes still. That’s right. That’s where these scars are from and he points to some big long ones on his chest.


[00:31:29] – Laura

A tree? [Cameron: wow] Really? Okie, yes.


[00:31:32] – Cameron

Don’t touch trees.


[00:31:33] – Laura

Do [Nick: basically-] not touch ze trees.


[00:31:34] – Nick

If it bleeds you can kill it but it can also kill you. And everything on this planet bleeds.


[00:31:39] – Laura

Okay I was just about ask if ze [Cameron: so we’re-] trees bleed.


[00:31:41] – Cameron

So we’re shooting all the plants?


[00:31:44] – Nick

You don’t- except for the ones you don’t want to make angry. That tree had it coming.


[00:31:49] – Laura

I’m going to stand in ze middle.


[00:31:52] – Nick

So this is why I’m along. I was born and raised here on Unroola Dawn.


[00:31:56] – Cameron

I am finding myself more and more greatful that you’re here Mills.


[00:32:01] – Nick

Me too. He looks confused for a second and then goes back to surveying the scenery. Well you’re on this mission to try and find these deserters so get to finding. And he sets up like a cover position on a tree stump and starts scanning the edges of the perimeter.


[00:32:18] – Laura



[00:32:20] Cameron

[overlapping Laura] I do a perception check [Laura: yeah].


[00:32:21] – Nick

Perception checks would be good. Survival [Laura: Perception checks?] would be [Steven: i was going to roll- ]better overall


[00:32:24] – Steven

-a survival.


[00:32:25] – Cameron

Okay. [Whispers] you roll a survival [Laura: I don’t have survival]


[00:32:26] – Steven

[Whispers] How hard is it to survival?


[00:32:27] – Laura

I can roll survival though


[00:32:28] – Hudson

I’m doing perception.


[00:32:30] – Steven

How hard is the survival mister master?


[00:32:34] – Laura

I’ll do perception


[00:32:34] – Nick

-uhhhh- average.


[00:32:36] – Laura

It’s not dark or anything, is it?


[00:32:38] – Nick



[00:32:38] – Laura



[00:32:39] – Nick

there’s a lot of undergrowth but perception will be hard. [Dice sounds] Survival will be average.  So that’s three purples.


[00:32:46] – Hudson

So three successes, two threats [dice sounds]


[00:32:47] – Steven

That’s two successes and a threat


[00:32:51] – Laura



[00:32:51] – Cameron

That was a survival, yeah?


[00:32:55] – Steven



[00:32:55] – Laura



[00:32:57] – Cameron

Alright here comes my perception roll. [dice sounds]


[00:33:00] – Laura

Okay so I [Cameron: he got a ?-hard to hear-?] rolled a perception and it’s definitely a Cam-roll. It’s a triumph with the success cancelled out and a threat.


[00:33:10] – Nick

  1. [Dice sounds]


[00:33:13] – Cameron



[00:33:13] – Hudson

Then I have-


[00:33:13] – Nick

[overlapping Hudson] any threats or anything?


[00:33:15] – Cameron

Nope, just failures.


[00:33:15] – Nick

Total wash- or just failures


[00:33:17] – Hudson

I had two successes and two threats.


[00:33:20] – Nick

Okay so with the successful survival check by Sabos you find a trail through some- they look like palms except when you look on the underside there’s a bunch of teeth hanging down but they’re kind of bent back and broken and there’s a tree with a blaster mark in it that doesn’t look like a ricochet it looks like someone shot this tree and you see a little trail of like footsteps with a little bit of blood leading off at about a 45 degree angle to the left like more west than the way you were driving but still the same general direction you guys were going. With the successful perception check Tink you see the same thing. [guitar music in background] So you and Sabos are standing on the edge of the clearing. Pointing like “ok yeah I see this” and he’s able to chime in with his survival skills of “you can tell from here that they were hurt because they’re bleeding


[00:34:08] – Cameron



[00:34:10] – Nick

And then [Hudson: didn’t pick up on that]


[00:34:11] – Laura

-uh-hu- yeah


[00:34:13] – Nick

-all of those threats kick in right about now. And you hear a horrific screeching noise and a bunch of what looked like monkeys drop out of the trees straight down onto you. You look at about four of them and what they look like is capuchin monkeys but with no legs or arms or tails. And on that- where their tail would be is a like a hooked kind of crab claw looking thing and on their tummies are whole bunches of like millipedes legs. But you don’t get to see a very good look at that because they’re dropping towards your faces. And this is where Xianna’s triumph kicks in that she happens to be looking up because she’s looking around it’s like I don’t see shit and-


[00:34:53] – Laura

that is not why I’m here. I am here to steal things, the bounty hunter and survivalist person can look at trees.


