Transcript: S2 Episode 4: Work Duty

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript – Season 2, Episode 4:
Work Duty

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they hunt for galactic treasure, staying away from a bitter rival and growing closer together.

The Virtual Tabletop Squadron Convention will be July 30 through August 2. Yay~! We already have several guests signed on to talk about everything from game design to group world building. The con events will be mostly organized through Twitch and Discord. Regular panels will be open to everyone, and free! A few after hours events will be for Tabletop Squadron Patreon exclusives. Panels will cover RPGs, podcasting, Star Wars, and Tabletop Squadron specifically. A full schedule will be out at the beginning of July.

I’ll also be running a game! It’s official. The plan is that when the schedule for the con goes live we’ll also have a Google Form where you can sign up to play an Edge of the Empire game run by me. If you fill out the form you’ll be entered in a lottery to be one of the four players. Patrons who sign up will get two entries as a thank you, and then players will be selected at random from the pool. The form will be open for the first week of July, so watch our social media for more info.

You can also buy a limited edition con shirt at I know that’s a lot. We are very excited to see everyone.

Also, we have a new patron this week. Donavon Seitzinger, thank you so much for supporting the show. We have a special task for someone with your detailed skills. Sentinel found a Jedi library in the Outer Rim, and we need someone to go gather ancient intel. Think you have the time to swing out there and see what’s up? Here’s a bull whip and a fedora if that helps. Thanks!

Music credit and content warnings are available in the show notes this week.

So now, let’s get into the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 4! Welcome back. I hope that you had a lovely week. … Yup.

CAMERON: [snickers]

NICK: We’re gonna go around the table. Everybody introduced themselves and say who you’re playing today, starting with Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I’m Cameron, and I’m playing Karma Nailo, the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Wonderful. Up next we’ve got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hey folks! Nick, it’s great to be back on here.


HUDSON: I’m playing Huds—I am Hudson…


HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson. I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: Great to have you. I’m glad you’re bringing that kind of energy to our session today.

HUDSON: It’s very confusing energy, but it’s coming here.


NICK: Last but not least, we’ve got Lilit.

LILIT: Hello. I am Lilit, not Hudson, and I will be playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.

NICK: Wonderful! So, before we get started, let’s do the Destiny Roll.

CAMERON: Two light side.

LILIT: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side. I saved the day once again.

CAMERON: Hey. So we have four light side and one dark side.

NICK: Four light side and one dark side. Alright.

When we last left off, Tink was still stuck in solitary confinement playing the harmonica, Karma decided to make friends with a large Herglic named Blue but was found by Ziller, the bounty that she had turned in previously, and Xianna, you found a childhood friend, Tadzi’texa, who was gambling, and they lost on the roll playing Rancor Roundup, and some things happened, and you ended up being involved in a very large prison riot that concluded with Karma and Xianna also being thrown into solitary confinement for an indeterminate amount of time.

So, we open on a comic book looking panel of Karma and Xianna and Tink and Sentinel kind of in a four-panel on the screen, and you’re all sitting in these dark, featureless rooms leaning against the walls, and you are all slightly chilly and you don’t know how long you’ve been here. After a long period of silence while you think about your situation you decide to have a conversation.

CAMERON (as Karma): I think we should have a conversation.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: Great. Thanks.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. Conversations are good.

CAMERON (as Karma): How have you been, Sentinel?

NICK (as Sentinel): Oh, I’ve been imprisoned.

CAMERON (as Karma): Hey, us too.

NICK (as Sentinel): It’s been pretty kriffy.

LILIT (as Xianna): Samesies.

NICK (as Sentinel): I do have to say, it’s kind of a strange coincidence that you are all imprisoned here…

CAMERON (as Karma): It really is, isn’t it?

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, it is such a coincidence. Oh! I am winking. Nobody can see me winking through the little crack in the wall, but please note that I am winking.

HUDSON (as Tink): Strange coincidence is what I was described as growing up.


CAMERON (as Karma): Okay?

LILIT (as Xianna): What is the coincidence part? I understand the strange, but…

HUDSON (as Tink): The coincidence? Oh. Sometimes I’m just there, you know?

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, yeah. Okay.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay… huh.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah…

NICK (as Sentinel): In my line of work I don’t believe in coincidences. We may be monitored, so you’re gonna wanna watch what you have to say, but I have a feeling you’ll be released from solitary much quicker than I will.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh yes, because we were just involved in a yard riot, so we usually don’t stay too long in solitary for that.

NICK (as Sentinel): There was a yard riot and a fight in the commissary on the same day?

CAMERON (as Karma): Well…

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, and I had nothing to do with the yard riot.

CAMERON (as Karma): Um, well…

LILIT (as Xianna): I actually really did not.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, you were good. You were just like, you were near, but that was it. I may have gotten recognized as a bounty hunter, possibly.

HUDSON (as Tink): Which was cooler, the commissary fight or the yard riot?

CAMERON (as Karma): Hmm.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well so the commissary is where you go buy things.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, oh, I thought—

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah. Your fight was in the cafeteria.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, yeah.

LILIT (as Xianna): Our fight is in the cafeteria.

HUDSON (as Tink): I got them confused.

LILIT (as Xianna): It’s okay. There is a lot of weird words in prison.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, I’m learning them every day. So which one was more neat, the fight in the cafeteria or the fight in the yard?

LILIT (as Xianna): The cafeteria.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, the cafeteria had the smoke that added a lot to the atmosphere.

LILIT (as Xianna): I did not get stunned in the cafeteria either.

CAMERON (as Karma): Also a very good point, and I did not get hit with a free weight in the cafeteria.

LILIT (as Xianna): Though I did get a bag of Spunyuns in the yard riot.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ooh, nice.

LILIT (as Xianna): I’m just really excited about those.

HUDSON (as Tink): I can see why. I mean, we get nothing but slop in here. I’m pretty much dying.

CAMERON (as Karma): Hey, pudding cups.

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, I was hoping for a pudding cup, but this is good too.

