Transcript: S2 Episode 3: Heavy Lifting

Word document download: S2 Episode 3 Heavy Lifting

PDF download: S2 Episode 3 Heavy Lifting

Read in browser:

Tabletop Squadron Transcript – Season 2, Episode 3:
Heavy Lifting

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they hunt for galactic treasure, staying away from a bitter rival and growing closer together.

Everyone, first up I wanna talk a little bit about the setting of this arc. We had been planning this kick-off of Season 2 for a few months, and after the first section was recorded protests against police brutality began in earnest in the United States and worldwide. The squad are fervent believers in human rights and stand with the Black Lives Matter movement in believing we need real and definitive change in our world. We are extremely proud of our fans and supporters who have donated and protested and urge you to do all that you can.

Normally our show is pretty light, but we’re going to continue with this arc and urge that you listen when you are in a safe place and in a good frame of mind to listen to something set in a prison with a repressive and corrupt guard force that represents a fascist empire. Stay safe out there, friends.

On a happier note, we are pleased to announce that the Tabletop Squadron podcast will be hosting a virtual convention July 30 through August 2. The squad will be streaming several panels including a look into character creation and a Star Wars quiz show with special guests. We’ll also be having guests on to do other panels and game rooms for people to engage with each other. I may even be running a game or two that you can sign up for. Players might be picked by some sort of lottery system. More to come there.

With GenCon being cancelled in the name of public health we wanted to make sure everybody still had something to look forward to. The virtual con will be free to anyone who wants to attend, but we will have a list of suggested donation pages to important causes during this time. Keep on the lookout for additional announcements and schedules in the near future. We’re excited to see you there.

Also, we have a new patron! Esouhnet, thank you so much for supporting the show. Your intelligence and steady hands will be needed by the squad soon, so if you can hide Tink’s medical textbook and maybe help us keep everyone patched up… that’d be a big help. Thanks.

Music credit, content warnings, and how you can help take meaningful action in supporting efforts to stand against systematic racism ranging from organizations to donate to, educational resources, organizations seeking support, and other non-monetary responses will be available in the show notes this week.

So now, let’s get into the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 3 of Season 2. Woohoo! Coming to you live, except recorded, so not live. Hope everybody’s doing well this fine, kinda hot afternoon. Let’s go around the table. Everybody say who you’re playing today, who you are, and if you spent any experience since the last time we sat down let me know what you spent it on, starting with Lilit.

LILIT: Hello. I am Lilit, and I will be playing Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler. I put more ranks into Charm, Cool, and Deception.

NICK: Ooh, that’s a good idea.

LILIT: Yeah, spending points. It works.


NICK: Alright. Up next we have Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson, and I’m playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer. I did not spend any experience. I’m going to be hoarding it this round.

NICK: [chuckling] Sounds good. Last but not least we have Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I am Cameron, and I will be playing Karma Nailo, the Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Awesome. So, before we get started with the recap, let’s kick it off with the Destiny Roll!

CAMERON: One dark side.

LILIT: One dark side.

HUDSON: Two light side.


LILIT: Yeah~

NICK: Oh nice. So that brings our total to two and two, right?


NICK: Okay. So, kind of a quick recap of where we left off. Tink got into a fight in the prison cafeteria. He got sent to solitary confinement where he happened to run into Sentinel. Xianna and Karma were out on the prison yard making new friends and contacts. Xianna tried to buy drugs, and Karma talked to HK and showed him how to murder people, so that was a good choice.

CAMERON: [giggles] Was it?

NICK: Uh-huh. That’s where we’re going to pick it off. The scene opens on Tink sitting cross-legged in a dim durasteel box. He’s sitting with his head kind of resting up against the wall. Coming faintly through the wall, Tink, you hear the voice of Sentinel say:

NICK (as Sentinel): So, what exactly brings you to the Kajim Regional Incarceration Facility?

HUDSON: I start playing my harmonica I’ve obtained.


NICK: Oh, that’s concerning. Where were you keeping that?

[sad harmonica music begins]

HUDSON: I traded it for a pack of smokes.

NICK: [laughs] Okay. So, you’re ignoring Sentinel and playing harmonica instead? That’s what’s happening?

HUDSON: Just for the moment, and then I stop and I say:

HUDSON (as Tink): Well, it’s a long and sorted tale… Eh, not really. So what I’m in here for is I was hired—Well, I don’t know if I can, how much I can say.

NICK: There’s a long pause and Sentinel says:

NICK (as Sentinel): Alright… well, we don’t have a lot going on, so… have I ever told you the story of the loth-cat and the Tatooine tortoise?

[sad harmonica music ends]

HUDSON (as Tink): No. I’ve never heard that one.

