Transcript: Episode 50 The Saga Begins

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 50:
The Saga Begins

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Well squad mates, this is Episode 50 and is the beginning of the Season 1 finale arc. There’s a few episodes to go, and I promise I’ll give you a heads up as we get to the end. It’s been a heck of a ride, and the entire squad wants to say thank you for coming along with us. You’re fantastic, and we wouldn’t be doing this without the kind of positive feedback and community that our listeners provide. We have some extremely cool stuff planned to fill in between Season 1 ending and Season 2 starting, and we’re excited to share it with you. thank you so much.

Speaking of thanks, Killer Warhawk, thanks for your iTunes review. We’re glad you’re enjoying the show. We also have some new patrons this week. Michael Howard, thank you so much for supporting us in our endeavor to rid the galaxy of the Empire. We’ve got some experimental armor in the cargo bay, so swing by and we’ll get to testing it right away. Kystel Anderson, thank you so much for being a patron. You are a shining light in a dark galaxy. Your positive words and personality help the crew stay strong. We’ve got a shipment of loth-cats that have escaped into headquarters, so if you could round those up before they destroy something important we’d appreciate it. Edward Byworth, thank you. We can see from your resume that you have a lot of Rebel experience and we’re glad you’re with us. Stand by for a squad to be assigned to you. see if you can get them in fighting shape quick. We’re gonna need it. Ryan Pothering, thank you for your kind support. Tink said something about a hull breech and losing air and then wandered off to take a nap. Do you mind throwing on an enviro-suit and checking the exterior of the ship? I know we’re still in hyperspace, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Finally, one more thing to say this week. This episode features one of our Build-A-Beru patron-made NPCs! Mylhiri Milur is the creation of Ashley Coyle. Thank you for your loving patronage, Ashley, and thank you for giving us Mylhiri. They turned out awesome.

Music this week is GIGA METAL by Loyalty Freak Music.

So now, let’s get into the episode.


NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 50. We did it! Hurray!


NICK: I am your hosting game master, Nick. Let’s go around the table. Everybody introduce yourselves and your character. I think there was a pretty big windfall of experience from the last arc or so, so say what you spent that experience on, starting with Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. My name is Cameron, and I play Karma Nailo, the Nautolan bounty hunter. I spent so much experience. I bought two ranks in Melee, so I now have a 4 in Melee, and then on my Assassin tree I bought Sniper Shot. Before making a non-throw ranged attack – so I cannot use Sniper Shot when I’m throwing a grenade – as a maneuver, increase the weapon’s range by up to 1 band per rank. Upgrade the attack difficulty by 1 per range increase. So, I can make my gun shoot farther. My other talent I acquired is Deadly Accuracy! When acquired, choose one combat skill. I have selected Ranged: heavy. Add damage equal to ranks in that skill to one hit of a successful attack with that skill. We did a rules consult, and that means that every single time Karma hits something with her gun she adds 4 to it.

NICK: Wow, that’s a lot.

CAMERON: [smiling] Yes.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: I spent a lot of XP points on that. [laughs]

NICK: Yeah, it’s real scary. Great. Thank you, Cameron. Up next we have Laura.

LAURA: Hello. I am Laura, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler, and there was some confusion over how many points I had. [others laugh] Without getting into it, I now have more hidden storage and Soft Spot, which means after I make a successful attack I can spend a Destiny Point to add damage equal to my Cunning to that hit. I now have 5 Hidden Encumbrance in my coat.

NICK: That’s a lot of hidden encumbrance, Laura.

HUDSON: You can fit me in there.

LAURA: I can fit Tink inside the coat!

NICK: Oh, I don’t like that thought process at all. we were talking earlier and I think that makes it so that you can hide more stuff in your coat than you can physically carry?

LAURA: Almost. My encumbrance threshold is currently 6, because the utility belt I have adds an extra, so I’m almost there. I do have to find another talent tree skill list that has Hidden Encumbrance so that I can do that.

NICK: [laughs] It’s hidden. I can’t walk, but it’s hidden.

CAMERON: [laughs] But you can’t see it.

NICK: Oh gosh. Great. Last but not least, we have Hudson!

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson, and I play Rallltinkraatakat, colloquially known as Tink. I am a Gigoran slicer. Here’s what I upgraded. I’m very excited about this, however I will go with the most boring one first. [others laugh] I got a second grade in Underworld, and then the exciting parts. I bought a fifth level, which is a full stack, on Melee, and I bought a fifth level in Computers, so I am maxed out.


NICK: You are an expert. You specialized. Good for you.

HUDSON: I am specialized in both Melee and Computers.

NICK: You know, two things that really go hand in hand, axe combat and programming.

HUDSON: I mean, literally there was that episode where I used equipment to break into computers.

NICK: Yeah. You’ve done it. You physically broke in. Wow, you’re really good at stuff, good job. Cool. Up next, we’ll do the Destiny Roll!

CAMERON: One dark side.

LAURA: One light side.

HUDSON: One dark side.


NICK: Eh, it’s balanced.

HUDSON: Is that?


HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON: I mean… two dark side, one light side?

NICK: Yeah, it’ll be fine.

CAMERON: It’s not balanced, it’s three.

NICK: Okay! So, we’re gonna go ahead, [laughs] after that, and jump right into it.

We open in the vastness of space. The crew has just finished a wild adventure and been taken for both a literal and metaphorical ride by Illith, the Chiss fashion icon. The crew has been waiting for a couple of days in space. Any attempts to contact Sentinel has been met with a single recorded hologram.

