Transcript: Jedi Adventures Part 2: Throwing Their Weight Around

(post has been backdated for chronological clarity. post date: 8/28/2020)

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Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Jedi Adventures #2:
Throwing Their Weight Around

Transcript by Harrison (Twitter: @unabletowhistle)

## Intro

[Cameron hums space music]

NICK: Hello everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. We’re doing something a little different the next few episodes as our crew departs on Roulette Dawn, we flash back to simpler time when the Empire was a republic and the Jedi maintained peace throughout the galaxy. Come along with us on this Jedi buddy cop adventure!

Our intro music is Tanza Depanza 77 by Juan James Juan.

Before we get started, I want to thank everyone again for the iTunes reviews. People are really starting to find the show and that’s extremely exciting. Please tell people you know about us.

For now, our secret art has been released. You can find it on or our Twitter or our Facebook or our Instagram. We’ve put it everywhere.  Get out there and see for yourself. It’s some good stuff.

Anyway, onto the next part of our Jedi Adventure. We hope you enjoy the episode.


NICK: Hello, and welcome to Episode 2 of our buddy-cop Jedi shenanigans. I’m your host, Nick. Glad to see that you’re back for more.

Before we introduce everybody, just going to start off with an apology for the massive lawn-mowing going on outside. We just finished the last episode and like three different lawn crews showed up so I’m going to filter that the best I can, but be ready for a little bit of low drone. So yeah, apologies in advance for that and hopefully I’ll get most of it filtered out and you won’t even notice it.

And going around the table real quick for our two players today, to my right, we’ve got Laura.

LAURA: It sounded like you were unsure which one was your right and which one was your left. As Nick said, I am Laura. Today, I will be playing Darcevy. She is a Selonian and a Jedi. Yes.

NICK: And to my left, we have Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi Nick.


HUDSON: My name is Hudson.

NICK: Hi Hudson.

HUDSON:  I’m playing Vross. He’s the best Devaronian Jedi there’s ever been or ever will be.

NICK: That’s a bold statement. We’ll see how that works out for him, Cotton.

So like I said, we’re recording these all in one go. This is a one-shot. Just broken it up into episodes for ease of release and your listening pleasure. So we will not be doing the destiny roll. We’re keeping the same score as last time which is currently standing at two dark side and two light side.

So when we last left off, our heroes had made it to Glee Anselm, the Nautolan home planet. They had landed on the capital city turtle of Pieralos. And they had managed to find the head of the diplomatic security force, whose name is Soy Latte.

LAURA: Soy latte.

NICK: Whose name is Soana Lette. And asked her some questions. Found some good solid information and leads. And we left off with them seeing the holofeed of the senator’s daughter and she looked up at the camera and the feed cut out. And when the feed resumed there was no person. So that’s where we’re going to pick up.

So the camera opens on you all walking through the sunny, crowded street of Pieralos. Like I said last episode, there is a greater amount of people out in the open than you would expect. They’re all very touristy, taking pictures of the buildings being out in the open-air. Because you now know this city is entirely underwater all the time so the population is taking advantage of a different site and probably a lot of these people came from a different cities to tour and to visit.

So you found out that she is missing. You’re not exactly sure why. Now would be a good time to figure out what you’re going to do.

LAURA: I think the plan is to go visit the hotel Quitall is staying first. Are there any shops that we see along the way that are more geared toward off-worlders? Or anywhere that might sell rebreathers? Or would we have had rebreathers on our ship?

NICK: So I would say that in your little goodie bag you probably have rebreathers.


NICK: Because in Episode 1 have those and there’s no reason for them to have think they were going to need them because you’ll remember they were going to have a diplomatic talk. So you probably have rebreathers. Those are the little Tootsie Roll-shaped things you put in your mouth and they let you breathe underwater because Star Wars. So yeah, you have a couple of those.

LAURA: OK, if we didn’t have them on us, Darcevy would definitely make sure to go get those. And then while making sure we have them, would talk to Vross, “Do you need to buy—I think they mentioned weights? So that you may stay on the ground.”

HUDSON: “That sounds like a good idea. Let’s hit up a store.”

LAURA: Yeah, are there any stores that might sell ankle weights?

NICK: Yeah, it’d be the equivalent of a sporting goods store. Most of the shops are using different… They’re doing like seasonal stuff, because this doesn’t happen often. It’s the equivalent of getting eclipse glasses or whatever. They’re cheap. They’re only designed for this one time thing because this only happens every hundred years. But they have sunhats and sunglasses and things but you go into a shop and you’re able to secure some like ankle weights and some shoes with little sticky bottoms that would make it so you could walk underwater.

LAURA: I have claws. Ha!

NICK: So yeah, you’re fine.

LAURA: So yeah, I’m good with just the rebreather, but yeah, Vross would probably need sticky shoes and stuff.

