Transcript: S2 Episode 11: Bringing It All Together
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Tabletop Squadron Transcript – Season 2, Episode 11:
Bringing It All Together
Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)
NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they hunt for galactic treasure, staying away from a bitter rival and growing closer together.
Starting off, we have new patrons to thank! Adrian Bundy, the Force has clearly chosen you for great things. If you could use this destiny to learn to shoot lightning at people who make you mad and then use that skill to help the crew, we’re pretty in need of a lightning wizard at this point. Thanks in advance. Andrew Lassiter, thank you as well for supporting the show. The crew is still searching for the good ramen, and I know you know people who know people. Right? If you could take this case of spicy shrimp flavor and make sure it finds its way to them that’d be great. You’re the crew’s only hope, and this doesn’t seem risky at all.
A friendly reminder that soon we’re adding a new fan letter segment to Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer for $5 and up patrons, so patrons, make sure to send your letters in to TabletopSquadron@gmail.com or through a Patreon message as soon as the inspiration strikes you.
Thank you again for all of your podcast reviews and Patreon support which helps us to keep going and to grow the show.
Music credit and content warnings are available in the show notes this week.
So now, let’s get into the episode.
NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 11! I’m your host and game master, Nick. It’s a beautiful day. The mattresses are being delivered next door and the dogs are panicking, so pretty standard situation. I realize out of context that doesn’t make as much sense as it did in my head, but it’s too late, we’re gonna keep going. Let’s all go around the table and everybody say who you are, who you’re playing today, and if you spent any experience points what you spent them on, starting with Hudson.
HUDSON: Hi. I’m Hudson, and I play Tink, a Gigoran slicer. I did not spend any points for I am hoarding them like a dragon hoarding gold.
NICK: Wonderful, and hopefully there won’t be a group of 13 dwarves that come and steal your experience points from you.
HUDSON: Yeah, like Snow White. I haven’t seen that movie in a while, but that’s how it is.
NICK: Yep. Yep, that’s what I was referencing.
LILIT: Yes, that was the reference being made.
CAMERON: [giggles] Oh no…
NICK: I think you broke Cameron.
CAMERON: [smiling] Ow.
NICK: Next up we’ve got Lilit!
LILIT: Hello. I am Lilit, and I will be playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler, and personally I like when mattress day is on a Wednesday. It just really helps break up the week.
NICK: [laughs] Did you spend any experience points this week?
LILIT: I did not. I had 5 points, and I’m going to save that.
NICK: It’s a good thing to keep a little bit of points on standby just in case. Last but not least, we have Cameron.
CAMERON: Hello! My name is Cameron, and I will be playing Karma Nailo, the Nautolan bounty hunter. I am burning through all of my experience points. I am buying an additional rank of Lethal Blows…
NICK: [shaken] Oh.
CAMERON: …off of my Marauder talent tree, so now every time I roll a crit I add 40.
NICK: Wow. Okay.
NICK: That’s, uh, frightening, in like a good way though.
NICK: Wonderful. So, before we get into the episode, let’s kick it off with the Destiny Roll~!
LILIT: One dark side point.
HUDSON: Two light side points.
CAMERON: And I got one dark side.
NICK: Nice, so that’s two dark side, two light side?
HUDSON: And Hudson saves the day.
CAMERON: [chuckling] Hudson does.
NICK: So, last time, you all went to go watch a movie, The Hunt for Red Ortolan, and during the movie you planned your big escape. You decided tonight is the night. Karma ran off to the admin building with HK in an attempt to secure weapons for everyone, and Xianna and Tink went to the prison clinic to get access to a computer and try to get some medication because Tink had been injured very badly, and on their way there they found a prison guard that apparently was a fraternity brother with Tink, and they helped each other and they caught up on old times, and then were left alone to do their business.
The last thing that happened was we had Xianna taking a bunch of helpful stim packs and jamming them into Tink and Tink hacking his way into the prison computer system. Am I missing anything?
HUDSON: There’s currently a riot going on.
NICK: Oh yeah, and there is currently a large riot still happening in the movie theater that Blue and Ziller and Tadzi’texa kicked off for you as a distraction. That’s a good point. So we’ll get into it.
We open on Sentinel. His salt and pepper hair is in a wild mess around his head as he sits in a simple wheelchair. He is clearly focusing with a single-minded purpose on something outside his door. The camera zooms in and we hear a deep rumbling sound as he slowly raises a hand, fingers out wide, towards the door of his cell in solitary confinement. There is a sudden beep and the door swings open. Sentinel drops his hand in surprise and grabs the wheels of his chair, ready to dash forward. A PA system crackles to life.
HUDSON (as Tink): [sounding confused] Attention guards. There is a ruckus, I mean, um… there is an incident, level 9, at the movie theater. All guards in solitary please report there, uh… please.
NICK: You can see on the security monitors that you patched into the small lobby area with the plexiglass-shielded area for the guard, and he drops a magazine and stands up and talks towards the PA system in the ceiling. He has not yet noticed that Sentinel’s door is open.
NICK (as guard): Uh… confirm that, please, control? That seems oddly specific that you want the guard in solitary reporting to the movie theater for a disturbance. And what’s a level 9?
HUDSON (as Tink): Level 9 is one level before level 10. Did you look at the manual, sir?
NICK: Can you roll me a Deception check, please?
HUDSON: What’s the difficulty?