NICK (as Sentinel): I’m relocating. Stand by. You’ll hear from me soon.

NICK: The crew has been basically in a holding pattern. What have they been up to on the ship?

HUDSON: I’m really trying to learn chess, and it is just astounding how much I can’t.

NICK: Now, are you playing Earth chess or are you playing the holo chess with all the monsters and everything?

HUDSON: Earth chess.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: So everyone else is thinking “What is this strange, esoteric game you have discovered?”

HUDSON: Yeah, no, I mean like, I discovered it from reading a holo article, and I was like this sounds like a good time and I’ll look more important because I’m looking at ancient artifacts and ancient games.

CAMERON (as Karma): Who are you playing against?

HUDSON (as Tink): [exasperated] A computer.


NICK: Chessmaster4000. So, what about Xianna and Karma? How have you spent the time basically just sort of in a loop?

LAURA: Xianna is continuing on her path to friendship with Creamsicle the loth-rat that has infested their ship. I hope by now that Xianna has at least petted Creamsicle if not having Creamsicle living in her room at least part-time.

NICK: This feels like a Survival roll, doesn’t it?

LAURA: I would think it would be maybe Charm or… Streetwise.


NICK: For Animal Handling, essentially?

LAURA: For rats!

HUDSON: Can’t there just be a Friendship stat we make up?

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: Well, you know, that’s street rats, streetwise.

CAMERON: Roll for friendship.

HUDSON: Street rats~

LAURA & HUDSON: [hum a tune]

NICK: We’re gonna get sued! We’re gonna get sued!


NICK: Do you wanna flip a light side point to just be successful and now Creamsicle is your bestest best buddy?

CAMERON: [laughing] We only have one!

LAURA: Yeah, I know.

NICK: Starting early with the tough decisions.

LAURA: Fine! I will make the Survival roll. I don’t have any points in Survival, but I do have a 5 in Cunning.

NICK: Yeah, you should be fine.

HUDSON: It’s not gonna explode.

NICK: This is an average check. Well, I mean, you do constantly run the risk that Creamsicle damages something on the inside of your ship.

LAURA: Can I have a blue die because I have been feeding Creamsicle food?

NICK: You know what, you sure can, but I’m gonna flip a dark side point to upgrade the difficulty by one.

LAURA: What? Just let me have this!

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA: Two successes.

NICK: You did it! Yes, over the course of the last few days you have been leaving out bantha cakes and slowly gaining Creamsicle’s trust. Creamsicle is definitely one of those rats that just has the right kind of brain to deal with people. It turns out to be very friendly, turns out to be very food-motivated, and you even manage to teach it a few tricks. I don’t want to call Creamsicle “it” anymore. What kind of rat is Creamsicle?

LAURA: Creamsicle is a girl.

NICK: Creamsicle is a girl rat. Great.

CAMERON: Oh no, he’s writing something down. Creamsicle’s pregnant.

NICK: I mean, Creamsicle does not appear to be pregnant… right now. You don’t know about earlier. Anyway. So yeah, Creamsicle is—

LAURA: I’ve doomed us.



NICK: I’ve played KOTOR. I know how this works. You have Creamsicle, and I think Creamsicle likes to ride on your shoulder when you’re walking around the ship.


NICK: What is a trick that you have taught this loth-rat in the small amount of time that you’ve been friends?

LAURA: I have taught Creamsicle how to identify credit sticks, and Creamsicle can go into pockets and pull out credit sticks. Whether or not she can do it stealthily is a different matter, but she can do it.

NICK: Okay. I think also that you taught Creamsicle on your own coat, so occasionally when you’re walking around Creamsicle just disappears into a pocket, and you’re like aww, and then reappears with a cred-stick and drops it.

LAURA: I’ve trained her to bring it to me, so she just brings it to a different pocket.

NICK: Okay, that’s fair. It’s fine unless you need to spend money and you can’t figure out which pocket it’s in.

LAURA: It’ll be fine.

NICK: Mm-hmm. What about karma? What have you been up to?

CAMERON: Karma has been practicing a lot of her vibro-sword stances and routines. She’s improved at it greatly over the past three days and has just been running through. She did all of her typical weapons maintenance, cleaning everything up after that giant tiger thing that we fought.

NICK: Like a tiger fish monster.

CAMERON: Yeah, that thing, and then was like “hey, I haven’t used this in a while,” and just started going through sword dances and stuff.

NICK: Uh-huh, doing some kata. While they were making rat friends you were learning the blade.


NICK: Cool. Karma gets through a training montage. Another question for you all: When Illith skedaddled they left a data pad behind with some information on it. Who has that data pad?

LAURA: I would assume we gave it to Tink to try to figure something out with it.

CAMERON: Yeah, probably.

HUDSON: Yeah, I looked it over. At the time that it was given to me I was actually practicing my hacking with one hand and flipping my vibro-axe with the other and that’s how I leveled up.

NICK: Okay. [laughs]

CAMERON: [laughs]

HUDSON: So this actually is right up my alley for practicing my skills.