HUDSON (as Tink): Pudding cups are okay, but they’re just…

CAMERON (as Karma): [gasps] Whoa. Watch what you say.

LILIT (as Xianna): Pudding cups are more than just okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): I mean, they’re not like bantha cakes.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, fair.

LILIT (as Xianna): But they don’t have bantha cakes in here, they have pudding cups.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, because they want even more punishment on us.

CAMERON (as Karma): It’s still not a punishment.

LILIT (as Xianna): Pudding cups are the best thing.

HUDSON (as Tink): [reluctantly] Alright.

CAMERON (as Karma): Besides bantha cakes.

LILIT (as Xianna): They are like a real currency in here.

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s true. I guess they are a form of currency. I don’t want to get into a debate on what is or is not currency.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, Prison Lesson #1: Pudding cups are very valuable.

HUDSON (as Tink): I see, but where is the value derived? People… It’s just out of thin air.

LILIT (as Xianna): Because they are good, especially the chocolate. I will take a tapioca, but chocolate is very much better.

HUDSON (as Tink): If you can print unlimited pudding cups then where does the value come from?

LILIT (as Xianna): The pudding!

NICK (as Sentinel): Well, it’s because you can only generate the pudding mathematically, and the energy and time taken to calculate the pudding cups is where the rarity and therefore the value comes from.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh…

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh my gosh.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, I think they use nerf milk and like some sort of thickener, like corn starch or something. I don’t know what the tapioca is.

{“Thickener” sounds like “sickener” with Xianna’s accent.}

HUDSON (as Tink): I’ve never gotten sick from them, but…

LILIT (as Xianna): Is it fish eggs?

CAMERON (as Karma): That’s what I always thought when I was younger, but that may have just been a Glee Anselm thing.

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, fish eggs are good, so I don’t care and I don’t see why people think that is gross, but I still like them.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm.

NICK (as Sentinel): Doesn’t it come out of Gamorrean bones? Isn’t that where they get the glycerin?

LILIT (as Xianna): That’s for jello.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah. That’s not pudding.

LILIT (as Xianna): Pudding doesn’t have the gelatin, but I think the gelatin does come from those.

CAMERON (as Karma): Wait, you’re putting glycerin in your pudding?

NICK (as Sentinel): I just assumed that’s what makes it gloopy.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, it’s what makes the jello all squiggly.

NICK (as Sentinel): Oh, my mistake, I got gloopy and squibbly confused.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. Pudding I think is just corn starch and heated milk up with like eggs or something.

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh, Sentinel, why do you think we’re getting out of here?

NICK (as Sentinel): Like they said earlier, if it was just being involved in a riot they’ll probably be taken out in a few days. The important thing is to just try to remain centered and emotionally balanced.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well, he is some sort of political prisoner probably, so they are just going to keep him forever.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yes. I will probably be in here for a long… long time.

HUDSON (as Tink): Can’t you just use your magic hands to get out?

CAMERON: [snickers]

NICK (as Sentinel): I do not know to what you are referring, as if I possessed any sort of extra-physical abilities I would be quickly murdered.

CAMERON (as Karma): He’s just talking about your lock picking skills.

LILIT (as Xianna): You know what he means by magic hands, wink-wink, because you can’t see me winking.

NICK (as Sentinel): You can’t see, but I look extremely uncomfortable right now.

CAMERON (as Karma): Cappy says hi by the way.

NICK (as Sentinel): Oh—Oh good. Yes, our dear friend Cappy.

CAMERON (as Karma): Speaking of magic hands. [chuckles]

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh yes, Chappy talked to us.

NICK (as Sentinel): Cappy saw Karma, and Cappy saw Xianna, so I’m assuming Cappy spoke to Tink as well?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, I talked to Cappy as well.

NICK (as Sentinel): I’m beginning to see that the Force works in not-so-mysterious ways at times.

CAMERON (as Karma): [chuckles]

LILIT (as Xianna): It’s really not. It was that Chappy came and talked to all of us.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yeah, that—So…


LILIT (as Xianna): That is not mysterious in any way.

NICK (as Sentinel): That’s what I’m saying, not mysterious.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, he was saying not mysterious.

NICK (as Sentinel): It’s pretty straightforward.

LILIT (as Xianna): I know, but I just feel like most of the times you say it works in mysterious ways it really isn’t.

NICK (as Sentinel): Sometimes it’s mysterious. It’s like the whole point of the Force is being mysterious.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): Sometimes it’s mysterious. Sometimes it’s gas.


LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, you got to stop eating fish.

HUDSON (as Tink): I know. It’s so good though.

LILIT (as Xianna): But you can’t do it.

HUDSON (as Tink): You’re right.

LILIT (as Xianna): You know what happens.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, tum-tum issues. Anyways, back to Sentinel.


NICK (as Sentinel): If you have seen Cappy—I think I can fill in the blank there—I will probably be here, but on a completely unrelated note, boy I sure do miss freedom. Boy, I sure would like to be outside of prison. That sounds great. If only people could help me with that. I would sure appreciate it.

CAMERON (as Karma): Can’t help you there, buddy. Sorry, we’re in here too.

NICK (as Sentinel): Aw shit.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yup, I know, it’s a real bummer. But you know, sometimes bummers happen in life and you just have to get over them.

HUDSON (as Tink): As a legal professional I could represent you once I’m out of here.

NICK (as Sentinel): When did you get a law degree?

HUDSON (as Tink): I mean, define degree. I think these are all relative terms, but I do practice law.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, you legally cannot, at least not in this sector.

HUDSON (as Tink): Becoming Law, I read it. Well, I mean, I skimmed it.

NICK (as Sentinel): That is not a book that you should be using to guide your life in any way.

HUDSON (as Tink): I’m not guiding my life, I’m helping others, like you.

NICK (as Sentinel): I’ve been in solitary for who knows how long at this point, and I’ll take any help I can get. To quote Xianna, I am winking right now.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay but Sentinel, were you ever in the main part of the prison?