NICK: This one’s gonna be average. This guy is not particularly smart.
HUDSON: Two successes and a threat.
NICK: Okay. He, again, looking up at the speaker and the PA system says:
NICK (as guard): Oh yeah, level 9… right. Uh, headed that way, control.
NICK: He grabs a stun rifle from under the small desk and keys in a code which opens the door to his little protected cubicle and hurries off up the stairs and out of solitary. We can see Sentinel roll his chair forward and look out as the guard’s boots disappear up this long spiral staircase, and he just looks kind of confused. The cameras aren’t a very high quality footage, but you can see that Sentinel looks suspicious as he glances around the suddenly deserted prison area.
HUDSON (as Tink): Psst, Sentinel.
NICK (as Sentinel): T-Tink, is that you?
HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, yeah, it’s me. I’m a ghost and I’m in the wall~ I’m just kidding, no, I’m actually on this PA system I hacked into. Isn’t it great?
NICK (as Sentinel): Um… I suppose so. I’m assuming you and your team have a plan.
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, do we have a plan. We have a plan alright. Now do I remember every piece of the plan? No, but I’m just going with it.
LILIT (as Xianna): Ello Sentinel~ We do have a plan. Tink is going to hack into the system and open up your cell and then disable the turrets and help you get to a place to hide until we are ready to break out.
HUDSON (as Tink): No, his cell’s already open.
LILIT (as Xianna): Oh! Well then I don’t know. So if your cell is already open then that is Step 1.
NICK: You can see on the screen Sentinel nodding.
NICK (as Sentinel): Alright, well I guess guide me through this. Is there somewhere specific you need me to be?
HUDSON (as Tink): Sentinel, I have two prerequisite questions for you.
NICK (as Sentinel): Wonderful.
NICK: Sentinel is wheeling his chair through the lobby towards the staircase.
NICK (as Sentinel): Fire away, I guess, Tink.
HUDSON (as Tink): Can you use your superpowers to go invisible?
NICK (as Sentinel): Wh– … No. No, not at all.
HUDSON (as Tink): Second question. How much experience do you have dodging turrets?
NICK (as Sentinel): Oh, I don’t like that insinuation at all. I have been fired at before.
HUDSON (as Tink): Great.
NICK (as Sentinel): I really hope that you’ve disabled some of the security though, because that’s going to be pretty dangerous. Feels pretty dangerous.
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, it is, but I’ll be helping you out by disabling some of the security features. I just want you to be mentally prepared, and the second question was to spur confidence in that if you had dodged turrets before you’d be ready if you needed to again.
NICK (as Sentinel): Great. Well… I’m gonna get back to ground level and then, I guess… give me directions from there.
NICK: You see Sentinel roll his chair to the exit of solitary. On the security monitor you see him look up at the spiral staircase. He sighs and turns the chair around until the back wheels are pressed against the bottom step. With one hand on one of the wheels and another pointed down, he flexes, and you can see him push both on the wheel and against the ground with the Force, and the chair does a smooth hop up the stair guided by his hand.
Sentinel looks strong and sure as he actually goes up the staircase pretty dang quick using the Force and upper body strength, and just goes bop-bop-bop-bop up the stairs. We’re gonna cut away from that for a second. Karma.
NICK: We jump to you and HK standing amongst shelves and shelves of contraband and weapons. What did you and HK grab to arm up?
CAMERON: So, we’re going for two of the largest melee weapons that we can find.
CAMERON: Preferably axes, but if there’s no axes in here we just want large sharp pointy objects.
NICK: There’s actually—you haven’t seen this before, but there’s two large weapons that are about the size of vibro-axes but they’re big old war hammers, they’re just big plates of durasteel welded to the end of long poles. They seem less balanced and efficient than a vibro-axe but that they would probably do the job for some of your stronger friends.
CAMERON: Alright, I’m grabbing two hammers.
NICK: Okay, you got two hammers.
CAMERON: Two hammers. Do I see any slingshots?
NICK: Yeah, there’s a slingshot. It’s made out of dried and pressed newspaper where it’s been soaked and compressed and soaked and compressed until it looks like it’s made out of concrete or something, but it’s very much a hardened material. You think after a few shots it might break, but someone clearly made this in the jail and then got it confiscated.
CAMERON: Cool. I’mma grab that and then just some small objects, small metal pieces or nuts or bolts or anything for ammunition for said slingshot.
NICK: Yeah, next to the slingshot there’s like a bag of goodies.
CAMERON: Some marbles? I don’t know.
NICK: Yeah. It looks like a mix of marbles, broken credit chips, and bits of hardware, things that it would not be enjoyable to be hit with.
CAMERON: Alright, continuing over in the sharp pointy weapons section, looking for knives.
NICK: Oh, there’s as many knives as you can imagine, there’s just rows and rows of them. There are different levels of finish on them, some seem really old and rusty, some seem like they were recently purchased, and then there’s a lot of various sharpened household objects that have been clearly confiscated over the years.
CAMERON: We’re looking for sturdy. Sturdy is our goal here.
NICK: Cool. You’re able to find a couple of icepicks and one vibro-dagger that just looks really, really nice.
CAMERON: Ooh! By a couple do you mean two icepicks?
NICK: Two icepicks, one vibro-dagger, and then as many sharpened AOL internet disks or spoons or forks or—
CAMERON: Ooh, I grab a sharpened spoon.