NICK: Nice. You set your chess pieces aside, you know, like people do when they play chess, and you take another look at that data pad. You’ve mostly cracked it open, you just haven’t had time to look through all of it. You do see that it has a simple set of coordinates programmed into it. It’s kind of buried into a directory. The coordinates are just past the galactic border into wild space. You doubt you have time to investigate it right now, but you do remember that Illith promised to pay you 101,069 Credits. Hopefully this is the location of those funds? Although, you can’t help but wonder who would bother to rob you and then pay you anyway. Then, around this time, it’s been, like I said, a few days. Karma is doing her sword forms, Xianna is just being adorable with Creamsicle, Tink is tapping away on this data pad, and you receive a holo-vid call from Sentinel. There is very little fanfare. It’s ten seconds of ringing and then the holo is pushed through anyway to where you’re standing. The doors in and out of different rooms on this ship have the little control panels with the little cameras sunk into them so they can project a little holo into whatever room. You don’t have to go to the holo-theater, it’s just a better set piece. You all look up to this short holo of Sentinel. Sentinel looks kind of sick. You think you can see some city in the background. His eyes are sunken. As he clasps both his hands in his lap you can see that they’re shaking.

NICK (as Sentinel): The timeline for the mission has been moved up. Alderaan has been destroyed.

CAMERON (as Karma): [gasps]

LAURA (as Xianna): You mean like invaded, or…? Like, how many cities were, you know, shot at or…? What?

NICK (as Sentinel): It’s gone. It’s as though a million voices cried out and then were suddenly silenced.

LAURA (as Xianna): Well like, so, they got rid of the royal family, yes? Did they take over, or…?

NICK (as Sentinel): Where the planet once was there are small, floating boulders and dissipating energy.

LAURA (as Xianna): Wait.

CAMERON (as Karma): What?

NICK (as Sentinel): It is an ex-planet.

LAURA (as Xianna): Wait, they blew the whole planet up?

CAMERON (as Karma): How did they blow up a planet?

LAURA (as Xianna): How do you even do that?

CAMERON (as Karma): Who blew up a planet?

LAURA (as Xianna): Well, I’m assuming the Empire.

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s like some kind of death… st—Um. Death…

LAURA (as Xianna): A death ray!

HUDSON (as Tink): Death ray!

LAURA (as Xianna): Yes, a death ray.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA (as Xianna): A giant device on a moon and it goes PEW and it shoots out and it blows the whole planet up.

CAMERON (as Karma): Some sort of planet killer.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yes. We’ll be able to provide more information at the mission briefing, but the Empire has created a terrible weapon. Your job is to distract from that weapon so that other people can destroy it. We’ve talked about this a little bit in the past. I’ve been very open with my information.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay. This is the distraction at the shipyard.

NICK (as Sentinel): This is the entire reason that I have employed you up to this point.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, cool.

NICK (as Sentinel): Yes. Your target are the shipyards over Fondor. They’re lightly guarded and have no capital ships in orbit. Head to the following coordinates. I have an agent that will give you the rest of the information. I’m sorry I cannot tell you more myself.

NICK: Then he hangs up the call. What do you do?

CAMERON (as Karma): Agent’s name? Come on, Sentinel!

NICK: [smiling] He’s gone.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh my gosh!

LAURA (as Xianna): He didn’t even… Ugh. Okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): It usually falls in our lap anyway.


LAURA (as Xianna): He’s giving us coordinates, right? Because I have already forgotten what planet he said. Did he say a planet?

CAMERON: I push the coordinates button on the ship.

NICK: The coordinates are not the planet of Fondor, but it is in a nearby system, it’s like an unnamed moon.

CAMERON (as Karma): The coordinates appear to be an unnamed moon in a nearby system.

HUDSON (as Tink): I learned about coordinates today! You know that data pad you gave me?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yep?

HUDSON (as Tink): There’s a directory in there that has just nothing in it but coordinates for a place way out there.

LAURA (as Xianna): What does way out there mean?

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s in wild space.


CAMERON: Oh, you cute little Inner Rim boy.

LAURA (as Xianna): I mean, I think the Chiss are from wild space, so maybe that is just where they live.

HUDSON (as Tink): It could be their house. You’re right.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, noted, we have coordinates for wild space, from Illith.

HUDSON (as Tink): From Illith. Yeah…

CAMERON (as Karma): In that data pad.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah.

CAMERON (as Karma): That Illith left when they stole the shiny thong and abandoned us. Yes?

HUDSON (as Tink): I hope we get that back one day.

LAURA (as Xianna): I’m not entirely sure what Sentinel needed the thong for, so…

HUDSON (as Tink): The song? There was no song involved.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA (as Xianna): Ugh! You know what I mean! Thong!

HUDSON (as Tink): The thong song.

CAMERON (as Karma): Sure, sure, yeah.

LAURA (as Xianna): [tentatively] She had dumps like a truck.


LAURA (as Xianna): What! Butt! I do know that song. Yes.

NICK: You get a ping on your com of Nolaa texting you. it’s completely irrelevant to what you’re talking about.

LAURA (as Xianna): Okay. I’m going to go now. Let me know when we have any idea of what we are going to do.

CAMERON: I put in the coordinates that Sentinel sent and start driving.

NICK: Yeah. The ship takes off into hyperspace. You were parked right on the edge of a hyperspace lane for easy exit in case you were discovered or you knew where the heck you were going.

HUDSON: Is it like space HOV lanes?

NICK: Yeah, it’s how the galaxy gets around.

HUDSON: Ah, okay.