NICK (as Sentinel): For a few days.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay. Okay. So, for completely unrelated reasons, let’s just say that I like to be cold and therefore like the AC to be very apparent in a room. What job would be the best one to be in rooms with many vents? Because I like the cold air, wink-wink.

HUDSON (as Tink): Many vents? That’s a ventriloquist is what you’re looking for.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): No~! Tink, I am trying to be sneaky and ask which rooms have lots of vents.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, yeah, I know, I got it. I was trying to do a little joke there.

LILIT (as Xianna): Like, does the laundry room have lots of vents, or would the kitchen have more vents? Probably not the library, right?

NICK (as Sentinel): Actually, it’s a weird coincidence of design. The library is the closest to the central circulation system.

LILIT (as Xianna): Huh.

CAMERON (as Karma): Huh. I guess it is important to have good temperature control for your books.

NICK (as Sentinel): Or they just didn’t plan the layout particularly well when they built this thing.

CAMERON (as Karma): Also fair.

HUDSON (as Tink): Let’s do it this way. Everybody raise your hand if you either are or close to being an HVAC technician.

LILIT (as Xianna): My hand is not raised.

CAMERON (as Karma): My hand is not raised?

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah, okay.

NICK (as Sentinel): Mine neither.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ugh, mine either. Okay, we can’t go that direction. Let’s think of something else.


HUDSON (as Tink): Sentinel, how do you assert dominance in a prison environment?

LILIT (as Xianna): I told you. You try to beat up someone.

HUDSON (as Tink): I did that.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yeah, so you dominated. Good job.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, you are good.

NICK (as Sentinel): Well, did you win?

LILIT (as Xianna): Eh…

HUDSON (as Tink): Eh, no one won. I mean, there’s no winners in a fight.

NICK (as Sentinel): Okay, that means you lost.

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Uh, yes there is. I decidedly won my fight.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well, so they kind of broke up his fight.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh! By the way, Tink, Ziller is here.

HUDSON (as Tink): [gasps] That’s a very important thing that you should have told me earlier.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Why?! We’re sitting in solitary. What are you gonna do with this information?

HUDSON (as Tink): Do we know why he’s here?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, because I turned him in.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ohh, you’re in trouble~

CAMERON (as Karma): And I also know why he’s in solitary, because me and my new friend Blue kicked his ass.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, so he’s in solitary too, alright. Alright, you got him where you want him.

CAMERON (as Karma): Actually, I think he’s in Room 1.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh. Alright, you got him where you want him in the event that your door opens and their door opens.

CAMERON (as Karma): Sure?

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh, Sentinel. Is this one of those weird prisons where the prison warden for some reason has a weird project where they want to have a football team or some shit like that, or is he normal and just stays away and does paperwork?

NICK (as Sentinel): The warden is particularly interested in the politics amongst the prisoners.

LILIT (as Xianna): [heavy sigh]

NICK (as Sentinel): I am not aware if he’s a fan of sports specifically.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, just… the wardens that actually do things are always weird. Shouldn’t they have more paperwork? I feel like this is a job that should be like a huge amount of paperwork and organization and things like that, and scheduling, so like how do they have the time to figure out who all the gangs are and care about their shit?

CAMERON (as Karma): They probably have a very competent staff.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh no, not a prison.

CAMERON (as Karma): It’s all about delegation.

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s a stretch that they would have a system like that in place.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well, he probably just has a whole bunch of assistants.

HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm, yeah, that could be it.

NICK (as Sentinel): I wouldn’t know. I didn’t actually get to meet the warden before I got thrown in here, so…

CAMERON (as Karma): What did you do to end up in here? Just curious.

NICK (as Sentinel): Um, I had a cellmate…

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm?

NICK (as Sentinel): …who threatened me, and now I don’t have a cellmate anymore.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh, did you kill him?

NICK (as Sentinel): That would be indulging in my emotions which would be ill-advised.

HUDSON (as Tink): Now did you kill him or did magic kill him?

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK (as Sentinel): And we’ve come back to this. I’m not going to talk about that. That’s a very bad idea for me.

LILIT (as Xianna): Did you meet Big Jeb?

NICK (as Sentinel): Big Jeyb?

LILIT (as Xianna): Big Jeb, yes.

NICK (as Sentinel): I didn’t interact with Jeyb specifically, but I did see sort of the results of some of his efforts. That is a very, very dangerous man. I would avoid him as much as possible.

CAMERON (as Karma): Is there a Small Jeyb?

NICK (as Sentinel): Not that I know of.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, just curious.

LILIT (as Xianna): Is there like a medium sized Jeyb?

NICK (as Sentinel): That’s the name of his gang. They’re the Medium Sized Jeybs.

CAMERON (as Karma): Huh.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): Actually, his daddy’s Old Jeyb.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well like, that’s Mr. Jeyb.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, so Mr. Old Jeyb.

CAMERON (as Karma): [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): No, just Mr. Jeyb.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah. I’m just gonna call him OJ.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, don’t.


HUDSON (as Tink): No, no, not Jeyb, his dad, if we ever meet him.

CAMERON (as Karma): Why would we meet his dad?

LILIT (as Xianna): Why would we meet his dad? Unless you think his dad is also in prison. That happens sometimes.

HUDSON (as Tink): No, but I mean like, if one thing leads to another and Big Jeyb runs into a knife, a lot… there might be a funeral and then we run into his dad.

CAMERON (as Karma): Um… Why would we go to his funeral?

LILIT (as Xianna): Well, we would not get to go to his funeral, Tink.

NICK (as Sentinel): Because you’re in prison.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. The funeral would be outside the prison. Unless, do you think that is how we are going to get out? We are all going to sneak inside the casket?


CAMERON (as Karma): No, don’t do that. I saw a holo-film that did that once and they cremated, so uh… don’t do that.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, I guess that makes sense, yes.

CAMERON (as Karma): Casket’s not a good place to hide, or hide any money that you’ve acquired.

HUDSON (as Tink): In my will I just get put in a casket and then launched through space.

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t think they do that. I think legally you can’t.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, space junk is very dangerous.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah.