NICK (as Sentinel): Long ago there lived a loth-cat…

NICK: And we’re gonna jump away from that. The last thing, Xianna and Karma, that you all saw on the prison yard was HK stalking off towards the cafeteria holding his stun rifle and waving the rifle at Xianna and saying…

NICK (as HK): Do not fraternize, prisoners.

NICK: …and walking away. You have a little bit more time on the yard before the bell rings and you are sent back to the cell block. We cut over to Karma and Xianna. The two of you have walked back towards each other next to the weights, so there’s a lot of different muscly aliens doing bench press and squats and just getting their very glisteny swole on. You’re next to a bench that a Dug is sitting on doing bicep curls but with his feet, with both feet at the same time.

CAMERON: Are they still bicep curls if they’re with his feet?

NICK: Yes. They are now.


HUDSON: [chuckles]

NICK: Uh, leg-cep… curls.

CAMERON: I don’t know how Dug anatomy works.

LILIT: Thigh curls. Heh.

HUDSON: [with a laugh] Ew.

NICK: Well, the thing is, like, their knees are inverted so they don’t have quads, they have like biceps on their legs, so… ick. Anyway.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: You two are able to meet up next to this weightlifting area and kind of touch base and make a plan.

CAMERON: Karma’s gonna pick up some free weights so it looks like there’s a reason why we’re standing here.

NICK: [laughs] Okay. You just have a barbell that you’re wiggling around.

CAMERON: Yeah, like doing some tricep stuff behind me, hold it above my head just with my arm straight, very professional stuff. Yes.

CAMERON (as Karma): So did you get the good ramen?

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, well, I have to get money first. I don’t really have enough for the good ramen and any of the drugs, so… I guess I’m going to start gambling. That seems like a good plan, right?

LILIT: Xianna sort of casually leans on one of the equipment racks and is just staring off into the distance.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah… gambling. That’ll work out fine.

CAMERON (as Karma): What are you going to use to enter the game if you don’t have any money? Because you’re gonna have to put something forward for them to let you join so that you can win money.

LILIT (as Xianna): I have a tiny plastic shiv that I found.

CAMERON (as Karma): [chuckling nervously] Okay.

LILIT (as Xianna): And then, um… I don’t know after that. I will figure it out. Maybe I will just lie and then I will have to win so that I don’t have to pay anyone.

CAMERON: Karma switches to bicep curls, using her arms though.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON: That’s how Nautolans work.

CAMERON (as Karma): You could pickpocket some people beforehand. That’s your skillset.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh yeah, stealing is always an option.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah.

LILIT (as Xianna): That was a backup plan. You get kitchen duty and then you steal food, or kitchen duty and steal kitchen knives. Basically kitchen duty is a good one to get because there are lots of things to steal there.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, if you get kitchen duty get me a knife.

LILIT (as Xianna): I will get us all knives, and food, and maybe spoons.

CAMERON (as Karma): Grab a few pudding cups.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): And extra pudding cups, and seasoning packets. You can keep those little salt packets in your pockets, but you can keep it with the little top of it ripped off, and then you can throw the salt packets at people and it gets in their eyes and it hurts a lot.

CAMERON (as Karma): You could also just pick up sand, though. This yard is sand. It gets everywhere.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, but then it gets everywhere inside your pockets, but if you have little salt packets it is the same thing but more contained and it doesn’t ruin the lining of your pockets.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, but I mean I’m not really invested in this jumpsuit, so if I ruin it, darn.

NICK: So, Xianna, do you head over to go and gamble?

LILIT: Yeah. Xianna’s gonna saunter over there. Are they sitting on the ground gambling? Do they have a table? What’s their setup?

NICK: There is a group of three or four prisoners crouched around a corner of the fence, there’s a guard that seems to come by more often over there, and then there’s a crowd of people kind of cycling through that’s between five and ten people around the crouched group, and it looks like they’ve got a couple of chance cubes that they’re rolling and betting over. It’s got the usual cheering and groaning as people win and lose.

LILIT: Yeah. Xianna’s gonna head that way and try to casually lean up against a wall or the fence and watch them for a minute or two to gather what game they are playing, how much it seems like they’re betting, what they’re betting with, and who some of the top players are.

NICK: Okay, that’ll be pretty easy. Karma, are you going with Xianna or are you wandering off to do something else?

CAMERON: I’m sticking in the free weight area trying to make some strong friends, so I’m assisting with spotting some people and showing off how strong we can all be together… so we should be friends.

NICK: Okay. So, to ascertain what the lowdown skinny on the gambling is, that feels very much like a Streetwise check. It will be hard difficulty with two black dice, because you haven’t been to this prison before and they’re playing a game that’s a modification of one that you would know, but it’s not like a normal one.