[00:35:00] – Nick

Yeah. And so you’re looking up tapping your foot and you see these things drop out of the sky. So you get a shot before a vigilance roll.


[00:35:06] – Laura

Oh shit yeah I’m gonna pull out my gun and shoot them. I also my gun has quickdraw in it so


[00:35:15] – Nick

Nice, the gun has quick draw?


[00:35:16] – Laura

Filed frontsight gives you the innate talent of quickdraw but it does increase the difficulty of checks beyond short.


[00:35:25] – Nick



[00:35:26] – Laura

So umm


[00:35:27] – Nick

Their medium.


[00:35:28] – Laura

Their medium? okay. So that’s an-


[00:35:29] – Nick



[00:35:30] – Laura

by one.


[00:35:31] – Nick

It doesn’t  upgrade it increases? So would that make it a hard shot?


[00:35:34] – Laura

Increases difficulty of checks beyond short range by 1.


[00:35:38] – Nick

So you get a shot off while they’re still at range and then you also get to roll initiative so you might get another shot off before they actually land.


[00:35:45] – Laura

And I shoot.


[00:35:45] – Hudson

So is our first battle going to be four monkeys?


[00:35:47] – Nick



[00:35:49] – Hudson

That’s great.


[00:35:50] – Nick

Hey man don’t- don’t shit all over my encounters.


[00:35:53] – Hudson

No! I’m saying it’s great.


[00:35:53] – Steven

[overlapping Hudson] and they’re pretty tasty.


[00:35:55] – Nick

Good connection.


[00:35:58] – Laura

[Whispers]now hold on. [Regular volume] So that goes away. And then- So one failure three advantages.


[00:36:04] – Nick

Okay so you miss. How would you like to spend those advantages? You can give people blue die. You can change the environment.


[00:36:13] – Laura

I’m gonna give whoever shoots next an advantage or a blue die just by the fact that me shooting them let’s everyone know where they are.


[00:36:23] – Nick

Yeah I think that’s fair.


[00:36:26] – Cameron

[whispers] and you say oh shit!


[00:36:27] – Laura

I do yell like oh shit!


[00:36:29] – Nick

So I need you all to roll vigilance for me please.


[00:36:34] – Steven

Oh wonderful. [dice sounds] [muttering]


[00:36:40] – Cameron

Two advantages for karma.


[00:36:41] – Hudson

One advantage.


[00:36:42] – Laura

Two successes and one advantage.


[00:36:45] – Steven

Two advantages.


[00:36:47] – Nick

Wow ya’ll are really bad. Could you roll me a yellow and a green for Mills please?


[00:36:53] – Cameron

A triumph and a succ- two success and a triumph.


[00:36:56] – Nick

Okay so Mills is going to go first.


[00:36:59] – Steven

Triumphs don’t include successes


[00:36:59] – Cameron

Yes they do. A triumph includes [Steven: They do?] a success


[00:37:04] – Steven

Oh but not an advantage?


[00:37:05] – Cameron

Not an advantage.


[00:37:05] – Steven



[00:37:06] – Cameron

Cause a Triumph is the better advantage.


[00:37:08] – Steven



[00:37:10] – Cameron



[00:37:10] – Nick

If you could go ahead and roll me… his shooting is two greens and a yellow. [dice sounds] And it’s an average check but he gets a blue die for reasons. [dice sounds]


[00:37:24] – Cameron

that is…. 5 advantages. [Multiple speakers: OOhh]


[00:37:30] – Hudson

Was that blue die from Laura or for other reasons?


[00:37:32] – Nick

No. the blue- [Cameron: other reasons] I didn’t take the blue die. The blue guy so he hears oh shit and immediately action rolls and lands in the middle and points up and starts shooting, sees that he’s not going to be able to move his arms fast enough but he’s so comfortable with the jungle and having been raised there his whole life, he immediately shoots down in a circle around him and you realize his blaster is a fully automatic modified rifle and so he shoots -chhh-chh-chh-chh- and it sprays a whole bunch of dead leaves and stuff into the air and makes like a weird smokey screen thing where anything that might be trying to land on you wouldn’t be able to see as well. So he’s going to spend all of his advantages that the first round any attack that they do is going to have a black die and there’s four of them and four of y’all. So that’s pretty good. So that was Mills, being awesome and he spits to the side and says I hate bug monkeys.