NICK: Because if you don’t know what direction to shoot your hyperspace into you go through a sun and you die, so… it’s a whole thing. So! We see the ship snap out of hyperspace in a small, irrelevant system in the same region of the galaxy as Fondor. The Colonies, as they’re called, is an old region of space sitting snugly between the Core Worlds and the Inner Rim. Thank you, Wookieepedia. You have to take a long series of jumps to get there, avoiding imperial checkpoints and blockades. You quickly break atmosphere above the moon heading for the meeting coordinates. The moon in question orbits a gas giant of pale lavender. The moon itself looks like it’s entirely water, but as you sink deeper into the atmosphere you find a small spit of sand as your destination. As you pull the ship forward you land, you see a small, squat military craft pulling up off the sandbar and heading out into space. Another ship is parked in the shallows around the sand, a Z95 Headhunter, a short civilian craft that looks like an off brand X-Wing and is easily modified into a capable fighter ship, but it’s not normally used for long journeys because it doesn’t really have any passenger space. It’s like a single-seater hotrod kind of ship.

As you exit the ship, you can see a figure silhouetted by a high sun. they are tall and athletic, shading their eyes as they watch the other ship diminish into a small spot above and then vanish on its mission. How do you approach this figure?

CAMERON: I’mma go out on a limb.

CAMERON (as Karma): I think that’s our contact.

HUDSON (as Tink): I actually recognize that person. They look like a spaceketball player. You can tell by the height.

LAURA: Xianna’s not paying attention. She’s currently in the little kitchen area. She’s trying to teach Creamsicle how to identify bantha cakes. It’s not working, so she’s just been eating a lot of bantha cakes.

CAMERON (as Karma): Come on, guys. Xianna, you can bring Creamsicle.

LAURA (as Xianna): Okay!

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: Xianna runs over and is stuffing Creamsicle in a pocket. Creamsicle just seems to disappear suddenly.

HUDSON (as Tink): I smell bantha cakes.

LAURA (as Xianna): Yes, I was eating them.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh.

LAURA (as Xianna): I also have a few in my pockets.

HUDSON (as Tink): Can I have one?

LAURA (as Xianna): Hold on.

LAURA: She puts her hands in a pocket, pulls one out, and the wrapper has been chewed through a little bit.

LAURA (as Xianna): You can have this one.

HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm, feels used, but okay.

LAURA (as Xianna): Well, I don’t think the inside is eaten, just the wrapper, a little bit.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ahh, got it.

NICK (as HK): Assertion: The odds of a loth-rat having parasites that can affect a Gigoran are quite small.

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s very helpful. Thank you.

NICK (as HK): You’re welcome.

CAMERON (as Karma): Alright, come on, HK. You appear to be ready to go.

HUDSON: [laughs]

NICK (as HK): Statement: I am ready to go.

CAMERON (as Karma): Great! Awesome. Cool.

CAMERON: I push the button and the ramp drops down.

NICK: Okay. [laughs] We see you all exit the ship. The sand is pretty deep and loose. When you first get on the beach you have to walk kind of with an elongated step to make any progress, but otherwise you are able to approach. As you get closer you see that the figure is a Cathar. They are wearing casual dark clothes that have seen better days but are easily forgettable. They stand about 1.7 meters tall. They look like a fierce kind of lion creature with golden skin, and as they smile at you, you note their prevalent canines. The smile doesn’t reach their eyes. Unusually for a Cathar, they have a jet black mane that shines in the sunlight. As you approach, they turn to you.

NICK (as Cathar): Greetings. I am Mylhiri Milur. Welcome to my island. Sentinel said to expect you. … it’s not actually my island, it’s a bit of a joke.

LAURA (as Xianna): I was about to ask, because this island is, um, it is just sand, and sand is terrible.

NICK (as Mylhiri): I’ve heard that your crew has a sense of humor. I was trying to develop a rapport.

CAMERON (as Karma): I very much appreciated it.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Seeing as we’re going to be coworkers, I thought that you would appreciate a little bit more casualness than you’ve probably dealt with in the past.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh definitely. I love what you’ve done with the place.

CAMERON: Karma looks around the island.

NICK: Mylhiri looks at Tink.

NICK (as Mylhiri): See, that’s a joke that is related to the joke that I told a minute ago implying that I live on this island, because I haven’t done anything with it, because it’s just sand.

HUDSON (as Tink): So uh, Malar Malarkey… Could I call you M?

NICK (as Mylhiri): You can call me whatever you need to call me, but Mylhiri is not a difficult name especially with a translator. I don’t know why you would have a problem with that.

HUDSON (as Tink): [labored] Mylhiri…

LAURA (as Xianna): Oh, I think his translator is broken.

NICK (as Mylhiri): It does sort of sound like bus brakes.

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s an older model.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON: But it checks out.

LAURA: It really doesn’t.

HUDSON (as Tink): So could I call you M or not?

NICK (as Mylhiri): You can call me whatever you want to call me. I’m just going to take it mildly personally.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ha! Alright.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Great.

NICK: Mylhiri straightens their- They have like a leather pilot coat, and sets it, and pops their neck from side to side. You can see that they are quite strong. The Cathar are a predatory species and are… You don’t want to fistfight one, it’s not a good idea, and you get that impression.

NICK (as Mylhiri): So, would you like to get down to business or shall we continue the humorous bonding that we started with?

CAMERON (as Karma): I think if we could get down to business and mix in some humorous bonding that would be great.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Alright. I will try to mix in some humor, but as we start this briefing you’ll understand that might be a little bit difficult. I don’t know how much Sentinel was able to tell you. he’s currently running below the radar in a lot of ways, but the planet of Alderaan has been destroyed by a massive space station just revealed by the Empire. We must do anything that we can to ensure that this station is destroyed.

NICK: Mylhiri takes a second to pause gravely and look you each in the eye, including Creamsicle who has poked her little nose out of one of the pockets and then ducks back in.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The station is surrounded by an entire fleet of star destroyers to prevent any kind of sabotage.