LILIT: Okay, I have at least one level in Street Smarts, so I can remove a black die from Streetwise or Knowledge checks. I think I might have another one somewhere. Okay… Ooh. [laughs] Okay. I have one full triumph with its success, another triumph that has had its success cancelled out, and three threats.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: Yay. Okay. So… We’ll say one of the triumphs is that you know someone who’s playing, the other triumph is you know this gambling game and you know a pretty good way to cheat at it, unless you wanna spend them on something else.

LILIT: No, I like those.

NICK: Okay. You recognize this gambling game of chance cubes as the Rancor Roundup, which is a game that they play in a lot of prison yards, because you only need two chance cubes and it’s hard to cheat at, but you know that there’s a way to throw the dice where it’s more likely to land a certain way and you also know that there’s a specific kind of house bet that you can do that actually has good odds. So you’re like oh, Rancor Roundup, this is a good way to make some money. You also see someone that you recognize that is the one with the hot hands right now, they’re the one rolling the dice. Who are they?

LILIT: Well, their nickname is definitely gonna be Hot Hands.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: Hot Hands! … Karma.


NICK: You are lifting weights over in the strong prisoner area.

CAMERON: [chuckles]

NICK: You said you were trying to make strong friends. How exactly are you going about doing that?

CAMERON: So, going through lifting heavier and heavier weights to prove that I too am strong so I should be in their friend group, and then volunteering to spot some folks while they’re doing bench press if they’re doing it on their own, since I’m assuming it’s not super-nice equipment since we’re in a jail, so there’s probably potential for you to very easily drop the bar on yourself and hurt yourself.

NICK: Oh for sure. These are like free weights, but because it’s Star Wars the weights are shaped weird. Like, there’s triangles and hexagons and straight lines, and some of the things look like they used to have hover components but all of those are broken or torn off, so it’s half Olympic weight room half junkyard.

CAMERON: I think the bench press would normally have hovers on the bar, so if it noticed that it was starting to fall too quickly it would catch itself and not kill you, but those are broken.

NICK: Oh yeah. Somebody definitely scavenged those as soon as they were installed to try to make a prison yard gun or something.

CAMERON: Yeah. So, the first person I’m assisting with spotting them on the bench press is a Herglic.

NICK: Oh, okay.

CAMERON: Because I like Herglics.

NICK: Yeah. That’s the second Herglic in the population, so that’s interesting. Are you trying to charm them or impress them with your strength? Like, what attribute you are using to try to make friends?

CAMERON: I think mostly impressing them with my strength, not a whole lot of talking happening.

NICK: Okay, so make me a… I’ll say Athletics probably. Athletics feels very weight-lifty.

CAMERON: Okie-dokie. What is the difficulty on the Athletics?

NICK: We’ll say this. If you do average it’ll be a person that knows you. If you do hard they’ll like you. if you do daunting they will be willing to put themselves in danger for you.

CAMERON: When you say that they know me, is that a bad thing?

NICK: No, like a good thing.

CAMERON: Okay [laughs], because I am a bounty hunter.

NICK: Oh yeah. That’s never gonna come up. Don’t worry about it.

CAMERON: Alright cool. I’m gonna do hard.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: Because Karma’s strong, but not that strong.

NICK: Will you flip me a dark side point to upgrade that check?

CAMERON: [sighing, reluctant] Sure. Ugh. I like this less now.

NICK: Yeah, I know.

CAMERON: Um… hmm. Okay. Two successes, one threat, and a despair.

NICK: Hey~! I have a big smile on my face.

HUDSON: [chuckles]

NICK: Okay, so two successes…

NICK & CAMERON: One threat.

NICK: …and a despair.

CAMERON: Uh-huh. So, since I was successful and the hard was having someone like me…

NICK: Uh-huh?

CAMERON: …can the despair be that we introduced one of the characters who knows me as Karma the bounty hunter?

NICK: Oh yeah.


NICK: Trying to decide which one.

CAMERON: [laughing] How many did I put in here?

NICK: At least three. I was thinking about it yesterday.

CAMERON: Oh great. Okay.

NICK: So, with two successes, a despair and a threat, this Herglic has 150-200 kilos of weight on this bar, just a ridiculous amount, and it starts to fail, and she isn’t able to keep the bar from sinking towards her chest, and you are helping someone else, but you stop helping them, come over, and you grab it. It’s too heavy for you, but between the two of you you’re able to get the weight re-racked, and she sits up and says:

NICK (as Herglic): Oh, well thank you very much. That could have been really bad. You must be some of the fresh meat.

NICK: From behind you, you hear:

NICK (as ???): Oh, it’s not just fresh meat, brother.