[00:38:25] – Cameron

Oh, these are the cute things? Whattt?


[00:38:28] – Laura

Zese are not cute.


[00:38:28] – Nick

And it’s the next person’s turn.


[00:38:32] – Laura

I had two successes and an advantage. Karma should use that first PC slot.


[00:38:37] – Nick

OK so one PC slot.


[00:38:40] – Cameron

Are they still at medium?


[00:38:41] – Nick

Uh, by now they’re at short range.


[00:38:43] – Cameron



[00:38:43] – Nick

So they’re probably like 5 or 6 feet above your head at this point.


[00:38:47] – Cameron

I’mma shoot them.


[00:38:47] – Laura

Shoot ’em real good.


[00:38:49] – Nick



[00:38:50] – Cameron

With my blaster. I’m going take the blue die.


[00:38:51] – Laura



[00:38:53] – Cameron

From Xianna [dice sounds]


[00:38:53] – Nick

Do you want to aim? Could use a maneuver to aim.


[00:38:56] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Oh hey- I’ll use a maneuver to aim.


[00:38:57] – Nick

What a great idea! [Cameron: another blue die] Let’s use the game.


[00:39:01] – Cameron

[dice sounds] Oh right, we’re plaing a game.  Two successes two advantages.


[00:39:06] – Nick

Okay how much damage is that?


[00:39:09] – Cameron

So that is 11 damage. I want to- so I shoot one of the bug monkeys. 11 damage. For my advantages I want to shoot that monkey into one of its friends to knock it off course so it doesn’t land on someone.


[00:39:25] – Nick

OK it will have a black die on it’s attack [Cameron: yeah] but it’s because it’s corpse fell into it. So the bolt- you’re using military grade hardware here so it basically turns into a donut of a bug monkey and the shrapnel spins into another one and you heara -eeep-. And then it continues to fall in bullet time and looks like it’s 4 now 3 times NPC slots. So the first one is going to fall directly onto Sabos’s face and I need- Do you have defense of any kind.


[00:39:58] – Steven



[00:39:59] – Nick

All right. Can you roll me an average difficulty two green die?


[00:40:05] – Steven



[00:40:06] – Nick

With a black die because it can’t see very good [Dice sounds]


[00:40:11] – Cameron

A failure and 3 advantages.


[00:40:13] – Nick

Okay it will give the advantage- it’ll use the advantages they have some sort of weird sonar thing going on. So it misses but it begins chittering to one of its friends who is also landing right now on Tink’s face. Tink, do you have any defense or anything?


[00:40:28] – Hudson

Mine shows blank so I don’t think so. I don’t know if I ever calculated-


[00:40:32] – Laura

You don’t. No because you have no armor or anything.


[00:40:35] – Nick

Okay so the same thing but with a black die but also a blue die. [dice sounds]


[00:40:43] – Cameron

Failure, three advantages.


[00:40:45] – Nick

Okay well it’s going to use those three advantages to super boost the last one that is falling straight for Xianna. It’s the one that she missed the first time. And it’s also the one that got hit with the shrapnel, so it’s black die but two blue die.


[00:41:01] – Cameron

Okay [dice sounds] four failures and an advantage.


[00:41:08] – Nick

Wow these things suck.


[00:41:10] – Cameron

I roll so well. This is great.


[00:41:13] – Nick

Next time Hudson’s rolling for the bad guys.


[00:41:14] – Laura

Xianna is also yelling like no not my face!


[00:41:18] – Nick

So it comes flying down. The advantage is that you flinch away because these things are kind of gross looking. You flinch away, it lands to the ground but you’re kind of off balance for if you try to shoot it so you’ll have a black die on your next attack. But it looks up at you and bares its teeth and hisses -hisssss- and it has those same giant red bug eyes where you would expect cute little monkey eyes to be.


[00:41:41] – Laura



[00:41:41] – Nick

And it’s tail has that like lobster claw thing on and in a click Satchu a little bit. And now there are 3 more PC slots. So who would like to go next. These things are now on the ground. One bounced off her Sabos without really doing much one bounced off a Tink and the other one just went -eehhheeee- -bomp- also threw away from the Xianna. Okay so Sabos is going to try and shoot one of these things.


[00:42:06] – Steven



[00:42:07] – Nick

Does the full rifle have any negatives for close range? So this thing is engaged with you because it well- not engaged [Cameron and Laura: awwwwwww] like you’re going to get married.


[00:42:16] – Laura

Tell us- how did it propose?