NICK: Yeah. That being said, you probably won’t need that gear, or you would hope you wouldn’t because the diplomatic corps is leaving in two days once the Breaching ends and if you can’t return the senator’s daughter, they’re not going to be able to hide that this happened and it could potentially result in full-blown war. Or at least a diplomatic incidence.

LAURA: Cev is aware of that but she doesn’t like the idea of not being prepared. She would’ve been a Girl Scout if not a Jedi.

NICK: What are Jedi if not Girl Scouts with laser swords?

LAURA: Just militarized Girl Scouts.

HUDSON: And Boy Scouts?

NICK: You can be a Girl Scout and be a boy.

LAURA: I guess the Boy Scouts the motto is also “Always Be Prepared,” right?

HUDSON: I was not a Boy Scout.

LAURA: You were a Boy Scout for like half a day.

HUDSON: I didn’t like the outdoors.

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: I was a Girl Scout for like 8 years so I probably should’ve known that.

NICK: Cool. So y’all are headed to the Terrapin Inn? The Terrapin Inn is a lot closer to where your ship originally landed. You’ll remember that the bellhop said that area was called the landing bay. As you are walking back, you’re up on a ridge on the turtle’s back that carries Pieralos. It’s actually more of an open-square that normally you would assume people swim through. There’s a lot of doors further up the buildings that circle up that area because people would be able to swim in and out of different parts of the building. But that this big open space with no water has been sort of used as a temporary parking space for ships. The ship you came in on left pretty much as soon as you unloaded because it’s a space bus, but you do see a small low structure that has a sign in Arabesh on it that does say the Terrapin Inn. It kind of looks like a giant brain coral.

LAURA: Interesting. We walk inside. I’m assuming it’s a standard hotel layout and approach the front desk and I ask, “Excuse me. I need to know when–” Was he a senator or a diplomat? What was Quitall Nol?

NICK: So he was the son of the diplomatic excursion.

LAURA: The son of the diplomatic excursion.

NICK: Yes. So he wasn’t super important in and of himself except that he’s the member of an important family.

LAURA: “I need to know when the Anselmi diplomats left.”

NICK: So the attendant for the hotel is a Mon Calamari—so that’s kind of a koi fish-looking person with kind of a bulbous head. They’re a lovely brownish color with salmon speckles.

LAURA: It’s Admiral Ackbar.

NICK: Yeah, so he sucks in his bulbous eyes with a slurping noise and he looks at you. And you can see him fanning himself because he’s not used to being out of water this long. He says, “Um, I’m not really at liberty to divulge that information. We’re supposed to prevent security breaches with our customer service. Yeah. No.”

LAURA: I want to—can I do a Coercion roll? And hand wave. I don’t think I have the actual hand wave Force power but that’s my in-game explanation for what I’m doing is it’ll just be Coercion but I’ll wave my hand and just be like, “You will tell me.”


LAURA: What will be the difficulty?

NICK: Average. He’s not a particularly willful creatures. So far this adventure has just been the ‘abuse the hotel staff’ the game.

LAURA: Well, that would be a triumph with a success and two additional successes and a threat.

NICK: Alright, so you’re pretty good at that. Describe how you Mind Trick this guy and if you have any ways you want to use that triumph, let me know.

LAURA: I look down at him, do the very standard hand wave, while saying, “You will tell me when the Anselmi diplomats left.”

NICK: “I will tell you when the Anselmi diplomats left. They left two days ago.”

LAURA: “Was there anything unusual about their checkout?”

NICK: “Um, they had a surprising amount of luggage and it looked almost like military gear because you know, they wouldn’t have brought military gear to a diplomatic mission. I think they just wanted to make sure their clothes stayed dry. You know, they’re particularly nice to the Nautolans.”

LAURA: “Were there any cases that were exceptionally larger than the others? Say, more than four feet in length and height?”

NICK: “Oh yeah. They had a couple of really big footlockers. In fact, it took more than a couple of people to carrying them and you probably could’ve fit a person in there. They were real big. I assumed they kept all their luggage unfolded because they all had really nice clothes.”

HUDSON: “Funny you say that a person could fit in there.” And that’s all I say.

LAURA: “No, it’s actually not funny.”

HUDSON: “Just go with me here. Alright, so where were they going?”

LAURA: “I am here.”

NICK: [laughs]

HUDSON: “So where were they headed to?”

NICK: “They were headed back to Anselm, the capital city of the Anselmi. It’s about an eight-hour boat ride from here.”

LAURA: “Was this an early checkout or did they checkout on time?”

NICK: “Well, since they’re diplomats, we extended them a pretty good amount of flexibility. They didn’t checkout like super early. It was their time to go. They don’t want to be here once the Breaching ends because they don’t breathe underwater.”

LAURA: “Yes. Has their room already been cleaned through? I’m assuming since it’s been two days.”