HUDSON (as Tink): Space don’t care.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well no, like…

CAMERON (as Karma): No, but the things that the junk hits do.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, planet regulations and stuff.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, I guess.

NICK (as Sentinel): What part of his past time makes you think he cares about littering regulations?

LILIT (as Xianna): True, I guess.

CAMERON (as Karma): Fair.

HUDSON (as Tink): Past time?

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh, also Sentinel, does anyone in the prison make the prison hooch? You know, the toilet wine?

NICK (as Sentinel): Oh, absolutely.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay. Do you know if the kitchen stocks glass bottles of any sort?

NICK (as Sentinel): I don’t think they do, because most of the shivs would then be made out of broken glass.

LILIT (as Xianna): Well like, you know, if they have large bottles of soy sauce or things like that.

NICK (as Sentinel): Potentially. I was never given a work detail, because I’m a political prisoner now, so I couldn’t tell you.

LILIT (as Xianna): Cool. We need someone to get kitchen duty so they can get glass bottles and kitchen rags, and then we will find the person with the prison hooch.

NICK (as Sentinel): I could tell you who makes the prison hooch.

LILIT (as Xianna): [gasps] yes please.

NICK (as Sentinel): It’s a Klatooinian. He was actually my cellmate, so he should be getting out of the clinic soon.

LILIT (as Xianna): We won’t tell him we know you then.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yeah, I wouldn’t, but his name was Zebadiah Drall.

CAMERON: For those of us who don’t know Star Wars, what is that alien?

NICK: The Klatooinians are like lizard dogs. They were some of the guards when they try to throw Luke to the sarlacc. They work for Jabba.


NICK: Yeah. They look like a Wookie if you shaved all the fur and then painted them green.

CAMERON: It’s like a Wookie and the Grinch had a baby.

NICK: Yeah, that’s a good description.

LILIT: They got like pug faces.

NICK: Uh-huh.

CAMERON: Interesting. Okay, cool. Thank you.

NICK: Yep, there’s your description of Klatooinians. Good luck making that into one cohesive thing, future Nick.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay good, because that way then we can make the Mandalore cocktails.

NICK (as Sentinel): Oh, that’s good.

LILIT (as Xianna): Those are always good for starting riots and distracting the guards and creating big fires.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ooh. I thought we were going out in caskets. How’s the fire gonna—

LILIT (as Xianna): No, we’re not doing caskets anymore.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

LILIT (as Xianna): That was a bad idea, because we might get cremated.

HUDSON (as Tink): Cool, cool.

LILIT (as Xianna): We don’t have a solid plan yet. We are just working on the plan.

NICK (as Sentinel): And of course, this is all us just wishing and dreaming…

CAMERON (as Karma): Well yeah.

NICK (as Sentinel): …because there’s no escape from the cage, and if we were being recorded they would be watching us more closely.

CAMERON (as Karma): Obviously, yeah.

LILIT (as Xianna): Correct. Never broken out of a prison before and I will never do it again.

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): I have also never broken out of a prison before.

LILIT (as Xianna): I was winking for mine. I forgot. Were you winking for yours?

CAMERON (as Karma): I was not winking.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay Tink, what is your wink status for that statement?

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, uh…

LILIT (as Xianna): Wait. You have never been to prison before, so how could you have broken out of one?

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): Never mind. That was a silly question on my part.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah. I was gonna say I didn’t wink, I blinked a little bit. I was just in thought, like what…?

LILIT (as Xianna): That’s different. I’m sorry.

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s okay.

CAMERON (as Karma): Do you know how many guards are at this prison?

NICK (as Sentinel): Nope. Sorry, I didn’t have a lot of time in between the being stunned and thrown into solitary to count the rotations.

LILIT (as Xianna): How quickly did you get thrown into solitary?

NICK (as Sentinel): Took about five hours.

LILIT (as Xianna): Huh.

CAMERON (as Karma): You had a very short time with your roommate then.

NICK (as Sentinel): I sure did.

LILIT (as Xianna): How long did it take us?

CAMERON (as Karma): We got here this morning…

CAMERON: Right? [chuckles]

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t know. What is time?

NICK: It took Tink about six hours, and it took you two about four hours longer than that.

CAMERON: Yeah, there you go.

CAMERON (as Karma): We made it ten hours. We’re golden.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah. That is normal amounts of time.

CAMERON (as Karma): I have zero remorse about ending up in solitary.

LILIT (as Xianna): I have a little bit just because I was not really doing anything for once, so… I should not be here.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, it is interesting that you ended up in here. How did they choose who in the riot ended up in solitary?

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t know.

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… I don’t know.

CAMERON (as Karma): Me, Blue and Ziller make sense. We were the first people to start fighting.

HUDSON (as Tink): You know, I’m just thinking about it, and I don’t know why because I wasn’t there.


LILIT (as Xianna): I wonder if it is because I am your roommate, and so they assume that I am also causing the trouble.

CAMERON (as Karma): Huh.

LILIT (as Xianna): And like, I will cause the trouble, but I was not at the moment.

NICK: So, we cut away from solitary and we do a time jump to four days later, or you assume it would be four days because you’ve been fed twice a day and it’s been eight times, and your durasteel doors pop open and you hear the voice from the little transparesteel cube say:

NICK (as guard): Well, your time is up. You can go ahead and go back to the main population.

LILIT (as Xianna): Hold on! I am still naked!

NICK (as guard): Why are you naked?

LILIT (as Xianna): Because there was no one else around, so if I wanted to take my jumpsuit off to use it as a pillow or make a fun little hat I could.

NICK (as guard): Are you wearing a fun little hat right now?

LILIT (as Xianna): Well not anymore, now I am putting on my jumpsuit.

NICK (as guard): Alright, well take your time I guess. I never really heard people be like yeah, I wanna spend more time in solitary.

CAMERON (as Karma): It was quiet.

LILIT (as Xianna): I am just putting on my jumpsuit! Okay.

LILIT: Xianna walks out while tying the front of it into a jaunty little knot so that she has a fun little deep V cut-out thing going on.