CAMERON: Because Tink needs to hand that to Tadzi. I remember. One sharpened spoon… I’m making a list of the things that I picked up, because otherwise I aint gonna remember this.
NICK: As you’re walking up and down these rows getting weapons for your group, HK is walking down a different aisle humming to himself going:
NICK (as HK): [musically] Murder tools, murder tools. Which kind of murder tools do I need? This one’s good for stabbing. This one’s good for shooting. Ooh, I’ll hit someone with this one.
NICK: He’s just putting piles and piles of stuff into his arms.
CAMERON (as Karma): HK, have you seen any nice heavy repeating blasters?
NICK (as HK): I found one. It looks too heavy for me, but I’m sure Blue could use it happily.
CAMERON (as Karma): Fantastic.
CAMERON: I run over and grab it.
CAMERON: [laughing] Dragging the hammers behind me.
NICK: Yeah. You’re just carrying like a big old pile of stuff.
CAMERON: I look like a child that has spent all day at the state fair and their parents gave them too much money to play all of the carnival games and they’ve been ridiculously successful.
CAMERON: So, like the really giant stuffed animals, I am mostly now weapons and you can barely see karma underneath.
CAMERON: And then Karma’s looking for a carbine for herself.
NICK: The only thing is it’s one of the stun rifles. It looks like one of the ones that they use in the riots. It’s nicer than the ones they normally have. They don’t have a carbine that has a kill setting, but they do have a very nice stun one that looks similar to yours.
CAMERON: Alright. So, I’ll pick that one up, turn it to where the flip would normally be, like the switch to change it between stun and kill, and see that it doesn’t have one, and it has like the blue band around the barrel so that you know it’s a stun rifle, and then…
CAMERON (as Karma): [exhales heavily, disappointed] Okay.
CAMERON: …turn around, walk back over to the sharp pointy objects, and pick up a slimmer one that’s in between a knife and the hammers. Going for a sword.
NICK: Yeah. It’s like a sharpened crowbar.
NICK: It works like a vibro-sword. All of these improvised weapons will have a black die for being not amazing.
NICK: But yeah, you can have a spiky crowbar for thwacking.
CAMERON: Okay, so the ones with the black die would be the crowbar, the spoon, the slingshot, and the hammers?
CAMERON: Okay, because those are the non–actual weapon ones.
CAMERON: Then going over and looking for small blasters, for Xianna.
NICK: Yeah, there’s a pile of hold out blasters. You’re able to grab two or three. They fit into pockets easily.
NICK: We get this shot of you tucking those into pockets. You’re very weighed down. HK, while carrying a lot of stuff, keeps dropping it and ends up not really settling on anything in particular and looks kind of disappointed. He ends up grabbing a couple of shanks.
NICK (as HK): I’m just so over stun weapons. At this point I would rather do hand-to-hand than shoot another person with stun.
CAMERON (as Karma): See, I’d really rather you shot people, though. You’re so good at it.
NICK (as HK): If you give me one of those hold out blasters I’ll use it, but I’ve gotten better at stabbing than I was before.
CAMERON (as Karma): Take a few of the sharp pointy objects, but go ahead and hold onto your stun blaster too. I’d say, one, because you are still a guard and having one will look normal for you, and if you didn’t have one it may raise more questions actually, and also, it’s gonna be a lot easier to do stuff at a distance if you have the blaster regardless of your stabbing capability.
NICK (as HK): This is fair. I will keep these. Are we ready to go?
CAMERON (as Karma): Uhh… Let’s see.
CAMERON: karma starts patting pockets and naming stuff off.
CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, we’ve got some blasters for Xianna, I’ve got these hammer things for the boys, we’ve got Tink’s slingshot, we’ve got knives for Tadzi, got the big guns… Okay, yes, I think we are ready to proceed.
NICK (as HK): Alright Karma, happy to help. By the way, us taking this many weapons will probably set off alarms by tomorrow when they do an inventory.
CAMERON (as Karma): Oh, 100%. [laughs]
NICK (as HK): Where are we going now?
CAMERON (as Karma): let’s head back over towards the direction of the clinic and hopefully we will either converge with Tink and Xianna on our way to Big Jeyb’s cell or we can meet up with them in the clinic.
NICK (as HK): Alright. Lead on.
NICK: And we’re gonna cut away. Tink, you and Xianna looking through this monitor, you switch cameras around and you see Sentinel as he hops his wheelchair up over the last couple of steps and rolls out his shoulders. He looks more light than you’ve seen him in a while, like he’s settling into more of a physical role than the mental role that he usually fills, and he’s rolling his wheels back and forth, and he’s looking around. There are PA megaphones on sticks periodically down the way so you’re able to talk to him, it’ll just be a little loud, and he’s awaiting instructions.
HUDSON (as Tink): Ah, I see you’re ready for the next instruction.
NICK (as Sentinel): Yes. Where to now? I’m assuming down this long chain link hallway surrounded by blaster turrets. Have those been disabled?
HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… ooh, almost forgot that one. [chuckling] That was a close one.
HUDSON: I disable the blaster turrets.
NICK: Okay. Roll me a slicing check. This one’s gonna have two black dice on it, because they are not really linked to the system directly, you’re having to go through a bunch of separate directories, but upgrade your check by one because you’ve already gotten into this system pretty comfortably, so turn a green to a yellow or add a green if you don’t have any.