NICK: “Yeah, we sold the room again almost immediately.”

LAURA: “Were you aware of any unusual things found in the room or who would’ve—I’m assuming a droid would’ve cleaned. Do they have reports?”

NICK: “Well, the droids usually sweep through the rooms and just throw everything away but they’re individual compartments per room and I don’t think we’ve dumped that room yet. If you want to dig through the trash, be my guest.”

LAURA: “Vross.”

HUDSON: “Why do I have to do it?”

LAURA: “You’re better at finding things than I am.” Isn’t your thing seeker?

HUDSON: I am a seeker. I mean…

LAURA: You’re a Hufflepuff.

HUDSON: “Ugh. I suppose I do have some training in finding things that other people may not find so I’ll dig through the trash.” I walk over to the trash.

NICK: OK, so the Mon Cal attendant kind of laps into a stupor as though getting all this information pulled out of him was pretty exhausting, but you see a cleaning droid rolling by through the lobby and into a backroom. And you follow it and you see that there are big—they’re probably like two-meter by two-meter cubes and in them is a bunch of dust, paper trash, and tissues and a bunch of things in each one and there are little screens on each of the cubes. And you’re able to kind of flip through and find the finest room. It’s called the Presidential Suite and you figure that’s probably where they were staying. So yeah, you can roll me a Perception to dig through all of that if you would like.

HUDSON: I would like.

NICK: This one is gonna be hard.

LAURA: You could Force move some of the trash.

HUDSON: Would that help?


NICK: It’d just make a big dust cloud. It’d look pretty cool.

HUDSON: OK. So it looks like I have one, two, three, four, minus three. One success and no advantages.

LAURA: Ooh, right here.

HUDSON: So I have a success. I find something?

NICK: Yeah, so you spend with just one success probably about 45 minutes digging through. You get very dusty. It’s very gross. You come up several times with like weird, like, cellophane trash stuck to your horns that you have to pull off.

HUDSON: “Ugh!”

NICK: Yeah, it’s gross. But you do find a note that’s written in a very feminine hand that says, “Meet me this evening. We need to talk,” on it. It’s signed with a little heart. You find that.

HUDSON: “Hmm.”

LAURA: While he’s digging through the trash, I would ask the attendant if anyone in the group looked nervous or suspicious in any way upon leaving.

NICK: “Um… not that I noticed. I wasn’t the only one here. But everybody just seemed eager to go. I know that teenager that was with the diplomat, he did start a couple of fights. Got brought back by the peacekeepers a couple of time, but when he was leaving, he was in a pretty good mood.”

LAURA: “Thank you.”

NICK: “Of course.”

LAURA: “Vross, what did you find?”

HUDSON: “Well, I don’t know if this could be anything or not, but I found this love-note asking someone to meet them tonight. Heart. I mean the drawing was of a heart. It didn’t say the word ‘heart.’”

LAURA: “I figured. And that does seem like it may actually be something.”

HUDSON: Do I see anything else in the trash can that I dig through?”

NICK: Not really. It’s pretty cleared out. You do find some papers that are shredded and some stuff that shows that that was the right trash. It was the diplomatic corp.

HUDSON: “So the next question is if I was in young love, where would I meet my young lover?”

LAURA: “Well, I don’t know if we need to know where they met. Just that they met and are probably back in Anselm, where the diplomats went.”

HUDSON: “Good point. I’m sure they’ve met by now.”

LAURA: “It was two days ago. I’m confident they’ve already left.”

HUDSON: “Alright. Looks like we’ve run out of clues. Now where do we go?”


LAURA: “To Anselm.”

HUDSON: “Right. To Anselm! We’re going there.”

LAURA: Would we go back to the ship or would we charter a boat?

NICK: So your ship is gone because it was a space bus.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

NICK: So you’re going to need to charter a boat most likely.

LAURA: Charter a boat.

NICK: The good news is that the Terrapin Inn is very close to the edge of the city, the edge of the shell, and you saw a dock with some leisure boats tied up. You figure you can probably get a deal and get a trip south if you need to.

LAURA: We’re going to go down and go through and I guess find the boat that leaves soonest. Because I’m assuming we have credits from the Temple and that doesn’t really matter.

NICK: You have a decent amount of pocket change that we don’t have to do the math.

LAURA: Cool.

NICK: So you go down to the dock. You see a brawny Nautolan male basically wearing board shorts and flip-flops and that’s it. And he’s sunning himself on what looks like a cigarette boat but the back end is all tentacles and he’s there. You approach him and he says, “Hey! What can I do for you?”

LAURA: “We need to charter passage to Anselm.”

NICK: “Oh, that’s a pretty dangerous trip. You know if you get to close to there, that’s a pretty good way to get blown up.”

HUDSON: “I don’t know if you’ve seen us, but we’re Jedi so we pretty much go right into what you would call ‘danger,’ what I would call ‘Snoreville’ most days.”