LILIT (as Xianna): See? There. I told you. I was just putting it on, okay? I did not realize we were getting out right now.

NICK: You see as you walk out into the hallway, Karma and Tink, your doors are also open, and further down you see the large shark person that Tink fought and you see Ziller and Blue, and they’re walking towards you.

NICK (as guard): Now just head up and walk down the walkway back to the yard. There will be a guard to meet you there. No pushing, no fighting, no stabbing.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okie, bye~!

NICK: And he goes back to reading his magazine.

NICK (as guard): Bye-bye.

CAMERON (as Karma): Bye Sentinel.

CAMERON: I walk out of my room. [chuckles]

HUDSON (as Tink): Freedom! Bye Sentinel.

LILIT (as Xianna): But we are still in prison, so…

HUDSON (as Tink): I mean, there’s levels of freedom. Also, I don’t know if you noticed all the people around us, but I think that if we can become friends with them they’re our ticket out. We could partner and they could be our ragtag group of breakouts.

NICK: You all are standing at the base of the stairs and you hear plink-plink-plink, and the guard has gotten out of his chair and is looking through the glass with his hands at the group of y’all at the base of the stairs.

NICK (as guard): Can you do me a favor and not plan an escape right in front of me? There’s a whole series of paperwork to do with that. Also, no one escapes the cage.

LILIT (as Xianna): He was not talking about that. He was talking about a game that they are playing with the dice.

HUDSON (as Tink): Called the Great Escape.

NICK (as guard): Oh yeah, it’s what you might call one of them ironic names. I gotcha.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah. You have to like try to steal the dice from somebody else’s hands, and it’s got a whole bunch of lingo, and he is just talking about that game. We are going to go now because this is weird.

NICK (as guard): Yes. Please get out of my solitary. Thank you.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okie bye. Okie Tink, we have to go.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright!

NICK: So you all climb the stairs. We get a shot of this group of various dissenters blinking in the bright afternoon sun as you walk along the chain link hallway that leads back to the prison yard. When you get there you see that HK and another guard are waiting at the gate, and they open it, and they start to lead you back towards the south cell block. HK waggles a finger at everybody.

NICK (as HK): Now remember, inmates cannot talk during the transfer process. Please walk silently.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okie baby hands.

NICK: HK’s blaster starts to charge and he walks towards you and pushes you in the chest with the gun.

NICK (as HK): Say that again, stranger I don’t know who wouldn’t know that I’m sensitive about that.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): Say what again?

NICK: The other guard grabs HK under the arms and drags him backwards.

NICK (as guard): Whoa, whoa, don’t shoot them. They just got out of solitary. We don’t wanna have to drag them back down there. I’m sure she didn’t mean it. Your hands are normal size.

CAMERON: [snickers]

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, your hands are a completely normal size for a droid as big as you are, and I will stop talking now.

CAMERON: Karma is nodding very seriously behind Xianna.

HUDSON: [laughs] I’m just smiling.

LILIT: Xianna does the little zip and lock hand motion over her mouth then just does a big smile.

NICK: So you all walk behind the guards as they lead the way back to the south cell block for everybody to be put back in their cells. HK is whistling, but it’s very mechanical sounding and weird.

NICK (as HK): [buzzy whistling]

NICK: Then the other guard elbows him.

NICK (as guard): Hey, do you know what happened to Smith? We haven’t seen him in like four or five days. I don’t know where he went, but no one can seem to find him. I’m getting a little worried.

NICK (as HK): Unassuming Statement: I have no idea what could have happened to Smith, the prison guard.

CAMERON: Karma turns a slightly lighter shade of green which is the equivalent of her face going white as she realizes what happened.

LILIT: Xianna looks over at Karma and Tink and is moving her lekku in the symbol for “did we do that” but I don’t know if Tink or Karma would understand the lekku symbols at all.

HUDSON (as Tink): What are you saying?

LILIT: And Xianna is putting a finger up to her mouth…

LILIT (as Xianna): Shush.

LILIT: …and then repeats the lekku symbol, pointing at the lekku.

HUDSON (as Tink): They look fine to me.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ugh.

CAMERON: I don’t think Karma understands the lekku symbols, but it’s very obvious from looking at her that she knows what happened.

NICK: As you continue to walk along, HK calls over a shoulder…

NICK (as HK): The inmates will be silent or the inmates will be stunned and thrown back in solitary.

NICK: …and points the gun back on his shoulder straight to you, and it’s pointed, Tink, right at your face without him looking at you, which is pretty unnerving. Then HK says:

NICK (as HK): Well, here we are at the southern cell block. I’m sure they can come back to their cells on their own.

NICK (as guard): Nah, we can’t just leave them here. We gotta make sure they actually go to their cells.

NICK: They lead you in. Blue and the shark guy are put in their cells first. Ziller, who has been silently glaring at all of you this whole time, is put into his cell which is on the first floor, and y’all are led over to yours. Tink, you see Filbert rattling a cup along the bars, left and right, the whole time.

NICK (as Filbert): [singing poorly] Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows.

CAMERON (as Karma): Ugh.

NICK: As they get close, HK says…

NICK (as HK): Music will not be tolerated.

NICK: …and shoots Filbert with a stun bolt, and Filbert flies back into the bars and bounces and just gets right back up like it’s  no big deal.

NICK (as Filbert): Your stun setting’s about 20% too low there, tin man.

NICK: Your cells open up and you all are told to go in. Do you?

LILIT: Yeah.

HUDSON: Yeah, I go in.


NICK: Okay.

LILIT: Xianna skips in and then turns around and waves as they walk away, and waits for HK to get a little bit further.

LILIT (as Xianna): Bye baby hands~

NICK: HK stops, doesn’t turn around, looks to the other guard, and says…

NICK (as HK): Guard Jones, I think there was something in the cafeteria that needed to be inspected. Will you come with me, please? There’s no need to radio our position. I will report it later.

NICK: …and starts to walk off.

CAMERON: Karma shakes her head sadly, looking off at Jones for the last time.

NICK (as Jones): Yeah sure, let’s go to the cafeteria. Maybe there’s some snacks.