HUDSON: We have run out of yellows. I will need to reroll a yellow then.
NICK: [smiling] That’s so many.
HUDSON: I rolled blank yellow twice!
HUDSON: A success and an advantage.
NICK: Okay, so you’re able to turn them off. You’re not able to control them. They just shut down. You find the power cycle routine and get it started. Sentinel should be safe rolling along this hallway.
HUDSON (as Tink): So Sentinel, you should be good to go. Start rolling, and I’ll probably hear it if there’s turret fire, but if I don’t hear it for some reason just yell for help.
NICK (as Sentinel): You know, Tink… we’ve worked together for a while, and you’ve demonstrated your skills time and again, but you are not inspiring a lot of confidence with the language choices you’re making.
NICK: As Sentinel’s talking he’s wheeling down this chain link hallway.
HUDSON (as Tink): Sometimes confidence has to come from within, Sentinel.
NICK: He just shakes his head and starts to go faster. Xianna, you are listening to this conversation in the clinic. You have collected enough medical supplies to help Tink out. What are you working on? Are you just hanging out while you wait for him to get Sentinel to a place? Are you looking for anything? What’s going on with you?
LILIT: Xianna has grabbed a lab coat, because they have big pockets on them.
NICK: That’s true.
LILIT: So she is now stuffing those pockets with as many things as she can, and one of the things she’s going to do is look around at some of the surgical tools and other medical accoutrement and look for things to turn into a little screwdriver wrench thingy to open up the screws on the vent that is in the library.
NICK: Sure. That feels like a Skulduggery check to me to MacGyver together something to open a bolt you’re not supposed to be able to open. It’ll be average difficulty and a blue die, because you’ve had plenty of time. Let’s see what you get.
LILIT: That is three successes and four advantages.
NICK: Wow, okay. So when you saw this vent the first time you recognized the one-way bolts that secured it to the wall, and you know that you need like a counter-screw and some sort of sleeve that will go over it to make it pop loose, because it’s supposed to be very difficult, and you’re able to find the pieces to put one of these together very easily, and you also find a couple of other goodies. Do you have any ideas on what you might find that would be helpful?
[slinky music begins]
LILIT: Why yes, I do. Xianna is going to find a few little things that could be used for lock picking, just general lock picking.
NICK: Okay, yeah.
LILIT: And then also, this is a prison medical bay, and sometimes there is contraband, and I would like for someone to have come into medical bay for treatment but then had contraband that was confiscated, and I would like that item to be impact.
NICK: Oh yeah, you find a dose, a single dose of impact.
LILIT: Single dose.
[slinky music ends]
NICK: Yeah. It looks like they hadn’t taken it out of the clinic yet, so it was sitting in a little locked cabinet that you had already popped open to help Tink’s frat bro find what he was looking for. So you pocketed that as well. So you have a dose of impact. Wonderful.
Okay, so we’re gonna jump back to karma and HK real quick. Karma, I need you to make me a Stealth check…
NICK: …with two black dice because of all the weapons you’re carrying, and flip me a dark side point to make it harder.
CAMERON: How hard is it?
NICK: This is a hard check, because the prison is starting to lock down, and this is to see if you run into anybody or are able to avoid people before you meet up with the group again.
CAMERON: Alright, so I’m adding my two blues for my Stalker talents… and this is a lot of dice.
NICK: Do you need help holding them all?
CAMERON: No… it’s just a lot. They almost don’t fit when I shake them in my hand. Two successes, one advantage.
NICK: Great. So, you and HK are able, even carrying all these large weapons in the middle of a prison lockdown, you are able to slide from shadow to shadow and make your way towards the clinic and the southern cell block. We will cut away to Sentinel.
Tink, you see Sentinel has wheeled his way along this long hallway. He basically needs to go through the rec yard, and if he is to meet up with you at the clinic he would need to go the length of the rec yard over exposed ground or cut through the mess hall, which you don’t know if anyone’s in there or not, or if you want him to stay near the library he’s pretty close to there, he could try and hide and wait for y’all to meet up with him. It’s up to you.
HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm. Sentinel, are you hungry?
NICK (as Sentinel): No, I’m not hungry, Tink. They fed me recently. I had porridge.
HUDSON (as Tink): Alright, then we can just avoid the mess hall completely. How about you wait near the library for us? That’s where we’re gonna kind of all coalesce.
LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh yes, there is a supply closet next to the library.
HUDSON (as Tink): Ooh, that could work, but I was actually thinking of Sentinel hiding somewhere where no one ever goes.
LILIT (as Xianna): No one ever goes into the supply closet.
HUDSON (as Tink): Every once in a while there’s someone who goes into the supply closet, but no one ever goes to the reference section.
LILIT (as Xianna): No, that is where people go to do drugs.
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh… Alright, never mind. Supply closet it is.
NICK (as Sentinel): Alright. I’ll see if I can find the supply closet.
NICK: I need someone to roll for me a Stealth check for Sentinel.
NICK: His Stealth is two green and a yellow, and this will be average difficulty.
CAMERON: Okay. Can he get a blue die for Tink’s guidance?
NICK: Tink, are you helping him get there without being seen?
HUDSON: Yeah, definitely.
NICK: Then yes, he can have a blue die.
CAMERON: Ah-ha. Oh nice, Sentinel! Two successes and a triumph!
NICK: Oh, nice.
HUDSON: Sentinel can turn invisible!