NICK: “Oh, well, far be it for me to tell Jedi what to do. I will, of course, if you’re from the capital, you’ve probably got all sorts of coin. I’ll have to charge you a lot for, you know, danger and things. But I can get you to where you need to go. This boat’s the fastest one here.” And he looks pretty proud of himself.

LAURA: “Yes, that will do.”

NICK: “Alright, I hope you packed a snack. It’s going to be a long ride. If not, I’d be happy to sell you some sandwiches.”

HUDSON: “Took some Bantha Cakes from the hotel.”

NICK: [chuckles]

LAURA: “Did you take them or did you pay for them?”

HUDSON: “I paid for them.”

LAURA: “Good. What kind of sandwiches?”

NICK: The sandwiches—the camera pans away and he’s describing, it’s mostly clams and shrimp sandwiches. They’re like seafood salad sandwiches.”

LAURA: Nice. Darcevy is quite happy with this.

NICK: So we cut again to the boat. It is doing the classic speedboat overhead shot of it bouncing overhead along the waves. The speedboat, like I said, looks like a really long cigarette boat. Something that on Earth would be used to sneak around the coast guard, but standing off the back, it looks kind of like the Bongo, that little water ship they have that has like that spinning tail drive on it.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

NICK: But it’s basically like a cluster of tentacles that spins and crashes through the water. The boat has a lot of handholds and things. It looks like it could go under the water fairly well, but the pilot is keeping you up on the surface just out of respect for you non-waterbreather types so it’s more comfortable.

So the ship is very fast. You are able to eat your snacks. It is like an eight our ride. And in the back of your heads, you know just getting back before the end of the Breach is going to be pretty close. But this is probably the fastest way to get there, so your hands are kind of tied there.

So you ride. It gets to be pretty late in the evening at this point. So the pilot stops about 400 meters away from the island that you begin to see. It looks just kind of like a pitiful spit of sand. You see some like shacks just scattered around it, but otherwise it’s like extremely clear, no cover, pretty crappy, but it is the first land you’ve seen since you’ve got here.

And he says, “I can’t get any closer than this.” And you guys want to make me some Perception checks.

LAURA: Cool.

HUDSON: Yes, I would like to. What difficulty?

NICK: Average.

HUDSON: That is four successes and two disadvantages.


LAURA: Nope.

NICK: Lots of failures.

LAURA: Just nope.

NICK: A failure and a threat.

LAURA: I’m not very perceptive.

NICK: Yeah, so you don’t even bother to look, but Vross, you jump to the nose of the boat and take up a sea captain’s pose with your hand shading your eyes against the sunset.

HUDSON: That’s no less than the fourth time I’ve done that this trip.

NICK: And you can actually see very clearly that buried in the sand, there are some bumps. And you can see what looks like turbo laser batteries sticking out. It’s pretty hidden but this is a very fortified spit of sand, so that’s probably why the guy refuses to get any closer.

He says, “I can’t get you any closer than this without getting shot at and you know, your money’s good but it’s not that good, so you’re going to have to swim from here.”

LAURA: “Understood.”

HUDSON: “I believe you.”

NICK: “Great. Well, good luck, I guess. Get out of my boat.”

LAURA: Darcevy jumps in. She doesn’t even really put the rebreather on since she’s going to swim on the surface so she can just otter, just kind of like undulate in and out of the water.

NICK: Vross, do you jump in?

HUDSON: I jump in and start swimming.

NICK: Alright, I’m going to need an Athletics check from you to see if you can swim 400 meters.

HUDSON:  Oh no… What’s the difficulty?

NICK: Average. But I’m going to flip a Dark Side point and make it a purple and a red difficulty.

HUDSON: A success.

NICK: And that’s it.


NICK: Just a success. OK, so you’re able to swim pretty easily. You’re a strong, fast, capable Jedi. Swimming 400 meters is not a big deal to you.

HUDSON: I mean, best in my school, I mean, academy.

LAURA: Except I most certainly am ahead and like have to kind of like float on my back a little bit for you to catch up and then start up again.

HUDSON: “I’m saving strength for the mission. That’s like Lesson #1 of the academy.”

LAURA: “No, it’s not, but okay.”

NICK: Right, so we get an aerial shot of Vross swimming well and Darcevy swimming circles around him as you head to shore. It probably takes you 10, 15 minutes to swim that far. It’s not a short swim and as you get closer,  you do see those are definitely gun placements. Even Darcevy sees, this is a heavily fortified stretch of beach. You see one person standing on the shore and it’s got its arms cross and it’s basically watching you swim up.

LAURA: When we get to shore, Darcevy waves at the person. “Hello, we are Jedi from the Jedi temple. Here to ask you a few questions.”