NICK: And they head off down the hallway.

CAMERON (as Karma): I should not have told him that. Hmm… Well!

HUDSON: I walk into my cell and hold up my hand to high-five Filbert.

NICK: Filbert jumps and tries to high-five you back but can’t reach.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah-ha, too low… real slow… Wait. Yeah, you’re short.

NICK (as Filbert): You’re doing a great job having informal conversation. Great work, big guy.

HUDSON (as Tink): Thank you?

NICK: Filbert’s chest is smoking slightly where the stun bolt hit him, but it doesn’t seem to bother him much.

CAMERON (as Karma): You okay?

NICK (as Filbert): I’ve been stunned so many times it doesn’t really work on me the same way as it used to. They gotta turn it way up.

CAMERON (as Karma): That cannot be good for you.

LILIT (as Xianna): You are one of those people. Okay, okay.

CAMERON (as Karma): That is not good.

LILIT (as Xianna): As long as you are setting up expectations with the person doing the tazing, and you have the proper safe words, and you are making sure you are  not giving lethal doses, you know, what you want to do is your business.

NICK (as Filbert): Oh no, the stunning’s not a sex thing, it’s more of a, like, biological resistance.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh! Okie.

NICK (as Filbert): My nerves don’t get shocked so much anymore. I’ve got sex things, they just don’t have to do with stun bolts.

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean… cool.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

LILIT (as Xianna): Whatever works for you. Anyways.

LILIT: Xianna twirls around and looks at Karma and Tink and just starts wildly pointing at her lekku.

LILIT (as Xianna): This is the sign for “did we do this.” Did we do that?! Did I do that?

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh!

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh…

LILIT (as Xianna): That is what this sign means.

CAMERON (as Karma): You should probably teach us some of this language, because if we have to stay quiet that’s gonna be useful.

HUDSON (as Tink): I thought this was a “look at me! Look at these lekku! Look at ‘em. Look at ‘em!”

NICK: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): No, that is this one.

LILIT: And Xianna shows it, and the lekku sort of do like a little squiggly dance.

LILIT (as Xianna): This is the one for “look at me.”

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, okay, I got it. Crystal clear now. Thank you.

CAMERON (as Karma): I knew you were trying to say something, but I had no idea what it was.

LILIT (as Xianna): So it’s different. This one doesn’t really actually mean anything, it is just a cool thing that we do because it is funny. Heh.

CAMERON (as Karma): To answer your question, no, we didn’t do that, but it may be my fault.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, so HK did a murder. Okie.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm. Yeah.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh! I think he is going to do another murder too.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, that’s what… yeah. Mm-hmm.

LILIT (as Xianna): Hey Filbert, can you like go to the other side of your cell or like earmuffs or something like that?

NICK (as Filbert): I thought we were best friends. Do you not trust me?

LILIT (as Xianna): There are just different levels of friends, and what if we want to like throw you a surprise party or something? Sometimes secrets are fun.

NICK (as Filbert): Oh, okay!

NICK: [smiling] And he goes to the other side of the cell.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: He plugs his ears and starts whistling to himself.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, so prison escape time.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm.

LILIT (as Xianna): Not like right now, but planning time.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, I was about to say, I am not ready.


LILIT (as Xianna): So there are two ways we can do this. We can either just burn the whole place down and everyone escapes and it is chaos and it is a very fun thing to do, I recommend it, however this prison might be too big for that plan, so we might have to just escape with our friends. I don’t know about Filbert yet. We’ll see about Filbert.

CAMERON (as Karma): TBD on Filbert.

LILIT (as Xianna): But I do have to bring my friend Tadzi.

HUDSON (as Tink): Okay, that’s acceptable. So, Tadzi, who else?

LILIT (as Xianna): Sentinel.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright.

LILIT (as Xianna): And HK can figure his own shit out.

HUDSON (as Tink): HK is in a position of authority.

LILIT (as Xianna): Exactly. He can figure his own shit out.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yep. Yep.

NICK: As Xianna says he can figure his own shit out, we cut away to HK walking into the cafeteria and saying:

NICK (as HK): Officer Jones, I think there’s something under that table.

NICK (as Jones): Oh, what is it?

NICK: Then you hear a stun bolt, and then HK shakes his head and flips the gun around to hold it by the barrel.

NICK (as HK): It’s like shooting Kowakian lizard monkeys in a barrel.

NICK: And then we cut back to you all.

LILIT (as Xianna): So if we are going to do the not burning the whole prison down, which is still my vote, still my vote, but if that is not the route we want to go, probably the air vents?

HUDSON (as Tink): Or the poop chute.

CAMERON (as Karma): Nuh-uh.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, you don’t want to do that, because that is actually a much smaller pipe than you think it is going down. Yes, at a certain point the pipe will get very, very big, but at that point it’s really more the sewers, so you would only have to get in a different way, you can’t just go down the toilet.

HUDSON (as Tink): You’re right. That won’t work.

CAMERON (as Karma): I will say, there was remarkably little attention being paid to us by the guards as we were let out of solitary. That entire gated hallway walking to where HK met us, there was no one there, and solitary is very near the edge of this prison.

NICK: Uh… [musically] Roll me a Perception check.

CAMERON: What is the difficulty?

NICK: Average.

CAMERON: Two successes.

NICK: While you were not being directly monitored during that walk down the little chain link hallway, there are those guard towers with the big old stun cannons on them, and at least one of those was tracking you, so you didn’t have someone right there but there were eyes on you. You’re not sure if guards monitor the towers or if it’s droid brains, because you could just see the big old gun, but there is someone that can see you.


LILIT (as Xianna): So we have to figure out how to get Sentinel out of his little solitary cell, and then after that I think we just, you know, start a gigantic riot with fires and chaos and burning and smoke, and then we just get into the air vents and leave that way.