NICK: Mylhiri activates a small hand holo-projector showing a massive orb that looks almost like a moon surrounded by at least eight star destroyers.

CAMERON (as Karma): That’s a space station?

NICK (as Mylhiri): It’s a space station.

CAMERON (as Karma): It looks like a moon.

NICK (as Mylhiri): That’s no moon.

LAURA (as Xianna): It’s not a moon. It is a planet killer.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Yes, some sort of orb-based destroying device.

HUDSON (as Tink): With that much power they might… Do you think they harness it from the sun?

LAURA (as Xianna): That would be a sun killer. This is a planet killer.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ahh.

LAURA (as Xianna): This one just kills planets, makes them go boom. I mean, I’m assuming there was a boom.

NICK (as Mylhiri): You’re thinking the star killer. That’s later.


CAMERON: We haven’t gotten to there yet.

NICK (as Mylhiri): If you took this design and then hollowed a planet out for some reason and made it way bigger… Anyway. Your target is not the space station itself. There’s no way to get onto it without being captured by a tractor beam or detected by some sort of TIE fighter escort.

LAURA (as Xianna): Well yes, you get captured on purpose and then they take you in there. We’ve done that before.

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s actually a…

LAURA (as Xianna): It’s a really good plan. We blew up a star destroyer that way.

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s a trope by now.

LAURA (as Xianna): I mean, I don’t know if I would call it a trope, it is just a proven plan that has worked for us.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Sentinel has tasked you with a different mission. We are to be the guardian protectors of the Rebellion. You must attack a different target. Make it look like the Rebels are committed to destroying the Empire’s industry so they commit star destroyers to protecting that instead.

NICK: And then a question for y’all, have you heard of the Rebellion? Do any of you know that it exists?



HUDSON: I don’t. [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): What’s the Rebel… You know what, I’ll just look it up. Never mind.

LAURA (as Xianna): The Rebellion. You know… against the Empire?

HUDSON (as Tink): I’d say I’m a rebel. I know people don’t like the Empire, but there’s like an organized force?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah…

LAURA (as Xianna): I feel like I have gone over that, but that is kind of why my mother was arrested by the Empire and then taken away by stormtroopers to never be seen again. You know, that whole thing.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, that Rebellion.

LAURA (as Xianna): Because she was working with both the Ryloth resistance and, you know, the Rebellion.

HUDSON (as Tink): That Rebellion! Okay, so I think I get it a little more now. You’re part of the Rebellion, so we’re part of the Rebellion.

LAURA (as Xianna): I thought that was understanded… I thought we knew that.

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… I was just going with the flow.

LAURA (as Xianna): Well okay then.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

NICK: Mylhiri pokes their head into frame.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The Rebels are a small but desperate group of fighters. They have the plans to this space station, and we can only hope the Force grants them the abilities to destroy it. Our job is to give them some kind of chance.

NICK: Mylhiri hits another button on the little handheld holo-projector and you see a large donut with arms sticking off of it.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The Fondor Shipyards are one of the three largest shipyards in the galaxy. They recently began working on a huge and secret Imperial project themselves and they’ll be sensitive to attack. The entire facility is closed off to civilian traffic, so you’ll need to infiltrate stealthily.

NICK: You get a little bit better look at the Fondor Shipyards, and off of the three arms you can actually see star destroyers sticking out of it. It’s like the large arms provide ways for people to work on and off of these giant skeletons of star destroyers. The dry docks are famous for their size and productivity.

NICK (as Mylhiri): This is an older hologram. We haven’t gotten close enough to do recent scouting as we don’t want to give away the approach vector that you’ll be using. The ship that left before you was the Beta Squad you helped assemble. They will be launching an attack in tandem, helping to clear the way for you and escalate the chaos once onboard. Their goal will be to attempt to destroy the station and any experimental reactors that they can find. We’ve heard that the project they’re working on is so massive it needs some sort of strange, experimental technology. Your goals will be to infiltrate the main servers of the base and delete the plans for this major project. If you can, delete the plans for this project everywhere. The Fondor station is connected to most of the network that would house these plans. That is why you have been assembled as a team.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, I mean, at least when I was in the academy the Empire doesn’t have good backup systems, honestly. I mean they’re a little bit old school with their systems.

NICK (as Mylhiri): I have no idea what that means, but that’s why we hired a slicer.

HUDSON (as Tink): Ah-ha!

CAMERON (as Karma): So, Alpha Team’s job is to get Tink to the computers, cause general mayhem. Val’s job is to blow shit up?

NICK (as Mylhiri): Yep.

CAMERON (as Karma): Cool.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The team was assembled based on your skills in infiltration…

NICK: Mylhiri nods at Xianna.

NICK (as Mylhiri): …fire support…

NICK: Mylhiri nods at Karma.

HUDSON (as Tink): And doctorness.

LAURA (as Xianna): You are not a doctor.

HUDSON (as Tink): I too am a doctor. Do you have any pains or illnesses right now?

CAMERON (as Karma): I don’t—

NICK (as Mylhiri): I’ve been a little tight in this shoulder, actually.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh! Got it. Okay.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh gosh.

NICK (as Mylhiri): I had to fight an assassin recently and took a blade.

HUDSON (as Tink): So, if you take bantha milk and let it curdle, and then you get a stim pack, slice it in the middle, anything in the stim pack that falls out, don’t be surprised by what it is, if I could tell you I would, I just read this in literature, pour that into there, mix it up with a spoon, and then just down it like a shot.