NICK: “Jedi?” He steps back. You can see he’s an Anselmi. He has kind of soft plates all over his skin. It kind of looks he’s covered in turtle shell and he has sunken back eyes and kind of a beaky face. But he’s also wearing like a military uniform. It’s a solid red jumpsuit with a bandolier across and he’s got a blaster tucked into the bandoleer. He says, “We have not had Jedi here at Anselm in many decades.”

HUDSON: “Well, I’m sure we’ll get a warm welcome then.”

NICK: “Yes, we respect you for your combat prowess. May I inquire as to the reason for your visit?”

LAURA: “A diplomat has recently gone missing and we believe your diplomat might have information that would make it easier to find the missing diplomat.”

NICK: “You, of course, would never imply that my noble people would kidnap anybody.”

HUDSON: “No, no, no, they’re too noble for that.”

NICK: “Yes, exactly. That is my point. I can tell that me and you are going to get along wonderfully, horned, red person.”

HUDSON: “Did you go to an academy? Do I know you?”

NICK: “I did go to the Anselm Military Academy? Is that where you went?”

HUDSON: “No, I went to a different one, but we have a connection here.”

LAURA: “You went to the Jedi Academy. Do you not understand?”

HUDSON: “No, I understand. He didn’t ask me what academy I went to. I just said it wasn’t his.”

LAURA: “Why would you assume he went to the Jedi Academy?”

HUDSON: “Some Jedi go in—it doesn’t matter.”

NICK: So as you’re having this quiet conversation, the Anselmi head is whipping back and forth, just listening. He looks kind of confused and he says, “If you would follow me to the interior, I can show you the way. The one request we would have is this is a military outpost, so please do not go anywhere unescorted by me or another officer.” And he turns and heads further onto the beach.

LAURA: I follow.

HUDSON: “You got it, chief.” I follow.

NICK: Yeah, OK, so as you get closer, these huts which from a distance look like beach huts made out of thatch and palm fronds are actually durasteel and that they’re actually angled in a way that they would be able to repel blaster fire from a distance. And your escort opens one of these with a very long keypad entry. It’s like at least 10 digits. And it slides open and there’s a lift going down and he steps down and gestures for you to follow.

HUDSON: We follow.


NICK: “It has been quite a long time since outsiders saw Anselm. Please follow our rules and we should have no problem.” And he puts his hand on a scanner and it scans his hand and you begin to descend very quickly.

HUDSON: “Can you explain these rules to us? I do not recall.”

NICK: “The main one being don’t go anywhere without an escort please.”

HUDSON: “You got it.”

NICK: “Also please don’t report on our military structure.”

HUDSON: “Great. Could care less.”

NICK: “Good Well, you should. We have a long and storied history.”

HUDSON: “We don’t need to hear about that right now.”

NICK: “OK.” [laughter]

We get a side swipe. You all are coming out of a lift. You’re coming out of an underground bunker. It’s well lit, but it’s all dark metal. There are Anselmi troop formation jogging around. You can see kind of a war room with—it’s those stupid screens from Hoth where they’re like the clear plastic screens with all the random lines and triangles on them for no reason.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

NICK: And there are some Anselmi leaning over those pointing at different things.

Past that, you can see a low window and a motor pool with what look like military submarines and then there’s a hallway leading down to the right. And your guide says, “You were hoping to speak to the diplomatic contingent, correct?”

LAURA: “More specifically, Quitall Nol.”

NICK: “Oh, uh, I know of Nautol Nol. That’s the head of the diplomatic contingent, but I don’t know a Quitall Nol. Nautol Nol recently returned from Pieralos.”

LAURA: “Quitall, I believe, is his son.”

NICK: “Yes, that does make sense. We don’t really deal with the diplomats much. We’re not big fans of the diplomats section. A waste of resources. But I can bring you there.” And he heads down the hall.

You pass several different areas. It’s basically one small central hallway that leads off into areas that are clearly zoned for different things so you go past the hangar which you already saw with the war room.

There’s a barracks that just looks like rows and rows of bunk beds and you can see that the lights seem to click on and off in hundred bunk blocks.

And you see what looks like may be an archive. It’s a bunch of holobanks all set up and there’s some people in military uniforms but they’re cut kind of like robes and it’s more researchy looking there.

And you pass a mess hall which is basically just a giant vat of looks like boiled fish and there’s one lunch person just handing boiled fish to one long line of people one after another.

And after the mess hall you do pass a training arena with doing hand-to-hand fighty stuff and they look slow, surprisingly slow. For an elite military force, they look average at best at hand-to-hand stuff.

LAURA: I mean, they are turtley.

NICK: Yeah. So they’re like trying hard. You can tell they have a well-regimented doctrine and everyone is trained, but physically, they’re just not up-to-snuff compared to a lot of what you’ve seen because you’ve been to several planets and seen different fighters and this is not particularly impressive.