HUDSON (as Tink): Won’t the air vents be filled with smoke?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, that’s my concern too.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, because the smoke would be in other areas.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

LILIT (as Xianna): So if we go through the library with those air vents, and we go away, we just start the fires elsewhere, because then that way all the prison guards are somewhere else. Ideally you also want to start fires in two different areas. The Mandalore cocktails are also good, because people riot when you see those. You throw one of them and everyone just knows what’s happening.

CAMERON (as Karma): [chuckles]

HUDSON (as Tink): Time to get the party started.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. So the main thing is we just have to figure out where the air vents go and how to get Sentinel out of his cell, and then we have to go talk to Zebadiah about getting prison hooch so that we can get bottles and rags, and maybe some shivs. Someone should get kitchen duty.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm… What if I get doctor duty?

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, there are sharp things in there. You could get like needles and scalpels and drugs.

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s how I’d get Sentinel out. I would say that I need to perform a surgery.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh, that might work, if he pretends he is very sick.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah. Like uh, I need to test his, um, his uh… his plasma filter.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): His mitochondria levels.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm. They’re the powerhouse of the cell.

NICK: We’re gonna cut away from that conversation with the planning. The next thing we see is you all being led by guards to different rooms around the prison. One of the guards stops the three of you and says:

NICK (as guard): You haven’t been assigned work duties yet, have you?

CAMERON (as Karma): No sir.

LILIT (as Xianna): Nope, not yet.

NICK (as guard): We’ve got a couple options. Everything’s about equally staffed right now. Do you have any essential skills or something that would make you particularly helpful in different parts of the prison? We got laundry duty. We got rock breaking duty. We got the library. We got the clinic. We got the metal shop. What all floats your boat so to speak?

LILIT (as Xianna): Well I like poetry. Can I be in the library?

NICK (as guard): You like poetry?

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes.

NICK (as guard): Can you recite some poetry for me?

LILIT (as Xianna): There once was a man from Nantucket…

LILIT: [giggles]

NICK (as guard): Oh yeah, The Planet Nantucket. That’s a good one.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, it is in the Inner Rim. It is a very lovely poem.

NICK (as guard): Alright, you’re on library duty. I’ll show you where you’re going. What about you, big boy?

HUDSON (as Tink): I’m a medical professional myself.

NICK (as guard): Interesting. Really?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah!

NICK (as guard): How do you do a medicine on somebody?

NICK: He like puts his hands on his knees and leans in towards you.

HUDSON (as Tink): Well, that all depends on the person and the ailment.

HUDSON: And I look deep into their eyes.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: He straightens up very quickly.

NICK (as guard): Alright, clinic, that’s fine. Okay. What about you lady person, person lady?

CAMERON (as Karma): I’m rather handy in the kitchen.

NICK (as guard): Alright. That works. We always need more people to wash dishes.

NICK: So, we get a side wipe and you are each in your prospective duties. As you are walking, the guard explains to you:

NICK (as guard): You have about two hours a day of prison duty time. The amount of time it’s taken to give you your assignments means there’s not a lot of time today, but you can at least become familiar with your surroundings.

NICK: We get a wipe of Xianna walking into the library, and Filbert is in there with a broom just sweeping the same corner the whole time and reading a book.

LILIT (as Xianna): [exasperated noises]

CAMERON: [chuckles]

LILIT (as Xianna): [as a groan] No…

NICK: Tink, you walk into the clinic and there is a Xexto doctor. The Xextos have the long spindly arms, and they have four arms. They look kind of like stick bugs with big old eyes. Dressed in a nurse’s uniform is Ziller who’s got a big bandage on his face.

NICK (as Ziller): Oh, brother…

NICK: Karma, you walk into the kitchen. There’s a bunch of people in the kitchen cycling through, but you do make note of Tadzi’texa the blue Twi’lek, and they are chopping up celery and cabbage, but in weird colors because Star Wars, very proficiently with a knife and dumping stuff into a big, big, big soup pot. You probably have like 30 minutes to kind of familiarize yourself before your work station ends. What are you all doing?

LILIT: Xianna’s going to try to get a good layout of the library and figure out if there’s any blind spots in the cameras caused by any of the holo bookshelves and if there’s any holo book carts around to transport the books and how many of those there are, how many tables there are, where the air vents are, or like the main doorways, all of that good stuff, and figuring out if Filbert is the only other worker here.

NICK: Go ahead and roll me a Streetwise to try to do this without getting seen. It’s a prison, so they are looking for people to do weird stuff, so it’s gonna be hard with a black die because Filbert seems to be staring right at you the whole time.

LILIT: One success, one advantage.

NICK: So there are about three other people in the prison library organizing books and things. You are able to identify a blind spot, and you’re able to identify a couple of vent entrances. The vents are weirdly big, like you could walk through the vent just kind of hunched over, you don’t even have to crawl, but the blind spot is not where the vent is, so getting from the blind spot to the vent would take some finagling, but it’s a pretty good staging area, you definitely have some options in the prison library, for sure.

LILIT: Cool.

NICK: Tink, what are you doing in the clinic?

HUDSON (as Tink): So, I walk into the clinic and I just say:

HUDSON (as Tink): Hi everyone, I’m Tink!

NICK (as Ziller): Oh, I know who you are, brother.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, hi Ziller… Great to see you again…

NICK (as Ziller): Yeah, it’s always great to see the person who murdered all of his friends.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah-uh…

CAMERON: [snickers]

HUDSON (as Tink): What kind of stuff do y’all do around here?

NICK: Ziller just slowly turns around and goes back to organizing swabs, and the doctor says…

NICK (as doctor): Oh hey, you must be my new helper. Here, hold this.

NICK: …and puts a big tray in front of you. As you go to grab it it’s super freaking heavy and full of a bunch of vials of fluids that are hard to balance.

NICK (as doctor): Don’t spill that. Some of those are acidic.

NICK: And then turns around and goes back to poking at somebody who seems to be unconscious.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ziller, I think we can mend this relationship.

NICK (as Ziller): Oh do you?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah! Why don’t we give it a shot? Let’s just work through our problems one step at a time… There was probably just some misunderstandings.

NICK: Roll me a Charm check.

HUDSON: [laughing] What difficulty?

NICK: hard.