NICK: You turn around and you see a light clover green Gigoran who says:

NICK (as Gigoran): That’s Karma the bounty hunter.

NICK (as Herglic): Well whoever she is she’s more helpful than you, Ziller.

NICK: And we’re gonna cut away from the weights.

CAMERON: [giggles nervously]

NICK: Back to Xianna. You’ve seen someone that you recognize and you know this game, the Rancor Roundup. Who, with the hot hands, is currently winning this game?

LILIT: So, there is a blue Twi’lek named Tadzi’texa that I knew growing up. They lived on Ryloth, and their nickname is Hot Hands, because even back then they liked playing card games and gambling. Xianna and Tadzi did briefly date for a time as teens, but it was as teens and so they are now on good terms because they realized that dating when you are 15 is silly.


LILIT: “That wasn’t real dating. Whatever. We’re still friends.”

NICK: We see Tadzi shaking up these chance cubes. [shakes dice] So, Tadzi is rolling the dice, throws them, they land in a small group of gravel and scatter in a weird direction, and everyone sucks in a breath around the circle. Tadzi looks up and makes eye contact with Xianna and goes…

NICK (as Tadzi): Holy kriff. Xiann?

NICK: …and the dice fall to both on the red side, which is how you lose, and everyone cheers. Tadzi looks at the chance cubes on the ground and says…

NICK (as Tadzi): Kriff. Oh, this is bad for multiple reasons.

NICK: …and stands up and starts to edge back into the crowd, away from the chance cubes while everyone is celebrating.

LILIT: Xianna’s gonna work through the crowd to go stand next to them and talk to them a little bit.

LILIT (as Xianna): So, sorry about the dice… but it is good to see you~

NICK (as Tadzi): You’ve always been sort of a bad luck charm for me, Xiann. I am a little concerned that you’re here… and also I didn’t have the marker to cover that roll, so we’re gonna wanna move away from this very quickly.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh. Okay. Got you. Let’s leave. Let’s go by the strong people, that way my strong friend can beat them up if they come for us.

NICK: You and Tadzi start to head towards the weight area, and as you’re going a Rodian picks up the chance cubes, stands up, looks through the crowd and says…

NICK (as Rodian): Hey, Tadzi, you gotta cover this bet.

NICK: …and everyone turns around, and you hear mob mumbles starting, and Tadzi says…

NICK (as Tadzi): Yeah, let’s go. Let’s go quickly.

NICK: …and starts to do that fast walk towards the weight lifting area across the yard. Do you wanna make me a roll to see how quickly you can get back to Karma before this crowd catches you?

LILIT: Would that be like a Streetwise?

NICK: It would be a Streetwise if you’re trying to see the lay of the land. I would take a Stealth if you’re trying to break eye contact in a crowd. I would take Coordination if you’re trying to front handspring your way through. I’m open to whatever.

LILIT: I was gonna ask if there’s enough people out in this prison yard that we could stealth through the crowd and try to loop around so that the gambling crowd sort of loses us, or if it’s sparse enough out on this field that that’s not really a possibility.

NICK: This prison is, you can tell, a little overcrowded, like they all are. This one though, this yard is a big piece of the real estate of it, so it’s this weird combination of there’s open ground with nobody but then like packs of prisoners wandering from area to area, so if you were able to chain your route through a few of them you could probably break line of sight and see if you could throw them off, but if you don’t then you’re gonna be out in the open without anybody else around.

LILIT: Then yeah, I’ll do a Stealth check to try to lead us through these crowds and snake around in order to get to the weight area.

NICK: Okay. it’s gonna be a hard Stealth check and two black dice, because Tadzi isn’t particularly stealthy and is still kinda shocked to see you so you’re having to tow them along.

LILIT: Would you say that this is a chase and that I’m escaping an opponent?

NICK: Yeah, I would say that. That’s fair.

LILIT: Then I can add a blue die, because I have Shortcut. During a chase I can add a blue die per rank in Shortcut to any checks made to catch or escape an opponent.

NICK: Nice. Okay.

LILIT: [rolls] Uh… Once per session I can reroll any one Skulduggery or Stealth check using Natural Rogue.


NICK: Okay.

LILIT: Because there were a lot of failures in there and a lot of threats and I didn’t like that. This is a lot better. There we go. Two successes and one threat.

NICK: Okay. You’re able to keep ahold of Tadzi’s hand and loop through several crowds and break eye contact. You can hear from a distance this crowd saying “where’d they go,” “they owe us so much money,” “where is it,” and you manage to make it over near the weightlifting area just as you hear:

NICK (as Ziller): That’s Karma the bounty hunter, brother.