CAMERON (as Karma): Please don’t.

LAURA (as Xianna): Why not just inject the stim pack?

HUDSON (as Tink): Because this is neck pain not a bullet wound.

LAURA & CAMERON (as Xianna & Karma): [groans]

NICK: Mylhiri is staring at Tink with their jaw hanging open slightly, so you could see their teeth which are very big and liony.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Stim packs are an auto-injection system. If you cut it open springs and stuff will fall out.

HUDSON (as Tink): Anything in there. Melt it if you have to.

CAMERON (as Karma): [defeated] I promise he’s much better at computers.

LAURA (as Xianna): [wincing] He actually is.

NICK (as Mylhiri): May the Force grant that that is so.

HUDSON (as Tink): I know a Force user! That Sentinel person!


LAURA (as Xianna): Tink! You can’t just say that!

NICK (as Mylhiri): I work closely with Sentinel. I help organize…

LAURA (as Xianna): And I know that, but he does not.

HUDSON (as Tink): No, I know it.

LAURA (as Xianna): Then why would you inform this person that we know the same person.

CAMERON (as Karma): They know already.

HUDSON (as Tink): They know already.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, so why did you say it? [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, I didn’t know they knew that he used the Force.

CAMERON (as Karma): Why would you tell them that Sentinel used the Force if they didn’t know?

HUDSON (as Tink): We’re trying to make a connection here.

CAMERON (as Karma): That’s not something you just want to share.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Tink is forging a connection with me, your handler, and I personally feel like we’ve grown closer together as a group.

HUDSON (as Tink): Couldn’t have said it better myself.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay good.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Thank you for keeping the atmosphere here light and professional at the same time.

CAMERON (as Karma): Please don’t take his medical advice.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Oh, I was not planning on it.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay good.

HUDSON (as Tink): I am both a doctor and a la—I’m just a doctor.

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA (as Xianna): You’re not a doctor!

HUDSON (as Tink): We’ll discuss this later, Xianna.

LAURA (as Xianna): You don’t even have one degree let alone a doctorate.

HUDSON (as Tink): I’d say I’m 98 degrees, generally.

CAMERON (as Karma): [groans]

LAURA (as Xianna): Is that appropriate for Gigoran? I do not know.

HUDSON (as Tink): Actually—[laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Well, the Becoming Medicine book was written primarily about Humans, so…

LAURA (as Xianna): Because that would be too low for me. That would mean I was sick.

HUDSON (as Tink): I just know the normal temperature range, and I feel normal as anything.

LAURA (as Xianna): Okay… Sure.

CAMERON (as Karma): Anyway, Fondor Shipyard. You said trying to make it so they didn’t know the direction of our approach. Does that mean we have a set direction of approach?

NICK (as Mylhiri): Oh yes, you do.

NICK: Mylhiri pulls a data spike out of a hip pouch and hands it to you.

CAMERON (as Karma): Thank you.

NICK (as Mylhiri): This will give you a very specific approach that we have synchronized with the Beta Squad and will help you to get in through the patrols. It’s a complicated vector, obviously, as we’re trying to pierce Imperial security protocol which we all know is almost impossible, but with a talented pilot hopefully you can make it there.

LAURA (as Xianna): Eh.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oof. Heh…

CAMERON: Karma pulls at her collar a little bit.

NICK: [laughs]

NICK (as Mylhiri): Your goal will be, like I said, the main server rooms which should be towards the center of the station. I unfortunately was not able to provide a specific layout, but as it is an industrial complex there should be ample designations, markings, and you all are professionals of course.

HUDSON (as Tink): How rude of us. This is HK.


NICK (as Mylhiri): Yes, I was informed that you have a droid compatriot.

NICK (as HK): Statement: Compatriot is not the correct word.

HUDSON (as Tink): Lifelong friend.

NICK (as HK): Leader is the correct phrase.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh. You’re our leader… Okay.

NICK (as HK): Self-acknowledgement: HK is the one in charge.

LAURA (as Xianna): I don’t know if that’s right either.

NICK (as HK): Silence, secondary user.


LAURA (as Xianna): Ugh, fine.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Alright, that got a little weird.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, it’s better to just go with it.

HUDSON (as Tink): Don’t ask why their hands are so tiny.

LAURA (as Xianna): Stop pointing out how tiny his hands are!

HUDSON (as Tink): No-no-no! I was saying don’t point that out.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, but you brought it up!

NICK: HK makes the high whining noise of a hard drive that’s over temperature and just moves his hands behind his back.

CAMERON (as Karma): [whining] Aw, oh no… Stop~

LAURA (as Xianna): Stop it, Tink~

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright, well now M knows.

LAURA (as Xianna): Just stop talking.

NICK (as Mylhiri): I’m glad that we’re able to have bonded like this. I really feel like this is going well. I struggled a little bit with the Beta Squad. They’re a little aggressive in their approach.

CAMERON (as Karma): The two team members we know from Beta Squad, I could see how, yes.

NICK (as Mylhiri): One of them wasn’t even speaking Basic. Some strange language. I could only understand every other word. The other one kept trying to fight me.

CAMERON (as Karma): Uh-huh! Yeah, those are the two that I know.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The other two were pretty professional, quiet, and nondescript.

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay, well that’s good.

LAURA (as Xianna): That is very descriptive. Thank you.

CAMERON (as Karma): That’s weird that you have such disparate personalities within that group.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Would you say that you all are identical in your approaches and personalities?