[00:42:18] – Steven

It did. It dropped out of the sky on my face.


[00:42:20] – Laura

Aww. It dropped down on one knee and presented a ring.


[00:42:24] – Nick

So it is-


[00:42:25] – Cameron

Of teeth.


[00:42:26] – Laura

With a beautiful jewel of Yavin on it.


[00:42:28] – Nick

It is at Engaged range and that means because you have your big giant rifle that it is plus two difficulties. So instead of an easy check it’s a hard check.


[00:42:38] – Steven



[00:42:38] – Nick

Yeah. Shoot that thing or you could try to shoot one across the place from you and it would only be those are in medium range across the clearing. That’s the word I was trying to use but that means the one that tried to kill you-


[00:42:50] – Steven

[overlapping Nick] Nah, I’ll shoot the one lclose to me.


[00:42:50] – Nick

Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. [dice sounds]


[00:42:52] – Cameron

You wanna flip a lightside point?


[00:42:54] – Steven

Yeah, can I upgrade one of my die?


[00:42:59] – Nick

Oooohh. Fancy. [dice sounds] [group laughter]


[00:43:05] – Steven

Well there’s a failure and… advantage.


[00:43:07] – Nick

So you miss, this thing hisses at you. How would you like to spend your advantage?


[00:43:11] – Steven

It is pissed off at someone else.


[00:43:15] – Nick

I think that would take more than one advantage.


[00:43:17] – Cameron

You can give the next person a blue die.


[00:43:19] – Laura



[00:43:19] – Steven

Yeah let’s do that.


[00:43:20] – Laura



[00:43:21] – Steven

Or just like it slips in the leaves and shit.


[00:43:23] – Nick

I like that it slips in the leaves. You could give it a black die for that.


[00:43:26] – Steven



[00:43:27] – Nick

So yeah it’s a little dazed. It’ll be harder to hit you.


[00:43:30] – Cameron

Your shot fires up some leaves and they land on top of it.


[00:43:34] – Steven

That’ll work.


[00:43:34] – Cameron

So now it has to dig its way out.


[00:43:36] – Nick

It’s covered in the leaves you just see the pincer claw come up and then it’s like the old vampire myth. It’s picking up one leaf at a time to set it aside.


[00:43:43] – Laura

Oh, it’s got to count all the leaves now.


[00:43:46] – Nick

All right. And onto whoever’s going next.


[00:43:48] – Hudson

I want to go next because I have a vibro-axe, so I was built for this type of battle.


[00:43:52] – Nick

Oh yeah ok.


[00:43:53] – Cameron

Against tiny monkeys.


[00:43:54] – Hudson

Against tiny monkeys. So what- the one that landed me, where is that- is that one….


[00:43:58] – Nick

It’s just like in the grass next to you scuttling around and hissing.


[00:44:01] – Hudson

I just try to go -wack- and hit it with my vibro-axe.


[00:44:05] – Nick

Makes sense. Your difficulty will be two purples. [dice sounds]


[00:44:13] – Hudson

Oh, wait, [Cameron: nice] a success. And…


[00:44:16] – Cameron



[00:44:17] – Laura

Just a-


[00:44:17] – Cameron

Just a success.


[00:44:18] – Hudson

Just a success. Okay.



Okay. How much damage does your vibro-axe do?


[00:44:21] – Hudson

It does Brawn plus 3 and my brawn is 3 so 6.


[00:44:25] – Nick

  1. So you-


[00:44:25] – Hudson

Crit two.


[00:44:27] – Nick

Well you-


[00:44:27] – Laura

[overlapping Nick] you don’t have any.


[00:44:27] – Nick

But no, that’s good to [Hudson: I’m just letting you know] know. Thank you. I appreciate that, you cut it cleanly in half and the two halves fall to the ground and skitter off in several directions and then fall down and finished dying.


[00:44:38] – Hudson

Ahh [Nick makes hissing noises] didn’t know they worked like that. That’s that’s an interesting to know.


[00:44:45] – Cameron

Question, on melee do you add the number of successes to your damage?


[00:44:48] – Nick



[00:44:48] – Cameron

As well. Okay. So it’s actually one more damage than that.


[00:44:52] – Nick

Okay so that leaves Xianna left.


[00:44:55] – Laura

Yeah I’m going to aim at the one in front of me and then shoot it.


[00:45:00] – Nick



[00:45:01] – Laura

Would it be short range by now?