NICK: And this big Herglic stands up and says…

NICK (as Herglic): Don’t call me brother, you green furry jerk.

NICK: …and picks up the weight like a bat and starts to heft it. Ziller looks at Karma and says…

NICK (as Ziller): You’re the reason I’m in here, and you killed my brothers. You’re not gonna make it out of here.

NICK: …as you see Xianna and a blue Twi’lek with long, sharpened canines pull up to a stop right behind Ziller.

LILIT: Xianna comes to a stop and shoots their arm out mom style and stops Tadzi.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ooh… Ooh. Okay. Maybe we don’t go over here. It looks like my strong friend is also in a fight.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): So let’s just stay back here and pretend that we know nobody.

NICK (as Tadzi): Didn’t you just get here? How are you already having problems?

LILIT (as Xianna): This is surprising, because she is the responsible one.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t think anybody would be surprised that I am already having problems, but… Ohh! She is a bounty hunter, which is not good for her to be in here. I think what is happening is that she is running into people that she has put in the prison and she might get shanked, so we should stay back.

NICK: Tadzi says…

NICK (as Tadzi): She’s a bounty hunter?!

NICK: …and then some people around them go “there’s a bounty hunter in here,” and you see more people turning around.

LILIT (as Xianna): No! No. No bounty hunters here. We are just talking about how much they are bad. Yes. Bounty hunters, so terrible.

NICK: Karma makes eye contact with Xianna as Xianna says that bounty hunters are bad and terrible, and Ziller starts to stalk towards Karma and her new Herglic friend who says…

NICK (as Herglic): Well, it looks like we’re about to be going to solitary together. you can call me Blue.

NICK: …and Blue hefts a big thing of weight, and Ziller starts to move closer. I need you to roll initiative, Karma.

CAMERON: [laughs nervously] Okay. [sighs] Three successes, two advantages.

NICK: Nice. Can you roll me two yellows and a green?

CAMERON: Three successes, an advantage, and a triumph.

NICK: And can you roll me two greens and a yellow?

CAMERON: Three successes, two advantages.

NICK: So, Ziller stalks forward and you find that in your dropping into a fighting stance, Karma, that you and Blue are actually backed up against the weight bench that you were on, and Ziller picks up a one-handed barbell and swings it just straight towards your head.

[heavy rock music begins]

You were expecting some sort of circling or some sort of posturing, and he just goes straight for trying to hit you in the face with a big heavy weight, so I need you to roll me two greens and a yellow, average difficulty, but two blue dice.

CAMERON: I’m going to take two levels of Dodge, so I’m upgrading the difficulty of the attack by two.

NICK: Wow. Okay.

CAMERON: So it is now two red dice, mwahahaha, because I don’t have my armor on… I am not as strong as I once was. Semi-helpful. Two successes, one threat.

NICK: So that’s gonna be 7 damage coming at you.

CAMERON: [grunts]

NICK: But you do get—he’s very off-balance, he put it all into that, and hits you in the collarbone, and you feel the bone creek a little bit, and he’s very off-balance. Now it is you and Blue’s turn. Who would you like to go?

CAMERON: I’ll go first.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: I would like to use Quickdraw to pick up a weight.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: So, yay. I’m now doing Melee. [laughs]

NICK: What kind of weight do you pick up, like a one-handed one, or like a plate, or…?

CAMERON: Um… Can I have one of the ball weights that just has the handle on top of it?

NICK: Kettle bell?

CAMERON: Yeah, kettle bell.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: So I can just swing it and whack it into his head.

NICK: Okay. So for that it’ll do +2 damage, but it’s not heavy enough to need a black die for being hard to swing.

CAMERON: Cool. Can I get a blue die for the threat he had last time, because he’s off-balance?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Six successes…

NICK: [startled] Ohh!

CAMERON: …one threat. You said it was +2?

NICK: Yeah, so that’s 11 damage. [laughs] Geez.


NICK: You break his freaking face. He spins around. He almost drops, not quite, because he’s still a big bulky boy, but then Blue goes and Blue rears back with that big weight, but just before Blue swings, Xianna, you and Tadzi hear…

NICK (as ???): There they are! They’re over by the weights!

NICK: …and this big crowd of people start charging across, and I need you to roll Vigilance as well

LILIT: Can do. I have a rank in Vigilance.

NICK: Hey, good job.

LILIT: What’s… Oh, Vigilance is Willpower.

NICK: [laughs]

LILIT: Oh no… Two successes.

[rock music ends]

NICK: Two successes. Then, could you roll me two yellow dice for the mob?

LILIT: Yes. That is one success and three advantages.

NICK: Cool. This mob starts to charge at you, but you have enough time that you think you’ll be able to do something before they get to you and Tadzi, and Blue goes ahead and wheels back and swings with all her might at Ziller who is still reeling from the last smack. I need a yellow and two greens rolled, please.