CAMERON (as Karma): I wouldn’t say we’re all similar in that, but I feel like we have a good family dynamic going in our team.

HUDSON (as Tink): We’re trying to say we’re better than Beta Squad.

CAMERON (as Karma): I mean, I didn’t want to just say that, but…

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s what we’re saying now.

LAURA (as Xianna): I’m not entirely sure who is in Beta Squad, so I don’t know how accurate that other statement is.

CAMERON (as Karma): Val and Neato.

HUDSON (as Tink): We’ve only lost one team member. That’s more than a lot of other people can say.

LAURA (as Xianna): That is actually a pretty good run for how long we have been together, which is like… a month.

CAMERON (as Karma): And Beta Squad lost two.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah!

CAMERON (as Karma): And we are Alpha Team, and I assume we’re Alpha Team for a reason.

LAURA (as Xianna): Who died in Beta Squad?

CAMERON (as Karma): Two of the people, because we had to get them replacements, that’s why we went and got Val and Neato.

LAURA (as Xianna): Huh.

CAMERON (as Karma): I don’t know who was on the squad to begin with, but they needed two more replacements. They were gonna get HK, but then we needed HK, and then, so, we got Val and Neato for them.

LAURA (as Xianna): Huh.

NICK (as HK): Evaluative Statement: It seems appropriate to measure organic death as a score.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Actually, that seems a little morbid to me. These are our fallen comrades in our battle against the Empire.

HUDSON (as Tink): [grinning] This one time, I thought this person was alive so I dragged it across a cave, and it actually turned out to be dead.

CAMERON (as Karma): That was a rough day.

LAURA (as Xianna): We told you so many times they were dead.

CAMERON (as Karma): And HK, we discussed this, you can keep score with stormtroopers, but that’s it.

LAURA (as Xianna): I mean really you can keep score with whoever you want.

CAMERON (as Karma): The only official score that I’m counting is stormtroopers.

NICK (as HK): Acknowledgement: The score that I speak out loud will be stormtroopers.

CAMERON (as Karma): Thank you. Please don’t kill innocent civilians.

NICK (as HK): My programming prohibits me from killing innocents, but innocence is an opinion.

CAMERON (as Karma): Eh…

LAURA (as Xianna): Creamsicle is innocent by the way, Hank.

NICK (as HK): Immutable Law: Creamsicle is adorable. I will never harm Creamsicle.

LAURA (as Xianna): Thank you.

NICK (as HK): I would lay down my life for Creamsicle much more readily than secondary users.

LAURA (as Xianna): I understand.

NICK: [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s fair.

CAMERON (as Karma): HK, please make Creamsicle a primary user.


LAURA: Xianna immediately pulls out Creamsicle, holds up to Hank.

LAURA (as Xianna): Okay! Creamsicle, you are now primary user. Heh.

NICK: A little scanning bar comes out of HK’s face.

NICK (as HK): Acknowledged: Creamsicle, primary user. Administrative rights granted.

LAURA: I imagine Creamsicle just does the little nose twitch and a little (cheep).

HUDSON (as Tink): HK, here’s the last question. This has been bothering me for a while. You say that you can’t kill innocents, however, if you were on a trolley—


LAURA (as Xianna): We are not doing this again, Tink! You wanted to do this all day yesterday, and I missed my holo-dramas because of it!

HUDSON (as Tink): It’s a hard problem!

LAURA (as Xianna): But now I don’t know who died on The Sands of Tatooine.

CAMERON (as Karma): You know they’re not gonna be permanently dead, though.

LAURA (as Xianna): Yes, I know, but it’s going to be important for the plot and I want to know that it’s dramatic when they come back later, because if I don’t know that they were supposed to be dead then it doesn’t matter that they showed up in a big cape at somebody else’s birthday party.

CAMERON (as Karma): It’s true. Anyway, I’m sorry, Mylhiri. Do you watch The Sands of Tatooine?

NICK (as Mylhiri): No, I’ve been busy starting small Rebellion cells on different planets, trying to improve the quality of life in the galaxy and destroy fascism.

CAMERON (as Karma): You know, that does sound better.

LAURA (as Xianna): You can do both.

NICK (as Mylhiri): I don’t know what to tell you.

NICK: [laughs] Mylhiri looks uncomfortable at this point.

CAMERON (as Karma): Do you have any more information to give us? I’m sorry we went on that tangent.

NICK (as Mylhiri): Unfortunately, besides the general instruction, we’ve had to leave the rest to you, because we don’t know as much as we would like to going in.

CAMERON (as Karma): Will we be able to be in contact with Beta Squad?

NICK (as Mylhiri): Yes. There is a parallel com channel that will activate once the assault begins.

CAMERON (as Karma): Fantastic.

NICK (as Mylhiri): We can’t do it before, because it would tip them off as you’re trying to infiltrate.

CAMERON (as Karma): Mm-hmm.

NICK (as Mylhiri): The last thing… While I know your default approach is to start as stealthily as possible, due to the nature of this infiltration we must request that you go in loud at the beginning so that Beta Squad is not immediately overwhelmed during their approach.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

LAURA (as Xianna): We can do that.

CAMERON (as Karma): I think we can be loud.

LAURA (as Xianna): I think our ship has a button that sets off fireworks.

CAMERON (as Karma): And it sings ‘It’s My Birthday.’ We found that button on accident.

NICK: [laughs and groans]

LAURA (as Xianna): There’s also a few other buttons that do other songs.