[00:45:02] – Nick



[00:45:03] – Laura



[00:45:05] – Nick

It missed, so it’s not engaged with you but it is short range.


[00:45:09] – Laura

Uhh- What is short range? Average?


[00:45:11] – Cameron

Two, yeah.


[00:45:13] – Laura

And then… where is my shooting? [dice sounds] That would be 5 successes and 1 threat.


[00:45:25] – Nick

Wow. So that does what, like 11 damage?


[00:45:29] – Laura

Uhh- 6… Yes. 11.


[00:45:32] – Nick

Dang I’m good. Yeah it explodes in a puff of like purply venom with a small monkey -eep-.


[00:45:40] – Laura



[00:45:40] – Nick

Yeah. There’s like a smoking- like one little stream of smoke out of a crater from where the monkey used to be. It is gone. You shot it real good. And now we’re back to the top. Mills looks around and says I’ll make sure there’s not more of them. And he goes like running off into the jungle.


[00:46:00] – Laura

Nooo Where you’re going? They’re still in here. And Xianna’s like pointing like at the claw like what? nooo.


[00:46:07] – Nick

And he – you hear a tree creaking, like shut up tree -pew pew- and then goes running off. And that guns to a PC slot.


[00:46:15] – Steven



[00:46:17] – Nick

  1. That’s the one by you. You gonna shoot him?


[00:46:20] – Steven

I’m going to try to stab it with my vibrokinfe.


[00:46:22] – Nick

  1. I’m so excited. So the [Cameron: so that’s melee, so melee is-] difficulty is two.


[00:46:27] – Cameron

-always two.


[00:46:28] – Nick

Thank you, Rules Expert.


[00:46:30] – Cameron

You’re welcome.


[00:46:31] – Steven

Should I upgrade? I don’t know. [dice sounds] out of


[00:46:37] – Cameron

You should have upgraded.


[00:46:39] – Steven

So it’s a failure, two advantages [Cameron: two advantages] yeah.


[00:46:44] – Nick

I like this monkey thing, so how would you like to spend your two advantages?


[00:46:47] – Steven

It’s buried again.


[00:46:49] – Nick

  1. It’s more under the dirt. So it’s going to-


[00:46:53] – Steven

It’s really buried.


[00:46:54] – Nick

It’s going to spend its manouver digging itself out of the dirt I guess it’ll still have a black die and it’s going to attack you, Sabos, and it is…  two greens.


[00:47:06] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] Alright, Hudson you have to roll this time for the monkey.


[00:47:08] – Hudson

Opp- you’re right. [whispers] What do I roll?


[00:47:09] – Nick

Yeah. Two greens and two purples with one black die. [dice sounds]


[00:47:17] – Hudson

One success two threats.


[00:47:20] – Nick

Yayyyy! [Steven: aw] good job bug monkey.


[00:47:21] – Hudson

3 blank die rolls.


[00:47:21] – Nick

Geeze. That’s weird. Okay you said one success and two-


[00:47:27] – Cameron

Two threats.


[00:47:27] – Nick

Two threats. So here’s what happens. It finally jumps up out of this- You see from where it jumps. It’s actually in like a two foot hole at this point because you keep bearing it further and it latches onto your chest and it opens its mouth and it does that really creepy unfolding thing and some mandibles come out and sink into your chest. And it does, with one success, seven damage.


[00:47:50] – Steven

Oh, of course.


[00:47:51] – Cameron

So hits your soak. So you take 3 wounds.


[00:47:55] – Nick

And it’s super excited and it makes happy gloating monkey noises, you all see this thing latch on to Sabos and stab him with its weird monkey bug mouth.


[00:48:04] – Laura

AH! Zat is not good!


[00:48:06] – Hudson



[00:48:06] – Nick

And so while its head is sunk into the chest, the claw tail is snipping at all of you. -click click click-. Who’s next?


[00:48:14] – Cameron

[overlapping Nick] So next is a PC slot?


[00:48:16] – Nick

Yup, PC slot.


[00:48:17] – Cameron

Okay. So Karma looks at Sabos and then looks down at her gun and then is like well all right let’s do this [group laughter] and aims her blaster carbine at his face.


[00:48:30] – Nick

Okay. Which is especially interesting since it’s on his chest.


[00:48:34] – Steven

Because a knife wouldn’t work.


[00:48:35] – Nick

She’s like it would be a mercy to put him down.


[00:48:38] – Cameron

I’m aiming at the monkey. Xianna’s looking at Karma look down at her gun, And then Xianna also looks over at Sabos. And is like ohhhnoooo.