CAMERON: Okay. Two successes, one advantage.

NICK: So that’s 8 damage into Ziller’s face. Ziller just drops. Turns out blunt force head trauma is a pretty good way to put somebody down. The mob continues to charge. Karma, with your situational awareness you’re able to look up as Blue stands over Ziller holding this big metal bar with heavy weights on it and says…

NICK (as Blue): Yeah. Let’s say things about Herglics again. Let’s go!

NICK: …and this giant group of people—it started as like 10, but now it’s like 25, as they pick up other groups and are just moving towards the weights, and you can see the strong aliens picking up weights and starting to square off, too, as these groups charge at each other. Xianna, it’s your turn. What are you gonna do? [chuckles]

LILIT: Xianna’s gonna reach into her little jumpsuit and pull out the tiny little flimsy shiv that she found and is going to shove it into Tadzi’s hand.


LILIT (as Xianna): Here. You will probably get beat up more than me, so you can use this.

NICK (as Tadzi): Oh thanks. It’s like we’ve never been apart. We’re picking up right where we left off.

NICK: Tadzi spins it in their fingers to a backhanded grip and sets themself for this charging crowd. Do you wanna do anything else?

LILIT: Yeah. So Xianna puts the shiv into Tadzi’s hand and starts sidestepping away.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay, but this time remember to watch your six. You never did that, and that is why you got hit a lot. Okie bye~

NICK: Are you just abandoning Tadzi? [chuckles]

LILIT: Not completely abandoning, but is going to try to blend into the crowd just a little bit more, because Xianna can tell that this is heading towards a full-yard riot but would like to not get hit right away, would like to try and weather it out a few minutes without getting punched, so that way when she gets punched towards the end it’s not as bad.

CAMERON: [chuckles]

NICK: Okay.

LILIT: Conserve the energy.

NICK: Makes sense. Roll me three green dice versus an average check. Let’s see how Tadzi does as this wave of angry gamblers breaks over them.

LILIT: They have a success and an advantage.

NICK: So they do okay. Tadzi grabs the shoulder of the Rodian that first pointed them out and plants the shiv in their side a couple of times and moves them off and then takes a punch to the face and bites somebody with their sharpened canines. Then I need Karma and Xianna to roll me a Force die, please.


LILIT: One light side.

CAMERON: Two dark side.

NICK: Okay! This turns very quickly into a full-yard riot. The weightlifting prisoners have grabbed weights and are wading in towards the gambling prisoners. Everyone is surrounding Tadzi and fighting on either side. You get the feeling that there was a lot of pent up irritation going on in the yard and it’s just time for that to all come out. All of a sudden, over the PA system, you hear…

NICK (as ???): Prisoner riot on the yard. Put ‘em down.

NICK: …and stun bolts start flying out of the towers. They’re big, big stun bolts. They look like turbo laser blasts, but they’re blue, and the very first one plants itself in Karma’s chest and throws her backwards ten yards, and she slides on the ground, and she’s completely unconscious, just completely fried. You have a moment of feeling yourself being lifted off your feet, Karma, and looking at the sky, and you think “oh, they have that new stun technology, I saw those cannons at a convention,” and then you hit the ground and you’re unconscious.

CAMERON: “Jet was telling me about these.”

NICK: Yeah. Xianna, you do not get hit with the first barrage, and you are able to drop down on the ground, so we see you crawling amongst the scrambling feet of these fighting prisoners, and you see Tadzi, a few people over, also crawling on the ground trying to get away, because they pulled the cartoon thing of starting the fight and then ducking out of the fight. What do you do?

LILIT: So, Xianna is crawling on the ground, but instead of elbow army crawling she’s a little bit more on her hands and knees and is going to try to, while walking through, picking the pocket of some of the shorter inmates in the confusion as she’s going by.

NICK: [laughs] Okay. Make me a Skulduggery check.

LILIT: Like, is using the momentum of other people running into each other and jostling to hide the fact that she’s rummaging in pockets.

NICK: This is going to be daunting, because people are also trying to stab you and getting shot all around you, so this is a very difficult check.

CAMERON: We also have three light side points.

LILIT: Oh yeah. I’m gonna use a light side point. I got two successes and one advantage.

NICK: Nice. What would you like to have found?

LILIT: Okay. Xianna will have like to have found a few units of money, however we’re doing money in this prison, if it is credits or money.


LILIT: And maybe a few death sticks, and a pudding cup, or some other form of pocket-sized snacks. A bag of Funyuns. Space Funyuns. Spunyuns.

NICK: Spunyuns. Yep. You got it.