LAURA:  Darcevy is not saying anything because she has been told she is blunt and too honest and so she often during these things is just don’t say anything, don’t talk, be quiet, because in her head, she’s just like, “They are slow and weak-looking. They should not be doing this.”

NICK: Does Vross say anything?

HUDSON: Did you say that out loud?

LAURA: No, no, no.

NICK: It’s her in head.

LAURA: That’s like in my head and purposely not saying anything because again, she has been told she is sometimes too blunt.

HUDSON: “You got a sharp-looking army here. Looks like they’re coordinated.”

NICK: “Yes, thank you. We have trained for generations to take down the Nautolan invaders. They glut on the population of our beautiful planet and someday we shall take back the watery homeland that is our due. Even if we can’t breathe underwater.”

HUDSON: “Alright, well, good luck with that.”

LAURA: “I mean, what do you plan on doing with it? It seems like you’re both using the space in an advantageous method. You have land and they have the water since you can’t breathe under the water and they don’t seem to like being on the land.”

NICK: “This is deeply offensive to my people. There is very little land on this planet. It is unfair that we are cooped here. We deserve to grow and flourish.”

HUDSON: “I think what she was trying to say was, that there needs to be better parity between the two locations meaning you guys would get it.”

LAURA: “No.”

NICK: “I like you a lot.”

LAURA: “That is not what I mean. I mean, if you cannot breathe under the water, what do you plan on doing with the water?”

HUDSON: “How close are we?”

NICK: “We’re very close.”

NICK: “Great!”

LAURA: I’m assuming this conversation takes place while we’re walking through the described location.

HUDSON: Yeah, exactly.

NICK: Yeah. He says, “We plan to develop technology to live underwater and use the space, but the Nautolan hordes push us back whenever we try to develop it. Also you, the red one with horns, as an honor for visiting us.” And he hands you like a big silver coin with an Anselmi face carved into it and he palms it and gives you the coin.

HUDSON: “Ah, yes, thank you. I will cherish this token.”

NICK: “Yes, as you should. It is a great honor. Oh! Look! We’re here.”

And he leads you—he pulls a plush curtain back and leads you into a room that looks like it was decorated by a different kind of person. There are a lot of cushions and leather couches. It looks very officey. And there are some desks and you see some Anselmi around. They’re all not in military uniforms. They’re wearing just formal robes and things and they’re writing. And you can see towards the back, there are some living spaces like the people who work here mostly just stay in this area. They don’t go to the barracks or anything like that.

And your escort plants himself by the door and just kind of says nothing. You would say he pushed his lips together tightly, but he has a beak so it’s hard to tell, but he just kind of gestures quietly toward the big room.

LAURA: “Yes, thank you.”

HUDSON: I walk in.

NICK: Great, so you walk into this big room. There are some people sitting around desks that appear to be working and toward the back there are some living quarters. Everything’s kind of partitioned off with curtains. You can see some of the curtains are pulled back just a little. They’re like big cubicles filled with apartment stuff in them and you can see people living back there.

LAURA: I go up to whoever looks most in-charge.


LAURA: And say, “Hello. We are looking for the diplomat Quitall Nol.”

NICK: “Uh… Quitall Nol.”

LAURA: “Son of Nautol Nol.”

NICK: “Yeah… uh… we—how did you get here? Look, we’re diplomats but we’re not used to people being on our home turf. This is very weird.”

LAURA: “We took a boat. And then swam.”

HUDSON: “We’re honored to be visiting your beautiful planet and we have some important business we were sent here for by the Jedi Council and we think Quitall could be a big help.”

NICK: “Uh…” You can see him kind of relax after your speech. “Yes, our beautific homeland is often a sight that surprises outsiders. If you head down the hallway to the very back, I believe he’s in the recreation area.”

LAURA: “Thank you.”

NICK: Yeah, so you start to head to the back and you hear someone clear their throat behind you and your escort who is by the door is looking at the diplomat and looking at you and looking at the diplomat and the diplomat says, “They’re within the diplomatic confines now. They do not need an escort.”

And your escort shakes his head frustratedly but doesn’t enter the room at all.

And so you’re able to walk toward the back. Like I said, once you clear the curtains, there’s a bunch of—they’re like large, bedroom-sized cubicles with comfortable-looking beds and there are couples and some children you see just hanging out there. They all look more relaxed and a little less focused than the people you saw out in the military area. There’s also way less of them. This was a very huge facility and this diplomatic section seems like a small portion of the population.

And you head toward the back and there’s a big steel blast door and as you walk close, it seems to be on a motion sensor and it swings open and you see like a big open room and towards the back wall, there is a younger looking Anselmi doing target practice, shooting at a target with a blaster pistol. And as soon as the door swings open, he like stops with the pistol and hides it behind the back. You notice as you walk up to the door, you could not hear any blaster fire at all. Then when the door open, you heard one cut off and you see some of the people living near the door look up and look confused. And he sees you and gives you the like shrugging, wide-eyed what-are-you-doing-here look?