[00:48:52] – Cameron

Okay. So there’s no blue dice left or anything right? I’m sure you’ll be fine.


[00:48:56] – Steven



[00:48:58] – Cameron

I am going to upgrade it so that I have less of a chance… of shooting you.


[00:49:03] – Steven

Yup. [Cameron: on accident] [dice sounds]


[00:49:07] – Cameron

I’m sure it’ll be fine. See? Look you’re fine. Uh one success. [group laughter]


[00:49:13] – Nick

Oh that was close. So close.


[00:49:15] – Laura

Yeah one success.


[00:49:17] – Nick



[00:49:17] – Cameron

So that’s 10 damage to the monkey.


[00:49:20] – Nick

OK so you shoot him shoot the monkey in the back of the head and it splatters its guts on to Sabos’s chest and falls to the ground. The force transfers into you a little bit. It knocks you back, it feels like you got punched by somebody who wasn’t trying to hurt you too bad but it was real scary. And the monkey is now dead at your feet. The bug monkey. That’s the races name, bug monkey. And by race I mean animal species. Because this is not a sentient creature


[00:49:49] – Cameron

From Sabos’s point of view you just saw me look at you look at my gun and kind of shrug and just raise my gun and point it at you no biggie.


[00:49:59] – Steven

Yup, yup.


[00:50:01] – Cameron

So you feel loved.


[00:50:03] – Steven

I appreciate you getting the monkey off me.


[00:50:07] – Cameron

You’re welcome. You should try shooting it next time.


[00:50:09] – Steven

I- -hmmhmm-


[00:50:13] – Hudson

Missed the opportunity to say you got a monkey on your front, instead of on your back. That wouldn’t have been a good joke. [Laura laughs]


[00:50:20] – Nick



[00:50:20] – Laura

Is okay.


[00:50:21] – Nick

Sabo is standing there and he’s got a big purple splotch on his chest. And as you’re watching you see some red kind of seep out of two pretty good sized holes in his chest.


[00:50:32] – Laura

Do you ‘ave medical supplies for yourself?


[00:50:36] – Steven



[00:50:36] – Laura

-sighs- dummie. You owe me. And like from- she like rummages around her pockets until she finds a stim pack and like walks up and just like jabs it into his throat and you heal five wounds.


[00:50:55] – Steven

That should do it.


[00:50:56] – Nick

So the stem packs are just like pocket morphine and adrenaline so it doesn’t- the bleeding kind of stops because they have stuff for that but there’s still some holes in your chest you’re able to manage but you feel great.


[00:51:09] – Laura

Well you- you heal five wounds then four then three then two than one then they don’t work.


[00:51:13] – Nick

Yeah they become less useful but so yayy drugs, you’re able to kind of shrug it off. Mills comes charging back into the clearing and he’s got like seven more of those monkey things in various states of exploded held by the tail. And he’s like here I got the rest of them they were trying to make an ambush. These things are wily suckers. And he says so if we scatter these around the clearing. We’ve been driving for not that long but I think we probably need to set up so we can- we can plan from here. And he sets about scattering all the monkey guts around the clearing that’ll keep the trees from coming after us for a while.


[00:51:54] – Steven

I don’t believe the trees. How do they move?


[00:51:57] – Cameron

Are the trees going to go after the monkeys instead?


[00:51:59] – Nick

No they just don’t like the smell and it’ll keep the other monkeys away.


[00:52:03] – Cameron

[whispers] the trees don’t like the smell?


[00:52:04] – Laura

Xianna is so concerned at this point. She’s like ze trees? What is zis planet? What are we doing on here?


[00:52:10] – Nick

Oh I forgot to mention Mills has a headband tied around his forehead like a red long one. And like jungle cammo paint on his face which he did not have two minutes ago and he’s I’ve seen some things in the jungle. So let’s- let’s make camp here for just a minute, come up with a plan. It looks like you guys saw something and then we’ll move on and


[00:52:31] – Cameron



[00:52:32] – Nick

And that’s where we’ll end this week’s episode.


[00:52:37] – Nick



[00:52:37] – Multiple Speakers



[00:52:41] – Steven

Just like half a step off.



Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five star review. Five star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.



Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at Cheerio_buffet.



Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at HudsonJameson.



Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at MidnightMusic13.



Sabos Niks was played by Steven Schroeder. He does not exist on the internet.



Our game master is Nick Robertson and you can find him on Twitter at alias58. Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot. Additional music by James Gunter.



Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at tabletop_squad. For real we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out. See you next time.





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