NICK: Apparently. Sentinel rolls very quickly through these corridors and gets very close to the library, and Tink, you’re able to track him on the security cameras. You give him a couple of warnings as guards go running by heading towards the north cell block and the movie theater and the fight that is still going on and you can still see happening.
[old-fashioned music begins]
You click the cameras over to the movie theater and you see Blue picking up guards by the chest and throwing them through the holo screen where they tear through it and hit a wall and slide down. There’s a large pile. Blue seems to be trying to see how many of these she can do in a row before they figure out not to get that close to her, and she’s at six, so it’s taking them a while.
[old-fashioned music ends]
But you click back to Sentinel getting to a supply door and popping it open, and you hear…
NICK (as Sentinel): Tink, there’s an unconscious Rodian in here.
NICK: …and we’re gonna cut away.
NICK: [laughs] So, Sentinel has somewhere to hide near the library. You all were heading to try to get the hooch from Jeyb. You’ve managed to free Sentinel and put him somewhere relatively safe for now. Where do you all meet up? Do Xianna and Tink leave the clinic?
LILIT: Yeah. We leave the clinic and, as stealthily as possible, make our way to Jeyb’s cell.
NICK: Okay. I’ll say on this side of the prison you all don’t need to do a Stealth check, because pretty much the entire guard population is on the opposite side at this point dealing with Blue. As you get to the entrance of the southern cell block, Tink and Xianna, you see HK and Karma walking forward carrying just a ludicrous amount of weapons, just so many.
CAMERON: I’m walking with the two hammers like people do when they’re on skis with their ski poles but they’re not actually skiing, they’re doing the walking thing with the ski, but doing that with the hammers as I walk.
NICK: [laughs] Nice.
HUDSON (as Tink): [gasps] What did you get me? What did you get me?
CAMERON (as Karma): First off…
CAMERON: Pick up one hammer, hand to Tink.
HUDSON (as Tink): Ooh~ Hammer time.
CAMERON (as Karma): It’s not as sharp as an axe, but…
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, this’ll do just fine.
CAMERON (as Karma): …it will dent things.
CAMERON: And then like shifting blasters around in her arms and stuff, reaches into a pocket and pulls out a scrap of newspaper type fabric that is not instantly identifiable as a slingshot, and hands it to Tink. It looks rather like a thong.
HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm, suggestive.
CAMERON: [laughs] And then takes out the handful of small odds and ends to use as the ammo for it.
CAMERON (as Karma): Here you go. There’s your slingshot.
HUDSON (as Tink): Thank you.
LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, a slingshot makes more sense.
HUDSON (as Tink): Why though?
CAMERON (as Karma): What did y’all think it was?
LILIT (as Xianna): It looked like a thong.
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.
LILIT (as Xianna): Which like, you know, if that’s what you like wearing that is very fun and is a nice color for you, it just didn’t seem like it applied to this situation.
HUDSON (as Tink): I mean, I’m not wearing underwear in the first place, so…
NICK (as HK): It might protect Tink’s crotch from getting stabbed.
LILIT (as Xianna): But the fur does that.
HUDSON (as Tink): The fur does that? [laughs]
LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, that is why you have all the fur.
HUDSON (as Tink): True.
NICK (as HK): Is THAT why you have all the fur?
HUDSON (as Tink): That’s not the only reason.
LILIT (as Xianna): It is more that… that is why we wear clothes is that we don’t have the fur, so we have to protect everything with the fabric.
HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm.
LILIT (as Xianna): You don’t need to because the fur, but if you want to wear underwear as like a fun little treat for yourself that is fun.
NICK (as HK): Tink, if your fur provides combat advantage I need you to share. Give me some of your fur. I will tape it to my body.
LILIT (as Xianna): No, we will just get you a fun outfit, maybe like a little floral sundress or some snazzy pants.
CAMERON (as Karma): I don’t know how much those are gonna help in combat.
NICK (as HK): My focus is combat efficacy.
CAMERON (as Karma): HK, if you’re looking for the defense upgrade, that would be a mechanical upgrade for you rather than the fur. Fur is not gonna do much for you.
LILIT (as Xianna): Or we could get him a fur vest, like a fun little vest made of fur.
HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm.
NICK (as HK): I volunteer for a fur vest. Tink, come here, I have a nano-blade. I can shave part of you.
HUDSON (as Tink): Oh no.
CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, how are you going to put that into a vest though right now?
NICK (as HK): If I accidentally stick him a little bit the blood will be sticky.
CAMERON (as Karma): That is—No?
LILIT (as Xianna): That is not how that works.
CAMERON (as Karma): Are you still trying to get his blood because you think he has the Force?
NICK (as HK): [suspiciously] No.
CAMERON (as Karma): Are you sure?
NICK (as HK): [suspiciously] No.
CAMERON (as Karma): Because this sounds suspicious.
NICK (as HK): No. Now I’m interested in fashion. It’s a new thing.
CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, well once we’re out of here we can go on a shopping spree and we can get you a fur coat.
NICK (as HK): [dejected] Fine.
CAMERON (as Karma): If we go shopping you can pick the color and everything.
NICK (as HK): When do we get to kill somebody? We haven’t killed anyone in a while.
CAMERON (as Karma): Sorry.
LILIT (as Xianna): That is what we are about to do!
CAMERON (as Karma): We’re working on it, but we got distracted with the fashion conversation.