CAMERON (as Karma): This is a weird party yacht.

LAURA (as Xianna): But the birthday one is the best song. The ‘It Is My Anniversary’ song is a little weird.

CAMERON (as Karma): They are all coordinated with the disco and the lights though, so it’s all pretty good.

LAURA (as Xianna): Yes.

HUDSON (as Tink): I found an Easter egg in the ship. They actually, during the holidays, have the ‘You Can’t Spell Christmas Without Us’ song. Classic.

LAURA (as Xianna): What is Easter?

HUDSON (as Tink): Easter is eggs, eggs, eggs, baby, baby, baby.

NICK (as Mylhiri): What is Christmas?

HUDSON (as Tink): ‘You Can’t Spell Christmas Without Us.’

LAURA & CAMERON (as Xianna & Karma): But what is Christmas?

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh! I’ve been reading a lot on old school Earth, and…

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA (as Xianna): What is Earth?

NICK (as Mylhiri): … Oh no.


HUDSON: And cut!

NICK: That’s a good place to end that. Oh god.

CAMERON: Explains the chess.

LAURA (as Xianna): I don’t think Creamsicle lays eggs.

CAMERON (as Karma): Why are you hiding eggs on the ship? That’s gonna be gross?

LAURA (as Xianna): Are they raw eggs or like hard boiled eggs or…? Are you just hiding like fried eggs in the place? Am I going to open up my wardrobe and get out a shirt and a fried egg is just going to slide out?

NICK: You all are having this conversation as you walk back onto the ship. We see the entry ramp close and the Afternoon Delight starts to take off. Mylhiri shakes their head slowly and waves to the ship as you all take off. They snap a sharp salute towards the ship as you head into the atmosphere. Down below, they say quietly to themself:

NICK (as Mylhiri): May the Force be with you.

NICK: So, the next thing we see is the Afternoon Delight appearing at the coordinates that Mylhiri gave you. I’m gonna need a Piloting check from you all as you dodge this blockade trying to get close to the Fondor Shipyards.

CAMERON: [squirms] Fabulous.

NICK: You can co-pilot if someone wants to try and do that.

HUDSON: I’ll co-pilot.


HUDSON: No I won’t.

LAURA: What’s your Agility?

CAMERON: What? Yeah.


CAMERON: Yeah, let Xianna co-pilot.

LAURA: I don’t think I have any in Piloting, but…

HUDSON: So I don’t have to roll?

NICK: No. Also, you should bear in mind that you have that night shade coating. That should give you a blue die to this, because it’s essentially a Stealth check with a ship.

CAMERON: Ooh! Where’s my ship sheet? Okay, so the night shadow coating reduces the range band of…

NICK: Sensors?

CAMERON: …enemy passive sensors.

NICK: Yeah, so we’ll count that as a blue die then, or let’s do two blue dice since you spent a whole mission getting that.

CAMERON: Ooh. What is the difficulty of this Piloting check?

NICK: It’s gonna be hard.

LAURA: Am I doing my own separate roll?

NICK: Yeah, you do a co-piloting check, and then I think co-piloting works that you get to add successes to the Piloting check afterwards.

LAURA: Well that’s how we’ll do it.


LAURA: Well okay… [shakily] I’ll let Cameron go first.

CAMERON: [laughs] Okay.

NICK: Why, what happened?

LAURA: It’s okay!

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: It’s okay! Heh.

CAMERON: Karma got four successes and four advantages.

LAURA: I got three successes, three threats.

NICK: Great. We get this shot of you all in the cockpit. Laura, would Xianna put her goggles down just to look cooler while helping to pilot through this?

LAURA: Absolutely. They wouldn’t even be turned on. They would be turned off so that nothing’s working on them, just cooler.

NICK: You see the ship comes out of hyperspace, and ahead of you you can see just clouds of TIE fighters and TIE bombers and TIE elites going back and forth in patrol patterns. You can see these ion cannons stuck to small asteroids that are also scanning and patrolling. We see Xianna take her scanner goggles and slide them down over her eyes and just have a wicked grin on her face. Karma smiles confidently, and the ship seems to disappear into the shadows between these rocks and coast in towards the Fondor Shipyards. You’re very, very successful. We get a moment of the ship inverted and up under an asteroid as TIE bombers fly slowly overhead. Everyone holds their breath. As you release and you make the last run towards the station the ship shutters a little as you clip one of these asteroids and Xianna flies out of her chair and falls prone.

[dramatic bass noise]



[action music starts]

NICK: Xianna scrambles up quickly to grab the back of Karma’s chair as Karma glides the ship with engine’s cut silently into a small access airlock that was designated in the coordinates given to you by Mylhiri. The ship clamps into place and locks down, and all of the lights turn off on the ship and then turn on red which you’ve not seen the ship do before, but it’s very much like an assault craft, and blinking above the door we see a countdown and you hear a voice say throughout the ship. “Assault infiltration in 30 seconds.”

CAMERON (as Karma): What?

LAURA (as Xianna): Wait, what?!

HUDSON (as Tink): Is this our ship?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah! What is happening?!

NICK: You see HK hoist their large rifle on their back.

NICK (as HK): Adulation: That’s what I’m talking about.

NICK: The gun starts to spin up, and that’s gonna be the end of the episode!

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you’ve enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and will make the squad giggle like school children when we read them. If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including some of my favorites: Bantha Buddy, Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, and Build-A-Beru which all have fabulous rewards and super great names.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad, and join our Discord and share all of your food and cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find the link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.

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