HUDSON: I have nothing in Charm.

NICK: Dope.

CAMERON: How’s your Presence?


NICK: You wanna flip a light side point?

HUDSON: Yeah, sure.

CAMERON: Flipped!

HUDSON: Gonna upgrade one of my greens to a yellow. One success and two advantages.

NICK: Wow! Okay. Ziller looks conflicted.

NICK (as Ziller): Well, from what I saw it was a clean fight, and I don’t know how much you were involved with those bounty hunters on that ship, so I think we gotta stick together.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, you know.

NICK (as Ziller): Put her there.

NICK: And he holds out his big scary scarred hand.

HUDSON: I try to fist bump.

NICK: You’re holding a giant heavy tray of acid.

HUDSON: I try to fist bump.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: Okay. The acid almost spills. You do a quick fist bump and grab it again real quick, and it’s very dangerous.

NICK (as Ziller): No, this is good. I can introduce you to some people that’ll help keep you safe, Tink. Don’t you worry about it. We’re gonna be fast friends.

HUDSON: This was such a good idea.


HUDSON: I didn’t think it would be, but yeah.

NICK: [suspiciously] Hmm. Oh yeah, it’s a super good idea. Ziller and Tink, friends… Karma.


NICK: You are in the kitchen. What are you looking for? What are you trying to identify?

CAMERON: Does there appear to be anyone in charge of the kitchen?

NICK: Yes.

CAMERON: Who appears to be in charge of the kitchen?

NICK: There is a very large culinary droid. They’re about two and a half meters tall, and they are really round. They’re built like a boiler and they’ve got strips of different recipes and cloths hanging off of them in different places that are kind of tattered and spattered with oil, and they’ve got four arms. One’s holding a spatula, one’s holding tongs, and the other two have really fine fingertips that are really long. It’s cooking on four things at once. It’s got two faces, one on the front and one on the back, and the head can rotate, and it’s yelling orders around the kitchen.

CAMERON: Does it see me?

NICK: Yeah, it sees you. It just kind of gestures with you with one hand to come over.

CAMERON: I approach.

NICK (as culinary droid): Hey, I’m the kitchen master. Go ahead and if you could start running plates out from the cafeteria in here and get to washing that’d be great. Thank you so much.

CAMERON (as Karma): Can do.

CAMERON: Skips off to go gather plates.

NICK: Yeah. There’s plates in a big bin out in the cafeteria area. You can see there’s the chute where y’all put your—well, where Karma put her dirty plates, and it just goes to a big bin, and then you have to pick them up and carry them across the kitchen to the sink to wash them. So, you’ve got kind of the run of the kitchen while you’re doing that. Is there anything you’re looking for, trying to steal, people you wanna talk to?

CAMERON: I’m looking to see how well-protected all of the knives are, like how watched the knives are, because I’ve seen that Tadzi definitely has a chef’s knife that they’re using to cut the vegetables up, so I know they’re here. I’m trying to see how much attention is being paid to the prisoners who are currently holding a knife.

NICK: The knives are all locked in a knife block. It’s like a big knife block made out of durasteel, you can see knife handles sticking out, and there’s a little green light next to each of them, and it looks like the only way to get a knife is to get a little slip from the kitchen master and put it in there and it releases the knife, and people can’t leave if the knives aren’t all back in place, so it’s like a check in check out system. Looking at it, you think there may be a way to fool it into thinking that all of the knives are checked in.

CAMERON: Alright. How many people are working in the kitchen?

NICK: Like 15, and they’re kinda cycling in and out and running around. It’s very, very busy.

CAMERON: Alright. I’m gonna take my bucket over to the sink and start washing dishes and watching the room.

NICK: Okay. You wanna make me a roll to see what you pick up?

CAMERON: [chuckling] What do I roll to wash dishes?

NICK: The perception is probably either Streetwise or Perception if you’re looking for one thing particularly.

CAMERON: I guess we’ll do Streetwise, because I’m just watching in general.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: What’s the difficulty of Streetwise-ness?

NICK: Average.

CAMERON: Average Streetwise-ness. Go ahead and flip a light side point since we got them.

NICK: Might as well.

CAMERON: Two advantages.

NICK: Okay. So you get a feel that the kitchen master, this big droid, doesn’t move a lot. He has these big pillary legs, but they’re mostly planted, like he just kinda shifts side to side, and people tend to move around the droid. He has a very good eye on things, so it’s kind of hard to be sneaky about anything, but you can also see people are occasionally pocketing a potato or things like that and the droid doesn’t say anything, so there’s stuff it’s looking for and stuff it isn’t. As you’re looking at the knife block and how it works you see Tadzi sticks the knife that they were using back into the knife block and the light turns green and Tadzi takes one of the slips out and goes to return it to the kitchen master.

NICK (as Tadzi): Oh, well it’s time for me to clock out. Thanks so much, kitchen master. If you need anything let me know.

NICK: And the big droid says:

NICK (as kitchen master): Yeah, of course.

NICK: As they turn to go, Tadzi turns around and is leaving, and this Rodian with a sharpened spoon leaps and attacks them from behind. What do you do?

CAMERON: How far am I?

NICK: You’re probably like ten feet away.

CAMERON: What would throwing a kitchen implement be?

NICK: Weapons: Light.

CAMERON: What do I need to throw to get it to Ranged: Heavy? [laughs]

NICK: Throwing like a cutting board or something heavy.

CAMERON: Okay, I wanna throw something heavy.

NICK: Okay, so you’re gonna throw something heavy at them to try to stop them?


NICK: Okay. You’re about to get into a fight in the kitchen, and that’s where we’re gonna end the episode.

CAMERON: [laughs]

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show, please consider leaving a review on your podcast listening app of choice. Reviews will help new listeners to find the show, and every time we get one the squad gets warm fuzzies.

If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere else we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including some of my favorites, Bantha Buddy, Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, and Hot tub hangout, which all have fabulous rewards and super great names.

Xianna’fan is played by Lilit Penrod. They can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad and join our Discord and share all your food and cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find a link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.

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