NICK (as HK): That’s fair. I don’t know why I got so into that. I guess I just wanted to shave Tink. Tink, me and you will hang out later and we’ll do not that. We’ll do something else. It’ll be fine.
HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… you clearly have a thrashin’ for fashion that I am not very in-line with right now.
HUDSON (as Tink): But we can hang out later as long as it doesn’t involve blood and my fur and things.
NICK (as HK): Boss Man is correct. I indeed have a thrashin’ for fashion.
CAMERON: Karma shakes her head and hands three hold out blasters to Xianna.
LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh, blasters! Thank you.
CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm.
LILIT (as Xianna): Now I can shoot the people.
CAMERON (as Karma): Oh, and Tink, this is for you.
CAMERON: I hand you a sharpened spoon.
HUDSON (as Tink): [gasps]
CAMERON (as Karma): You need to give this to Tadzi or they’re going to kill you.
HUDSON (as Tink): You’re right. I almost forgot about that. I would have been caught very off-guard while being murdered, so thank you.
CAMERON (as Karma): So now you have a spoon. You are prepared.
HUDSON (as Tink): I am prepared.
NICK (as HK): Yes, this means you don’t have to worry about Tadzi killing you by surprise.
LILIT (as Xianna): Which is good, because I would have to pick a side in that, and I don’t want to do that.
NICK: HK shoulders his stun blaster, and you see him twist his hand and the wider forearm makes a clicking noise like a loading shotgun.
NICK (as HK): Alright. Where are we heading?
CAMERON (as Karma): This way.
CAMERON: Walk off in the direction of Big Jeyb’s cell. [laughs]
NICK: Okay. So you all head into the cell block then, as a group, heavily armed?
HUDSON: I stop by a water fountain first. I’ve been thirsty a long time.
NICK: There is indeed a water fountain. It is cold and delicious. Karma, do you leave the extra weapons you got for the rest of the squad like outside?
CAMERON: [indignant] No.
NICK: Okay. You’re still carrying—
NICK: —an extra hammer and a heavy blaster?
CAMERON: Until Blue gets here I’m using the heavy repeating blaster.
NICK: Oh, okay.
CAMERON: Because that doesn’t only have a stun setting.
NICK: Okay, okay.
CAMERON: And then the hammer I’m just dragging it along and I’ll probably leave it by the door as we walk in.
NICK: So, what is y’all’s plan of attack going after Big Jeyb? Are you gonna try to sneak up on him? Are you calling him out? What are you doing?
HUDSON (as Tink): I think we should do a sneaky attack where we go up and right as we’re getting close we go “AHHH” and then we run and then we just stab and shoot and shoot and stab.
LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, I kind of thought we were just going to all rush in at once and stab and shoot.
HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah.
CAMERON (as Karma): I don’t know if the screaming is necessary.
HUDSON (as Tink): I think it just brings a level of adrenaline and seriousness.
CAMERON (as Karma): That’s true. If it helps you feel more powerful wielding that hammer, go for it.
HUDSON (as Tink): Alright.
NICK: So, you charge through the cell block—
CAMERON: [giggling] We are an elite fighting unit.
NICK: An elite fighting unit. You all charge through the cell block. The cell block itself is weirdly quiet as you run through it. The cells are all occupied, but the occupants pretend not to see you or find themselves deciding to sleep instead. As you come to Big Jeyb’s cell you hear a struggle within. The barred door stands open and Big Jeyb is down on one knee. Endo is standing behind him. He makes eye contact with all of you and tilts his head. If his mouth was visible you’d swear he was smiling.
NICK (as Endo): Perfect!
NICK: He says, stabbing his electrified durasteel pole into Big Jeyb’s neck. He wrenches hard, and with a crack of bone and a jutter Big Jeyb slumps to the ground.
CAMERON: [disgusted noise]
NICK: What do you do?
LILIT (as Xianna): Oh no. Well, I mean, I guess that is less work for us.
HUDSON (as Tink): Someone beat us.
CAMERON: I’m aiming my blaster at Endo.
LILIT (as Xianna): Why do extra work if we don’t have to?
HUDSON (as Tink): True.
NICK (as Endo): Exactly, and then Big Jeyb’s death will be blamed on you all.
LILIT (as Xianna): I’m okay with that!
NICK (as Endo): And I’ll get away scot-free.
LILIT (as Xianna): That is okay.
HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, we’re not—Oh wait, I can’t say that. We are taking a vacation from the jail. We will be back.
LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, you can’t just say that stuff. You have to be more vague.
HUDSON (as Tink): We are taking a leave of absence of unknown origin.
CAMERON: [laughs] Tink!
LILIT (as Xianna): That is even worse. Tink, you just agree and you nod your head and you’re like “it is totally okay for you to pin this murder on us, it is fine,” and you just don’t mention that we are breaking out.
CAMERON (as Karma): I mean, it’s not like we weren’t gonna do the murder.
LILIT (as Xianna): Like, we were going to do it anyways.
HUDSON (as Tink): Endo, it’s totally fine that you pin the murder on us.
LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. Excuse me, Mr. Endo, you can totally blame this murder on us. We were going to do it anyway, so that doesn’t really change anything. And then, what if we just leave you alone and you leave us alone and then we start the riot? And you can do whatever you want during the riot, I don’t know, do crime things.
HUDSON (as Tink): Endo, do you wanna start the riot?