LAURA: “Hello, are you Quitall?”

NICK: He gestures like, “Alright, alright, come in, come in. Get away from that door.”

LAURA: “OK.” Then I walk in the door. Vross does as well?


NICK: Yeah, the room is like 50 meters deep. It’s pretty big. So you walk in and as the door swings shut, he calmly holsters the blaster pistol at his side. It’s a very sleek, chrome kind of gun. You haven’t seen one before. To your practiced eyes, it doesn’t look very durable, but from the half-shot that you saw, it seems to be like it does damage. It’s a blaster.

So as you get closer, he says, “Who are you? And how did you get to the middle of Anselm?”

LAURA: “We are Jedi. From the Jedi Council. First we flew here from Coruscant on a ship then landed on Pieralos, then from Pieralos, we rented a boat, then from the boat, we swam.”

HUDSON: “Thank you for all of that information.”

LAURA: “You are welcome.”

NICK: “Alright, thank you for the travel itinerary.” And he starts to like gather himself and he looks a little less guilty. And he kind of shakes himself and goes, “Where are my manners? My name is Quitall Nol. I’m an apprentice diplomat for the diplomatic embassy here.” And he looks expectantly at y’all.

LAURA: “We know. I am Darcevy. And this is my–”

HUDSON: “Vrime Vross.”

LAURA: “Is that your name? Vrime Vross?”

HUDSON: “I am Vross.”

LAURA: “Oh, I was worried I was using the wrong name.”

HUDSON: “No, there is a nickname that my–My master called me Vrose at points. We have an odd relationship.”

LAURA: “I will continue calling you Vross. Anyway, Quitall, we have some questions that we would like to ask you. Is this a good place for that?”

NICK: “Sure. This is probably the most private place we could possibly have, so yeah, ask away, I guess.”

LAURA: “How acquainted were you with the diplomat Kira Toondely?”

NICK: Make me a Xenology check please.

LAURA: Oooh….

HUDSON: I got this. What difficulty?


NICK: This one’s going to be hard, because this is not a common race.

LAURA: I’ll go first.

HUDSON: OK, she is going first.

LAURA: Nope. Oh, sorry, one threat.

HUDSON: I have one threat.

NICK: One threat. So you see between his shell panel things that he seems to darken a little bit. And he looks kind of angry and as you ask about that, he says, “Well, she was a valuable diplomatic contact, of course, but there’s not much else to tell. I don’t know why you’re coming all the way here just to ask about her.”

LAURA: “Are you aware that she has been missing?”

NICK: “She—what?! No.”

LAURA: What would it be to guess if he’s actually surprised?

NICK: I guess a Perception.

LAURA: Is that Perception or Vigilance?

NICK: Probably Perception.

LAURA: Perception.

NICK: I would say Perception.

LAURA: OK, Perception. I need to put points in Perception.

NICK: I call for that a lot.

HUDSON: I’m a boss at perception.

LAURA: I’m so unperceptive.

HUDSON:  What difficulty?

NICK: This one would be average. But with a black die.

LAURA: I want to flip a Light Side point.

NICK: OK, to upgrade your check.

LAURA: To upgrade my one dice. I am not very cunning or perceptive.

HUDSON: I’ll go first. I have two yellow and two green for my perception. Three successes and two advantages.

NICK:  OK. Let’s see what Darcy gets.

LAURA: A threat.

NICK: OK, so Darcy, he looks pretty suspicious to you with his answers like he’s hiding something. Vross, you see a couple of things. You figure out that that darkening of color is him probably blushing, and that his answers one, looks surprised that she went missing like he doesn’t really know what that might be about, but two, he’s probably hiding something about her. From the way he’s reacting, his emotions are a lot stronger than they should be. You can sense that through the Fo~orce. ooOOooh!

HUDSON:  ooOOooh!

LAURA: I take out the note that we found that says, “Meet me tonight.” And I show it to him and go, “Does this mean anything to you?”

NICK: “Where did you find that?”

LAURA: “It does not matter. It was in the trash. But does it mean anything to you?”

NICK: “Uh, err, I don’t have to answer that. You’re in my home here. I think it would be best if you left now. Thank you. Good day.” And he turns around.

LAURA: “You realize this makes you seem suspicious.”

NICK: “Uh… Well, I—it’s not suspicious. It’s– I mean, maybe—OK, look.”

HUDSON: “You really should stay and answer our questions.”

NICK: I’m going to need some kind of roll so you could either be Coercing him at this point or Charming him at this point.

LAURA: Oh, I’m gonna do Coercion.

HUDSON: Yeah, do Coercion. I’m gonna let you do Coercion.

LAURA: I’m gonna do…

NICK: Bully Jedi Episode 2.