LILIT: A bag of Spunyuns. That’s going down in the notes.


LILIT: Can they be flaming hot Spunyuns?

NICK: Sure. You’re able to pull 200 Credits out of four different people’s pockets, and you find two death sticks that are on the ground. Someone gets lifted up by the neck in front of you and shaken really, really hard, and then the person lifting them and the person being lifted both get hit with stun bolts and fly backwards, and where they were standing is a bag of flaming hot Spunyuns, and you just hear [magical noise, like finding an item in a video game] and you’re able to grab that and put it in a pocket.

LILIT: It’s a slow-mo shot, and she’s reaching her hand up into the air as the Spunyuns fly into it.

NICK: Yeah. You’re able to jam them in your jumpsuit, and then you hear the stomping of feet and you get kicked in the head by somebody trying to run past you, and then you hear the sound of stun bolts flying, and you also are knocked unconscious. The camera zooms out and we see this large mob fighting and rioting in the yard as the outsiders are slowly whittled down by stun bolts until it’s just, it’s like a Civil War documentary of people just sprawled out everywhere in uncomfortable directions, and you see several of the guards have walked onto the yard and are walking amongst all of the unconscious prisoners, occasionally poking at them.

The next thing we see is Blue and Karma and Ziller and Xianna regain consciousness in that little lobby of the solitary confinement induction area. Someone dragged you there. You all sit up and there’s a bored-looking guard in a plexiglass box.

NICK (as guard): Wow, we’re sure having a busy day. I’ve got Rooms 1, 2, 10 and 13. The Nautolan and the purple Twi’lek, why don’t you take 10 and 13. Blue, good to see you, Ziller, you guys got 1 and 2.

NICK: He goes back to reading a magazine and the durasteel doors pop open in this row of solitary confinement cells.

LILIT (as Xianna): Karma, do you want 10 or 13?

CAMERON (as Karma): Uh—

LILIT (as Xianna): I want 13.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay cool. I was gonna say 10.

LILIT (as Xianna): Cool. That works out very well for us.

CAMERON (as Karma): See you later, Blue.

NICK (as Blue): Bye. See you in a week or two.

LILIT (as Xianna): Bye everyone~

CAMERON: [chuckles]

NICK: Ziller starts to walk into Room 2 and Blue just bodily shoulders him into Room 1 and then goes into Room 2 and shuts the door behind her. So, do you all just enter your solitary confinement cells?


NICK: Cool.

CAMERON (as Karma): Tink, which room are you in?

CAMERON: I’m doing the standard I’m walking into a dressing room trying to find a friend thing.

NICK: Heh. You call to see where Tink is and the guard says:

NICK (as guard): Now none of that. It’s solitary confinement.

HUDSON (as Tink): Did someone say my name?

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: The door slams shut with a clang.

LILIT: As Xianna is walking into her cell she looks at the guard and does a big wave and smiles.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okie! I’m going into my cell now, guard. I am Xianna.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): Ello guard. Okie bye~!

NICK: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): I am in cell 13!

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: You hear a low mumble from outside that sounds familiar and then the clang of new people being brought into solitary. Karma and Xianna, you have several hours before you’re able to hear anything or adjust to the environment. How do you handle solitary?

LILIT: A nap.

NICK: You just immediately go to sleep?

LILIT: Oh yeah. Xianna just immediately finds a little area that’s, it’s not comfortable but it’s not ‘not’ comfortable, and probably takes off the jumpsuit, roll it up and make a little pillow and takes a nap.

NICK: Nice. The ground’s a little chilly, but the pillow’s worth it.

LILIT: Well what was the weather like outside? Was it hot?

NICK: Yeah, it was hot.

LILIT: Then yeah, cool concrete.

CAMERON: That feels nice.

LILIT: Yeah. Cats do it for a reason.

NICK: Yeah. [laughs]

LILIT: Xianna’s going to too.

NICK: Cool. What about you, Karma?

CAMERON: I think Karma’s gonna react in a pretty similar way. I think go sit in a corner, prop myself up with the wall, cross my arms over my stomach and huddle down, because getting shot with stun blasters hurts.

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: Even though we’re awake now there’s probably some lingering headaches, nausea type stuff happening, so just leaning in a corner.

NICK: After a couple of hours, you all are comfortable as can be, and you wake up. you hear through a small, small gap in the durasteel walls the sound of Tink talking to himself.

HUDSON (as Tink): I don’t know man, I’ve just been, we’ve been in here a long time. I know we’ve been in here a long time, I just don’t think we can make it, but… I, um… We need to…

HUDSON: I grab the harmonica and I start playing.