NICK (as Endo): Starting a riot does sound pretty good, but there’s one issue with your plan.
LILIT (as Xianna): Wait, what is that?
NICK (as Endo): There’s no way that Big Jeyb would have gone down to the four of you without one of you being killed.
CAMERON (as Karma): [laughs]
LILIT (as Xianna): Well what if one of us just gets like a sexy face cut? You know, the ones that go through like an eyebrow if you were to have an eyebrow. I don’t think any of us have eyebrows.
CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, I think Tink has eyebrows.
HUDSON (as Tink): I have eyebrows, yeah.
CAMERON (as Karma): Right? Some of that has to be eyebrow.
LILIT (as Xianna): Is it just a slightly different color fur or something?
HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, it’s more bushy off-color fur right above the eye.
LILIT: Xianna looks real up-close and is squinting.
LILIT (as Xianna): Oh yes, if you look right here…
LILIT: And points up.
LILIT (as Xianna): …you can see that the fur is a slightly different cream color. That’s the eyebrows.
HUDSON (as Tink): My eyebrows have sex appeal. I should be a model.
LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. So like what if one of us just gets punched in the face and we get a few cuts? Also, again, you have heard what Tink said because Tink did an oopsie, and now you know that we are breaking out, so like who is going to see us? We just splash more blood around and people might assume some of that blood is ours.
CAMERON (as Karma): Also, he’s already pretty injured from where you stabbed him earlier.
NICK (as Endo): That’s a good point. Okay, whoever wants the sexy face scar, come here.
LILIT (as Xianna): But do you promise to not actually do anything bad, just face scar? Because I could do that myself.
NICK (as Endo): Oh, I think it’ll need to be with the same weapon that killed Jeyb, because I’m going to leave it in his dead hand. There’s a whole plan here.
CAMERON (as Karma): That does not make any sense.
LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, what if you just hand me the weapon and I do it to myself? Wait, wait, wait. Why are—Why are we doing this?! Nobody is going to see us tomorrow, so why do I need the sexy eyebrow scar? No one will see us. We’re going to be gone.
CAMERON (as Karma): Why are you leaving the weapon that Big Jeyb was killed with in Big Jeyb’s hand?
NICK (as Endo): Because he got killed but took it and then killed someone else.
LILIT (as Xianna): That seems overly complicated.
HUDSON (as Tink): Endo, have you done this before? Have you done a murder before?
NICK (as Endo): [grinning, rhetorically] Have I done a murder before.
LILIT (as Xianna): Yes. Have you not ever framed someone for murder? This is not how you do it.
CAMERON (as Karma): You can talk to the warden for some tips. [laughs]
NICK (as Endo): Oh, so how would you recommend I frame someone for a murder?
LILIT (as Xianna): You have to leave somebody else’s weapon in Big Jeyb’s body. That way they see the weapon and they’re like, oh, whoever owns this weapon did the murder.
NICK: You see Endo’s weird coin eyes fixate on the sharpened crowbar that Karma is carrying.
NICK (as Endo): What a great idea.
NICK: He launches himself at Karma.
CAMERON: I shoot him! [laughs]
NICK: Okay, we’ll roll for initiative.
CAMERON: I’ve been aiming at him this whole time.
LILIT: Xianna throws her hands up.
LILIT (as Xianna): Ugh, we could have just talked this out. I was trying to be responsible for once in just trying to talk everything out, but I guess we are just going to murder people now! Ugh.
LILIT: She stomps off into a corner of the room, just like crosses her arms and has the biggest frown on her face.
LILIT (as Xianna): Maybe next time I will not try to be responsible. I will just shoot someone right in the face when we first walk into a room.
CAMERON: Karma got a success and three advantages.
LILIT: A success and two advantages.
HUDSON: Two successes.
NICK: Roll me two yellows and a green for HK, please.
CAMERON: Three successes.
NICK: Cool. So basically it’s just four PC slots in a row. We’re gonna do boss initiative on this. Y’all get to pick who goes first.
CAMERON: I’mma gonna shoot him.
CAMERON: And are we at medium range?
NICK: But you do have two black dice, because he has 2 defense to ranged attacks.
NICK: And also he’s Adversary 2.
CAMERON: I’m adding a blue die though, because I have Quick Strike and he hasn’t gone yet this encounter.
NICK: Yep, that’s fair.
CAMERON: Weird. An advantage and a triumph.
NICK: Huh… okay.
NICK: So you don’t hit him. Do you want to pass a blue die onto somebody else and have the triumph be that he falls prone and isn’t able to stab you as he comes towards you?
CAMERON: Yeah. So I think for the advantage I’ll pass on a blue die to whoever goes next, and for the triumph, as he’s coming at me to stab me with the crowbar he trips over Big Jeyb’s leg and falls prone.
[dramatic bass noise]
NICK: Okay. Yeah, so he’s launching through the air at you. Your quick shooting makes him have to duck faster than he expects, and he slides on his front. he starts to get up but isn’t able to close the distance as fast as he would like. He is most of the way to you all, but he has not engaged yet. You can see the rebar spike starting to glow with the heat of the battery that it is plugged into. We have another PC slot.
HUDSON: Tink turns around to HK and yells:
HUDSON (as Tink): HK, cover me! Suppress fire!
HUDSON: I start to run, and HK runs in front of me.