LAURA: Coercion and I’m going to use my Intimidating skill to downgrade the difficulty of this check. What is the difficulty?

NICK: So it was average. It’ll be easy. This poor goober.

LAURA:  One success and two advantages.

NICK:  Is there anything specific you’d like to use those advantages on?

LAURA: I would like to use some of my advantages to maybe now figure out that he was being somewhat sincere.

NICK: Yeah, I think you could use those for that. You get a little bit better feel for him through the Force.


NICK: Yeah, so you’re real scary. You’re tall and you’re wearing–

LAURA: I am very tall.

NICK: Like kind of damp robes still and he has never seen a Selonian before. So he stops slowly as you say, “You should answer our questions,” and he kind of turns around. He puts his hands on his hips, near his blaster, but he doesn’t appear to be going for it. He says, “Alright, listen, Kiara was special and I was trying to promote diplomatic relations and…” Hudson is over there wiggling his eyebrows as hard as he can.

LAURA: So many wiggles.

NICK: “I was trying to promote diplomatic relations and I asked her to meet me to talk about global policy. That’s what was going on.”

HUDSON: “Really? Global policy?”

LAURA: “Is that what the heart stands for?”

NICK: “Yeah, the singular heart of our people being combined. That’s what that was.” You don’t need to roll. He’s clearly lying. This is very obvious.

LAURA: “It seems to me you had feelings for this Kiara.”

NICK: “I mean…” He like leans back against the wall and put his hands behind his head in a dreamer pose. “Yeah, like we knew each other, but she was going to go back to Coruscant. She’d probably never come back again because this was the one big Breaching. And yeah, I mean, maybe we met a few times. It’d be useful to know her. She was real pretty. We kissed. You know, it’s no big deal!” And he’s turning really dark behind his patches. He’s blushing furiously at this point.

HUDSON: “It would really be in your best interest to give us anything you thought that was out of the ordinary or suspicious that would end up in her becoming missing. Otherwise, things are going to look real bad for you.”

NICK: “Yeah, well, I have a vested interest. Me and her got along pretty well. It’d be good if she was fine. You know, the day before I left, she thought that we were alone but I got stopped by the head of her security and she threatened me. She actually hurt me quite a bit.” And he pulls his robes down and there’s a big bruise around his collarbone. “She told me that I was supposed to stay away from her because we were going to meet up one more time. We were supposed to meet in the lobby, but the security officer told me that I needed to leave so we left a day early after that. But that’s kind of weird, right? We weren’t doing anything wrong.”

LAURA: “How did your father feel about you spending time with her?”

NICK: “Can I be honest with you folks for a second?”

LAURA: “Yes.”

HUDSON: “You have to be.”

NICK: “Oh OK. My father encouraged me to attempt to become amorous with her in the first place as a power move by the Anselmi. I never expected to fall in love.” And he gazes off into the mental distance. “But this started as his plan. You know, there is one thing we could maybe do.” And he reaches down into a bag that’s sitting off to the side. It’s like an athletic bag. And he starts skimming through and he goes, “We actually planted a bug in the lobby of the Tortillian. Let’s see if I can see anything.” And he starts flipping through and he goes, “Oooh, kriff.” And he turns it around.

And you see from a slightly different angle, the shot that you saw before of Kiara coming down and reaching past the Bantha Cakes for some Ewok jerky and about where the static would happen, you see Soana Lette walk down the stairs and put her arms around the young Kiara and start leading her toward the door and they seem to get into a little bit of an argument. Then she bodily shoves her out the door. And then the lobby is empty after that.

LAURA: So Soylana goes out with her as well?

NICK: Mhmm.

LAURA: OK. Can we see is there a speeder or anything that’s like waiting out there? Or we just see them go outside?

NICK: You see them go outside.


HUDSON: “That is interesting. You think you could make us a copy of that?”

NICK: “Yeah, I can do that. Just don’t tell anyone where you found it.” And he presses a button and he ejects like a little SD card and gives it to you. A Holo SD card.

HUDSON: A Holo-card.

NICK: Yeah, and so he says, “You know what we can actually do? This is really our chance to repair relations. Let’s go to the surveillance unit and get some more information.”

And that’s where we’ll end the episode. Ba-naaa~!

HUDSON: Ba-naaa~!

LAURA: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed the show, please consider logging into iTunes and leaving us a 5-star review. 5-star reviews help new listeners find the show.

Darcevy is played by Laura Penrod and she can be found on Twitter at @Cheerio_Buffet.

Vross is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @HudsonJameson

Soana Lette was played by me, Cameron Robertson. I can be found on Twitter at @MidnightMusic13.

Our game master was Nick Robertson. He can be found on Twitter at @Alias58.

Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad. And check out our website at

Please reach out to us and let us know what you like. We love to hear from our listeners. See you next time.

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