HUDSON (as Tink): [to the tune of “Bad to the Bone,” hums] Trapped in a cell. [hums] Man, it’s… it’s really—[sobs] Trapped in a cell~!

CAMERON: [chuckles] Aw.

NICK: Karma, you hear another voice which sounds very familiar say:

NICK (as Sentinel): Tink, you really need to work on those lyrics. I don’t know how long you’re going to be in here, but you’ve only had the two lines and I’m pretty sure it’s been like five hours.

HUDSON (as Tink): The creative process takes time, Sentinel.

NICK (as Sentinel): Well, the good news is that’s what we have… Time.

NICK: Xianna, you can hear Sentinel and Tink having this conversation as well.

LILIT: Is it coming through an air vent?

NICK: There’s a tiny crack in some of the durasteel seams, so it’s really quiet, but as you’ve adjusted to the quiet you’re able to hear it faintly until it’s pretty listenable.

CAMERON: How long has Tink actually been in solitary?

NICK: Oh, probably like four hours.

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink~

CAMERON (as Karma): It’s been four hours.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes, it has only been four hours.

HUDSON (as Tink): [startled, stammering] What? Wh-What? Who is there?

CAMERON (as Karma): How are you talking to yourself already?

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, it is me, Xianna.

HUDSON (as Tink): From the outside world?!

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes from the outside world. You have been in here for four hours.

CAMERON (as Karma): Did you not hear us yell for you when we came in?

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh… I thought that was just a dream.

CAMERON (as Karma): Nah buddy, we’re real. We promise. That’s something people in your dreams would never say.

CAMERON: [giggles]

HUDSON (as Tink): Well, yeah… No, yeah, they’d never say that.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, they would say things like “here is your spaghetti, put it on your head,” and then they hand you a bowl of hot dogs.


LILIT (as Xianna): That is what something in a dream would say to you.

CAMERON (as Karma): Huh.

HUDSON (as Tink): Just to be clear, we don’t have any food here, right?


LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, I have a bag of Funyuns in my pockets, but I am not going to eat it. I am going to save it for later.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright…

LILIT (as Xianna): Because if you get a bag of ramen you can crush up the Funyuns and put it on top of the ramen.

HUDSON (as Tink): You know, it’s been a hard time here in the clink, but…

CAMERON: [giggles]

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, you have been in here for four hours!

HUDSON (as Tink): How do you know the struggles I’ve been through?

CAMERON (as Karma): We haven’t even been here a full day.

LILIT (as Xianna): I have been to jail more than once.

HUDSON (as Tink): We should just focus on the fact that we have our friendship to lean on and that it’s great that we’re all in here together.

LILIT (as Xianna): It is. I have already found other friends in here.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh. Who?

LILIT (as Xianna): A childhood friend.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

LILIT (as Xianna): They might be beaten up, but hopefully they ended up okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): You had friends as a child?

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes…?

CAMERON: I can’t decide if that was supposed to be rude or not.

HUDSON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): Why did you think I did not have friends?

HUDSON (as Tink): You just come across as the kind of person who would, you know, just… not?

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): But I am so friendly~ It is parents that I did not have growing up.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ohh!

LILIT (as Xianna): Well like, my mother was there, but like, also not there, if you know what I mean.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh like they were invisible.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): N-No… I meant that as a single working mother she often had to be out of the house not watching us because she had to work to provide for her family and also go, you know, work against the Empire.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ahh. Yeah, that sounds important and all. Alright, well your childhood friend, so what’s their name?

LILIT (as Xianna): Tadzi.

HUDSON (as Tink): Tadzi. Huh.

LILIT (as Xianna): It is a traditional Twi’lek name. Don’t make fun of it.

HUDSON (as Tink): I’m not making fun of it. I think it’s just a tad-zi bit unique.

CAMERON: Whoa. [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): That doesn’t work in Twi’lek!


LILIT (as Xianna): I hope you know. I hope you know it only works in Basic.

HUDSON: [laughs]

NICK: From Sentinel’s cell you hear:

NICK (as Sentinel): Now, as nostalgic as it is to hear this style of conversation for the first time in what feels like a very long time, what are you all doing in this prison?

LILIT (as Xianna): Sentinel~! Ello.

NICK (as Sentinel): Hi Xianna.

NICK: And that’s gonna be the end of the episode.

CAMERON: [laughs]

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show, please consider leaving a review on your podcast listening app of choice. Reviews will help new listeners to find the show, and every time we get one the squad gets warm fuzzies.

If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere else we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including some of my favorites, Bantha Buddy, Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, and Hot tub hangout, which all have fabulous rewards and super great names.

Xianna’fan is played by Lilit Penrod. They can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad and join our Discord and share all your food and cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find a link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.

Leave a Reply

Scroll to top