NICK (as HK): Finally~
NICK: Roll me his heavy weapons attack, Cameron?
NICK: Plus a blue die against average difficulty.
CAMERON: Average difficulty but the Adversary 2 so it’s two red?
CAMERON: Does he have the black die as well?
NICK: Yes he does.
CAMERON: Okay. I’d like to lodge an official complaint that I don’t like these red dice existing. HK has two advantages.
[synthy pop music begins]
NICK: Two advantages, so his suppressing fire he can pass along two blue dice to whoever goes next, but he doesn’t manage to suppress Endo as Endo launches himself sideways and then kicks off of one of the cell walls back towards you all. HK can’t track him because of how quickly he’s moving. So in the background you just see HK saying:
NICK (as HK): Suppressing fire.
NICK: [rapid fire noises] Tracking, but Endo is running faster than the bullets are tracking towards him. So we are at another PC slot. Endo is sprinting towards you all with his glowing stabby stick. Who would like to go next?
HUDSON: I start running with both hands on the hammer, wielding it above my head, yelling AHHH as I’m running towards Endo, and I slash forward.
NICK: Okay. The cell is lit by the lights of HK’s rapid stun bolts. Make your attack. You have two blue dice but you also have two black dice, one black die because your hammer is not very balanced and another one because Endo has Defense 1 for melee attacks, and it’ll be against two reds because he has Adversary 2.
HUDSON: So many dice. Two blue, two black, two red?
HUDSON: I have a triumph, three successes, and three advantages.
[synthy pop music ends]
NICK: Your hammer is Crit 3. Do you wanna crit +10 on him?
CAMERON: An 88, so a 98.
LILIT: A 98 is the one we renamed to Harmed. One limb is impaired until healed or replaced.
LILIT: Plus difficulty to all checks using that limb.
NICK: What limb would you like to injure seriously, Tink?
HUDSON: Right arm.
NICK: He’s rushing at you and you’re rushing at him, and he goes to stab you in the side where he stabbed you before. You lean back and just do a big hammer swing like a baseball bat and connect with his side, and there’s the crunch of exoskeleton as he goes staggering to the side and his arm is hanging limp. The rebar spike falls to the end of its wire and sizzles against his leg, and he picks it up with the left arm and continues to advance, but it looks like he got hurt really bad. How many successes did you say it was?
NICK: Three successes… Yeah, that’s not good. Okay. He is in bad shape, and he is going to attempt to stab you, Tink. He just continues to come at you, dripping a little bit of clear ichor out of his shattered shoulder. You could roll me two yellows and a green versus an average check, please?
CAMERON: Two successes.
NICK: Two successes, so that’s 4 damage, Pierce 4, Tink.
NICK: So, I think it just bypasses all your Soak, so you take 4 damage as he plants this spike into your chest. You’re able to skip back before it goes super deep, but it burns really bad and cauterizes as he pulls it free. You can hear a high-pitch chittering as he turns to see who’s going to try to attack him next. He also seems to be moving faster and faster as this goes on, like his adrenaline is kicking in. Last PC slot.
LILIT: I will very dejectedly shoot him.
CAMERON: I’m shooting him, but I’m not happy about it.
LILIT: Xianna rolls her eyes and pulls out her blaster and shoots him. Since Xianna isn’t moving at all, she is going to aim.
LILIT: How far away is Xianna being in the corner of the room?
NICK: I would say medium range. He’s probably engaged with the other three, but medium range for you.
LILIT: So that is four successes, three threats.
NICK: That’s a pretty dang solid hit. So let’s say that you shoot wildly enough that it makes the rest of the group have to duck out of the way so that they’re more vulnerable to attack, so he’ll have some blue dice on his next one from that threat, but you do hit him with one of your shots and it hits near the shoulder that had taken the hammer blow and he stumbles forward and looks pretty unhappy.
We are back to him again, and he is going to attempt to stab Karma who he is up next to, and he will roll an attack. Two yellow and a green at average difficulty. You don’t have any defense in your jumpsuit, do you?
CAMERON: In my jumpsuit? No. [laughs]
NICK: No. He gets two blue dice because you had to duck out of the way of some of the blaster fire.
CAMERON: Okay. I am going to use some Strain to Dodge.
CAMERON: Three advantages!
NICK: So, how do you make him miss?
CAMERON: So, at this point, because of how I was carrying all of the weapons I had to rig some, like, the crowbar’s like across my back but one end is in the pocket of the jumpsuit so that it’ll stay there, but I think I spin around and block the swing with the crowbar that’s across my back.
NICK: Very cool. At this point, as you block it, he summersaults past you and he’s in the doorway of the cell, and he turns back to the rest of you.
NICK (as Endo): I’m not going to forget this. You will see me again.
NICK: And he jumps backwards off of the catwalk and disappears into the darkness of the cell block.
HUDSON (as Tink): Well, I guess this is the Endo that episode.
NICK: I hate that so much.
CAMERON: That’s so beautiful!
CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show, please consider leaving a review on your podcast listening app of choice. Reviews will help new listeners to find the show, and every time we get one the squad gets warm fuzzies.
If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere else we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including some of my favorites, Bantha Buddy, Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, and Hot tub hangout, which all have fabulous rewards and super great names.
Xianna’fan is played by Lilit Penrod. They can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.
Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.
Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.
Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.
Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.
Additional music by James Gunter.
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad and join our Discord and share all your cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find a link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.